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We haven’t been back together for long and we’re both afraid that this honeymoon period won’t last. The sex only gets better, so it’s not that—but we both fear that something is going to come along and wreck everything. Like my ex will find out I’ve already moved on, or the kids will never accept George. My parents might not accept him either. My friends certainly will have trouble since they remember how hurt I was when we broke up all those years ago. Or, scarier than anything—he might get cold feet again with his commitment issues. So we’re still in the early stages where it’s all secret liaisons, nobody knows, and people have begun asking questions about the perpetual smile on my face.

George is truly my one—the man I’m going to give myself to completely, if he plays his cards right. If the stars align and don’t fuck this up for us. I never thought this would happen so soon after leaving my husband, but maybe the truth is, nobody in the intervening years has ever truly lived up to George—so there is a heck of a lot riding on this. I try not to think too deeply about how much I stand to lose if he leaves me again. How it’ll feel like it’s not only over for me romantically with any man, but like, I may as well have just stayed in a sexless marriage and saved everyone all the pain. I feel selfish sometimes for being this happy. I sometimes can’t tell what George is thinking and feeling, so sex is how we tell one another. Because at this stage, it’s so important to keep it light and fun, right?

We’re currently driving back to his place from a lunch date. I say his place, but it’s also his office and the hub of his business, so… we can’t necessarily enjoy afternoon delight. His employees think I’m a potential partner (in more ways than one). So since he has to get back to work upon our return, and I’ve got to pick up the kids later, we don’t have a lot of time today. Yet I want to make it special.

“It’s so cold, honey. I know how we can get warm, though.”

He glances at me from the driver’s seat, a small smile playing on his lips. “Oh yeah?”

“Remember the days before you had money… and that car you drove then… what was that?”

He chuckles while keeping his eyes focused on the road; it’s icy today and there’s a bit of traffic around. “Yeah, it was the Polo. Tiny thing.”

“Yeah. Remember when we were coming back from a drive to the mountains and we pulled over and did it in the back seat?”

He groans at the memory. “It was uncomfortable. I can still feel the way my back ached afterwards, you wouldn’t settle for anything less than mind-blowing.”

“Hmm, so nothing’s changed there, then,” I purr, and he takes my hand, squeezing my fingers. The twinkle in his eyes tells me all I need to know.

“Not much has changed, Toni. Except I think there’s more space now.” He gestures over into the back seat. “Though it’s too bright at this time of day, too many people. I saw police a few miles back prowling the roads.”