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The one who wanted to know was Thomas, my best friend, who, together with his big brother, regularly sold all kinds of stuff at the aforementioned flea market. And I was regularly roped into helping set up and sell. Not a particularly pleasant activity in freezing temperatures. I was still freezing just thinking about the past weekend. This time, however, I had a good reason to decline with thanks.
“Sorry, I really can't. My mother and her boyfriend are dragging me to a swimming competition.“
”And who's competing? Not one of those water-shy specimens of the human race like you?"
Thanks a lot. It wasn't my fault that I was in the hospital with leukemia when everyone else was taking swimming lessons. When I wanted to learn how to swim later on, I almost drowned the first time I went into the water, and since then I've had a somewhat strained relationship with the subject. Although I've since learned to keep myself reasonably safe above water, I still preferred to stay in areas where at least my head was above the water's edge.
“Nah, it'll never come to that. Tim, the guy's son, is a great swimmer. My mom thinks a day spent together would be the ideal opportunity for us to get to know each other.“
”Oh, oh, it sounds like they're actually serious.”
“It really looks that way. They spend almost every free minute together. I wouldn't be surprised if wedding bells were to ring in the near future.“
”And what do you think of it?“
”Difficult question. Well, my mother hasn't been this happy in years, and Reinhardt seems okay too.“
”And your stepbrother-to-be?”
“Ha, you got me, you weren't really listening.“
”Why?“
”I said that we were just supposed to meet on Saturday. So far I've only seen a picture of him and spoken a few words with him on the phone when I called there because of an emergency and was looking for my mother.”
I don't know why, but in all the time that my mother and Reinhardt had known each other, she had never actually met Tim.
“Well, then you should at least know how old he is.”
“Sixteen.”
“So he's still a young vegetable.”
We both burst out laughing, since we were only a year apart in age. To be precise: I celebrated my 17th birthday eleven weeks and three days ago. And on that very day, my mother had met her Reinhardt, fittingly exactly when she had invited me to the movies to celebrate the day. I had just bought a maxi-sized bag of popcorn when a bearded giant of around forty spilled a pint cup of Coke over my trousers. White jeans and black coke – that really doesn't go together. The giant baby was obviously more shocked than I was, at least he had only stammered the beginning of an apology when my mother came rushing up and started to beat him up.
Now, it should be noted that my mother is not particularly tall, and the sight of a 5'5“ woman chewing out a 6'5” man was not without a certain humor. This scene had very quickly attracted the undivided attention of all bystanders, and after a short time I was about the last one to laugh out loud – but certainly a few decibels louder than the rest of the people present. This in turn silenced my mother, and the two main actors looked at each other wordlessly for a moment. A small, energy- and rage-filled woman and a devastated Rambo lookalike. A picture for the gods. This was obviously also clear to my mother, because the angry expression on her face gave way to a broad grin. This in turn confused the poor guy in front of her even more, who now no longer knew what was happening to him.
To cut a long story short: the gentle giant introduced himself as Reinhardt, drove the three of us home (going to the movies in our soaked clothes was out of the question), and then invited us to dinner and to attend the evening performance. Well, and while I rinsed the sticky remains of Coke off my body in the shower, my mother and the culprit apparently got pretty close. When I emerged in the living room in a change of clothes, they were laughing and joking as if they had known each other forever. Which was true! They had gone to school together many years ago and then lost touch. And now this unexpected reunion, under these circumstances. In the weeks that followed, their renewed friendship developed into obvious love, with the result that two families would soon become one. Ha, Cupid himself had probably knocked the coke out of Reinhardt's hand!
Some background information about the family. My father had died in a plane crash a few years ago, and I still missed him every single day. My mother had thrown herself into her work after that, not that she needed to do so financially, but it obviously helped her to keep her mind off her husband and my father. I, on the other hand, didn't get much help, especially at a time when I needed her most, she was hardly ever home before midnight. Fortunately, this only lasted a few weeks until we both realized that it couldn't go on like this and somehow pulled ourselves together. We had a good time together for the last two or three years, and we were reasonably optimistic about the future again. A few months before my last birthday, we had even discussed the topic of “mother plus new man,” and after a few long evenings and sleepless nights, I had come to terms with the fact that this situation would probably happen at some point. That Reinhardt had really been lucky: if he had pulled this stunt on my sixteenth birthday, I would certainly have made life hell for him while he tried to land my mother.
Reinhardt himself was divorced, his wife had run off with a Latin lover without a second thought for her husband and son. That was quite a while ago, and since then Reinhardt had been a single parent. As I said, we got along well, and if my mother felt attracted to a new man, someone like Reinhardt was definitely not a bad choice. He didn't force himself into my life, didn't try to curry favor, but on the other hand was always willing to listen to me, and without treating me condescendingly. But enough of that, I'd better jump back to the current events. Where was I? Oh yes, Thomas wanted to forcibly recruit me and had probably been rebuffed for the first time.
“I'm really sorry, Thomas, but you'll have to manage without me.“
”Like hell you will. But well, at least we won't have to give you any of the income.“
”I'll have to live with that, even if I don't know how I'll manage it yet.”
“Said Rockefeller Jr. Well, anyway. Do you already know how long the family reunion will take? Can you make it to Katja's party?“
”Sh...it, I forgot all about that! Damn, I have no idea if I can make it. Who knows, maybe my mother and Reinhardt have planned some kind of activity for the evening, too.”
“Come on, you just have to come. You're the only one who can make their music system work for the whole house.“
”Oh, is that why you really want me there?”
“Well, that too. But think of the great atmosphere at Katja's parties. Jürgen manages the grill, Lisa gets drinks. There will definitely be at least fifty people there. Oh, and there are bound to be a few cute guys there too.“
I had to grin. Now he had me.
”Okay, okay, I'll try harder.”
“I knew it. Oh, damn, is that the time already? Bye, I have to go pick up my little sister from kindergarten. See you tomorrow!”
And he was gone before I could even utter a reply. As for the cute boys: Well, I'm gay. And I'm pretty much out. (Has anyone ever noticed how stupid it can sound when you mix German and English words?) It wasn't like the whole school knew about me, but all of my friends knew. It hadn't been a completely smooth process, but with the help of Thomas and three or four others, I had made it through. A few former “friends” had turned away from me a bit, but at least they had been willing to keep their mouths shut. So I was now at peace with myself and generally satisfied with my life. Now I just needed a suitable boyfriend. (Haha, just now I was complaining about English language influences, and now I'm using one myself. But what the heck, has anyone noticed that there is no really suitable German translation for this term? I mean, when someone says “That's my boyfriend” in English, everyone immediately knows what is meant, in contrast to “That's my friend.” But in German? “Das ist mein Freund” says everything and nothing at the same time – I mean, Thomas is my friend, but he is not my ‘Freund’. So which word should be used for the purpose of unambiguous identification? Beloved? Fiance? Husband? Life partner? Nothing seems to fit. So if anyone has any ideas, please share them. Otherwise, I'll just leave the boyfriend as it is for now.)
Where was I? Oh yes, pretty boys at parties. Well, I really kept my eyes open, and especially at Katja's famous parties there was always plenty of choice of guys that I would definitely let into my life. However, it had always remained only with looking, because usually a female being belonging to each cute guy emerged soon, and all my hopes went down the drain. I had not yet allowed myself to be too depressed by this, but secretly I hoped that at some point I would not leave such a party alone. I mean, it just couldn't be that all the pretty boys were either straight or already taken, right? Anyway, on my way home, I decided not to miss the upcoming celebration under any circumstances. Somehow I would be able to extricate myself from my family obligations.
Saturday morning. Or rather, Saturday night. That is, Friday night. Whatever. In any case, it was an extremely unchristian hour.
"Danny, rise and shine! Remember, we have plans today.”
I love my mother, really I do, but there were times when I wished she was far, far away. For example, right now. Not even 8:30, and my cozy slumber was rudely ended. And on the weekend, no less! Oh well, turning over onto my other side couldn't hurt. Ah, that pillow was nice and soft...
“Daniel, get up at last, or do I have to get a bucket of cold water?”
Grumble. Daniel, that said it all. If I didn't react now, she really was serious about the cold water. Wouldn't be the first time. Oh yes, by the way, in case someone reads this text out loud: Danny is pronounced the way it is spelled, not Dänny. And woe betide me if I hear someone call me that!
So I had no choice but to grumble as I got out of my warm feathers. Brrr, what a cold snap! It's only the beginning of December, and already there's a heavy frost. I'd either have to close the window overnight or find some thick winter pajamas. With a few quick steps, I was at the window, and while I pushed it closed with my right hand, I turned up the heat to full blast with my left. Then I fled to my well-heated private bathroom, where I performed the usual morning rituals.
Fifteen minutes later, I wandered back to my room, which had now reached a reasonably comfortable temperature. A glance at the outdoor thermometer: minus 8 degrees Celsius. Great. So it was going to be one of those days when I would look twice as bulky in all my warm clothes as in my normal outfit. That's what you get for being frostbitten.
“Danny, are you almost ready? Breakfast is on the table. And dress warmly, it's bitterly cold!"
Someone must have read my mind. Incidentally, this ability runs in the family, I'm quite good at it too. What? Proof? Okay. I'll try to fathom the current thoughts of the esteemed reader. Concentration. A little bit more. Almost there. Right, there it is. What? You gotta be kidding me, the reader is thinking, “This guy, at just seventeen years old, seems like quite the mama's boy.” Thanks for playing, but I'm way above that! If a mummy's boy is defined by getting along well with his mother and respecting and listening to each other instead of constantly shouting and boring each other, well, then I was probably a mummy's boy. Maybe this freshly tapped thought of the reader was just an expression of envy. Exactly, that's what it is.
Oh, by the way, I just realized that I have wasted a lot of words on my family, but not on myself. At least as far as appearances are concerned. Well, my age is already known, I am 1.81 tall (or small, I guess that's a matter of opinion), dark blonde with light highlights, brown eyes. Not fat, not thin, not a muscleman, but not a wimp either. I guess the word “average” describes me best. Which also applies to my performance at school. Although my teachers keep telling me that I could achieve a lot more if I only tried. Ha, that's all I need, to be seen as a nerd too! I'm also reasonably sporty, I'm learning karate and I'm probably quite good at it. In summer, I cycle for miles and miles. Musical preferences: N'Sync, B3, Phil Collins and Mike Oldfield – at least the first two bands are a must for a gay teenager, aren't they? Well, and that's about it, what you need to know about me.
Where was I before I got distracted again? Ah yes, the call for feeding. First, quickly take off my pajamas and put on my first day clothes. “Dress warmly,” my mother had said. In this house, that meant that under a fleece shirt and thermal jeans, a sweatshirt and - anyone who laughs now or brings up the “mama's boy” again will feel my karate skills - knitted tights were also necessary. My mother always insisted on the latter; all my attempts in earlier years to dissuade her had failed miserably. By now, I had resigned myself to her stubbornness in this regard and to the teasing from my fellow students and acquaintances, and for the sake of peace and quiet, I no longer brought up the subject. Apart from the fact that the things are quite practical and anything that kept me warm was most welcome at the bottom of my heart. So I reached for a white sweatshirt and a pair of dark blue tights, put them both on and walked in this outfit to the breakfast table in the kitchen. We always had good heating, and to put on another scarf now would have been nonsense.
“There you are at last.“
”What's the rush? There's still plenty of time, and it's only a ten-minute drive to the swimming pool at most.“
”We're not taking the car, we're walking. After the competition, Reinhardt will drive us home, or we'll do something together. All four of us have to talk about it.”
“Katja is throwing a party tonight, I should show up there by six at the latest.“ Actually only at seven, but a small emergency cushion certainly couldn't hurt.
”Do you really have to go there today?“
”I promised her long before you told me about your plans today.” Well, that wasn't the whole truth, but that must be allowed.
“Is Katja still in love with you?“
The poor thing had actually been after me practically non-stop since the fourth grade.
”I don't think so. After I told her why she'll never have a chance with me, she looked elsewhere. As far as I know, she's also had a boyfriend for a few weeks.”
“Phew, thank God. I mean, she's a nice girl, but not necessarily what I would choose for my son. So superficial and always chasing the latest fashion. Promise me you'll never fall for a male Katja.”
My mother was the first person I had told about my otherness. The time after that was anything but easy, it took many weeks for her to accept it. But when it finally happened, she had made a complete turnaround and now stood completely behind me. Which could sometimes be quite annoying, for example when we were sitting in the ice cream parlor in the summer and she would point out boys to me every few spoonfuls. “Look, Danny, he's quite good-looking, isn't he?” Hmpf, embarrassing. ‘Wouldn't that be exactly your type, Danny?’ And you couldn't say that she whispered this or even tried to keep it to ourselves.
“Don't worry, even if I were into girls, Katja would never have been on my shortlist.“
”I'm relieved to hear that.”
During this conversation, I had gradually stuffed three fresh bakery rolls into myself and emptied two large cups of tea. Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about my figure; I could eat whatever I wanted and I wouldn't get fat. Which was perhaps also due to the fact that I always made sure to get my daily exercise.
As I leaned back in my chair, my mother looked up from her crossword puzzle.
“Well, finally full?” I'm afraid I couldn't afford another eater like you, two of your kind would eat the hair off my head."
She was speaking out of pure envy that she gained half a pound just by looking at a piece of cake.
“Hey, I'm a growing teenager, I need this!“
”All right, all right. I'll quickly put this away, you get dressed, and then we'll go. Let's go!”
I trotted off to my room and completed my outfit there with a pair of blue jeans and a white fleece shirt. A quick glance in the mirror by the wardrobe – yep, I was ready to face the world. With a bold swing, my ID, keys and wallet landed in the designated pockets, and I was ready to go. I went back downstairs, where my mother was already standing in the hallway, squeezing into her coat. Someone was really in a hurry. I slipped into my well-padded shoes and then put on my favorite winter jacket. I had discovered it in a catalog for military clothing; supposedly it was the original polar jacket of the US Navy. In any case, it was wonderfully warm, and with the fur-trimmed hood, I could even do without an additional cap. However, I almost needed a seeing-eye dog, because this hood slid quite far over my eyes. Now gloves on and I was reasonably ready to face the elements.
"Can we go?”
My mother was apparently ready too, she opened the front door and pushed me through it. So the eight degrees below zero were flattering, an icy wind was blowing, and the perceived temperature was certainly well into the minus double digits. In addition, there was a light snowfall. I quickly pulled the hood over my head and was thus as well insulated as possible from the inhospitable outside world.
On the way to the swimming pool, my mother set a remarkable pace, which was particularly surprising because she normally always had to slow me down when we went somewhere together, as she couldn't keep up with her shorter legs. In view of the weather, that was fine with me, of course. Just twenty minutes later, we reached the competition venue, where Reinhardt was already waiting for us. After a brief greeting in front of the door, we went inside, where we first handed in our warm jackets at the coat rack. Reinhardt looked at me.
“So it really is you, Danny. With your disguise, I wasn't so sure.”
I gave him a pained smile. My mother hugged her future husband.
“Let him be, he's never been a fan of freezing temperatures. By the way, where is your son?“
”He's already in the changing rooms with his team. He's got a semi-final race right at the start and will join us later. I've reserved a few good seats, shall we go to the stands?”
So we wandered to our seats in the pleasantly tempered hall, and gradually I began to feel comfortable again. Which was perhaps also due to the fact that all around the pool there were only boys in skimpy swimwear, including some who truly deserved the title “eye candy”. Reinhardt's voice tore me out of my pleasant contemplations.
“Danny, Tim's trainer asked me to record the races of his team on video. Unfortunately, this means that I can't take photos with our own camera. Would you do it for me?"
Taking pictures? Why not, that was one of my hobbies anyway. I had my own little darkroom at home, and I had even won a few small prizes in photo competitions.
“Sure. You just have to explain the camera to me.“
”No problem, you'll probably be fine with it. Look, it's digital, so you don't need film."
Wow, I had been eyeing one of these for a long time! Reinhardt briefly explained to me what I needed to pay attention to, and I probably wouldn't have any problems with it.
“Well, that's actually it. If you want, you can also walk around a bit and look for suitable motifs. Here, put this card around your neck so you can get into the area where only supervisors and the press are allowed.”
This was getting better and better! On many of my photo excursions, I had been annoyed that I was not allowed to get to the really interesting places. The colorful piece of cardboard on the string around my neck would help me overcome this hurdle this time.
"Can I go right away?”
“Go ahead. Here are a few more memory cards. Take as many pictures as you want. There's room for at least 150 pictures on each of these things, so you can really let off steam. Oh yes, here's a set of batteries too.“
”Thanks!” And off I went.
First, I took a few shots of the hall – always keeping a safe distance from the edge of the abyss, that is, the edge of the pool – then I turned more and more to individual details. The mother of a swimmer, who was apparently much more excited than her son. The gray-haired ice cream seller, who wouldn't have a chance of doing business with me again until spring. The speaker who just asked the participants of the first race to gather at the starting line. Time to move there.
My wonderful pass actually got me right to the edge of the pool, where I now recorded the gladiators entering the water. One of them had to be Tim, and I tried to recognize him from the small picture I knew. However, since this was no longer the newest and the swimmers with their wet hair and training clothes looked a bit different, I didn't succeed right away. I had narrowed the circle of suspects down to three when the announcer began introducing the participants. A few names I didn't recognize passed me by, and then it happened.
“On lane four, Tim Bergner, last year's champion and holder of the state record in his age group.”
I had guessed right, it was one of my three candidates. I took a photo of him and then watched as he took off his tracksuit. It would certainly be interesting to see what kind of figure he cut in a skimpy swimsuit. But wait, it seemed that I was not granted this view. What was coming into view then?
When the tracksuit was completely off, I could see in full what Tim was wearing. It was one of those modern swimsuits that covered the body from the shoulders to just above the knees. Speedo Aquablade was on it. I wasn't quite sure whether I should regret this or welcome it. The skin-tight piece of fabric really showed off the muscular body of my future stepbrother. So I quickly took a few more photos, then tore myself away from him and also paid attention to his competitors, of whom another was competing in the same outfit. All swimmers had now been introduced, and the starter called them to the blocks. I took a strategically favorable place from which I intended to photograph the start as authentically as possible. The commands came, the starter raised the pistol, and with the bang of it I pressed the trigger, focusing on the middle lanes and thus also on Tim.
Shortly afterwards, I was rewarded with an obviously very good picture on the control monitor. If that looked half as good in large, I had managed to take a great snapshot. I tore myself away from the monitor and turned my attention back to the race. Damn, what was it all about? I probably should have listened better. Oh yes, 200 meters freestyle. I pointed the camera again, but decided not to take a picture and waited for the swimmers to approach me again after the first turn. Tim and his two neighbors were practically neck and neck, and I took the opportunity to zoom in very close on the three of them and take a series of six pictures. While the camera was saving these, I followed the race, in which Tim now managed to pull ahead a little. The camera was ready to go again in time for the next turn, and I caught my soon-to-be stepbrother in close-up.
Now I was looking for a good place to get the finish line in my sights. A man who was recognizable by his professional equipment as a press photographer spotted my searching look and waved me over to him. He had picked a really good, slightly elevated spot, and I was allowed to set up right next to him. In the meantime, the race was going very well for Tim; at the last turn, he had already swum out a full body length ahead. Now he was approaching the finish line with powerful arm strokes, and I was aiming at the spot of his impending triumph. Just before he touched the wall, I released the shutter and was rewarded when the camera did exactly what it was supposed to at just the right moment. I took a few more shots, including one of Tim climbing out of the pool, dripping wet. When he was completely out of the water, he looked at me intently.
“Hey, isn't that our camera? You must be Danny, right?“
”Exactly. Good race, congratulations. I hope you didn't overexert yourself and saved a little strength for the finals.”
He smiled at me a little uncertainly. Oh oh, that smile, those green eyes! At that moment, I was damn glad not to be standing in front of him in a skin-tight swimsuit like that. My God, that would have been embarrassing!
"Don't worry, I held back a little on purpose.”
Held back? It hadn't looked like that! Just as I was about to tell him that, a guy in a tracksuit turned up.
“Great, Tim, well done. The other finalists are already shaking in their boots. Get in the shower and put some clothes on. Your final is not until one, so you can go to your father's then. But remember: don't eat or drink too much!”
So that was Tim's trainer. He sent his protégé into the changing room with a slap on the backside. I almost did the same, but I managed to pull myself together at the last moment. The man turned to me.
"And who are you, a friend of Tim's?”
“Not yet, but I hope to be. His father and my mother are going to get married.“
”Ah yes. Tim has already told me about that. Then that's your mother sitting up there next to Reinhardt?“
”Exactly. The two thought this would be a good opportunity for Tim and me to get to know each other.”
“In that case, you're welcome to come with me to the changing room, you're practically part of the family.“
Oh no, I'd rather not go through that test. Up close and personal with a bunch of more or less naked guys, no thanks. I mean, yes please! But not necessarily now.
”Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather move on and take a few more pictures.”
“As you wish. The offer stands. Will I get to see the pictures sometime? You recorded Tim's finish, didn't you?“
”I did. As for the pictures, you'll have to ask Reinhardt; it's his camera and I work for him, so to speak.“
”I'll do that. Well, I have to go, it was nice to meet you. Bye.”
“Bye.”
And I was alone again. Alone and quite confused. Wow. No boy had ever made such a huge impression on me at first or even second glance. Okay, I had already realized that Tim had a great body when I saw him on the starting block, but what threw me off the most were his eyes and shy smile. I realized that I had obviously fallen in love.
But wait a minute, help, this can't be true! For heaven's sake, not with this one boy! My future stepbrother, the thought of it almost bordered on incest! Not to mention all the problems that would arise from it. This simply couldn't happen. Lost in these frightening thoughts, I made my way to our grandstand seats.
“Well, Danny, did you manage the camera?“
I woke up from my brooding.
”Uh, yes, thank you. It was actually quite easy.“
”Great. Did you take some good pictures?“
”I think so. Some of the hall, Tim's start and also his finish.“
”Very nice. Did Tim notice?”
“I think so. We also spoke briefly when he came out of the pool.“
”Hm, then you have been tasked with defending the camera against him. Tim doesn't particularly like being photographed, and if you're not careful, he has the ability to delete pictures of him immediately.”
“Sorry, I didn't know that. Otherwise I wouldn't have photographed him.“
”No need to apologize, quite the opposite. Sometimes you have to force him to be happy. Later he will be grateful when he can show the pictures to his children and grandchildren.“
”Well, but I don't want to be blacklisted on his first day.”
“Don't worry, it's not as serious as it sounds. He'll grumble a little, but he won't be really angry with you. Or did he say something like that?“
”No. I congratulated him on his victory, he said he held back a bit and smiled. Then his trainer came and sent him to the locker room.”
“Tim smiled? Wow, then I definitely have to put a red dot on the calendar. Since... well, since his mother left us, he rarely smiles. I think that's a good sign, you'll probably get along well."
Hopefully. And hopefully I didn't ruin everything with my emotional turmoil.
“So, are you going to stay with your mother for a while? I'll check on Tim in the cabin and then bring him over here.“
And off he went. My mother hadn't had a chance to say anything the whole time, which was certainly a new experience for her. So she turned to me after Reinhardt's disappearance.
”So, Danny, be honest. Do you have a good feeling about this?”
Great choice of words. I'd rather not tell her what kind of “feeling” I had about the matter.
“Sure, Mommy. We'll work it out together. And if not, we'll just see who has the stronger arguments: a swimmer or a karateka.”
She looked deep into my eyes.
“Do you always have to make everything funny? This is a serious matter.“
”Don't worry, really. Tim seems okay, he didn't go for my throat and didn't give me the impression of rejecting or even hating me. He's probably just as resigned to the new family circumstances as I am.”
“Just resigned? Nothing more?“
”Hey, don't expect too much at once. Reinhardt is nice, and I'm happy for you, but only time will tell how all this will affect my life. In any case, I'm willing to give him every chance. And Tim, of course, too.”
“Sorry, Danny. It means a lot to me that you're giving us this chance. I know it's not easy, especially for you guys. I mean, Reinhardt and I have found each other, we love each other – but you guys are more or less thrown together without really knowing or knowing each other. We're asking a lot of you.”
“Don't worry, everything will be fine. By the way, have you talked to Reinhardt about tonight yet?“
”Not yet, we can discuss that when the four of us are together. Maybe at lunch.“
”Okay.”
At that moment, the two objects of desire, my mother's (Reinhardt) and mine (Tim), approached and sat down with us. Tim's hair was dry again and I could see its actual color: an almost white blonde, with a few green(!!) highlights. He was wearing a tracksuit from his club and white basketball shoes. My mother, who was the only one who hadn't seen him today, greeted him and congratulated him on his victory. Again, the shy smile was on his face, and he thanked her with his head slightly bowed. He didn't seem to be an example of self-confidence.
The announcer announced the next race, in which two swimmers from Tim's team would be competing again. Reinhardt grabbed the video camera to do his job.
"I still have to film the next two races, after that nothing more will happen that I need to record until Tim's final. What do you think about all of us going to the Sportlerklause for dinner?”
He received general approval. Shortly thereafter, the race was started, and two minutes later, both of Tim's teammates had been eliminated. He seemed to be more or less the only figurehead of his club, because in the next race, only one of his colleagues managed to qualify for the final. The loud cheers from the stands freed me from the need to make a big show of conversation; I just looked in Tim's direction every now and then, very cautiously and a little unsure of myself, and caught him doing the same a few times in my direction. Whether this was because I had captivated him with my super body and outstanding personality, or whether it was simply a little nervousness towards the future “big brother” – well, who could say?
Then it was time to make our way towards the feeding trough. Reinhardt packed the camera, and we all rose from our seats.
"You three go ahead, Tim knows the way. I'll quickly drop the camera off at the trainer's, I don't feel like lugging it around with me.”
We did as we were told and set off. Our march was more or less silent, although my mother tried a few times to engage Tim in conversation, but she only ever got monosyllabic answers and then gave up. This continued in the restaurant, where, to our great surprise, we immediately found a free table for four. Then my mother couldn't take it anymore.
“Well, Tim, that was a really great performance you showed there. How long have you been swimming, anyway?“
”About eight years. And I'm really not that good.“
”But it looked different earlier. You were a lot better than the others in your race.“
”Thanks.” Finally, the corners of his mouth pointed slightly upwards again. Let's see if that could be strengthened a little.
“She's absolutely right. You might even be able to beat me."
My mother snorted, and Tim looked back and forth between us in confusion. When my mother had calmed down somewhat, she explained my somewhat strange relationship to the wet element to Tim. And then she felt obliged to make a comment about my performance in this regard.
“To beat Danny, you'd have to get him into the water first! And if you then hung a hundredweight of lead on your body and gave Danny half the distance as a head start, well, then there would be a risk that you would lose to him, at least not completely.”
Of course I couldn't let that sit entirely uncommented and turned to my mother in well-played outrage.
"Come on, I'm really not that bad. I would have a chance against him too, if only he had to lug half a hundredweight of lead around. If he would just give me three quarters of the lead.”
Now we had made it with combined forces, Tim burst out laughing, which drew the attention of the neighboring tables to us. Appropriately, Reinhardt came to our table at that moment, who obviously enjoyed the sight of his tearfully laughing son.
"I see the ice has broken. What's so funny here, Tim?”
“It's about Danny's swimming skills.“
”Exactly, I was just about to give Tim a few crucial tips on how he could improve his technique to stand a chance against me in the pool.“
”But that was very kind of you.“
”Well, that's one of the tasks of a big brother, isn't it?”
Tim, who had calmed down a little in the meantime, burst out laughing again at this exchange, while Reinhardt and my mother looked at each other with pleasure and relief. My mother turned to Reinhardt's son.
“Tim, it's self-service here, do we two want to go and get food and drinks for all of us?”
Reinhardt intervened.
“Leave it to me, Maria, I'll take care of it.“
”No way, Reinhardt. Look at Danny, he's wearing a fresh white shirt, he certainly doesn't need any cola stains on it.“
”Well, I'm not that clumsy!“
”Nevertheless, we'd rather not take any risks. Agreed, Tim?”
“Sure. Dad, Danny, what do you want to eat and drink?“
While Reinhardt placed his order, I quickly scanned the menu. Ah yes, there was something that suited my taste. Tim had meanwhile finished with his father and was now looking at me questioningly.
”I'll have the gipsy schnitzel with fries, and a large Spezi.“
”As you wish, sir.”
Then the two temporary waiters left, leaving Reinhardt and me alone at the table. He (Reinhardt, not the table!) looked at me briefly and intently, then smiled.
"You two did a good job with Tim, thank you. It's been ages since I've seen him so happy. I'm sorry if the joke was at your expense.”
“It was worth it. He seemed like he could use a little cheering up.“
”You've got that right.“
”Is he always so reserved? I don't just mean now, to a stranger like me, but in general. My mother praised his running, but he acted like he wasn't nearly as good as she made him out to be.”
“That's a big problem. Since his mother left, well, he's been in a real crisis ever since. Not so much physically as mentally; he believes it was his fault that he's just not good enough and good for nothing. No matter how many people congratulate him on his achievements, he simply doesn't believe them. Damn it, the boy is the state champion, will probably be again this year, but he didn't want to participate in the championship at all because he was convinced he wasn't good enough. He seems to have lost all self-confidence.“
”Stupid situation. What can you do?”
“Not much, except to prove him wrong again and again. I consider what happened earlier a good sign. As I said, it's been a long time since I've seen him have such a fit of laughter. So, thanks again!“
”Don't mention it. After all, we're family now, or at least we'll be family soon. I'm going to go after the two of them, they can hardly carry everything by themselves.”
“Should I go? Or at least come with you?“
”Nah, you better guard the table. Besides, I like my shirt the way it is, that is to say: white.“
”Huh, not you too! Off you go!”
I set off and caught my mother and Tim at just the right moment, just as they had paid at the checkout and were about to make their way to our table with three trays. I grabbed one of the trays, and when my mother realized who the cheeky thief was, she was relieved.
“You're a godsend, I have no idea how the two of us would have gotten this away!“
”I'm not sent by heaven, but by my own ingenious intuition that exactly this would happen. I will not risk my food landing on the floor because of the weakness of the staff.“
”Oh, thank you, you too!”
But she laughed at her words. Such banter was the order of the day for us. The three of us now pushed our way back to our table, where Reinhardt had heroically defended the empty seats against the ever-increasing crowds. Phew, we made it, and without any casualties! Luckily, because I was ravenously hungry by now, and so I pounced on my meal without much preamble, which I consumed in record time. Afterwards, I sat back contentedly and watched the other three eat.
My mother had, as so often, only a salad and a glass of mineral water, Reinhardt was working on a roulade, with a glass of beer for company, and Tim was content with a potato soup and a glass of orange juice. When everyone had finished eating, my mother brought up the subject of the rest of the day.
“Reinhardt, do you already have any plans for what we could do after Tim's final race?“
”No, not yet, but I thought it would be better if we all discussed it together.“
”Good thinking. Danny already has plans for this evening. A friend is throwing one of her famous parties and he doesn't want to miss it.”
“Too bad, I had actually hoped that we would do something together, especially so that the boys could get to know each other a little better."
Hm, I really didn't want to disappoint him, but I didn't want to miss Katja's party either. Wait a minute, what was that, was an idea crawling through my brain? Wow, that could be the solution.
“I'm really sorry, Reinhardt, but the party was planned a long time ago. But I have an idea: Why doesn't Tim just come with me? We could keep snooping on each other, and you two would have a free evening.“
”I don't know. Maria, what do you think? What kind of parties are they?”
“Don't worry, Reinhardt, the troop is a bit freaky, but completely harmless. I think it's actually a good idea, Tim will meet a few of Danny's friends, and the two of them can get along without us two old folks constantly stepping on their toes.“
”If you think so. Tim, what do you say?”
“I don't know. I don't want to impose. Who knows if Danny's friends even want me there.“
”Don't worry about that, they want you. Especially the girls!“
”But they'll all be older than me.”
“Not all of them. Most of them are seventeen or eighteen, but there will also be a few people your age. They're mostly younger siblings, and we always invite them along. As long as they're not too young. Anyway, how much older am I than you? Six months, nine months? It really doesn't make that much of a difference.“
”Okay, if you say so.”
“Hey, don't be so gloomy! I promise you'll have a good time.”
Maybe that was what he was afraid of, because he looked at me with a pained expression, even a little afraid. But I wasn't going to let him off the hook now. Aside from the fact that I really liked him, what Reinhardt had told me in private had left a certain impression. I mean, when my father died, that was bad enough, but at least we knew that it was a tragic accident and that none of us could have changed it. Tim, on the other hand, apparently blamed himself for his “mother” leaving him and his father, and I could vividly imagine what was going on in his cute head.
“Good, that's settled then. What time does Tim have to be home?“
I looked at his father. Reinhardt shrugged, though.
”Tim hasn't been a big party-goer so far, I have no idea. Maria, what do you think?”
“Well, it's Saturday, so let him off the leash a little. One should be sufficient, Katja's parties are usually over by that time anyway.“
”Great. Now we just have to decide where I can pick him up. I don't want him wandering the streets in the middle of the night, especially alone.”
“He could stay in our guest room, which would only be a five-minute walk from the party, and he would be walking with Danny.“
”That sounds reasonable, Maria, thanks for the offer. So it's a deal. And what are we two old folks doing tonight?“
”I don't know, didn't you once mention something about a new pub around the corner?”
“The Hotchkins? Good idea, I wanted to try that anyway."
Reinhardt looked at my mother, and you could see his gray cells working.
“Tell me, boys, can we rely on you two? It may be late for Maria and me, and I think it would be a good idea if she spent the night with us. But then we have to be sure that everything is going well with you. What do you say?”
I looked at Tim, Tim at me. He shrugged his shoulders. That was enough encouragement for me.
"Go ahead, I said you'd get a free evening. And I'll take care of the little one.”
The last sentence earned me an extended middle finger from the aforementioned person, but at the same time a slight smile, which betrayed that this gesture was not meant too seriously. Then Tim turned to his father.
"Hey, Dad, then we have to stop by our place later, I don't have the right stuff for a party or stuff to stay overnight.”
He was right about that, and Reinhardt saw it too.
"No problem. After your victory, we'll drive to our place, you'll grab a few things, then I'll invite you all to have coffee at the Italian restaurant, and then we'll drop you two young'uns off at Maria's place. Agreed?”
There were no objections. Now that we had all been fed and the big palaver had been successfully concluded, we left the hospitable restaurant and returned to our grandstand seats. Tim went straight to the changing room; his final race would be announced in half an hour. I prepared the camera for action again, changed memory card and batteries, and went off to capture more pictures. While I was walking away from the other two at a leisurely pace, I caught a word of how happy they were that everything had gone so harmoniously. Well, what can I say, I was very pleasantly surprised myself. Although there was hardly a chance that Tim would return my deeper feelings – I also liked him as a brother, I could have done a lot worse. Now I just had to wait and see what would come of it.
Half in thought, half taking pictures, I didn't notice how quickly time passed, and soon Tim's race was called. I hurried to get a good place at the starting line in time. There he was, standing on the starting block in his chic blue swimsuit, I just had time to focus on him before the starting shot was fired.
During the next minute and a half, I took a few more pictures, mostly with Tim in the center. He justified the attention paid to him by swimming an extremely good race in which he never gave his opponents even the slightest chance. When he crossed the finish line, he was more than two body lengths ahead and had set a new national record. The spectators went wild, especially two particular spectators, of course, and I was thrilled too. Fortunately, my strategically chosen position meant that I was one of the first people to congratulate Tim after he climbed out of the pool. He now looked a bit more self-confident, as if he had proved to himself that he was not that bad after all.
After the next race, my mother and Reinhardt had come to see the award ceremony up close. Of course, I was there with the camera. Tim received his medal and a rather large trophy, and he beamed from ear to ear. A sight that in turn brought tears of joy to his father's eyes. His son really seemed to mean an extremely great deal to him, which was exactly how it should be. Good prospects for the future, that is, if he would feel at least a fraction of that way about me over time. It was impossible to miss the fact that my mother had already taken Tim to her heart.
When Tim left the podium, he immediately rushed over to us and also received the congratulations he was due from the other two. When Reinhardt told him how proud he was of him, Tim couldn't hold back the tears either, and the two hugged each other fiercely. My mother put her arm around my shoulder (not so easy given the size difference) and smiled happily to herself. She seemed quite satisfied with the way the day had gone so far.
Afterwards, the hero of the day went to the changing room to change his tracksuit for something more appropriate. Fifteen minutes later, we all met in the foyer by the cloakroom. Tim appeared all in black, black turtleneck, black jeans, black jacket, with equally black gloves and a cap in the same color.
"I'm ready, let's go.”
“Did you dry your hair properly?“
”I did, don't worry. I don't want to catch something just before Christmas.“
In the meantime, we had also retrieved our jackets and coats, and I slipped into my outer line of defense. Tim looked me up and down.
”Cool jacket.”
“Thanks. And it's really warm!“
”Tim, you have to remember: Danny and freezing temperatures are like fire and water, they just don't go together.“
Tim and Reinhardt laughed. Thanks, Mom.
”Mock if you will, but freeze."
We headed for the exit, and I pulled the hood over my head.
“Are you sure that with this outfit you don't fall under the disguise ban?“
”So what? Tim, with you we could never take the tram for it, they would immediately fish you out as a fare dodger.“
”Touché.“
”Well, at least you can never get lost if you fall into a snowdrift.”
Now we all laughed, and two minutes later we had reached Reinhardt's car. A dark green Chrysler Stratus, not bad. I had always had a preference for American cars, and even if it wasn't a Viper or a Corvette, it was definitely better than the everyday German counterparts.
After a five-minute drive, the temperature in the car was slowly becoming pleasant, and I leaned back relaxed into the cushions. Fifteen minutes later, which was mainly filled with uninterrupted conversation between my mother and Reinhardt, we reached our destination, a newly renovated old building. Reinhardt turned off the engine.
“You'll come in for a few minutes, won't you?"
Since I knew from personal experience how quickly a car cooled down in the prevailing outside temperatures, this offer was very convenient for me. We got out and entered the house, where we had to overcome a height difference of three floors before we stood in front of the apartment door with the nameplate ‘Bergner’. Reinhardt opened the door and, like a concierge at a luxury hotel, guided us past him into the hallowed halls. Halls, by the way, was quite appropriate – large rooms, high ceilings, a full-grown bowling alley would have found enough space in the corridor without much difficulty. I would have to talk to my mother about this topic at a suitable opportunity. If we were to move in together, it would hopefully be in our house and not here, as nice as the apartment was.
We took off our jackets and coats and slipped out of our snow-wet shoes – which presented Reinhardt with a minor problem.
“Excuse me, but we don't have any guest slippers at the moment, I entrusted the old ones to the dumpster last week. Is that a problem?“
We two guests looked at each other, then at the carpeted floor, then we shook our heads.
”No, Reinhardt, not really.”
“Very nice. Tim, will you pack a few things? We'll be waiting for you in the living room.“
”Okay, I'm on my way."
He made his way to the lower levels of the apartment, and while Reinhardt opened the living room door for my mother, I looked after his son. He stopped after a few steps, paused briefly, and then turned to us.
“Danny, do you want to come to my room?“
I certainly wouldn't want to miss this opportunity, but I tried not to show my enthusiasm for the invitation too clearly.
”Sure, why not?"
I followed Tim to the end of the long corridor, where he opened a door with a large prohibition sign to keep uninvited visitors out. Well, I didn't seem to fit that description, so I fearlessly followed him into his private chambers. His room was much smaller than I had expected, judging by the scale of the other rooms I had already seen. My astonishment must have been obvious.
“What's the matter, don't you like it?”
"No, no, I just thought of something bigger.”
The room was considerably smaller than my own. At most half the size, although almost twice as high. But it was very comfortably furnished, in one corner by the window was a sofa bed, which served as a bed at night and as a seat upholstered with many pillows during the day. Opposite was a small wall unit with a fold-out desk, a small TV and a stereo system. Behind glass, a good dozen trophies and even more medals. In addition, there was a wardrobe and a few shelves. Various posters hung on the walls, but I couldn't quite figure out their combination. I mean, how do Lara Croft and the Backstreet Boys go together? I turned back to my host, who was now answering my unspoken question.
“I could have had a bigger room, but I like it better this way. It's somehow cozier when you can't get lost in your own room. The next bigger room is three times as big, I wouldn't even know what to put in there.“
”Funny, but the word cozy just came to mind, too."
Tim smiled at me (apparently relieved).
“It's best if you sit on the couch while I pack my bag.”
I did as I was told, and before Tim put his announcement into action, he turned on the radio, where the Spice Girls, whom I didn't particularly admire, were performing. The couch was even more comfortable than it looked, and I took the opportunity to put my feet up a little after standing at the edge of the pool for so long.
Meanwhile, Tim had taken out a gym bag and was now starting to pack a variety of things into it from several compartments and drawers. Initially, I tried to follow his actions, but at some point the short night before took its toll, and I must have actually fallen asleep.
"Danny? Hey, Danny, wake up!”
“Hm... What? Oh crap, sorry, I must have dozed off. What were you saying?“
Now Tim wasn't smiling at me, no, he was grinning mockingly! Okay, I guess I had deserved that.
”I wanted to know if there was any kind of dress code for the party. What should I wear?”
“Whatever you want, as long as you don't show up stark naked – which wouldn't be recommended at these temperatures anyway – anything goes.“ Huh, my mind must not have been fully present, otherwise I certainly wouldn't have let that slip. Although, the idea... Tim stark naked... not that bad.
”What are you going to wear?”
“I'm not sure yet. Maybe white jeans and a blue shirt. Let's see what's in the closet.“
”I have something like that too. Would you mind if I wore it?“
”No problem. It doesn't bother me, but I would recommend that you never show up at a party in the same dress as my mother. She can get pretty nasty about it.”
“It's good that you're telling me, I'll be careful. Fortunately, I have a wide selection of clothes, so there should always be something that is very different from what she wears."
Oops, the little one had a sense of humor! Very good. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. When we had calmed down, Tim looked at me a little uncertainly.
“What do you think, should I change right now or just before the party at your place?“
”I guess at my place is better. Especially safer. Your father still wants to take us all out for Italian food, and there are a lot of things there that he can spill over us.”
Tim didn't seem to mind the little dig at his father; on the contrary, he was on the verge of bursting out laughing again. But he pulled himself together.
"You're right, that wouldn't be so great. So I'd better pack everything up.”
And that's exactly what he did. Shortly afterwards, he disappeared for a moment and came back with a smaller bag, which probably contained his toiletries. He then put these in his large gym bag.
“Well, that's everything, I'm ready to go.”
"Then I guess we should see what our old folks are up to.”
With a bit of melancholy, I said goodbye to the comfortable couch and left Tim's room, with Tim in tow. Loud laughter came from the living room, and after a short knock, we entered.
“Dad, I'm ready.”
“Do you have everything you need?”
"I think so.”
“And if he has forgotten something, it's not a problem, Danny can help him with anything.“
”Well, if you think so. Let's go, the Italian restaurant is waiting."
We left the house, got into the car, and five minutes later we were where we wanted to go. We found a nice place by the window and studied the menu. Fortunately for me, they not only had ice cream but also a large selection of cakes and pies. I decided on a cheesecake and a hot chocolate, and, surprisingly, Tim went with my choice. We didn't have to wait long before our order was served.
Generously, Reinhardt refrained from dirtying other people's clothing and limited himself to decorating his own shirt with a coffee stain – which earned him a pained look from my mother.
"Well Reinhardt, if we move in together, I refuse to constantly wash your stained clothes! How can such a big guy be such a klutz!”
“I plead guilty, but I refer to mitigating circumstances. Just look at the cup handle, it's not for such big hands.”
She had to admit that he was right, and the rest of the coffee klatch went peacefully and without further damage. After that, it wasn't long before Tim and I were dropped off at our house. The usual mixture of farewells and admonitions followed.
"So, here we are. You boys behave yourselves, we're counting on you, understand?”
“Sure, Mom, don't worry.“
”Hm.“ She pulled me aside and lowered her voice. ‘Take care of Tim, don't let him sit around all alone at the party. He doesn't seem to be the type to approach others on his own.’
”Don't worry, I'll make sure he has a good time, too.”
We went back to the other two, where Reinhardt was just telling his son what to do.
“Well, Tim, have fun. And remember, Danny's in charge. If he tells you something, listen to it, okay?”
Hm, that sounded promising. Although I would definitely not take advantage of it. Never. Honestly.
"Got it.”
A few more brief parting words, and the two adults drove off. I looked at my ward.
“So, we've got rid of the two lovebirds. Come in.”
I opened the front door and pushed Tim into the hallway.
“The coat rack is on the left, hang up.”
"Where can I put my wet shoes?”
“There's a rubber mat right behind you. Put them on it."
While I flung my jacket on a hanger, Tim took off his shoes, and it became clear once again that our corridor was a bit too narrow for two people to use it. That is to say, we kept bumping into each other. When Tim then wanted to push past me to the wardrobe, I stopped him.
“Wait a minute, it's not going to work like this. Give me your jacket, I'll take care of it.“
”Thanks, it's probably better that way.“
When finally all the jackets and shoes were where they belonged, I led Tim to the stairs.
”Go up already, my room is the second door on the left.“
”And what about you?”
“I'll be right up, I just want to get something from the kitchen. Now that your father is gone, it shouldn't be too dangerous to open a bottle of Coke. Do you want a glass too?“
”Sure, thanks.”
Tim dragged his bag up the stairs, and I took a maxi-bottle of Coke and two glasses from the fridge. With my supplies in hand, I followed Tim towards my room.
My future little brother had left his bag there and was taking a look around. As already mentioned, my room was considerably larger than his and was distinguished, among other things, by a large-screen TV and a computer system with two printers, a scanner, a slide scanner and a 19-inch monitor. Tim, however, had noticed something quite different.
“Tell me, why do you have two beds?“
There were actually two such pieces of furniture in the room, and there was a good reason for that.
”The left one more or less belongs to Thomas, my best friend. He's been staying here fairly regularly for about ten years – no wonder, he has an older brother and three younger sisters and is always happy to get out of the chaos for a night or two.”
“I don't know, I always wanted brothers and sisters. It's no fun being all alone."
I hadn't really thought about it much. I didn't mind being alone that much, and as I said, Thomas was a frequent guest.
“Well, it looks like your wish will come true after all. I can't offer you a sister, but I'm available as a brother.“
”Well, I was thinking more of a younger brother, but I guess I'll be able to live with that.”
Tim smiled at these words, so I didn't worry about it any further.
“So this is Thomas' bed, and I thought I would sleep here.”
"Would you like to? Mom said something about a guest room, but if you want, you can also sleep here. We just have to change the bedding.”
“If I'm not getting on your nerves too much, I'd actually prefer to stay here. Please don't laugh at me, but this is the first time in ages that I've stayed in a stranger's house, and then all alone in a stranger's room... well, I'll have to get used to that first.”
“No problem. Besides, it's probably more fun with two of us. If you want, you can take your toiletries to the bathroom, which is the door next to the closet. I'll take care of the bedding in the meantime."
Tim took his bag and opened the door in question, only to turn to me a moment later, wide-eyed.
“You have your own bathroom? Complete with shower and tub?“
”Yep. After I got in the way of my mother more and more often, she had an extra bathroom installed without further ado.“
”Great.” And he disappeared into the aforementioned sanctuary.
I, on the other hand, grabbed all the bedding from Thomas' bed and transported it to the guest room to exchange it with the bedding there. When I returned to my room, I tried my best to make the bed look as perfect as it had before, but to be honest, I wasn't very good at it. Thomas, on the other hand, was – well, let's put it this way: both the Bund and his future wife would have been delighted with him. As I made the last more or less unsuccessful attempts, Tim came out of the bathroom again.
“Well, everything stowed?“
”Yes. You're really a lucky guy, having a huge bathroom all to yourself. When I think of home... Especially in winter, it's stupid if you have to go to the bathroom at night, it always means a hike across the freezing corridor.”
“Well, as the saying goes, my toilet is your toilet. At least tonight you will be spared such an unpleasant journey.“
”Thanks. With such advantages, I might even get used to an older brother.“
”I should hope so, our parents are relying on us.”
“It won't be me. By the way, when do we have to leave? Should I change already?“
”We have plenty of time, we don't have to be at Katja's until seven, so it's enough if we start marching around a quarter to eight.“
Tim looked at the clock. Just before four.
”And what do we do with all that time now?”
“Well, I don't know what you're doing, but I'm going to jump in the shower for now.“
”What, I thought you were afraid of water?“
”That only applies to deeper waters; I have no objection to a nice hot shower. By the way, you've already had your fair share of water today, but if you want, you can have another go at me.”
“Hm. Thanks for the offer, but I don't really feel like showering at the moment.“
”No problem, it was just a suggestion.“
”Uh, without wanting to appear intrusive, but...“
Tim stopped mid-sentence.
”Go on, spit it out, I'll tell you if you get too intrusive."
Which, however, I could hardly imagine.
“Well, my bones are aching a little, and a hot bath is the best thing for that. So if it's not too much trouble...“
”Absolutely not. When I come from karate training, that's my favorite thing to do, too.“
”Thank you.“
”No problem.”
I went to my closet and took out a few extra large bath towels.
"Here, take these for now.”
Then I took some fresh underwear from my wardrobe and put it in the bathroom. Now came the big question: where should I undress? In the bathroom? Well, that would seem a bit silly to me now. In the room? In front of the boy I had a more or less intense crush on? Not the best idea either. I decided to take the middle ground. I would undress in the room down to my underwear, and then do the rest in the bathroom. I opened the straps of my dungarees and let them fall down. Then I pulled the fleece shirt over my head. Then came the moment of truth: I let the jeans slide down my legs. Tim didn't pay much attention to that, but continued to look around the room with interest. He had just discovered my CD collection and was studying it in detail. I put my undressed clothes on a chair and headed for the bathroom.
"So, I'm off. If you want, feel free to put on some music or whatever. If anything comes up, just come in, I can't hear you calling or knocking from outside anyway with the rushing water.”
“Okay.” Without turning his head to me. I disappeared into the bathroom.
Once there, I first slipped out of the rest of my clothes, stuffed them into the laundry basket, then I laid out my toiletries, adjusted the water temperature to a comfortable level and finally jumped under the water jet, pulling the shower cubicle door closed behind me.
As usual, I completely forgot about time and my surroundings while standing under the shower. There was hardly anything more pleasant for me than the warm water running down my back. I was content with myself and the world, but suddenly there was a knock on the frosted glass of the shower cubicle.
"Danny?”
“Yes, what is it?“
”Sorry to bother you, but do you mind if I turn on the tub?“
”Go ahead, I'll be done in a minute anyway.“
”Don't worry, I don't want to rush you. Stay as long as you want.”
Actually, I should really finish my shower orgy now, but on the other hand... While it was so pleasant. And again, I was startled some time later by Tim.
"Do you mind if I get into the tub?”
I looked at my waterproof watch. Oops, I had actually been in the shower for half an hour! Not particularly hospitable. And now I would see Tim naked, and he would see me too! But what the heck, after all, it was he who had the idea, not me.
"Go ahead. Sorry I'm dawdling.”
“No problem, I often forget the time when I'm doing things like that, too.”
While I now reached for the shower gel and lathered myself thoroughly, I saw Tim's shadow through the frosted glass, walking to the tub and then getting in. Shortly thereafter, a satisfied groan was heard. I now hurried with my tasks, and five minutes later I was pondering how best to slip out of the shower cubicle and bathroom. I didn't come to any real conclusion. So I rinsed myself off thoroughly once more, then turned off the tap, opened the cubicle door and stepped out. I benefited from the fact that Tim couldn't really see me from where he was standing, between us was the shower cubicle and its outward-opening door. So I could feel more or less safe from his gaze and dry myself undisturbed. However, my clothes were at the other end of the bathroom, and I would soon have to leave the privacy screen. Well, there was still another possibility. I tied one of the large bath towels around my hips and wandered into Tim's field of vision.
"Well, little brother, is it nice?”
I dared to glance in his direction, without really seeing anything, because with the exception of his head, his entire body was hidden under a thick layer of foam.
"Thanks, big brother. Just wonderful. I can already feel my muscles relaxing.”
“That's good. Stay in there as long as you want, I'll let you know in time so we can leave on time.“
”Okay. I'll try not to fall asleep.”
I grabbed my stuff from the stool and left the bathroom. It was now just before five, so still way too early to get all dressed up for the party. So I just slipped into my fresh clothes, which, like in the morning, consisted of a t-shirt and tights (I guess that's what you call a well-trained son). Let's see how Tim would react to that.
Once that was done and I had quickly dried my hair, I sat cross-legged in my computer chair and started up the Mac. I wanted to use the time that Tim spent in the tub to quickly check my e-mails. The computer booted up, and a few minutes later I was absorbed in answering a technical call for help from a classmate. I only noticed that Tim had got out of the tub and back into the room when he addressed me directly.
“I'm back. That was just wonderful, exactly what I needed.”
“Very nice. It doesn't surprise me with a water rat like you.”
"I'm just like that. Even as a small child, I jumped into every puddle.”
“I certainly hope that you have since given up this habit.“
”I think so. At least it hasn't happened to me in the last three months.“
I turned around in my chair and looked in Tim's direction. He was standing in the room, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts, and looking around.
”Do you have a hair dryer anywhere?”
I pointed to my bed, where the said device was lying half-covered by the pillow. To get to it, Tim now had to pass me, and I was able to admire his swimmer's body at close range. And “admire” was the right word. Although it was already December, the remains of a summer tan were still present, and his smooth skin was not marred by any hairs or other disturbing things. Luckily, my loosely hanging T-shirt covered a certain region of my body. It was precisely these lower parts of my body that Tim, who had stopped in front of me at a distance of one meter, was now staring at. However, as his next words showed, he had something other than my stated problem in mind.
"Say, what are you wearing?”
Although I knew exactly what he meant, I decided to play a little uncomprehending.
“A T-shirt, why?”
“Nonsense. I mean down below. These are tights, aren't they?”
“Oh, that. Yes, you're right.”
"And you wear something like that?”
“Not entirely voluntarily, my mother insists on it.“
”Well, I would never go along with that.“
I had an idea, he shouldn't feel too safe.
”Just wait and see, when we're a family, this instruction will also apply to you, you can count on it.“
”Never! If necessary, I'll talk to my father about it, he'll talk her out of it.”
“I wouldn't be so sure about that. My mother can be damn stubborn, and knowing her, after such a conversation between the two of them, not only you but also your father will be walking around in those things.“
”I really can't imagine that.“
”Believe it. But it's not quite that bad, at least the things are nice and warm.“
”That seems to be the most important thing for you.”
“Exactly. If you can't avoid winter, then at least I don't want to freeze. And now don't tell me that you only walk around in jeans in the cold.“
”Nope, I never said that.”
Tim went on to get the hair dryer, then he returned to “his” bed and sat down on it, reaching for a pile of clothes that I only noticed now.
"Thermal underwear. Just between us, I don't like to freeze either. Besides, my father would never let me go out without something on underneath. But he would never think of getting me tights.”
“Well, that's more of a mother's domain. We'll see. Either I'll be allowed to wear something like you in the future, or you'll soon find a stack of tights in your linen closet. I'm afraid, though, that the latter will happen, the odds are about 10:1.”
Tim grumbled something into his non-existing beard and started to put on the aforementioned long underwear. I watched him do it, and a few moments later he was dressed in light blue from top to bottom. He added a pair of thick socks. At this sight, another question occurred to me that had been burning under my fingernails since the swimming competition.
“Tell me, do these swimsuits really work? I mean, okay, you won, that should be proof enough, but still...“
”As you may have noticed, someone else was wearing one of those suits in my semi-final, and he only came in second to last.“
”Hm, that's right, I'd forgotten that.”
“But seriously: my trainer thinks that you have to believe in it for it to work. I believe in it, and as you can see, it seems to be working. Besides, there's something else behind it: our team is being provided with swimming and training clothes by the sponsor in return for me wearing the suit.“
”That's quite an incentive, though.”
“Exactly. We are neither a particularly large nor a particularly good club and have to count on the money quite a bit. Of course, an offer like that comes in handy.“
”Well, if you keep winning like this, the status of your club will probably change for the better soon. And don't start again with the fact that you're not that good. Finally believe what everyone else is telling you. Or can't you get it into your head?”
Tim looked down sheepishly.
“Maybe you are right after all. It's just... well, I guess I'm pretty critical of myself.”
"You're not being critical, you're being overly strict. But we'll get rid of that in you yet.”
Now Tim laughed, and I leaned back contentedly in my chair. I just couldn't get enough of this sight. He reached for the hair dryer, then looked back in my direction. And his gaze froze! Well, I thought he was over the pantyhose thing? But wait a minute, he wasn't staring at me, he was staring past me. But at what? Holy shit! I suddenly realized what had shocked him. I hadn't paid the computer the attention it deserved for a few minutes, with the result that the screensaver had activated. And this consisted of a slide show. To be precise, it was a slideshow of rather explicit and revealing pictures that I had downloaded from the internet during long nights. In a fraction of a second, I turned to the computer and moved the mouse to stop the screensaver. Sure, covering the well after the child has fallen into it. Good work, Danny. I didn't dare to turn back to Tim.
A period of time passed that seemed like an eternity to me, but probably only lasted a few minutes, if not just seconds. Then Tim found his voice again.
"Um, Danny, are you gay?”
Well, what should I answer to that? I thought feverishly, but there was no way out in sight. There was hardly anything to cover up or to deny. This was probably the end of my so hopefully begun friendship with my future little brother. Without turning around to him, I answered him in a low voice.
“Seems that way, doesn't it?“
”Indeed.“
”And?“
”What?“
”Well, are you angry, shocked, disgusted? I assume you no longer want to sleep in this room. I'll change the bedding again.“
”Not so fast, okay? I have to figure this out for myself first.”
Hm, could there still be some hope? Okay, I knew that I didn't stand a chance with him, but I would be completely satisfied if he would accept me as a brother and a friend. I gathered all my courage and turned to him. I saw an expression on Tim's face that I had never seen before. He wasn't smiling, nor was he angry, and I couldn't make out the pronounced introspection that was still there in the morning. Then he looked directly at me, and it was extremely difficult for me to withstand that gaze.
"Let's see, I'll still sleep in the room anyway. That is, if you don't mind.”
“Absolutely not, but... I mean, will you be okay with that?“
”Don't worry about it. Besides, I don't need to be afraid of you attacking me during the night, do I?"
I'd rather not tell him how much I would like to do just that. Besides, it was clear to me that I would resist that at all costs.
“You can be sure of that, I'm not a danger to you.“
”Why not?“
I thought I had misheard.
”Huh?“
”I mean, do you think I'm ugly or why am I not a danger to you?"
I had to digest that for a moment. And then I decided to be reasonably honest with him.
“Uh, Tim, I really don't think you're ugly, quite the opposite. But I can guarantee you that I would never, ever do anything against your will.“
”I'm relieved to hear that. I thought there was something about me that repelled you.“
”Really not.”
However, there was one thing I really needed to know, as his question had raised some doubts in me.
“Tell me, Tim, please don't freak out, but... are you gay too?”
He stared at me silently for a minute.
"You don't have to answer that question, just forget it.”
“No. You were honest with me, so I have to be honest with you...“
I interrupted him.
”Tim, you don't have to do anything. My honesty was also only forced. If it hadn't been for the computer and if it would have been impossible to keep quiet about it anyway, I would certainly not have told you, at least not today.”
“It's okay. You want to know if I'm gay? To be honest, I don't know. I've never thought about it. I mean, I've never been with anyone, neither with a girl nor with a boy. And it's also not that I've missed anything so far. But I can tell you one thing for sure: I don't have any problems with you being gay, really.”
Phew, now I was relieved, the stone that fell from my heart has the dimensions of an ice age glacial erratic. And the impact was certainly recorded by all surrounding seismological stations.
"Thanks, Tim. That really means a lot to me. I really like you, don't worry, as a brother and a friend. I'd find it stupid if that were to now put a strain on our relationship.”
“As I said, it won't. But just to be on the safe side, so I don't say something inappropriate: does anyone else know about it besides me? After all, I don't want your mother to have a heart attack because of something I said.“
”Not her, she was the first to know. But it's nice that you're thinking of me. Well, except for my mother, everyone knows, so there's no danger there.”
“And my father?“
”If he doesn't know from my mother – and I doubt that she told him without asking me first – then he's still in the dark. And I'd prefer it to stay that way for the time being. I'll tell him eventually, but I really want him to hear it from me, at the time I think is right.”
“Okay, my lips are sealed.“
”Thanks.“
”But what I'd really like to know is when and how you realized it yourself. If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay, but I'd really like to know.”
So I started telling Tim my story, with all the ups and downs, the support and the rejections. I even told him about the time when I had seriously considered suicide. That was one thing I had never told anyone before, not even my mother knew about it, because I didn't want to worry her. Why I told all this to Tim – I have no idea. Maybe just because I just had to tell someone, I had buried this time very deep in my memories, and somehow it felt good to let it out. Tim listened very carefully, asked a few questions and tried hard to understand everything.
“You really wanted to kill yourself?“
”Well, probably not really, otherwise I would have done it for sure. But the thought haunted me a few times through the head.“
”Why?”
“I was scared. Scared of no one wanting to have anything to do with me anymore. Scared of losing my mother after my father. Scared of having no friends anymore. I was fourteen or fifteen, and such thoughts can really scare you.“
”Sorry, it was a stupid question.”
“You don't need to apologize. It wasn't that stupid a question. For someone who hasn't experienced it themselves, it's just hard to understand. I didn't think I had anyone I could talk to about it back then. Fortunately, I eventually found the courage to tell my mother, and from then on things went uphill again, with a slight delay. And Tim?”
“Yes?“
”If you ever need someone to talk to, and don't want to go to Reinhardt or even to my mother, then try me. You can talk to me about anything, I will never laugh at you or despise you for anything or whatever. You'll see, if you let someone in on your problems, it will be much easier to solve them.”
“Thank you. Honestly. Nobody has ever made me such an offer.“
”Well, it's there. Whenever you want to take me up on it, it's fine by me. But damn, now we've talked for hours. We have to get going soon, I still have something to do before the party at Katja's.”
“Damn. It's my fault again, I've kept us here for so long with my curiosity.“
”Stop apologizing all the time. It's late but not too late. Besides, I was the one who kept monologizing. But come on, we should finish getting dressed and then go.”
“Agreed. And Danny... thanks for telling me all that. It means a lot to me that you trusted me with it.“
”Hey, no secrets between brothers, okay?“
”Okay."
With that said, we both got up and got fully dressed. I turned off the computer, grabbed two large plastic bags, and headed for the door.
“Come on, Tim, we have to dismantle some of the furniture.“
He looked at me blankly.
”What do you mean?“
”Well, my mother is a total radio freak. She wants to be able to hear her favorite station in every room. But we only have one radio hooked up to cable, and she can't get that station over the antenna. So I rigged up a radio link for her from that one radio, with speakers in all the rooms she is in. And we are now dismantling that radio link minus the speakers and taking it to the party. That way, Katja can entertain the whole house from her system in her room.“
”I see, so that's why you absolutely had to go to this party.”
“Well, I'd like to believe that I was invited solely because of my inimitable charm, but I'm afraid my technical genius also plays a role in it.“
In the meantime, we had arrived on the ground floor.
”So, you hold the bags for me, I'll pack the technology.”
Ten minutes later, everything was stowed away, we put on shoes and jackets and set off on the short walk to the venue of the cultural event.
After a few minutes of suffering from the cold, I pressed the doorbell, and apparently Katja had been standing right behind the door, because it was immediately opened for us.
“Hello Danny, I'm so glad you could come. Thomas told me about your little dilemma.“
”Are you glad to see me or the contents of these bags?“
”Well, how can you doubt me! The answer to that is obvious. Give me the bags! You can pick them up here tomorrow.“
”Your warm welcomes never cease to amaze me. By the way, this is Tim, my future... I mean, my future stepbrother. I just thought I'd bring him with me, I hope you don't mind. Tim, this disheveled figure here is Katja, the unfriendly organizer of tonight's happening. And if she doesn't let us in soon and save us from the cold, we'll go back home.”
“No way, in you come. Danny, you're not allowed to leave until the system is up and running. Your new brother is cute, he's allowed to stay anyway. You just have to
tell me whether I should set him up with a girl or a boy."
Oh oh, she had really put her foot in it this time. Poor Tim turned bright red and pale by turns.
“Just don't listen to what Katja says. Anyone who takes her seriously is asking for trouble. Besides, Katja, your matchmaking attempts never worked on me. What makes you think you can do better with Tim?”
“Quite simply, he's much better looking than you.“
”Okay. You want a party without music – you get a party without music. Tim, how about a cozy movie night at our place?”
“Oh no! Oh, please, please, Danny, you said yourself that I can't be taken seriously! Please stay here and set up the system, I beg you! I'll do anything you ask. Should I organize an escort for you for the evening? Or should I get a few of the guys who are coming tonight to play a round of strip poker with you? Name your wish and it shall be granted.”
“You know what, I won't be that way. I'll save that wish for a more opportune occasion, and I guarantee you I won't forget it. So come on, Tim, take off your jacket and get to work.“
Katja jumped up and down in delight.
”Yay, I knew I could count on you. You are and will remain my favorite homo.”
“Thanks a lot.“
Suddenly she covered her mouth with her hands.
”Oh my God, I'm sorry Danny. I hope Tim already knew, or did I blab again?“
”He already knows, even though it's only been a little over an hour.”
“That's a relief. So, you know where everything is, I have to take care of other things again.“
”Is anyone else here yet?“
”Jürgen is preparing the grill, and Lisa has already stocked the bar with her boyfriend. The first guests will probably show up in about half an hour. Is that enough time for you?“
”Don't worry, it's not your first time.”
Katja disappeared, and I set to work with Tim to equip the loudspeakers in the rooms with radio receivers. When that was done, we went to Katja's room to connect the transmitter to her system. Just as I was about to open the door, the owner of the room came running in.
"Wait, Danny, my system is broken, we have to use my brother's.”
“Does he already know about his luck?"
Katja and her little brother Ralph, just fifteen years old, didn't get along very well – well, I felt a little sorry for the poor lad. Having to live under the same roof with Katja all the time must seem like a completely undeserved permanent punishment to him.
“No, but he's not even at home, he's out with his friends. Just go in and plug everything in. There, I'm gone again.”
I didn't feel entirely comfortable with the thought of simply entering a stranger's room and messing with someone else's property without asking, but somehow I had to make it through. I went with Tim in tow to Ralph's room door and opened it energetically, and then took a big step into the room, which was completely unknown to me. It was pitch-dark, so I reached for the light switch, and shortly afterwards the light from several halogen spotlights blinded my eyes. But not hard enough for me not to have been able to see that Katja had been completely wrong with her statement that her brother was not at home. Ralph was there, lying on his bed – and he was obviously not alone. I could only see him properly, but there were a few blonde hairs that didn't match his brown ones, and I was also pretty sure that he had only had two feet and not four the last time I saw him. He was fully dressed, but the position of his body didn't leave much room for interpretation regarding what was going on. The boy had nerves – party preparations were going on all over the house, and he was enjoying himself with his girlfriend! Yes, yes, youth. He was not enthusiastic about my impetuous intrusion, though.
"Damn it, what's going on? Who's there? Get out!”
Did he want to know who had intruded, or did he want the intruder to leave immediately? As much as I could understand his reaction, my natural curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to answer his questions first.
“It's me, Danny. Your lovely sister told me to connect the radio transmitter to your stereo. She said you're not even in the house.“
Ralph remained in the position I had found him in.
”That was never the fucking deal."
The little commotion had meanwhile also attracted Katja.
“What's going on here? Ralph? I thought you were out with your friends?“
The latter slumped a little.
”Danny, give me two minutes, okay? And keep that stupid cow away from me.“
”Okay.”
I pushed my way back out through the door, pushing Katja and Tim in front of me. When we were all outside, I closed the door and stood in front of it, preventing Ralph's sister from storming back in immediately.
"The little bastard, what's he doing here?”
“Uh, just so you know, the little bastard lives here. This is his room. We're the ones who don't really belong in there.“
”So what do we do now? He'll never let me use his stereo!“
”You only have yourself to blame, you paragon of a big sister."
At that moment, the doorbell rang again.
“I suggest you take care of your guests, I'll try to sort this out. If Ralph sees your face again, he's bound to get stubborn.“
”All right, I'm counting on you. But I want to know afterwards who the floozy was he was messing around with. Our parents have handed over the responsibility to me!”
“Ah, come on, Katja. Your brother is growing up slowly. My God, the two were fully dressed, so not much could have happened. Besides, do I have to remind you what kind of stunts you pulled when you were fifteen? So go on, beat it, I'll take care of everything.”
She gave me a doubtful look, but my last comment seemed to have got through to her. Shaking her head, she made her way to the front door, which was now being banged on. I turned to Tim, who was leaning against the doorpost with a grin on his face.
“Well, I'll say one thing for you, Danny, you're a lot of fun to be with.“
”I promised you you'd have a good time.“
Tim didn't get a chance to answer, because at that moment the door opened and Ralph stuck his head through the crack.
”Danny, would you come in here, please? Alone.”
I looked briefly at Tim, who shrugged, and then I followed Katja's brother into his room. His visitor had curled up under the covers, only a piece of blonde hair sticking out, and a low sob could be heard from the corner. On closer inspection, I noticed that Ralph's eyes also looked a bit red and tear-stained. He sat down on his bed next to the rolled-up bundle and stroked the hidden head reassuringly.
“Danny, thanks for kicking Katja out.”
“That's all right. Ralph, I'm really sorry for barging in like that, but your sister said you weren't home.”
"My plans just changed a bit.”
“You don't have to justify yourself, that would be my job. But come on, it's not that bad. I mean, hey, you're almost old enough, aren't you? So how about you introduce me to your girlfriend and then we'll tackle the technical stuff together?”
Ralph gave me a slightly pained look, then turned to the still sobbing bundle, took it in his arms and slowly pulled it into an upright position, whereby the protective blanket slowly but surely slipped and revealed a tear-stained face. A tear-stained, pretty face. The face of a boy!
“Danny, I'd like you to meet Christoph. Chris, this is Danny, a friend of my sister's. You don't need to be afraid of him, he's okay. He's..."
Ralph stopped mid-sentence.
“Go ahead and say it. It's not like I'm making a secret out of it. I'm gay. And apparently I'm not the only one in this room right now. By the way, is it Christoph with an 'f' or a 'ph'?“
”With a 'ph'.”
“Well, that's great, you're a perfect match. Ralph with 'ph' and Christoph with 'ph'. You couldn't have made it any better than that.“
A slight smile spread across two rather stressed faces. Ralph looked at me questioningly.
”What should we do now?"
I thought for a moment.
“Is there another way out of your room than through the large corridor? A back exit maybe?“
”No. I mean, there is a back exit, but to get to it, we'd still have to go downstairs and past the living room first.“
”Hm. What about the window, any way to get down safely?”
We were on the first floor, but maybe there was something like a flower trellis or something like that.
"Under my window is the entrance to the underground car park, no chance of getting down safely.”
Damn. I was slowly running out of ideas. In the meantime, the doorbell had rung several more times, and more and more guests were arriving. And Katja had surely already told everyone that she had caught her brother “engaged in immoral activities.” Any attempt to smuggle the two lovers out of the house discreetly was doomed to failure.
“Have you ever thought about your coming out? If not, now would be a good time to start.“
”You can't be serious! That would be the end of us!“
”Well, it wasn't the end for me. And practically everyone out there knows about me.“
”Don't worry, my sister will make sure I survive this.”
“Does anyone know about you two?“
”My parents.“
Those were the first words I heard from Ralph's friend.
”That you're gay or that you're dating?“
”Both.“
This answer seemed to surprise Ralph a lot.
”What? You told your parents? Why?”
“I couldn't do it any other way. They've known for a while that I'm into boys, well, and since I've been hanging around with you so much lately, they put two and two together and asked me about it. I wouldn't have told them on my own, but I just couldn't lie to them. Will you forgive me?”
He stared at his friend with wide eyes that simply had to be forgiven for anything. At least that was how I felt, and Ralph was not spared from this impression either.
“Okay, okay. I'll have to get used to that, though. When did that happen?“
”Two weeks ago, after the weekend you spent at my place.“
”Has it been that long? And your parents never said anything, just smiled at me and treated me like always! They even invited me over for more sleepovers!”
“You see, Ralph, it's not that bad. Your parents haven't had any problems with me either. As I see it, you have only two options: either you leave secretly and silently, in which case you will definitely be noticed. Then the gossip will be huge, and all behind your back, without you being able to defend yourselves. Or you can walk out with your heads held high, say nothing at first about the subject, but if someone asks you about it, you tell the truth. Your decision, but I see no other alternatives.“
The two caught sinners looked at each other silently for a moment. Then they nodded, hugged each other again and stood up. Ralph took the lead.
”Okay, let's do it.”
I stopped them on their way to the door.
“Wait a minute, you should do something about your faces first. You're not exactly presentable right now. The bathroom is just across the hall, right?”
“Right.”
“Good, wait a moment.”
I stuck my head out of the room door and motioned for Tim to come here.
“Please go to the corner of the corridor and see if the coast is clear."
Tim looked at me questioningly, but then did as I asked. He took a look around the corner and gave me the thumbs up. I opened the door wide and pushed the two love-struck boys into the corridor.
“Come on, get a move on before someone comes. You'll be back here in five minutes, and then we'll take care of the technical stuff. That'll give you a short reprieve."
Ralph and Christoph disappeared into the bathroom, and I could hear the key being turned in the lock. But they could have thought of that before in Ralph's room!
I wandered over to Tim, who was staring at me with wide-open eyes. I grinned and shrugged.
“Did you know about this beforehand or was it a surprise for you, too?”
"I had no idea. But I think they make a cute couple, don't you?”
“Hm. In any case, they were lucky that you were the one to surprise them.”
We stood on the corner for a while and I explained to Tim how things would proceed, then we heard the key again and the bathroom door opened. The two boys dashed back to Ralph's room, and I followed them, pulling Tim along with me. When we arrived in the room, Ralph and Chris were sitting close together on the bed, but when they saw Tim, they immediately moved apart. I couldn't help grinning.
“Just stay like that, Tim's cool.”
Ralph looked at Tim questioningly.
“Is he your... your boyfriend?”
"My future brother. He knows about me, and now about you too. Right, we should get the technology up and running. That is, if you still want to provide it after all this.”
“Do I have a choice?“
”Yes. Just say no and I'll back off.“
”I believe you. But that wouldn't be such a good idea, either. I can't afford to make all those people down there angry with me. Let's get started.”
There wasn't much to do. The biggest problem was that, as usual, all the necessary jacks and plugs were located in the most inaccessible places. Just as I had plugged in the last connection, there was a knock at the door, it opened and Thomas entered.
“Katja sent me to find out what the situation is regarding the music. And I'd like to see the girl who turned little Casanova's head.“
Thomas looked around the room, but couldn't see any female presence.
”What, did you guys smuggle the girl out already? Good work, Katja will flip when she finds out.”
The four of us looked at each other, the corners of our mouths twitched, then we started laughing out loud. Even the two caught up joined in. Thomas, on the other hand, stood in the room completely baffled and didn't understand what was going on.
“Uh, could someone fill me in?”
"But that would actually be a job for your parents, don't you think?”
Thomas shot me a slightly offended look. Well, I didn't want to let him die a stupid death.
“Thomas, this is Tim next to me. We've already talked about him.”
"Ah yes, nice to meet you. It was a good idea of you to bring him to the party, you've killed two birds with one stone. So, who's that next to Ralph?”
Katja's brother took Chris's hand, summoned all his courage and answered Thomas.
“This is Christoph. He's the one who turned my head.”
Thomas gasped for air like a carp on dry land.
“I... I... I don't believe it. Danny has been looking for his prince charming for years, and these two little snotty-nosed brats are a couple?"
His expression revealed that he found the whole thing funny.
“Congratulations, you two. Ralph, I hope you realize that when this gets out, half the girls in your grade will be severely depressed.”
I had to agree with him; both Ralph and his friend were extremely handsome. If they weren't a bit too young for me, I would probably kick myself now for not trying to get close to Katja's little brother earlier. Thomas brought me back to reality with his next question.
"And how do you want to proceed from here?”
Together we explained to him how we envisioned the matter progressing. Thomas made a serious face and nodded in agreement at the end of our explanations.
“Danny's right, that's the best solution. I don't think you need to be afraid, the people here are all handpicked. We've been making sure for a long time that only people who don't have a problem with Danny show up at our parties. It would be stupid if, in the middle of the best mood, such an intolerant asshole started to mess with one of our best friends.”
Well, that was news to me. And I had sometimes wondered a little why everything had always gone so smoothly. No one had ever looked at me askance at such festivities, and those who had made stupid comments at school had, strangely enough, never shown up. Why that was so became clear to me all of a sudden – and at the same moment I realized that I had even better friends than I had ever dared to hope for.
"Danny, here are a few CDs, you'd better put on the music before angry crowds make their way up here. In the meantime, I'll show Tim around and introduce him to everyone.”
With these words, Thomas pushed a bag full of CDs into my hand, grabbed my bewildered future stepbrother and pulled him out of the room. Okay, if he says so. I reached into the bag and took out the CDs, a colorful mix that went up and down the charts of recent years.
"Ralph, this is your stereo, so you're stocking it too.”
He nodded. While plugging in the cables, I saw that he had a 5-disc changer – once loaded, we would have peace (and music) for a long time. Three minutes later, the first track sounded, and we decided to go into the lion's den. But before we left the room, I had to get something off my chest.
“Listen, guys, I hope I'm not offending you, but... you know about safe sex, right?"
The color that came to their faces would have done credit to a Dutch greenhouse tomato. A bashful nod was their answer.
“Well, that's good. I just wanted to make sure you didn't do anything stupid. Come on, let's go downstairs. And remember, just mingle with the guests as if nothing had happened.“
”Okay. And Danny? Thanks.“
”My pleasure. Let's go!”
Pushing the hesitant couple in front of me, I made my way downstairs, where the festivities were slowly getting underway. Among the guests, I spotted Thomas's oldest sister, who was just the right age for my two charges. I didn't know if they already knew each other, but that would become clear. With gentle pressure, I steered Ralph and Christoph in the desired direction.
“Hello Caren, did you manage to persuade Thomas to bring you along again?“
”Hi Danny, well, you know that he can't refuse me anything. By the way, this is Patrick, my boyfriend. Patrick, this is Danny. He's the one who has the unpleasant task of keeping Thomas out of trouble.”
I had to grin, that was actually true, well, at least there was a grain of truth in it. Thomas sometimes had such strange impulses; for example, he had once managed to insult three bald guys who had pushed him more or less accidentally. Fortunately, I was there to mediate. All I can say is: karate. Fortunately, this had happened on a school trip, otherwise it could have had unpleasant consequences. But back to the current event. A boy with fiery red hair held out his hand to me.
"You certainly have your hands full. At least if you believe what Caren said about her brother.”
“It's not quite that bad. By the way, this is Ralph and Christoph. Ralph is in the unfortunate position of being Katja's brother. Or do you already know each other?“
”I've seen Ralph before, but I don't know Christoph. You don't go to our school, do you?“
”No, I go to the same school as Patrick. We already know each other.”
The two lovers were obviously in good hands, so I could slowly pull away.
"Well, have fun, I'll take a walk around the house.”
I moved away, trying to locate Tim in the crowd that was getting denser. Ah yes, there he was, at the other end of the living room, where Thomas was just introducing him to a group of our friends. Tim seemed to be quite comfortable, and I decided to leave him in Thomas' care for a little longer. I began to feel my stomach growl, so I made my way to the feeding trough. Halfway there, however, I was intercepted by our hostess and her friend. I greeted Karsten and tried to make a quick getaway, but I had reckoned without Katja.
"Stay here! Where do you think you're going in such a hurry?”
“To the kitchen, if you don't mind. The forced labor you've sentenced me to has made me quite hungry. So if you'll excuse me...“
”No way! You still owe me a few answers. So, who was the chick that was hitting on my little brother?”
“You'd better ask him yourself. By the way, who have you told already?“
”Just Thomas and Karsten. And Jürgen. And Lisa.“
”No one else?“
”No! But why do you want to know?”
Hm, that sounded better than I had feared. If I hurried, I would be able to get rid of all of them in time – before there was a big bang.
“Katja, I'm being completely serious about what I'm about to say. I want it to stay with just those few people, understood?”
"Well, since when did you take such an interest in my brother?”
“Did you hear me?“
Katja must have seen that this matter was really important to me and that I was deadly serious.
”Yes, yes, all right, I understand. I promise.“
”Good. Karsten?“
”I'm staying out of this completely. I don't care what the little heartbreaker has done, I'm not telling anyone anything.”
“Very well. I have to go on.“
For the moment, my protesting stomach was forgotten, and I went in search of the co-conspirators mentioned by Katja. During a little round, I spotted Lisa, who was distributing drinks with her friend Mike. I pushed my way to them.
”Hello Lisa, Mike.“
”Danny, hello, what can we offer you?”
“Nothing for the moment, thanks. Mike, can I borrow your girlfriend for a moment?“
”Go ahead, I'll be fine on my own. It's not like I have to worry about you.“
”Don't be so sure, maybe I've just discovered my bisexual side."
I pulled a bewildered Lisa into a slightly quieter corner.
“I heard Katja tell you that we caught her brother at, well, at a kind of tryst.“
”Yes, she did, and I think she should have kept it to herself. I certainly didn't want to know, and I hope you don't plan on spreading it around either.”
It's nice when you turn out to have judged someone right.
"Don't worry, I was just about to persuade you not to tell anyone. That doesn't seem necessary now.”
“You can count on that. The poor boy is punished enough with Katja as a sister. But on a different note: Thomas was with us earlier and introduced us to your future brother. God, he's so cute! And so shy. Knowing you, you fell for him immediately."
Great, now it was my turn to blush.
“Am I that easy to see through?“
”Only for us who know and love you. Besides, I can understand it with Tim, heck, I might even go weak with him. If you ever tell Mike, I'll firmly claim never to have said it!”
“Too late, I've got it all on tape for later blackmail attempts. Well, I have to go and do some damage control. Save me something nice, something nice to drink, I mean.”
I left Lisa to her own devices and took another look around at the crowd. There must have been fifty or more people there by now, and I decided not to volunteer to clean up after the party this time. Just as I was on my way to the kitchen to find Jürgen, someone tugged at my arm from behind. I turned around to see Thomas and Tim standing in front of me. The former spoke to me.
“So, there you have your brother again. I showed him around a bit, but now I want to start looking for a girlfriend for the evening. So if you'll excuse me..."
And he wanted to slip away, but I stopped him briefly.
“Thomas, you can go in a minute, but just one thing first. Katja has only told you, Karsten, Lisa and Jürgen about what happened earlier. I'm in the process of sealing everyone's lips, so please shut up too, okay?“
”All right, I'll keep quiet like a grave.“
”Good, buzz off.”
He was gone, and I was left alone with Tim. He seemed quite pleased.
"Well, little brother, how do you like it? Do you regret coming with me?”
“No, I don't. The people are nice, the music is good, and somehow I'm slowly realizing what I've been missing for the last two or three years."
Well, that was quite a different impression from the pile of self-doubt I met earlier in the day.
“Very well. Listen, I have to shut up one more person, and it just so happens that this person works in the kitchen and I urgently need something to eat anyway. Are you coming with me or do you want to keep mingling?“
”I'll come with you. First of all, I'm hungry too, and secondly, I don't want to walk around all alone. Of course, only if I'm not a burden to you.”
“Don't worry, you won't. Come on, this way."
There was no missing the way to the kitchen; the aroma of steaks and sausages practically dragged me in the right direction. When we arrived, we saw Jürgen loading a large electric grill with lots of good things. Unfortunately, there were also a handful of other guests in the kitchen, and I had to get rid of them first.
“Good evening, everyone. Hygiene inspection. If everyone except the cook would please leave the kitchen. Hurry, hurry!“
The unwanted listeners grumbled quietly and left – I really couldn't take such trifles into consideration.
Jürgen grinned at me expectantly.
”Greetings, keeper of the meat pot!”
“Greetings to you, too, O master of good manners!“
We had once appeared together as Roman senators in a school play – a thing we always enjoyed reminiscing about.
”So, Mr. Hygiene Inspector, what can I do for you? And who is that next to you?“
”That's Tim, my brother.”
“Nice to meet you. But why did you send everyone out, surely not just to introduce me to Tim and reminisce?“
”You got me pegged. Listen, Katja told you something about Ralph earlier...”
“Don't even remind me of that! That old chatterbox never knows when it's better to shut up. If we were to tell everyone everything we've experienced with her, we could write entire TV series about it.“
”So can I assume that you have not spoken to anyone about this and will not speak to anyone about it?”
“Absolutely. What Ralph does is his business, and Katja is the last person who should play the moralizer here.“
”Very good. Now that the business matters have been clarified: what nice things can you offer us to eat?”
Jürgen had once again cleared out his parents' butcher shop. (By the way, you could clearly see his parents' profession in Jürgen, but he was a sweetheart and always overlooked the occasional teasing about his body shape with boundless generosity. As a friend, he was one of those rare specimens you could rely on one hundred and ten percent.) Three minutes later, Tim and I were sitting at the kitchen table, tucking into two plates full of meat and sausage.
“Inspector, may I let the other customers in now?”
"Be it allowed.”
The rest of the party went as usual: lots of music, dancing, more or less meaningful conversations, good food, more or less substantial drinks. With the exception of two glasses of beer, I stuck to non-alcoholic drinks, and Tim also lived very solidly in this regard. My intention to look for handsome boys had been pushed into the background by the events of the evening, and I didn't really feel like it anymore anyway. The party had degenerated into hard work.
At some point in the middle of the festivities, Katja pulled me into a small storage room. I had a vague feeling of knowing exactly what was going to happen now.
“Danny, damn it, you should have told me!“
”What?“
”About Ralph and his... his friend! How am I going to look now!“
”What do you mean, how are you going to look now? Is it so bad that your brother likes boys? Surprise: me too! That hasn't bothered you before.”
“I'm not bothered by the fact that Ralph is gay either. Well, not particularly. But Christoph was supposed to spend the night at his place, and now I have to see how I can fix it. You don't happen to have his parents' phone number?“
”Man, Katja, I just met him too! And what do you need the number for anyway?”
“Well, I have to call them to come and get him! There's no way he can spend the night here!“
”Nonsense. When you were fifteen, friends of yours would spend the night, with the knowledge and approval of your parents.“
”But that was different!“
”Was it? Well, I can't see any difference. It's even perfectly legal.”
“And what about our parents? How am I supposed to explain that to them?“
”You don't have to explain anything to them, if at all, that's something Ralph has to do. As long as you don't blabber, your brother just has a friend over, and that's really not the first time. When the two of them are ready, they'll talk to your parents on their own.”
“And I'm supposed to just grin and bear it?“
”First of all, I don't see any bad game, and secondly, how often did Ralph have to watch your conquests suddenly sitting at the breakfast table?”
“Fine, fine! Whatever you say! But I disclaim any responsibility. If something comes out of this and my parents cause trouble, I'll tell them it's all your fault! Now I have to take care of my guests again!"
Wow, she was really steamed. Anyway, I wasn't going to let her lousy mood ruin my evening.
Around midnight, everyone started to leave, and half an hour later only the volunteers of the clean-up crew were left. Although Katja and Ralph's parents generously allowed such parties from time to time, they demanded that when they arrived – which would be around two o'clock – there should be peace and quiet and the worst of the mess should have been cleared up. Lisa, Mike and Jürgen took care of the kitchen and dishes, Thomas, who had spent the second half of the evening with a girl from our parallel class, struggled with the vacuum cleaner, and some others moved furniture. Tim and I dismantled the radio receivers, but Ralph and Christoph were nowhere to be seen.
The first bag was full, only the transmitter from Ralph's room was missing. I went upstairs, and mindful of the afternoon's experiences, I knocked softly on the door this time. No answer. I knocked a little louder – again without result. So I pushed down the door handle, half expecting it to be locked, but no, the door opened. The two missing boys were lying on the bed, peacefully slumbering and snuggled up to each other in full gear. A cute sight. I decided to do without dismantling the transmitter, which would have made too much noise and certainly woken them up. Instead, I just switched off the hi-fi system and then looked again at the two boys, amused. Although I didn't want to disturb them, I decided to at least carefully take off their shoes. When that was done, I took the blanket lying on the floor and spread it over them both. Finally, I stroked Ralph and Chris's hair briefly, whispered “Sleep well” and then crept out of the room. Tim was waiting for me at the door. I grinned, put my index finger to my lips and quietly closed the door behind me.
“Well, I think we should start heading home soon. I'll get the transmitter back tomorrow.“
Tim looked at me penetratingly, his head cocked slightly to the side.
”Danny?“
”Yes?“
”I think you're the best big brother I could ever wish for."
If this were a real love story, I would be moved to tears. Ahem, to be honest, I was really on the verge of doing so. But I just managed to swallow it all down and point Tim towards the stairs with a generous gesture. Downstairs, we said goodbye to those still present, I impressed on Katja to leave the boys in peace upstairs, then we got dressed and wandered through the dark, freezing night towards home.
We were both very happy when we reached the entrance of the well-heated house! Who ordered this freezing cold? Ten minutes past one, I locked the front door from the inside, and we peeled off our jackets, scarves, gloves, etc. Tim stared at the bag of technology.
“Do we have to set this up again now?“
”Nah, the transmitter's still missing anyway, and who knows when my mom will show up here again.“
”Thank God.“
”I assume you want to go to bed right away?”
“To be honest, I'd rather quickly jump back into the shower. My clothes and my hair smell of cigarette smoke, and I've sweated quite a bit too."
Tim had danced a few times with different girls, and indeed an awful lot had been smoked, as I could tell from a quick sniff test on my fleece shirt.
“Right. That's a really good idea. This time you can start, not that you have to wait for me forever again.“
We walked up the stairs, Tim disappeared into the bathroom, and after a short time I heard the water rushing. I went to my closet and picked out a pair of really warm pajamas. At that same moment, the phone rang.
”Thom.”
“Hello Danny, it's me, Mom.“
As if I didn't recognize her voice.
”Hello Mom. Well, how was your evening without us pests?“
”I almost said 'boring,' but of course that's not true. We really had a few nice hours. I hope you did too? Did everything go well?”
“Of course. Tim seems to have enjoyed it too, and he made a few new friends.“
”Reinhardt will be relieved to hear that. Wait, he's standing right next to me. He would like to talk to Tim, can you hand him the phone?“
”I'm sorry, he's just in the shower. Can I take a message?”
“Oh no, that's not necessary. He probably just wanted to hear from him himself how he was doing.“
”Tell him not to worry. So, what time should we expect you tomorrow? Do you have any special plans?”
“Knowing you, you probably want to sleep in, and Reinhardt says that Tim isn't averse to a sleepy morning either, so we thought we'd pick you up around half past eleven and go somewhere for lunch together. Agreed?”
“Sure.“
Just at that moment, the bathroom door opened and Tim came into the room wearing only a towel.
”Mom, hold on. Is Reinhardt still around?“
”Yes, why?“
”Tim just got out of the bath, I'll give him the phone.”
I handed the phone to Tim, grabbed my pajamas and retreated to the bathroom so I couldn't hear what Tim was discussing with his father. When I left the bathroom ten minutes later, ready for bed, Tim was already in bed.
"So, everything okay with your old man?”
“Yes, everything's fine. He thanked me for the nice evening. Rather for being allowed to spend it alone with Maria.“
”Maybe we should get separate apartments, us two here, the two of them at your place.“
”Oh no. It's nice to be alone for a while, but in the long run I'd probably miss Dad.”
“I feel the same way about Mom. Did he explain the plans for tomorrow...“ I looked at the clock, ‘I meant for today?’
”He did. So we can sleep a little longer.“
”You can, but I still have to do something first.“
”What?”
“I still have to pick up the transmitter from Katja. I'll arrange to be at her place around half past ten, at eleven. That way I'll have enough time to dismantle everything and still be back here in time.“
”Do you mind if I come with you?”
“Not at all. But then we have to get up at half past nine to have a quick breakfast beforehand.“
”No problem. Will you set an alarm?“
”I'm just doing that."
When that was done, I reached for the light switch, turned off the lights and then carefully walked to my bed. On the way there, I stopped at the window.
“Do you mind if I tilt the window slightly? I sleep better with fresh air. If it gets too cold, we can always close it again.“
”No problem, I can't sleep with the window closed either. I always find it terrible when I can't open it during a storm or heavy rain.”
There he was, completely on my wavelength. When I arrived at my bed, I settled down comfortably, stretched out and snuggled into the warm duvet.
“Good night, Tim.”
"Good night, Danny. And thanks for convincing me to come along.”
“My pleasure. So sleep well and fast.“
”I hate you!"
Help! What an awful sound! After a brief period of disorientation, which was not surprising for someone who had just been woken from the deepest sleep, I turned off my radio alarm clock as the source of all evil. If I had any say in the matter, the radio editor who had dug up this old Tic-Tac-Toe piece would lose his job right now.
With a well-aimed blow, I silenced the source of the noise. A glance at the other bed showed that Tim had reacted similarly to me and was sitting upright in bed with sleepy eyes.
“Did you have to do that, Danny?“
”Sorry. Next time I'll plug in headphones and sleep with them.“
”Hey, I didn't mean it like that!“
”I know you didn't. What do you say, you want the bathroom first?“
”You just want me to be the first to get out of bed and close the window!”
“Exactly! Besides, you can turn on the heat while you're at it. After all, what does one have a little brother for?“
Tim resigned himself to his fate, pushed his blanket off, sat on the edge of the bed and slipped into his slippers.
”Argh! They're freezing!“
”Now you know why I sleep with socks.”
“Thanks for letting me know in time.“
”No problem."
He put on his socks, got up, closed the window, turned up the heat, grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom – pleased to find that it was already comfortably heated. I, for my part, lay back down and let the events of the last day pass in review again. It had certainly been one of the most interesting days of my life so far. Most important of course was Tim, even though I was in quite a dilemma in this regard. On the one hand, I enjoyed my role as a big brother and assumed (probably not wrongly) that we would both become close friends very quickly – if we weren't already. On the other hand, there was of course also my other side, the one that longed for even more and different attention. My grandma had always said “There's a lid to fit every pot,” but no matter how hard I had looked so far, I hadn't come across mine yet. And now fate suddenly threw someone at my feet who could have sprung straight from my imaginary dream boy catalog – and it's my future little brother, of all people! The difficult-to-interpret signals from Tim in this regard didn't help me sort out my feelings either.
Then, of course, there was the discovery of Ralph and Christoph. It had always been clear to me that, from a purely statistical point of view, there had to be other boys in my environment who felt the same way I did, but I never thought that they would be so close and that I would be able to discover them personally. The stupid thing is that the more I thought about the two of them, the more jealous I became of their shared happiness. Damn, wouldn't I have been there first? After all, with my two-year age gap, I had the “older rights.”
Tim's reappearance in the room startled me out of my musings. He stood there in his blue thermal underwear and held the clothes he had worn to the party far away from him.
"This stuff still smells like smoke.”
“Throw the stuff in the laundry box in the bathroom, my mom will wash them.“
”Do you think so? I can also take them home with me.“
”Then your bag will also stink afterwards.“
”Right. Thanks.“
Tim threw the aforementioned things to my dirty laundry.
”That's it, the bathroom is all yours.”
The time had come. There were no more excuses now, I had to leave my nice, warm bed. Fortunately, the room was now reasonably warm. So I dangled my feet over the edge of the bed, got up and marched into the bathroom with more momentum than I would have dared after last night. After a quarter of an hour, I had finished everything, got partially dressed and went back to the room, where Tim was still sitting on his bed in the same clothes as before, browsing through one of my books.
"I thought I wouldn't get fully dressed yet, we surely want to have breakfast first before we have to leave, right?”
“Right thought. I practically always walk around the house like this in winter. It's more practical than constantly changing clothes. So let's see what we can fill our stomachs with.”
When we arrived in the kitchen, we decided on baked baguettes. While I started the oven and loaded it, I verbally maneuvered Tim through the depths of our kitchen cabinets so that he could set the table. Then I went to the refrigerator and inspected the jam supplies.
“Tim, what would you like? Strawberry jam, plum jam or Nutella?“
”Nutella.“
”A chocolate child. Sweet.“
”There must be another one of those here, otherwise you wouldn't have the stuff around, would you?"
Oops, I gave myself away. Quickly switch to a different topic.
“What do you want to drink? Coffee, tea, cocoa?“
”Cocoa, if it's not too much work. I can't stand coffee.“
Another thing we have in common. Normally I would have tea, but I decided not to make a big deal about it and just go with Tim's choice.
”So cocoa. No problem.”
A few minutes later we were sitting across from each other, chewing, and I soon realized that one of my mother's worst fears would come true. She would get another eater of my caliber in the house. I ate a lot, but Tim practically inhaled his breakfast. I was starting to worry that I had miscalculated the amount I had prepared.
“Uh, Tim, do you want me to throw some baguettes in the oven for you?"
He paused briefly in his chewing, took a quick glance at the available supplies, and then shook his head. Phew, that was a close call. I made a mental note to ask him beforehand how much he intended to eat in the future.
I leaned back comfortably and watched Tim as he followed the baguettes with a large glass of hot cocoa in one go. When he put it down and looked at me full and satisfied, the corners of my mouth twitched involuntarily upwards.
"What is it?”
“There's a mirror over there. See for yourself.“
Tim got up, went to the mirror, looked in and then licked the cocoa off his upper lip.
”Exactly these drops I had already missed.”
Well, that's it, now I had to snort out loud. Laughing, we then removed the traces of our breakfast, then went back upstairs and got dressed. The thermometer showed 6 degrees below zero, and thick snow clouds were hanging in the sky. Tim quickly packed his bag so that he only had to grab it later, then we set off for Katja's. The way there was uneventful, except for the fact that Tim slipped on a snow-covered, icy puddle, clung to me in his search for support, and in doing so caused us both to fall. Cursing and shifting our bones back into the right places, we got up, knocking a lot of snow off our clothes.
“Listen, I thought you gave up jumping in puddles?“
”Sorry, it's just in my blood. But at least the water was in a solid state, so it shouldn't have scared you too much. No danger of drowning in it. That's progress, isn't it?”
Oh yes. By the way, is a big brother allowed to take his cheeky little brother over his knee? On the other hand, I was glad that he had abandoned some of his reserve and shyness.
With our senses heightened, we managed to cover the rest of the way without further incidents or mishaps. I rang the doorbell, and shortly afterwards a tall, blonde woman opened the door for us.
"Danny, how nice, we were hoping to see you today. And this must be your brother, we've heard about him too.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Maurer. That's right, this is Tim. We're here to pick up the rest of my equipment. I didn't get around to it last night.“
”No problem. Come in.“
We entered the house and took off our shoes.
”Are you in a hurry, or do you have a few minutes? We'd like to discuss something with you.”
I looked at my watch. We were well on schedule.
“No problem. If it doesn't take too long.”
“Definitely not. Come with me to the living room.”
We followed her into the room, where her husband was already sitting. After a general greeting, they escorted us to two chairs. There was a brief silence between us, then Mrs. Maurer spoke again.
“Danny, do you have any idea what we found tonight when we took a quick look into Ralph's room to see if everything was okay?"
Oh dear, I actually had a pretty good idea. The Maurers immediately recognized the look of shock on my face, and theirs changed to a smile.
“So you know what I'm talking about. Listen, we only invited you in here to thank you. The boys told us earlier what you did for them, and Katja also reported, a little indignant, how you took responsibility for her.“
”So they have no problem with it?”
“But of course not!” The laughter lines on Mr. Maurer's face came into action. ”We've had a hunch for a few days. We drove past the movie theater, and now guess who was standing there holding hands in line at the box office. Very conspicuously inconspicuous, of course. However, we wanted to give them the time and the opportunity to decide for themselves when they wanted to tell us something.”
“So you didn't mention last night's somewhat unusual sleeping arrangements to them today either?“
”No, we really didn't. After we saw the two of them clinging to each other, we immediately decided not to say a word about it. Well, and today at breakfast they came out with it on their own.”
I was relieved. It seemed as if everything concerning Ralph and Christoph was on its way to a happy ending.
"By the way, they couldn't remember taking off their shoes or covering up. Do you have any idea who intervened?”
I smiled at Ralph's parents, but at the same time I wondered how such a brat as Katja could have grown up in their care.
“When I went to get the transmitter, I found more or less the same scene as you did tonight. It looked so peaceful that I didn't have the heart to disturb them, so I just did what I was sure wouldn't wake them, and then I quietly left.”
“That was really nice of you, we think you helped the boys a lot. We're so glad you stumbled across them and not Katja. She can be a little... well, she's not particularly sensitive.”
Not particularly sensitive! This description easily qualified for the Understatement of the Century Award. Just using her name and the word “sensitive” in the same sentence grossly violated the rules of the new spelling.
“So, as I said, we wanted to thank you. Uh, I hope I'm not offending you, but I'd really like to know if... well, if you've found a boyfriend yet. He would be very lucky.“
”Well, I'm still single. You don't happen to have another son around Katja's age who looks like Ralph and has his personality?”
The two laughed, and Mrs. Maurer shook her head regretfully.
“We're really sorry, we don't. Otherwise, you would be very welcome as a son-in-law.”
“Too bad. But there's nothing we can do about it.” I looked at my watch. “Now Tim and I should slowly take care of the technology, our parents will pick us up at half past twelve for lunch together.”
“Oh, go ahead, we don't want to keep you unnecessarily. But... uh... maybe you'd better knock when you're upstairs."
I had learned that lesson. We rose, and shortly thereafter we stood in front of the famous room door. I knocked, and we were immediately invited to enter. Ralph and Christoph were sitting on the bed holding the controllers of a Playstation in their hands. They had interrupted the game when I knocked, and now they looked at us with wide eyes and blushed a little again. Then a mischievous smile broke out on their faces.
“Well you two, sleep well?”
I just couldn't resist that now.
"Yes.”
Oh, they even answered in stereo! Ah, love must be beautiful!
“Danny, we have to... ‘
’Stop! Not another word! My capacity for thanks has been pretty much exhausted.”
“Who told you that we wanted to thank you?”
That was Chris, this time all alone. And Ralph felt compelled to continue.
“We actually wanted to complain that you just turned off the music last night. Turning it down would have been enough.”
“And thanks is the world's reward. Won't happen again. So, while I'm shutting down the station, you can show Tim your toy.” Whether he was interested in it, I didn't know, but suddenly I didn't have the strength to continue talking to this contented, happy couple. It reminded me too much of what I lacked myself.
Five minutes later, everything was safely stowed in the bag we had brought with us, we said goodbye to the two young lovers, walked downstairs, checked out of Ralph's parents' house and were back at my place shortly after. We used the next quarter of an hour to put the technology back where it belonged, and no sooner had we finished than the horn was already honking outside the front door. We put on shoes and jackets, left and locked the house and got into Tim's father's waiting Chrysler.
The reunion between Reinhardt and his son was tremendous, that between my mother and me... well, it was definitely there. The two “old guys” immediately grilled us about the previous evening (as true gentlemen, we of course left out the topic of Ralph and Christoph) and were very pleased to learn that we had actually “clobbered” each other well. You could almost hear a relay clicking in their brains, triggering the action “switch to next family reunion stage”. As soon as we arrived at the restaurant (an Italian restaurant again, for some reason the Bergners seemed to like it – not that I was complaining), my mother started to lay out her plans for the further integration of the families in front of Tim and me.
“Boys, we were thinking that it would be quite nice if we all went somewhere together over Christmas and New Year. As a real family.“
Tim jumped at the idea.
”Great. To the Alps, to go skiing!”
I slumped in my chair and made a pained face. Actually, it was cold enough for me here. And I really didn't like those treacherous, slippery wooden boards. I could already see myself in the hospital with broken legs for the holidays. Reinhardt seemed to have noticed my skepticism.
“We'll see. We'll think of something that we'll all like. I already have an idea.” His words were accompanied by a mysterious smile.
That ended the discussion, and dinner was soon on the table. For the first time, my mother had the pleasure of watching Tim eat a normal meal that was not dictated by competitions. While Tim was devouring a pizza the size of a cartwheel, my mother's face grew longer and longer. She cast a doubting glance first at Tim's plate, then at her usual salad bowl, and then shook her head in resignation.
“Tell me, Reinhardt, how come the boys can eat as much as they want without it showing on them! I count every single calorie and still don't lose weight. Tim, where do you eat it all?"
She had asked me this question often enough, and now she got an answer from my little brother that she had also heard from me.
“No idea. Hollow legs?"
If he had any, they were now being filled at a tremendous speed, and before my mother had even finished half of her salad, Tim's plate was empty. Mine too, by the way. All in all, there were four rather satisfied people sitting at the table.
During the meal, we talked about what we could do with the day, but unfortunately my severe headache put paid to the plans (which ranged from Christmas market to sauna). It had hit me out of the blue, and I hadn't even had a sip of the glass of wine that our old friends Tim and I had bought to celebrate the day. My mother was the first to notice my pain-distorted face.
“Danny, what's the matter, you suddenly look so pale.”
"Nothing serious, I just have a killer headache all of a sudden.”
My mother immediately switched to her “poor-me-mode,” and ten minutes later we were on our way home. By the time we got there, I felt as if a hundred dwarfs were playing bowling in my skull. And the brothers always hit the bull's-eye! I was really surprised, because I couldn't explain it. I definitely didn't have a hangover, and headaches were actually quite unheard of. Anyway, my mother immediately put me to bed at home, gave me two painkillers and then wanted to send Reinhardt and Tim away.
"I'm sorry, but as you can see, I have to take care of Danny.”
I really couldn't let that happen. It was enough that I was out of action, the other three didn't need to suffer because of me. I managed to convince my mother that her presence was not necessary and that I could suffer just fine alone. After she had asked half a dozen times whether she could really leave me alone, Reinhardt pulled her out of my room by the arm. All three wished me a speedy recovery and then set off for the Christmas market. I lay back in bed and tried to find a position for my head in which the pain was somewhat bearable.
Apparently the pills had actually worked, because at some point I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up, it was already dark outside the window. The headache was gone and had given way to a dull feeling, which, although not pleasant, was much easier to bear. I carefully sat up, and when I didn't feel any negative reactions from my body, I decided to see if I still had the house to myself.
Of course I hadn't. It was almost seven, and my mother had been back for a while, pottering around in the kitchen – extra quietly so as not to disturb me. I went to the kitchen table and sat down on a chair with a sigh.
“Danny, there you are. How are you, is the pain gone?”
"I'm okay again. At least it doesn't hurt anymore.”
“Do you have any idea what got you? Did you maybe drink too much yesterday?“
”Mom, I just had two beers! If it had been too much, it would have hit me right away and not waited until we were comfortably sitting at lunch. So, on to another topic, how was your afternoon?”
“Really nice. We wandered from stall to stall for three hours, taking it easy. We tried everything: waffles, roasted almonds, candied apples, cotton candy, mulled wine, etc. Just thinking about it makes me dread stepping on the scales tomorrow morning.“
”And did you at least get me something?”
My mother smiled at me and took a large paper bag out of the kitchen cupboard.
“Here, I know exactly what you're after.”
I was found out. A Maxi bag of roasted almonds, my teeth were already grinding in barely restrained anticipation.
“Agreed?”
"Absolutely. Thank you.”
“Oh, that reminds me: Reinhardt also sent you something."
She disappeared for a moment and then reappeared with something huge and fluffy in her hands. It took me a while to figure out what it was, then it dawned on me. A giant stuffed dog stared at me with button eyes the size of five-mark pieces.
“My God, where did you get that from?”
“Reinhardt drew 'free choice' twice at a lottery booth, and so he asked me what would make you happy. Since you like dogs, I suggested this little animal to him. Tim got a bear that was at least as big. You should have seen the two of them dragging the creatures across the market to the car, because they get pretty heavy over time!”
I could well imagine that. According to the unofficial teenage codex, I was way too old for stuffed animals, but I still appreciated the gesture. Besides, my room was big enough – though I couldn't quite imagine where Tim was going to put his bear in his small room. I decided to thank his father profusely at the next opportunity.
“So, my boy, what about it? Do you feel like some supper?”
I listened to myself. I didn't really have an opinion on the subject. But before I woke up in the middle of the night with a growling stomach, I let myself be talked into a few slices of toast. Afterwards, I said goodbye for the night and went to bed at a time on this Sunday that I would have heroically protested against even at the tender age of ten in my normal state. The huge plush dog found its place on the bed of Thomas/Tim.
Monday. I hate Mondays. At least those that are not distinguished by falling on a holiday or during the holidays. I went with the Boomtown Rats: “I wanna shoot the whole day down.” But it didn't help, there were still a few days to go before the Christmas holidays.
The pain dwarfs in my head had left me in peace, but I had a slight feeling that my head was wrapped in cotton wool. I was awake, but I wasn't really present. Instinctively, I worked through the morning checklist, ate a breakfast that normally wouldn't have been enough to fill even one of my cavities, and then, to my mother's concerned looks, I made my way to the building that euphemistically bore the name “high school” – instead of being more truthfully known as “dungeon”.
As usual, I met up with Thomas and a few others, most of whom had also been at the party and didn't show any of the symptoms I was suffering from – so food poisoning could probably be ruled out. It quickly became apparent that I was not a good companion that day, and some were also seriously concerned about my unnatural pallor. But what the heck, I just had to get through it.
The first two hours were reasonably bearable; they passed by without me really noticing much of them – actually a blessing. Later, my headache from the day before returned, and towards the end of the third hour I was so nauseous that I was only able to prevent a major disaster by sprinting to the toilet. I – excuse me – puked my guts out and was about to collapse in the cubicle. Fortunately, Thomas had followed me unnoticed and now intervened to help and held me upright.
“Man, Danny, what are you doing!"
I would have liked to know that too. After I had recovered a little, I managed with Thomas' help to make my way back to class, where the break had now started. The next lesson was history, and luckily our teacher (unfortunately already of an older vintage) was already present. He looked at Thomas and me, had a brief explanation of what had happened, and then marched straight to the secretary's office, instructing Thomas to take me there very slowly.
I didn't really notice what happened next, they had probably called my mother, and I only came to in our family doctor's office. There I had to endure the usual procedures, among other things the good doctor found out that I had a fever of almost forty. In my head the skittles were rattling again, and I felt generally about as bad as what I had spat out in the toilet before.
My mother had, of course, insisted on being present during the examination and was now really quite worried. I had already indicated at the very beginning that I had already cheated the Grim Reaper once, and since then we had lived in constant fear that the blood cancer could return. My current symptoms were not particularly reassuring. In view of my medical history, the doctor naturally took a great deal of time. She tapped here, listened there, poked there. At the end, she smiled encouragingly at us.
“Young man, I don't think you have much to worry about. I'll have another blood test done, but in my opinion you've caught the flu that's going around where I live at the moment. Did you not get vaccinated?”
Me? I should voluntarily expose myself to a needle? Never! I shook my head violently – and immediately regretted it bitterly. The pain dwarfs stopped bowling and started several huge church bells.
“Which message do you want to hear first, the good or the bad?”
"The bad one.”
“You'll feel really dirty for a few days.“
Great, I couldn't think of anything better.
”And what's the good news?”
“You won't have to go back to school this year."
Well, that was something, at least. The doctor took some blood samples, wrote out a few prescriptions, and then I went home, making a quick stop at the pharmacy. When I arrived home, I went straight to my bed.
Mom soon appeared with various medications. I would seriously like to know who decided that effective medications have to taste awful! But that wasn't the worst yet; that was yet to come. The brave pill-pusher had actually prescribed suppositories for my headache! Eek! The thought of someone fumbling around in my backside was not a pleasant one, at least not if it was your own mother. But I heroically endured that too, then my mother left the room, leaving the door ajar, and after the headache subsided a bit, I dozed off into a fitful sleep.
When I woke up again, my bedclothes were soaked through with sweat, and my watch insisted that it was already shortly after three o'clock in the afternoon. The headache had become a tolerably bearable dull throb, but my throat felt like it had dried up, so I gathered all my strength and called for my mother. I had my doubts as to whether my hoarse croak had reached her, but shortly afterwards she stormed up the stairs and into my room.
“How are you, Danny? Are you all right?”
"I'm getting better. I need something to drink.”
“I'll get you some tea in a minute, you need to take your medicine again anyway. Let me see your forehead. Hm. Not quite as hot anymore, but we'll measure it right away. My God, you're soaking wet! And so are your bedclothes. Look, I'll give you a fresh pair of pajamas to put on, and then you can lie down in the other bed.”
So it was done, and five minutes later I felt a little more comfortable in dry surroundings. With a death-defying courage I swallowed the disgusting medicine, and the tea that was served with it had a very pleasant effect on my throat. Then my mother came in with the clinical thermometer, and I resigned myself to my fate. She didn't think much of taking the temperature in the armpit but insisted on the more traditional method. I think I don't have to go into that here. Anyway, I had just endured the invasion of my posterior realm and was patiently waiting for the result when the doorbell rang.
“Stay there, I'll see who it is.”
As if I were in a position to run away.
A moment later she was back in the room, but she was anything but alone. Reinhardt and Tim pushed through the door behind her and stared in my direction. It took me a moment to realize why they were staring so hard, then I quickly pulled the blanket over my exposed backside with the thermometer sticking out of it. Thanks a lot, Mutsch. She really had a rare talent for putting me in the most embarrassing situations. At that moment, she apparently realized what she had done again.
“Oh God, I'm sorry, Danny, I hadn't even thought about that anymore.”
Reinhardt smiled at me briefly and then grabbed his son.
“Come on, Tim, we'll wait outside for a moment. Let us know when we can come back in."
The two of them left the room, my mother quickly finished what she had so carelessly forgotten, and apologized to me again in a whisper. Well, I had never been able to stay mad at her for long, and this was no exception.
“It's all right. So, how about it, can you fry eggs on me yet?“
”Not anymore. 38.9 – that sounds a little better. Now, get dressed and cover yourself up so I can let your visitors in.”
I had hardly done that when she brought Tim and his father back into the room. How did they actually know about my condition, or had they just come by? I didn't need to ask them this question, because Reinhardt answered it immediately and voluntarily.
“Hello Danny, I'm sorry to show up like this, but when Maria called me and told me what was going on, we thought you might like a little company. Now tell me, what have you been doing?”
I had already heard the last sentence today. From Thomas, if I remembered correctly. Somehow this question from a healthy person to an ill one seemed to be anchored in the human genome. Cut your finger – “What are you doing?” Break your leg – “What are you doing?” Catch the flu – “What are you doing?” Get the neighbor's daughter pregnant – “What are you doing?” Well, at least I would never have to worry about the latter situation. That's how everything in life has its good side.
My mother kindly took on the task of telling the two what had happened since our breakup yesterday afternoon. I was able to spare my voice and enjoyed a little of the concerned attention that the other three showed me. When my mother was finished, I received more sympathetic looks. Reinhardt shook his head sadly.
“I'm really sorry, Danny, and I hope you'll feel better soon. Fortunately, there's still a little time until Christmas, otherwise I would have to...”
He stopped mid-sentence. I really don't like it when you arouse curiosity and then leave us hanging. The other two felt the same way, and my mother fell into her role as the boss interrogator. A role, by the way, that she had perfected.
“What would you have to do?”
Reinhardt hemmed and hawed a little, but then gave in.
“All right, it's not exactly the most appropriate moment, but what the heck. Maybe Danny will take this as an incentive to get better as quickly as possible. I booked a trip for the four of us to Florida for the holidays this morning. I hope you're not angry with me for deciding this all by myself, but it was supposed to be a surprise.”
So he had managed the surprise! I decided to voluntarily take the most disgusting medication without complaining and to endure the most humiliating treatments in order to be fit again in time. I only had to look at the faces of Mom and Tim to get an idea of how surprised and enthusiastic I must have looked myself. It didn't look like anyone wanted to complain to Reinhardt about his solo effort.
The next few minutes passed in animated chatter about how thrilled everyone was with the idea. So the others chattered, I just listened. Tim's eyes lit up with joy, and he could hardly sit still. All of a sudden, my mother put her hands to her face in utter horror.
“My God, I completely forgot that I have to go to Paris for five days tomorrow!”
Oops, she felt the same way I did! I hadn't thought a single word about the fact that she was invited to an international congress of architects. She was even supposed to give a lecture! A great honor that had been bestowed on her for the first time. After a short discussion, we came to the conclusion that she could easily leave me alone for that time – with my current condition, however, the situation had changed drastically.
“I'll call them right now and cancel.“
Great, now I was overcome with guilt because I was making her miss something she had been looking forward to for weeks. It was written all over her face how sad she was, and when she went to pick up my phone, Reinhardt stopped her.
”Wait a minute, Maria. Let's see if we can't find a better solution. I know this is all very sudden, and it would certainly have been nicer to be able to discuss it all in a calmer way, but that can't be helped now. How about Danny coming with us and staying with us while you're in France. He would only be alone for an hour or two at a time, the rest of the time either Tim or I would be with him.”
Reinhardt earned his money as a freelance translator for foreign languages, mainly for specialized books. He was obviously very successful and – what was even more important for this particular case – he worked from home. In my mother's eyes, hope was spreading. Nevertheless, she still had her doubts.
"I don't know, that's a lot to ask of you. He also has to see his doctor again on Thursday.”
“That's not a problem, I can organize my working hours as I need to. We don't have a spare room, but Tim is sure to be willing to sleep on the living room couch for a few days.”
Although the latter nodded in agreement immediately, I decided not to evict him from his cozy room under any circumstances. But I wouldn't burden my mother with that now; there would be plenty of time to sort that out later.
"I still feel uncomfortable with the idea. I mean, Danny is sick and suffering, and I'm enjoying myself in Paris.”
“Spit for me from the Eiffel Tower and you shall be forgiven.“
General laughter.
”You see, Maria, he's making jokes again. You'll see, when you come back he'll be back on his feet. You can also call daily."
He had done it, my mother had been convinced.
“Well, I don't know how I'll ever thank you for this, but if all three of you agree, that's how we'll do it.“
”So that's all settled. What time does your plane leave?“
”7:55.“
”Hm. Then Danny should probably move today. It would be very tight tomorrow morning.”
We had to admit that he was right, though. The idea of having to get out of bed at five or so didn't seem particularly appealing to me. So it was agreed that Reinhardt and Tim would quickly drive home and prepare everything, while mom would pack everything I needed, and I would get dressed at my leisure. And that's exactly how it went.
Right in the middle of our preparations, the medical woman called with the relieving results of my blood tests. All the relevant values were in the ideal range, with no indication of a return of the leukemia. After she had heard this, my mother had to sit down for ten minutes and cry happily. I also felt several degrees better. Anyone who has ever seen a cancer ward from the inside can certainly understand that.
While we were waiting for our private taxi, Thomas called and wanted to know how I had fared. Since my throat was now more or less functioning again, I quickly filled him in on what had happened and would happen, gave him the Bergners' phone number, and he promised to keep me up to date on school. I would also take my Powerbook and modem with me, so I would be able to regularly check my email when I felt like it. If I was allowed to use the Bergners' phone line for it.
At around six, we were picked up by Reinhardt. I was wrapped up even thicker than usual for the few steps to the car and from the car to the Bergner front door, and that means something with me. I guess a sumo wrestler could easily have hidden behind me in this outfit. With arms spread and Prince Charles and glider ears on my shoulders. Fortunately, Reinhardt's car was more spacious than the SLK that my mother had given herself for her last birthday. The Stratus was well heated, so I survived the trip to my temporary home despite an intervening traffic jam. Shortly before seven I entered the room that would be my quarters for the next few days. Reinhardt pointed to Tim's lounger, which was already prepared as a bed.
“Make yourself comfortable, Danny. We'll give you a few minutes so that you can undress in peace. If you need anything, just call."
But before I could start with these tasks, my mother said goodbye to me, half in tears. She was suddenly in a bit of a hurry, no wonder, as she still had a lot to prepare at home for her big trip. She promised to call daily, wished me a speedy recovery and swore me to behave properly. After I had promised her that, she waved goodbye and left.
Now I could change undisturbed. I grabbed the pajamas at the top of my duffel bag and five minutes later my body had returned to its normal shape by losing several layers of clothing. I tested the lounger for comfort, found it to be extremely acceptable, and lay back comfortably in the soft pillows. Shortly thereafter, there was a knock at the door, and at my request, Tim came strolling into the room.
“Well, are you comfortable?“
”Thanks, I'm just fine. But we should talk about a few things. First of all, this is your room, so you can come in anytime. After your surprise visit earlier, there's not much of me that you haven't seen yet."
Tim chuckled to himself.
“And secondly, I don't feel entirely comfortable with the idea of stealing your room. I think it would be better if I slept in the living room with you, you have to go to school and need a good night's sleep. Besides, all your stuff is here in this room.”
“Absolutely not! You're sleeping here, you need a quiet place, the living room is completely unsuitable for that, because it faces the main street and it's always pretty noisy there. If I need something from the room, I'll just get it. Anyway, I plan on keeping you company from time to time, if I'm not getting on your nerves.”
“Tim, you're definitely not getting on my nerves. I just feel a little bad about the whole thing. I'm already a burden to you, and then I'm banishing you from your most personal realm.“
”Well, unfortunately I don't have two beds. Unless...“
”Unless what?”
“Well, we have a folding bed. I always sleep on that when my cousin comes to visit.“
”Why didn't you say so? I'll sleep on that thing, and you can have your bed to yourself.“
”I thought you might want a little privacy.”
“Uh, I don't feel like it at all right now. To be honest, I'd rather not have to brood here all alone, I'd just get stupid ideas and end up bored to death.“
”Are you well enough to bear my company?”
I listened to myself. The medication was working, I was still a bit queasy, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to do any great feats of strength right now, but in general I felt much better than I had in the morning. My skull was padded with cotton wool, so that crazy bowlers and bell cleaners no longer had an easy time of it with me.
“Don't worry. If I'm really feeling really bad and I want to suffer all alone, I'll let you know in time.“
”Okay. I'll tell Dad that we'll both be staying here. But only on one condition: you stay in bed, I'll take the folding bed. And there's no discussion about it!”
Oh God, the little guy could be really authoritarian! But well, better a half victory than none at all. I decided not to make a fuss about it, and so it happened that half an hour later half of the remaining space in the room was taken up by the aforementioned folding bed. Fortunately, as the name suggests, it could be folded up during the day and stored in a space-saving way.
Reinhardt asked us again whether we were sure about this arrangement, but when we both said yes, he was obviously very pleased with it. Incidentally, in contrast to me, both Bergners had heroically submitted to the flu shot, so I posed no danger to them.
Time flew by, and suddenly it was nine o'clock in the evening. In between, Tim had brought me a light supper to bed, and Reinhardt contributed my pills and juices. I got a little fright when he announced that it was time to take my temperature, but when Tim's father saw my slightly shocked expression, he just grinned and showed me the thermometer he intended to use. It was one of those new things that you can use to take your temperature in your ear, and I was extremely relieved. The technical marvel showed 38.5. After this somewhat reassuring measurement, I negated Reinhardt's question of whether I needed anything else, wished me good night and a speedy recovery, left the room, and I decided to try to fall asleep. Tim joined his father's wishes and said that he would watch a little TV in the living room. Actually, I wanted to tell him that he could do that in here, but somehow I suddenly lacked the strength, and my eyes closed. I must have slept pretty soundly, because I didn't realize how Tim came back into the room at some point and stretched out on the folding bed. I was probably too busy with my rather confused fever dreams.
I woke up around five o'clock in the morning, mainly because the painkillers had stopped working. Once again, I had the feeling that my skull was about to burst, but I didn't really know what to do about it. I really wished my mother were here with the suppository box, but tempting as the thought was, I would never be able to bring myself to ask Tim or even Reinhardt to help me out. So I would have to brave the pain.
For the next hour and a half, I suffered in agony, and when Tim got up, it took all my acting talent to hide my condition from him. I pretended to be still asleep and watched through tiny slits in my eyes as he grabbed a few things and then left the room, obviously on his way to the bathroom. Now I couldn't stand it anymore, I decided to take the painkiller myself. With fidgety fingers, I tore open the packaging and grabbed the slightly slippery thing, and then tried to get it to where it was needed. The latter was now easier said than done, because this destination was just characterized by being damn hard to see. After two or three unsuccessful attempts with a trembling hand, I finally landed a hit. Now I could only hope that the effect would be as fast as the day before.
I was lucky, after a few minutes the pain subsided. Relieved, I flopped back into bed just as Tim entered the room. Today his thermal underwear was bright red, and when he saw that I was awake, he gave me a radiant smile.
“Danny, you're awake! How are you, did you sleep well?“
”Thanks, I'm okay. Good morning. Well, ready to face the cruel reality of school?“
Tim laughed.
”It's not that cruel. At least not for me.“
”Oh yeah? How are you doing in school?”
“You really don't want to know.“
”Oh yes, I do!“
”Do you promise not to laugh at me?“
”Sure. I already promised you that on our first afternoon together, remember?“
”Right. All right. 1.0.”
WHAT? Oh God, I was in for it! If my mother found out, she would always remind me of how good my little brother is at school and that I should take him as an example. But I had always been satisfied with my grades – which were always between 1.8 and 2.2.
“That's not good at all, Tim, not at all. You're corrupting the standards.“
”I'm sorry, but that's no reason for me to intentionally fail assignments.“
”Huh, so I'll just have to live with it.“
”Exactly.”
Tim walked past me to pack up his school things at his desk, and his eyes fell on the empty suppository packaging. Damn, why didn't I think to get rid of that? Curious, he picked it up and looked at it.
“Cool, the doctor prescribed those for me a few months ago, too. They're so strong that I was literally a little high from them. But the pain was gone in no time.“
I could confirm that, my headache had also lost the battle for the moment.
”Did you give yourself that thing?”
I nodded.
“And you waited until I was in the bathroom?”
I nodded again.
“How long have you been in pain?”
“For an hour or two.”
“Stupid. You could have just woken me up and I would have helped you with it.”
"Hey, maybe I'm embarrassed in front of you!”
“Uh, in case you've forgotten: I'm your brother, no need to be embarrassed around me. Besides, I got to see that side of you yesterday. And even if you didn't want my help, you didn't have to wait for me to leave to help yourself.”
What's this, a reversal of roles? Just three days ago, I was trying to teach him that we were siblings and could trust each other with anything. Okay, I plead mitigating circumstances. My mind was just a bit addled due to illness.
"All right, I get it. No more false modesty, especially in emergencies.”
“I should hope so. Well, I have to get dressed, I have to leave in ten minutes. Dad and I have already had breakfast, should I tell him when I leave to make something for you?“
”No, thanks. I don't feel like eating yet."
My mother would put a red dot on the calendar for that statement.
“Okay, whatever you say. But don't be embarrassed to call him if you need anything, I'll leave the door ajar.“
During our conversation, he had slipped into his shirt and trousers, then grabbed his school bag and went to the door.
”Well then, have a good rest. And get better. Bye.“
”Have fun. See you this afternoon.”
And he disappeared, leaving the door ajar as promised. Well, it was kind of nice to be the center of attention and to be mothered by everyone. However, it came at a high price with the pain and the rest of the symptoms.
I managed to fall asleep again, and was only woken by a hand stroking my hair. I forced my eyes to open and looked into the smiling face of Tim's father.
"Good morning, you problem child. How are you today?”
“Good morning. I'm fine now, but I had a headache again this morning.“
”Did you take something for it?“
”Yes, and it worked.“
”Well, that's good. Let me take your temperature first."
The miracle thermometer was used again and showed 37.9 at the end of the measurement. Well, it could be better.
“Are you hungry?“
Hm. Interesting question. I think so.
”Yes.“
”How about a warm pudding? With tea? You have to take your medicine anyway.“
”Okay.”
“Good. I'll be back in a quarter of an hour. I hope you can hold out that long. By the way, your mother called from the airport."
I looked at my watch. It was already half past nine. So she must be close to Paris by now. Well, she deserved it. She had worked hard for it.
In the meantime, Reinhardt had disappeared from the room, and I wondered where and how I should eat. It would probably be best to go to the kitchen with him. I sat up and tried hanging my feet over the edge of the bed. No negative reactions. So I slipped into my slippers and got up slowly and carefully. I was a little dazed, but not so bad that I couldn't make it. I had to go to the bathroom first anyway. Although I had no idea where to find it. So I shuffled into the kitchen, where the host looked up in astonishment when he saw me standing in the doorway.
“Reinhardt, could you please tell me where the restroom is?“
”The last door on the left, at the end of the corridor. Tell me, are you sure you can make it there on your own?“
”I think so. But if you hear a loud crash, please come and see what's going on.”
“Don't joke about that, young man! I promised Maria I'd take good care of you. And I intend to keep that promise!“
”All right. But I'll be fine, don't worry.“
”All right.”
With slow steps, I made my way to the door in question, and indeed, a spacious bathroom was hidden behind it. I took care of what I had come for, washed my hands, and got the fright of my life. When I looked in the mirror, a fearsome figure stared back at me. My eyes were set in dark hollows, and to call my complexion chalk white would have been a flattery. And all this after just a day and a half! I tore my eyes away from the sight and made my way back to the kitchen. Reinhardt was just about to pack my breakfast on a tray and take it to Tim's room. I was able to convince him that I would rather eat in the kitchen.
“Well, since you're already here, sit down."
I sat down in the seating area and looked at the pudding plate in front of me with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I felt very hungry, but on the other hand, the sight of the food made me feel a little sick again. Oh well. I didn't feel like starving, and it couldn't be any more than coming out again. Spoon by spoonful, I put the chocolate pudding into my mouth, sipping hot tea repeatedly. It didn't take long for the dish to be empty; my morning pill ration had also found its way into my stomach. As I leaned back, I could see that Reinhardt had a satisfied look on his face.
"So, the world looks a lot better again, doesn't it?”
“That's right, I needed something in my stomach now. Thanks. Oh, by the way, could you do me a favor?“
”Sure, go ahead.“
”Could you cover all the mirrors in the house? The sight of my face almost made me faint earlier.“
”Well, you don't seem to have lost your sense of humor.”
“It's pure self-defense, otherwise I wouldn't be able to stand all this crap.“
”How about it, are you going to lie down again?“
”In a minute. I just want to sit for a while, I've been lying down almost all the time for the last 24 hours.”
“I understand. But it's not very comfortable here. What do you think about going into the living room? You can sit comfortably on the couch, and if it gets too much for you, you can just stretch out. I'd like to discuss something with you anyway, of course only if it's not too much for you.”
Now he had sparked my curiosity. I was doing relatively well at the moment, and I didn't feel like being alone in Tim's room anyway.
“Okay.”
"Go ahead, you know where it is. I'll just put the dishes in the dishwasher and then come.”
So I slowly crept into the living room and sat cross-legged on the couch. A quick glance around allowed me to see that a technology freak was obviously at home here. A TV with a monster picture tube, plus a stereo system from a brand where the nameplate alone cost a three-digit sum. Tim's father was obviously not only professionally but also financially successful. No wonder he could afford to jet off to Florida with four people.
While I was still thinking about these things, Reinhardt came into the room, bringing a quilt. He brought it to me and put it around my shoulders.
"Here, it's not quite as warm as in the kitchen. We don't want to take any more risks.”
Anyone who brought me a warm blanket automatically got a lot of brownie points from me. I pulled it tightly around my body and snuggled into it. Reinhardt sat down in a chair across from me and just looked at me for a while. Then he got down to business.
"So, Danny, first of all, if it gets too much for you, just say so and we'll postpone it. There's really no rush.”
“It's okay, I'll let you know in good time before I fall off my stool.“
He laughed.
”Good. But now seriously. Danny, I love your mother.“
I had already gathered that.
”And I like you too, very much.“
That sounded really encouraging.
”And I know that Tim feels the same way.”
It was getting better and better.
"Danny, Maria and I would like to all move in together and become a real family. But it's not something that the two of us oldies can decide on our own, you two boys have at least as much say in the matter. I would like to know how you feel about it, whether you could get used to the idea, and I would like to hear your honest opinion. I guess it's not all that surprising for you."
That's right. I had been expecting such a proposal for quite a while now. Okay. He wanted the unvarnished truth? He should get it.
“Reinhardt, first of all, you should know that the most important thing for me is that my mother is happy. She's already had to put up with a lot, first my illness, then the death of my father. If it makes her happy, I would even put up with a monster of a stepfather and a pesky little brother.”
An expression of disbelief and shock spread across Reinhardt's face. He started to say something, but I interrupted him.
“Wait a minute, I'm not finished yet! I said I would endure that too. But I'm really very happy that I don't have to endure that, but instead get people like you and Tim.”
Relief showed on his face.
“Well, I have to tell you, I'll probably have to get used to your sense of humor first.“
”Don't worry, you will.“
”So you agree?“
”You have my blessing. But what about Tim?”
“Oh, you don't have to worry about that! He likes Maria very much, she probably gives him what he has been missing since his mother disappeared. I think I have been a reasonably good father, but I could never replace his mother. Well, and as for you..."
I was hanging on his every word.
“... he really admires you. I don't know how you've managed it in such a short time, but when he talks about you, his eyes light up. He looks up to you, and if you don't do something really stupid, you've gained not only a little brother but also your biggest fan.”
My God, he really didn't need to put me on such a pedestal. On the other hand, I was pleased that Tim thought so highly of me.
“I hope that clears up any doubts you might still have had. We would like to move in together at the beginning of next year. At first we thought about the time between Christmas and New Year, but then we decided that we would rather enjoy those days together somewhere.”
“It won't be up to me. Just let me know the exact date in good time so that I can quickly sprain my ankle and avoid having to help with the heavy lifting.“
”Oh no, you won't get off that easily! Self-mutilation is severely punished.”
Now we both laughed, and the slight tension that had hung over us at the beginning of the conversation had completely disappeared. However, an important question had not yet been raised. I had to change that.
"Now please tell me where we will live together. Here or with us?”
“As much as I like it here, it would probably be a bit too cramped for four people. We need a living room, a bedroom, a large study, and depending on how you and Tim decide, one or two children's rooms. Please excuse the term 'children's room'.“
”So you'll both be moving in with us.”
It was actually logical, we had more than enough space. When my parents planned and built the house, they immediately expected more family members to move in. It was never planned that I would remain an only child, and both my father and mother also firmly believed in the idea of a multigenerational house. There was enough space to accommodate my family later, including two or three children – well, back then no one suspected that little Danny, who had been put in the corner in kindergarten for looking up a girl's skirt, would later switch to the other side. So, what about the children's rooms?
“I assume Tim wants his own room, right?“
”Not really. He said he'd like to share a room with you, but only if it's okay with you.”
Was I okay with that? A difficult question. On the one hand, I really liked the idea – and without any ulterior motives. I just liked having Tim around. On the other hand, I wasn't quite sure how this would affect my feelings towards him. Well, I'd just have to pull myself together.
“I wouldn't have any problems with that. And if, contrary to expectations, it doesn't work out, we can always go our separate ways."
But there was something else. This was the right time for the final test for Tim's father. This test could still spoil everything, but better now than later, when nothing could be done.
“Reinhardt, there is something you should know about me. There is one thing that could possibly change your opinion of me.“
”What is it? You don't have a dead body in your bed drawer, do you?"
Contrary to my normal nature, I didn't feel like making jokes at all.
“I'm really serious. I'll just say it, there's no way to teach you this gently anyway. Reinhardt, I'm gay.“
To describe his reaction as stunned would have been a huge understatement. Well, at least he hadn't jumped down my throat yet.
”You're gay? You?“
”Yep.”
“I'll have to digest that for a while. I really didn't think so.“
”Does that change anything between us?“
”Indeed, that changes a lot!"
Reinhardt rose from his chair and came to me. Now I was a little worried. But he just sat down next to me and took me in his arms.
“Silly. The only thing that changes is that at some point I will only have one daughter-in-law instead of two, and a son-in-law instead of none."
Phew, now it was my turn to look relieved. However, if I were him, I wouldn't be so sure about the one daughter-in-law either. Reinhardt grinned at me.
“I'm sorry, but revenge is blood sausage. How do you think I felt earlier when you started talking about the 'monster of a stepfather'?"
Okay, okay. I guess I had that coming.
“Danny, you're still the same nice boy I'd like to have as a son. What I don't know is how Tim will react to this. I actually hope that I have raised him to be a tolerant person, but we have never spoken directly about this topic.”
“Tim has known since Saturday afternoon.“
So, now I had completely thrown Reinhardt off track. He stared at me with wide-open eyes.
”And how did he react?!“
”Uh, do I really have to answer that question now? After all, you have spoken to him a few more times since then, haven't you?”
“Huh, right. Sorry, but that caught me a bit off guard. It was pretty brave of you to tell him right at the first meeting.“
”It wasn't. It was pretty stupid.“
”You'll have to explain that to me now, though.”
And I told him about the chain of unfortunate circumstances that led to the discovery of my big secret. When I was finished, Reinhardt laughed.
“That's what you call a stupid turn of events. So, do you regret it now?”
"No, how could I, when Tim reacted so well. And now you too. Thank you.”
As a precaution, I had left out the fact that Tim himself was plagued by some doubts about himself in my story. That was something Tim had to come up with himself when he was ready to do so.
"No need to thank me. It shouldn't be anything special. So, now that we've been talking for quite a while, how are you doing? Are you not getting too much of it?”
Hm, now that he said it. I did feel a little weak – on the other hand, our conversation had quite successfully distracted me from my condition. Still.
“I think I'll lie down again for a while.”
"Do that. It's about time for your next pill anyway, I'll bring it to your room then.”
And so I found myself a few minutes later in Tim's bed, still sitting upright against the wall, awaiting the approach of the poison bomber. I was not disappointed; it wasn't long before Reinhardt appeared with pills and drops – the side effects of which I'd rather not even begin to think about. But there was no way around the disgusting stuff, so I swallowed it all bravely.
“Good boy, my little one.”
That brought a wry smile to my face.
"Try to get some sleep. Tim will be home around half past one, and I'll prepare a quick lunch for us. Would you like something then too?”
“I can't say right now. If I should sleep, you'd better let me. I'll let you know when I need something.“
”All right. Well, I'll leave the door open a little."
And then I was alone again. I decided to follow Reinhardt's advice, and sure enough, I fell asleep shortly afterwards.
Panic. Screaming people. The calm voice of a stewardess. Screeching metal. Fire. Flashing lights. Then darkness. And a voice from afar.
"Danny... Danny, come to yourself. It's just a dream... wake up... come on... please wake up...”
The voice slowly pulled my mind out of the terrible, burning dungeon in which it was trapped. I opened my eyes and saw the worried and nevertheless pretty face of Tim.
"Come on, Danny, everything's fine. It was all just a bad dream.”
It certainly had been. I knew this dream very well, I remembered it only too well. After my father's death, I had had it every night for months, later less and less often, but it had only been about a year since I had finally been left in peace. At least that's what I thought. Why had it come back now? Was it just because of my already tense mental state?
Tim was sitting half on the bed, holding me in his strong swimmer arms.
“Danny, it's all right. You were only dreaming. Are you all right again?”
At that very moment, Reinhardt stormed into the room.
“What happened? Tim, what's going on?”
"Danny had a nightmare, it took me a while to wake him up.”
“I see. Danny, are you okay?"
I tried to pull myself together, but I was still shaking all over. My pajamas were completely soaked with sweat again, and my eyes were also only providing a rather blurry image. But I had to answer something, so I put all my self-control into my shaky voice.
“I'm fine now. It was just so... so real. So intense.“
I looked my brother in the eye.
”Thanks for getting me out of there.“
”You're welcome. Would you like to lie down again now?“
”Please hold me for another minute until I've calmed down.”
While Tim did just that and his father looked for a dry pair of pajamas for me, I found the time to glance at my watch. It was just before six; I had slept through the whole afternoon. Or almost slept through it, because I vaguely remembered Reinhardt waking me briefly at some point and giving me my medication.
Slowly but surely, calm returned to me, and I told Tim that he could let go of me again – not without thanking him again. His father handed me the new pajamas.
“It's probably better if you change. I'll also bring fresh sheets in a minute.”
"Don't worry about it, you guys have enough on your hands with me as it is.”
“No way. Besides, I've already prepared a complete set of bedding. When Tim had the flu, it was the same for him. And when everything is done, I'll bring you a light supper and your medication.”
Well, it looked as if I had no say in the matter. With Tim's help, I got up from the bed to give Reinhardt the opportunity to remove the soaked bedding. I settled down on the folding bed, and shortly afterwards Tim's father had disappeared from the room. Three minutes later he was back, rearranging the bed. When that was done, he left me alone with Tim again.
“I'll be back in ten minutes with dinner. When I come back, I want you to be in bed, in dry clothes."
Aye aye, sir. I started to peel off the top of my pajamas. It should have been a simple matter, but it was as difficult as... as clearing the driveway in 8 inches of fresh snow. Eventually I made it, and I realized that I couldn't just put on the fresh clothes. I had sweated like a pig several times now, and no matter how dirty I was, I had to wash it off my body.
“Tim, can you get your father?”
"What's the matter, are you feeling worse?”
“No, but we have to change the plans a little. Please go get him, okay?“
”Whatever you say. I'll be right back."
In fact, I could barely blink twice, and the two of them were standing in the room again with worried expressions.
“What is it, Danny? Do you need something?“
”Reinhardt, I have to take a shower. I stink, and I feel extremely dirty.“
”Danny, I can imagine that, but I don't know if a shower is such a good idea. You can hardly stand on your feet as it is."
I couldn't really disagree with that. Tim, however, had an idea.
“He could go into the tub. We'll help him get in and out, and while he's in there, one of us will make sure that nothing happens.“
Reinhardt looked at me questioningly.
”What do you think, Danny? It's either that or wash you here in bed."
Nah, I wasn't that frail. At least I hoped not.
“Let's try the tub.“
”Good. I'll run the water.“
”Should I get towels?“
”No, I'll do it. You stay here and don't let Danny out of your sight."
Hah, like I'd run away!
Fifteen minutes later, Reinhardt came back to us. He handed me a robe.
"Take off your pants right here and put this on. It's too tight in the bathroom.”
Easier said than done. In the end, Tim had to help me get rid of my socks and pants. Since I was still a little embarrassed in front of him, I got so red in the face from the whole affair that it could have passed for an overripe cherry. Fortunately, I was so turned on that no other body part even got any stupid ideas.
We had just finished undressing when Tim's father came to pick us up. Carefully guided from both sides, I managed the way to the bathroom. It was strange, only a few hours earlier I had covered the same distance relatively effortlessly under my own steam.
Once in the bathroom, a bathtub filled with inviting warm water awaited me. Reinhardt took my robe from me, and then the three of us stood somewhat indecisively at the edge of the tub.
"Hm, how do we get you in here without you slipping or hurting yourself?”
Reinhardt took a good look at my entire body.
“Tell me, when was the last time someone picked you up?” Literally, I mean.
Huh, not that, please not that! That was just too ernie... Ah. Before I could even start to protest, Reinhardt had used his size and strength to lift me off the ground, picked me up like a baby, and now let me sink slowly and carefully into the water.
“Is the water okay? Not too hot or too cold?”
"Just right.”
“Good. Just stay there for five minutes. Do you want me to help you wash or should Tim do it?“
Please not Tim. It was bad enough that he had to watch all this. His strong, big brother – helpless like a toddler.
”You.”
“Okay. Tim, please stay here and make sure nothing happens.“
”All right, Dad."
I leaned back and tried to sink as much body surface area as possible into the pleasantly warm water. I managed to get only my head and the tips of my knees sticking out in the end. Somehow I felt a little better.
“You okay, Danny?“
I glanced over at Tim, who was sitting on a stool, looking at me with concern.
”Thanks, that's great. I'm sorry to be such a burden to you guys.“
”Someone recently told me to stop apologizing all the time. I'm just going to pass that advice on to you now.”
Okay, okay. I got a taste of my own medicine. It wasn't long before Reinhardt reappeared in the bathroom and sent Tim to the kitchen to watch the water boil.
"So, let's get started. How would you like me to help you?”
“I think it's enough if you scrub my back, I'll hopefully manage the rest on my own.“
”As you like. But please don't be embarrassed if you need more help. I can assure you that there is nothing that I haven't already seen or done on Tim.”
Very reassuring. Nevertheless, I was glad that I really only needed help with my back. The wonderfully warm water had revived my spirits a little. A few minutes later, everything was done, I got out of the tub and wanted to reach for a large bath towel. Reinhardt, however, stopped me and rinsed the soap off me with the shower hose. Then he took the bath towel, wrapped me in it and then lifted me out of the tub again. All this with an ease as if I weighed nothing at all.
"So, I suppose you want to rub yourself off alone?”
Bull's eye. When I was dry and dressed again, Reinhardt took me back to Tim's room. I lay down, was left alone for a short time and then had my dinner served. A few slices of toast, tea and the inevitable medication. I bravely devoured it all, and just as I had finished, the phone rang. Tim's father rushed off and came back into the room shortly afterwards with the phone. I had a pretty good idea who was on the other end of the line, and my hunch was immediately confirmed.
“Danny, it's your mother. Would you talk to her?”
I took the phone and answered.
“Danny, how are you? You sound pretty good.”
It's a good thing she didn't call half an hour earlier.
“Thanks, I'm doing much better. Reinhardt and Tim are taking really good care of me. So, how's Paris?“
”It's still standing. It's a beautiful city, the city of love. Maybe I should send you here. Maybe you'll find a handsome boy for yourself here. Oops – I hope the call isn't on speakerphone! I really didn't want to give you away.”
That now caused a hoarse cawing, which, with a lot of imagination, could pass for laughter.
“Don't worry, it's not on speakerphone. And even if it was, they both know.”
"What? You told them? So, how did it go?”
“Quite excellently. Don't worry about that. But I'll tell you all about it when you get back here, not that the long-distance call will make you poor. I'll give you your sweetheart again."
The latter smiled, picked up the phone again, and left the room with it. Well, secret meetings!
While Reinhardt was driving up the phone bill a little, Tim cleared away the remains of my meal. Five minutes later, everyone was back in Tim's room. Reinhardt looked at me a little reproachfully.
"But that wasn't the whole truth you told your mother. As if you were doing much better.”
“I hope you didn't betray me. I want her to enjoy herself in Paris. If I had told her what was really wrong with me today, she would have jumped on the next plane and would be here in a few hours.”
“I see what you mean. I didn't tell her anything, and I won't for the time being. But if you get worse, I won't be able to keep it from her. Agreed?“
”I can live with that.“
”Good. How are you doing now, have you survived the exertions to some extent?”
“I think so. What I need now is a quiet, restful night without headaches and other problems.“
”Then you'd better try to sleep. You also have something for pain, better take some of that right away, as a preventive. These suppositories are so strong that they should last until tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, I'll squeeze one of those things in.“
”Do you want me to help you?“
I thought back and forth. What the heck, it wouldn't make any difference now.
”Okay.“
”Good. Tim, in the meantime, would you please get the clinical thermometer?”
Tim did as he was told, and while he was on his way, his father gave me the painkiller. Then the thermometer was still in use, showing 38.8, and shortly afterwards my two orderlies left the room and left me to my own devices. Fortunately, I didn't have much time to brood, because after just a few minutes I fell asleep dreamlessly into Morpheus' arms.
All right, now it was time to be strong. Danny, don't be a wimp, you have to go through with it. What could possibly happen? But no matter how much I kept telling myself that, no matter how often I went over the statistics in my head, I still had a bad feeling. Of course, this affected my general condition, and slowly but surely I fell behind the others. Which, of course, was noticed immediately. Reinhardt also dropped back.
“You okay, Danny?”
“Yeah, I'm fine, great, wonderful.”
“You're a lousy liar.”
“I know. But I had to try.”
"Come on, let's go, it'll be okay.”
He put his huge right arm around my body, and together we walked through the narrow passenger tunnel to the entrance of the Airbus that was to take us to Orlando. Now it should be clear what had thrown me off track. Okay, the anticipation of Florida was huge, but the closer the day of departure approached, the more aware I became that it inevitably meant having to get on a plane. This is something I hadn't done since my father died. Mom did, though it took a lot of effort for her at first, too, but in the last few years she had flown across Germany and halfway across Europe. I, on the other hand... well, as I said, I was well aware that flying is a very safe form of transportation. I also knew all the physical principles, but still I had nagging doubts. I mean, these turbine-powered wannabe birds are heavy as hell and only kept in the air by tricks – no matter how scientifically sound these tricks may be – and when these tricks fail, the way down is damn long and the impact is damn hard and final. But wait, I had to pull myself together now; after all, it was not acceptable for me to spoil the others' well-deserved vacation with my (albeit understandable) cowardice. Besides, it was much too late to jump off now anyway. Jump off? Oops, apt choice of words.
With a look of defiance on my face, I gathered all my courage and stepped into the plane with Reinhardt, taking a reasonably firm step. After all, the reward for my courage was really something special, at least for someone like me. Almost two weeks out of the cold prevailing in Germany and off to a region where we would be able to walk around in T-shirts and shorts! That was more or less my idea of paradise. Incidentally, my cocky little brother had rushed ahead as if he feared that the plane would take off without him. Ah yes, the enthusiasm of youth!
Wait a minute, some of you might say. This guy was just lying in a strange bed, dying of a terrible disease, and now suddenly he's on his way to the land of the Big Mac? Well, folks, I've decided to spare myself (and you) the heart-rending description of my ordeal over the last two weeks. With slight improvements every day, it was mostly a repetition of what had happened on my first day with the Bergners. Fortunately, a few days ago the family medicine woman had given the green light for the trip to Uncle Sam, so that I could board the plane in good (or not so good) spirits, even though I didn't feel 100% recovered yet. The week I spent with Tim and his father had the pleasant effect of bringing the three of us together, which my mother was also very happy to see when she returned from the baguette capital. By the way, she had brought me a real Parisian! Well, unfortunately not one on two legs, but one wrapped in foil. And now he was on his way to Florida with me in my wallet – not that I had any increased hopes of being able to use him there.
But let's get back to the text and back on the plane. When Reinhardt allowed us a first glimpse of the tickets at the baggage drop-off, my eyes almost popped out of my sockets. It actually said Business Class! I briefly searched my memory, but found no indication of a recent lottery win. Both families were doing well financially, but spending that much money on a means of transportation seemed a bit excessive to me. I certainly wouldn't complain, but I was a little relieved when Tim's father explained how we came to this honor. It turned out that he had been translating technical literature for this airline for quite some time, with the result that he had free business class tickets himself and his companion got this luxury in economy class. I would ask him if he happened to work for Lincoln, too. It was only a few months until my 18th birthday, when I would be eligible for a driver's license, and a Lincoln Navigator at a discount price would make my luck complete. Okay, not quite complete, but I was still angling for the right passenger. It had to work out sometime!
Once on the plane, we were shown to our seats, and I generously let Tim have the window seat. That way, I hoped not to notice too much of the take-off. I made myself comfortable and waited for the things to come. For a while I watched the other passengers, then I dug out the information material that the operators of the flying metal heap provided for the amusement of the passengers. A glossy brochure from which the safety instructions jumped into my face as soon as I opened it. Very reassuring. At the sight of my tortured facial expressions, Tim giggled next to me.
“Really that bad?“
”Uh... um... yes. Do they really have to explicitly point out that something could happen?“
”I think so, just to protect themselves against lawsuits for damages.”
Very nice. I leafed through and found some more reassuring things, for example, the video and radio program and duty-free shopping. I felt a slight relaxation spreading and I didn't even notice how the time of departure was getting closer and closer. I was startled by the captain's voice, who announced that the flight attendants would now begin with the safety briefing.
“Not that too!“
My mother, who was sitting behind Tim and me with Reinhardt, leaned forward and whispered soothingly in my ear.
”You'll have to get through it, it won't take long.”
Like the proverbial sheep led to the slaughter, I endured the speech, and when it was over, I wished it would go on for a few more hours. It had suddenly occurred to me that the end of the drivel meant that takeoff was imminent. The flight attendants handed out sweets to help with the equalization of pressure (I would have preferred a general anesthetic), and then the plane started to taxi. I made myself very small in my seat and clenched my hands around the seat backs. Tim was no longer amused but rather concerned.
"We're not taking off yet, we have to taxi to the runway first.”
My level of tension dropped to 99%. Tim smiled reassuringly at me and placed his left hand on top of my right. 98%. The taxiing took quite a while, and a crazy thought flashed through my mind. 'Thank God we're taxiing to Florida!' 97%. We made a few turns across the airport. 96%. The plane came to a halt. 'Machine broken, flight canceled!' 25% and falling! (Yes, yes, I know: total nonsense. But what doesn't go through your mind when you don't know where to turn with fear.) Suddenly, there was a roar, the machine started to tremble and then began to move faster and faster. I was back to 100%. They would definitely need to replace the armrests after my flight, they were guaranteed to be permanently decorated with the imprints of my fingernails. I didn't want to be aware of any of this and squinted my eyes. I didn't have a total blackout, but I wasn't far from it either.
I can no longer say how long I remained in this state of rigidity, but when I was able to perceive my surroundings again, the roaring and shaking had stopped, and I now felt a bit like I was in a fast, comfortable car on a freshly paved highway. I took a careful look around and saw nothing but relaxed faces. Apparently, everything had worked as planned, and we were about to cover the first few kilometers on the way to Disney's wonderland. I turned my head to the right, and from there Tim looked at me with a grin that was so wide that it almost burst the boundaries of his face.
“Well, survived?”
“Just about.”
"Look at that.”
My brother pointed at the screen in front of my eyes. I had no idea what he intended to do with it, but the constantly rising altitude reading was not particularly reassuring. But what the heck, nothing could be done about it now anyway, so I thought I'd better come to terms with my situation. I reached for the book I had brought with me, and shortly afterwards I was surprisingly completely absorbed in the plot.
A little while later – the mysterious murderer in my crime novel had just struck for the third time – I was torn out of the story. A stewardess (wait, stop, objection: a flight attendant) was distributing drinks and snacks. Tim and I helped ourselves, the friendly lady wandered on through the rows, then the voice of the conqueror of the skies sounded to tell us that we could now take a look at the nightly Hamburg, many kilometers below us. This sight – Tim kindly let me look out the window too, which I initially only did with a little hesitation – made up for a lot. I would never have believed that you could see everything so clearly from this height. A few cars, a fully lit soccer stadium – simply magnificent. By now I was hanging with my whole body on my brother's, and our heads were pressed against the small window. A few minutes later it was all over, and we sorted ourselves back into our own seats.
“Well, Danny, wasn't that a great sight?“
”You can say that again. Is it always like that?“
”No, on my previous flights I was never so lucky. Either we were traveling during the day or there were too many clouds between the ground and us. Old St. Peter seems to be well-disposed towards you.”
“Well, I have to have a little luck sometimes. Will we see more of this today?“
”If the weather plays along, yes. The next stop would be Glasgow, and after the big water, Washington.“
”Great!“
”Well, where did your fear of flying suddenly go?“
”What fear of flying? Not me.”
“Haha. If you're so easily cured, I'll quickly get rid of your fear of water too.“
”Ugh. Don't remind me of that. Right now, I have enough to do with getting over flying at ten thousand meters without a net or parachute. To top it all off, I'll soon be flying over one of the largest bodies of water in the world.”
But Tim was right. I was now actually much more relaxed and could sit back in my chair relatively relaxed. Whereby one thing slowly but surely became clear to me.
"Tell me, Tim, is it always so cold in airplanes?”
“Well, it's certainly not particularly warm. Look at the outside temperature: minus 55 degrees. Every degree they heat costs extra fuel. So they prefer to distribute blankets. Do you need one?”
“No thanks, not yet. But if I get the idea to take a nap later on, I wouldn't mind a blanket.“
”As you wish."
At least I now knew why we hadn't already changed into our much more summery Florida clothes at the airport back home, but would wait until we arrived in the Sunshine State.
We spent the time until overflying Glasgow reading and following the in-flight radio programs. Above the Scottish capital, we were again very lucky with the weather, and the experience of Hamburg was repeated. Shortly afterwards, dinner was served, which... well, let's just say it was edible. After clearing the tables, the picture on the monitors changed, and the main movie of the flight was announced. Armageddon. Well, I hadn't seen that one yet, so I switched the headphones to the appropriate channel and spent the next two hours watching humanity's struggle for survival. Not bad, actually, but I couldn't quite understand what the girls at my school saw in Ben Affleck.
After the movie ended, I grabbed one of the blankets I mentioned earlier and slept for a good two hours. At least I could dream about having solid ground under my feet. But since something good never lasts forever, I was awakened by a gentle shaking of my shoulder.
"Danny, wake up.”
I tried to collect my thoughts a little, and after a few confused moments I actually managed to come up with an answer.
“What is it, are we there already?”
"No, but you have to fasten your seat belt. The captain has announced turbulence.”
Great! Just what I needed to top off my luck. I sat up straight and clicked the seat belt into place. Sure enough, an extremely unpleasant shaking started shortly thereafter. The plane wobbled in all available directions, and sometimes I could literally feel it sagging quite a bit. The mood in the cabin was correspondingly tense; you could literally feel the tension.
Our ordeal lasted about a quarter of an hour, after which the flight attendants had their hands full collecting the famous bags. Surprisingly, I didn't need mine – unlike my oh-so-cool little brother. But wait, I wouldn't make fun of him under any circumstances, since I had repeatedly given up on my own life during those 15 long minutes.
Well, luckily not only the good moments in life come to an end, but the bad ones too, and we found ourselves in air layers that were not quite so mixed up. Tim, as I said, was quite pale – and could now understand my situation much better. Mom and Reinhardt had also not remained completely unimpressed by the events of the last few minutes. If I had understood correctly, the flight attendant had to take two bags from the row behind us. It then took about half an hour for everyone to calm down again to some extent and for the normal on-board program to start again with short films and a small snack.
The rest of the flight went by in a flash. What's that stupid saying again? Well, stupid but true. Washington was hidden under a thick cloud cover – well, maybe George had just been visited by an intern and wanted to avoid being watched from above. Maybe it wasn't clouds at all, but rather cigar smoke.
The last stretch was down the coast towards Orlando, where we landed at around 10:30 p.m. Just an hour and a half later, we had completed the immigration formalities, found our luggage, changed, and were about to look for a taxi to the hotel when suddenly the name “Bergner” was called out. So we made our way to the information desk as requested, where a man in the airline's uniform was waiting for us. The latter actually seemed to be quite grateful to Reinhardt; the employee waiting for us turned out to be our driver, who now took us to the hotel in a minibus (I deliberately use this word; the word “van”, which has become fashionable in our country, would be a significant understatement considering the size of the vehicle).
After a ride on still quite busy streets, we reached our accommodation for the next few days: a resort right at the Magic Kingdom. Reinhardt really splashed out, as was evident shortly afterwards when we were led to a breathtaking suite. A large living room, two bedrooms, each with two huge beds and a private bathroom with a whirlpool, of course, TV sets everywhere (okay, not everywhere, in the bathrooms they had inexplicably done without them), and fully air-conditioned. In two simple words: pure luxury.
However, we decided against further explorations due to the late hour. We quickly packed the most necessary things and shortly afterwards we were lying in bed. Despite the rather exciting hours that had passed, sleep came quickly this time.
It was only 8 o'clock and I was already awake. And that on vacation. And it only took me about an hour to figure out where I was. No, it wasn't that bad, but I was a bit puzzled to wake up in a bed in which I could have gotten lost because of its size. All this in a slightly over-decorated room. For my taste, it was all a bit over the top, but I guess that was typically American. Before I could indulge in further analysis, however, I was torn out of my ruminations.
“Hello sleepyhead. Well, finally awake?"
An unpleasantly perky Tim stood grinning happily in the bathroom doorway, wearing only skin-tight boxer shorts. This sight was pure psychological terror for my lonely heart, and I once again cursed the fact that – contrary to certain prejudices – you can't be gay by choice. My little brother would have been worth any effort in this regard. But it just wasn't meant to be.
“How come you're already awake? They always say that little kids need their sleep.”
“If I didn't need all my energy for today, I'd show you who's a little kid around here.”
"Don't promise what you can't keep, Timmy!”
“Argh! Now you're done!“
With these words, my little brother bridged the few steps between the bathroom door and my bed, only to stop abruptly just over an arm's length away. He stared at me with a brooding look.
”Wait a minute. What's that, you know karate?“
”You can count on it.”
“Okay, apology accepted. You really had a lot of luck now. But you shouldn't push your luck too far. If you don't hurry up and get out of bed, you're guaranteed to get into trouble with our elders. We have a lot planned for today.”
Normally, I would have been annoyed by such nagging, but since I myself was only too eager to discover my surroundings, I generously overlooked it this time. I flung off the blanket, which, for a change (and in contrast to wintry German climes), did not end in a shivering fit.
"Tim, have you already found out what the thermometer says?”
“Around eighteen degrees. And it should get up to twenty-five.“
”Hallelujah! And where did you get this divine news?”
Tim pointed with his right arm in the direction of the television, which – as I only now noticed – was flickering silently and showing current weather data. I sent a short prayer to heaven regarding the reliability of American weather forecasters and then made my way to the bathroom.
Fifteen minutes later I entered the room again, dressed more or less the same as Tim when I woke up, with the only difference that I was less into skin-tight clothes. Reinhardt's son had meanwhile completed his wardrobe and was standing in the room in a T-shirt and blue jeans cut just below the knees. Since this seemed to me to be quite appropriate for the temperatures, I followed his example and joined him shortly afterwards in a very similar outfit. Tim turned off the TV, then we went to the “living room” of the suite, where we were already expected by Mutti and Reinhardt.
"Well, have the young people finally woken up?”
“Oh, Reinhardt, leave them alone. Yesterday was really exhausting.“
”I didn't mean it like that. Good morning everyone.“
The morning actually looked good. However, it would have been even better if my stomach wasn't rumbling so loudly.
”How about breakfast?“
”We were just waiting for you. So come on, everyone who's hungry follow me.”
He didn't need to ask for long. The caravan set in motion, and after a march through long corridors and the ride with an elevator, we found a cozy table for four in one of the hotel restaurants. Ten minutes later, our breakfast was in front of us, and it was quite different from what we were used to at home. Toast (rather limp toast) with ham, bacon and fried egg, with tea and coffee (which our parents said was not particularly good). Well, as unusual as the food combination was (my mother and I usually prefer the “sweet alternative” for breakfast, i.e. rolls and jam), the stuff was definitely filling. I would have to get used to the taste first, but it didn't taste bad.
Now that this extremely important need had been satisfied, we turned to planning the day together. Tim was the most impatient, of course.
"Dad, what are we doing today?”
“Well, we'll be here for four days, so we can visit a different park every day. Maria and I thought it would be best to visit MGM Studios today, you don't necessarily need a whole day for that. We have to get used to it a little first anyway.”
I briefly searched my memory, which I had already thoroughly stuffed with all kinds of data and information about our destination at home. Keywords like StarTours and Tower of Terror came to mind. Well, today would show how brave my little brother really was.
As expected, there was no big discussion, and now that everyone had been fed, we went back to our suite. There, Reinhardt showed us various things he had found on the room table. These included Disney passes, maps, advertising brochures, as well as papers and keys to a rental car. We got all the video and photo equipment ready for use, then it was time to finally set off for our actual destination, so we walked back downstairs, and shortly afterwards we were sitting in a Disney-owned bus that was supposed to take us to the MGM Studios. The ride went over partly six-lane roads, the traffic was brisk but not too dense.
When we arrived at the park entrance, we stocked up on information material and decided on a meeting point in case we got lost in the crowd. The hordes of people were still relatively manageable, but that would probably change during the course of the day. Not for the better, mind you. The technology was divided up, Reinhardt took the video camera, Mom got our 35mm camera and I received the digital camera. There was nothing left for Tim, and that didn't seem quite fair to me.
“Hey Tim, do you want to take the digital camera? It's yours, after all.”
“Nah, I'll pass. I'm not that into photography.”
"Okay, if you say so.”
We decided to work our way through the park in a clockwise direction, which brought us first to the “Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular!” We were really lucky, the show had just started and we found a good place in the middle of the stands. These filled up quite quickly; if we had come ten minutes later, we would have had to wait for the next show. Shortly after the hall was filled to capacity, a “moderator” appeared and welcomed the guests, then went in search of a few volunteers to participate as “backup stuntmen”. I briefly considered volunteering, but then decided against it (afterwards I was very glad I did). Five spectators were picked out and “taken away” to be prepared for their roles. Then the big spectacle began in several scenes. Among other things, the giant boulder from “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” (if I remember that right) was used, then there was a wild car chase and a foot chase, a brawl and a shootout, and the famous scene with the airplane rolling wildly through the area was not missing either. All that accompanied by music, bangs and pyrotechnics (all extremely loud!), plus some blazing flames. The volunteers also had their appearance, and now I'll stop telling this story, after all I don't want to spoil all the excitement for future Florida tourists null
The show was really spectacular, and at the end of it we left the arena – stunned by the action and the volume. Next stop was “Star Tours,” a ride that I can highly recommend to all Star Wars fans. Outside the entrance, a crashed X-wing fighter lies around, and a giant walker shoots water from its “laser” cannons – accompanied by the typical Star Wars sounds.
Inside, we experienced a fast-paced chase through space, including free-roaming asteroids and attacking villains. The sound, light and motion effects made it all seem incredibly realistic – something I simply wouldn't have thought possible before. Okay, I had heard about how great it was supposed to be, but I had always dismissed it as an exaggeration. It's really not! I knew already at that moment that the next four days would be the most exciting days of my life so far.
Once we had returned to our space and time continuum, we decided to split up. Mom and Reinhardt wanted to take it easy, but Tim and I couldn't get to the next attraction fast enough.
"Guys, we'll meet at the Christmas tree at five o'clock, okay?”
This decorated fellow, by the way, is worth a special mention. Christmas “tree” is probably not the right term, because surely no real tree can grow with such geometric precision. It was hung with baubles, garlands and other frippery to the point of no return, and was a living (or rather, non-living) example of American exaggeration. Everything has to be a little bigger, more colorful, more extravagant than anywhere else in the world. You just have to love the Yanks for it. But back to the actual event. After my mother had decided on the meeting point, Reinhardt now took out his wallet and handed Tim and me $50 each.
"Here, but that doesn't mean you have to spend it all in the next few hours.”
Hm, I had seen a few things in the Star Wars shop that I would have liked to have bought – but they would have gone over both the budget and the baggage allowance for the return flight.
"Right, off you go, you're hardly going to be able to be kept back anyway. Make sure you don't lose sight of each other. And Tim: you stick with Danny, right? Do what he tells you. Have fun you two.”
I wasn't so sure whether I liked this role as a big brother. Sure, it was fun to take care of the “little one” – on the other hand, I didn't want him to see me only as an “authority figure”. Well, if necessary, I would clarify that with him when the time came.
Mom wished us a pleasant time as well, and then we were finally able to leave. I really liked the two “oldies,” but I preferred to explore Disney World with someone my own age. Tim seemed to feel the same way, because he couldn't get enough distance between us and the old folks either.
“Phew, finally alone! I thought they'd never leave us in peace.“
Yup, Tim felt the same way I did!
”Well then, what's our next destination?”
We took a look at the map together, then a look at the terrain, and we were on our way to the Muppet Show – or, to be precise, to “Jim Henson's Muppet Vision 3-D”. As the name suggests, this is a three-dimensional adaptation of the famous puppet show. At the entrance, appropriate glasses were distributed, the waiting time until the next show was shortened by appearances of various Muppets on video monitors, and a few minutes later we were sitting in a real theater. The show that began was ... simply breathtaking! It's a very strange feeling when suddenly a car rushes out of the screen towards you. I jumped in my seat and was about to cower down. Not a good idea, because Tim next to me had similar thoughts, so we bumped heads.
“Ouch!”
“Likewise!”
Now, of course, some will say: They knew what was coming. 3-D says it all. Right! But just think of it when you are carried away by the action! By the way, we weren't the only ones who reacted like that. Fortunately, the collision wasn't particularly violent; the shock was greater than the pain, so we were able to continue enjoying the show. We winced (like everyone else in the theater) a few more times, but we were able to avoid further physical collisions.
By the way, knowledge of the English language is very helpful. You don't need it for the rides, but the shows are only really fun if you understand what is being said. Tim and I had no problems with our school English – we understood not only the played but also the spoken jokes.
And another thing: whether language, music or special effects – everything is extremely loud. Thomas may be used to that from his sisters arguing – but it totally freaked me out at first. You get used to it over time, but subsequent damage cannot be ruled out. (Which can be quite pleasant if you no longer hear your significant other snoring. Which, however, requires having one, which brings us back to the tiresome topic of lonely Danny.)
Tim and I decided after the Muppets Show, in any case, to insert a short break to recharge the spent energies. Because the Disney people came to the completely correct conclusion that starving guests do not represent good advertising, we did not need to search long until we ran across a hot dog stand. We treated ourselves to a hot dog and a bottle of Sprite each and then looked for a shady spot to consume the dearly bought food (2 dollars 50 for a 0.5 bottle of Sprite – phew). By the way, you can purchase a very useful accessory for the bottles – a carrying strap that allows you to hang the bottles around your neck. This leaves your hands free, and you always need free hands at Disney.
As I said, we sat down on a strategically well-placed bench and first devoted ourselves to the hot dogs. After our spirits had been refreshed in this way, we leaned back comfortably and watched the colorful hustle and bustle for a while. Meanwhile, huge crowds were on the move, and since “people watching” was one of my favorite pastimes anyway, I really enjoyed it. I mean, the more people, the greater the chances of a few really nice sights null
Tim watched me watching the people for a while, then it got boring for him.
“Well, anyone you're interested in?“
I grinned at him.
”I've already seen a few that I wouldn't mind.“
”You're a dirty mind. And you're supposed to be a role model for me. Tell me, what type of guy do you like best?”
“Hm, let me think hard. Blond, slim, athletic – but not a bodybuilder, more in the direction of a footballer or swimmer – intelligent, funny, about my age.”
There was, of course, a much shorter answer, but I couldn't bring myself to say, “Just look in a mirror.” To be honest, I didn't have much hope left for Tim in this matter. Don't ask me why, it was just a feeling.
“Don't fall for an American here, or are you looking for a holiday romance?“
”Nah, I want something long-term. With the guy I fall in love with, I want to share not only my bed but also my life. That may sound old-fashioned now, but that's just the way I am.”
“Don't worry, that doesn't sound old-fashioned, it sounds romantic. I couldn't imagine a purely sexual relationship either. Although at the moment I can't really imagine a relationship at all.“ ‘Say, why are we whispering, no one understands us here anyway?’
”I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you.”
Our subsequent flinching was about as intense as the first moment of shock in a 3-D movie. There you are, sitting on a bench far from home at Disney World, and suddenly you're addressed in your native tongue! Japanese wouldn't have surprised me as much; we had already come across a few people with the matching facial features and the inevitable cameras in front of their eyes, but German? And on the neighboring bench, of all places?
After we had recovered somewhat from our shock, we looked in the direction from which the familiar sounds had come. On the bench next to us sat a couple (a heterosexual couple :-), maybe two or three years older than us. Both grinned happily at us and at the same time a little guiltily.
“Excuse me, guys, we really didn't mean to scare you. Bernd can be a little impulsive sometimes.“
”Hey, I just couldn't let that pass me by. By the way, this is Sandra. You already know my name.“
”Ha... hi. I'm Danny, and the guy next to me is Tim."
How long had they been listening to us?
“Nice to meet you. Are you here alone?“
”Our parents let us off the leash, we were probably a little too exhausting for them. Or rather, they were too slow for us.“
”I can imagine. We're here with Sandra's parents, and we preferred to split up right at the entrance.”
“They were afraid that Bernd would drag them into the 'Tower of Terror', so they preferred to give us some money and then slip away themselves.“
Tim and I grinned at each other.
”Sounds familiar."
I took a closer look at our new acquaintances. (I looked at the male part first, of course.) Bernd seemed to be a real giant, to put it mildly. What I could see while sitting convinced me that he was probably at least as tall as Reinhardt. And even today, surpassing his 1.95 is not an everyday occurrence. He had jet-black, relatively short-cropped hair and a goatee. Silver earrings were bulging in both ears. I couldn't see the color of his eyes because of the dark sunglasses. The nose was... well, prominent. Not ugly, but it dominated the face. The mouth below (nonsense, where else should it be!) was quite broad, perfect for the pronounced smile that Bernd was currently sporting. He was wearing a white T-shirt and black jeans. (Did I already mention that I find boys in dungarees extremely erotic?) Okay, time to look elsewhere, lest good old Bernd gets any silly ideas.
Sandra was, and that's surprising enough, not much smaller than her boyfriend. I estimate that she was around 1.85, which she also managed to get under the measuring stick. Long, reddish-brown hair, brown eyes, a snub nose and plump, red lips that invited you to kiss her. If you were into such invitations. Red jeans and a white
T-shirt completed the picture.
While I took all this in, Tim and our counterparts naturally didn't remain idle. Sandra and Bernd were probably scanning us just as thoroughly as we were scanning them, and the silence that arose during this mutual sizing up was soon broken by the only female in the group (okay, that's a cliché now, but females are usually more curious and talkative than guys).
“Say, we overheard a few things earlier, I hope you're not too angry with us, but... are you a couple? I mean, you don't really look like siblings.“
Tim looked at me.
”Are we a couple?“
”Nope."
I just managed to hold back the ”unfortunately.”
“Danny is actually my brother. Stepbrother, to be exact. His mother and my father met a few months ago, and we'll be moving in together at the beginning of the year.“
”I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to offend you. And just for the record, I wouldn't have had a problem with you being a couple either.”
“Okay, then I'm reassured. Tim and I aren't a couple, but I'm still gay. And my little brother seems to want to set me up, or where does the sudden interest in my preferences come from?“
”It's logical, how am I supposed to draw your attention to handsome guys if I don't know what you mean by a handsome guy?”
“Please hold back a little, okay? It's bad enough that Mom is constantly pointing out guys to me on the street and asking me if this one or that one isn't exactly my type.“
”Okay, I'll try. But don't complain afterwards when the love of your life escapes you.“
”Would it be possible to find a topic other than my nonexistent love life?”
Now Bernd intervened.
“Where have you been already?”
I told him what we had done so far, and it turned out that the two of them had been to exactly the same places, albeit in a slightly different order.
"How about you joining Sandra and me? The four of us will have more fun together.”
Tim and I looked at each other and shrugged. Why not?
“Gladly. Where did you want to go next?”
“It's best if we look at the map to see what's best.”
We delved into the info sheet and looked for a suitable route to the next attraction. Tim tapped on a point on the map.
“How about this? 'Backlot Studio Tour', sounds interesting, doesn't it? On the way there, we'll also pass 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids'."
Everyone agreed, so we straightened up and set off. ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids’ turned out to be a children's playground, but what a playground it was! Ten-meter-high blades of grass, a slide designed as a film roll, plus a pony-sized ant. Logically, the place was packed with crowds of children. It wasn't that interesting for us “big kids,” but the little ones were thrilled. We watched the raging chaos for a few minutes, then continued our stroll in the agreed direction.
This time we had to wait a little, a good half an hour passed before it was our turn to set off on the “Disney-MGM Studios Backlot Tour”.
At the beginning we went forward on foot, the highlight was a simulated naval battle with cannon and torpedo fire. A slightly damp affair for the spectators
thing for the audience, but even more so for the two “volunteers” who had been placed on a ship's bridge in the middle of the battlefield!
Afterwards, we were put on a small train (like the ones you sometimes see on the street in Germany, only with many more trailers), and a tour of various parts of the Disney-MGM Studios began. We saw recording studios, but also prop rooms and tailoring workshops, etc. In the outdoor area, there were lots of vehicles from a wide variety of films (Armageddon, Star Wars, Mary Poppins, to name just a few). The last part of the ride was the “Catastrophe Canyon”, where exploding tankers and rushing water threatened to engulf the sightseeing vehicle. Once again, some participants who were sitting in the wrong place were plunged into the water – but we stayed dry. At around 25 degrees Celsius, such external cooling was not absolutely necessary.
After we had completed this ride, we went straight to the next point on the map, a look behind the scenes of “101 Dalmatians”. Trainers showed us how to work with the sweet Dalmatian puppies, after which we were able to see some props and Dalmatian puppets that were used to replace the real puppies in certain movie scenes.
Slowly but surely, we worked our way towards the park's main attraction, the Tower of Terror, or, to give it its full name, “The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror”. You could see and hear it from afar. You could only see the tower, but you could hear the panicked screams of the visitors. The setting is the dilapidated Hollywood Tower Hotel, destroyed by lightning, in which visitors – if they have the courage – take the elevator first slowly up and then at breakneck speed down. It's a freefall down 13 floors! From the outside, you can see people in the elevator cabins through opening sliding doors, at the exact moment when it stops briefly, only to plunge into the depths, accompanied by bloodcurdling screams from the passengers.
When our gang of four was standing in front of the Tower, we were no longer so sure whether it would be a good idea to take the elevator there. In the end, the group dynamic won out, nobody wanted to back down, so we lined up, and just an hour later we were sitting in the elevator going up. During the ride, ghostly corridors appeared before us, but none of us could really concentrate on them. Anyway, all my thoughts were focused on the impending fall, and later, when it was all over, I realized that this tension before the actual fall, this not knowing when exactly it would happen, was probably the worst thing about the whole adventure. Tim, who was sitting next to me, of course, reached for my hand, and we didn't let go until we got up. At some point, the sliding doors that we had already seen from the outside opened, I caught a quick glimpse of the park, then we went down, and in a matter of seconds, we were a rather disheveled group. The feeling during the fall is hard to describe, all my guts felt a strong urge towards the ceiling of the elevator and needed a while afterwards to sort themselves back into their original places. That's roughly what weightlessness must feel like. Our ordeal was repeated once more, and by now I was grateful that I had only had the one hot dog and that we had postponed the next meal until after the tower visit, despite growling stomachs.
After our second fall, we left the area a bit shakily, and our faces probably showed that the tower was not nicknamed “of Terror” for nothing. I for one decided that I didn't need to experience that again. Okay, I had been through it once, now I could talk, but I wasn't keen on a repeat performance. I obviously wasn't alone in this opinion.
"Bernd, never again! Do you understand? My God, when I think that I have to get into an elevator at the hotel again tonight!”
“You can always take the stairs to the twelfth floor.“
”Up is not an alternative, but I'll walk down in the future, you can count on it!"
I looked at Tim, and he was pretty pale too. I guess about as pale as I am at this moment. Well, at least we didn't wet our pants.
We conferred briefly in private and decided that we had earned a little break. Fittingly, there was a large feeding trough with various stands nearby, along with lots of tables, one of which we immediately took. By the way, we were now on Sunset Boulevard. Yes, the one in Hollywood. It had been faithfully recreated in the style of the 1940s, and there were even a few chic vintage cars parked along the sides of the road.
Ten minutes later, we had honored various stands with our dollars and were now sitting at our richly laid table. I had the feeling that the experience in the Tower of Terror had made me even hungrier – so I had bought two hamburgers. While we were all tucking into our food, Sandra's curiosity was aroused again.
“How old are you, actually? And where are you from?“
I was much too busy with my filled wobbly rolls to be able to answer, luckily Tim had already devoured his (very surprising that he hadn't taken two at once).
”Danny is already seventeen, and I will be in March. We live in Leipzig. And what about you?”
“We're both twenty. I was born and raised in Berlin, Bernd is originally from Hannover, but is now studying in Berlin. We met at university."
Oh dear, Prussian alarm! A line from a song by the infamous Leipzig cabaret artist Jürgen Hart immediately came to mind. “But when the Saxon comes to Berlin, they don't like him there, they want to pull him over, they want to argue with him.“ On the other hand, we had been together for a few hours now, and they didn't seem too bad. Although Bernd was only a ‘temporary Prussian’ anyway.
”And you're here with your parents?”
“Yes. We got engaged two months ago, and this is kind of an engagement present from my parents. They really wanted to come, though. But that sounds worse than it is; we have our own rental car, and our room is in a different part of the hotel.“
”Sounds like pretty cool parents.“
”Sandra's parents are really great; they immediately accepted me into the family.”
“And what about your own?“
Bernd grimaced painfully, which of course didn't go unnoticed by my curious brother.
”Oops, sorry, it's probably a sensitive subject. Forget the question."
Sandra's fiancé continued to look pained.
“Never mind. It's true, it's a sensitive subject, but maybe it's better if you know about it. Especially Danny.“
Huh?
”My parents no longer exist for me. It's a pretty unpleasant story, the short version is this: I have an older sister. Antje is a lesbian, and when she told our parents, they kicked her out of the house. It was like, 'We don't have a daughter anymore.' Well, I left with her, so now they don't have a son either. And as long as they don't make up with Antje, I don't want anything to do with them.”
Wow. Now that's what I call sibling solidarity. Bernd had just qualified for an early canonization in my eyes. Now it was also clear to me why the two of them didn't seem to have a problem with me being gay. Okay, I didn't have too many worries about Sandra in this regard anyway; girls rarely seem to have problems with gay guys. With straight guys, however, it didn't look quite so good, unfortunately. So Bernd was... well, not necessarily a glorious exception, but probably a member of a minority. A quick glance at Tim showed me that he was staring at our counterpart with eyes as wide as mine.
I decided that, despite everything, it was advisable to change to a topic less burdened with emotions.
“How long have you been here? And how long are you staying?“
Sandra was delighted at the opportunity.
”We've been here in Orlando for a whole week, today is our last day. Tomorrow morning we're heading down to Key West. And you?”
“We're staying here for four days, then we're going to the Kennedy Space Center, and then down the coast, via Fort Lauderdale and Miami, also to Key West. Maybe we'll run into each other there again.“
”Unfortunately, that won't work, we're only staying there for two days, then we're driving up the Gulf Coast in three days, and then we have to go back to Germany.”
“That's a shame. But tell me, since you've been here so long, what do you think is a must-see?“
Now Bernd had also recovered enough to join in the conversation.
”Well, I liked Epcot the best. Especially the 'World Showcase', where the crazy Americans have recreated eleven different countries on a lake. You'll laugh your head off at Germany, for the Americans, Bavaria is synonymous with Germany. Every proper German wears leather pants, yodels and holds a beer stein. But the 'bratwurst with sauerkraut' tastes quite good, and for a change, something familiar on your plate isn't bad either."
Sandra, however, had an extremely important addition to contribute.
“Beware of the brass band! They regularly pick on innocent spectators, who then have to Schuhplatteln with them! My cheeky fiancé was promptly caught, and when he acted more than a little clumsy, they couldn't believe he was German!”
I made a very big, red entry in my memory. I could easily do without such a display.
“And, Sandra, what did you like best?”
"That's easy to answer. Animal Kingdom. For a change, there are live animals to see, not just puppets. And there's a great 3-D movie theater in the ‘Tree of Life’.”
At the mention of this cinematic achievement, Tim and I burst
out laughing, which seemed to confuse our two companions slightly.
"Come on, Tim, tell them what we have to contribute on the subject of ‘3-D cinema’.”
My brother was only too happy to comply with the request, with the result that Sandra and Bernd now fell into endless laughing fits. When they had calmed down somewhat, Bernd showed us his right forearm.
"Look, these little scratches are from Sandra's fingernails. She gave them to me in the scene that Tim just described.”
This finally lifted the mood, and the slight discord on the subject of “Bernd's parents” was forgotten. After we had also destroyed all our food, we strolled comfortably along Sunset Boulevard through the hustle and bustle of the crowd. A two-man comedy group had set up on a corner, and they also included spectators in their performance. So the most important thing to remember is: never stand too far in front.
Incidentally, the weather was ideal for exploring the park: sunshine with fluffy clouds, not too warm, not too cold. For me, this meant lots of handsome guys, covered by relatively little fabric. The white-clad cleaning boys, who whizzed through the streets on roller skates and immediately swept up every little piece of paper or whatever fell under the term “dirt”, offered a particularly interesting sight. Surely not a particularly pleasant job, but as I said, these tanned, muscular guys were a great sight.
At a leisurely pace, we now walked in the direction of the meeting point arranged with our (that is, Tim's and my) parents, the large Christmas tree directly in front of the “Great Movie Ride”, which we then checked out right away, since there was still plenty of time. A ride through American film history, with Casablanca, the Wizard of Oz, Alien and other films. Quite interesting, and it shows once again that Americans do nothing, absolutely nothing, on foot if they can possibly avoid it.
After we had made this trip as well, it was time to say goodbye to our new friends, who we had found so surprisingly. It was a real shame that they had to leave the next day, but that was just life. While Tim and Bernd took a quick look at a souvenir stand where they could buy luminous wristbands and similar things, Sandra took me aside.
“Well then, have a nice vacation. And good luck with Tim.“
I must have looked quite bewildered, because she laughed softly to herself.
”Don't even try to deny it, you have a crush on the boy, I can see that from a mile away.”
“Hm, okay, guilty as charged. But it's not going to happen, he's probably 'straight as an arrow', as the locals say. Or have you noticed something about him too?”
“Well, he likes you, a lot. Whether it's just as a brother or whether there's more to it than that is really hard to say. In any case, I wouldn't give up all hope completely. So, where are the two of them? Oh yes, over there. Come on, we really should say goodbye slowly, my parents are expecting Bernd and me at the exit.”
So we wandered over to the souvenir stand I mentioned earlier, where Bernd gave his girlfriend a glowing plastic rose and then the two of them said goodbye to Tim and me.
My brother had bought himself a glowing ring, which he now hung around his neck, and shortly afterwards he delighted me with a similar item, only mine glowed blue and his glowed red.
“Danny, what time is it?“
”Quarter to five. Wait a minute, where's your watch?“
”I must have lost it; the wristband was already slightly torn this morning. Fortunately, it was just a cheap plastic one. On to the next topic. I'm thirsty. Do you want to get a quick drink before Dad and Maria show up?”
Good idea. I spotted a beverage cart less than twenty meters away. I handed Tim a five-dollar bill.
“Here, please get me a Coke. I just want to look around here at the stand quickly.”
"Okay.”
Tim left, and I let my eyes wander over the displays. I was looking for something very specific that I had seen a few times in the park in the last few hours. Ah yes, there it was! I paid, and at that moment my eye caught on another item, and I just couldn't resist whipping out my wallet again. Safely stowing the money again and holding my purchases in my hands, I looked around for Tim and spotted him on a bench, practically directly under the Christmas tree we had agreed on as a meeting point. I strolled over and sat down next to him.
“Did you buy yourself something nice?”
“Nope.”
"But you bought something?”
“Yes. But not for me, for you. Give me your left hand."
Tim looked at me in puzzlement, but did as he was told. The next moment, his jaw dropped when he saw me strap a dark blue watch with subtle Disney motifs around his arm.
“So, so you know what time it is again. It's not a luxury item, but it will do the job.“
”Cool, Danny, thanks. But you didn't have to do that.“
”Oh yes I did. Now the other hand.”
Now Tim was completely confused, and I had to help him a little. At first he didn't really know what I was attaching to his other wrist, but then he realized it, and his eyes got bigger and bigger.
“You can't be serious!“
”Oh yes I am!“
”I'm not a little kid anymore!“
”Your father has given me responsibility for you, and that was not easy in the crowd during the day. Now that it is getting dark, I don't want to lose you under any circumstances. So no back talk!”
Well, what had I done to him? Quite simply: during the course of the day, I had noticed several parents who had put their small children 'on a leash'. Strictly speaking, they were brightly colored plastic spirals, similar to telephone cords, which were attached to a child's arm with a bracelet and held at the other end by a loop. This way, the children could not get lost even in the thickest of crowds. And I had now put such a 'child leash' on my little brother, who was staring at me in disbelief.
"I don't want anyone to be able to say that I didn't take proper care of you. So, little one, I think we should take a look around to see if we can see the rest of the party standing around somewhere.”
I rose, but Tim was still so perplexed that he didn't react. So I used my newfound power for the first time and pulled on the rope. That now attracted my brother's attention.
"Hey, don't pull so hard, I'm coming already.”
Well, was that all? Where was his loud protest? Never mind. I let my eyes wander over the people, and indeed, about a hundred meters away I could make out Reinhardt. Not that hard with this giant. He was doing the same as me, scanning the crowd, but hadn't spotted us yet. I pointed this out to Tim.
“Where? Ah, there. Great. Come on, we'll sneak up on him from behind.”
And off he went. Well, he wanted to be off, but now he had an appendage. This appendage – me, that is – he now pulled with all the strength of his swimmer legs to the opposite side of the square from Reinhardt's current line of vision. I had no choice but to follow him. That's not really how it was supposed to be with the leash, but I resigned myself to my fate.
Three minutes and a few quick ducking maneuvers later, we found ourselves ten meters behind Mom and Reinhardt. We crept up, then Tim squeezed in from behind between the two.
"Are you looking for someone in particular?”
The result of this raid were two powerfully wincing parent units, as well as some dark promises of a cruel revenge. I had held back from the actual “scaring process” and was therefore hopeful of avoiding this revenge.
When everyone had calmed down a bit, we discussed what to do next. Tim's father took out his program booklet and flipped through it.
“Look here. There's a big light and laser show at six-thirty, do you want to go see it?”
That sounded quite promising, so we agreed immediately.
“Good, but then we should hurry to get there so that we can still get a few good places.“
”Boys, if we get lost in the crowd, we'll meet back here at eight.“
”Don't worry, Mom, Tim can't get lost.”
“What do you mean?"
I pulled on Tim's leash so that his right arm was raised vertically. Mom and Reinhardt now noticed for the first time what was attached to my little brother's wrist. Reinhardt choked on his own spit and had to be helped out by my mother with fierce blows to the back. I put on a satisfied face, but Tim looked a little embarrassed. However, he had a slight smile on his face.
After a few minutes, our legal guardians had calmed down again, and a still slightly panting Reinhardt turned to my mother.
"Your son had a really good idea. But now that we're all together again, maybe we should modify it a little.”
Uh-oh, what was he up to? That sounded extremely suspicious, and I cast a suspicious glance at the man who had spilled the cola. My mother also seemed to suspect something and wanted to know exactly what it was.
"What do you mean, Reinhardt?”
“Shouldn't we buy another leash so you can safely lead Tim through the crowds and I'll take care of Danny. Kind of like a family leash.”
No! Reinhardt really had that, I knew him so well by now. And mom was ready for anything, see cold water as a wake-up call. To my great relief, a quick glance around showed me that the souvenir stand had since moved on. Nevertheless, a little clarification couldn't hurt.
“Not necessary, Reinhardt, I'm old enough to take care of myself AND him, unlike Tim.“
”What do you think, Maria? Do we believe him?”
“Well, he hasn't disappointed us so far, so benefit of the doubt. But I think we should really get going now. Come on, you two, let's go!”
We made our way to the arena, which, by the way, was located directly below the aforementioned Tower of Terror. Tim walked very close to me, probably so that no one could easily see how captivated he was by my appearance. Well, he probably didn't have to worry too much about that because of the approaching darkness.
At around half past five we had reached the scene of the announced event, and we also found relatively good places right next to a corridor. Reinhardt took the seat right next to this corridor – which he would regret later. But first we intercepted one of the many hawkers and treated ourselves to drinks again – a day at the Disney Park is pretty exhausting. The arena continued to fill up, and half an hour before the show began, it was full to capacity. We were already preparing for another thirty minutes of waiting when suddenly something happened behind us.
Two of the street comedians that Tim and I had encountered earlier in the day came stomping down our aisle, carrying a chair, a ladder and a flashlight. Once they arrived at the “stage level,” so to speak, they set about heating up the audience. But wait, I realize I haven't said a single word about this “stage”! Please bear with me. So, the amphitheater was built in a semicircle, and at the foot of the rows of seats was a lake! In the middle of this lake, in turn, was a huge rock with a stage carved halfway up it.
In the meantime, the two entertainers had set up a chair and a ladder, climbed on them (each on one of the parts), shone their torches into the audience and made their jokes. This went on for about a quarter of an hour, the masses (and we too) got into a real sense of anticipation for what was to come. Then the two colorfully dressed Disney employees packed up their stuff and slowly made their way up the stairs in our hallway towards the top of the dam. They had to pose for photos all the while and, of course, they were carrying a fair amount of luggage. But not for long. When they reached us, the ladder carrier took a look at Reinhardt and shortly after that Tim's father was sworn in as a packhorse! Well, no wonder, the comedian was rather of slight build, quite in contrast to my future stepfather. He made the best of a bad job and resigned himself to his fate, which was to carry the ladder up the rest of the slope (and that was about two-thirds of the way up). Well, in the end he got some applause for it. I guess Reinhardt had learned by now that you shouldn't sit in the most exposed places at Disney World. The other three of us had a great time, and Tim in particular enjoyed this performance.
The “volunteer” had just sat down next to my mother again when the lights slowly but surely went out and the darkness was only broken by the flashes of the cameras. Then what I had feared happened: music at a volume that threatened to damage eardrums. Okay, I'll make this short, this isn't supposed to be a travelogue. For the next thirty minutes, we marveled at a show of light, laser, fire, dance and music. All kinds of Disney characters appeared, some on the aforementioned rock stage, some on boats that circled the stage. And as I said, there was fire and light everywhere. A tip for anyone who might find themselves jetting off to Florida: it's always worth hanging around at Disney parks until the evening, the fireworks and other light shows are worth it.
Half an hour later, it was all over, and the crowds started to clear out of the arena for the second show of the evening, which started an hour later. I tried to sort out my ears, and after a while I was even able to understand words spoken at a normal volume again.
"Well, boys, that was wonderful, wasn't it?”
“HUH? SORRY, PAPS, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!“
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had suffered from the volume. My mother looked worried.
”Tim, are you okay? Can't you really hear anything?”
“I'm fine, Maria. I'm fine. But I don't want to go through that every day, it really ruins the rest of the show."
Well, at least for the next three days we would have to live with it, because I feared that the conditions in the other theme parks would not be any better in this regard.
After a glance at the info booklet, we let ourselves be driven towards New York Street by the crowds, a street that has been recreated in the style of the metropolis, partly with plastic facades and partly with just painted houses. Clothes lines hang over the street, and “real” New York traffic noise is played. Tim and I had already seen this street earlier in the day, but now a lot had changed. 3D glasses were handed out at various points, which we naturally didn't miss. We had already seen the Christmas decorations in broad daylight, but now they were brightly lit, and with the glasses, many elements transformed into moving images, for example, angels fluttered their wings. Christmas music was now playing, and it was snowing! Of course, only artificial snow, i.e. foam flakes, but still.
We walked comfortably down the street, and at the end of it another attraction awaited us, “Osborn's Wonder of Light,” which could only be enjoyed in the dark. The good Mr. Osborn was the proud father of a daughter who wanted a festively lit house from him for Christmas. Anyone who has ever seen American Christmas movies is already familiar with the American urge to hang lots of fairy lights on the outside of their house – but for Mr. Osborn, this got a little out of hand, even by American standards. The whole house was hung with little lights, and because a few years later that was no longer enough, the caring family man also bought the two neighboring houses to expand his world of lights. When that too became too small, the whole scene was moved to Disney World, where a several hundred-meter-long tour is now illuminated by over 4 million lights. Special glasses were used here as well, so that “normally” illuminated trees – i.e. those with 500 or more bulbs hanging from them – looked as if they were turning. Everything, absolutely everything was illuminated, even the garden chairs in front of the houses. A truly amazing sight, even if you could only shake your head at it. Oh, by the way, the Christmas music played here was even turned down to a tolerable volume!
When we had left this behind us, it was already past 8 o'clock, and we decided to slowly make our way back to the hotel. At the park's exit, I freed Tim from his leash, and shortly thereafter we were sitting in the bus. When we arrived at the hotel, we decided to have a late supper at the steak restaurant. While we were waiting for our food, we told each other how we had spent the day. The scene in which we had the surprising encounter with other German tourists, as expected, caused great laughter among Reinhardt and Mutti.
“Well, you should have expected that. Half the world meets here. I hope it wasn't too embarrassing.“
”We survived it. I'm used to similar situations with you, Mom.“
”What do you mean?”
“Well, Tim was just about to ask me which of the guys walking in front of us would best suit my taste. And that's exactly what Sandra and Bernd heard. It reminded me somehow of certain scenes in ice cream parlors, and don't tell me you don't know what I'm getting at.”
Reinhardt and Mutti burst out laughing again, but Tim looked at me somewhat guiltily.
"Danny, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. Are you very angry with me?”
“Oh come on, Tim, where did you get that from?” ”I'm not angry at all, it's not like it's top secret. If I had a problem with people's reactions, I shouldn't have told anyone. So calm down. It was funny, too. And I'm pretty glad it was you who said that no one here understands us anyway. That was embarrassing!”
I grinned at my brother, and the corners of his mouth went up again, too. He looked much better that way, too.
Shortly afterwards, our food arrived, and my T-bone steak turned out to be a plate-filling monstrosity. But don't worry, I wasn't going to let a piece of meat get me down! Especially after such a strenuous day, I had no problem at all eating the plate completely empty – Tim felt the same way, by the way.
After dinner, we went to our suite, and both Tim and I decided to just quickly jump in the shower and then disappear into bed. I shooed my brother into the bathroom first, and while Tim disappeared, I stripped down to my underwear and then zapped a little through the infinite variety of TV channels. Fifteen minutes later, Tim emerged from the bathroom in his pajamas, and I set out to wash off the dust of the day. The hot tub actually looked tempting, especially considering my somewhat lame bones, but I really couldn't muster the energy for it now, so I settled for a quick shower.
When I left the bathroom, the TV was playing without sound, and a quick glance at the other bed showed me that Tim was already fast asleep. The little one was apparently really exhausted. Well, no wonder, I probably wouldn't have had any trouble falling asleep either. I turned off the TV and Tim's bedside lamp, then I lay down in my bed (which could easily have accommodated two or three more people). I reached for the switch on my lamp and then the room was plunged into darkness. While trying to go over the events of the day in my mind, I must have fallen asleep pretty quickly.
What a restful night. I hadn't slept this well in a long time. Probably a little too well, because I was not awakened by a friendly “good morning,” but by something extremely cold and extremely wet on my face. If we had been proud dog owners, I would have thought of a corresponding tongue bath, but that was out of the question. I wanted to free myself from this unpleasant thing, but quickly realized that both of my arms were being held mercilessly. So I tried a verbal escape plan.
“Damn it, what is this! Whoever this is, leave me alone!“
”Tim, did you understand something?“
Aha! The voice of my future stepfather came from the left, so it was probably him who held my arm there as if in a vice.
”Nope, Dad. Sounded kind of Arabic. But it could have been Chinese, too.”
Tim from the right. And I realized that my words hadn't come across as clearly as they had left my mouth because of whatever was on my face.
At that moment, another participant in the drama entered the stage.
“Well, did you finally get the late riser up?” ‘If I were you, I wouldn't have just used the washcloth, but a larger portion of cold water. Danny would otherwise oversleep even the strongest earthquake.’
Aha! I should have guessed. My devoted mother was the author of this unfair attack.
“I think he's awake now, Maria. He's already let out a few inarticulate sounds. Should we let go of him?“
”Okay. But you should be quick and make sure he doesn't catch you. My son is quite vindictive when it comes to rude waking methods.“
”Thanks for the warning. Tim, on three.”
Just you wait. I tensed my muscles in preparation for a sudden rush on 'three'.
'One... two...'
It didn't come to three, because my blindness caused by the something on my face was shamelessly exploited, and on 'two' my two captors had already jumped away before I could even react. But maybe that was even better, because actually I should probably direct my desire for revenge rather at the instigator, that is to say my Mom. With a quick movement, I wiped what I could now identify as one of my washcloths from my face, flung the blanket off me and jumped out of bed, to bridge the ten steps to my mother with sparkling eyes full of murderous intent.
“Just you wait! Don't think you're going to get away with this!“
Halfway to her, I suddenly heard Tim scream in shock.
”Danny, look out! Stop!”
Before this really penetrated to my brain, however, everything was already too late. My feet got caught, and in a somewhat inelegant flight maneuver, I landed lengthwise on the soft carpet. Fortunately, I was quick-witted enough to catch my fall with both hands, but nevertheless, my lungs pumped out the air, and it took me a moment to orient myself again. Damn it, who or what had pulled my legs out from under me? I hadn't seen any obstacles or tripping hazards, had I? While I was catching my breath and thinking about this, my mother came running to me.
“Danny, are you all right? Are you hurt?”
Was I hurt? Apparently not, at least not very.
“I'm fine, I've had worse crashes.”
I rose on hands and knees and looked at my mother, who had crouched down in front of me. First, relief spread across her face, then the corners of her mouth began to twitch suspiciously, and shortly thereafter she burst into peals of laughter, which Tim and Reinhardt joined at the same moment. I really hadn't expected so much sympathy.
“What are you laughing at?“
The result was that everyone laughed even louder. Then Tim managed to get a few clear words out.
”Danny, your ass isn't that beautiful that you have to show it to us over and over again. The one time when you were sick was actually enough.”
Huh? What did he mean by that? I started to get up and looked down at myself – and realized a few things.
“Oh shi...t!”
My short pajama bottoms had come off, probably the elastic had broken, and was lying at my feet. That had probably also caused my fall. I, for one, was standing completely naked – and I could have done without that. All those involved had already seen me like this, Reinhardt and Tim during my illness, and Mutsch anyway. But that had happened, so to speak, in a state of emergency, and even then I had been extremely embarrassed. I bent down and reached for the irresponsible piece of cloth to pull it back into its rightful place, but overlooked the fact that I was standing on my trousers with one foot. These took my efforts, which I made with all my might, very badly, and with an unpleasant sound I had one half of the trousers in my right hand, the other was still lying on the floor under my foot.
"Damn it!”
“Danny, mind your language!“
Mom was somewhat sensitive about swearing, but at the moment I didn't really care.
”Should I be bursting with joy?“
”You should quickly find something else to wear. Here in America, people are locked up for such behavior. Indecent exposure, I think they call it.”
“Thanks for the tip. You just don't need to look.“
”All right, all right. Come on, guys, I think we should leave Danny alone for a while. And you better hurry up, we're leaving for breakfast in twenty minutes."
After these words left my mother's mouth, she
left the room – Tim and Reinhardt in tow.
Wonderful. Once again I had contributed to the general amusement. The only question remaining was when someone would amuse me? Before I could dwell on this point, I noticed the clock and realized that I'd better hurry if I was interested in breakfast. And I definitely wanted some. So I quickly washed up, got dressed, and then joined the other three. Breakfast was similar to the day before, as was the departure for the park, with the only difference being that this time the destination was not MGM Studios but Epcot Center.
This time I will be a bit more reserved with the descriptions, because nothing happened except for the attractions that would have been worth mentioning. Except that not only Tim was put in the leash purchased the day before – no, Reinhardt made good on his threat and got one for me too! And mom, who had still been of the opinion the day before that such a safety cord would not be necessary for me, kept herself elegantly back. Typical, once again.
Fortunately, we were both released after a few minutes – but not without urgent admonitions regarding our behavior and with the warning that we would be put back on a leash very quickly if we misbehaved.
Back to the park itself. First, we entered the shiny silver golf ball, the landmark of Epcot, called “Spaceship Earth”. In it, we took a slow ride through the history of communication from the Stone Age to the future. In several adjoining exhibition halls, the most modern computers and – most importantly *g* – the most modern computer games were on display and could be tried out.
The next stop was “The Living Seas,” which is all about the sea and underwater world. Manatees, sharks, rays and a dolphin show were the highlights. Surprisingly, I couldn't persuade the water freak Tim to take a ride in the shark tank.
One of the highlights of Epcot is definitely the 3D show “Honey, I shrunk the audience,” which is based on the movie “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.” Except that here it's the audience that gets shrunk. The effects, which we had already seen in the 3D shows at the MGM Studios, caused plenty of shrieking in the audience.
Our path then led us to the “World Showcase” – which the two Berliners had already told us about. This time, Reinhardt was also smart enough to stay as far away as possible from all the Disney employees – with the result that he was able to watch other, less cautious spectators doing the Schuhplattler with a broad grin on his face.
So the day passed, again quite exhausting but eventful. Of course, I must not forget a tip: When it gets dark, you should definitely take the monorail – the brightly lit parks are a great sight!
We left Epcot at about 6 p.m. – although fireworks were announced for 9 p.m., we couldn't bring ourselves to wait another three hours. This time we settled for a fast food dinner.
At the hotel, we discussed what else we could do with the evening, and I actually let Tim persuade me to visit the hotel pool. We changed into our swimsuits in our room, and while I put on my usual baggy swimming shorts, Tim decided to tease me a little by putting on the skimpiest, tightest swimming trunks I had ever seen. Did he even know what he was doing to me?
“Hey Tim, no swimming costume today?“
”Why? Do I need one? Am I supposed to swim a race with you?“
”Even that wonder would be of no use to you. But aren't you afraid that the prudish Americans might confiscate you in that get-up?“
”Why? I'm dressed appropriately for the occasion, aren't I?”
Well, I'd better refrain from any further explanation and instead reach for the other things we would need. After a brief farewell, we walked to the hotel pool. A large pool with blue water, surrounded by sun loungers under palm trees, with a bar right next to it. Tim was impressed.
"Man, it's just gorgeous!”
Well, if I had any interest in water, I would probably agree with his assessment. But I just mumbled half-convincingly to myself and first looked for a comfortable spot – a few meters away from the edge of the pool, of course. Tim had no such inhibitions; he just threw his things on a deck chair next to mine, and the next moment he jumped into the water with an elegant pike. Unfortunately, my hope that he would lose his swimming trunks on this occasion was not fulfilled.
I decided to let my water-crazy brother burn off some energy on his own for a while and get myself something good from the bar instead. I chose a rather exotic-looking drink, which I carried back to my deck chair. I sat down and let my eyes wander over the scene. To be honest, there were a few others besides Tim who got my blood pumping. Note: in such situations, baggy swimming trunks with lots and lots of fabric are extremely reassuring. At least for the cautious, modest mind.
Unfortunately, I was not granted to revel in these contemplations undisturbed for a long time, because soon I got most unwelcome company. Mainly unwelcome because female. A tall, suspiciously silicone-looking blonde sat down on the seat next to me and couldn't resist chatting me up. In English, by the way, but I'm not going to go and reproduce the original language here!
“Hi! What are you doing here alone?”
I almost answered, “enjoying the perfect peace and quiet that was still present until just now,” but somehow I didn't manage it. It must have been because of my upbringing, which was much too good for such cases.
"Recovering after a long day.”
“Interesting. By the way, my name is Heidi.“
Now I had to force myself not to burst out laughing. Heidi! That seemed extremely fitting to me. She looked exactly like a Heidi. However, I would have preferred Heidi colleague Peter. Much rather.
”Danny."
Unfortunately, my hope of discouraging her with such a curt reply was not fulfilled.
“You're not from here, are you? You have a funny accent somehow.“
Well, thank you very much. Maybe we should continue the conversation in German.
”I'm from Germany.“
”Awesome! I've never spoken to a German before."
Let alone done more, I guess. And Heidi wouldn't have much luck with me either.
“Can I see you in your Lederhosen?"
Snort! Great, the Disney propaganda had already hit home with her! Apart from that, the way she stared at me and batted her eyelashes, she probably wanted to help me out of my (non-existent) Lederhosen rather than see me in them. Help!
“Sorry, but I don't own anything like that.“
Even this slightly brusque reply didn't seem to dissuade her from her rather unambiguous intentions.
”Pity. So, what are you doing here? Do you fancy doing something together?”
Now I was almost ready to jump up and into the pool despite my fear of water. Fortunately, I caught Tim's eye, who grinned as he looked in my direction. Hopefully he could read lips, because I now silently shouted “Save me!” to him.
"Sorry, I have to take care of my little brother.”
Luckily, Tim didn't notice, otherwise he might have made me squirm on purpose. I saw him sauntering over to us, drenched to the skin, and was much more interested in the sight than in the blonde poison next to me.
"Hey, Danny, who's that? You're not being unfaithful to Olga, are you?”
Olga? Who the hell was Olga?
“This is Heidi. Heidi, my brother Tim.”
The two looked at each other appraisingly. Although Tim's look was less appraising than rather contemptuous.
“Sweetheart, you'd better leave my brother alone. He's not available, and his girlfriend is the daughter of a Russian mafia boss. It would be a stupid idea to mess with her. At least if you still want to enjoy looking at your reflection."
Ah! That's who my clever brother meant by Olga! Heidi looked back and forth between Tim and me.
“But she doesn't have to find out, does she?“
”I wouldn't be so sure about that. Who knows, maybe she's got someone watching her sweetheart?"
You could see her mind working. That is, if there was something in there that was able to work. Or maybe it was just a bale of straw that had tipped over.
“Oh God, I just remembered that I was supposed to meet my mother! I'm sorry, but I have to go!”
The next moment she shot off like a rocket, taking the opportunity to slip on the wet ground at the edge of the pool. A muscle-bound blond guy just managed to catch her – and thus became the next victim of her advances. The pretext of the motherly meeting was of course immediately forgotten. We watched them leave the pool area together.
“Too bad, Danny, maybe the blonde giant would have been more to your taste. Now she's got him hooked.“
”Nah, I'm not into bodybuilders. Who knows, there's probably more chemicals coursing through his body than in our chemistry classroom at school.“
Tim laughed out loud.
”You might be right about that.”
“By the way, thanks for saving me. I haven't experienced anything that awful in a long time.“
”Well, that's what you get for looking so good.“
Huh, did I hear that right? Did Tim just give me a compliment?
”I don't know what you mean. I really don't look that special.”
“Oh yes. And that's why you had hardly sat down in the chair when good old Heidi set about trying to land you. Believe me, you're bound to make quite a few girls weak in the knees.”
Wonderful, just what I needed. I hadn't noticed it at home, but practically all the female beings with whom I was in closer contact knew that they didn't have to get their hopes up in that regard.
“Huh, I'll have to do something about that as soon as possible. What do you think, should I get a bald head? Or get a thick nose ring?“
”Not a good idea. After all, you just want to scare the girls, not the boys who might have an eye on you.”
Unfortunately, he had hit the nail on the head. Although, stupidly, I hadn't yet met any boys who were keeping an eye on me.
“So, what should I do?”
Tim thought about it for a moment, then his face brightened.
"I've got it! We'll just turn you into a 120 percent gay! Listen: from now on, only skintight clothes, maybe some leather and latex. And a golden earring on the right ear. Then you have to work on your pronunciation. You can manage a proper lisp, can't you? You also have to start waving your arms around when you speak. And of course waggle your ass when you walk.”
“Aaarggh! I'm sorry, but that's not going to work! That would scare off exactly those gay guys that I definitely don't want to scare off. I'm hoping for a normal guy, and I definitely couldn't get one of those interested in me dressed like that. Not to mention what Mutsch and Reinhardt would say about it.”
“You're a pretty difficult patient, you know that? You don't make any demands at all, do you?“
”Me? Demands? Not that I know of.“
”Well, then you'll just have to live with the fact that people from the wrong side of the tracks will continue to try to pick you up.”
“Well, I'll survive it. Now I have you, you will hopefully continue to rush to my rescue, won't you?“
”What wouldn't you do for your big brother. Well, I won't be that way.“
”Thank you very much.“
”You should maybe get a picture of 'Olga' and put it in your wallet. It'll be more convincing.”
“Okay. What does a Russian mobster's daughter look like?“
”I don't know. More important is the grim bodyguard, who should also be in the picture.“
”That doesn't exactly make it easier to find a suitable picture.“
”You'll do fine. It's for a good cause, after all.“
”That's also true.”
“So, what about it, are you coming into the water now?“
I must have looked rather doubtful or desperate.
”Come on, I promise I'll take care of you. You're guaranteed not to drown. Besides, if you're in the water, the risk of another female attack is significantly lower.”
It was the last argument that made me confront my archenemy water, against my better judgment. Tim thoughtfully stayed with me in regions where I could still stand without difficulty, and after a while I had temporarily forgotten most of my fears. I even let him talk me into sliding down the miserably long slide!
After about half an hour I left the wet element – Tim stayed where he obviously felt most comfortable for another twenty minutes. When he finally had to leave the pool with a heavy heart, we walked back to our room, and after a quick shower we went to bed. Considering that it had been another exhausting day, it didn't take long before the only sound we made was the even breathing that one makes when sleeping.
The next day was December 24th – Christmas Eve. Even a confirmed frostbite like me had to admit that Christmas at 20 degrees plus and under palm trees did not quite come close to the (unfortunately rarely white) Christmas at home.
We had decided to spend the day in the next Disney park, Magic Kingdom, and that's exactly what we did. This is the first, original park, whose most outstanding feature is the fairytale castle. Here, too, of course, everything was decorated for Christmas (or rather, as the Americans imagine Christmas to be).
The attractions were gigantic, as is typical for Disney. At Splash Mountain, I suffered the first serious loss of the trip – my beautiful West Point hat flew off as I rushed down the wild water slide. I then had to replace it with a sinfully expensive Disney hat for $25 – walking under the Florida sun without a hat is not particularly recommended.
We satisfied our hunger on Tom Sawyer's Island, where you have to take a raft to get there. We had ham and cheese sandwiches – which sounds more harmless than it really was. Imagine two large slices of toast, with at least a dozen layers of ham and just as much cheese in between. We had a bag of potato chips on the side. Neither of us needed a second helping.
Other stops were “Pirates of the Caribbean” (you could even see the pirates' hairy, dirty feet), “Jungle Cruise” (a boat ride through an artificial jungle with just as many artificial animals), “Big Thunder Mountain Railroad” (a moderate roller coaster), “Haunted House” (a great haunted house!), “Space Mountain” (a roller roller coaster in complete darkness – never again!), “The ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter” (not for the faint-hearted), “Time Keeper” (a leisurely trip through time in H. G. Wells' time machine), “Peter Pan's Flight” (a kind of cable car through the world of Peter Pan himself) and – of course – the big Disney parade on “Main Street USA”. The day ended with a fireworks display lasting a good ten minutes at the colorfully illuminated “Cinderella's Castle” – the banging of which was almost drowned out by the audience's “Ahs” and “Ohs”.
By the way, anyone who is afraid of large crowds should avoid the Disney parks on such occasions as Christmas at all costs. Sometimes I really felt sorry for small children, who probably didn't take too well to this pushing and shoving. But back to the text and the daily routine.
Afterwards, we went back to the hotel, where the most important part of Christmas was about to take place: the gift-giving. Logically, large gifts had not come to Florida, but none of us would let themselves be taken by little things (in terms of physical size).
I had bought my mother a pair of golden earrings. I had watched her closely for weeks and noticed that she kept turning to a certain page in a catalog and staring at the earrings. When I gave her the jewelry, she was thrilled. It's nice when it's that easy.
Finding something for Reinhardt was a bit more difficult. Fortunately, I had noticed that he carried his money in a rather tattered wallet. So I also had a gift for him, which he seemed pleased about as well. His joy was only slightly dampened when he looked in the change compartment and found a mini tube of stain remover instead of the usual lucky penny. I just couldn't resist that...
And for Tim? Well, the best gift would have been his own swimming pool with Olympic dimensions, but I had the nagging feeling that our small property wasn't the right size for that. So I had a problem. Which, luckily, I was able to get out of the way just in time. I had to call in favors with some people to do that, but that's what connections are for. So I was able to hand my brother an envelope, which he immediately tore open with curiosity. Then his eyes got bigger and bigger.
"Wow! Where did you get those tickets? I was told that everything was sold out!”
Judging by his expression, I had hit the mark. To explain: while I was lying sick at the Bergners', I witnessed Tim coming home extremely disappointed one day. His attempt to get tickets for a mega-concert of various current pop stars taking place in February had failed miserably. I wouldn't have thought that my shy little brother was into such mass events, but suddenly I had an idea for a Christmas present for him. A dozen phone calls later, I had two top tickets, including backstage passes. To top it all off, I didn't have to pay a penny for it. Although I would have spent a lot on Tim, honestly.
“Sorry, trade secret.“
”Those are two tickets. So hopefully you'll come with me, right?“
”Do you want me there? Maybe you can find someone better to go with.“
”Silly. Of course you'll come with me. I'm not going to ruin your chance to see the guys from Natural in person.”
“Okay, if you say so. Josh, I'm coming!“
”That's what I want. And thank you. It's going to be a great evening!"
Obviously, I had hit the mark with my gifts.
Tim gave his father a chic, expensive-looking pair of sunglasses that he had obviously been eyeing up for a while but never got around to buying. For my mother, there was a gold necklace that went perfectly with the earrings I had given her. Which was no wonder – after all, Tim and I had chosen and ordered the items together.
But now, what about me? I tore open the wrapping paper to reveal... an orange rubber hot water bottle!
“Thank you, Tim! You're a really caring brother.”
He grinned at me.
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. But take a closer look, maybe there's something else in there.”
I did so, and sure enough, the hot water bottle felt a bit strange. Shouldn't such a rubber thing be a bit squishy? Well, this one wasn't, and on closer inspection I could see glue spots. Now I was at the end of my tether, and with a strong tug on the filler neck I disassembled (with a slightly aching heart – to have to destroy something so beautiful and warming!) the hot water bottle. Inside was a CD case, but not for an audio CD – no, it was for a computer game. To be more precise, it was for a computer game that I had been eagerly awaiting for a long time, but which I had missed due to my illness and then completely forgotten about.
"Wow, Tim, thanks! How did you know I wanted that game?”
“Well, some people tend to talk in their feverish dreams. So I put a few things together, then asked your mother, and just like that I had the perfect Christmas present.”
A very attentive listener, that little one. My God, what else had I revealed about myself in my feverish sleep phases! Hopefully not too much. But the way Tim smiled at me, it didn't seem like that had been the case. Or at least he didn't care.
So, now it was time to get down to business. It was time for the “big ones” to give to the “little ones.” My mother took up the position.
“Boys, Reinhardt and I have thought that we will join forces and give each of you a slightly larger gift than usual. Please do not see this as an attempt at bribery. You have honestly earned this. Besides, these are things that you can really use.”
Now my curiosity was aroused even more. Bigger gift? Do I hear a car honking? Nope, probably not. That would be a bit too big. Besides, it's still a bit early. Now come on, pick up the pace!
"So, Tim, you first!”
The prerogative of the younger sibling. All right. Let's see. However...bigger present...it didn't necessarily look like that. Rather very small. Another envelope? Maybe a larger banknote? Tim opened the envelope, and in the next moment he burst into cheers.
“Awesome! Thanks! Exactly what I've been wishing for all this time. But wasn't it very expensive?“
”Don't worry, we can afford it.“
So, slowly, I would really like to know what was being talked about here.
”Now don't let me die stupid! Show me, little brother!”
And that's exactly what he did, and the next moment I had a homemade voucher in my hand. A voucher for... a computer! Hm, that's right, I had missed such a device in his room so far. And this new computer would definitely give our room a vibrant splash of color, since it was a voucher for an iMac from Apple. Well, that was almost too good to be true. I also used this system, so not only Tim and I but also our computers would get along well. But there was one thing I had to say: this gift was even better than I had expected. What could I expect?
I didn't have to wait long. I was handed my package, a little larger than Tim's, but not huge either. When I unwrapped it, my heart almost stopped, and I stared at my mother and Reinhardt with wide-open eyes.
“Maria, you know him better than I do. Does that expression mean he's happy or is he shocked?“
”Probably both.“
”All right, too. Danny, we thought about giving you your present at the beginning of the vacation, but then we decided against it because of the Christmas tradition. But everything is ready for you to get started right away.”
Slowly, my mouth closed again, and I could turn my eyes back to my present. It was the latest semi-professional digital camera on the market, which, in terms of price, could easily match Tim's new computer. In contrast to previous models – and the current models of the competition – this good piece could actually compete with a “real”, i.e. film-using camera, in terms of setting options.
Now it was my turn, of course, to express my thanks, which I did profusely.
Now only the last act of the gift-giving ceremony remained. However, if I had thought that this would also go off without a hitch, I was mistaken. Reinhardt started to make a speech.
“Tim, Danny, you know that one of the purposes of this trip is to help us grow together as a family. We, that is Maria and I, think we're doing very well at that. Therefore, we have decided to use today to get engaged in front of the two people who are most important to us. We really hope you agree with this.”
The two looked at us questioningly, almost slightly anxiously. Wow, this really seemed to be turning into an evening of huge surprises! Tim was completely bowled over, and it took me a moment to find my words too.
"Wow, that's amazing! Of course we agree to it! At least I do, and you do too, don't you, Tim?”
“No question about it! I guess this is the best present ever. Congratulations!“
”I can only agree with that. Reinhardt, I'm really happy that you're making an honorable woman out of my mother."
This saying now made everyone laugh, and the tension disappeared from the faces of our elderly relatives.
“Phew, thank God! Reinhardt and I were a little worried.“
”Do you really know us so badly? If Tim and I had problems with you, you would have noticed it long ago.“
”Yes, that's clear to us now. But as I said, you are the most important people for us, and so we just worry about you.”
“You'd better waste those thoughts on how we can celebrate this event appropriately!“
”Don't worry, Danny, we've thought of that. Everything is prepared. We've reserved a table at the restaurant, with champagne and candles. So come on, we should be on our way."
Reinhardt and my mother wanted to march off, but Tim stood in their way.
“Ahem, say, isn't there something missing?"
The stopped looked at each other questioningly, then a knowing smile spread across their faces. A moment later they were in each other's arms, kissing hotly and intimately. Again it was Tim who interfered.
“That's all very well, but that's not what I meant. Don't rings belong to a proper engagement?"
Okay, that was like a cold shower. Both mentally threw their hands up in the air and then burst out laughing.
“My God, Tim is absolutely right. We were so worried about your reaction that we completely forgot the rings. Of course they are also part of the engagement, and we even have them with us!“
”Then you should probably put them on now. Then at least all the other people here in the hotel will know that they no longer have to get their hopes up about either of you.”
Hm, maybe I should just put a ring on my finger, too. As a Heidi-and-her-colleagues defense mechanism. It was certainly worth considering.
But back to the current events. The two, apparently hopelessly in love with each other, now exchanged engagement rings, and when that was done, the kissing scene from a moment earlier was repeated. This time I had the brand new camera ready to capture the moment for eternity. I also took the camera with me when we went to the restaurant afterwards. There it was used again, once with just Mom and Reinhardt, sitting opposite each other at the table, as the subject; a second time a waiter was kind enough to take a picture of our entire gang of four.
The meal was wonderful, and despite the strict American laws, Tim and I also got a glass of bubbly to toast with. After we had eaten and clinked our glasses, I winked confidentially at my brother.
"Tim, I actually want to take a closer look at the camera. It's best to do it in our room, in peace and quiet. Will you come with me?”
Tim looked at me, confused at first, but then understanding.
“Sure, I'm interested in that, too. Dad, Maria, can you manage without us?”
The two of them saw through our maneuver without any problem, of course.
"Guys, you don't have to go because of us.”
“I think you could use a little time just for you. Danny and I are leaving. Take as much time as you want, we'll just go to bed when we feel like it.“
”All right. But you're welcome to stay.“
”No, Tim's right. Well then, have a nice evening and good night."
We said goodbye, and shortly afterwards Tim and I entered our room.
“Well, Tim, the two lovebirds can now behave without having to consider us. For my part, I actually plan to take a closer look at the camera. How about you?“
”Well, I was actually thinking of a relaxing, hot bath in the hot tub. You're welcome to join me, the thing is big enough for half a football team.”
Oh, oh. It was big enough for half a football team, all right. But was it big enough for Tim and me? If I was very lucky, Tim would take his swimming trunks off in the bath and that would be just about bearable. But what if he didn't? Should I back out at the last minute? Questions upon questions.
"I'll turn the water on, you can change your mind.”
I did that for the next fifteen minutes, and also delved into the camera's manual. The latter was really an amazing device that I would enjoy using a lot. It was like moving up two complete leagues. I played around a bit, took a few pictures and admired the results on the mini-monitor. Then it was Tim's turn to startle me again.
“Well, are you coming into the water or what?"
I looked up from the camera, and there was my little brother standing in the bathroom doorway, wearing only a white towel. Okay, I couldn't see if he had anything else on, but if he did, a towel wouldn't be necessary, right? Two souls were fighting within me. On the one hand, I wanted to try the hot tub anyway. And a naked Tim next to me... well. And that “well” was the other side of the coin. How would I react to that? I'm talking about reactions that are dictated less by the mind and more by the heart and pleasure center. But Tim wouldn't leave me alone.
“Come on, don't be shy. There's nothing about you that I haven't already seen.“
That was undoubtedly true, but there was a lot about him that I hadn't seen before. Still. Chicken? Me? In front of my little brother? Better not.
”Okay, okay. Jump in already, I'll be there in three minutes.“
”Great.“
He said and wanted to disappear.
”Tim!”
He stopped in the doorway and turned around to me again. I took advantage of this to quickly take a picture of him with the new camera. This earned me a grin and the finger of contempt. Then he was gone, leaving me alone with my racing thoughts and feelings.
But there was no way I could not show up in the bathroom soon, or I would be putting myself in a very vulnerable position. So I put the camera aside, took off my clothes, grabbed a fresh bath towel, wrapped it around my hips, and made my way to the bathroom. There sat Tim, up to his neck in wild, bubbling water, listening to soft music from the radio. Next to him stood a bottle of Coke, and across from him, in the place he had probably planned for me, stood another such beverage.
“There you are at last. Come on in, it's just wonderful. We should get one of these at home too. It's really relaxing after all the running around we've done in the last few days.”
Okay, the last period of grace had expired. I wrapped myself out of the towel and got into the huge tub with Tim. He eyed me with interest and a big grin appeared on his face.
“What?”
"Sorry, I guess I have to apologize to you. I didn't think you'd actually go through with it.”
“Why? I can't hold back in front of my little brother.“
The grin grew even wider, and while I sat down and found a good position to sit, Tim got up, and I caught sight of... his swimming trunks!
”Hey! That's not fair!“
”Okay, okay. I'll take them off.”
He did so, and I stole a few glances in the direction of my brother's body parts that I hadn't seen before. Well, I hoped that my glances were furtive. In any case, I wasn't disappointed... Shortly afterwards, we were sitting opposite each other again.
We spent the next hour relaxing our tired bodies and talking about the past few days and, of course, our future together – so we had plenty to talk about. For my part, I reveled in honest admiration for my self-control, while little Danny was completely relaxed the whole time.
When we started to feel that our feet were growing together, we decided to end the wet evening. We climbed out of the hot tub, and to avoid dropping my guard at the last moment, I quickly turned away from Tim. We dried ourselves and then realized that we had both completely forgotten to take any clothes with us into the bathroom. The towels were quite wet, so they didn't offer any alternative either. So we had no choice but to rush to our room naked as God or whoever had created us. There we decided that we should get ready for bed right away, so we slipped into our pajamas. Just in time, because we had barely lain down next to each other on Tim's bed to flick through the local TV programs when the door opened and the two newly engaged walked in. It's unthinkable what a shock they would have received if they had come at the exact moment when two naked teenagers jumped through the room.
“Well, guys, how are you? I hope you weren't bored?“
”Don't worry. Danny and I lazed around in the hot tub for a long time, and now we want to watch a little TV. So, how was your evening?”
“Thanks, it was lovely. Tim, your father is so romantic! He brought a violinist to the table, it was just wonderful. But you know you didn't have to leave, right?“
”We know, Mom. We didn't have to, but we wanted to.“
”Thank you, Danny. Maria, I think we're really lucky to have two such boys.”
“You can say that again. Well, we're leaving. Don't be too long, tomorrow's the last Disney park. Good night!"
The usual good-night wishes were exchanged, then Tim and I were alone again. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. Apparently we had thought exactly the same thing.
“Hey, Danny, imagine if they had burst in three minutes earlier! That would have been about the most embarrassing thing I can imagine.“
”It could have been even much worse. Imagine if one of them had grabbed the camera quickly enough to capture the spectacle for posterity. Try explaining a picture like that to your grandchildren!”
Now Tim snorted so hard that he choked on his own spit and I had to give him relief by vigorously patting him on the back.
“You always expect the worst, Danny?”
"It's called life experience, kid. You'll learn that too.”
“I've already learned that lesson, thanks.“
Damn, I guess I just added insult to injury.
”I'm sorry, Tim, I know. I didn't mean it.”
“I know you do. And in a way, it's probably good to be reminded of that from time to time. It makes me appreciate all the more what has happened in the last few weeks. But that's another topic. Tell me, why did you act so coy when I invited you into the hot tub earlier?”
Oh my God, the million-dollar question! Now I had to come up with an excuse really fast. I mean, the honest answer “Because I'm falling hopelessly in love with you and didn't want to give myself away” was definitely not a good choice. Okay, let's try this. Not the truth, but at least somewhat logical.
“Uh, well. I didn't want you to feel weird about it. I mean, I'm gay, and a lot of people don't like the idea of being naked in a tub with someone like me...”
“Danny, stop beating yourself up. What do I have to do to get you to finally believe that I have no problem with this at all? Going out on the town with you?"
I smiled at him a little uncertainly.
“So, once and for all: I don't mind sitting at a table with you. I don't mind lying in bed with you. And I don't mind sitting naked in the hot tub with you. Got it?“
”All right, all right. I got it. Thanks.”
“No need to thank me. Now, let's see what's on TV."
We zapped through the channels, which mostly showed commercials interrupted by short films. I would never again complain about German private television with its commercial breaks. Compared to what was going on here, all that was still completely harmless. In the end, we ended up on MTV, and while the current charts were playing, Tim and I browsed through Disney information material. The next day, the latest part of Disney's empire was announced: Animal Kingdom.
Then a melody sounded that made me stare at the screen as if spellbound. This did not go unnoticed by my attentive neighbor.
“Well, Danny, I thought you were gay? Then why are you staring at a video of Britney Spears?“
”Don't worry, Tim, I haven't suddenly become straight. I'm not looking at the pubescent bouncer either, but at one of her dancers. Here, the one to her left, isn't he cute?”
“The one with dark hair and blonde highlights?“
”Exactly. The one with the cute smile. Smooth to fall in love with.“
Tim, just like me, watched the rest of the video intently.
”Hm. I see what you mean. Well, I think I understand that. He really is good-looking. For a boy, I mean.”
“Well, I definitely think so. For that sight, I even put up with having to listen to the Spears at the same time.“
”Well, that's cleared up what type of boys you like. But, as you said a few days ago, he's not blond!“
”But at least he has blond highlights. Besides, if the rest is right, I could even overlook red hair.”
“Apparently you're not quite so picky. Fortunately. That should increase your chances again.“
”I certainly hope so!"
We didn't last long after that, and shortly thereafter the TV was off, and we slowly drifted off to dreamland. Each in his own bed.
The rest of our Florida vacation went by way too fast, as it usually does on trips like this. Not everything was as well organized as the first few days in Orlando. Sometimes it was a bit difficult to find a room, especially since it seemed like the whole of America and half of the rest of the world had the same idea over the holidays and New Year's. But we always found a place to spend the night, even if that sometimes meant that Tim and I had to share a bed. Or were allowed to share? In any case, they were always huge double beds, so we never got too close. On the one hand, I was happy about that, but on the other hand, I also regretted it a little.
Mom and Reinhardt were on cloud nine, with a permanent smile on their faces. They fulfilled every wish of Tim and me, and we had to pull ourselves together to not take advantage of that. I, for one, was spared from further Heidi-esque attacks – and that without having to follow Tim's suggestions regarding my transformation into a super-fag.
Disney's Animal Kingdom – highly recommended, and in some ways actually the most interesting Disney park – was followed by the Kennedy Space Center. Here we really realized how huge the missiles are that were launched into space by human hands. Standing under a lying Apollo rocket, we suddenly felt quite tiny.
After that, we went down the coast, via Ft. Lauderdale and the Keys, to the southernmost tip of the continental USA – Key West. The drive over the kilometer-long bridges was an experience in itself. On many of the islands, you could still see the traces of the last hurricane. As beautiful as the area was, it was out of the question for me as a permanent residence. Key West itself was wonderful. We climbed the old lighthouse, visited Hemmingway's house, took a city tour with the Conch Train and gathered with hundreds or thousands of others in the evening for the sunset at Mallory Square. This was now one of the most beautiful natural spectacles I had ever seen. Slightly cloudy sky, the water full of sailing ships, all around clicking and humming cameras. The red ball sank lower and lower, and my mother couldn't resist the famous Saxon sunset saying: “Guggde mal, glei didschd se no!”
The sun did indeed “dijd” into the water, and the attention of the crowd now turned to the numerous street performers. Mimes, fire-eaters, etc. vied for the favor of the spectators, who were handing out dollar bills. We slowly made our way back to the hotel via the famous Duval Street, with all its shops (which probably deserved the name “tourist traps”) and bars. Oh, by the way, the absolutely southernmost point, from which, on a clear day, you could supposedly see Fidel Castro's smoking cigar, was rather an ugly place. Right next to a military base, half hidden by a wire fence, stood the colorful monument marking the “Southernmost point of continental USA” – and, tellingly, popularly nicknamed the “giant dildo”.
Back in a northerly direction, we then went via the Everglades (highly recommended for all nature lovers and photography enthusiasts) and the Gulf Coast (the old harbor of Naples is worth a visit) back to Orlando, where unfortunately it was unavoidable to board the plane back to cold Germany.
We had made it! We had arrived back home safely. What an adjustment that was! Only twelve hours ago, we had experienced Orlando at a pleasant 24°C in short clothes – now my teeth were chattering uncontrollably as we left Berlin Airport. 12 degrees below zero and snowing! Fortunately, we had already changed before departure, so that we were able to face the weather reasonably appropriately dressed. For my part, however, I was still on the verge of immediately investing my entire “fortune” in a ticket back to Florida. Without a return flight option, of course.
Half an hour later, we were sitting in the car and began our three-hour drive home. That is, if nothing went wrong. To everyone's surprise, however, we were spared traffic jams and accidents despite the terrible weather, and Reinhardt drove according to the motto “Better home a little later than in the hospital a little earlier”. Or even in the cemetery.
When we approached our hometown within a few kilometers and left the highway, the driver turned to his passengers.
"What do you think of it if we first go to our place and have a cozy supper together there? Or do you two want to go to yours immediately?”
We conferred back and forth a little and came to the conclusion that we could certainly afford this hour. Unpacking our suitcases would probably not run away from us.
When we turned into Bergner Street, we saw from a distance that their house had somehow changed. As we approached, we realized that the beautiful, freshly whitewashed facade looked dirty gray to black in various places. There were both a police and a fire engine in front of the house. How Reinhardt managed to stop the car safely at the side of the road is still beyond me today. We got out, and the two Bergners stared in disbelief at what had until recently been a beautifully restored Gründerzeit house. As we stood there shaking our heads, the front door opened and an elderly woman came out onto the street, accompanied by several uniformed officers.
"But there's Mr. Bergner! I told them he was coming back from America today.”
Then she rushed towards us.
“Mr. Bergner! It's a good thing you're here, it's so terrible!”
She was downright hysterical. Reinhardt tried to calm her down a little – but was he the right person to do so in the current situation?
"Frau Schmidt, it's all right. What happened to...”
“It's all so awful! Poor Mr. Wansmann! My God, how will it ever end!“
Reinhardt quickly realized that he couldn't get anything useful out of this lady. Fortunately, one of the uniformed officers now joined us.
”Good evening. I'm Chief Inspector Flanders. Are you Mr. Bergner, the owner of the apartment on the third floor on the left?”
“That's me, good evening. Could you please tell me what happened here?“
”Of course. Two days ago, during the night from Thursday to Friday, a fire broke out in the apartment below you, which then spread through the windows to some rooms in your apartment. Unfortunately, the tenant of the apartment could only be recovered dead. As hard as it may sound now, but you were very lucky that you were not here. The fire spread rapidly – who knows if you would have made it out of your apartment in one piece.”
“How does the apartment look?“
”I'm afraid not very well. All the rooms on the street side have been damaged by the fire, the others at least by water. The fire department had a hard time keeping the flames away from the rest of the house.”
I ran through what the man in green had listed in my mind. The rooms on the street side were the living room, the kitchen and Reinhardt's bedroom. At the back were the study, the bathroom and Tim's small room.
"Can we enter the apartment, or is it locked?”
“I just spoke to the fire investigator, he has released the apartment. However, you probably won't be able to live in it for quite a while. At least you can get your most important things out. The fire department had to break down the door the night of the fire, we have now closed it provisionally, but I would recommend that you remove all valuables from the apartment and have a proper door installed as soon as possible.”
“How did the fire start?“
”At the moment, everything points to the fact that the tenant below you fell asleep with a lit cigarette. That's something people will never learn."
Amen. I had taken a single drag on a cigarette – after that I felt so sick that this experience was enough for the rest of my life.
The inspector handed Reinhardt the key, and in silence we made our way to the third floor. There was a pungent smell of smoke, and the walls were damp and partly frosted. The policeman was right: no one would live here anytime soon.
At the top, Reinhardt opened the door, which consisted of a patchwork of various boards, through which we all pushed shortly afterwards. It looked even worse here. A quick walk through the rooms, and it was clear to all of us that Tim and his father had lost almost everything. Where the fire had not raged, the extinguishing water had done a great job. Technical equipment, furniture, books – everything was gone. At most, a few textiles could be dried, everything else was a matter for the insurance company. My God, I hope they were properly insured!
The two inhabitants of this pile of rubble stood in the hallway like a picture of misery and still couldn't believe what had happened here. My mother went to them and put an arm around each of them. Good idea. I followed her and did the same from the other side.
"Reinhardt, Tim, we'll make it. Together. Of course you'll live with us, we were going to move in together in the next few weeks anyway.”
Slowly, the shock began to set in with father and son, and both were now showing tears. With a great deal of effort, Reinhardt managed to pull himself out of his shock.
"You're right. Tim, don't worry, everything will be fine. Maria, Danny, thank you for taking us in. We should now see to it that we pack the most important things that can still be saved. I'll go to the study; all the documents should have survived in the box. Tim, go to your room and see if you can find anything there that you want to take with you.“
”I'll go with you, Reinhardt. Danny, will you go with Tim?”
Of course, I would never expect the little one to go through this alone. We walked together the path I had taken so often during my illness. In front of the closed door, Tim gathered all his courage, then he pushed down the handle, the door swung open, and we entered the room, or rather what was left of it.
As the policeman had said, there was not much of the fire left to see, but the carpet squeaked wet under our feet, a fine film of ice glistened on the walls and cupboards, the bed in which I had spent so many nights was just a wet lump of cloth and feathers. And just as I was getting my bearings, Tim collapsed. I managed to catch him just in time, otherwise he would have been lying on the sodden floor in the next moment.
"Hey, Tim, come on. It's not that bad. We'll get through this, okay?”
Normally, I would have sat him down somewhere, but none of the furniture looked particularly trustworthy, so I preferred to hold him in my arms. I had always wished for that, but certainly not under these circumstances. After a few minutes, he had cried on my shoulder, and his legs were able to hold his body upright again. With unsteady steps, he worked his way through the debris. A shelf had been pushed apart by the freezing extinguishing water and was now lying on the floor in pieces. While Tim packed his trophies and medals into a frozen cloth bag, I stayed close to him as a precaution, just in case he tried to make a break for it again. After a while, he looked around the room again.
“Do you have everything, or is anything important missing?”
"I think I have everything. Damn it, Danny, why did this have to happen to us?”
“I don't know, little brother. But the policeman was right. It could have been a lot worse. Imagine if you had been here when the fire started. Most of the things that were destroyed here can be replaced – but not your lives. And I have no idea how Mom and I would go on without you.”
Tim looked at me with tear-stained eyes. Then he fell into my arms again.
“Thank you, Danny. You're right. Let's go.”
Without turning around again, we left the room, and practically at the same moment, Mom and Reinhardt came out of the study, Reinhardt with a large steel box in his hands.
When my mother saw the state Tim was in, she immediately rushed to him and took him in her arms, while I quickly accompanied his father through the rooms he hadn't seen yet. When we arrived in Tim's room, he shook his head sadly.
"Was it very bad for Tim?”
“He almost passed out once, but I hope he's over the worst now. And how about you?“
”Not much better. Okay, we're all right, and the insurance will cover the damage. Still, there are a lot of memories here. I would have preferred a normal move.“
”I understand.”
“Anyway, I'm glad we have you two. This way we still have a future to look forward to.”
“Thanks. I think we should go, the sooner we get out of here the better.“
”Right. Let's go."
We picked up the other two in the hallway, left the apartment, barricaded the entrance and then walked down to the car. Without saying a word, my mother and I agreed that she would sit behind Tim and I would sit in the passenger seat.
The drive home was very quiet, with only Tim's sobs and my mother's soothing words to be heard from behind. When we arrived, we quickly unloaded the car, and I helped Tim take his things to my room. Although it would be better to speak of our room now. I made some space in my closet, and that's when the next problem occurred to me. Both Tim and his father were suddenly without winter clothing, apart from what they were wearing. The suitcases contained only summer clothes suitable for Florida. I could help out with Tim, but there was no way Reinhardt would find a suitable item of clothing in the whole house.
While I took care of this, Tim lay more or less apathetically on his bed. I went over and sat down next to him.
“Hold me, please.”
I couldn't say no to that, but the constellation – him lying, me sitting – wasn't particularly suitable for it. So I gently pushed him aside a little and lay down next to him. Then I did what he had asked me to do, and after about half an hour he had cried himself to sleep. Carefully, I escaped from his grip, got up and went – leaving the door wide open – downstairs to the living room, where Mom and Reinhardt were planning how to deal with the catastrophe.
"There you are. How is Tim?”
“He's sleeping. I left the door wide open so that he can hear us and know that he is not alone.“
”Good. Reinhardt called his homeroom teacher and excused him for now. I'll stay away from the office for a few days, too.“
”And what about me? Are you going to call my school, too?”
“No way. You've already missed enough before Christmas. Besides, unlike Tim, you don't have to travel as far to get to school. From here, I mean. We definitely don't have time to drive him there and pick him up every day next week.”
Great. But okay, they would just have to manage without my active help. They would see what they got out of it. Reinhardt then called his insurance agent and arranged to meet at the old apartment the next day. Then we began to address the most pressing issues.
“Well, the sleeping problem has been solved. Let's move on to the next point. Danny, you'll have to help Tim out with winter clothes for the next few days until we get enough for him.”
“No problem, I've already thought of that. But what about you, Reinhardt?“
”Well, I'll have to make do with what I've got on. On Monday morning, we'll go shopping right away."
We discussed a few more points, but many things could only be taken care of on a weekday. So we decided to end the discussion for the time being.
“Guys, I'm going to make us dinner first. I realize that you may not have much of an appetite, but for what lies ahead, we need all the strength we can get. So we're eating.”
We would have been pretty stupid to resist that. While Mom threw frozen pizza and herb baguettes into the oven, Reinhardt and I set the table. When that was done, we sat down at the kitchen table and tried to distract ourselves by talking about Florida. When a certain smell came from the oven, Mom sent me upstairs to get Tim to eat. So I went upstairs. Tim was still lying in bed exactly as I had left him. I sat down on the edge of the bed again and gently shook him by the shoulder.
"Tim. Hey, Tim, wake up. Dinner's on the table.”
It took me a few tries to wake him up, and a few more to convince him that he had to eat something. When we emerged in the kitchen together, the plates were already loaded. Dinner was not particularly cheerful; Tim, in particular, was very upset about everything, and our attempts to at least cheer him up a little were not particularly successful.
Then the plates and glasses were empty, and we discussed what to do with the rest of the evening. Mom and Reinhardt wanted to go over insurance policies and similar things, and Tim announced that he would take a quick shower and then go to bed immediately. I realized that I was pretty tired, too – no wonder after the flight and all the stress.
“I'll join Tim. It's been a long and exciting day, and tomorrow we'll have enough to do."
Tim looked at me gratefully. The idea of being alone, even if only for a short time, seemed anything but pleasant to him at the moment. My mother obviously shared this view.
“That's good, you can take care of him a little while.“ ‘Would you please pick out a pair of your pajamas for him?’
”Okay.“
”Wait, guys, not so fast! Pajamas, that reminds me. I forgot them in all the excitement!”
With a beaming face, the likes of which I hadn't seen since the discovery of the disaster, Reinhardt had jumped up from the table and rushed out of the kitchen. When he returned, he was holding one of his travel bags.
"Danny, because you're always so cold, I bought a very special gift for you in Florida. Since you wouldn't have been able to use it there anyway, you're getting it here first.”
He rummaged in his bag, then produced a dark blue bundle of fabric and handed it to me.
“There you go, I hope this solves all your nightly cold problems!”
Hm, I was curious to see. I unfolded the fluffy, soft, fleece-like fabric, and it turned out to be... a very special pair of pajamas! Anyone who watches American movies from time to time will have seen something like this before – although not necessarily in this size. It was a onesie with a long zipper at the front for getting dressed. That was funny enough, but it got even better. The legs didn't end in holes for the feet to go through, but in sewn-on stocking parts with nubby rubber soles! I couldn't help but laugh and could only hope that the others wouldn't take offense considering the rather difficult overall situation. But it didn't look like it, because shortly after that I wasn't the only one laughing out loud. Even Tim joined in!
"Great, Danny, I have a big brother who sleeps in a onesie!”
His father shook his head slightly reprovingly.
“Tim, these aren't baby pajamas, they're normal pajamas, and I bought them in a normal department store. Besides, don't laugh too soon. Look what I have here.”
Reinhardt took another bundle of cloth – this time light blue – out of his pocket and handed it to his son.
“After all, I don't want you to be jealous of Danny.“
Now Tim looked a little taken aback – a sight that made us laugh again immediately.
”Don't take it so hard, little brother. This solves part of the problem with your missing clothes, and you won't catch a cold so quickly at night. Come on, let's go upstairs.”
I thanked Reinhardt and said goodbye to him and Mutti for the night, closely followed by Tim, who still didn't quite know what to make of the whole thing. Then we went upstairs, I threw the present on my bed and then looked at Tim.
“Are you going to take a shower first?”
"Okay. I'll just quickly unpack my toiletries.”
While he was doing that, I got him some towels, and shortly afterwards he was on his way to the bathroom.
“Don't forget your nice new pajamas!”
He laughed softly to himself. A good start.
"I won't put these on until I've seen you in yours.”
“Okay, whatever you say. But then maybe I should take a shower first, otherwise you'll have to change several times.“
”Right. Beat it, I'll unpack a few things in the meantime."
All right. I grabbed the aforementioned garment and retreated to the bathroom, and shortly thereafter I was standing under the pleasantly warm stream of water. This time I even managed to get a grip on my time, and less than a quarter of an hour later I made my grand entrance in front of Tim. Putting on Reinhardt's gift was quite unusual at first, but I quickly figured out the best way to do it, and when I zipped up, I had to agree with Tim's father: I would never be cold again in this thing!
Because of the rubber soles, I could do without my normal slippers. I took them and my day clothes in my hand and left the bathroom. Outside, Tim had unpacked one of his bags and was now sitting on my computer chair. I got rid of what I had in my hands, then I stood in front of my brother and turned around twice.
“Voilà! Well, how do I look?“
Tim chuckled softly.
”Like a big baby.“
”Well, hurry up, our parents will probably check on us again soon, and then they'll definitely want to find two big babies.“
”Okay, okay. I'll put this thing on. Is it as warm as it looks?”
“No. Much warmer. Just right for me.“
”Why did you come back from Florida with us?“
”Only because of you, brother dear, only because of you."
Oops, hopefully I hadn't revealed too much. But never mind, if it cheered him up a little... And it did, because the smile that had come over his face when he saw me was still there. Much better than his tear-stained face from earlier. Tim now reached for his present and wandered into the bathroom, I sat down at the computer and turned it on. Let's see what was in the way of e-mails. The connection was established, then 308 e-mails made their way to my hard drive. So either someone had been very busy, or my registration in many newsletters was now bitterly avenging itself. Just as the transfer was in its final stages, there was a knock at the door, and after a brief hesitation it opened and my mother and future husband entered the room.
When they saw me sitting in my armchair, wearing Reinhardt's fluffy gift, they both laughed out loud. A sound that we all needed that day.
“Well Danny, did I choose the right gift for you?”
“Indeed I did, thank you very much.”
"I'm glad. Now I'm just curious to see if my son is going to put on his too.”
“Little Timmy has announced it, anyway.”
“Huh, little Timmy? Don't let him hear that!“
”What shouldn't I hear?"
Almost unnoticed, the bathroom door had opened, and the person we had just been talking about marched into the room. His outfit was only distinguished from mine by the lighter shade of blue. My mother looked quite enchanted.
“Oh, how sweet! When I see you like this, I could easily wish that you were both ten years younger. Come to mommy, my little ones!"
Tim and I looked at each other and grinned, shaking our heads.
“Reinhardt, they don't want to! That's the worst thing about children: at some point they grow up and become independent. Soon the two of them won't need us anymore.“
Of course I couldn't leave it at that.
”Oh Mutsch, don't worry about that. We'll always need you.“
”Really?“
”Of course. Who else is going to cook us dinner?“
”You scoundrel!”
“Besides, even if Tim and I really don't need you anymore, you still have Reinhardt. Just washing his stained clothes should keep you pretty busy."
Now everyone laughed. Until my mother managed to put on a serious face with a lot of effort.
“I think my upbringing has failed. Now other methods are called for. Since our children have not yet outgrown the romper suit age, there is still hope. Reinhardt, as difficult as this request is for me, would you please put our oldest across your knee and instill some manners in him?"
Tim's father tried to maintain a suitable expression.
“I'm not in favor of corporal punishment, but if there is no respect for one's mother, I guess I have to forget my principles for once. Besides, you're a bad role model for your little brother. I don't want you to corrupt him too. Boy, come here and take your punishment like a man.”
Never! With a wild leap, I jumped out of the chair and sprinted towards the door. That is, I wanted to sprint towards the door, but unfortunately the giant Reinhardt was more agile than I had expected and grabbed me around the waist with a single swift movement. Now I could struggle as much as I wanted, there was no escape. All my efforts to get free seemed to make about as much impression on him as a mosquito bite, and shortly thereafter he sat down on my bed, still holding me in a firm grip, and I actually found myself lying over his knees, my backside stretched to lofty heights. A quick glance around showed me that everyone present – except me, of course – was laughing tears. I looked Reinhardt in the eye.
“You're not really going to do that?“
He raised his right hand. Right paw would be more accurate.
”Oh yes I am."
The hand whistled down, and I prepared myself mentally and morally for the impact. Just before the blow, however, Reinhardt stopped the blow. He looked at my mother.
“You know, Maria, I'm afraid the boy is still too small and too delicate for a beating. I think I'd better do it differently.“
Oh God, what devilish idea had he hatched now? I was about to find out.
”Maybe it would be enough if I tickled him really hard. That's always worked on Tim before.”
And that's exactly what he did, and after a few seconds I was convinced that a beating would have been the better alternative. Did I mention that I'm extremely ticklish? I squirmed back and forth under his attacks, but escape was impossible. Now I too had tears of laughter in my eyes, and I was sure I wouldn't last much longer. Panting, I screamed out my surrender.
“Reinhardt, stop it, I... haha... I promise to be good in the future too!“
”Why should I stop when it's so much fun?“
”Because... hehe... otherwise I'll wet my pants and mess up your beautiful... ha ha ha... your beautiful present.”
“That's an argument, of course. The only one I can accept.“
And indeed, he stopped the torture. Gasping for air, I came to rest, still lying over his knees.
”Will you treat your mother with respect in the future?“
”Yes!“
”That's not enough. Do you promise?“
”I promise, solemnly!”
“Maria, is his promise enough for you?“
My mother could hardly keep on her feet from laughing.
”I think so. For starters. If he needs this lesson again, you'll be available again, Reinhardt?”
“Of course. All right, then I won't be so strict and show mercy. Tim, I hope you've been paying attention. Behave yourself, or the same will happen to you as to your big brother.“
Phew, that was a close shave. Reinhardt didn't let me go yet, though.
”Was there something else? Oh yes, I almost forgot.”
He said it, and the next moment his hand actually whizzed towards my backside.
"Ouch!”
Well, okay, not ouch. It was more of a shock, because what had started as a hard, painful blow when he swung his hand, ended up being a friendly slap, which was softened by the thick fabric of my “romper”. Reinhardt, however, was impressed by my outcry. He let go of me immediately, and I stood up, rubbing my butt briefly.
“Did I hurt you?“
Oh, he made a really worried face. I had no choice but to smile reassuringly at him.
”Nah, just my pride is a little scratched.“
”Well then, it's okay. So you two, off to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”
Tim and I obediently went to bed (after all, I didn't want to risk another beating *g*), but not before I turned off the computer. The two parents, who had also caught their breath, came around and wished us good night. Something happened that I hadn't experienced in about five years. My mother kissed Tim on the cheek, and then she kissed me too. Was it because of the strange pajamas? She hadn't let herself be carried away like that in years. Reinhardt leaned over me too, but he refrained from doing the same to my mother. Instead, he whispered something in my ear.
“Thanks for playing along. Sorry.“
Then the two of them left the room, opening the window a crack, turning off the light and closing the door. Wow, what a day.
We lay in bed in silence for a while, not about to fall asleep anytime soon. Then Tim spoke up.
”Danny, are you still awake?”
“Yep.“
”Was it really bad?“
”What?“
”The tickling.“
”Honest answer?“
”Yes.“
”It was terrible. And funny at the same time. Has he done that to you, too?“
”Yes. Although he never beat me over the knee for it.”
“Does that happen often?“
”Do I hear fear in your voice?“
”Nah, I just want to be prepared for it.“
”Don't worry. No more than twice a year.“
Phew, now I was a little more reassured.
”I'll try to get some sleep now. Good night, Danny.“
”Likewise.”
I turned to the wall. Cold winter air streamed into the room and I snuggled up in my duvet. Unfortunately, the sandman hadn't mixed any sand into the winter air, so I just couldn't fall asleep. The events of the day haunted me, and from the noises on the other side of the room, I could tell that Tim was probably feeling the same way. Unlike me, however, he tossed from one side to the other. I felt very sorry for the poor guy; the vacation had ended very differently than we had imagined.
Time passed extremely slowly. I tried desperately to fall asleep, and with every toll of the church bell I grew more tired, but sleep still did not come. Then, sometime around midnight, I heard a whisper.
“Danny?”
So Tim had the same problem as me.
“Yes?”
"Can't you fall asleep either?”
“Seems so.“
”Danny, can I... may I...“
”What?“
”Can I come over to you?"
Uh-oh. In a different context, I would have jumped for joy in a triangle, but I knew very well that Tim ‘only’ needed someone to hold. And considering my inability to fall asleep, it seemed I was in a similar situation.
“Okay, come over. But it's going to be damn tight."
We had already slept in the same bed a few times in Florida, but those were huge double beds and not a narrow towel like mine. Without close (very close!) Physical contact, it wouldn't work here. Tim arrived at my side in a few steps.
“Then you'll just have to hold me tight so I don't fall out.“
”Okay. Would you like to lie against the wall or in the front?“
”In the front.”
I slid as close to the wall as I could, lifted the blanket, and Tim slipped under it. The next moment he was lying next to me and did something I really hadn't expected. Evidently inspired by my mother's good-night kiss, he pressed his lips to my forehead.
"Thank you, Danny.”
Then he turned away from me and pressed his body close to mine. It seemed that someone had enormous trust in me. And I would definitely not disappoint it! I carefully put my left arm around Tim's upper body – after all, I wanted to avoid at all costs that he actually rolled out of bed – and snuggled up in the pillow. Well, and that's what I did. A few minutes later, I realized from Tim's even breathing that he had fallen asleep, and I followed him within a very short time.
According to the alarm clock, I woke up for the first time at around seven. The room was filled with wonderfully clear, cold winter air, but I was anything but cold, which was probably due in equal parts to Reinhardt's gift and the warm body of the boy next to me. During the night I had turned onto my back, and Tim had not spent the night completely still either. He had turned completely towards me, and now his head was lying on my chest and his right arm was wrapped around me. My right arm was under Tim, a position that took some getting used to and was not particularly comfortable. But I would be damned if I would wake the little guy because of that! With my free left hand, I gently stroked his head a few times, and the next moment I was asleep again.
The next awakening would not be so peaceful. At some point, I thought I heard the door to the room clattering, but I was probably still too drowsy to attach any great importance to it. Stupid mistake!
Shortly thereafter, there was a sudden flash in the room, so bright that it penetrated my closed eyelids. Cursing under my breath, I opened them and, with a not-yet-clear gaze, tried to figure out what was happening. I didn't have to search for long. Right at the entrance to the room stood Mom, Reinhardt, and, to top it all off, Thomas. Reinhardt held his Digiknipse in his hands (mine was not yet unpacked) - that probably explained the flash. A big, broad grin was on all their faces. I licked my slightly parched lips, then I felt able to say a few words.
"Can't you even sleep in undisturbed on a Sunday?”
Mom laughed.
“I'm sorry, sleepyhead, but we have a lot to do today. So wake up your brother and get out of bed! Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes.”
With these words, she and Reinhardt left, but Thomas stayed and closed the door and then the window.
"It's freezing cold in there. I couldn't sleep like that.”
All the commotion had now woken Tim too, and after a few tentative movements, he grumbled, slightly annoyed.
“Do we really have to get up already? We just went to bed.”
I was pleased to note that we were once again of the same mind. Nevertheless, I couldn't spare him, unfortunately.
“I'm sorry, little one, but it has to be.“ ‘Look, you can stay in bed a few more minutes, I'll go through the bathroom first.’
”Okay.“
He put his head back on my chest. As hard as it was for me, he couldn't stay there.
”Tim.“
”What is it?”
“Could you possibly let me out?“
He was a little confused at first, but then he realized what was going on and chuckled softly.
”If it absolutely has to be...”
He let go of me and turned away from me, so that I could now get over him with a little effort and leave the bed. I grabbed my clothes and made my way to the bathroom, and only halfway there did I notice that Thomas was standing in the room, stunned and frozen like a pillar of salt, staring at me wide-eyed. After a moment's thought, I realized why. Until just now, Tim and I had been lying mostly under the covers, so that Thomas was now able to get a full look at my unusual nightwear for the first time. His reaction to it was probably quite understandable.
“Now do you see why we don't mind sleeping in the cold?”
Thomas awoke from his stupor.
"Did the thing keep you warm or Tim?”
“Both, and also. Now, if you please, give me some room, I have to go to the bathroom."
He stepped aside, and I was able to start my morning routine. Thomas, however, had no hesitation in following me into the bathroom. Or at least to the door, where he now leaned against the frame.
“If I had known that my bed would be free, I would have turned up yesterday and spent the night here.“
”Was it that bad again?“
”My middle sister threw a pajama party for her friends, that says it all. Oh yes, you would have been quite delightful in your outfit.”
“Surely better than you in your nightgown.“
”Hey! Today's fashion-conscious, elegant young man wears a nightgown.“
”Where did you get that from? From a BRAVO from 100 years ago?“
”From Christine. Or from Andrea? It could have been Jeanette too.“
”Argh, spare me your varied love life!”
“Why, are you jealous?“
”I might be if you had said Christian, Andreas and Jean.“
”Don't worry, I'll gladly leave them all to you.”
In the meantime, I had done most of the things that needed to be done and was now standing in front of the mirror in my boxer shorts. A glance at myself told me that I needed to shave again, so I reached for the necessary tools. That was the sign for Thomas to take away the last bit of privacy I had, so he came into the bathroom and sat down on the stool. Then he spoke in a low voice.
“Tell me, is there something going on between you and Tim?”
I sighed. Tim's behavior continued to puzzle me. On the one hand, it was rather strange for a sixteen-year-old boy to snuggle up to another boy and kiss him good night before going to bed. On the other hand, I had more and more the suspicion that this had nothing, but absolutely nothing to do with a corresponding “sexual orientation” with Tim. I had more the feeling that Tim, because of what he had experienced regarding his “mother”, placed particular value on affection, including physical affection, and that he didn't care at all what was “according to the usual social norms”. I found that quite pleasant. If I couldn't have him as a lover, then I wanted him at least as a (brotherly) loving little brother. Although, of course, it would be even better if there were more possibilities. Hm, why did everything in my life have to be so complicated?
"Not that I know of.”
“Then how do I find you cuddled up in the same bed like a couple?“
Obviously, no one had yet found the time to tell Thomas about what had happened since we returned from winterless Florida, so I took on the task. When I had finished, I could see from his face that he was also quite shocked.
”Wow, that's really intense!”
“Well, after all that, neither of us could fall asleep easily last night. Tim then asked if he could come over, and so we both ended up in my bed.“
”And then you were able to sleep.”
“Exactly. We just needed someone to make us feel like we weren't alone. But there really wasn't anything more to it than that – not that I would have minded. Not necessarily at that point in time, but in general."
In the meantime, I had finished shaving during my pauses in speaking, and it was time to let Tim take over anyway. So I shooed Thomas out of the bathroom in front of me. My brother had fallen asleep again, and I had to really shake him awake, as sorry as I was for it. He was not thrilled about it, and I had to resort to the worst threats to make him see reason.
“Come on, get out of bed, or do I have to show you what it's like to be tickled?“
That worked, and at a breakneck speed he sprinted into the bathroom. Thomas looked at me questioningly.
”Tickling?“
”Inside joke.“
”Oh yes.”
I slipped into my usual home attire, then the two of us went down to the kitchen, not without first admonishing Tim not to dawdle. When we arrived, we found my mother and Reinhardt putting the finishing touches on breakfast preparations.
"There you are. Is Tim going to be much longer?”
“If he doesn't fall asleep in front of the sink again, he should be here in a few minutes.“
”Good, then I'll throw the rolls in the oven. Thomas, are you having breakfast with us?“
”No thanks, I've just come from a similar event.“
”But you'll have a drink at least, won't you? Coffee, tea or cocoa?”
“Tea, if it's not too much work.“
”Nonsense. You know I have to make it for Danny anyway. Come on, sit down at the table.“
That's exactly what we were about to do when Reinhardt approached me.
”Danny, can you come into the living room for a moment?”
Hm, what was going on now? I followed him, and shortly afterwards we were sitting opposite each other at the coffee table.
“Danny, I don't know how best to phrase this, but... Danny, is Tim gay?”
Wow! I really hadn't expected this bombshell.
“You mean because we were in the same bed?“
”Well, I was a little surprised when Thomas came rushing into the kitchen and said that there was something we absolutely had to see.“
”Reinhardt, Tim and I slept together. We didn't sleep with each other. And to be honest, I have no idea whether Tim likes boys or girls. Besides, even if I knew, I couldn't tell you. I think Tim trusts me pretty much, and I don't want to risk that. So you'll have to ask him yourself, but I don't know if that would be such a good idea. Certainly not at the moment, he's got enough stress on his hands."
Tim's father slumped a little in his chair.
“I'm sorry. You're absolutely right. Tim trusts you unconditionally, and I certainly don't want my curiosity to harm that trust in any way. And it's also true that it's better if he takes the first step. If there is a first step to be taken. So please forget that I asked.”
“Okay. Thanks.“
”Could I ask you for something anyway?“
”Go ahead.“
”If he ever confides something like that to you, please tell him that it doesn't change the way I love him. He doesn't need to be afraid of my reaction.”
“Okay, I'll keep that in mind. But I don't think you have to worry about that anyway. After all, he experiences how you treat me every day. If something like that is going on in him, the only reason he hasn't told you yet is because he's not sure about it himself.”
“Okay, I accept. One more thing. I hope you're not too angry with me about last night.“
”What do you mean? Why should I be angry with you?“
”Well, because of your punishment.“
”Hey, I never felt that way. On the contrary, it was fun. And I think we all needed something like that.”
“I just want to be sure that you know that I would never do violence to you or Tim.“
”Don't worry, I've known that for a long time. You're just not the type for that, besides, Tim wouldn't love you as much as he does.“
”I'm glad to hear that. Well, I think we should slowly go back to the others.“
”Okay, because I'm getting hungry.”
“Good. Oh yes, just for the record: if Tim is gay, and if you two... well, you know, become a couple, I would be very happy for you.“
”I'll keep that in mind.”
When we arrived in the kitchen, we found the rest of the party sitting at the table, so we were just in time for the official start. Tim looked at us questioningly.
“What was so important to talk about in the early morning?”
Now we had to come up with an excuse very quickly.
“Uh, Reinhardt just apologized again for his corporal punishment last night."
This statement naturally aroused Thomas' curiosity, so Tim told him in detail what I had to suffer the day before. My good friend Thomas thought it was so funny that he almost splashed half a cup of tea all over the table, snorting.
“I absolutely must see that in real life! Please let me know in good time if there's a repeat performance, I just have to see that! I'll bring our video camera with me."
Oh no, that's all I need. Copies of the video would be traded in the playground the next day, and it wouldn't take long for clips of it to be circulating on the internet. No way!
“No way! But maybe you can persuade Reinhardt to show you how it works on your own body.“
”For that to happen, he would have to give me a pair of pajamas like that too.“
”What do you say, Reinhardt, can you arrange that?"
Tim's father grinned to himself.
“Sure. I'm sure I can find a source on the internet.“ What was that, did I understand you correctly? If you have the thing, can I use you as a demonstration object for my disobedient offspring? Or was that just an empty promise?”
Thomas turned white and red in turns. He was used to mum and me being sharp-tongued, but he hadn't expected Reinhardt to jump right in.
“Huh, so the right people have really found each other. I'll probably have to be more careful in the future about what I say in this house. And yes, that was just an empty promise.“
”Too bad."
Tim spoke out what we all (except Thomas, of course) were thinking. Then we sat down to breakfast, and Mom started assigning tasks for the day.
“Reinhardt, Tim and I will go to the burnt-out apartment later and meet the insurance guy there. We'll take a few large garbage bags with us and see if we can salvage at least some of the clothes. Tim, do you feel up to it?”
“I'll survive it. After sleeping on it, it doesn't seem quite so bad anymore.“
”Good. Danny, would you please tidy your room... wrong. Would you please tidy your room and make room for Tim? For example, you could pack your summer clothes over in the closet in the guest room, you won't need them for the next few months anyway. And maybe clear a corner of your desk. I know you like to have all your computer stuff in one place, but Tim will only need a small space for homework and so on.”
“Okay, I'll take care of it. The space will be shared fraternally.“
”Very good.“
”Danny, if you don't mind, I'll stay here and help you."
Hm, with Thomas around, at least it wouldn't be boring. Whether we would get much work done, however, was another question. But what the heck, we just had to pull ourselves together a little. What do I mean by that? Well, the last time Thomas was supposed to help me with something, we got stuck in front of the computer. Four hours later, we had made considerable progress in our simulation game, but the curtain rail that needed to be installed was still lying completely untouched on the floor. My mother also looked a little skeptical, but refrained from making any comment.
And so it came about that half an hour later Thomas and I were standing around in the children's room, unsure of what to do (I'll just call it that, saying “Tim's and my room” all the time is getting too exhausting for me – which of course doesn't mean that I still consider myself a child!) and wondering where to start. Thomas was the first to come up with an idea, a typical Thomas idea, that is: work for me, pleasure for him. Okay, it really wasn't that bad, but sometimes he did have a habit of delegating work that needed to be done. Of course, he always had a good reason for it. A born politician.
“Since you're the one who knows your way around cupboards, I'll say you tidy up and I'll take care of the picture.”
The picture. By that he meant the photo Reinhardt had taken earlier that day of Tim and me. Before he set off with Mom and Tim to the scene of the fire, the photographer had handed us the camera with the task of making a few nice prints. Under threat of the most draconian punishments if we were to treacherously destroy the evidence.
“You just want to be able to make a printout yourself without being noticed. And tomorrow it will be making the rounds at school.“
”Don't worry, it won't be making the rounds. It will be hanging quietly on the bulletin board and not budging an inch.“
”Don't even think about it. I'll assign the paper to you, and then I'll count afterwards.”
“Go ahead. I'll just email the picture home and print it out there.“
”To do that, you'd have to have access to my email program, and I'm definitely not going to give you the password.“
”No problem, I'll just use the browser and send the picture via Hotmail.”
Oh God, I was really in a bind. Either I would have to delete the picture immediately and risk Reinhardt's punishment, or I would have to live with not having any control over what Thomas would do with the picture. In the end, I decided to trust Thomas at least to the extent that he wouldn't do anything with it that might make me uncomfortable. I mean, otherwise he wouldn't be my best friend, would he?
"Okay, okay. You know how everything works, so get started.”
While Thomas switched on the various devices and made himself comfortable in my computer chair, I opened my large wardrobe and tried to get an overview of its contents. After a while, I came to the conclusion that with a little goodwill, I could easily free up space for Tim's things. For the things that would have to be bought again.
I spent the next hour moving summer shirts, T-shirts, swimming trunks, shorts and similar things into the guest room, and sorting what would remain in the closet so that two well-divided areas were created in the closet. Thomas, meanwhile, ran the printer and otherwise watched me more or less disinterestedly as I went about my business.
“If you don't have anything better to do, you could clear out the cabinet on your old bed.“
”Okay."
A few minutes later, a pile of magazines, books, pens, and other odds and ends were on the desk, and I showed Thomas briefly what he should put in the trash and what he should move to my own nightstand. The latter was probably not such a good idea, because the next time I came into the room, he had an amused grin on his face and two things in his hands that made my blood rush to my head a little.
“Now I'm really convinced that you haven't fooled me, your love life is non-existent. I almost thought you were hiding a hot guy from me somewhere, but no. But you should hurry up, the rubbers don't last forever."
Argh! What Thomas was holding in his hands was one of the gifts he had ceremoniously presented to me for my last birthday. Mind you, during my party, in front of all the guests! The CD by the Backstreet Boys hadn't been a problem, but then came a colorful glossy magazine (which must have taken a lot of effort to buy in a station bookshop) and a packet of extra-strong condoms. The howls of laughter from the party guests were accordingly. I devoured the magazine from the first to the last page (and meanwhile also subscribed to it – in the name of my helpful mother), but the rubbers were still in their original packaging, waiting to be used. However, knowing my luck, they would have to wait even longer.
“I think I can put the rubbers somewhere at the very bottom of your cupboard, you don't need them anyway.”
“Thanks, do you have to rub that in my face too? I'm just not as sex-crazy as you are, the condom manufacturers make a killing off you. And that's a good thing, the idea that suddenly there are lots of little Thomases crawling around has something very frightening about it.”
“Each as good as he can.“
”And at thirty you get the bill. Then you're a completely exhausted ex-Casanova.“
”All the more I have to watch my life now to enjoy. Carpe diem. Besides, you're just jealous.”
He had touched a sore spot with that. Not that I wanted to draw on such abundant resources as he does, one Mr. Right would be quite enough for me. I sighed.
"I'm sorry, Danny, I didn't mean it like that. You'll find the right one for you yet. Maybe it's even Tim.”
“I hope so. I have no desire to end my life as an old, honorable male virgin.“
”Oh, you poor thing, when I hear you talk like that, I could easily be persuaded to help you out in this regard. I could certainly overcome myself once.”
“No way! The boy I let get close to me has to be handsome, intelligent, funny and in love with me. I'm afraid you don't qualify on any of those counts.“
”Well, if that's what you think, then you should probably reconsider your standards. You'll never find anyone better than me!”
“God, we're being modest again today. Then why can't anyone stand you for more than a week?“
”Uh, FYI, I've been with Christine for over three weeks now.“
Wow, that was a new record.
”You're obviously getting old. Or sensible?”
“I don't know. She's just... well, I don't know how to say it. Since we've been together, I somehow have lost interest in looking for others.“
Oh my god, that was really something new. Had he really been hit that hard? I really had to meet this Christine.
”When will you introduce me to her?”
“It's funny you should bring that up. I was thinking this afternoon. We're going skating together, and I was hoping you'd come with us.“
”And you couldn't think of a better place than mirror-smooth ice at ten degrees below zero?“
”Oh come on, don't be such a frostbite. Or do you have a better idea?”
“How about the sauna?“
”Sorry, you'll never get me back in there, that one time was enough for me. I'll never forgive you for dragging me there. Besides, you'd just be looking for naked men all the time, but I want you to meet Christine. You can take Tim to the sauna.”
Good idea. Since I had mustered up all my courage six months ago and – dragging Thomas along with me as my moral support – entered the municipal sauna for the first time, I went there at least once a week. No wonder, I could never get warm enough. Honestly, I was only interested in the wonderful warmth, the naked men were just a welcome bonus. Most of them had female companions anyway or were too old for me. Besides, you had to be pretty careful with your looks there.
“Okay, okay, so I'll go dig out my skates then.”
My mother had given them to me last year in a somewhat unsuccessful attempt to chase me out the door in the winter.
“But if I break my ass doing it, you're in big trouble.“
”You can stuff a thick pillow down your pants. But will you even have time? You must have a lot to do.“
”We'll see. We're done here for now, I don't know what else we need to do.“
”For example, you could clear a bit of space on the desk.”
Oops, I had completely forgotten that. That was easier said than done, though. Sure, I could move all the equipment a little closer together, but that probably wouldn't do much. Certainly not enough to create enough space for Tim. I let my eyes wander around the room, and that's when I had a bright idea.
“Thomas, give me a hand. The green stuff is flying out."
Right next to the desk was a flower stand with half a dozen house plants, pitiful house plants to be exact. They didn't like the change between cold night air and well-heated daytime air very much, and they drooped their leaves accordingly.
A few minutes later, the plants and their base had landed in the guest room, leaving a nice open space next to the desk. Now all I needed was a suitable table, and I would be able to store various computer parts on it. Even Tim's Christmas iMac – which luckily had not yet been installed in the burnt-out apartment and had to be picked up first – would still have more than enough space. But where could such a piece of furniture be found on a Sunday? This time it was Thomas who had the appropriate idea.
“Say, you used to have a small children's desk. Do you still have it somewhere? If I remember correctly, it should fit right here.”
And he remembered correctly.
"Come on, the thing is on the floor.”
I rushed out of the room and made my way to the stairs, but Thomas stopped me.
"Wait a minute, if the thing is on the floor, it will surely be quite dusty. We should take a bucket of water and rags with us. If we drag the table down so dirty and spread dust everywhere, your mother will have us drawn and quartered.”
Did I mention that Thomas would make a good househusband someday? Yes, I think I did. Anyway, we did exactly as he suggested, and a first rough clean was urgently needed right up at the storage area. Then we dragged the table into the children's room, where Thomas set about the fine cleaning while I unplugged various parts of the computer system. In the process, I came across the printed pictures, and Thomas had really outdone himself. Three times the size of A4, all that was missing was the matching frame around it. In addition, two sheets with four smaller editions each on them. All on glossy paper, of course. Hopefully Mom wouldn't get the idea to hang one of the pictures on the wall in her office or put it on her desk. I put the pictures back down, and when Thomas had finished scrubbing, I heaved the two printers and the scanner onto the old table, leaving more than enough space on the large desk for two roommates working on schoolwork at the same time.
"Okay, done. Do you notice anything else I forgot?”
Thomas looked around the room, then settled down on “his” bed.
“Nope, I think that's it. I'll be leaving soon anyway, my folks are expecting me for lunch.”
A glance at the clock showed me that it was indeed almost twelve. Just as I was beginning to worry about how to satisfy my own hunger, we heard a car drive up. I looked out the window, and there the three remaining family members were getting out of the Chrysler. Reinhardt took two large plastic bags out of the trunk and then followed the other two into the house. After a short break while they took off their winter clothes, all three of them emerged in the room.
“Well, here we are again. My God, you really did something! I was afraid I'd find you lost in front of the computer.“
”But Mom, I promised I'd take care of the room. Here, look, half the closet is available to Tim too. Does he actually still have anything to put in it?”
Reinhardt pointed to the sacks with a difficult-to-interpret look.
"We've picked out the best stuff, but apart from two or three jackets and a few pairs of trousers, there's no point in trying too hard. We'll be lucky if we can get a little bit of it clean again. By the way, could you help Tim out with a pair of trousers right away? He slipped in the apartment and tore his.”
A closer look on my part actually showed a long tear in Tim's jeans.
“No problem, we'll find something suitable.”
"Great. We stopped at McDonald's and brought something to eat. Thomas, will you eat with us?”
“No thanks. I'd better buzz off now. Danny, if you can make it, be at the ice rink after 2:00, okay? Tim, you too, if you feel like it. Let Danny explain.“
”I'll see if I can make it.“
”Come on, don't be like that, I really want you to meet Christine.”
“All right, if I have time, I'll come."
Thomas said goodbye in turn, and shortly afterwards the slamming of the front door showed us that he had set off for home. Mom and Reinhardt also left the room now, with the instruction that we should be ready for dinner in ten minutes. Tim peeled off his clothes and flung the torn jeans into the corner.
“Shitty quality. The thing was practically brand new.“
”Put it on the insurance list. So, take a look in the closet and pick out another pair of pants. Probably all of them are a little too big for you, but that can't be helped right now."
Tim went on a search and shortly thereafter brought out a pair of black jeans.
“Can I try them on?“
”You can try on whatever you like. Go ahead. My house is your house. Or rather, my closet is your closet.“
”Thanks.”
Well, in theory that sounded good, but in practice Tim stumbled over the too-long trouser legs, and without a belt he was once again left without trousers in no time. I had only just bought the black jeans, and to make matters worse, they were also a little too big, as I had not yet completely given up hope of growing another two or three centimeters.
“That's not going to happen. Do you have anything smaller, you know your clothes better."
I thought back and forth, unfortunately I had cleared out my wardrobe at the beginning of fall and had also thrown out some pants that had become a bit too small. But wait, I hadn't thrown them all away! One of them had to still be lying around somewhere. I rummaged a little in the drawers that I hadn't touched earlier in the day, and my search was actually successful. I pushed a pair of rather washed-out, but otherwise still flawless dungarees into Tim's hands.
“Here, try these on. They're too short for me. I actually wanted to cut off the legs, but then I forgot about it.“
Tim slipped into them, the length was just right, and they weren't too wide either. Rather the opposite, they were really nice and tight. Tim seemed to agree.
”Great, I'll take them. If you don't mind.”
“I don't, absolutely not. When I see how well it fits you, it's clear to me that it would never fit me.“
”Okay. Thanks. But I'll take it off again first."
He did as he said, and then we went downstairs to the kitchen, where the microwave had now brought the McD's snacks back up to an edible temperature. Shortly afterwards, we pounced on our food like half-starved shipwrecked people. It wasn't long before at least Tim's and my plates were empty, with the exception of the inevitable traces of spillage that occur when eating Big Macs and the like. My mother looked at me questioningly.
"What did Thomas mean earlier about ‘after two o'clock at the ice rink’?”
“He wants to introduce me to his girlfriend.“
”He's never done that before. It would be quite expensive, given his rate of wear.“
”This time it seems serious. He and Christine have been together for over three weeks, believe it or not.“
”Excuse me? That's a real long-term relationship for him. Has there been anything like that before?”
“Not that I know of. He seems to be putting a lot of stock in my opinion this time. As if I have a lot of experience in relationships.“
Tim grinned at me challengingly.
”Maybe he wants an objective opinion that isn't influenced by any physical attraction.“
”In that case, he's come to the right person. Mom, what's the situation? Am I needed here or can I go?”
“If you're going to voluntarily go outside in the winter, I'm definitely not going to stand in your way. The room has been rearranged anyway, and there's not much more we can do today. I'll just take a look at the things he brought and see if there's anything I can salvage. So go ahead and leave.”
“Okay, thanks. Tim, are you coming?“
”I don't know. After all, he wants to introduce you to his girlfriend.“
”Thomas invited you too. He likes you too, and you should be proud of that. He's pretty picky when it comes to choosing his friends. Much pickier than he is with his girlfriends.“
”At least he has one.”
“Thanks, Mutsch. Thanks for plunging me even deeper into my depression.“
”My pleasure. Tim, if you want, you can go with them, we don't need you here either.“
”But I don't have any skates. Or rather, my skates have gone up in smoke.”
“You can borrow some there. Or you can have mine, I have no idea if they still fit me anyway.“
”All right, I understand. I'll come with you.“
”Very well. So we'll go upstairs and I'll try on the skates to see if they still fit me.”
Of course they didn't, but they fit Tim perfectly. It looked like I had found someone to whom I could leave all my clothes that were getting too small for me. Tough luck, little brother.
We spent the time until we had to leave scrubbing Tim's trophies and medals and then putting them on shelves or hanging them on the wall. This really added a touch of class to my modest hut. Shortly before two we got dressed and went downstairs. Tim walked in front of me, and the sight of his flawless backside in the skin-tight jeans was... well, stimulating. With difficulty I was able to suppress a deep sigh.
Our parents were busy unpacking the garment bags in the kitchen, and a quick glance at their contents showed me that this was probably all a waste of time. Reinhardt looks up at us.
“Ah, come on Tim, do a fashion show.”
The latter took a few dancing steps through the kitchen, turned on his own axis and then came back to me.
“Son, you'll have to be very careful not to lie down again. The seams are about to burst anyway.“
”The others were too wide for me, and I would have had to constantly watch them not to lose them.“
”Whatever you say. Well then, have fun you two.”
My mother joined in this pious wish, and five minutes later we were trudging through the snow towards the ice rink. This had been a source of income for the operator for weeks, who also needed it, because the year before he had hardly had the opportunity to properly ice the rink. Last winter had been more to my liking, with average temperatures well above freezing. However, this year, St. Peter seemed to want to make up for his supposed mistake.
When we arrived at the appointed place, we could see that the ice was very busy. Mainly people between the ages of 10 and 25 populated the slippery surface, including some couples walking around tightly entwined. Hm. Apparently, everyone was conspiring against me, constantly rubbing my not-yet-found better half in my face. Nothing but happy couples – argh! I was starting to fear for my peace of mind.
We stood at the edge of the ice and looked for Thomas – which we could have saved ourselves, because the next moment he appeared next to us.
“Danny, Tim! Glad you could make it!“
”As if I've ever denied you anything.“
”You do it all the time. Anyway, guys, I want you to meet Christine. Come on, Christine, show yourself.”
The girl in question had been mostly hidden by Thomas up to this point and now stepped next to him. Tall, slender, blonde – and with a heart-melting smile on her face – well, heart-melting, if I found girls heart-melting.
“Hello.”
"Christine, this is my best friend Daniel and his brother Tim.”
Daniel! Thomas knew very well that I didn't like to hear my full name. It always reminded me somehow of family stress. But just wait, two can play that game.
"Nice to meet you, Christine. Now tell me, how did a pretty girl like you end up with someone like Thomas-Johannes Kupfer?”
That, dear community, was my best friend's best kept secret. Apart from me, only his parents and a few school officials knew that he actually had a double name. His reaction was accordingly.
“Danny, I'm going to kill you for this! Next summer, I'll throw you off the railroad bridge into the river and you'll drown miserably. No, I won't wait that long. I'll lock you naked in the cold storage room at Jürgen's butcher shop. How I'll gloat over your torment!"
Christine, on the other hand, was anything but shocked.
“Is that really your name? Thomas-Johannes?“
With a distorted face, it was hard to tell whether it was from anger or from suppressed laughter, the man nodded his head.
”Well, I think it's cute. Somehow really romantic. It suits you. Thomas-Johannes. May I call you Tho-Jo?”
That seemed to appease Thomas a little.
“All right, but only when we're alone. And Danny, if you ever tell anyone, I'll make good on my threat. And that goes for you, too, Tim.”
“Then I strongly suggest you don't introduce me as Daniel in the future.”
"Okay, deal.”
Christine was relieved. Not being used to the usual banter between me and her boyfriend, she didn't realize how serious (or, more accurately, how not serious) the situation had been.
“Well then. And to answer your question: I met Tho-Jo on the bus in December. He was on his way to bring his best friend, the famous Danny, who was currently ill, his homework.“
”So I was the subject of your conversation on the very first day? I'm honored.”
“Indeed. And I'm mighty glad to finally meet you. Thomas talks about you a lot.“
”Only the good things are true – although he usually understates a lot – the bad things he usually makes up out of thin air.”
“Don't worry, I already know that. If you're interested, you're very important to him. Back then on the bus to your sickbed, he was really worried sick himself.”
“That wasn't worry about me. He just didn't know how he would survive the days without me. I mean, who was going to get him out of the mess he regularly gets into every two or three days? But now tell me what you find so special about him.“
”Oh, where to start? He's good-looking.”
Hm, well, it's a matter of taste. For my taste, he was a bit too athletic.
“He's intelligent.”
Excuse me? She had known him for three weeks and still believed that?
“He's funny.”
Okay, Thomas was always cracking jokes. But often enough, no one could laugh at them.
"And he's extremely brave.”
Huh?
“What makes you say that?”
"Well, it takes a lot of courage to introduce your girlfriend to a handsome boy like you. After all, it could end up being a disaster.”
Great, wonderful, superb! If it hadn't been so cold, Thomas, Tim and I would have been rolling on the floor laughing. At first I had my doubts about Christine, because she was female, blonde and good-looking, and because of the prejudice that these characteristics go hand in hand with an IQ at room temperature. But she actually seemed to be the big exception to the rule. Now, however, she looked at us rather bewildered. The sight of three guys who – apparently for no reason – almost couldn't breathe from laughing didn't seem to be an everyday occurrence for her.
"Could you tell me what there is to laugh about?”
It took quite a while before we were able to do so. Somehow I was the first to regain my composure.
“I'm sorry, Christine, but if you were hoping for that, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. I'm afraid you'll have to make do with this clumsy oaf here.”
"Oh, so you're already spoken for.”
My laughter that followed was rather strained.
“I wish. You don't happen to have a good-looking twin brother, do you?”
Christine looked a little confused at first, but then an understanding expression spread across her face.
“Ah, you're gay. I take back everything I said about Thomas's courage. There was really no danger for him."
This remark conjured a slightly offended expression on Tim's face, which was immediately spotted by Thomas's girlfriend.
“Sorry, Tim, you're anything but ugly, but a little too young for me. What are you, fifteen?“
”Sixteen.“
”You don't look it. But anyway, I'm sorry, you wouldn't be interesting to me for at least a year."
Tim seemed to be able to live with that, and he smiled to himself again.
“And Danny, I'm really sorry, but I don't have a twin brother, I'm an only child. The most I could do is set you up with my piano teacher, but he's already over fifty and, what's more, has been married, so to speak, for decades.“
”Lucky him.”
“Hey, take a look around the ice rink, there are some guys skating alone.“
”That's true, but as soon as I step onto the ice, everyone present will probably be busy laughing at me. So I'd better not do it, I don't have any skates anyway.”
But I had reckoned without the three of them, and with combined forces they dragged me to the skate rental place. Shortly afterwards, despite all my protests, I was on the ice.
I spent a good half of the next hour either falling down or picking myself up again, a performance that was certainly less suitable for the sports show than for programs like “Pleiten, Pech und Pannen” (a German sports show with a focus on failure and mishaps). Hopefully no one was there with a video camera. I certainly didn't attract the attention of a handsome boy with my performance. And if he did, then he was surely a paramedic taking a look at his future clientele.
Whatever. During the times when I was desperately holding on to my legs, I learned a lot about Thomas's latest flame. He had never been accused of bad taste, only of a rather frequent change of taste. Christine, however, combined more or less all the good qualities of her predecessors in one person, and she obviously also had the necessary determination to tie Thomas down for a longer period of time. She had him wrapped around her little finger, and I wasn't quite sure whether the poor guy had even realized what was happening to him. His free, unattached life may have come to a rather abrupt end with Christine. Well, he could have done a lot worse. And that's exactly what I told him when my torments were finally over and Christine was waiting with Tim in line at the mulled wine stand to finally be served. They had left Thomas and me behind, and he took the opportunity to ask me for my opinion about his girlfriend.
"What do you think of her?”
“Honest answer?“
”Sure.“
”Okay. You don't deserve a gem like that.“
”Thanks! Does that mean you approve of her?“
A very strange question.
”You never cared about that before.“
”But I care about it now, okay?”
“All right, all right. You probably just want some validation for your ego. Well, I would strongly advise you not to mess it up with Christine. Someone like her, who looks good, is intelligent, and despite everything finds you attractive, you certainly won't run into her again anytime soon.“
”Should I introduce her to my parents?“
”You haven't done that yet?”
“No, I wanted to hear your opinion first.“
”You should do that as soon as possible. She seems to me that it would mean something to her.“
”Okay, I'll ask her right now if she wants to come home with me later.“
”Then choose your words wisely, lest she come to the wrong conclusion when asking this question.”
“Right. Thanks. Uh... you won't believe it, but we... we haven't yet... well, you know.“
”WHAT?!? After more than three weeks? You haven't been dependent on your own hand for such a long time in years.“
”You speak from experience. But I don't want to rush into anything with her.”
“That's a good intention. I think she's worth it. So, now
Dr. Sommer closes his practice and devotes himself again to his own dreams for a better future.“
”Thanks, Danny. I probably haven't said it to you clearly in a long time, but your friendship means a lot to me.”
“It's my pleasure. If I could just find out why the nice guy always stays alone, it would help me a lot.”
“You're really quite desperate in that regard at the moment, aren't you?“
”Absolutely. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because I see nothing but happy couples around me?“
”You mustn't despair. You'll see, it won't be long before you're no longer single. Maybe you should just see if there's a gay youth group or something like that around here.”
“I don't know, that's not really my style. I don't want to isolate myself by retreating into some kind of self-imposed gay ghetto. I'm glad I have plenty of 'normal' friends.”
“You shouldn't change that. But the chance of finding someone for you there is likely to be much greater than just waiting for a friend to fall into your lap.”
“You're right. I'll think about it.“
”But don't take too much time over it, otherwise I'll drag you there myself by the scruff of the neck. Even though all the covetous looks will fall on me for a change.”
“Dream on, baby. Gays are much more demanding and choosy than your Christine. But okay, once we've survived the stress of the move, I'll see if I can find something like that nearby.“
”Promise?“
”I promise.”
“Good. I need you to be in a good, balanced mental state. Otherwise, how are you supposed to help me with my little problems?“
”God, what an unselfish friend you are. Don't let Christine hear that. And speaking of her, put on your best face, here they come.”
I had barely spoken the words before Tim was already pressing a mug of mulled wine into my hand. Just what I needed right now.
During the next few minutes, Thomas asked his girlfriend if she would like to accompany him back to his place so he could introduce her to his family. Christine seemed very happy about this, and shortly afterwards the two of them were walking arm in arm. There was no reason for Tim and me to stay at the ice rink any longer, so we also headed for home. We arrived just in time for a slightly delayed coffee. My mother used the social gathering to give Tim some not-so-good news.
"Tim, I'm really sorry, but with the exception of a single jacket, we'll probably have to throw away all of your clothes.”
“I was afraid of that.“
”While Danny is enjoying himself at school tomorrow, the three of us will go on a big shopping spree. After all, we have to fill all the space he's created for you as quickly as possible.“
”There's no rush. It's enough if we just get the essentials at first. I'm sure Danny can help me with a lot of things.”
“No way. You and Reinhardt should feel comfortable here, and that includes having enough of your own things. So prepare yourself for a massive fitting orgy.”
I had to grin. I knew something like that well enough, and I was mighty glad not to be the victim this time. Reinhardt and especially Tim would be able to admire almost exclusively dressing rooms from the inside tomorrow morning. I would probably have it more comfortable in the school - and that means something.
The rest of the day was uneventful, I spent some time packing up my school things, and shortly after nine I said goodbye and headed for bed, where Tim followed me half an hour later. This time, unfortunately, into his bed. Fortunately, our problems with falling asleep from the previous evening did not recur, and after a few minutes I could tell from Tim's even breathing that he had fallen asleep without any problems. That in turn gave me the inner peace to follow him soon.
The night from Sunday to Monday was quiet and undisturbed, except for the fact that my mother crept into the room at night and woke me up quietly to order me to go to school. No matter how hard I tried to be quiet, my subsequent movements woke up the sleeper in the other bed. He now grinned at me quite contentedly from his feathers.
“Smile if you want, but your reprieve is short. Soon you'll have the pleasure again.“
”I know. But for now, I'll enjoy what you did to me last year. I'll watch you get ready for school. When you're gone, I'll turn over on the other side and think of you with regret.”
“Don't be too happy just yet. While I'll be sitting quietly in the bank later, you'll have to play the model. Knowing my mom, you'll be allowed to try on half the store. So, who's got it worse?“
”Trying on doesn't bother me, I even like shopping. But you should talk less now, your time is running out.”
What a driver. But he was right, if I didn't want to risk being late on the first day of school, I'd better hurry up. So I retreated to the bathroom, and when I left it a quarter of an hour later, my enviable little brother was already fast asleep again. I grabbed my things and then showed up in the kitchen for breakfast, where I was treated to the usual first-day-of-school-after-the-holidays admonitions. About behaving and cooperating and so on. Over the years, I had come to the conclusion that my mother only celebrated this harangue to get me out of the house and on my way to school as quickly as possible. As usual, this trick worked flawlessly. I was still chewing on the last bite when I slipped into my jacket and shoes to leave the house shortly afterwards.
My hasty departure from my home had the unpleasant side effect of me arriving at school earlier than I would have liked, and thus having to wait in the cold longer than I would have liked. Someone seemed to think that there was no need to let the students into the heated school building too early. Just as I was about to start feeling sorry for myself, an unpleasantly cheerful Thomas appeared next to me – which didn't exactly help to improve my mood either.
"Hi Danny! Isn't today a beautiful day?”
“Couldn't say. Tim is lying in a warm bed, I'm standing here in the cold, and you're radiating a cheerfulness that's anything but appropriate for the first day of school after the holidays. Are you going to tell me what's got you so worked up?“
”My parents love Christine. And Christine loves my parents.”
“And that's enough for you to make up with school?“
”I just appreciate the little things in life too.”
If he thought so. By and by, the other members of our loose clique arrived, and from a distance I saw Ralph furtively waving at me. Five minutes later we were finally let in, and it took me only about three full lessons to thaw out again to some extent. Fortunately, this school day was much more pleasant than my last one here. At least until I showed up at our usual table with my tray during the big lunch break and was greeted by nothing but grinning faces. I sat down and waited for an explanation – but it didn't come. Apparently they wanted to let me die a stupid death. I watched the goings-on for a moment, then I had enough.
“Could someone from the merry band tell me why you are all grinning like a herd of proverbial happy-go-lucky people?"
The general smirking turned into general laughter. Then Katja deigned to give an explanation. Or what she thought was an explanation.
“It's about time you found someone to keep you warm in bed.“
Oops, I had a terrible suspicion of what was going on here. And this suspicion was to be confirmed immediately. Jürgen handed Thomas a piece of paper, about A6 in size.
”Here, thanks for sharing that with us.”
With a quick grab, I snatched the corpus delicti from Thomas and immediately identified it as one of the smaller printouts of the picture showing Tim and me entwined in our Sunday bed.
"So that's how you thank me for being your advisor in matters of the heart. If I had known that, I would have left you high and dry at Christine's yesterday.”
“Oh come on, don't be like that. It really is a unique picture.“
”Did that traitor at least tell you the circumstances under which the picture was taken?“
Katja laughed.
”He did. You spent a hot night of love with Tim and forgot to lock the door to your room. You obviously still have quite little experience in these matters.”
“Thomas, you are so dead. Do you voluntarily jump out of the window or do I have to help?"
Again, the entire table erupted in uproarious laughter. Especially since such a jump out of the window wouldn't have hurt Thomas too much, considering that the dining room was on the ground floor. Well, and although I would have preferred this photo to have remained private, the general mood showed me that I was really damn lucky with my friends. Nevertheless, I wanted to explain the situation in a little more detail. If only because of Tim, who would soon become a victim of these so-called friends of mine.
“So, guys, in a nutshell. While we were in Florida, my mom's friend's apartment burned down, so he and Tim have been staying with us since Saturday. And after Tim saw his destroyed room, he was so upset that he couldn't fall asleep, and I felt the same way. So at some point he came to bed with me, and we just held each other through the night. Nothing more happened, and as far as I know Tim by now, I doubt that this will change at some point. Which, by the way, I sincerely regret. So, and now you can fight over who wants to take over the job of my best friend after the surprising resignation of Thomas.”
Once again, everyone present laughed, and this time I even managed to join in. Then Jürgen had another extremely important announcement for the bad picture dealer.
“Hey Thomas, when I was with the headmaster earlier because of the school newspaper, I ran into a girl... just great! She's in the class below us and it looks like it's her first day here. So she doesn't know about your reputation yet, maybe you'll have a chance with her.”
The hunter of all skirts mentioned got a red head for the first time on such an occasion! I was still allowed to experience that! And even his mouth only worked in a stuttering way, without producing any relevant sound combinations. So I had to intervene again to help.
“Everyone, I have an announcement to make. Whoever has a calendar with them, may they please take it out now and mark today with a red dot. Thomas is in love!” It has caught him terribly – so the new girl will probably have to do without his charm.”
This news had apparently shocked the assembled group even more than the picture of Tim and me. Katja expressed what everyone seemed to be thinking.
“Thomas? In love? Seriously?”
"Indeed. He and his Christine have been together for almost a month.”
The reactions to this ranged from soft whistles to loud applause. Which only made my best friend's head redder.
“Stop it, stop it! Am I not allowed to fall in love seriously? Is that so surprising?”
Wrong question. Synchronized response from almost a dozen throats:
"Absolutely!”
Everyone except Thomas snorted, and shortly afterward he leaned over to me and whispered something in my ear.
"Do I really have such a bad reputation?”
I whispered back.
“Well, not necessarily bad. But at least... well, extraordinary.”
“I'll have to be careful not to let my Christine hear about it.”
“Don't worry. The way she looked at you, she wouldn't be deterred by that.”
"Well, hopefully...”
Thomas's reply was interrupted by Jürgen.
"What are you whispering about? Since when have there been secrets here? Oh, by the way, Danny, the new girl also has a brother who should end up in our class. Julia said he was extremely handsome. Not that I could judge, but... Well, in any case, there's fresh meat for you, too.”
Well, thanks anyway. Fresh meat. I really wasn't looking for that. Besides, the chances of me having a chance with this “extremely handsome” fresh meat were clearly against me. But at least it might result in a pretty sight now and then. My eyes, not particularly pampered by the dreary school premises, could use it. And dreaming is allowed, isn't it?
“Jürgen, please don't promise me anything you can't guarantee. Or did he happen to have a rainbow sticker on his jacket?”
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. Unlike you, I don't look at guys that closely.”
“You should though. Even if you're not interested in them the way you are in me, you could at least see if they pose any kind of competition for you. Just a little food for thought.“
”Damn, I hadn't thought of that. Thanks for the tip.”
Then it was time to break up the cheerful gathering – unfortunately we couldn't avoid going back into the hands of our usually quite boring “teaching staff”. And boring applied to this teaching staff in many ways. Not a single handsome young teacher had found his way to our high school! He or she could have stimulated my performance and especially my cooperation. My only consolation was that the same applied to the opposite sex. The average age of the teaching staff was well over forty. God, our history teacher, not only taught history, he was more or less already part of it!
The remaining school hours passed relatively quickly nonetheless – even though the announced pretty boy didn't show up – and faster than expected, I inserted the key into the lock of our front door.
“I'm home, who's next?”
"Come to the kitchen.”
I took off my jacket and shoes and then followed my mother's voice. She was standing at the stove, stirring something in some pots, while Reinhardt was carrying plates to the table.
“Hello you two.”
The two said hello back, and I took a closer look at my future stepfather.
“You obviously didn't go shopping?“ Reinhardt still looks so perky, as if he didn't have to try anything on at all.”
That earned me a pained smile from the man in question.
"Oh yes, I had to go through quite a bit. I'm just a good actor. We only came in half an hour ago.”
They had been on the road for a long time, and I admired Reinhardt for his composure. I would have collapsed long ago after such a performance. Now Mutti turned to me.
"Will you have another plate of spaghetti?”
That was a pretty – excuse me – stupid question. As if I had ever said no to anything edible. Mutti realized that at the same moment.
"All right, of course you're eating. Go upstairs and take off your warm clothes, then come down in five minutes with Tim. He's in the process of stowing his prey in the closet.”
“Prey.” I wondered if Tim saw it that way. Whenever I had to endure such a shopping stress, I would call the purchases (however beautiful and expensive they might have been) at best a lousy compensation for a few terrible hours. I left the kitchen and climbed the stairs to the first floor. The door to the room was half open, and from a distance I could already see a visibly satisfied Tim putting his things away in his closet. Well, let's see what he got.
“Hello, little brother.”
"Hello, big brother. Well, was school nice?”
“The school itself, as a building, yes. At least to some extent. What went on in it, not so much.“
And by that I didn't mean so much the appearance of the compromising picture as what had to be endured in the actual school hours.
”And how was your day? For a morning of shopping with my mother, you still look pretty damn happy and cheerful.”
“I told you, I like going shopping.“
”Was it worth it? You do realize that a fashion show is on the agenda afterwards.“
”Okay, if you want. And yes, it was worth it. A few pairs of pants, jackets, sweaters, shirts, shoes, and lots of odds and ends.”
“As I said, I want to see all of that later, so don't even try too hard when you're putting the stuff away. Now, I have to get out of these warm clothes, and then we can go downstairs and eat noodles.“
”Oh yes, I'm ravenous. I ate a bratwurst on the way here, but it didn't last long.”
I did what I had announced, and then we stormed down the stairs to the predator feeding.
Twenty minutes and a tablecloth covered in tomato sauce by Reinhardt himself later, I settled into my computer chair while Tim started showing me his acquisitions. A pair of low-rise jeans, three regular jeans, a few fleece shirts, a couple of shirts, two winter jackets, various shoes and trainers – the presentation took a good half an hour, and I was able to see that my little brother had quite exquisite taste when it came to his clothes. I would certainly not have to be ashamed of him anywhere.
"Well chosen, Tim. These things look great on you.”
“Thanks. May I keep these anyway, even though I have my own clothes now?“
He pointed to the faded trousers I had provided for him yesterday.
”Sure, they don't fit me anymore anyway. But they probably won't fit you much longer either.“
”That's right. But as long as they still fit me, I'd like to wear them from time to time.“
”No problem, go ahead.”
“Thanks. Oh, and by the way...“
Now he smiled at me a little, well, how should I put it, bashfully.
”Yes?“
”Unfortunately, you were absolutely right.“
”I always am. About what?“
”Do you remember our first afternoon together, here in your room?“
”What exactly do you mean?”
Instead of an answer, he took something out of one of his wardrobe compartments and held it out to me. I unfolded it and started snorting.
“Don't laugh so dirty!”
“Just like I threatened you. But don't worry, you'll get used to it.”
I handed him back the blue tights and grinned at him.
“Weren't you going to fight it tooth and nail, and if necessary even stir up Reinhardt?“
”I tried everything, but your mother is extremely convincing. Dad only avoided getting some because there are none in his size.“
”Well, then maybe you should start growing a lot, and fast.”
“Don't worry, that's exactly what I plan to do. Well, at least I'm allowed to wear my one set of 'normal' underwear while it still fits me. At least I have something for changing days at school.”
“I can only give you one piece of advice on this subject: come to terms with it. If you keep pulling yourself up on it, it won't do any good. Believe me, I speak from my own painful experience.“
”Probably right. So, now tell me in more detail, what was it like at school?”
“Do I have to? I'm not particularly keen on this topic, I'm happy every day when I can forget school until the next morning.”
“I'm really sorry, but since I'll be going to the institution you grace with your presence by next week at the latest, I'd just like to have some advance information.“
”Really? You're changing next week already?“
”Yep, at the latest. Maybe even sooner. It doesn't make sense anymore to put it off any longer.”
Well, that was good news. So I let the cat out of the bag a little, trying not to scare Tim away right from the start. Okay, my school wasn't that bad, especially after the extensive renovations of recent years, but still. School was still school. When I told Tim about the unfortunate lack of handsome young teachers, he laughed out loud.
“That's the biggest negative for you, of course, isn't it?“
”Indeed! And just so you don't rejoice too soon: there isn't a single handsome young teacher.“
”They do it on purpose so that the students aren't distracted.“
”Possible. In any case, you'll quickly realize that looking at the board is almost always more pleasant than looking at the teacher.”
“Doesn't sound very promising. And what about the students?“
”Well, there are some who are worth a second look. Male and female. Just today, Jürgen told me that he met a new student who, according to him, looks 'really great'. By the way, she will probably go to your future class.”
“Well, at least that's something. I'm not the only new kid.“
”You won't be that new anyway. Besides me, there are a lot of other people you already met at Katja's party.“
”Does that mean I can also talk to you at school?“
”What do you mean?”
“Well, in my old class I had a friend who was invisible to his big brother at school. And woe betide him if he had the idea of speaking to him or even sitting at his table at lunchtime. Strangely enough, they were the best of buddies at home.”
“You don't need to worry about that. Yes, there are guys like that at our school too, but in our 'club' there are no such class barriers.“
”Well, that's a relief. So, what are we going to do now?“
”I don't know what you're doing, I have to get down to my homework.“
”Do you want your little brother to help you?”
“Don't get cocky, model student. By the way, you were already the topic of conversation at our lunchtime get-together today.”
I told Tim about the incident with the compromising picture, and he didn't even bother to think about whether he should laugh or cry – he just laughed. He had a sunny disposition, the little one.
At that moment there was a knock at the door, and Reinhardt entered.
“Boys, what's going on? We thought it would be a nice change to pick up Tim's new computer now.“
Of course, Tim was thrilled.
”Great! I'll get dressed right away."
And just like that, he was out of his jeans and the next moment looking for his last surviving pair of thermal underwear.
“Where did I put... Damn... in the wash. Oh well, what the heck...“
He said, reaching for the tights he had shown me a moment ago. Not entirely convinced, he looked at them.
”Say, Danny, how do you put one of these things on?”
Of course, I was only too willing to show him – constantly watched by a grinning Reinhardt standing in the open door. He also had a question for me.
“Are you coming too, Danny?”
Hm, interesting question. On the one hand an interesting offer, on the other hand... when I thought of the pile of homework, coming along didn't seem like a good idea.
“Nah, I'll stay here and get on with my schoolwork. I'll definitely be done by the time you get back, so we can set up together.“
”Oh, how responsible! Your mother will be pleased to hear that.“
”Well, I have to be a good role model for my little brother, don't I?“
”You got it.”
Meanwhile, Tim had slipped back into his jeans and was leaving the room with his father. I, for one, made good on my announcement – and regretted my decision not to go within minutes. Students were the most pitiable social group. When I thought of all the things we were taught that we would never need again after graduating from school,
Well, whatever. After two hours that felt like two days, I had gotten the punishment over with, and slowly even the diligent computer buyers could start to reappear. I laid out some parts that we would need to connect the computers, then I waited for the return of the shopping troop with a glass of Coke (I would make sure that Reinhardt didn't come too close to this drinking vessel) and a few gingerbread cookies. From where I was sitting, I could see the driveway, so I would easily know when to go down and help carry the stuff up. I had the house to myself for a change, and a short period of peace and quiet was not to be sneezed at either.
That is, I thought I had the house to myself. So I was all the more startled when my mother suddenly opened the door and entered. I had lounged down in my computer chair and put my feet up on the table – something my mother hated. Accordingly, I switched to “caught-sinner mode” and almost managed to fall out of the chair while assuming an acceptable sitting position.
"What are you doing here, I haven't seen a car coming yet!”
“Why car? Oh, I see. I didn't go with it, I'm not that interested in the technical stuff. And there was still enough to do here anyway.“
”I didn't even realize that there was someone else in the house.“
Well, no wonder, I had the stereo on as usual while I did my homework.
”What have you been doing?”
“Here, look, the jacket looks like new, doesn't it?“
”One of Tim's?“
”Yes. I think I got everything out. And from the jeans here, too, I wouldn't have expected."
It actually looked like these two things would be usable again. Not that Tim really needed them after the morning shopping trip. Then I remembered something else.
“Say, his long underwear didn't survive the fire, did it?“
This remark caused my mother to laugh out loud, and with a cheerful sparkle in her eyes, she looked at me.
”No, it didn't. But he got lots of nice new things. He didn't complain, did he?”
“Well, I wouldn't say he was complaining, but you know...“
”Well, if he wants to live with me, he'll just have to live with it. Besides, I think it's only fair to you.”
So my brother really had to go through with it. But what the heck, there were worse things. Although I would have found it even fairer for me if I had also been allowed to switch to normal thermal underwear. But that would probably not happen until the day I moved into the old people's home. However, before I could dwell on this thought any further, a car honked its horn and turned onto the property.
“Come on, Danny, let's go downstairs and help unload and carry upstairs."
We did that, and half an hour later I was sitting next to Tim, beaming with enthusiasm, and helping him to install his latest acquisition. Now it was actually supposed that the computer should relieve us humans of work, and thus we would have more time for other things – however, I had made the experience that as a proud computer owner, you spent so much time in front of the monitor that many other things that were important to you before fell by the wayside. Especially, of course, when you started up a new computer. This was confirmed once again, because we had barely gotten into it when the call for dinner sounded. We kept it extremely short, and soon we were staring at the monitor again. Of course, we completely lost track of time, and when our parents came into the room at some point and ordered us to turn off the computers, we were completely surprised to find that it was already past 10 p.m.
Shortly thereafter, we were lying in our respective beds, and another night, which of course was much too short for me, began.
The next morning, the unpleasant spectacle of the previous day was repeated, that is, Tim stayed in the warm bed and I had to face the cold world. If you wanted to go so far as to call what happened at school “life”. Once again it had snowed half the night, and to our great surprise, the school authorities had decided to let us poor lambs into the heated building earlier! When I entered the room, a large part of my fellow students were already sitting on their chairs, waiting for things to come. Chemistry. I could easily do without it. Definitely one of those subjects that I would never really need. I took my seat and looked at a rather tired-looking Thomas.
“What's the matter with you, did you have a long night with Christine?”
"You'd better not ask me.”
Well, if he didn't want to talk, I wouldn't force him. Intruding on me was really not my style. Even if curiosity killed me! I turned in the other direction and greeted Jürgen and Lisa. The next moment Thomas tugged at my left arm.
“What, do you want to know now?”
"I think I'm not supposed to ask!”
“Stupid. I spent half the night in the emergency room at the hospital.“
”What? What happened?“
”Caren fell while ice skating, and someone ran into her right arm with their skate. She bled like a pig.“
”Shit. How is she?”
“She's doing quite well again. The wound had to be stitched, but with a little luck there won't be much of a visible scar.“
”Thank God. Give her my best and tell her I hope she gets well soon.“
”I will.“
”Tell me, but why were you in the emergency room? What happened to your parents?”
“They were at a concert and had turned off their cell phone, of course. I had no idea where exactly they were, so I went to the hospital with them and waited there until our parents had arrived home and heard the good news from my sisters. I was home around midnight, but I was still lying awake at three.“
”Then maybe you would have preferred to stay in bed today.”
“Hah, I wish! Unfortunately, my parents don't play along."
It seemed somehow familiar. Before my mother took me out of school, all hell had to freeze over. However, since, according to the Christian definition, as a gay frostbite, I would end up in that very hell, I didn't particularly care about it freezing over. It should stay well heated there.
However, we were unable to continue our conversation, because just at that moment our chemistry teacher entered the room. She was a rather small, elderly woman, who always made us suspicious that she secretly experimented with the supplies in the chemistry cabinet after school and then smeared her creations on her face as homemade cosmetics. Apart from that, she was definitely one of the better parts of the local teaching staff, was always up for a joke and was pleasantly restrained in her favorite pastime of many other teachers – annoying students. As always, she came at the last minute, and as soon as she put down her bag, the bell rang.
She spent the first few minutes happily chatting about how she had spent the holidays, but then she was a little lost for words when she wanted to start the projector and found that it was still in a holiday mood – that is, nothing could persuade it to work.
“Damn it.” You really couldn't accuse her of being particularly reluctant to use swear words. ”What do I do now? I've got it. Danny, run to the physics cabinet quickly and ask if you can borrow their projector.”
That's what I got for always being polite and helpful. It wasn't even that I was sitting right at the door – no, I was singled out. Dear Danny will take care of it. Well, there was nothing I could do about it. I rose and left the room. “Run quickly,” she had said. I certainly wouldn't do that now. After all, we were told over and over again that running was not allowed in the school building. So I strolled leisurely through the entire floor to the other end of the building. When I reached the door of the physics room (infamous as the “sleep laboratory”), I was just about to knock when I only managed to avoid getting hit in the face by the door jumping open with a world-record-breaking, reaction-fast leap to the side. The next moment, I was looking at our deputy headmistress, who was apparently no less shocked than I was.
"Daniel! My God, what are you doing here at the door? In the middle of class?”
I refrained from asking her the counter-question, which prompted her to push open the door of a classroom with such force as if she wanted to catch an eavesdropper behind it.
“Ms. Kraus sent me to scrounge the projector.”
"Ah yes. Then I won't keep you any longer, go in and ask Mr. Tröger.”
I would have liked to have done that, but for that it would have been very advantageous if she had released the door. She did so, and I wanted to take advantage of this and enter the room – and promptly had my next near-collision. This time, however, not with a wooden board with a handle, but with a boy I had never noticed before. And he really must have been new, otherwise I would have noticed him before! I really wasn't blind. Especially not in this regard.
Slim, a few centimeters taller than me, light blonde, his face unadorned by any facial hair or pimples, deep blue eyes, full red lips curved into a slight smile.
“Excuse me. I didn't mean to stand in your way.“
”No problem, I seem to want to run into things everywhere today.“
We looked at each other for a brief moment (the moment was long enough to put my insides in complete turmoil), then we were rudely interrupted in our mutual contemplation.
”Philipp, come on, we have to go further.”
Philipp. What a fitting name for this divine being.
“Sorry, I have to go.”
With these words, he pushed past me out of the room, and I wished our deputy at that moment to the place on the planet, which represented for me the most terrible place ever: to the North Pole. Okay, South Pole would not be bad either, I was not so choosy.
Well, that's it for now. I could only hope that I would run into the good Philipp again. I certainly wouldn't mind bumping into him more often! And I mean really bumping into him! Strangely enough, I didn't think a single word about Jürgen's announcement from the day before regarding a new student. Which once again proves that the school environment is anything but conducive to thinking.
I apologized to the physics teacher for the disturbance, asked for and received the projector, and set out on the way back to my own class. Of course, I couldn't run as much as I was carrying, so I took all the time in the world. Then, in front of the door to the chemistry room, it happened. I clamped the projector under my left arm as best I could and reached for the door handle with my right hand. After all, I was expected, so why knock? However, not everyone behind the door was expecting me. To cut a long story short: once again a door flew open in front of me, and this time there was no escape for me. I lost my footing completely and the next moment I landed unceremoniously on my backside. During the whole event, I – as a responsible and property-conscious student – had held on to the projector tightly, thus protecting it from a violent impact on the stone floor and being broken into its component parts. It would have been better to let go of it and save myself from the violent impact! But the most powerful piece was yet to come. Again, it was our deputy headmistress who had flung open the door without thinking twice! And her reaction was very similar to the first attempt.
"My God, Daniel! You again! You're trying to give me a heart attack with all your might!”
Okay, that's it. Two devious attempts on my life in quick succession, using my full name twice, and then pretending that I'm the one who caused the incidents!
"My God, Ms. Möller! You again! You really want to make sure that I have to give up the pleasure of attending class due to injury!”
She hadn't reckoned with that retort. She stared at my figure lying on the ground for a moment, then the corners of her mouth twitched upwards and she started laughing loudly. It was nice to see that at least one person found the situation funny.
“Sorry, Danny, I seem to be a bit too peppy today. Or too hectic. Director Schloder broke a leg and is in the hospital, and now all the work is falling on me."
Schlodderchen had broken a leg? I wonder if she ran him over too?
“I don't really know where my head is. But back to you. Did anything happen to you? All your bones still in one piece?“
Well, I had to give her credit for asking about my condition and not about the projector.
”Is the projector still in one piece?”
I spoke too soon. In the meantime, Ms. Kraus had also arrived, and I handed the projector to her so that I could get back up myself, freed from this burden. Fortunately, I had once again survived a fall relatively unscathed. It must have been due to the appropriate training.
"I'm fine, thanks for asking.”
“Well, that's good. I have to go on. I have an appointment with a gentleman from the fire department, and that was... five minutes ago!"
Without giving Ms. Kraus, the projector or me another glance, Ms. Möller dashed off to open more doors somewhere in the building. Ms. Kraus just shook her head.
“Are you sure you're all right, Danny?“
”Yes, really. No problem. But I think we should put warning signs on all the doors today saying 'Caution, a deputy headmistress running around freely'. Next time it might not turn out so well.”
I probably wouldn't have been able to get away with saying that to any of our other faculty members – but Ms. Kraus laughed at it and thought it was a good idea. However, she said, these signs should be a permanent fixture. I didn't object.
After another “valuable” teaching period had been wasted in this clever way, we went without further delay to the room where Ms. Kraus set about putting the hard-won projector into operation. I wandered back to my seat, and I almost sat on my bottom again. There, sitting in the row in front of me, was the stunning door blocker from a few minutes ago, smiling at me with sparkling eyes! Somehow I managed to make it to my chair anyway and sit down, but I'd rather not know what I looked like at that moment. (Very) freely adapted from the Erlkönig: “He reached the chair with great difficulty, and lo and behold, the head was red.” How much had the blond angel seen of my humiliating fall? One thing was now certain, however: I would probably understand even less of the subject matter in his presence than ever before. There was only one really good side to the situation: he was sitting in front of me, so he couldn't see how I was literally devouring him with my eyes. However, others were not as limited in their view of me. Jürgen grinned at me challengingly.
"Well, did I promise you too much yesterday?”
God, the guy was nosy! I stuck out my tongue at him and turned to Thomas. Only to look into his no-less-grinning face. Resigning, I shifted the target of my eyes forward, looked at the back of a cute blonde's head, and was saved from further inquisitorial questions from my friends by the triumphant outcry of Ms. Kraus, who had finally got the projector going. The rest of the lesson – not much of it was left – dragged on excruciatingly slowly. Despite Frau Kraus, chemistry really wasn't my favorite subject.
Finally, the agony was over. When the bell rang, I couldn't see Philipp rush out of the room as fast as he could. What was the meaning of this? In any case, his disappearance was the command for my so-called friends to attack me. I didn't really notice who was storming me.
“Hey, Danny, isn't he cute?”
"Have you seen the eyes?”
“The smile!"
Of course I had noticed all that! And now I realized that I wasn't the only one on whom the new guy had made such a huge impression. 10 out of 12 girls in the class were rolling their eyes in delight. What did that tell me? That the other two were probably lesbians. And I had some hell of a competition! But what was I talking about? I didn't stand a chance with Philipp anyway. Not me. Never. That would completely contradict my previous life experience. No, no, that was even more unlikely than being overrun by Ms. Möller a third time that day. On the other hand, when I thought about the current state of our vice-principals, anything was possible...
Well, at least I gradually learned all about him that I had missed when I had been busy with transportation work in another part of the building during his presentation in class. His name was Philipp Stein, he had a younger sister who also went to our high school, and he had moved here from Munich with his family during the holidays. Well, well, I had fallen for a “Wessi” after all! And at first glance, he didn't at all make the arrogant impression that had been determined by prejudice. Well then, so that what belongs together grows together.
The next few hours were more or less repetitions of the chemical experiences. I stared at the back of Philipp's head (and found myself in good company with the staring), Philipp didn't say a word and just stared at the respective mediator of knowledge as soon as the bell rang for a break, he rushed out of the room and didn't reappear until shortly before the next lesson began. Had he already found a secret girlfriend? Of course, the idea that he might be on his way to see his little sister didn't occur to me.
During the lunch break, Philipp disappeared from the room like greased lightning, leaving all his admirers shaking their heads. Well, the usual groups formed, and five minutes later I was sitting at our regulars' table with my closest friends, puzzling over what the dish on my plate might be, as I did every day. I had barely decided on “meatball” – the “cook” had gone to great lengths to ensure that this could never be proven to him – when I saw a blonde head of hair pass our table out of the corner of my eye. Well, actually two blonde heads of hair. One belonged to Philipp, the other to a slightly younger girl. The family resemblance was undeniable. So it wasn't a friend after all, but just the little sister. My day was saved, wasn't it? Both of them joined the long line of those still waiting for their “food”, constantly followed by me with greedy eyes. The next moment I felt an elbow in my ribs.
“Ow! What are you doing, Thomas?”
"Don't stare like that, you'll start drooling!”
“I'm not!“
”You are. I can't blame you. But you're a bit too obvious.”
He was probably right. But he was also too gorgeous to look at. I was a little ashamed because I had almost forgotten about Tim, but... well, what can I say. Tim was cute, sweet, to fall in love with – but if I wanted to wait for him, I would probably have to wait forever. I was pretty convinced by now that my little brother was straight. I mean, otherwise he would have tried to get me long ago, right? As irresistible as I am... So I had to look elsewhere, and Philipp... well, Philipp was definitely worth a second and even a third look.
To take my mind off things, I started to shovel the food into myself. This worked quite well until... yes, until someone suddenly came up to the table and asked if there were two more seats available.
My head shot up, and indeed, it was Philipp and his female companion, who, in view of the rather crowded dining room, gave up their previous self-imposed exclusion.
Fortunately, I was spared an answer, as a few of the girls present immediately invited the two newcomers to sit down. It was also the girls who now kept asking Philipp questions, more or less keeping him from eating. Considering the “quality” of the food, they did him a huge favor – and it suited me just fine: without having to reveal my own curiosity, I learned a few things about him. He was seventeen like most of us, his sister Veronika was a year younger than him, he had a little brother of kindergarten age, who he was obviously really fond of. How I envied the little rascal. The table was filled with happy chatter, which was rudely interrupted after a short time by an interjection from the table after the next.
“Hey, Vroni, you'd better come over here with your brother. As long as that gay Thom is sitting there, every man's ass is in danger. If I were in the same class as him, I would always find a seat at the back against the wall. You never know.”
Dead silence. Not only at our table, but in the whole dining room. I was stunned. Okay, I was pretty out, but not that out. Judging by the total number of students, there were definitely more who didn't know than vice versa, especially in the lower grades. I thought at least. And except for a few small taunts in passing, there hadn't been any major problems so far. That was now over, and the whole school knew, including Philipp. The bearer of the good news was Matthias, who got additional training for his rugby career by regularly bullying younger students. I would have to keep a sharp eye on my little brother's well-being. But back to the current situation.
Everyone was staring at me. At least that's how I felt, as if everyone was staring at me and waiting for me to react. Nonsense, of course everyone was staring at me. Matthias had been loud enough to drown out the usual noise level in the dining room. So, how would the always so calm, relaxed, friendly Danny react to something like this? At that moment, some bets were guaranteed to have been placed on the outcome of the event. Probably no one knew exactly what that outcome would be. With a single exception. Thomas tugged at my sleeve and whispered something in my ear.
“Danny, hold back, the idiot isn't worth it."
My best friend knew very well that I had another side to me, one that only came out very, very rarely – which was probably better that way. And despite our friendship, I couldn't do without it this time. Or rather: I was simply unable to resist the emergence of this other side. Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, the dark side of the force gained the upper hand. I stood up and turned to my opponent. I don't know how I managed it, but my voice remained calm and steady.
“Don't worry, Matthias, I'm not going to harm you. First of all, you're anything but a man, so you don't have a man's ass that I could possibly endanger. You don't even have what it takes to pass as a decent pimple on a real man's ass. And secondly, your face is so ugly that I don't even want to see your ass. After all, I have a certain self-esteem too.“
Could ‘deathly silence’ actually be improved upon? If so, then now was the right time to try it. However, this silence did not last long.
”I'll finish you off, you fag!”
In true rugby style, Matthias came running towards me, intending to pounce on me. The emphasis is on “intended”, because I dodged him skillfully. Or into the not-so-empty. There was a wall three meters behind me, and Matthias crashed into it more or less unchecked. And as much as he was used to collisions in his favorite sport, such a stone wall was considerably less forgiving than his usual opponents. With an ugly crack, followed by his loud howl, he slid down the wall and remained there, curled up and whining. That was the end of the show for me, and as the adrenaline kick began to wear off, I slowly realized the full impact of what had just happened. I realized that I was on the verge of losing my composure and becoming hysterical, and to avoid this (or at least to make it happen in front of fewer spectators), I fled the dining room. I had no idea where I was going, but a little while later I found myself on the stairs in front of the school entrance. The cold air, which I usually hate, helped me to clear my head a bit. This and a little solitude were exactly what I needed right now.
The latter, however, was not granted to me; I suddenly felt a hand on my right shoulder and was just able to stop myself before I seriously hurt Thomas. He also immediately realized that it was not such a good idea to touch me from behind in such a surprising way in this situation.
"Whoa, Danny, take it easy, it's only me, no danger.”
“Sorry.“
”No need to apologize. That was pretty intense, wasn't it?“
”Indeed.“
We stood next to each other in silence for a while, and I used the quiet to consider how to proceed.
”Danny, we should go back inside, otherwise you'll catch your death in the cold. Not to mention me.”
But I wasn't ready for that yet.
“What happened after I took off?”
“Not much, I followed you right away. Matthias kept whining that you had broken his shoulder, but everyone who was there knows that's not true.”
Everyone who was there. So practically the whole school.
“When I came out, Tröger was just marching up and sent someone to get Möllerin.“
Great. I'd already run into him twice too often that day. I let out a deep sigh.
”Hey, don't worry. Everyone saw how the idiot provoked you. I don't think you're in any danger.”
“I don't really care about the idiot's injury, I can live with that without losing any sleep. It just bothers me that now everyone here really knows who I am.”
“Oh yeah? Let me think. With one of the most well-balanced, friendly, helpful guys from the whole high school? With the best friend I could imagine?“
”Come on, you know exactly what I mean!“
”You didn't used to have such a jitter about what we think of you?”
“First of all, it's hard for you to judge. How scared do you think I was before I told you guys bit by bit? And secondly, that's the big difference: I told you! Those people I was more or less sure would continue to accept me. And even there I was found out by a few people from whom I hadn't expected it. And now I have to live with the fact that hundreds of people know about me at once. Hundreds of whom I haven't the faintest idea how they'll react!«
“Sorry, Danny. Right, I can't really judge that. But I still think you're worrying too much. Sure, there will still be a few idiots like Matthias, but they're definitely in the minority. Way, way in the minority.“
”Your word in God's ear!”
“Just trust me for once. By the way, in case you're interested: Philipp didn't seem particularly shocked or even disgusted. At most by Matthias' idea.“
I looked into the grinning face of my best friend.
”Dork.“
”Pleased to meet you, Copper.”
Okay, Thomas had once again managed to make me laugh. Well, not a real, full-fledged laugh, but at least a smile. That seemed to be enough for him for the moment.
"Come on, let's go back inside before we really freeze to death here.”
This time I let him lead me back to school without objecting. We refrained from visiting the dining hall again and went straight to the classroom. On the way, we met some students from different grades, and practically everyone stared at me. I felt it more than saw it, because most of the time I kept my head down and my eyes on the floor. When I did look up, however, I could see that most of them looked rather appreciative and interested. Not a single one of them seemed disgusted by the sight of me. Well, but that was no reason to rejoice too soon. I probably had some very exciting days and weeks ahead of me.
When I arrived in the classroom, the mood was... well, mixed. It was a mixture of “depressed” and “encouraging”. My outing couldn't have been a big surprise here; with two or three exceptions, everyone already knew anyway. And even with the exceptions, when I thought about it, I wasn't so sure whether they hadn't found out over time. I hadn't said it to their faces, but when I had talked to those who knew and the subject came up, we hadn't automatically fallen into whisper mode. So the only one I could be absolutely sure about his ignorance was Philipp. And fortunately he was one of those who smiled encouragingly at me when I entered the room. The same was true for the “inner circle” of my friends, of course.
“Great, Danny, what a performance! I didn't think you had it in you. Congratulations, you really put the idiot in his place.”
Jürgen was apparently genuinely impressed, which I couldn't say for myself. I had lost my temper. The self-control I had worked so hard to maintain. Thomas was one of the few (and in this circle the only one) who knew that there was a completely different Danny than the one who greeted them with a friendly smile every day. One who didn't just leave his opponents standing when attacked or confronted with hostility, the cool “kiss-my-ass” method.
There had been a phase in my life when I must have been the most unruly and unjust guy you could imagine. Unimaginable after everything the well-disposed reader knows about me so far? Thanks, I take that as a compliment for the good work I've done on myself. Nevertheless, unfortunately it was completely true. Probably one reason for this was my experience with illness and death in my tender childhood. I was convinced that the whole world had conspired against me, and I treated the whole world accordingly. Add to that the fact that I had always been considered slightly hyperactive, and you have a few characteristics that, when thrown together, don't necessarily stand for good results. I felt even sorrier for my poor parents and friends. Once I had even managed to almost completely destroy my room in a fit of rage. Well, and then one of the doctors who looked after me during a chemotherapy session came up with the idea of dragging me to his karate class. When I was physically somewhat restored, he had also convinced my parents that this would be a good way to release my excess energy – and at the same time give me a target for my angry outbursts. And what can I say: it worked. I became calmer, more balanced, and the times when I “freaked out” became increasingly rare until after two or three years they were completely a thing of the past. After my father's death, I had another difficult phase, and I guess if I hadn't already had the art of self-control down quite well by that point, I probably would have gone down the drain back then. So it was all the more surprising and frightening to me now that such a trivial event (compared to what I had been through in my life so far) had brought me to the brink of losing control. Thomas seemed to understand that, and slowly grasp the full implications of it, and he led me to a corner of the room where he addressed me in a low tone of voice on the subject.
“Danny, are you afraid it's going to start again?“
”I don't know. Yes. I think so. Shit.“
”Don't worry too much. You didn't overreact. After all, you didn't harm him, even though you could have easily done so.“
”Still. I shouldn't have reacted at all.”
“Wrong. That was the most normal reaction you could imagine. I know, I know, you don't want to go back to the way you were then, but you can't overdo it in your efforts. Losing your temper on a given occasion has never hurt anyone. Quite the opposite. Holding everything inside doesn't help either. Come on, Danny, you're not a superman! And in a way, it was good for all of us to see you like that. It showed that you're actually a normal teenager. This little episode certainly won't tarnish your halo at all.«
»Well, thanks a lot. So you think I should just forget about it.«
“No. But you shouldn't overestimate it or see only the negative side. And I promise you one thing: if I see any signs of you actually reliving the past, I'll nip that in the bud in time, okay?“
”We'll see. I need to think about it in more detail. Thanks anyway.”
“No problem. You've helped me out of trouble so often that I'm almost happy to be able to return the favor. Not that I'm happy about what happened earlier! Oh, nonsense, you know what I mean.“
”It's okay.”
During this little conversation, the hands of the clock had mercilessly advanced, and the beginning of the next hour was imminent. Just as I was about to go to my seat, what I had already feared happened: Ms. Möller marched into the room at a brisk pace.
"Everyone out except Daniel!”
She had probably been a sergeant major in a previous life and had been able to salvage the barrack yard tone into her next incarnation. Within a very short time, I was alone in the room with her, and we looked at each other appraisingly. After about a minute, she got to the point.
"Danny, what am I going to do with you!”
“You could give me my diploma, and we'd have some peace and quiet.“
”It was a comment like that that led to the disaster earlier! My God, Daniel, can't you think about what you say?“
”Sorry. But earlier it was pure self-defense. And anyway, the whole thing was caused by something completely different!”
“Yes, yes. I know. Matthias provoked you first.“
”Not just provoked! He embarrassed me in front of everyone.“
”Fair enough, but why did you react at all? A few people have already tried to draw you out, and so far you've always let it slide.”
“No idea. Maybe it's a case of 'constant dripping wears away the stone'. In any case, Thomas thinks it was due. Not that I'm proud of it, but I just couldn't keep quiet any longer.“
”Matthias claims you threw him against the wall.”
“Matthias claims a lot, when the day is long. Soon he will claim that the wall jumped at him with the intention of killing him. Anyone who really looked can confirm that I just took a step to the side. If anything at all threw him against the wall, it was his own momentum.”
“Okay, a few people have already confirmed that, I just wanted to hear your own version. By the way, there's a doctor with Matthias right now. Apparently he really did break something.“
”Sorry, but he can't expect sympathy from me.”
“I understand that. Still, I would prefer it if something like that didn't happen again. I already know that in an hour or two at the latest, his parents will be on my doorstep complaining about the intolerable, violent conditions at our school.”
“They're the right people to complain to. If you were to do a survey asking how many people have suffered at the hands of their son in one way or another, there wouldn't be enough rooms in this school to hold them all.”
“You're really not making it easy for me, Danny. Please just promise me that you'll try to hold back in situations like this in the future. Especially with your mouth, for which I sometimes think a gun license would be appropriate.“
”Okay, I promise to try. But that's all I can do.”
“I'll have to make do with that, then. So, now tell me why you never mentioned your homosexuality to me.“
Huh, did I just hear that right?
”Uh, Ms. Möller, but what do you expect from me? That out of sheer lust and joie de vivre I come to you and say, 'Ms. Möller, I'm gay. Do you perhaps have a suitable boyfriend for me? Or can I at least post it on the bulletin board? I'm sorry, but I don't see what business it is of yours or anyone else's. The people I wanted to know already knew before today's incident.“
”You really have no idea, Danny. Right?“
”Idea of what?”
“Are there really no rumors at this school?“
Okay, she had done it. I was now completely confused and had no idea what she was talking about. Fortunately, the girl from Mölle could see that.
”All right. I didn't think that was still a secret. Danny, I live with a woman.”
So, that's it. Matthias hadn't managed to knock me down with all his physical strength – our deputy director managed that with a single leap. Completely without the help of any doors.
“You... what... are you saying... so... you are...”
"Lesbian. If that's the word you're desperately looking for.”
I had to let that sink in for a moment. I really had no idea, I hadn't even suspected anything. I couldn't remember any rumors about it either. I'm sure I would have remembered that!
“Well, Danny, that makes my earlier question about why you never told me redundant, of course. If you didn't even know that we were practically in the same boat... Well. By the way, I would be grateful if you didn't necessarily tell anyone.”
I could easily understand this wish. Even as a homosexual (sounds a bit high-flown, doesn't it?) student, life wasn't necessarily easy, but for a teacher it would probably be a lot worse.
“Okay, you can count on it.”
"Thanks. But if you have any problems, don't hesitate to come to me, okay?”
“Okay.“
”So, on to another topic. I spoke to your mother on the phone earlier."
What, had she called Mutsch and told her all about the dining room incident? I could hardly believe it. Not anymore. Mrs. Möller had apparently interpreted my questioning expression correctly.
“No, no, not because of Matthias! She made an appointment for tomorrow to register your stepbrother.“
”Oh, yes. Well, he also has to change faster than planned. Did my mother tell you what happened?”
“Indeed. Must have been pretty hard. Coming back from vacation and finding the place burnt down. But, tell me, do your folks actually know that you're gay? If not, you'd better tell them quickly, before they find out through our newly enlightened school.”
“My mother has known for a long time, Tim since the day we met. It was a completely unplanned coming out, but I've never regretted it. Reinhardt, his father, has known since I was sick last December and spent a few days in the now destroyed apartment. By the way, we prefer the term 'brother', not 'stepbrother'.”
“Good, I'll keep that in mind. Well, I think I'd better say goodbye now, we've held things up long enough. Hang in there, and if anything comes up, you know where to find me.“
”All right. Thanks, Mrs. Möller.“
”No problem. Oh, and one more thing. I'm really not curious, but...“
”But what?”
“Already got a boyfriend in sight?“
I had to grin.
”I have a few in sight, but I wonder if they see it the same way?“
”Be careful not to fall for the wrong one with your love revelation.”
Ms. Möller raised her index finger again briefly in a threatening manner, then she swept out the door and shooed the students waiting outside, plus the math teacher, back into the room with the remark that they should finally start the lesson. The apparently slightly intimidated number tamer hastened to comply with this request, so there was no time for further discussion of the dining room scrum. Which was all too right for me.
The hour passed, the next break followed, and during this break we rushed to the gym and then to the locker rooms. The Tuesday double period of sports was on – and with it the interesting question of how my dear classmates would now behave towards me. So regarding undressing in front of the greedy eyes of the now official school fag. As I said, it was no big surprise for most of them, but of course I was particularly interested in how Philipp would react.
We had barely taken off our clothes when our sports teacher, a former “GDR professional amateur footballer”, cheerfully walked in and dropped the bombshell.
“Boys, tracksuits, street shoes, caps and gloves. There are still a few paths to be cleared of snow, and each class has to sacrifice one of their sports lessons for it. In the second hour, only handball will be played."
Of course. Why should a so far more or less lousy school day have a happy ending? I was relieved to see that I was not the only one who groaned in annoyance. Okay, shoveling snow wasn't that bad, but we would have rather sacrificed a chemistry or math lesson for that! Hannes, with his 1.97 the dream of all basketball coaches (one had already snatched him years ago for his team), loudly expressed his displeasure.
“Mr. Breitkopf, do you even know how cold it is! Besides, it keeps snowing anyway, so there's no point in shoveling it away.”
“Hannes, it's minus nine degrees, that's not cold! You're welcome to keep your long johns on. And the snow has to go, whether or not more is on its way. That's what the fire department demanded from Ms. Möller today. So let's go, quickly, quickly! Tools will be handed out in five minutes!”
More or less grumbling, the changing began – and fortunately there were neither stupid remarks nor any stupid actions. Which of course could not remain so. With so much normality, Thomas simply could not resist. In the middle of changing his clothes, he suddenly danced provocatively – or as he imagined “provocative” – in front of me.
“Hey, Danny, you didn't want to see Matthias' ass. How about mine?“
”I've seen that flat thing a thousand times. And without those saggy long companions over it. Besides, I'm looking for a friend, but I'm not that desperate.”
Actually, I had expected him to tear my head off for the last part of my speech, but no. Thomas twisted his head so that he could look over his shoulder and looked closely at his backside.
“Flat? I don't know about that. Christine seems to like it.”
Okay, so a little more salt in his wounds.
“Speaking of Christine. Tell me, what are you blackmailing her with? She would never have got involved with you of her own free will.“
That got through to him.
”Danny! I'll pour a shovel of snow down your collar for that later, you can count on it!“
”Boo, now I'm scared!”
The others had, of course, noticed this scene and followed it attentively. The reaction was general laughter. Although – not quite general. Philipp stood a little shocked on the sidelines and probably didn't quite know what to make of our little tiff. Quite understandable. Anyone who didn't know that Thomas and I were best friends, and that such skirmishes were common between us, could certainly get the wrong impression of this scene. And I wasn't the only one who had noticed.
“Philipp, you can laugh. The two of them do it all the time. If you don't know them, you might think they're bitter enemies. But in truth, they love each other. It's a wonder they haven't been caught snogging in the school bathroom yet.”
My dear Jürgen, that was a very, very big mistake. Nothing was better suited to weld Thomas and me together than a common opponent. And with his saying, Jürgen had made himself that opponent. Thomas and I looked at each other, nodded, and in the next moment we grabbed a reluctant Jürgen from both sides and carried him out of the locker room. We put him outside the door and then slammed it in his face. Now he was standing outside the door in his long, white fine-ribbed underwear and plaid knee socks, banging on the door with both fists, desperately pleading for admission. He was desperate because at that moment the girls in our class left their changing room and marched past Jürgen towards the sports hall. Thomas, I and the rest of the troop had a royal time, especially when the giggling of the fair sex penetrated through the door. When this died down, we let Jürgen back in – his bright red head formed an interesting contrast to his white underwear...
"I'll get you back for this! Sometime when you least expect it...”
Thomas and I grinned at each other. We couldn't take this threat very seriously, because although Jürgen had easy access to slaughtering axes and butcher's knives through the family business, he was an extremely peace-loving contemporary. He couldn't hurt a fly, let alone us, his “best friends” null
“Yes, damn it, what's the matter with you guys! The girls are already completely finished, and you're still jumping around in your underwear!”
Could it be that the girls were not assigned to shovel snow because they were not supposed to do physical education as normal students, but instead? Where was the much-vaunted emancipation? They wanted the same rights as the boys, but they could easily do without the same duties, right? Nevertheless, none of us laborers had the nerve to tell Mr. Breitkopf this.
“Now hurry up, or you can both spend the hour outside!"
That's what I call an incentive! Within two minutes we were completely ready for action and took our tools. Shortly afterwards, we were fighting against the white splendor – and just as Hannes had feared, the constant snowfall would very soon undo all our work. But since there was no alternative to the teachers' instructions, we dutifully did our duty. Of course, this did not go without snowball fights and scuffles, and soon some of us looked like living snowmen. I myself stayed out of it as much as possible and used the physical activity to come to terms with myself a little. By the way, if my mom had seen me, she probably would have had a laughing fit. At home, she always had to “persuade” me to shovel snow with the threat of the most draconian punishments. Right in the middle of my best ruminations, someone shouted.
"Look out, Danny!”
I saw a shadow flying towards me and quickly stepped aside. This time not planned, as in the Matthias incident, but purely reflexive. Only to immediately afterwards call myself an idiot for stepping aside. What came flying towards us was none other than Philipp on his way into the nearest snowdrift, into which he plunged unchecked – luckily the snow was soft and our newcomer didn't hurt himself. As for me, though – well, let's just say that I would have been only too happy to play buffer for Philipp
would have liked to play the buffer for Philipp. Whether such a chance would arise again... I had my doubts. But I couldn't complain, and I couldn't let my thoughts show. So I resorted to a tried and tested home remedy: I played Mr. Cool.
“Hey, you couldn't come up with a bigger projectile on the fly! Does everyone want to run or knock me over today?“
Heino and Lars grinned at me and the recovering Philipp, with little sense of guilt.
”You could have caught him. That would have suited you, wouldn't it?”
Help, I was found out! Or was that just a shot in the dark? Better not to think about it at all. I turned to the two-legged projectile, who was knocking the snow off his clothes.
“You okay, Philipp?”
"Yes, no problem, it was a soft landing.”
He smiled at me! Philipp smiled at me! Me! Even though he knew about me! If I died right now, it would be a peaceful death after a full life. But of course I didn't die, no, I just felt a strong push in my back and landed in the snow as well. Who had done this to me again? This couldn't be true! Thomas was the culprit, who now bent down to me to help me up. Just you wait! Just as I was about to tell him what I thought, he put his left index finger to his lips and whispered something to me.
“Shh. Sorry, but I had to do that. You were just about to undress Philipp with your eyes. If not to pounce on him and actually do it.”
Hm, was I really that out of it? Okay, okay, if I was accused of looking at pretty boys, I would have to plead guilty a thousand times over, but I couldn't remember a blackout like the one I'd just experienced for the second time with regard to Philipp. I stole a glance around to see if anyone else had noticed except for Thomas – but the others were already busy moving large amounts of snow again and showed no reaction. Philipp had also reached for the shovel again and pushed it into the snow, but he did glance in my direction again. Still smiling. Phew. I guess relief was in order now. And a little gratitude.
“Thank you, Thomas. Do me a favor and keep an eye on me. I'm obviously not quite of sound mind at the moment.”
"No problem. It's nice to be the one who can help you for a change. If I keep this up for another ten to twenty years, we'll be even.”
“Hm, that seems to me, considering your own tendency towards trouble, but very optimistic. But good, that wasn't bad for a start.“
”I'm glad you appreciate my achievement so generously.“
”It's a pleasure and an inner need.”
Now we also set about tackling the white masses with shovels, and a little while later at least a narrow passage between the sports hall and the boiler house had been cleared. However, during all the shoveling, no one had looked at the clock, and the same probably applied to our sports teacher, who had disappeared into warmer climes right at the beginning and now reappeared rather hustled and bustling.
“Guys... panting... I completely lost track of time! I'm really sorry."
I looked at my watch and saw that not only had the entire first hour passed, but we had also spent a good quarter of an hour of the second hour in the snow unplanned. Wonderful. Was that really not part of his plan?
“Handball is no longer worthwhile. A proposal: you continue for another ten minutes, then you can stop, change and go home.”
Well, that was at least something! This way, we would be able to leave the school grounds a good twenty minutes earlier. So we plunged back into our work, and this time Mr. Breitkopf was back on time after ten minutes, collecting the equipment and sending us to the changing room. There, logically, everyone was in a hurry to get back into their normal clothes, and just a few minutes later we were breathing cold but free air. That's how a long-time prisoner on release day must feel.
Slowly the pack dispersed until in the end only Thomas and I were left and we wanted to make our way home together. But wait, where was Philipp anyway? I looked after the various groups, but couldn't see him anywhere. Although, with the sea of caps, scarves and thick jackets, it wouldn't have been that easy anyway. Of course, as usual, my best friend always noticed what he shouldn't necessarily have noticed.
"Are you looking for someone in particular?”
Slowly but surely, I would probably learn to hate his smug grin. If I were able to hate anything about Thomas.
“Don't be stupid. Have you seen him anywhere?”
“No. Yes!”
“Well, which is it?”
"Turn around very inconspicuously, he's just coming out of the school gate.”
Okay, turning around to look for Philipp without attracting attention was probably a bit too much to ask – something Thomas was sure to know. I turned around, and sure enough: there came my new dream boy, strolling very slowly from the prison... uh, pardon: schoolyard. All in dark blue: cap, scarf, jacket, jeans, shoes. I didn't know how I would survive seeing him every day in front of me in the future. Unlike me, the sight of Thomas hadn't left Thomas speechless. Whatever I wanted to ask him.
“What took you so long? Did you like it so much on the first day that you don't want to leave?”
The smile was back on Philipp's face, this time directed at both of us.
“Don't worry, I'd rather be gone by now. But I have to wait for my sister.“
”Well, thank God, I thought we had caught a nerd.“
”Well, not really. You're Thomas, right?“
”Exactly. I suppose you'll have a little trouble with all the names for a while, won't you?”
“Well, I'll try to remember them all.“
He turned to me.
”Danny, if I remember correctly.”
Oh my God, he addressed me! He remembered my name! And I couldn't even manage to say a single word in reply! Fortunately, the Good Samaritan Thomas jumped in for me again. He was apparently working to pay off some of his debt to me for rescuing him from hopeless situations.
“That's right. But don't expect an answer from him now, he's been out in the cold for more than 90 seconds, so he's starting to freeze.“
Philip laughed. Okay, I would forgive him for laughing at me, unlike Thomas.
”Is he really that sensitive?"
To my complete surprise, I managed to answer him personally this time.
“Yep. Take a dictionary, look up the term 'frostbite', and lo and behold, you'll find a picture of me.”
This earned me a quiet laugh from Philipp and a surprised, almost horrified look from Thomas. The latter had probably not reckoned on me regaining control of my speech center so quickly. Especially since he knew full well that the brief disruption was due less to the low temperatures than to the presence of our new classmate.
“Then you would be the ideal victim for my mother. She's always nagging us to dress warmly.“
”Thanks, not necessary, I already have one of those specimens at home. Although I follow this kind of instruction voluntarily out of pure self-preservation. So, now tell me, what do you think of our own little limbo?”
Philipp thought about it for a moment.
“Well, actually quite good. The teachers are all a bit old, aren't they?”
Ha! So I wasn't the only one who had noticed that. Although, strictly speaking, everyone here had probably already complained about it at least once.
"The students seem to be all right. With a few exceptions, of course.”
Oh oh, I could only hope that he didn't count me among those exceptions. But luckily my fears in this regard were quickly allayed.
"That Matthias seems to be a real idiot.”
“Indeed! But I hope that Danny's elegant evasive maneuver will put him out of action for a while. The guy has already tried to start trouble with everyone here. At least with everyone he thinks he is physically superior to. Unfortunately, that's most people around here. In contrast to mental superiority. He might have problems keeping up with the janitor's poodle.”
“Thomas! That comparison is an outrageous insult! To the poodle, I mean.”
Now all three of us laughed out loud, and just as I was wondering what topic I could use to keep the conversation going, suddenly a thickly wrapped, almost comparable, but much smaller two-legged something came rushing towards us and jumped with a scream into the arms of our newcomer, which were quickly spread.
"Flip!”
Thomas and I looked at each other questioningly. Flip? The person addressed turned rapidly in circles, whirling the something – which had meanwhile turned out to be a little boy – through the air. The something seemed to be thrilled by this, because it shrieked happily at the top of its lungs. Meanwhile, someone had joined us without us noticing.
"Hello Philipp.”
We turned around to the voice and in front of us stood a tall woman, at the sight of whom I immediately realized where Philipp got his blond hair and blue eyes from. This had to be his mother, and thus the well-shaken something must be his little brother. With a warm smile she looked at her sons, who now also took notice of her presence.
"Hello, Mom.”
This confirmed my suspicion.
“I see you've already found two new friends?”
Philipp looked questioningly at Thomas and me, carrying his brother piggyback, his head cocked slightly.
"I hope so. I'd be glad.”
What a question! I certainly didn't need to be asked that. Thomas again relieved me of the necessity to answer.
“Sure.”
A relieved smile appeared on Philip's face.
"Mommy, this is Thomas and Danny. Thomas, Danny – my mother.”
Hands were shaken, and Mrs. Stein seemed pleased that her oldest son had already found a friend. If only she knew what was going through my mind regarding her son...
In the middle of these thoughts, a whining sound rang out, and Philipp reacted immediately.
"Of course, how could I forget that! Guys, this is my brother, Kevy.”
“Kevin! My name is Kevin, not Kevy!“
”Okay, Kevy.“
The little man drummed indignantly on his big brother's shoulders. He didn't seem to mind at all, though, just grinned to himself. The name thing reminded me of something, though.
”Say, did I hear right earlier? Flip?”
This time it was Mrs. Stein who intervened in the conversation to explain.
"When Kevy was little, even smaller than he is now, he had trouble pronouncing the name Philipp, so ‘Flip’ just came out of it. Now he could say Philipp, but he doesn't, and ‘Flip’ just stuck. Even we usually call him that now.”
“Thanks, Mom. From tomorrow on, I guess everyone here will just call me Flip.“
Why not, it wasn't that bad.
”Hey, it's still better than Philly, isn't it?“
Thomas had read my mind. Since when could he do that? That was actually more my strength.
”How about Phil?"
Nah, I liked Flip much better.
“Out of the question, it sounds so old. Besides, 'Phil' always makes me think of Phil Collins – and you really don't look like him at all. Lucky for you.”
And to my own, of course. Well, the aforementioned musician was definitely one of my favorite sound generators, but I couldn't find the slightest thing wrong with his looks. Quite the opposite to 'Flip'. The latter resigned himself to his fate.
"Okay, okay. Kevy, I'll never forgive you for this!”
Meanwhile, the little brother was standing on his own two feet again and seemed thrilled that he had embarrassed his big brother. He bravely stuck his tongue out into the cold.
"Yuck!”
Before Philipp could pounce on him and do who knows what to him, he quickly ran behind his mother and hid there. The aforementioned woman, on the other hand, looked around somewhat irritated.
"Say, where is Veronica anyway? Why is she dawdling around after school?”
“Mom, she's not dawdling, her class just ended. We were allowed to get out a few minutes early. She'll be here in a minute.“
”Well, that's good. Right, I was wondering why you were out already. I thought I had the time wrong.”
At that moment, the big school door opened and a mass exodus began. Shortly afterwards, we saw Philipp's sister in a group of her classmates. When she saw us, she waved briefly, then said goodbye to her group and wandered over to us. Followed by the glances of the others, who were certainly a little surprised to see Thomas and especially me in the company of her brother. The looks were partly curious, partly arrogant, amused, but also shocked. Interesting mix. In the meantime, Veronika had joined us.
"Hello, Mom. Kevy.”
The latter started howling indignantly again and complained loudly about the “defacement” of his name, but without anyone paying any attention to him. However, I noticed that he didn't greet his sister as enthusiastically as he greeted his brother (which I could easily understand ;-). And the next thing I noticed was that Veronika scrutinized me from top to bottom with a real X-ray eye and then looked me firmly in the eye. I had never experienced such a thorough inspection before; I almost had the impression that she wanted to look into the furthest corners of my soul. It was extremely unpleasant, especially if you didn't know the reason for this approach. Was this pure interest in the “black sheep”, in something new? Or what was going on in her - admittedly pretty - head? However, she did not give an explanation.
“Can we go? I'm getting cold.”
With these words, she turned away and marched towards the parking lot.
“Huh, my daughter is in a hurry to get away from here. Well, okay then. Well, guys, nice to meet you. Bye."
And Mrs. Stein followed her daughter, taking little Kevy by the hand and dragging her along. Only Philipp remained with Thomas and me. And he too said goodbye.
“I have to go. I'm afraid we'll see each other here tomorrow. I mean, I'm afraid we'll see each other here again. Not that we'll see each other again.“
Thomas and I were thinking in sync again, because our answer was in stereo.
”See you tomorrow, Flip.”
Our friend looked up at the sky with resignation, then smiled at us again briefly and hurried after his family. That was the signal for Thomas and me to finally make our way home. We walked in silence for two or three minutes, then Thomas once again jabbed me in the fortunately well-padded ribs.
“Congratulations, Danny.“
”Ow! What do you mean?“
”You did well in front of Philip. You didn't rush at him, you didn't throw yourself at him, you didn't get a red face and you even managed to form complete sentences. I'm proud of you.“
”You have no idea how hard that was for me.”
“Oh, don't say that. I still have a very faint memory of what it was like when I first fell for a girl. I felt hot and cold by turns, I trembled and couldn't utter a single word in her presence.“
”And what did your kindergarten teacher say?”
“Idiot! Kindergarten, what do you think of me?“
Thomas stopped and looked at me indignantly.
”Kindergarten, really! It was in the crèche! I'm not a late bloomer like you. But well, better late than never, right?“
”The main thing is not to be too late.“
”Hey, Philipp seems like a really good guy.”
“Too good to be true. But I'm glad that he obviously has no problem with me being gay.“
”Problem? Man, Danny, the guy has a crush on you! Maybe not as intense as you have for him, but still.”
“Come on, Thomas, stop it! If I don't have a 'gaydar', then how do you know? I paid close attention, he didn't give any signals. Philipp is just looking for friends at the new school.”
“Believe what you want. I paid close attention, too, and the way Flip looked at you, it was very clear to me. I can already see you two as a couple at the graduation ceremony.”
Hm. An extremely pleasant thought. Nevertheless. I still thought that there was nothing there that could give this hope any nourishment. We marched on, then we came to the point where our paths parted.
"Danny, can I come over to your place later? I need peace and quiet for this stupid math homework, and I'm guaranteed not to find it at home.”
“Okay, no problem. Do you want to come over right away?“
”Nah, I want to get rid of a few things first, eat something and jump in the shower. I'll come around four, if that's okay with you.“
”Sure. See you then.“
”Bye.”
I walked the rest of the way at a brisk pace and realized that I had voluntarily spent quite a long time in the cold. And while we were with Philipp, I hadn't even felt that cold! Oh man, what this boy did to me!
When I arrived home, I realized that I was all alone. No Tim, no Reinhardt, no Mutsch – no one was there. Only a note on the table saying that they were shopping. Again? Well, Tim's closet was actually well stocked. Well, whatever, I used the time to get out of my school clothes and do what Thomas had announced: I marched into the shower and rinsed the sweat of the day off my body. And there, too, images of our new Saxony haunted me – I will refrain from describing the following activities in detail for reasons of child protection...
As usual, I completely lost track of time under the warm water and was punished for it (also as usual). Clean as a licked kitten and dried, I left the bathroom in my birthday suit and entered the supposedly empty room – a big mistake, as I immediately realized when I saw Tim bursting out into laughter.
“Haha, tell me, Danny, you apparently have an exhibitionist streak after all! Or why do you constantly show yourself naked?"
I put the car in reverse at top speed and grabbed a bath towel, which I (unfortunately much too late) wrapped around my hips. And I realized that I now had to go on the offensive, at least morally.
“You're just jealous that you don't have a model body like mine, Tim!“
”Oh yes, that's what it is!"
I decided to change the subject before it got too embarrassing.
“Tell me, where have you been hanging around today? Shopping? I thought you did everything yesterday.“
”Clothes-wise, yes, but Maria said today that since she now had three hungry, insatiable mouths to feed, the food supplies would have to be increased. So we all went to the supermarket together. And you must have been in the shower for quite a while again if you didn't notice when we came back. It took us quite a while to drag all the food into the house and stow it away.“
”Okay, okay, guilty as charged.”
I decided that it was time to replace the bath towel with something more appropriate, and since I had of course forgotten to pick out fresh laundry before my trip under water, I just went to the closet now. The search there took a bit longer than usual, because the new order in the closet meant that nothing was where it had been for many years and thus imprinted in my memory. In the end, I was successful, wandered over to my bed and began to dress myself. As I slipped into my boxer shorts, I suddenly noticed that my little brother had become quite still. Not like him at all, at least not since he had gotten rid of some of his shyness. In any case, it was disconcerting, and I took a searching look in his direction. Tim sat on his bed and stared into the air with a serious face. Highly suspicious.
"Hey, Tim, what's suddenly wrong with you?”
The answer was just a deep sigh, and now I really started to worry about him. So I got up and covered the distance from my bed to his in a few steps, and sat down next to him.
“Tim, what is it? Is there anything I can do to help?”
"No.”
I racked my brains, trying to figure out what could have suddenly gotten into him. I mean, just a moment ago he was joking around with me and laughing at me, and now, all of a sudden, he was sitting around completely depressed. Was this still a residual effect of the apartment fire? I could hardly imagine that, he seemed to be coping quite well with it in the last few days. So I had no choice but to keep probing.
“Tim, I once told you that you can talk to me about anything. So come on, no secrets, what's bothering you? You'll see, talking about it will make it a lot easier.”
“I don't think so.”
"Just try, okay?”
Tim, who had been staring out the window, turned to me and looked me in the eye. His own eyes were nowhere near as sparkling as I had come to love them in the past few weeks. Something really seemed to be going on in that cute head of his. My little brother sighed again, but seemed to have come to a decision.
"Okay, if you say so.”
“Well then. Fire away.“
”Danny, do you still remember how I found out that you're gay?“
”How could I ever forget that! The screensaver thing was one of the frequent moments of my mental derangement."
Tim's mouth twitched briefly, but he immediately regained his composure.
“Do you also remember what we talked about afterwards?“
”I think so, what exactly do you mean?“
”You asked me... you asked me if I... if I was gay too.”
Bull's eye. What was going on in Tim's head was really something fierce. And thoughts were now racing through my mind, too. What would come next? Did I actually have a chance with my baby brother?
“That's right. And you replied that you weren't sure.”
“Exactly.”
"And?”
“I think I know the answer now.“
Now I was the one who was on pins and needles. No matter what the answer was, I wanted to know at last! Why was he keeping me in suspense for so long?
”Danny, would you be very angry with me if I wasn't gay?”
Shit, wrong answer. But would Tim be angry about that? Okay, a little disappointment was spreading inside me, but angry? No, I really wasn't angry with him. Actually, it was just the final confirmation of what I had suspected more and more in the last few weeks.
“Come on, Tim, what makes you think that? Is that why you've been so down?“
”Of course! I mean, I'm sure I've confused you with my insecurity, maybe even given you false hope! I wouldn't blame you if you were angry with me right now.”
“Okay, let's take it easy and write this down. Tim, I'm not angry with you if you're not gay. Not at all. I can hardly imagine anything at all that I could be angry with you about. In case you haven't noticed, little scatterbrain, I love you. Even if it's only love for you as a brother.“
”Really?”
“Really. Tim, I'm happy for you. Not because you're not gay, but because you're obviously clear about yourself now.“
I had barely got the last word out when Tim threw himself into my arms.
”Thank you, Danny, thank you! I was so worried! I was afraid you'd give me up now.”
“So now I should actually be seriously offended. Do you really have such a low opinion of me?“
I should have kept my mouth shut, because the tears of joy I had shed so far suddenly turned into real, sad ones.
”I'm sorry, I now realize how stupid and mean it was of me to think that. But... but I was so afraid of losing you, I couldn't have handled it!”
“It's okay, little brother. I promise you'll never lose me, okay?“
”Okay.“
”Good. So, I suggest you go into the bathroom and freshen up a little. You look much prettier without a tear-stained face.”
Finally, there it was again, the shy smile that I liked so much about him. Tim gave me another quick but fierce hug, then he did what I had told him to do and disappeared into the bathroom. Which gave me time to finish getting dressed on the one hand and to reflect on what had just happened on the other. So my cute little brother wasn't into boys. Once again a setback, what a loss. For me, I mean. Certainly not for him. And Reinhardt wouldn't be annoyed either, despite his great acceptance of me. What remained to be done now? Not much, when I thought about it. I had to accept it, and I would be able to accept it. As I said, it wasn't really a surprise anymore. Okay, at least now the circumstances were clear, not bad either. Even if I would have liked them better with a different tenor. But enough with ifs and buts! Tim's return from the bathroom suitably pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Come here and let me look at you. There you go, you look even better.”
The difference was really very clear. Wait a minute, something occurred to me. Maybe I should be a little more careful with such comments in the future.
“Tell me, Tim, do you mind if I make such remarks? About your appearance, I mean.”
Now he wasn't smiling anymore, now he was laughing!
"Nah, as long as they're compliments, I'm fine with it!”
“Well then I'm reassured, you won't hear anything else from me anyway. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable in any way. Especially if such things should slip out in front of others.”
“Don't worry. Danny, I may not love you the way you would like me to, but I still love you as my big brother. And I certainly won't complain when my big brother tells me he thinks I'm handsome.“
”Not even when he thinks you're 'pretty' or 'cute'?”
“Cute? Well, I'll have to think about that. After all, I'll be seventeen soon, so a boy wouldn't necessarily look 'cute' anymore.”
“But you do, I'm sorry. At least in my eyes. And I think that from tomorrow on, quite a few people will join the ranks of your admirers. Mainly girls, of course. Which probably won't bother you too much, right?“
”Hey, I know now that I'm into girls. But that doesn't mean I'm going to throw myself at the next female creature!”
“I certainly hope so! You're my brother now, which means that everything you do reflects on me. So you have to watch out not only for your reputation, but for mine as well. By the way, how did you come to realize that you're more into girls?”
“Well, I've been thinking about it a lot in the last few weeks. I told you that I didn't really have a reason to before, but that changed when I met you. So I thought about it back and forth, tried to find out if I preferred looking at girls or guys, what I think about when I look at... uh, well, you know... Hey, don't grin like that, I'm just a hormone-driven teenager too!“
”All right, all right! I'm not laughing at you! I can sympathize with you very well on this topic in particular.”
“Okay. Well, little by little it became clear to me that I couldn't imagine doing it with a boy. At first I thought, well, maybe with you, but later... I realized that I love you in a different way. Well, and then I got scared that you might be angry at me because of that.”
“Tim, I would be angry with you if you did something for my sake that you really didn't want to do.“
”I realize that now. Anyway, I now know what I want out of life. A pretty girl and eventually a bunch of kids – who will have the best uncle in the world, guaranteed.“
”My pleasure.”
“Well, and then I was faced with the big moral issue: should I tell you or not? As I said, I was afraid that you would reject me, but on the other hand I wanted to avoid giving you even more false hope. You know the rest of the story.“
”Are you going to tell your father too?”
“Dad? Why?“
”Well, we had a short conversation about you a few days ago. After we were found in bed together on Sunday morning. He asked me if you were gay too.“
”So, what did you say?“
”The truth: that I have no idea. And that it's something he'd better ask you himself.”
“How did he react?“
”Pretty cool. He agreed with me, even apologized for asking me that question at all. And then he said that if it came to that, I should tell you that he wouldn't have a problem with it and that you shouldn't worry.“
”I wouldn't have expected anything different.”
“Oh yes, and one more thing. He said that he would be happy for us if we became a couple.“
”Oh shit, I hope he's not disappointed!”
“I don't think so. I think, on the contrary, he'll be quite happy to hear that he can still hope for grandchildren. My mother, too, by the way. Reinhardt probably just wanted to make it clear that we don't need to worry about anything, no matter what happens.“
”Well, that's a relief. So, on to another topic. How was your day?“
”Extremely... interesting.”
“Positively interesting or negatively interesting?“
”Both, as well as the other.“
”Speak, Pursche, and don't make me drag every word out of you!“
”And I always thought I spoke with my mouth and not with my nose.“
”Aargh!”
“All right, all right. In summary: frozen, bored, pressed into slave labor, seen God, hit my head on a board, bruised my butt, seen God again, head over heels in love, outed in front of the whole school, defended against brutal attack, almost gone hysterical, calmed down again, let in on big secret, experienced true friendship, condemned to slave labor again, joked with God and then came home. You know the rest.“
”Can you be a tiny bit more specific? I'm supposed to have a lot of imagination, but not that much.”
So I had no choice but to tell Tim what I had experienced in just a few hours. Without mentioning my “dark past,” though. I was sure that I would tell Tim about that at some point, but not today. During my story, Tim's jaw dropped and his eyes popped out of his head. When I was done, he stared at me, apparently not knowing what to say. So I took the floor again.
"As you can see, I had an exciting day. By the way, please forget that our deputy is a lesbian. Or at least keep it to yourself, understood?”
“Uh, yes. Sure. Tell me, that really all happened? You didn't just make it up to make a nice dramatic story, for the internet, for example?“
”What story?"
I was given a mischievous grin again. God, the kid was cute! I'd have to be careful as hell not to get on the wrong side of him.
“Don't pretend, big brother, I know some of your bookmarks by now. Nifty's Archive, ASSGM, Nick's Stories... Do I need to be more explicit?“
”You don't have to, thanks! But to answer your question, there is nothing false or invented in my description of today.“
”Okay, I'll believe you then.”
Hm. Now I would be very interested to know which other websites he had visited. Or had he even found my huge jpg collection on the hard drive? Well, he had already gotten a taste of it on our first afternoon together.
"So, and this Philipp is probably your type?”
I thought about what I should answer, and when I opened my mouth, I was immediately interrupted.
"Don't say a word, I can see it in your eyes. Man, you're really into him! And I'm worried that you're falling into depression because of my unavailability!”
“Uh, well, your hetero outing didn't come as a complete surprise to me, I had somehow suspected it. Don't ask me why, but it became clearer to me every day that I probably wouldn't stand a chance with you.”
“And so you throw yourself at the next best pretty boy?“
A quick glance in Tim's direction showed me that he was anything but serious about this question.
”Hey, I have to watch where I'm going! Besides, I didn't throw myself at Philipp!“
”Not yet!“
”Exactly.”
At that moment, our little verbal skirmish was interrupted by the doorbell.
“That's probably Thomas, he wants to do his homework here.”
“Why, does he need your help?”
"Nah, he just needs the peace and quiet that usually reigns here. I'm just saying: three younger sisters. By the way, just for your information: the sister that matches your age is already spoken for.”
This remark earned me a pillow flying towards my head, which reached its target at the exact moment the door opened and Thomas appeared. I was momentarily distracted by the opening of the door, so it was too late for any evasive movement.
"Just you wait!”
I pounced on Tim and gave him the treatment his father had tried out on me. I can affirm here in lieu of an oath that my stepfather's son was at least as ticklish as I was.
Meanwhile, Thomas had entered the room, largely unnoticed and unobserved by us, since we had other things to do. He took in the scene that presented itself to him.
“Damn, and I thought I could do my math stuff here in peace! I might as well just leave right now, or do you guys have a quiet little room for me somewhere?"
I decided to end my attack on Tim. After all, despite all the joy of the new family situation, I couldn't forget that Thomas had been my best friend for many years now, and it would be really unfair if I were to withdraw my attention from him too much now. Sure, Reinhardt and Tim's arrival changed a lot of things here at home, and Thomas would have to live with the fact that at least here I couldn't give him all my attention anymore. But I would have to try to find a middle ground that was fair to everyone.
“We're quiet, Thomas. Sit down, I'll be right there. I just have to gather my things."
Rising from Tim's bed, I grabbed my school bag and whatever else I needed, and then sat down at the desk next to Thomas, where he was already spreading out his stuff. I took a quick glance in the direction of my brother.
“Sorry, Tim, but homework comes first.“
”No problem. I'll quickly jump in the shower in the meantime, all the lugging around today was pretty exhausting.“
”Do that, you should get out of those warm clothes anyway, otherwise Mutsch will have a fit when she sees you walking around fully clothed in the well-heated house.”
I turned back to the desk, and shortly thereafter Thomas and I were immersed in mathematical problems. They were nowhere near as difficult as Thomas made out, but he always exaggerated about such things anyway. In any case, we were done twenty minutes later and could sit back comfortably. Fortunately, all the other teachers had not given us any homework.
"What's Caren doing, anyway? How's her arm?”
“She's well enough to keep everyone else on their toes. Bring me this, turn that on, put on that CD. You'd think she'd hurt her foot instead of her arm. I'm pretty out of touch, but you can't imagine what goes on in the girls' room! The Chinese idea of a one-child family is becoming more and more appealing to me.”
“Er, just a little hint: then you wouldn't be in the world. If I may remind you: you still have an older brother.“
”Yes, but for such a great guy like me, my parents would have accepted the appropriate punishment.“
”Well, imagination is also an education. Say, is there any new offspring in sight with your parents?”
“Argh! If they want to drive me out of the house for good, then go ahead! Then I'll just move in with you.“
”Sorry, but we're fully booked now. Why don't you try Christine's house? I think her parents like you.”
“Of course they do, how could they resist a gallant old-school guy like me. But move in there? No, I don't think so. They have a huge wolfhound.”
Thomas was terrified of dogs. Ever since he was bitten by one. Conveniently not by a dog that was about his height, i.e. a decent-sized dog, no, Thomas had chosen a tiny Pekinese. To this day, I still don't understand how this creature with its crumpled muzzle was able to sink its tiny teeth into my best friend's calf. But anyway, since that day Thomas gave every dog a wide berth, regardless of whether it was a fierce Alsatian or a miniature version of a barking guinea pig.
“Haha, so to speak the decency-woof-woof!”
"You can say that again. As long as he's around, I don't even dare touch Christine when we're sitting next to each other.”
“You poor thing. The sacrifices you have to make...“
Thomas was relieved of an answer by the bathroom door slamming.
”I'm back!"
While I was closing the notebooks and books, Thomas turned to Tim, who had reappeared, looked briefly at the clock and then back at my brother.
“You're a really good match for Danny. Half an hour in the shower, not much more than his usual time.“
”We're just a clean bunch!“
”Yeah, yeah, whatever. Tell me what you've been doing in there for so long. Uh, wait, I know...“
”What!?!?”
“I didn't say anything! It's just... it's nicer with a girl! Okay, Danny, for you it's probably with a boy."
The smug grin stretched across Thomas' entire face. Tim, whose head had blushed violently for a moment, obviously decided that it would be better not to make a big fuss about it, and came over to us.
“So, homework done?“
”Yep.“
”Want me to check it?“
”Haha, like you little runt would know anything about it!"
My dear Thomas, if you don't get yourself into trouble with that remark. That's what happens when you don't know that you're dealing with an A student, whether he's a year younger or not.
“Shall we bet?“
All my subtle attempts to stop Thomas from taking up this suggestion went completely unnoticed by him.
”Sure! What's the bet?“
”If I win, that is, if I find a mistake in yours, then you have to talk to Philipp and ask him if he can imagine going out with Danny.”
Oh God, Tim wasn't serious about that, was he? I didn't want to bet, so why did he drag me into it?
“Tim, please stop it! If someone addresses Philipp, then it should be me, shouldn't it?”
“Sorry, I just wanted to help you!”
"Thanks, but like I said, it's my business, okay?”
“Okay. All right. If I win, Thomas has to bring me food to the table at school for two weeks.“
”Agreed. And if I win, you have to take the dog off Christine and me for two weeks when we're supposed to walk him.“
”What do you mean?”
“It's simple: if we want to go out together in the afternoon, we almost always have to take the dog with us. You'll meet us, take the dog off our hands for an hour or two so we can have some peace and quiet, and before we go back, you'll bring the giant beast back to us.“
”Okay. I love dogs.”
“I don't! So go on, look at the stuff and be amazed. You won't find any fault, I guarantee it.“
”We'll see."
Tim leaned over Thomas' notebook and studied carefully what we had added up. Well, if he was a dog fan, he couldn't really lose. On the other hand, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get Thomas down from his cloud a bit. Although that would mean that I had screwed up too. While Tim was now going through everything, Thomas became more and more confident of victory, until... yes, until Tim's eyes suddenly lit up and the corners of his mouth twitched steeply upwards.
"Here, you should take another look at this task.”
“No way!“
Doubting Thomas, how fitting. Of course Tim was right, as we found out after a brief study of the problem. The worst part was that it wasn't a calculation error, but a simple careless spelling mistake. But whatever the case, wrong remained wrong.
”Welcome to the waiters' guild, Thomas.”
“Ha, ha! You can laugh, you didn't notice it either. Actually, we would have to take turns serving Tim for the next two weeks.“
”No way! I didn't bet, after all, you were the one who was so enthusiastic about the idea. Now you have to live with the consequences.“
”What's the deal, Tim, can I talk my way out of this somehow?“
”No chance.”
“Great. You know what, this area is too dangerous for me, I'd better disappear before I get involved in any more nonsense."
Tim and I shot up to see how Thomas had meant it, but he grinned at us and we were reassured.
“I didn't mean it like that, guys, but I really have to go, otherwise the questions at home about where I've been will start again. Especially since my poor sister is seriously ill.“
”What about your sister? Which one, Caren?“
”Yep, Caren. It's a long story, it's best if Danny tells you.”
Thomas packed his things and made his way to the door.
“You don't have to take me down, I'll find my own way out. See you tomorrow.”
And off he went.
“Hey, Danny, I hope you're not mad at me about the mistake thing.”
"No, not at all. It was quite funny. I don't think Thomas will underestimate you anytime soon.”
I turned on the TV, we sat down on my bed, and just as I was about to ask Tim what we wanted to do with the day we had started, there was a knock at the door, it opened and my mother pushed another visitor into the room. It was strange, I hadn't even heard the doorbell.
“Boys, I brought someone with me. Ralph was just about to ring the bell when Thomas left the house.“
”Hello Danny, Tim. I hope I'm not disturbing you.“
”Nah, just come in, take a seat. What's up?“
”Uh, I'd like to talk to Danny for a few minutes, if that's okay.”
I looked at Tim, who looked back at me, and he understood the hint.
“I'll go to the kitchen and see if I can find something to eat.”
Now my mother also joined the conversation again.
"Tim, could you get dressed and run an errand for me? I just realized that I have no more milk in the house.”
“No problem, I just have to dry my hair.“
”Oh, you were probably in the shower? Then it won't work for you, it takes too long. You stay here. Ralph, can you discuss it with Danny on the way?“
”Uh, yes. Sure, no problem.“
”Go ahead, Danny, get dressed. You're going to the supermarket with Ralph.”
So back out into the cold, great. But I knew my mother, there was no arguing, I had to go along with it. I set about putting on my clothes, and half an hour later I was ready to go. Well, it didn't take quite that long. At the front door, my mother handed me money and a shopping list, because of course it wasn't just a carton of milk.
“Can I take the Mercedes?“
”Well, of course! Dream on, sonny. Come on, march, I need the milk! And don't dawdle on the way home, not that the potatoes will freeze."
Somehow I had the stupid feeling that even after passing my driving test, I would never be allowed to sit behind the wheel of her favorite toy. So Ralph and I had no choice but to walk to the supermarket, which was a few streets away. We walked in silence for a few minutes, on the one hand I would have liked to know what was on Ralph's mind, but on the other hand I didn't want to rush him. Just as the silence was getting to me and I wanted to let my good intentions go, Ralph started talking.
“Danny, I'm sorry about what happened at school today.“
”Me too. But I hope Matthias is even sorrier.“
”Are you mad at me for not saying anything? I mean, it would have taken some of the pressure off you.”
“Angry with you? Why? Listen: when you tell someone and who you tell is entirely up to you. I won't talk you out of it. I know myself what an effort it takes to do that, and the wish has to come from you.“
”Okay, thanks. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.”
“As I said, it's entirely your decision. But what I would like to know now...“
”Yes?“
”What kind of reactions did you get in your class?“
”Different. In any case, everyone was happy that this idiot Matthias had finally met his match.”
This could really turn out to be a positive side effect. As already mentioned, Matthias had almost picked on everyone at school, and if I was now seen as the one who had given him a good punch in the nose, maybe some were willing to overlook the real cause of the fighting, namely my being gay.
“The girls were all cool, probably a little disappointed that they no longer had a chance with you."
But hello, since when was I the big heartthrob at our illustrious teaching institution? Especially from girls two years younger than me. Did they really have hopes for me? Brrr, better not even think about it.
“Two or three guys were macho, but most of them just didn't care.“
Two or three potential idiots per class, I could live with that.
”It actually sounds pretty good. If it's like that in all classes, I won't complain.“
”Let's hope for the best.”
Meanwhile, we had arrived at the consumer temple, first filling the shopping cart, then the carrying basket, and we were already on our way back.
“Tell me, what's the story with you and Christoph?”
"I'm going skiing with him and his parents this weekend.”
Ralph's face was positively glowing with enthusiasm. Well, who could blame him? I had another severe attack of envy and could only hope that it didn't show.
“So everything's okay with the respective parents?“
”Yes, everything's great.“
”And what about Katja, is she giving you any trouble?“
”She doesn't even dare to look at me or Chris the wrong way. Our parents seem to have given her a pretty rough time after last year's party.”
Serves her right. And I was really happy for Ralph that he was so lucky with his old folks. Meanwhile we had arrived back home, we had hurried on the way back as instructed – well, I couldn't stand frozen potatoes either. And I certainly couldn't stand frozen Danny, and it was actually more cold than I liked.
“Danny, thanks for your time, I'm on my way home.“
”Don't you want to come in for a minute?“
”I'd like to, but I don't have time. Chris is coming over tonight with his parents to plan the weekend.“
”Well, have fun.“
”Thanks! Bye.“
”Same to you.”
I turned into the property, opened the front door and delivered my purchases to the kitchen. Just as I was about to slip out of my jacket, I heard a scream that sounded just like my mother.
“Danny! Didn't you get any eggs?”
"No, why? They weren't on the list.”
“Damn! You were barely gone when the last three fell out of my hand. But I thought I had written down eggs, are you sure there was nothing on the note?“
”No! Here, I still have it, look!”
“Yes, yes, I believe you. Damn, now I remember. They were on the note from this morning. And we forgot them just like the milk.“
”Great job, Mutsch. You write a note and then forget even what's on it.”
“I know exactly what you're going to say, so you better hold it back! Don't start giving me the Alzheimer's act now. I'm sorry, but you have to go out again. We're having egg salad for dinner, and it won't work without eggs.“
”You're on to me! You're doing this on purpose so you can chase me out into the cold.”
“I would never do that to you! I would have shouted after you, but you were already too far away.“
”Excuses, excuses. You know what, get me a cell phone so you can reach me anytime. And I'll save myself doubling the distance.“
”That's what it comes to! You'll be constantly calling 0190 sex numbers, and I'll have to pay for it.”
“Damn, you've seen through me!“
”Exactly. So go on, get lost."
What else could I do? I set off again on the now well-known route. In the supermarket, I checked the condition of the eggs with eagle eyes, then I went to the checkout, where the cashier gave me a look similar to the one Ms. Möller had given me that morning. As a reminder: you again? I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed two more surprise eggs for Tim and me from the checkout sweets display. After all, my mom had sent me out to buy eggs, so how was I supposed to know what kind of eggs she meant? However, I refrained from doing the “hold-it-to-your-ear-and-shake-it” test this time, which I sometimes did to give the (completely false) impression that I knew what I was doing. Shortly thereafter, I was on my way home again, paying particular attention to icy spots, after all, I wanted to bring the fragile cargo safely to the kitchen at home. Not that I would be sent out a third time.
Despite the slippery conditions, everything went smoothly, and this time my mother couldn't think of any reason to send me out again. After I had freed myself from my jacket, scarf, hat, gloves, shoes, etc., I went to get the surprise eggs I had fought for, mildly smiled at by my mom.
“So there are still small children in the house after all.“
”I was supposed to buy eggs, that's what I did.“
”All right. You've earned them. I hope one of them is for Tim?“
”Indeed. By the way, where is Reinhardt, anyway? Don't tell me you've forgotten him somewhere, too.”
“Well, I'm really not that forgetful! He's at a friend's house getting the backup data from his computer.”
That's right, he had hinted at something like that. Fortunately, Reinhardt had been smart enough not to trust the results of his work only to the hard disk at home, which had been well extinguished by the fire, and had safely stored a second set of data elsewhere. Losing the computer was bearable, but with the data it would have been a completely different matter.
"He should be here soon.”
“Tell me, why didn't you call him and ask him to do the shopping on his way home? He's got a cell phone, after all!“
”Don't be like that, Reinhardt has enough on his plate. Besides, you wouldn't have these two chocolate eggs then.”
“That's right. Reinhardt would have brought Tim and me much more.“
”That's enough, Danny. Get out of here before I make you do kitchen duty."
That was an argument, all right. I had never fled from the kitchen so quickly and ran up the stairs. I opened the door to my room and startled Tim, who was working at the computer.
“What's the matter with you, you look like the devil is after you!“
Which my little brother wasn't that far off.
”Here, I brought you something.”
I pressed the surprise egg into Tim's hand, and somehow my mother seemed to be right: he was really happy like a little child. If it was that easy to make him happy, he could have it every day.
I also set about being surprised, and shortly afterwards we were busy making the cheapest toys. The rest of the day passed very quietly, Reinhardt soon turned up, we had supper, I treated myself to a long hot bath after the day's cold loads, and shortly after ten Tim and I were in bed. The following day promised to be interesting again, and I was a little pleased that Tim would now no longer be able to avoid visiting the hallowed halls of my school. Surprisingly, despite the events of the day, I was able to fall asleep quickly, beaten only by Tim, who seemed able to simply lie down and fall asleep soundly in the next moment. At least when his mind was not burdened by any catastrophes.
New day – new luck. Wednesday. That meant a planned afternoon, because this weekday was mainly characterized by my weekly karate training. Which unfortunately coincided with Tim's swimming training. Why unfortunate? It's quite simple: no opportunity for the big brother to pick up the little brother from training and take advantage of the opportunity to cast greedy glances at scantily clad, breathtaking water rats. My martial arts colleagues were... well, I don't want to offend anyone, so I'll refrain from giving a more precise description. Maybe I should advertise among the beauties in the area. Maybe Philipp would be interested... Dream on, Danny. Or rather, wake up, Danny!
This time, in contrast to the previous days, the wake-up call and my usual morning routine were followed by the pleasant opportunity to kick Tim out of bed. Which he acknowledged with a clear grumble – which I in turn acknowledged with clear delight. Wait a minute, did I just say “delight”? My God, how gay! Anyway. A short time later, I was sitting at the breakfast table, and just as I had finished at least partially satisfying my energy needs, my brother also appeared in the kitchen – not much more cheerful than I had been a quarter of an hour earlier.
"Danny, I hate you! How could you just tear me out of the most beautiful dream!”
“Can I return the compliment? Mom, I hate you! How could you tear me out of the most beautiful dream!“
”Help, must that be! It was bad enough to get you out of bed and on your way to school early in the morning, Tim, not now too!”
“Exactly, mom is right. I thought you liked school.“
”Yes, but only after I get there. I don't like getting up at all.“
”Then complain to the school administration and request a later start to the day. It's not my fault, and it's not your brother's either.“
”All right, all right. I'll pull myself together in the future.”
I gulped down the last sip of tea down my gullet, then I looked at my mother, who was once again watching with wide-open eyes in shock the amount of food that Tim shoveled onto his plate. And which were not particularly different from the amounts that I had already put to their intended use just a few minutes before.
“Mutsch, when do you actually have the appointment with Mrs. Möller today?“
”Half past nine.“
”Is Reinhardt coming too?“
”Yes, of course he wants to see the hellhole his son is being admitted to."
Oh, she was learning! My dear mother was already using the terminology I had introduced. However, I doubted whether this would make Tim's first day in this hellhole any easier. A quick glance at the clock showed me, however, that I didn't have time to dwell on the subject, so I got up and marched into the corridor, where I put on my winter clothes in the usual laborious procedure. Ready to go, I returned to the kitchen, threw a “see you later” into the room, helped myself to a freshly buttered jam roll from Tim's plate and left the kitchen and house to the loud protest of the robbed and the equally loud laughter of my mother.
On my way to school, the memories of what had happened the day before came back to me, and of course my pessimistically tuned subconscious decided to play all sorts of possible and impossible unpleasant situations that might occur. Wonderful. Fortunately, the way to school was not too long, otherwise I would have arrived at my destination completely depressed. The schoolyard was empty, the big door was slightly open, so I saved myself as fast as I could into the warm building. Today's first lesson was physics, which would not necessarily support my efforts to wake up. Arriving at the venue, I saw that some fellow prisoners were already present, and I greeted them. Which went quite normally, no difference to the time before the big Matthias bang. I had barely taken my seat next to Thomas when Lisa came rushing into the room and stood in front of us a moment later.
“Hello guys.”
She was literally gasping for air. She hadn't been running, had she? In the school building! That didn't go at all with the otherwise well-behaved Lisa. Although I should actually put “well-behaved Lisa” in quotation marks. Which I have done here.
“Listen, stupid Matthias broke his collarbone yesterday!"
Well, hello! The structure of our venerable school actually seemed to be in better condition than the first impression suggested. But Lisa wasn't finished with her news.
“His parents kicked up a huge fuss. First they went to the miller, but she told them how it really happened, and so they were sent away. But they didn't agree with that at all, so they went to the school board – only to be turned away again.”
Good old Lisa was, as always, a fount of inside information about school life. None of us knew where she got her insights from, but they were always right on the money. There was no known family connection between Lisa and any of the school staff, so Lisa's knowledge was one of the great unsolved mysteries of our time.
“So, who are you going to see now? The Minister of Education?“
My heart was leaping up and down in my chest. The questioner was none other than Philipp.
”You'd better not give them any bad ideas. Our dear Danny is probably nervous enough as it is.“
”Me? Nervous? You should know me better than that, Thomas.”
“Sorry, right. You're not nervous, of course, just completely hysterical with fear.“
”Hysterical and afraid. Unlike you, these words are not in my vocabulary at all. I may be scared shitless, but I'm not hysterical, nor am I afraid.“
”Now that you mention it, it does smell a bit strange in here.”
The howling that followed was only interrupted by the entrance of Mr. Tröger. He radiated his usual “élan,” this time, to make matters worse, combined with a bad mood.
“Sit down, and do it quickly! As usual, Mr. Kupfer and Mr. Thom. Daniel, didn't you cause enough damage yesterday, couldn't you at least hold back a little now?"
What had made old Tröger snap today! He apparently saw my astonishment.
“Because of you, my son's rugby team has lost its best player!"
Tröger had a son? Wasn't at least a modicum of energy necessary for procreation? I wouldn't have thought old Tröger was capable of it. Oh well, the boy was probably adopted. But wait, what did he just say? I really couldn't let that go uncommented on.
“It's not my fault that Matthias is throwing himself against the wall. She must have confused him with his girlfriend. Although, that reminds me, he doesn't have a girlfriend. I wonder why that is.“
”I... I... You know exactly what I mean! And now stop it, get your books out, we can't afford to waste any more time.”
I used the general rummaging that followed in the various bags we had brought with us to take a quick look around – and saw grinning faces everywhere. Thomas gave me the thumbs-up – but the victory sign that Flip gave me was much more interesting. Well, Tröger zero, Danny one.
The rest of the lesson passed by slowly as usual, but the corners of everyone's mouths were turned up the whole time, which did not please the teacher at all. But the angrier he became, the more the audience enjoyed themselves. In the end, whenever he turned to the blackboard, quiet giggling could be heard. No idea how this would have continued, maybe even the sleepy Tröger would have exploded at some point, but before this could happen, we were all released by the recess bell. Normally, in such situations, the students were the ones who fled the room – but this time it was the teacher who couldn't get out of our presence fast enough. With the result that the moment the door slammed shut behind him, the quiet giggling turned into loud laughter. The next moment, I felt a sharp blow to the back.
"Well done, Danny! A few more comments like that and Tröger is ready for the insane asylum.”
Well, I hadn't really said anything out of the ordinary. I couldn't really imagine that it had made such a big impression on Tröger. Something else must have happened. I decided to hold back a little in the future when dealing with him – not out of pity for him, but out of pity for his potential fellow inmates null
The school day went on as it had begun. All in all, it seemed that not much had changed for me as a result of my forced coming out, at least at first glance. Apart from the fact that I had the feeling that everyone was staring at me, there were no reactions from the assembled student body for the time being. None of the teachers addressed the “issue” either. I didn't really know what to think of that. Should I be happy about it now? Or was this just a sign of temporary repression, was the big bang still to come?
But wait a minute, I was actually worrying way too much about the wrong things again. I should rather think about how I could “conquer” Philipp. Just kidding, unfortunately. I could be highly satisfied that he obviously accepted me as a friend. On the other hand... what if Thomas had been right? Unfortunately, my ability to read other people's minds always had glitches at the crucial moment.
During the break before the English lesson, I looked out for my beloved family, and indeed I spotted Tim and our two old folks as they made their way to the office. Strictly speaking, I mainly spotted Reinhardt, who towered over the students running between us like a fire lookout. I made my way to them and greeted my little brother at the school that would also be his destiny for the foreseeable future. And I couldn't help but feel that he didn't really seem that enthusiastic despite all his protestations to the contrary.
We talked for a little while, then my mother looked at her watch and urged us to leave.
“Tim, we have to go or we'll be late. Danny, you must have your next lesson too.“
And off they went. I marched back in the direction of my own class. That is, I wanted to march there, but I was stopped along the way by someone grabbing me from behind the shoulder.
”Hey, Danny, do you know this guy?”
Well, that was interesting! Tim had caused a stir with his very first brief appearance. And it got even better: the girl who was so interested in my brother was none other than the little sister of my big interest! This opened up a number of possibilities.
"Tim is my brother. Why?”
Now it turned out that not only I could blush. Good old Veronica seemed to be prone to it as well.
“Uh... nothing, it's fine.”
I shrugged and wanted to continue on my way, but Flip's sister managed to show some curiosity after all.
“Wait a minute, Danny. Is your brother, uh... you say his name is Tim? Good. I mean, is he... is he also... well, you know!"
This was getting better and better. Almost as if it had been ordered. Now the big question was whether I should set Tim up on a date on his first day here.
“Tim likes girls, if that's what you want to know. What type he likes exactly, I can't tell you, though, so I can't tell you if you would have a chance with him.“
”Nonsense! I... oh, leave me alone!”
That said it all. If she ended up with my brother – and I with her brother – then we really did have some pretty complicated family relationships on our hands. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if there was something between Tim and Veronica; after all, both were anything but ugly.
But now it was really time for me to get back to school, so I gave Philipp's sister another challenging grin and then headed for English class.
The rest of the school day was uneventful, except that Flip was more or less always to be found near Thomas and me. I couldn't figure out the exact reason for that, though. Was he just happy to have found a few new friends, or did his interest actually go further than that? During the lunch break, we were all sitting together at our usual table again, only Veronika had joined her own classmates today. This gave me the welcome opportunity to inform her brother that she had shown quite an interest in Tim.
“Hey, Flip, is Veronica after the boys?“
”No, why?“
”Well, let's put it this way: your little sister showed quite an interest in my little brother today.“
”What? I thought your brother just enrolled today?”
“Exactly, and that's when he ran into your sister. And when she realized that I knew him, she took me aside right away and tried to ask me about him. However, she was a little shocked when she heard that Tim is my brother.”
“That's interesting. To answer your question: normally she is rather reserved. She fell for something once, and since then she has been particularly careful. Your brother must have made a pretty good first impression on her.“
”I can well understand that, he did with me too.“
”What do you mean?”
“Let's just say that I had hopes for him for a while too.“
”For your own brother?"
Oops, that's right, we hadn't gotten that far into my family history yet. I'd better catch up on that quickly before good old Philipp starts thinking of me as an incestuous pervert.
“Tim is actually only my stepbrother, and I would ask you to forget that as soon as possible. He's my brother, full stop. But I only met him a few weeks ago, and my first reaction to him was quite similar to your sister's.“
”Oh, I see. But he's straight, right?”
“Yep, hopelessly straight. Well, depending on your point of view. Unfortunately for me, he's the wrong way around.“
”Solo?“
”At the moment he's available, yes. Why, do you want to set them up?”
“Well, if they like each other, that wouldn't be a bad thing. Veronica could really use a friend; after the fiasco with Frank, she's become quite withdrawn in that regard."
Hm, I could use a friend too. But there was still another question regarding our younger siblings to be clarified.
“Tell me, you seem to be quite convinced that you are not threatened by Tim causing a fiasco, and yet you don't even know him.“
”Hm, I just made an assumption about the little brother based on the big brother."
Well, hello! Was I reading too much into this, or was Flip trying to flirt with me?
“However, I didn't consider that you didn't grow up together and therefore it's hard to compare.“
”You're right. But I can assure you that Tim is no risk for Veronica. He's quite shy and insecure himself, and I think the worst thing he can imagine is hurting someone else.”
“Good to know. And what about his big brother in this regard?"
I looked at my counterpart penetratingly, but still couldn't tell what exactly he was getting at. Okay, maybe it was actually time to reveal a little more.
“His big brother isn't quite as shy, not quite as insecure, and if necessary, he'll hurt someone else. But there's one thing that the big brother has in common with the little brother.“
”And what's that?“
”The big brother is still available, too.”
This provoked a smile on Philip's face, and who knows what else would have happened if... yes, if it hadn't been stupidly time to leave for the next lesson, which Katja loudly announced at that moment. So we had no choice but to interrupt the promising conversation and return to the lowlands of everyday school life. And we didn't get a chance to pick up that conversation again, the breaks were too short and too hectic, and after school I had to run to get home on time and then to training. Except for a quick goodbye in front of many classmates, there was no more opportunity to talk to Philipp. Life could be cruel... But at least it seemed as if I was on the right track... Wait a minute, I'm not turning into an optimist here, am I?
Well, whatever. I rushed home and then swung myself onto my bike and rode to training – yes, Danny on his bike in winter, just thinking about it made me start freezing. But it was the only way to make it to the dojo on time. The training itself was exhausting and quite painful this time. Somehow my mind wasn't really on the task at hand, and that took its toll in the form of several incoming attacks from my opponents – which left a lot of surprised faces. Neither my “opponents” nor the teacher were accustomed to such “failures” on my part, and I was on the verge of being thrown out of the session. I pulled myself together just in time, although I still wasn't able to reach my normal level. In the end, I was glad when the training was over – and that rarely happened to me.
And what was that saying? Out of the frying pan, into the fire. The teasing started in the showers.
“Hey, Danny, what was up with you today? Have you suddenly forgotten everything?”
"Nonsense, I just had my mind on something else. What's the girl's name?”
I was thrilled and tried to finish as quickly as possible – unfortunately not quickly enough to avoid further comments. Not that they were meant to be nasty, we all got along quite well – although not so well that I had told my colleagues that I was into boys. Who knows how the shower would have gone if I had. The fact that none of them matched my type of dream boy was very helpful in this regard; fortunately, embarrassing situations in the nude had always been avoided so far.
“Niklas, I think you're right. Our karate master is in love!”
"Exactly. In other words, is she blonde, brown-haired, tall, short, older or younger?”
I groaned. They wouldn't stop nagging me until their curiosity was satisfied.
“Light blonde hair, blue eyes, about my height, my age, and probably completely unaware that I'm interested.”
“Oh, is Danny shy?”
"Go for it, Danny!”
Luckily, I had finally managed it, and left the shower area at a rapid pace, got dressed and set out to leave the dojo – and was promptly stopped by our boss.
“Danny, come to the office, please!”
I did as I was told, entered and... saw a familiar face! Before I could say anything, the trainer continued.
“This here is Danny Thom, one of our best students. Two-time city youth champion and third at the last state championships.“
Well, I definitely wouldn't have made it with my performance today.
”Although it's hard to believe that the way he stumbled around today."
Ah yes. Well, okay, I guess I deserved that and the penetrating, uncomprehending look that went with it.
“Danny, this is Mrs. Stein. She just moved here and will soon be taking over training for the children's group with us."
I had to swallow and was on the verge of passing out. The mother of the flame of my heart was a karate teacher, and in my club at that! I would probably have to be much more careful about Flip than I had ever imagined.
“We've met before. Hello Danny, nice to see you again so soon.“
How does the saying go? Unexpected is often.
”Hello Mrs. Stein.“
”You already know Danny?“
”Yes, my son and he are in the same class, and I met him yesterday after school.”
“Well, that's wonderful! Danny, do you have a little time to show Ms. Stein around? I have to step out for half an hour.”
What was the biggest dilemma in teenage life? Quite simply: that you couldn't refuse a favor to an adult without immediately being considered rude. Others might not mind, but I was probably too well-mannered to risk it.
"Oh, but I really don't want to intrude! Danny, if you don't have time, I can come back later.”
Okay, that was it. I was on the hook, with no chance of getting away. And certainly not with this adult; I couldn't afford to antagonize her in any way. I had no idea what she knew about me and thought of me, but it was definitely better to satisfy her in every way. Okay, not in every way *g*.
“No problem, I have time.“
”Thank you, Danny. Well, Mrs. Stein, I'll leave you in his care for the time being, and I'll see you again later. Danny will show you my office, where you can wait for me. I'll be back here in an hour and forty-five minutes at the latest. Bye!"
And with that she left me alone with Philipp's mother. A not particularly comfortable silence spread, and before that could get out of hand, I decided it would be better to start the tour. I showed her the details of the complex, which included a fitness area in addition to the karate department. While I was doing this, I tried to get some information out of the person I was entrusted with by means of clever conversation.
“Will Philipp be training here too?“
”Flip? No, definitely not. He knows the basics of karate, but he's not interested in any serious training."
What a bummer. What kind of mother was she, who was a trainer herself and couldn't even get her own son interested in her sport!
“Veronika, on the other hand, is passionate about it, and Kevy also wants to start as early as possible."
Oh dear! Veronika trained karate? Could I expose Tim to such a danger, or should I rather try to keep her away from him?
After a good twenty minutes, Ms. Stein had seen everything and I took her to the boss's office.
“Well, that's it. Do you have any more questions, Ms. Stein?“
”No, thank you, you've been a very good tour guide.“
”I'm glad, thank you.“
”Ah, tell me... does the coffee machine outside the door work?“
”Yes. Should I get you a cup?”
“That would be very nice. And get one for yourself, too. Here's some money."
I took the coins and marched to the machine, where I tapped out a cup of coffee for Flip's mother and a cup of lemon tea for myself. Back in the office, I put the coffee on the table in front of the future trainer.
“Thank you, Danny. Do you have a moment? Yes? Very well, please sit down."
I had a rather strange feeling about the whole thing, but what could I do other than comply with her request.
Ms. Stein looked at me with an unfathomable look, took a sip from the coffee cup, sighed softly, and then began to speak.
“Danny, seeing you here earlier was a bit of a shock for me.“
What should I say to that?
”To be honest, I don't really know what to think of you. Since I picked up Philipp and his sister from school yesterday, the boy has talked almost exclusively about you.”
At least now she had my full attention. At least she didn't beat around the bush.
“Danny this, Danny that – it was like that the whole time.”
I was speechless. I really hadn't expected that. And what was Ms. Stein's purpose in having this conversation?
“I then also asked Veronika in a quiet moment what this was all about with you, and she told a rather interesting story about a fight in the dining room."
Now I had to intervene and set the record straight.
“Ms. Stein, there was never a fight. Someone wanted to fight with me, but it didn't come to that. And I didn't touch him a single time.”
“Okay, 'a fight' was a bit of an exaggeration, I gathered that too. Nevertheless, I'm quite confused, also because there is another thing going on.“
I had a vague idea of what was going to happen next.
”Is it true, Danny, are you gay?”
What should I answer to that? That it was none of her business? It wouldn't have been a problem if... well, if she wasn't the mother of the boy I had my eye on. To deny it would have been just as stupid, after all, there had been plenty of witnesses, not least her own children. So I guess the only thing left for me to do was to tell the truth.
"Yes.”
“Good.“
Huh? Did she just say ‘good’? How should I understand that again! This conversation was extremely confusing.
”I don't quite understand...“
”I'm sure you don't, I don't really understand it myself. Danny, my husband and I, we're worried about Philipp.”
Come on, let's move on. What kind of worries? Were they afraid I might seduce their dear little son? Lure him to the other side? Come on, don't keep me in suspense.
"Flip has changed in recent years, and we no longer know how to approach him. Oh yes, on the outside he is cheerful, approachable and
nice – but after a certain point, he's done for the day, he withdraws into himself."
I couldn't really imagine it, but if his own mother said so, it must be true. The only question left was why she was telling me this.
“Do you have any idea how happy I was yesterday when I saw that Philipp had made friends at his new school on his very first day? In Munich, he had fewer and fewer friends from year to year, even those with whom he used to hang out almost twenty-four hours a day. And when you asked them why, they said it wasn't because of them, but because of Flip.”
That was all very interesting, but I would have liked her to get to the point.
"When my husband and I heard more about you at home, especially more about you, it was kind of an eye-opener. I mean, somehow everything suddenly fits together. The shutting himself off, the turning stubborn when we ask him what's wrong with him. His sister has had quite a few boyfriends – I think you understand what I mean – but Philipp has never introduced us to a girlfriend, and he's never even talked about having one.”
Things were slowly becoming clearer in my mind's eye. If what I expected came now, then one of my hopes would be fulfilled.
"And yesterday, suddenly, the boy was a changed man! No more fake smiles, no, a real one! And one that he couldn't get rid of for the rest of the day. He was really looking forward to the next day at school! And he only talks about his new friends. No, that's not right, about one of his new friends. And it just so happens that this particular friend is homosexual and proud of it. My husband and I talked half the night and we are now pretty sure that Philipp is gay.”
Thank you, dear God, thank you! It actually sounded as if Ms. Stein was right.
“What do you think, Danny, is he?"
What had I done wrong to be constantly bombarded with such serious questions? What should I answer? ‘Yes, Mrs. Stein, I really hope so’? Should I tell her that I had the impression that her son was flirting with me? Or should I tell her what Thomas thought of him? What did she expect from me now? What exactly did she want to hear? A confirmation, or rather a clear no?
"Uh, Mrs. Stein, it can't be said that way. I mean, for all the things you've told me, there are many possible explanations, and only one of them would be that he's gay.”
“But Danny, it's you yourself!“
”That's right, but that doesn't mean that I can see it in everyone who is. If that were the case, my God, I would have been in a relationship long ago! I don't know if there really is such a thing as a 'gaydar', but if there is, it doesn't work for me.”
Flip's mother seemed quite desperate, but what could I have done differently? After all, I wasn't a trained shrink.
"Maybe you're right, Danny, it's just... I was hoping that maybe you could help us, provide some clarity...”
“Ms. Stein, I can only tell you that I also had similar phases while I slowly found out that I was different. It took me quite a long time before I was ready to confide in someone – and at the same time I felt bad about keeping it secret from the people I was close to.“
”So, what should we do now? Talk to him about it?”
“No, that wouldn't be a good idea. At least not the direct method.“
”What do you mean by direct method?“
”Ms. Stein, what is your relationship with Philipp like in general? I mean, are there many secrets and so on?“
”No, not really. At least in the past we told each other everything. Today, however...”
“Then I would say that he is dealing with something so big that he is not yet ready to tell you. It could be that he is gay. Just asking him point-blank whether he is could do more harm than good.“
”I understand that, but what should we do?”
“I hope I'm not being too nosy, but...“
”Go ahead, I'll tell you if you get too nosy.“
”Well, what do your family, you and your husband think about homosexuality?“
”Well, to be honest, we've never really thought about it.”
“I mean different things. How do you react when gays appear on television? What do you say when gay topics are in the newspaper? All sorts of things like that. Do you gossip about it, show no interest, loudly curse the 'fucking gays'?“
”Danny, you have to believe me, no one has ever said anything like that to us, and certainly not thought it. Not me, anyway!“
”Okay.”
“Well, I can't actually remember that there were ever any discussions about such things in our neighborhood. It just didn't affect us, and that was that. We were never interested in what other people did with their lives, what they did in bed. Everyone should live their own life as long as they don't harm anyone else, we don't care how they live it.”
That didn't sound so bad.
“Good. I think you should pay even more attention to it in the future. A single careless remark can be damn painful for someone who feels addressed.”
I had to find that out myself when my mother, in pre-
coming out times regularly about Alfred Biolek or Hape Kerkeling. Not that I particularly admired these people, but I didn't like it when Mutti trashed them because of their homosexuality. Fortunately, this behavior stopped immediately after I came out to her.
"And you really think we shouldn't ask him directly?”
“No, at least not yet. You said that he was suddenly very different yesterday, didn't you?“
”That's right, he was like a different person. He laughed, joked with us, and talked to us more than we usually do in a whole week.”
And running over me, I know. But why? There were several possible explanations, even if you assumed that Philipp was actually gay. Of course, he could have fallen in love with me right away. (Hey, you're still allowed to dream!) Or, he was just happy to see that he was not alone in being gay, that could also take a huge burden off your shoulders, something I knew from my own experience. But wait, his mother was waiting for me to say something too.
"So a change for the better? Very good. Then I would say give him a little more time. If we assume that Flip is gay, then what happened yesterday at your house could almost be considered a kind of mini-coming-out, right? Maybe he wanted to test how you would react to him finding a gay friend. How did you actually react, if I may ask?”
“I think quite normally, I mean, as we would have reacted to any other friend. We were just happy with him that he had found someone he would like to have as a friend. That this someone – excuse the stupid wording – that you are gay, was not discussed at all. We just took note of it. Was that wrong?”
“Wrong, probably not. Well, maybe you could have taken the opportunity to say something in general on the subject. Like you don't have any problems with 'our kind' or something. But if it only dawned on you later that your own son might be in the same situation as me, then at that point you had no reason to think about it at all.”
“Hm, I can see that the whole thing is even more complicated than I had thought. Nevertheless, Danny, thank you very much. You have helped me, or rather us, a lot.“
”I'm glad. But there is one more question I would like to ask you. You don't have to answer this question right away, but you should definitely think about it carefully. Together with your husband.”
“Go ahead, nothing can shock me anymore.“
”Okay. What if Philipp is actually gay? What do you think about that? How would you react if he came to you tonight and 'confessed' it? Would it change the way you feel about him? Can you live with a gay son?“
”Hey, didn't you say something about a question?”
“Sorry, I hope I didn't go too far.“
”No, no, that's not what I meant. You're absolutely right. We have been wondering whether he is gay, might be gay or not, but we haven't thought about what it would mean for all of us if he really was.”
“Believe me, it's not that simple. I mean, parents do worry about their children's future, and a coming out throws a lot of that into disarray. My mother also found it difficult to accept that she would not have any grandchildren from me, at least not biological ones.”
“God, what all is involved! Tell me, what do you think, would your mother be willing to talk to my husband and me about the subject? In case it should actually become acute for us, I mean.“
”Possible. I can ask her sometime.“
”That would be very nice...”
Right in the middle of this sentence, our boss burst into the office we were occupying, completely out of breath.
“I have to apologize, Ms. Stein, Danny. But these bank guys have reinvented bureaucracy.”
"No problem, Mr. Schroth. Danny was a very accommodating host, and we had a good chat.”
“Well, I'm relieved to hear that. Thank you, Danny, we won't keep you any longer."
I looked at my watch and realized that almost an hour had passed since the end of my own training session. I said goodbye to the two adults, an opportunity that Flip's mother took to thank me again. I was about to thank her for the information she had provided, but then I realized that this might not be such a good idea. The good woman had enough to digest with the possibility that her oldest son might be gay, so I didn't need to arouse her suspicion that the guy she had asked for advice was, of all things, in love with her son.
In any case, it had been a very eventful and informative afternoon, and highly satisfied despite my lapses during the training itself, I cycled home – and this time even without noticing the cold! Well, that's what it's like when your heart is warm...
At home, I was already impatiently awaited; so far, I hadn't been able to get rid of my mother's habit of always wanting to know where I was.
“There you are at last, Danny! Where have you been all this time, your training finished ages ago?“
”Mr. Schroth asked me to show a new trainer around, and that just took a while.“
”Couldn't you have at least called? I was worried.”
I felt like I was on German television. By popular demand, please join us once again for the seventy-eighth episode of our beloved series 'Mom's the Best'. Or as we also like to call it, 'Same procedure as every year, James'. I groaned inwardly.
“Mom, I'm seventeen, I'm practically about to retire! How long should I still be hanging on your coattails?“
”Yes, yes, I know. Nevertheless, you're still my son, and I just have a few thoughts about that.“
”You should. But you also know that I can take good care of myself, right?”
“All right, all right. I'll try to hold back a bit more in the future.“
Would she really be able to do that? I had my doubts. But wait, maybe there was still something to be gained from it?
”If you really want to be able to reach me anytime, then maybe you should get me a cell phone after all...”
“Ha, you'll never let this go, will you?"
At least not until she gave in.
“No way, young man. Why does a teenager need a cell phone, can you explain that to me? To call people after school, with whom he has been sitting in class for hours? This is just a money-making scheme, conjured up by a few clever marketing strategists. But I'm not going to play along with that. If you really need to call from the road, then you have your phone card, that's got to be enough. I'm not getting you a cell phone, anyway. If you absolutely need one, then buy one yourself when you're eighteen. Or buy one now with a prepaid card, but don't complain about the costs afterwards. I'm not getting you a penny for this nonsense.”
That was another conversation that we had with beautiful regularity. Well, it was worth a try. At least she was now distracted from my “inexcusable” lateness...
“Say, mom, where are Tim and Reinhardt, actually?”
"Reinhardt picks up Tim from training, the two should actually also show up soon.”
I wonder if I should ask them where they've been for so long? Well, at least I could use the situation to bring up another topic.
“Hey mom, do you remember the time shortly after I told you that I'm gay?”
"How could I ever forget that? Probably the only point at which I completely failed as a mother.”
“Ah, come on, it wasn't that bad. After all, it was a pretty big thing I threw at you.“
”Still, I should have handled it better. You needed me and I rejected you.“
”Yes, but you turned things around in time and everything turned out fine.”
“I know, but I still blame myself for it. But why are you bringing this up now, out of the blue? Has something happened? Don't tell me that Tim is going to drop a similar bombshell soon.“
”Would that be so terrible? But I can reassure you, Tim likes girls.”
Which, of course, could also lead to a bomb exploding. As is well known, girls have a habit of getting pregnant. But well, my brother wasn't that far yet. At least I hoped not. I really couldn't imagine having to play uncle to a screaming baby in the near future. Nothing against children, but couldn't they at least come into the world as ten-year-olds? At least from that age on, you could do something with them. And don't get any stupid ideas about what I mean by “do.” I'm gay, but not perverted – even if certain large and small sects disagree.
“I didn't mean that, Danny. Of course it wouldn't be terrible. But I'm just surprised that you're digging into family history so surprisingly.“
”Tell me, would it have helped you back then if you could have talked to another mother who had already been through the whole coming-out story with her son?”
“I think so. Actually, I did that too, but not in personal conversations, but rather by reading books and on the Internet. Much later I found out that there is also a kind of self-help group for parents of homosexual children in our area, but by then I no longer needed it. And I don't know if I could have brought myself to go to one of their meetings back then. Maybe a private conversation, yes, I think that would have been the best solution. But why do you ask?“
”I know a woman who thinks her son is gay. She's pretty confused and doesn't know how to deal with it, and her husband seems to be in a similar state. Could you possibly bring yourself to talk to them?”
“Danny, Danny, that's quite a request, isn't it? Is it someone I know?“
”No. These people just moved here. The guy goes to my class, and the mom is the new trainer I was talking about earlier.“
”And you talked to her about her son, about him probably being gay?”
“I didn't talk to her about it, she talked to me about it. She was quite surprised to meet me at the training, well, and then one thing led to another, and she more or less poured her heart out to me. I guess I was able to help her a little, but it would probably be better if she could talk to you too. So from mother to mother.”
“Well, okay, I actually have some making up to do because of the past. But tell me, if they're so new in the area, how did she know you? And how did she know you were gay?”
“Mom, I just told you that her son goes to my class. It's only logical that he told her about the famous Matthias incident at home. And she already knew me because we met yesterday after school when she picked up her son and his sister.”
“And now she would like to talk to me. I'm really not the best role model, but at least she can learn from me which mistakes she should avoid.“
”Come on, stop blaming yourself for the old stuff. I don't do it either. I never have, who knows how I would have reacted in your place.”
“All right, all right. So, how can I get in touch with the woman? Do you have a phone number for me?“
”Sh... moldy cheese! There had to be something I forgot. But I'll take care of it.“
”A memory like a sieve. It seems to me you're getting old, son.”
“Does that mean I'll be allowed to drive your car in the future? Am I finally old enough?“
”The law disagrees with that. And even if you are old enough in a few months, the car still won't be. But don't worry, as soon as you get your license, we'll find you a nice, cheap, ancient Golf. One with a few more dents won't be noticeable.”
“It's nice to finally know what I'm worth to you. Can I at least rely on the heating working?“
”I'm sure that can be arranged.“
”How generous.“
”I think so too.”
Before I could continue the banter, I heard the front door being unlocked, and shortly afterwards my brother and his father appeared in the kitchen, where all the events I had just described had taken place.
“Hello you two, here we are again.”
As if anyone could miss Reinhardt.
“Well, Tim, dry behind the ears again?“
”Of course. By the way, I brought you something.“
Oh, wonderful, I love little souvenirs.
”Come on, tell me! What is it?“
”A bucket of water.”
Help! The lad was becoming more and more self-confident every day, which was an extremely positive development on the one hand, but on the other hand, did I really have to be the victim?
"I actually thought you would know me better by now. A bucket of coal would have been more appropriate.”
“Sorry, but I really can't help you with that."
While I was teasing him, I greeted Reinhardt, then Tim and I went upstairs to our room. This ingenious move created space in the kitchen – and there was hope that my mother would take this as a hint regarding the dinner that needed to be prepared and that I was eagerly awaiting. And I was pretty sure that my brother was hungry too after his guaranteed exhausting training.
The rest of the day went by like so many school weeknights before. I “enjoyed” myself with the fortunately still manageable schoolwork, eventually supper was served, and relatively early Tim and I were in our beds. However, we couldn't fall asleep immediately, so I used the time to inform the unsuspecting heartbreaker that, without even knowing it, he had already turned a female head with his first appearance at his new school. Tim reacted rather incredulously to these revelations.
"Tell me, is any of what you're telling me true?”
“Indeed. By the way, that's exactly the new student I told you about on Monday. She immediately picked you out of the crowd. Not that I could blame her...“
”Thank you, thank you. I always like to hear compliments."
And by now he even believed them. What a change compared to the completely withdrawn guy from a few weeks ago.
“So? Now you've seen her with your own eyes. What does she look like?“
I grinned at Tim in the light of the bedside lamp. He blushed briefly and then grinned back.
”Sorry, I guess I asked you a pretty stupid question.“
”Not really, brother dear. I'm gay. Not blind.”
“Well then, don't keep me in suspense.“
”Hm, how do I put this best. Ah yes, I know: Veronica is to Philip what you are to me.“
”His little brother? Sorry, but as you know, I'm into girls.”
“Stupid! You know exactly what I mean! She's his little sister. And besides, good looks seem to run in their family.“
”That doesn't sound so bad. But to be honest, I have no idea if I want to start something so quickly with anyone.”
“I'll leave that entirely up to you. I just wanted to give you a little warning, who knows, not that you'll be completely surprised tomorrow. Maybe she'll pounce on you with wild war cries.“
”Well, hopefully not! So if she approaches it that way, she'll immediately blow it with me. Sorry, but I'm not into those kinds of assaults.”
“Well, then we'll both have to hope that dear Vroni exercises a little restraint.“
”It's obvious that I have to hope for that, but why do you?“
”Quite simply, if my brother and Philipp's sister fall out, it wouldn't be so good for my prospects with Flip.”
“Well, thank you for putting such a responsibility on me! Now I'll probably have to put a good face on the matter for your sake..."
Fortunately, a quick glance around the room showed me that Tim was grinning to himself and obviously didn't mean the comment that seriously. Still, I had to make that clear.
“Tim, I expect only one thing from you: do what you would like, what you would like for yourself. Please don't do anything you don't really want to do just because you think it would be better for me. Think about yourself for a change, okay?“
”If you say so. Should I at least try to find out if Flip is at all receptive to boys?”
“Don't worry about that, that's already in the works.“
”Oh yeah? What are the chances?“
”Definitely better than yours, kid. In terms of receptivity to boys, I mean.“
”Well then, knock on wood. I really hope it works out for you.”
“Me too. Well, I think we should try to get some sleep now. The alarm clock will ring earlier than we would like.“
”Okay. Well, good night.“
”Likewise.”
It didn't take long for me to fall asleep, this time probably even before Tim. And although it is said that we usually forget the content of our dreams, I am still quite sure what or rather whom I dreamt of. I think I don't need to say more about that, do I?
And another night that was much too short, a morning that was much too early, a way to school that was much too cold and a school that was much too boring. (Just to cut a long story short, it would be a shame to describe all of this every day, wouldn't it?) The only point in which the whole procedure differed from the already sufficiently chewed-over previous days was that on this memorable Thursday Tim set off for school with me to endure the lessons there for the first time in the regular way. And if anyone now thinks that I felt sorry for him – no way! Brotherly love didn't go that far!
The school building was once again characterized by being closed when we arrived. Great. Well, at least I now had the opportunity to show off my baby brother to my friends. Many of them already knew him from Katja's party, but there were still some who saw him for the first time. For example, Philipp, who looked at Tim a little suspiciously from top to bottom. A protective instinct towards his little sister? But that raised the question of who needed protecting from whom. So much for karate.
Nicole, who had only seen my little brother in the secretly taken photo that Thomas had cruelly distributed, grinned cheekily at me and whispered something in my half-frozen ear.
“Danny, now I can understand why you snuggled up to him like that in bed."
I could feel the blood rushing to my head once again, and a quick glance at Tim showed me that Nicole's whisper hadn't been as quiet as she had probably intended, because Tim was also blushing profusely.
I summoned up all my kindness and smiled at our little wannabe punk.
“Jealous?”
Nicole ran both hands through her dyed hair and gave my brother a suggestive look.
"Of course. With the right haircut and decent clothes, he could be something.”
“Don't let your Rocky hear that, otherwise he'll rip out your nose ring while fully conscious.“
”Ouch! You're right, I'd better hold back a bit."
Both Nicole and her friend Rocky (who actually had the name ‘Rudolf’, which was much too stuffy for his image, of course) were probably the two most striking students at our venerable educational institution. It started with the fact that they could drive any metal detector at the airport crazy. Pendants, rings, piercings – metal everywhere. I'd rather not even know where. Okay, I had really and seriously considered ear studs before, I actually liked the idea quite a bit. What I liked less was the idea that someone would have to pierce my delicate skin to put them in. But what about Nicole and Rocky? Ears, nose, eyebrows, tongue – Rocky had even given himself chest rings for Christmas! And there were still people who said that gays were perverse... When this strange couple wandered through the school corridors, it was easy to feel as if you were in a haunted castle – all the clanking of chains and everything.
Added to that was the hairstyle already briefly mentioned. Not only did the two look as if they had fallen into a painter's color palette with their heads – no, Rocky also had the habit of parting his hair very distinctly. In other words, one side of his head was shaved, while the hair on the other side grew so long that you could assume that they hadn't seen scissors in years.
The crowning glory of the “Gesamtkunstwerk Nicole and Rocky” was then the clothes, which usually looked like they had just been “borrowed” from the used clothing collection. Please don't get me wrong, the two of them were always very clean, but the combination of the garments was a pretty severe insult to any eye with an aesthetic touch. To make matters worse, Nicole showed significantly more bare skin than a gay teenager could have liked. I mean, sure, a straight guy might like to see half a naked girl's ass falling out of torn jeans in front of him – but how about a little consideration for me? The only thing that bothered me about this picture was the question of how Nicole could keep it up in the cold...
To close the circle of thoughts again: I could very well imagine that Tim was sent shivers down his spine at the idea that this girl could make a pass at him. Although it should be said that our two “colorful dogs” were in fact completely harmless and very reliable friends – even though they fit perfectly into the image of the types that parents always warn their children about. I had seen many a retired couple cross the street as a precaution when they spotted Nicole and Rocky on the sidewalk from a distance.
Meanwhile, the usual morning exchange of thoughts was underway, everyone chattering away as if it were the last time they would meet in this round. I took the opportunity to push my way to Flip.
“Good morning.“
”Likewise.“
”Say, did your sister say anything else about my brother yesterday?“
”I couldn't say, but she was walking around with a pretty dreamy look in her eyes.”
That, on the other hand, could well be a description of me. So dreamy that I let people who normally wouldn't last ten seconds against me beat me up during training.
“What do you think, should we try to get the two of them together?”
“And how?”
"Tim is here for the first time today and doesn't know his way around. We could put him in your sister's care.”
Philipp grinned at me.
“You old matchmaker. But I like the idea. Tim seems okay, and Veronica could use a little boost in her love life. But is your brother even interested?”
"That should become clear pretty quickly, but I wouldn't worry too much. Your sister looks good, and my brother is just a teenager driven by his hormones.”
“Okay, let's try it. How do we do that?“
”I'll grab Tim, and then the three of us will go to your sister's house together.“
”Agreed. But we should hurry, they'll probably unlock the school door soon.“
”Let's go, then.”
No sooner said than done. I grabbed Tim, who was just talking to Thomas, by the left arm and pulled him along with me.
“Hey, what's going on?”
"Just come with me, I want to introduce you to someone.”
With Tim in tow, I headed in the direction of Philipp's sister's morning class meeting, which my brother of course realized after a few steps.
“Where are you taking me?“
”Just trust me. Not that I want to get rid of you, but I think you should show yourself to your own future classmates. By the way, the girl in the red anorak is Veronica, and as far as I know she is very eager to meet you...”
Well, I had said something, hadn't I! Immediately, Tim began to increase his resistance and hissed at me.
“Are you crazy?”
The old adult saying occurred to me, “Even if you don't understand it today, one day you will be grateful to me,” but I just managed to stop myself from saying it out loud. However, Tim's efforts to break free were quickly doomed to failure, because a grinning Philipp now grabbed my brother's other arm, and together we pushed and pulled the still resisting master swimmer to our destination. There my co-conspirator took command.
“Hello everyone. This here is Tim, Danny's brother. He's going to be in your class from today on. Veronika, maybe you can take care of him a little."
What did I read from his sister's lips? ‘I hate you?’ Really, these kids! Did everyone really have to be pushed to their luck these days?
Now was the time for a tactical retreat, Flip and I let Tim off the hook and turned to leave. It was about time to enter the school anyway. As we were leaving, we heard the assembled team greet Tim, and when I looked around inconspicuously, I could see the two freshly-mated ones alternately looking at their feet and into each other's faces. I nudged my companion.
“Turn around carefully. It looks quite promising, doesn't it?”
Philipp followed my gaze and his face broke into a smile.
"Well, I'm curious to see if it will work out. They certainly make a handsome couple.”
I couldn't agree more. What I didn't know was that at that very moment, my best friend was thinking exactly the same thing about Philipp and me...
The first few lessons didn't leave me much time to think about potential couples of any kind. Somehow, all the teachers had suddenly decided that it was time to finally get down to some real work in the new year. Homework was handed out, class tests were threatened, bitter comments about a lack of study were made – my God, what had gotten into them? Was there a major inspection by the Minister of Education himself coming up? In any case, after a few hours everyone was spinning their heads. Wait, that's not right. Of course not everyone. Only those on the wrong side of the teacher's desk. Which, in a school, applies to the vast majority of those present. They, in turn, were not asked what their opinion was on the matter. It's strange, I always thought we lived in a democracy. Somehow I must have misunderstood something...
During the breaks, we rushed from room to room, almost the only topic of conversation was the actionism that had broken out among the teachers. I just managed to waste a few thoughts on Philipp (stupid choice of words, of course no thought was wasted on this dream guy) – I had long since stopped thinking about our little coupling action from earlier that morning.
All this continued during the lunch break, during which, however, our morning “deeds” made themselves impressively remembered. I had just started to tuck into a bratwurst and mashed potatoes when I felt an elbow in my ribs. Okay, I was eager to be touched by Flip, but it could have been a little more tender!
“Ow! What's wrong?“
”Look two tables over."
I did as I was told, and there sat our two younger siblings peacefully facing each other. That alone wouldn't have been anything special; after all, I had had no fears that the two would come to blows. But what I saw went a little further than mere mutual tolerance. The two had only eyes for their respective counterparts, they didn't seem to notice the world around them.
Meanwhile, Thomas had also noticed our glances and was also looking at Tim and Veronika with an open mouth.
"I don't believe it! I thought you were just having fun with them!”
“I thought more or less the same. But if it works out so well, I'm certainly not going to complain. I would definitely let Tim have it.“
”I have to get to the bottom of this right away. Would you please excuse me, okay?”
I really couldn't let that happen. Thomas would surely burst between the two in his inimitable way, and who knows whether the tender plant of affection between Tim and Veronika would survive that.
"You stay here and leave them both alone! They definitely don't need you right now.”
“Spoilsport. All right, then I'll just have to take care of your love life.“
”Don't you dare.“
”Oh, and what are you going to do about it?“
”I could, for example, file a written complaint with your Christine. What do you think she'll say about her lover scheming with his best friend?“
”You'd really tell on me to her?”
“All's fair in love and war.“
”Okay, okay, you've convinced me. I just can't be caught.“
”Uh, this may come as a surprise to you, but you're not exactly a master of subtlety. So don't get any stupid ideas, I'll find out anyway.”
That concluded the topic of love and amorous services for the time being, and we turned to other things. Shortly thereafter, we had to devote ourselves to such trivialities as lessons, and only about 48 hours later was the school day finally over, and I left the school building together with Thomas, Flip and a few others. My little brother was nowhere to be seen, and the same applied to Philipp's sister.
“So, what are we going to do with the day?“
”I don't know about you, Thomas, but I'm going to enjoy my homework. With a little luck, I'll be done sometime next week.“
”That's right, the teachers really seem to have lost their minds. But I'm only going to do what we need for tomorrow, the rest will be left for the weekend.”
“You just hope that others will have finished the stuff by then and let you copy it.“
”Shh! You have to give everything away! Now I probably don't have a chance with our new guy here either.“
”You never would have had a chance with me anyway, so don't blame Danny.”
How delightfully ambiguous and misleading Flip expressed himself. How could I understand that? Did I have a chance with him? However, all further musings in this direction were immediately dispelled, because suddenly a loud woman's voice drowned out all the conversations around us.
"Huhu! Danny! Daniel Thom! Here I am! Huhu!”
To quote one of my favorite classic crime series (hint: Higgins, Magnum):
Oh my God!!!
Without having to look around to find the source of the voice, I knew immediately who was calling for me. My father's sister. Aunt Helga. A very fitting name, by the way. If you know the comics “Hägar the Horrible”, you also know this character's wife. Helga, that's right – to whom the epithet “the Horrible” suited her better than it did her husband. Big, strong, loud – terror on two legs. However, as my father had always noted, she was a kind soul. I could never complain about her either; she always brought gifts and had great stories from her rather exciting life. What had always put me off her a bit was her somewhat chummy, boyish behavior, which I often had to “suffer” from.
It had been almost two years since I had last seen her. Neither my mother nor I knew where she had been during that time. Aunt Helga had married well and divorced even better. Okay, the guy had been a creep, but she had mercilessly fleeced him in the divorce. Well, at least there were no children who could have suffered. And no sooner had she divorced than Lady Luck proved that she was blind in both eyes and gave her a huge lottery win – she was one of the first to win big after the introduction of the jackpot system. As a result, she had plenty of money and even more free time, and she took advantage of both to the full. Sometimes she spent a whole year on a sheep farm in New Zealand, then again she spent months traveling through India to find herself. Poor Indians. Between these adventures, she used to delight us with unannounced, short but intense visits. Please don't get me wrong, I liked Aunt Helga, honestly, but I knew exactly what to expect now. I turned to Thomas quietly.
"Look, if she breaks my ribs this time, please call an ambulance.”
“I promise. My condolences.“
It was time to put on my broadest smile and face my fate, so I turned to Auntie and walked slowly towards her.
”Danny, there you are! Come here, my boy! God, you've grown so big!”
With these almost ritual words, she hugged me and held me close. Now I was even happy that she had turned up in the winter and not in the summer, so at least the thick clothes protected me a little from her bear hug. But only a little, and soon I had to gently but firmly extricate myself from her arms, otherwise I would have suffocated on the spot.
“Aunt Helga, please stop, you're going to crush me!“
”Oh come on, a real boy, oh, what am I saying: a real young man like you will endure the embrace of his old aunt!”
After all, an old aunt whom I trusted to take down a fighting bull with her bare hands. Fortunately, she finally seemed to hear my pleas and released me at least partially from her embrace, only to hold me with outstretched arms and subject me to an extensive inspection from top to bottom.
“Oh yes, you really have grown quite a bit. When I look at you – you take after your father. My brother would be so proud of you!“
”Thank you, Aunt Helga. But tell me, where did you come from all of a sudden?“
”From your mother, why?“
”That's not what I mean! Where have you been for the last two years?”
“Oh, I see. I was in Brazil, believe it or not!“
Why shouldn't I believe her? Anything was possible with Aunt Helga.
”So, where is this new nephew of mine?”
Ah yes, so she already knew the new family circumstances. But what did she think about the fact that her deceased brother had been “replaced” in a way? I looked her straight in the eye, but could see nothing except for barely concealed curiosity.
“He should actually show up here soon.”
"Well hopefully, I can't wait to meet him.”
That sounded very pleasant, I had been a little worried for a short time. Thomas and Philipp took advantage of this moment, in which I was finally completely free again next to “terrible Helga”, to say goodbye to me, and shortly afterwards I was alone with my aunt. But before I could squeeze a little more out of her about her Brazil story, I saw Tim coming out of the school – together with Veronika. This was actually starting to look pretty serious.
“There comes Tim.”
“Where? The boy in the black cap?”
"Exactly.”
In the meantime, the two had bridged the distance to our location, and before I could have warned Tim somehow, he received the same stormy greeting as me just a few minutes earlier. Unlike me, however, the poor guy had no idea what was happening to him: suddenly a huge woman, who towered over him by a good head, pounced on him and seemed to want to crush him. He gave me a half-shocked, half-questioning look, to which I could only respond with a helpless shrug of the shoulders. An “Aunt Helga greeting” was comparable to natural phenomena such as earthquakes and volcanic eruptions – just as powerful and just as unstoppable. You could only wait for it to end by itself – luckily for Tim, it didn't take quite as long for him as it did for me. This was probably due to Aunt Helga's curiosity, because now she subjected Tim to a much stricter scrutiny than she had me before.
"So, you're Tim. Let me take a look at you. Hm, not bad, not bad at all. Do you do sports?”
Still in a state of shock, Tim answered the question mechanically.
“I swim.”
“I thought so. And that, is that your girlfriend?”
Now my brother smiled in the direction of Veronica – and she smiled back.
"Ah yes, I see, you need not answer! Congratulations, you have good taste.”
Aunt Helga's attention was now fully focused on Veronica. Tim used this time to ask me about this “crazy woman” in a whisper.
“Danny, who the hell is that?!”
“That's our dear Aunt Helga, my father's sister.”
"Is she always like that?”
“Worse than that. You'll just have to get used to it, there's nothing you can do about her."
In the meantime, the examination of Philipp's sister had also been completed, obviously to the complete satisfaction of our aunt.
“Well, I hate to tear the young couple apart, but guys, we're supposed to pick up your mother and then meet Reinhardt at the café. So, Tim, say goodbye to your girl, and then get in the car with you both!”
We resigned ourselves to our fate, said goodbye to Veronika with a slight apology, and followed Aunt Helga to her car – a blue Range Rover. This car really suited her.
On the way home, Aunt Helga chatted about her return trip to Germany – she hadn't flown, but had traveled on a cargo ship as a passenger! Time passed quickly, we invited mom, and off we went to meet Reinhardt – the first meeting between him and his new sister-in-law. I was almost a little surprised at how relaxed she was about it. But maybe she had been thinking about the fact that my mother would not be alone forever.
We ended up in a small café and looked for a table. Reinhardt was not there yet – a customer appointment seemed to be keeping him busy. In retrospect, that was probably for the better. Aunt Helga's mouth was – as so often – unstoppable.
"Imagine, Maria, I had to snatch your Tim from the arms of his girlfriend! A pretty girl, by the way.”
Mom raised her eyebrows questioningly and smilingly. I felt really sorry for poor Tim, his love life was currently moving at an extremely overwhelming pace.
“Yes, yes, he's a real little Casanova. I'm sorry you had to let her go today because of me.”
"It's not that bad. Danny also had to let go of his Philipp.”
A plop, then a deathly silence. The plop came from the leather-bound menu that Aunt Helga had dropped at Tim's words.
“What are you saying?”
It should be clear from this that Aunt Helga was not one of those who had already been initiated into my homosexuality. That was exactly what Tim seemed to be realizing at that moment.
“Shit.“
”Maria, are you saying that your son is a fag?"
My mother looked over at me in torment, and I could see a questioning expression in her eyes. What should she answer? There was nothing left to hide, so I nodded slightly at her – with an extremely uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.
“No, Helga, that's to say that Danny's gay.“
”And you just say that? You know about it and just sit here quietly at the table with him?“
”Yes, and?”
Aunt Helga jumped up from the table, her head beet red, she almost had foam at the mouth. What a change in such a short time! I had never seen her like this before – and if someone had told me, I definitely wouldn't have believed it. It was so unlike the Aunt Helga I knew.
“It's a good thing my poor brother doesn't have to live to see this! His son a cocksucker! I would never have thought that of him – and I would have expected you, Maria, to do something about it! If my brother knew, he would turn over in his grave!"
With that, she had, however, upset my mother.
“He would indeed, Helga! He would be turning over in his grave! Not because of Danny, but because of your behavior here! How dare you insult your own nephew!“
”Ha! This nephew himself is an insult, an insult to our good name! And you... you stand there as if it's no big deal!”
“It's not. Not at all. It's just you who's trying to make a big deal out of it.“
”Well, great, now it's my fault that there are perverts in my own family! But just so you know: you're dead to me. All of you. Actually, I wanted to tell you when I came to visit that I... that I had appointed that fag as my sole heir, but that's obviously no longer an issue! First thing tomorrow I'm going to the notary and cancel the will. I'd rather donate everything to the animal protection society.”
“That, Helga, is your decision. My decision is to tell you that you are no longer welcome in our house. Just tell me where to send your luggage, and we never need to see each other again.“
”You can throw away the stuff, I don't want anything to do with things that were once in your... your gay brothel!”
Then she turned to Tim.
“Boy, I feel sorry for you. I just hope that perverse piece of filth doesn't infect you! Good luck, and farewell!”
With these words she stormed out of the café, almost running over Reinhardt, who was coming towards her.
The three of us at the table were stunned for a moment; no one moved, no one could utter a word. In the next moment, Reinhardt had already reached our silent group, completely perplexed and in the dark about what had just happened.
"Hello, the three of you. Did I just miss something important?”
Reinhardt's words broke our paralysis, and the next moment it was his son who jumped up without a word, knocking over his chair and storming towards the exit. This confused Reinhardt even more, of course, and he wanted to hurry after Tim. However, I had a pretty good idea why he had run away, and thought it would be better if I followed him.
“Let Mom tell you everything, I'll take care of Tim. I'll meet you at home, it may take a while. Bye.”
I got up, grabbed my jacket from the coat rack, along with Tim's, which he had completely forgotten, and ran (putting on my jacket) after my brother. At the same time, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that what was happening had attracted quite a bit of attention at our table, with everyone present looking at my figure as I rushed out.
Once I was on the street, I quickly looked in all directions. Hopefully the little one hadn't just run away blind to everything around him! But to my great relief, I saw him fifty meters further on, leaning against his father's car, head bowed, looking like a picture of misery. As fast as my feet could carry me, I went to him.
"Hey, Tim, are you okay?”
He raised his head and looked at me with tear-stained eyes.
"Just leave me alone! I don't know how you can stand me anyway. I ruin everything!”
Hm, that was what I would call a setback. Or better a relapse into behavior as I knew it from him when we met weeks ago. Now none of the self-confidence he had gained in the meantime was to be seen in him. Damn it, Aunt Helga, you have no idea what you've done!
I had a lot of work ahead of me to get Tim back on his feet. Sigh. Where should I start? But wait, first things first.
“Here, kid, put your jacket on first, you don't want to catch your death of cold here.”
"It might be better that way. A proper pneumonia, and no one will have to worry about my stupidity anymore.”
Okay, there wasn't much to be achieved with gentle words here, first I had to pull Tim out of his self-flagellation. I resorted to the strictest tone I could muster – something I really don't enjoy doing, but as the North Sea Indian says so aptly: Wat mut, dat mut.
"Put on your jacket! And then come with me.”
Tim was probably as surprised as I was to hear me use that tone, but that was just as well; at least he put on his jacket as if in a trance, and thus at least his physical health was no longer in such grave danger. It remained to be seen what the situation was regarding his mental health. When I saw that he was finished dressing, I set off through the snow that had started to fall in the meantime. At first I thought Tim would stop, but after a few steps he had caught up with me and was marching silently beside me. After we had crossed two streets, he asked a question.
"Where are we going?”
If only I knew. As much as I cared about Tim, I also had to take care of myself a little now. Sure, I had to help him deal with what had happened, but first I had to get my own thoughts back on track. This meeting with Aunt Helga had not gone at all as I had wished!
“I don't know. I need to think about it a little.“
”Okay, I'll shut up."
Hm, I must have sounded more dismissive than I had intended. But I wasn't in the mood to correct that right away.
So we wandered through the city for a quarter of an hour without exchanging another word, and while I tried to get a little order in my head, we slowly but surely found our way to the main train station in a wondrous way. Well, what you would call a main train station. The Leipzig example had actually ceased to be a train station some time ago due to a major renovation. Despite the many tracks, it was actually just a huge shopping center with a rail connection. At least not what I imagined a train station to be. In any case, there were some sources of food there, and that was just what I needed because I was starting to feel hungry. I led Tim to a bakery with an attached café.
“Choose something to eat and drink.”
"No, thanks, I don't feel like it right now.”
“Come on, if I eat alone and you just watch, I feel stupid.”
Five minutes later, we were sitting in the back corner of the café with huge cups of hot chocolate and various pieces of cake. I wolfed down my cake and took a big gulp from my mug. Then I leaned back and watched Tim listlessly poking at his cake. This was the right time for another deep sigh. Well, there was no point in waiting any longer.
“Tim, why did you run away so easily?"
Without looking at me, his gaze fixed on his plate, Tim replied in a dejected tone,
“Because I know you hate me now. You just have to hate me! Because I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, I outed you to your aunt. And now she wants nothing more to do with you, she even disinherited you! Damn it, I hate myself...”
“You shouldn't hate yourself. I don't either. Okay, I was annoyed with you. I mean, you know what just happened at school, you know that this is a topic where you should be a little more careful with your words, especially with people you don't know and have no idea whether they've been initiated yet. But...”
My counterpart wouldn't let me finish.
“You see, you say it yourself, I'm to blame for the whole disaster!”
“No, that's not what I'm saying, Tim. You triggered it, but it's not your fault. At least not entirely.”
"I don't get it.”
Oh, how should I best explain this to him?
"I'm to blame because I didn't tell Aunt Helga earlier. She is to blame for reacting completely irrationally. The blame lies with the intolerance that is still widespread. And there must be something else in Aunt Helga's past, because this reaction is so unlike her. Tim, the big bang would have happened sooner or later anyway, sooner rather than later, because I think I would have told her in the next few days in any case. I would have much preferred it if it had happened on my terms and not in the middle of a café in front of a crowd of strangers, but that can't be helped anymore. Your careless remark was just the last straw that made the barrel overflow. I really don't hate you because of that. Especially because I know that it just slipped out, I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't do anything on purpose that could hurt me.«
»I couldn't do that, never, you have to believe me!«
With an expression composed of equal parts hope and fear, my little brother looked at me across the table.
“I know, I believe you, Timmy.”
Before I knew it, he had jumped up, pushed his chair over to mine, and fell into my arms.
“Thanks, Danny, thanks! I was so afraid that you really didn't want anything to do with me anymore.“
”Don't worry, you'd have to do a lot worse than that."
I ruffled Tim's hair as best I could and held him tight until he freed himself from my embrace, presumably out of breath.
“Are you still angry with me, Danny?“
I looked at his face, which, with the exception of the traces of tears, looked almost as pretty as ever.
”Well. Just a little bit maybe. Right, now off to the toilet to wash your face.“
Tim smiled again! Thank God...
”But you should come with me.”
“Why, don't you dare to go alone?“
”Just come with me, I'll show you what I mean."
So we marched together to the place mentioned, and there I realized why I should accompany Tim. His face wasn't the only one showing the aftermath of crying; there were also traces of tears on mine. Not quite as fresh as Tim's, though, that must have happened completely unconsciously at some point along the way. We freshened up a bit, then returned to our table, where Tim now approached his cake with a completely different attitude!
“One more thing, Tim. Remember this once and for all. I could never hate you. Full stop. If I hate anyone around here, it's my ex-Aunt Helga.“
”Can I hate her too?“
”Whatever you like.”
“Okay. Then I hate her too. I was really scared when it exploded! I had just started to like her...“
”I always liked her too, but that came to a pretty sudden end."
A few minutes later, our plates and cups were empty, and we leaned back, reasonably satisfied.
“Danny, what do we do now? Are we going home?“
Interesting question. Actually, I didn't really feel like it yet. All that would be waiting for us there would be the next inevitable conversation on the subject.
”No. I'll show you an original Danny nerve-calming strategy now.“
”And what would that be?“
”Frustration shopping.”
“Frustration shopping?“
”Exactly. When I want to build myself up a little again, it helps me a lot to buy a few things that I've been holding back on for a long time. I create a little inner sense of achievement, so to speak.“
”Sounds good. What did you have in mind?”
“I don't know, but we have a huge selection of stores here. I'm sure I'll come across something. A few CDs, books or whatever. Agreed?“
”Sure! Come on, let's go!”
And so we spent the next hour browsing in all kinds of stores, and slowly but surely my shopping bag filled up as my wallet emptied. 2 CDs, a DVD, and two books. I would probably have to ask for an increase in my allowance, or at least for an advance...
Tim couldn't resist at the CD shelf either, and so little by little our mood improved a little more. Then it was time to make our way home. We had just found the right way to the tram stop when my brother stopped me.
"Danny, wait a minute, look, a new shop has opened here!”
Indeed, in one corner of the promenade, two shop windows had been decorated with huge signs advertising the new opening and enticing customers with special offers. However, was this the right time of year to open a T-shirt shop? I couldn't think about it for too long, because Tim was already pulling me into the shop with all his might.
The selection was gigantic. In addition to the vast number of ready-made T-shirts, you could also choose your own creations from catalogs and have them printed directly on
T-shirts. Tim browsed a rack full of dog motifs, and I plunged into the cotton paradise as well. Half an hour later, I had picked out a few things: a T-shirt showed a huge wolf head with bared fangs, a second one had some Native American tribal symbols, and the third one was designed for teachers, for example, who always said that dear Danny would be helpful to them at all times. This T-shirt showed two crossed M16 assault rifles, with the slogan “No more Mr. Nice Guy” in large letters. Would this message be received?
Tim also carried several hangers with T-shirts around, including one with a big dog's head and one with the inscription “Shit happens” – I'll refrain from describing the accompanying picture this time... Actually, I wanted to go to the checkout now, but Tim pulled me to one of the tables with the catalogs on display.
"Look, wouldn't this be something for you?”
He turned to a page and pointed to a motif. It showed a rainbow flag with the text “Thank God nobody knows I'm gay!”.
“Or would you prefer this one?”
I couldn't help grinning. It said “I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is”.
"Tim, the problem is that I don't have a boyfriend. Not yet, unfortunately.”
“Okay, then you get the other one.“
”Well, why?“
”As a small token of my apology. And don't say I don't have to make amends for anything. I don't want to have to, but I want to, okay?“
Someone seemed to be very determined. Well, I wouldn't spoil his fun.
”Okay. Thanks.”
Tim first grabbed a suitable white T-shirt and then a saleswoman.
“Could you please print the number 398 on this?”
"No problem!”
For the next few minutes, we watched the saleswoman as she searched for the right design, prepared the T-shirt and then printed it. When it was ready, she showed it to us for approval.
"Is it okay?”
We agreed and marched with our purchases to the checkout, put everything on the checkout counter and waited to be paid. At that moment, we heard someone behind us speaking quite loudly.
"All that's missing is those fags snogging in public!”
As if struck by lightning, we turned in the direction from which the words had come. A man around the age of forty, short, with thick glasses, extremely light hair and generally the prototype of a bureaucratic fart, looked at us with disgust, one arm hooked on a woman of the gray mouse type. Of course, the outcry had also drawn the attention of all bystanders to us – why did it have to happen today of all days!? I had just recovered somewhat after the Aunt Helga affair, and now this.
Now I could have used Thomas, who always had a casual saying on his tongue in such tense situations. But Tim was a good substitute. He smiled happily at the officer.
“Thanks for the good suggestion!"
The next moment, Tim turned to me, hugged me, whispered ‘Just play along!’ in my ear and then pressed his lips to mine! So I didn't need to act much! I leaned into him and decided to enjoy this event thoroughly. Tim was not driven by particular restraint, and soon his lips opened and his tongue demanded entry into my mouth. This went beyond my rational comprehension; I would never have thought that I would exchange my first French kiss with my avowedly heterosexual brother! But I definitely wouldn't complain either null
The whole “process” lasted maybe a minute (maybe only ten seconds, or maybe ten minutes, I lost all sense of time), and was over much too quickly for my taste. I saw stars, angels and who knows what else. Was that the sound of wedding bells in the distance? When Tim broke the kiss and then the embrace, I had a hard time coming down from cloud nine – but the ambient noise helped me to find my way back to reality. First of all, there was the trigger of the whole action, who stammered away with a bright red head.
“That... that's... well, what do you say to that! That's impossible! No morals anymore... today's youth... perverse..."
And so it would have gone on if he hadn't been drowned out by something else. By the applause of the other bystanders, interspersed with a few obviously approving whistles! Tim grinned happily and bowed (honestly, it was hard to tell what was going on with him, his moods changed constantly!), I myself must have presented a somewhat different sight. Most of my blood had gathered in my head at that moment – the rest, because of the kiss and the close embrace, in another part of my body...
The situation was resolved by the cashier telling us the price of our purchases. We paid and left the store, which I will remember forever. As soon as we were outside, Tim started laughing out loud.
"Haha, did you see the guy's face? He was so shocked, I thought he was going to drop dead!”
“Uh, to be honest, I was just as shocked.“
Tim immediately became serious.
”I hope I didn't do the wrong thing again. I somehow had the feeling that this was the right answer.“
”It was indeed! But believe me, I would never have dared to do it on my own. You never cease to amaze me.“
”Surprises make life interesting.”
He could say that out loud. We walked briskly to the tram stop and were lucky enough to catch the right line without having to wait. There were even two seats next to each other available! We had to put our shopping on our laps, though, but at least it was safe from unauthorized greedy hands.
"Danny...”
“Yes.“
”I just wanted to say... well... I still like girls. The kiss was great, but I hope I didn't give you false hope again.”
Ah yes. My brother had forestalled the question that was burning on my mind. Well, I wouldn't have been very surprised – even if it would have been nice if it had been an expression of his changed opinion. Too good to be true. I took the opportunity to admit to myself that I hadn't quite gotten over Tim as a potential “boyfriend” yet.
“It's okay. I'll take what I can get.“
I grinned at him, and Tim responded with a look of well-played indignation.
”Besides, I see it as practice for the real Mr. Right. Whoever that may be.”
I had some pretty definite ideas and hopes, but since I wanted to spare myself a disappointment like with Tim, I refrained from getting too carried away with the idea of the name Philipp...
When we arrived at our doorstep, almost three hours had passed since the incident in the café – and I had a certain idea of what would await us now. I had barely put the key into the lock of the front door when it was already being yanked open and my mother loomed in the doorframe.
"Daniel, you're finally here! Did you find Tim?”
I stepped aside a little so that she could see my little brother.
"Thank God, we were so worried! Come on, get in! Where have you been all this time? What have you been doing?”
A few hundred years ago, my mother could have easily accepted a job offer from the Spanish Inquisition. We pushed our way into the house, and Tim waved his shopping bags in front of the nose of the curious mother figure.
“We were shopping out of frustration!“
”Oh dear, this will certainly be expensive!“
With these words, Reinhardt also entered the stage.
”Come on, Maria, let the two of them into the house for now. You can always squeeze them out later.”
The addressed looked at him briefly, then nodded and disappeared in the direction of the living room. Reinhardt made a move to follow her, but turned around to us again.
"Guys, take off your warm clothes and then come to the living room. And bring your shopping with you, we want to know how you have fought your frustration and what it will cost us.”
Hm, that went better than I had expected. A man like that in the house, with a cool head, had its advantages. Especially when he took the wind out of the sails of an overprotective mother. Tim and I climbed the stairs to our room at a leisurely pace. Once at the top, we shed our thick winter clothes, took a quick refreshing shower and also took care of a few other things that would have been outrageously expensive at 1 euro each to take care of at the main train station. Then we went back downstairs. Our elderly hosts were sitting in the living room, waiting – some more, some less – for us to appear. One of them hardly gave us time to sit down comfortably on the couch.
"Daniel, Tim, are you all right? My God, where have you been all this time? Why didn't you get in touch?”
“Mom, I told you that I'm taking care of Tim. And I also told you that it might take longer. We're fine, nothing happened, we talked a lot and we cleared up everything that needed to be cleared up. Right, Tim?”
“Exactly. No need to worry. I'm sorry that I stormed off earlier, but I wasn't quite myself. Maria, I'm sorry that I made you quarrel with your sister-in-law. Do you think it will be okay?”
“I don't know. The way Helga behaved, I doubt it very much. I have no idea what got into her! But Tim, I don't blame you for this, and I hope my son doesn't either."
I shook my head negatively.
“Good. Anyway, I'm very glad that you're finally here and that you're okay. But couldn't you have at least called from the road? And Daniel, don't start with the cell phone again!“
”I'm sorry, our minds were elsewhere. Won't happen again.”
My mother sighed quietly but obviously relieved, and now Reinhardt, who had previously only been a spectator at the highly embarrassing interrogation, also joined the conversation.
"So, tell us what you've been up to all this time.”
We took turns to tell the story of the afternoon. When she learned that I had voluntarily trudged through the cold for twenty minutes, my mother furrowed her brow meaningfully. Both her face and Reinhardt's showed clear tension, which, however, was largely released during the report on the reconciliation between Tim and me. When we got to the topic of “frustration shopping,” it was Reinhardt again who interrupted the flow of speech.
“Then go ahead, guys, show us what you've been cheering up with.”
We spread out our purchases on the coffee table one by one, of course saving the T-shirts until last. Especially that one T-shirt... I noticed that Tim didn't mention the main event of the late afternoon in his story – so I refrained from going into it either. As much as I was inwardly tempted to brag about my very first French kiss null When I took out the last T-shirt, they were amazed at first, then laughed.
“Say, Danny, do you really want to wear that?“
Thank God! I was Danny again for my mother! The critical situation was finally put to rest.
”Sure. Everywhere. First thing tomorrow at school.“
The other three looked at me wide-eyed.
”Under the sweater.”
Understanding and a little relief spread. Then Reinhardt turned to his future wife.
"What do you think, Maria, the T-shirts are clothes, so they are one of the things we normally pay the boys for. Should we give them the money back for them?”
The woman addressed seemed to be in a generous mood, perhaps because she had got Tim and me back safely.
“Okay. What did you pay?”
We told her what each of us had spent, although I noticed that Tim didn't mention the reparation T-shirt.
"Good. Reinhardt, will you take care of the finances?”
And that's exactly what he did, and both Tim and I each got an extra ten in a moment when my mother wasn't looking. With this solemn act, the meeting was over, we packed up our things and wanted to leave. But when I was halfway out of the living room, my mother held me back.
“Danny, did you take care of the phone number of that mother? The one with the possibly gay son?“
I knew I had forgotten something there...
”Sorry, I didn't even think about that.“
”Luckily your head is firmly attached to your body, otherwise you would forget that too!”
Yes, yes, just scoff. Quite surprisingly, my brother now intervened.
“Maria, I have the phone number. Should I write it down for you?”
Mom was flabbergasted. She just nodded, and only when Tim had already written down the complete number on a piece of paper did she find her voice again.
"Tell me, Tim, where did you get the number?”
He didn't let this information be coaxed out of him, though, and disappeared nimbly out of reach of the interrogator. She, in turn, looked at me questioningly, but I just smiled knowingly back and followed my brother. I had a vague idea how he had gotten that phone number. When we got upstairs, Tim threw himself on his bed and let out an obviously relieved groan.
“Phew. That's over. I had imagined it to be worse. With accusations and house arrest or something.“
”Or with tickle punishment?“
”Or that...“
We both had to laugh.
”Seriously, Tim. The last time I was grounded was when I was thirteen.”
“So, what did you do then?“
”Okay, I'll tell you. Are you safe and sound? I don't want you to fall out of bed and break something. Good. My father was still alive back then. It was summer, and he had decided to finally teach me how to swim properly.“
”Very good idea.”
“Mom thought so too. I didn't think so. I begged and pleaded, but he had no pity for me. We were going on vacation to the North Sea a few weeks later, and I was supposed to be able to swim by then. My parents were afraid that something might happen to me otherwise – or that they wouldn't be able to keep their eyes off me for a moment. As if I would have voluntarily gone near the water!”
“I'm sure you did. How did you survive that vacation?“
”It didn't come to that. A week before the vacation started, my father crashed in a plane.“
”Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to open up old wounds.“
”It's okay, I brought it up myself. So, where was I going with all this talk?”
“You wanted to tell me why you were grounded back then.“
”Right. Well, I tried every possible way to get out of it, claiming that I was sick, that I had important schoolwork to do, etc., etc. It didn't help. So on the day it got serious, I packed everything you needed in my gym bag. Everything except the swimming trunks. The plan was to tell my father on the beach that I had unfortunately forgotten them, and thus force us to turn back.“
”And your father saw through you. That's what got you grounded in the first place.“
”Among other things.“
”Among other things? Were there other punishments?”
“Of course. The worst thing was that the plan didn't work at all. He just went a little further along the lake, away from the official beach, and made me an offer. Either two hours of naked swimming on the wild nudist beach, plus a week's house arrest for the stunt with the 'forgotten' swimming trunks, or off home and a house arrest until the summer holidays plus another two weeks in the holidays. And of course the next day would be the next attempt at swimming lessons, and he would make sure that I had no excuse this time.“
”What did you decide?“
”Guess. That was a good three weeks before the vacation, and I would have had to go in the water the next day anyway.“
”So you did without the swimming trunks.”
“Yep. The corner of the lake was relatively empty, and I survived.“
”And since then you've been a nudist fan.“
”God forbid! Never again, I'm really not that exhibitionistic.“
Even in my much-loved sauna, I was a big fan of the towel.
”We'll see...”
“Anyway. To change the subject: how did you suddenly get the phone number of the Steins?“
”Do I really still have to answer that question?“
”So can I assume that Flip and I's little conspiracy worked this morning? Are you a couple now?”
“Well, I wouldn't go that far yet. I think Veronica is nice, she's funny, intelligent, ...“
”... looks good...“
”Yes, that too, I admit it! But right now we're just friends. I like her, and I'd like to get to know her better. If and what comes of it, who knows.”
“Oh, I'm not worried about that, what girl could resist my little brother!“
”And what gay boy...“
”Exactly! By the way, I think you have to expect this topic to come up again today. After all, Mom found out about your latest special interest quite by the way before the big bang in the café.”
“I know, I was a little surprised that she didn't bring it up.“
”Maybe she didn't want to say anything in front of Reinhardt.“
”Do you think she hasn't told him yet?“
”I don't know. But don't worry, if she hasn't done it yet, I'll take care of it!“
”What? You want to betray me?”
“Well, revenge is blood sausage. Anyway, you have nothing to worry about. Your father will be more than happy that you've fallen for a girl.“
”Fine, fine. But let me tell it myself, okay? If Maria doesn't start on her own, I'll say something at dinner.“
”Agreed. I won't be that way.“
”Thanks.”
We spent the next hour doing our homework, but after everything that had happened that afternoon, I wasn't really paying attention. Well, if I got bad grades, there was still a little time to fix them if necessary. At some point, Thomas called and wanted to know how the afternoon with the aunts had gone. However, I didn't feel the need to go over everything again so quickly, so I just gave him a short version and promised to tell the rest when the opportunity arose.
Then it was time to start dinner, which, as usual, was celebrated in the kitchen. Mom reiterated that she was sorry for the way Aunt Helga had reacted, that she fully supported me, and that said aunt was a stupid cow.
“And, Danny, this is very important, you just have to believe me: no matter what Helga says, your father would be proud of you if he could see you today! And so am I.“
”Me too.“
”Count me in."
Okay, that's it, once again today a few tears were due.
“Thanks, guys.“
Before the situation could get too soap-operatic, my mother changed the subject.
”Tell me, Tim, what did Helga mean about having a girlfriend? This must be a brand new development, or are you just good at keeping it secret?”
“I haven't even told her yet, it's really very new. I only met her – her name is Veronica, by the way – at school this morning. I like her, but I don't know if she's my girlfriend yet. Maybe it's a bit too early to say.“
”Tell us, we want to know everything about her!”
And they always said women were curious! Reinhardt was hardly inferior to the fairer sex. Well, he was probably a little happy and relieved that his beloved Tim was not the other way around.
“All right, all right, I'll tell you! So, she's blonde, has gorgeous blue eyes, is as tall as me, the same age as me, has a great sense of humor, is athletic, and, by the way, is Philip's little sister.“
”Wait. Philip. That's the name that triggered everything today, isn't it? Danny, don't tell me you're in a relationship now, too?”
“I wish. Tim just wanted to make a little joke, he couldn't have known that it would backfire. By the way, Philipp is the one whose mother would like to talk to you sometime.“
”Well hey, and there you say 'I wish'! If she's right about her guess, then it could actually work out! Or don't you two like each other?”
“They like each other so much that they set Veronica and me up with each other this morning.“
”Little brother, you're not going to complain, are you? I thought you liked Vroni?“
”I do, but the situation was a little embarrassing.”
Meanwhile, my mother had put together everything she had heard.
“Ha, now I know why Tim had the phone number of Danny's new karate teacher! My God, these are entanglements like in politics.”
So it went on for a while, the mood was relaxed and I was getting better and better at pushing the events of the day into the background a little. After dinner, I retired to our room with Tim, we spent a while on the computer, and we ended the day by taking a shower (separately) quite early. I don't need to tell you that I couldn't fall asleep for a long time afterwards; in any case, I didn't get more than four or five hours of sleep that night. Fortunately, the weekend was just around the corner.
Finally Friday. So if a fairy godmother were to come across me and grant me a few wishes, one of them would definitely be the reversal of the poorly chosen ratio between weekdays and weekends. I mean, it would be much more pleasant the other way around, wouldn't it? With a five-day weekend, I would be willing to talk about two school days.
It took Tim and me quite a while to get going after the less than restful night, but eventually we found ourselves at the Knowledge Inculcation Institute. There we went our separate ways, and whenever we met during the breaks, I noticed that where there was Tim, Veronica could not be far behind. And vice versa. What did Tim say? Just friends? Of course. And soon I'll start believing in Santa Claus again.
And me? Who was always to be found near me? Philipp! However, not Philipp alone. Somehow there was no opportunity to separate him from the group and have him just for me – well, I was probably just too cowardly to simply create such an opportunity. In any case, there were always at least three of us, and our conversations revolved around the normal topics of a school day.
After school, we stopped briefly at the gate. Thomas looked at us.
“So, what are you planning to do today?”
"I'm going to the movies with Kevy later. I promised him I'd take him to see the new Disney cartoon. Anyone want to come?”
I would have liked to do something with Flip, but the prospect of sitting in a movie theater with a bunch of little kids put me off. Besides, I had some homework left over from the day before that I actually wanted to get done before the real weekend.
“Sorry, no time. Thomas?”
"I don't know yet, my youngest sister really wants to see the movie too. When do you want to go?”
“At the four o'clock showing. I'll pick up Kevy straight from kindergarten and then take him to the movies from there.“
”When do you have to leave home?“
”Just after three.“
”Okay, give me your phone number. If I come with my sister, I'll call you in time, okay?”
“Agreed. I'd be glad if you came with me, so I'm not alone with a bunch of Minis.“
Philipp gave Thomas a kind of business card with his phone number.
”Danny, do you want Philipp's phone number too?“
There was someone interfering in my love life again. Flip looked at me expectantly.
”Thanks, but I don't need it, I already have it.”
“How? I haven't given it to you yet, have I?“
”Your sister gave it to my brother, and that's how I already know it.“
”It really looks serious with the two of them, doesn't it?"
Our younger siblings had an undeserved one-hour less than we did and were therefore already at home.
“I think so, even though Tim said yesterday that they were just friends at the moment. For now, anyway.”
We congratulated each other a little on our obviously successful matchmaking, then Flip said goodbye and set off for home. And I, too, set off for home together with Thomas. After we had walked a few meters, Thomas asked the question I had been waiting for all day.
“So, now tell me what happened with your aunt yesterday. You were pretty secretive on the phone. Did something bad happen?”
I sighed. Again, the events that had been so laboriously pushed into the background were brought to the fore. I spent the rest of the way home telling Thomas everything in great detail – in almost great detail. I also kept the kiss between Tim and me secret from him. No idea why, actually we had no secrets from each other.
Thomas was very sympathetic, and also very surprised at the turn that Aunt Helga had taken. He too had seen her several times in the past years in full, at that time still peaceful action.
Then it was time for us to separate. We agreed that I would call Thomas on Saturday, then we went our own ways.
When I arrived home, I just caught Tim, who was on his way to meet Vroni for ice skating.
"Dad knows. He left a few minutes ago to see a customer and won't be back until around six. And Maria called, too; she's meeting Vroni's mother. So, I'm off.”
“Okay, beat it, or your little girlfriend will have to wait for you."
Tim gave me a grimly amused look, then left. I allowed myself a little refreshment, then took care of a few e-mails, and when it could no longer be delayed, I ‘enjoyed’ a bit of chemistry homework. This activity was so “engaging” that I forgot about time a little, and was only startled by the sound of the doorbell at the front door. A quick glance at the clock: a quarter to five. I dashed down the stairs (hey, it could be a mail carrier after all! null and opened the front door. What I found there, however, was even better than a money carrier.
“Hi Flip! What are you doing here? Come in!”
Something didn't seem quite right. Actually, he should be sitting in the movie theater with Kevy right now. But no, he pushed past me into the house.
"Kevin, come here already!”
Ah yes, so that question was answered too. The aforementioned whippersnapper also pushed his way into the house. Since I had no idea what to do with this situation, I did what seemed wisest to me. I closed the front door, took my guests' jackets and led them to my room. There Kevin immediately pounced on my computer, which I had fortunately temporarily weaned of the telltale screensaver.
“Great! Can I play?"
I looked at Philipp, who looked back, and in his eyes I thought I saw both anger and despair. He still didn't say a word – maybe he didn't want to talk about what was bothering him in front of his brother. I shrugged and started a suitable game. At that moment, I noticed something.
“Say, Philipp, the pen is completely soaked! What did he do?“
”He was constantly romping around in the snow on the way here. Is it really that bad?“
”Absolutely! And unfortunately I can't help you with dry clothes in his size.”
“Damn. If Kevy gets a cold, I'll be in trouble. It was a stupid idea to come here, we'd better get back home.“
”That would be a stupid idea too, he can't go back out into the cold in those wet clothes.“
”And what should I do now?”
Although Philipp was genuinely concerned about his little brother, there was an undertone to his voice, a nuance in his behavior that I didn't like at all. Something was very wrong here. But first things first.
“We'll put him in the bathtub, in the meantime we'll throw his clothes in the dryer.”
"Okay. Thanks.”
“You're welcome. Come on, you have to help me in the bathroom."
Which, of course, was not true, but it would give us the opportunity to talk in private. I pushed Philipp into the bathroom, followed him and closed the door behind us. Kevin, meanwhile, was so absorbed in his computer game that he didn't even notice the ruckus that was being made about him. Next, I turned on the water in the tub, poured in some bubble bath, and then came the moment of truth.
"So, now tell me what's going on here! Shouldn't you be at the movies?”
“As if you didn't know! You were counting on this, and if the screening hadn't been canceled for technical reasons, I would never have found out about it!“
Did I have to mention that I was completely in the dark? I had no idea what Flip was getting at.
”Damn it, don't speak in riddles! What do you mean?”
“Don't act like that. I'm just starting to come to terms with myself, with which, by the way, you've helped a lot, and then this! Did you have to send your mother to ask my parents about me? I would never have expected that from you! I thought you were my friend, I wanted to talk to you soon anyway, I was about to tell you everything. That I'm gay. That I like you. And now you've destroyed everything! I hate you!"
Oh shit! It seemed like a lot had gone completely wrong. That's what you get for wanting to help.
“Philipp, listen, there must be a huge misunderstanding. For now, just this: I didn't send my mother, you have to believe me! But now it's your brother's turn, the tub is full. Will you get him?“
”Okay."
He left me alone with my ruminations, and I tried to organize my thoughts. Somehow I had to clear all this up and get back on track. Actually, this could have been the happiest moment of my life, I mean, my dream guy had just told me that he likes me! That was exactly what I had always hoped for. But all that was now completely up in the air, and the next few minutes would decide a lot for my future.
The door opened and Philipp carried his brother, already in his birthday suit, in.
“Well, Kevy, ready for your bath?”
“My name is Kevin!”
Oops, we've been through this before, haven't we?
“Okay, okay. Are you ready for your bath, Kevin?”
“Yes!”
"Well, get in then!”
Flip carefully placed the cooled-down bundle of energy in the water, where an enormous splashing session immediately began.
“Philipp, can we leave him alone for a few minutes?”
“If you don't mind a flood in the bathroom...”
“It won't be that bad. Come on. And Kevin?”
"Yes?”
“Have a little pity, don't mess around too much, okay?“
”Okay!"
We left the bathroom, I grabbed the soaked clothes of Philipp's brother and went with him in tow to the large bathroom on the ground floor, where all the washing machines were. The clothes went into the dryer, I turned it on, then I turned back to Philipp.
“So, now tell me from your point of view what happened and what made you so angry at me.“
”All right, you don't want it any other way. I already told you that the movie was canceled. So we went back home, and who do you think we found there? A certain Ms. Thom was sitting in my parents' living room. At least that's what I was able to deduce from what I overheard. And what were they talking about? About me. And what exactly? About the fact that I'm probably gay. Wonderful. How dare you send your mother to interrogate my parents about me!“
”I didn't send her for that reason!”
“Not for that reason! So you admit that you sent her! Then for what reason?“
”Okay, one thing at a time. You know that I train in karate?“
”Yes.”
“Good. Then imagine how surprised I was when your mother suddenly ran into me there. I was supposed to show her around, which I did, and then...“
”Then what?“
”Then she approached me about you. You see, she approached me.“
”Why?”
“She was worried about you, and so was your father, by the way. She said that you had changed a lot over a long period of time, and somehow she came up with the idea that maybe you were gay. Well, and she knew about me through you, so I guess she thought I would be the ideal person to get information from.”
Flip had to digest that first. He stared at me, and you could literally see how it worked in his head.
"And how does your mother come into play?”
“Your mother asked me how my mother reacted to me being gay. I told her, and then she asked if I could possibly persuade her to talk to her and your father about the subject. Just in case her suspicions were actually true. So I stirred that up, and that's exactly what I meant by sending her!”
“To be honest? You didn't send her to get information about me?”
“Flip, what information? Your parents don't know anything themselves yet! They just wanted a few tips on how to act if you are gay and you tell them at some point. And if you really want to know: I told your mother that they should leave you alone in that regard, that you will come to them on your own when you are ready.”
Poor Philipp. He had everything so nicely and precisely figured out, and now he had to hear that he was completely wrong. A few minutes ago his face was red with anger, now it was white as chalk. He had a lot to process at once. It took him several attempts to get his words out clearly again.
"I guess I made a complete fool of myself, didn't I?”
“Well, you just drew the wrong conclusions from the available data. But at least you gave me the opportunity to clear everything up. So, I think we should go see what your brother is up to in the bathroom.“
”You're not angry with me?“
”I'm a little sad. That you really thought I was capable of all the things you put together.”
“I'm sorry, really. It just all fit so well. Can you forgive me again?“
Funny, I've been hearing that question a lot lately.
”It depends.“
”On what?“
”Whether you really mean what you said at the beginning.“
”What?”
“That you like me...“
For a long moment, Philipp looked at me penetratingly.
”Danny, if I didn't, then this alleged breach of trust wouldn't have bothered me so much.“
”Was that a 'yes'?“
”Stupid, of course!“
”I think that under these circumstances, I can forgive you one last time.”
We looked deep into each other's eyes, and then...
“My God, now finally kiss each other and make up! How long am I supposed to stand here and wait for you to finally get it together!”
Flip and I literally jumped up, and any romance that might have been in the air just then was gone in an instant.
“Tim! What are you doing here? How long have you been listening to us?“
”Long enough to have realized that you both like each other. So make something of it. And what am I doing here? Yes, how long should Vroni and I still be whizzing across the ice, it's already half past five!”
He was right about that, time had passed quite quickly during the clarification of the whole mess.
“By the way, Philipp, your sister is upstairs. How surprised do you think she was when we followed the noises from the bathroom and found her little brother splashing around happily?”
"Damn, we completely forgot about him!”
“Well, he seemed to be enjoying it. But I think you'll have to explain a few things to Vroni. And I'd also like to know exactly what happened here."
It really was time for us to go back upstairs. Kevin's clothes weren't quite dry yet, though, so we'd have to find another solution for him for now.
“Let's go. Kevin will get some robe or something for the time being.“
We set off, but on the way I remembered something else.
”Tell me, Philipp, does your sister know that you're gay?“
”Yes, she's the only one.“
He chuckled softly to himself.
”Well, not anymore, I guess. But Kevin has no idea, of course.”
“So no smooching in front of the little one, you two."
Ah yes. Now Tim suddenly played the big brother. But we couldn't discuss it any further, because at that moment we had reached our room. Once there, we saw Veronika, who had just come out of the bathroom with Kevin, the boy wrapped in a large bath towel. Before we could say anything, she gave us a lecture that we would probably remember for a long time. It was all about irresponsibility, etc.
"Typical boys. You chat and completely forget that there's a little kid sitting alone in the tub. God knows what could have happened!”
It went on like this for a while until Philipp finally took advantage of a short pause in his sister's monologue to get a word in edgewise.
“That's enough, Veronica. OK, we may have been gone a little too long, but Kevy takes baths at home alone, too!”
That took the wind out of her sails a little, but she still didn't give up so quickly.
“Yes, at home. But this is a completely strange house.“
”All right, all right, won't happen again. After all, nothing happened.“
”You were really lucky. So, what about Kevy's clothes?“
”They're not quite dry yet, it might take another twenty minutes.”
“Why are his clothes wet? Oh well. Do you have anything for him to wear? Come on, hurry up.“
Help, dictator alert! I took a look in the wardrobe, but of course there was nothing in such a small size. Finally, I grabbed a warm sweatshirt and gave it to Veronika.
”Here, will this do?”
She took a quick look at the shirt, nodded and then pulled it over her little brother's head. Of course, it was more like a floor-length dress for him, but at least he was warm again. It would do for the few minutes until his own clothes were dry again. Veronica didn't consider her appearance over yet, though.
"Say, Philip, what are you two doing here, anyway?”
“That's a long story that started with the movie being canceled at the theater. I'll tell you the rest later, okay?"
She looked first at Flip, then at me, saw our slightly embarrassed grins, looked at Flip again, and finally the corners of her mouth twitched slightly upwards as well.
“I see. Okay. But you can count on me to grill you for all the details later!“
I could vividly imagine that. Was this predisposition to interrogating actually anchored somewhere in the female genetic makeup? But now I also had a question for Philipp.
”Flip, how did you actually know where I live?”
Now he was clearly slightly amused.
"A certain Veronika asked me today where Bahrunstraße was, and when I asked her why she wanted to know, she mumbled something about a Tim who lived there. Danny, do you know any Tim from Bahrunstraße?”
Now the other two were left standing around looking a bit embarrassed. What Philipp and I were spared, Veronica and Tim now had to endure. Kevin, who had so far kept quiet about everything, now spoke up.
“Vroni loves Tim! Vroni loves Tim! Vroni loves...”
"That's enough, Kevy!”
“Kevin!“
”Yes, yes, all right."
Someone had probably hit the nail on the head. I briefly considered teasing them a little more about it, but then I realized that it probably wouldn't be such a good idea. Fittingly, we heard the front door being unlocked downstairs at that moment. Shortly thereafter, my mother appeared in the room.
“Well? What kind of gathering is this? Who are you all?“
”I'm Kevin!“
”I see. And who is Kevin?“
”Mom, this is Veronica, Philip and their little brother Kevin.“
”I see, the famous Veronica.“
”And the famous Philip.”
After he had said that, Flip looked at the floor and shifted from one foot to the other. My mother looked at him, then at me, I nodded slightly and she understood that something had happened.
“Tim, could you go downstairs to the living room with Veronica and Kevin?“
Tim shrugged his shoulders, and so did Philipp's sister, then they actually left the room, closing the door behind them. But before they did, I called after them.
”Tim, Kevin's clothes should be dry soon, so take a look.”
Then they had disappeared, and mom took command.
“So, you two. If I had expected anything, it certainly wasn't to find you here, Philipp. So tell me all about it.”
She sat down on one of the desk chairs, while Philipp and I took over my bed. We looked at each other, then he began to tell the story of the afternoon...
“Well, it started with the fact that the movie visit with Kevy fell through...“
And so it went on. When he got to the part where he became an unwanted and involuntary witness to parental conversations, it was time for my mother to turn pale.
”I don't believe it. How much did you overhear?”
“Enough. At least I thought so. It wasn't until I'd stepped into just about every possible trap at Danny's that it turned out I hadn't heard enough.“
”Ah yes. Now I suppose we'll get the explanation for the fact that half of the Stein family is meeting here. Come on, let's move on.”
So Philip continued with his story. The next interruption occurred when he was telling how he had berated me for my misdeeds. This time, however, my mother was less shocked than amused.
"Ha, and I suppose my poor son looked like a drowned rat.”
“Mom, it wasn't that funny! I still had the wonderful world of chemistry on my mind, and suddenly I found myself in the middle of such a drama.“
Philipp jumped off the bed and knelt on the floor in front of me.
”Sorry, sorry, sorry – Danny, how many times do I have to apologize to you?“
”It's okay, all forgiven and forgotten. Rise.”
A short time later, Flip was sitting on the bed next to me again, and this time much closer than before. Which, of course, did not escape my mother.
“Tell me... Why do I have the feeling that there is still some crucial point missing from the report? Could it be that you have something else to tell me?”
Could it be? Probably. In any case, so far, Philipp had not mentioned anything about the things that were most important to me. Like being gay and liking me. The question now was whether he was willing to come clean about it. I'd rather hold back on that part for now. The foot in his mouth Flip had stepped into earlier was probably still standing somewhere in the area, waiting for a new victim.
"Uh... Ms. Thom...”
“Stop! Philipp, the same applies to you as to Danny. You don't have to tell me anything. I'll just forget about my curiosity and leave you alone.“
Philipp stared thoughtfully for a moment, then seemed to have made a decision.
”So my parents think I'm gay?“
”Well, they certainly think it's a plausible explanation for your behavior lately.”
Flip let out a small sigh.
“It's true. I'm gay.”
“Thanks, Philipp.”
“Huh? Thanks? For what?”
“For trusting me enough to tell me that.”
"Well, I have a hunch that there wasn't much more to tell, was there?”
“I think it still took a lot of effort on your part.“
”Yes. Uh, Ms. Thom, since I only heard way too little of your conversation with my parents: what can I expect from it?“
”Oh, boy, I think you have nothing to worry about at all! We sat and talked for quite a while. Your parents seem very nice, and they were genuinely interested in the things I had to tell them. If you tell them – and I assume you're asking me because you want to tell them – it will take them a while to get used to it, but they will still love you just as much as before.”
“You really think my parents will be okay with it?“
”Absolutely. Otherwise they wouldn't have bothered to talk to Danny and then to me.”
An extremely relieved Philipp let himself sink back into the feather bed next to me. Well, and I was also relieved, admittedly. After all, this meant that I could hope for a harmonious relationship with my potential in-laws. If Flip actually wanted to go out with me, as they say.
“There's something else, Mrs. Thom. Something I haven't told Danny either.“
Now I was curious.
”Danny, I told you that I like you.“
Did you?
”That doesn't quite cover it. I've fallen in love with you!” There, now it's out!”
Indeed. It was out. And even though that was exactly what I had wanted to hear, even though I was supposed to confess my love for him now, even though I was supposed to throw my arms around him – I didn't do anything. I couldn't even manage to get a single word out, let alone do anything else. I just sat there staring at Philipp with wide-open eyes...
I have no idea how long this lasted, but in the end my mother finally tore me out of my stupor.
"Danny. Danny! Daniel Thom! Wake up! I think Philipp would like an answer!”
“What... what... uh... yes! Flip, are you serious? Really?“
”Absolutely.“
Luckily, this answer didn't send me into another stupor, and I finally managed to produce an appropriate reaction.
”Flip, I fell in love with you, too. Right on the first day I ran into you.”
The next moment we were in each other's arms, and all tension fell away from me. This was what I had dreamed of for so long. How often had I hoped for it, and how often had I been disappointed. It all seemed to have come to an end now, a very happy end.
"Philipp, does that mean we're together now?”
“Yes. If you want me...“
”Fool, of course I want you! You and no other!“
”Ahem, guys, I'm very sorry to interrupt you, but I think it's time we went back to the others. Kevin must also want to go home, right?”
That was true, though; time had mercilessly passed. One thing still needed to be clarified, though.
“Philipp, should we tell anyone?”
I know. It's terribly rational and unromantic in such a wonderful situation. But we had to face the realities...
“That we're together?”
"Exactly that. I'll go along with you on this one.”
“I... I think Tim already knows anyway. And I've always told Veronica everything so far. So we might as well tell them too.“
”But what about your brother? He probably won't understand what it's all about yet, but what if he lets slip something to your parents?”
“You're right, Kevy wouldn't understand it anyway, so there's no point in telling him directly. If he asks, we'll see. And as for my parents... I think I'll tell them. Today.“
”Are you sure? That's a big step!“
”I know. But I want to get it over with at last. After all, your mother brought good news...”
“Okay. If you really want to. Do you want me to come with you?“
Philipp thought about it for a moment.
”No. I'll be fine. But thanks for the offer.“
”Okay. Will you call me afterwards? I'd like to know how it went.“
”I promise. But right now we should really go see the others.”
So we made our way downstairs, where the rest of the group was already waiting for us. Kevin was back in his own clothes, and his sister had already put aside the thick jackets.
"There you are. Philipp, we have to go, otherwise our parents will start to worry.”
“Okay, I'm ready too. Let's go."
While Philipp put on his jacket, we both couldn't take our eyes off each other. Somehow I had the feeling that we would hardly be able to keep our newfound relationship a secret. The questioning looks from Flip's sister confirmed my suspicion.
The three “stones” said goodbye and set off on their way home, and I kept looking after them for a while. When I came back to the kitchen, both mom and Tim were grinning happily at me.
“Happy Birthday!”
And that in stereo... But I think the congratulations were really appropriate.
"Thanks, thanks, don't be jealous.”
“Why should we be jealous? Tim has his Veronika, and I have Reinhardt. All family members under the hood – what more could you expect?“
She was right about that.
”I see that right. I mean, with Danny I know that he and Philipp are a couple. And with you, Tim, it's serious too. Right?”
My little brother blushed slightly, then nodded.
“Well, that's great. So, guys, let's go to the living room. I think it's time for a bottle of sparkling wine.”
Well, that was a completely new tone! It seemed to be a very special day for mom, she only resorted to such measures on very special occasions.
“And what about your sweetheart? Shouldn't we wait for him?“
”Don't worry, he'll show up when the bottle is open at the latest. But... uh, I forgot to mention... Tim, you already know, more or less. But Danny, would you like to tell him that you are also taken? He would definitely be happy for you."
I didn't need to think about it for long.
“I want to tell him.“
”Well then, everything's fine. Danny, will you take care of the glasses?”
“Okay.“
We went into the living room, where I took out the best champagne glasses we had in the house. Shortly afterwards, Mom appeared with the opened bottle. And no sooner had the first glass been poured than the front door opened and Reinhardt walked in.
”I'm back!“
”Take your coat off and come into the living room, we have something to celebrate!”
While he was taking off his coat, Mutti poured the rest of the glasses, and just as she finished, Reinhardt marched into the room.
“Champagne? On a Friday? What's going on here?”
We left it to Mutti to tell her dearest the reasons for the festivities.
"Reinhardt, our big boy is in love!”
Tim's father looked at me.
“Successful or hopeless?”
Before I could answer, he continued.
“I can see from your radiant face that the answer is clear. And who is the lucky one?”
“Philipp.”
Reinhardt furrowed his forehead a little.
“Philipp? I seem to have heard that name before... Isn't that the boy whose parents you were going to see today, Maria?“
”Exactly the same. There was a bit of a mix-up. But in the end everything turned out all right.“
”Well then: congratulations!“
”Thank you."
Now Reinhardt wanted to reach for his glass, but Mutti stopped him.
“Just a moment, sir! That was only half the story.“
”Really? More celebrating – all in one day?“
”Well, what was already apparent yesterday was confirmed today. Our little one is also in a relationship.“
”Oh? The Veronika that was mentioned yesterday?”
Reinhardt's reaction was logically less surprised than when I had told him the news, but still very pleased.
“Yes, Pops.”
“Well, that's news... Well then, of course I congratulate you too, Tim!”
"Thanks, Pops!”
I had watched Reinhardt very closely during this exchange. I wanted to see his reaction to the final confirmation that his beloved Tim was with a girl, and that his questions and possible fears about Tim's sexual orientation had been laid to rest. I expected a little relief, no matter how much he accepted me, after all, this was his biological son. But no. All I saw was open, honest joy, and when Reinhardt turned back to me, I could see that this joy was directed at me as well as at Tim. This really was a day for celebration!
"So, how is it now, can we toast, or are there a few more such pieces of news to announce?”
“No, Reinhardt, that's it for now. That's enough for now, isn't it?"
We could only agree with that, and shortly afterwards our glasses clinked together. Then we sat down in the couch corner, and in turns, each told the story of what the others had not experienced themselves. Of course, that took some time, and I was slowly getting a little restless. How had Flip fared in the meantime? Had he told his parents everything yet? How had they reacted to the news? In the long run, this increasing nervousness did not go unnoticed.
“Danny, what is it, why are you so restless?”
"Why doesn't Philipp call? He wanted to tell me immediately how it went at home.”
“Don't worry, Danny, don't worry. It'll be fine, believe me. It just takes time, there's a lot to talk about.“
”Do you think so, Mom?“
”Sure. Just wait, he'll call you later. And we'll eat first.”
Not a bad idea. The growling of my stomach had now joined the buzzing in my skull from the events of the afternoon. We went into the kitchen, where we soon put some fresh rolls with sausage and cheese to their intended use.
“By the way, I spoke to Ludwig on the phone today. It wasn't that easy to get his phone number, but in the end I managed it."
Ludwig, Ludwig... Which Ludwig? I rummaged through my memories, but came up empty-handed. Tim and Reinhardt were also at a loss, which luckily Mom noticed.
“Uncle Ludwig. Helga's ex-husband.“
Now it clicked with me. Uncle Ludwig, the rich guy Helga had been married to for a short time.
”I wanted to know if he knew any reason why Helga freaked out like that.“
”And?"
Reinhardt asked the question that was on the tip of all our tongues.
“At first he was very dismissive and didn't want to give anything away. But I realized that he had to know something, so I kept digging. And then he unloaded. Danny, do you actually know why they got divorced back then?“
”Not exactly. Wasn't there something about him cheating on her?”
“Exactly. She basically caught him red-handed. And here's the kicker: with a man!“
Three jaws dropped and hit the table.
”Well, Ludwig is bisexual and has had a lover for ages. He married Helga because it looked better for social reasons.”
That explained a lot, if not everything. She had had an extremely bad experience with “one of us,” and then applied it to everyone else. I could understand her shock, but not what she had built up from it and how she had treated me, her own nephew. And Mutti, of course. I was pretty sure that I would never be able to forgive her for that. And I didn't think she would ever change her own attitude either. The chapter “Aunt Helga” was more or less closed for me.
I refrained from commenting on this news, I didn't want to hear or think about it anymore.
I didn't need to, because at that moment the phone rang, and I broke all short-distance world records in my sprint to the device lying in the living room.
“Flip?!”
“Uh, yes, that's me. Danny?”
“Right.”
"You have a funny way of answering the phone.”
Now that he said it...
“Sorry, I've just been waiting for your call all this time.”
“That's okay. I'm sorry it took so long, we had a lot to talk about.”
“Well? Come on, how did it go?”
"You're pretty impatient! Could it be that you were even more nervous than I was?”
“Maybe. And if you don't start talking soon, I'll come crawling through the line myself and tickle the story out of you!”
“That sounds more like a promise than a threat to me. But okay, I won't be difficult. Everything went great. My parents took it pretty easy, they were surprised that I told them so quickly, but I guess being gay didn't shock them that much anymore."
A huge weight was lifted from my mind. The first part of Philip's big confession went well.
“It will take them a while to get used to it, but they told me that the most important thing for them is that I'm happy.“
Well, what more could you ask for!
”Great, I'm happy for you!”
“And me too. I was a bit worried. But your mom did a really good job. Can you give her my regards? Both from me and from my parents? And our thanks?“
”Sure, she'll be glad to hear that everything went well.“
”Well, and then I told my folks that I'm with you.”
“And?“ ‘Come on, don't keep me in suspense!’
”What could be? I'll never be allowed to see you again, I'll have to change schools, and if you're ever seen near me, my parents will report you for seducing a minor.“
”What?“
”Just kidding. Relax.”
“You're playing with my life, Flip! With an old man like me, something like that can quickly lead to a heart attack.“
”Old man, I see. I'll have to think about the whole thing again very carefully. If a little joke like that almost gives you a heart attack, then you probably wouldn't survive a relationship with me for long...”
“Oh, no, I'll behave myself.“
”Well, hopefully. Not that I'm the one who gets into trouble in the end. You know, like abuse of senior citizens.“
”All right, all right. But seriously now. What did your parents say about this?”
“Well, my mother is quite enthusiastic about you, you impressed her a little when you met at the dojo. She thinks I couldn't have done better. And my father relies entirely on her judgment. In general, they trust me completely and have no intention of interfering in my life. But...“
Aha, so now it came.
”But what?”
“But I had to listen to a lesson in safe sex right away.“
That sounded familiar somehow.
”I've already been through that too. But Philipp, honestly, I'm in no hurry. I don't think I'm ready yet.“
”Danny, I feel the same way. I'm really glad we're on the same wavelength.”
“I'm happy to have you for now. I see no reason to rush into anything.“
”I agree.“
”On a different note, do you have plans tomorrow?“
”No. Why, do you have any ideas? I'm fine with anything as long as we're together.”
How that warmed my heart, which had been so lonely just a short time ago!
“I wanted to go through the department stores a bit. Now that Christmas is over, a lot of things have become cheaper, and I still need a few things.”
“Okay, good idea. Will you pick me up at home?”
“Sure. What time should I be there?”
"Around nine, half past nine. Or is that too late?”
“No, that's fine. We'll jump on the tram, it'll only take us a few minutes to get into town.“
”Good. See you then...“
”See you then. Flip, thanks for calling. See you tomorrow?“
”Yes, see you tomorrow.“
A short silence on the line.
”And Danny?“
”Yes?“
”I love you.”
“I love you too, Philipp. I'm so happy...“
”Me too.“
Another silence.
”Then goodbye until tomorrow, Flip.“
”Bye, Danny.“
Despite saying goodbye, I couldn't bring myself to hang up. And since I didn't hear a click on the line, Philipp must have felt the same way.
”Flip, are you still there?“
”Yes.”
“Okay, pay attention. I'll count to three, then we'll both hang up, okay?“
”Okay.“
”Good. One... two... three."
Surprisingly, I actually managed to press the button that ended the connection. I carefully put the phone down, and then my control was gone.
“Yippee!"
The dance of joy I performed would have done honor to any Native American medicine man. My loud cry of joy had attracted the rest of the family, and they were now watching my performance in amazement. When I had calmed down somewhat, I looked up into three grinning faces.
“Can we assume that everything went well with your Philipp?“
”Yes!“
”Well, I already told you that earlier.“
”I know, Mom, I know. I should trust you much more.“
”Well, you finally admit that. So, what's next for you two?”
“We want to go to the city center tomorrow morning and make it unsafe.“
”Do that, you know you still need a few things for the winter holidays anyway.”
Did she really have to remind me of that? Our class would spend a whole week in a winter vacation camp. In the Ore Mountains. For skiing! I actually wanted to avoid it, but Mutsch wouldn't let me. Well, if Flip came along too – and I really hoped he would! – then I would survive that too.
The rest of the day passed in a generally happy mood, I teased Tim about Veronika, he teased me about Philipp, and our parents teased us both about our respective love interests. Shortly after eleven, Tim and I were in our beds, and shortly after that I was sleeping the sleep of the just.
I had a very quiet, pleasant night – no idea what I dreamt, but it must have been something very nice. Nevertheless, I woke up very early by my standards – it was just half past seven when I couldn't stand it in bed anymore. I had been lying awake since around seven, mentally going over the events of the last few days again. Quite a mixed bag of events, not all of them as I would have liked, but the end result made up for everything.
As I said, it was half past seven, and I sat up in bed. A glance at the other side of the room showed me that my little brother was still blissfully asleep. And really blissful – if you judged by the smile on his face. Fortunately, I no longer had any reason to envy him – after all, my little brother had more than earned the right to have a little joy in life.
On the quiet soles of my US one-piece suit, I crept to the window and closed it, glancing at the outdoor thermometer. Nine degrees below zero – winter still had us firmly in its grip. My next stop was the heater, which I set to daytime temperatures. Then I went to the bathroom, where I took my time to fulfill the morning obligations. First I took a shower, then I went to the sink and mirror. I took a lot of time, after all, I wanted to look perfect for Philipp! Although it was not really necessary yet, I reached for my shaving things and got rid of a few individual, cheeky bits of stubble. I brushed my teeth for at least twice as long as necessary, and I used the mouthwash to such an extent that it was almost unpleasant. A little aftershave, some deodorant, luckily my hair didn't need too much attention.
When I had completed all the official acts, I took a long, thorough look at my naked body in the mirror. Okay, I wasn't a model athlete, but all in all, I could be satisfied with myself. The last remnants of baby fat had long since disappeared, but on the other hand, I wasn't so scrawny that you could count my ribs.
“I should probably be really happy that you're gay. Otherwise, I'd have to seriously worry about Veronica preferring me."
I jumped violently at the first words Tim said. Grinning from ear to ear, he stood in the bathroom door – which I hadn't noticed open during my detailed self-examination.
“My God, do you have to scare me like that?“
”Yes. I have to go to the bathroom, and if I have to wait much longer for you to finally finish, I'll wet my pants.“
”Okay, okay, I'm leaving. I'm done anyway.”
I grabbed my pajamas, and it was only at that moment that I really realized I was once again stark naked in front of my brother. Slowly but surely, I got the impression that I was indeed a kind of closet streaker.
I left Tim to his own devices and wandered back to our room, where I wrapped myself in the first layer of clothes. It was just after eight, so all in all I hadn't been in the bathroom as long as I had feared.
The next route took me to the kitchen, where Mom was already preparing breakfast.
"Morning, Mom.”
“Good morning, Danny. Did you sleep well?“
”Yes, thank you, very well.”
“I wonder what that was about...“
I didn't need an answer to that.
”Hungry?“
”Sure, always.“
A short time later, a plate of rolls and a cup of steaming tea were in front of me – and I made short work of both.
”Daniel...“
Uh-oh. Daniel. What had I done now?
”Yes?”
“Danny, I really don't want to upset you, but... well, I just want to be sure. All right, we've had this conversation before, but still. I just want to ask you not to rush into anything with Philipp. Take your time, and if you two... well, you know... if you get intimate, then please think about safety, okay? You still have condoms, don't you?”
If I had had a mirror, I could have seen that my face looked like a brake light during an emergency stop.
“Mom, I'm having breakfast!”
"No, you're not. I waited until you were ready. I'll never do it again, but I'm your mother, and I just had to make sure.”
“All right, all right. But don't worry. We're not that far along yet, and if it happens sometime, we'll be careful. I promise.“
”I just wanted to be sure of that. So, when and where do you want to meet?“
”I'll pick up Flip at home, we agreed around nine.“
”Do you know where he lives?”
Well, of course not. I knew the phone number by heart by now, but not the address. But for that I had my beloved mother.
“No. Go ahead, where do I have to go?”
“Dörrenstraße 7. You know where that is?”
"Yes, no problem. It'll take me ten minutes at most.”
I screwed myself up out of my chair.
“When should I be back home, so to speak, for lunch?”
“We don't eat before one o'clock, Reinhardt and I also want to get away sometimes. If you can't make it, please call and leave a message on the answering machine.”
"Okay, no problem.”
“And here's some money. You know what you need.“
I knew what I needed, all right. My eyes widened when I reached for the banknotes – which Mom, of course, noticed.
”But that doesn't mean you have to spend it all! Just in case."
Too bad. I had a whopping three hundred euros at my disposal.
“Danny, Reinhardt and I discussed something last night. Part of the money is for a cell phone."
Yes! Finally!
“Don't get too excited, this is not a carte blanche to waste money. You get a prepaid package like this, and we'll give you five euros a month for call charges. Anything beyond that, you have to pay for yourself – and don't think that you only have to come to us when your pocket money is not enough. Got it?”
“Understood! Thanks. But why the sudden change of heart?“
”After everything that's happened in the last few days, we just think it would be better if you were always reachable or could get help if necessary. Thank Reinhardt, he finally convinced me."
I would certainly do that when the opportunity arose.
“Okay. What about Tim, is he getting one, too?“
”We'll talk to him about that, but so far he hasn't shown any increased interest in it.“
”What haven't I shown increased interest in so far?“
Speaking of the devil (or the angel)... Changing of the guard at the breakfast table.
”Brother, I'm getting...“
”Good morning everyone!”
Now the last missing family member appeared in the kitchen. We greeted back, then Tim turned to me again.
“What do you get?”
“A cell phone.”
“Have you finally managed...”
I grinned happily and contentedly to myself.
“Well, I'll get ready slowly and then disappear. Tim, what are you planning to do?“
”I'm meeting Veronica and Kevin for ice skating. But not until around ten."
Why didn't this information surprise me? But I allowed him this.
I marched up to our room and began the difficult task of selecting an outfit appropriate for the happy occasion. In the end, I opted for a rather conservative style: blue jeans and a plaid sweatshirt were the choice of the day. I looked at the clock; there was still time to kill, but I was far too impatient for that. I just couldn't stand it anymore, I had to see Philipp! So I got fully dressed, went back downstairs, added a jacket, boots, hat and gloves to my outfit, said goodbye to the three family members still sitting at the breakfast table, and set off on the short walk to the Stein family home.
To say that I ran to Philipp's would be wrong. I floated more like on clouds, and eight minutes later I stood in front of the front door with the number 7. After a brief, slightly nervous hesitation, I pressed the doorbell.
I didn't have to wait long before the front door opened and Mrs. Stein's face appeared in the crack of the door.
“Danny! Hello. We weren't expecting you this early.“
It was actually just after half past eight.
”Sorry. If I'm not wanted, I can come back.“
”Nonsense, son, come inside out of the cold first."
I didn't need to be asked twice, and now I greeted Flips mother.
“Good morning, Mrs. Stein. I'm really sorry for being here so early.“
”No problem. Couldn't you wait any longer?“
A knowing smile played around the lips of my hostess. Was I really that easy to read?
”Uh…”
“Don't say anything, Danny. It's all right. But you'll have to wait a while for Philipp, I just woke him up. After yesterday, he had a little trouble falling asleep, so we let him sleep a little longer.“
”No problem.“
”So, give me your jacket first. And take off your shoes, please?”
Of course I did that, then I was escorted by Mrs. Stein to the living room, where a medium-sized, blond man with laugh lines around his eyes rose as I entered.
“Heiner, this is Danny Thom, Philipp's friend. Danny, this is my husband.”
My heart started beating so fast and loudly that you could actually feel it throughout the room. I scrutinized Flip's father and tried to figure out what to expect from him. However, my ability to read facial expressions failed miserably; all I recognized was an interested, weighing and directed look from deep blue eyes. So we stood facing each other in silence for a few seconds. Then it was time to announce the verdict.
“So, you're the one who's turned our oldest's head!“
I was getting more and more nervous. Even from the voice, it was impossible to tell what would happen in the next moment. What did he mean by ‘turning his head’? Hopefully not in the sense of ‘tempting him to be gay.’
”I just have a few words to say to you.”
Oh dear, here it came. Obviously, not everything was as it should be as Philipp had told me on the phone.
“Welcome to the family!”
What? Did I just hear that right? I raised my eyes, which had just started to move towards the floor, and looked up into a friendly smiling face!
“Heiner, you didn't have to do that! You're confusing the poor boy!“
”Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Danny, don't worry. We've been thinking a lot about what it would mean for us if Philipp was gay over the last few days. In the end, we agreed that only one thing should count for us: that our son is happy. If he will be happy with you, then so be it, and you will always be welcome here. But I have to warn you: break his heart, and there will be no place in the world where you could hide from me!"
That said everything. And I didn't need to worry about the last threat.
“Mr. Stein, I have no intention of breaking your son's heart or harming him in any way. I am very serious about him, I love him.“
”I'll take care of that too! Otherwise, there would be nothing left of you for Dad to fulfill his threat. I would find you before he did, and then God help you!”
It seemed that the protective instinct was extremely pronounced in this family! Now even Philipp's little sister was threatening me!
“Hello Veronica. You can count on me, I will never hurt your brother, at least not intentionally or knowingly.”
"That's good. Where is Flip anyway?”
“Your brother just got up, he had a short night. Danny, if you want, go up to his room. Upstairs, second door on the left.”
“Should I? I don't want to rush him.“
”Go ahead, sometimes he needs it a little, otherwise he dawdles too much."
I shrugged my shoulders, then I made my way to my sweetheart. Upstairs, first door, second door. A completely unadorned door, no stickers, no nothing. I knocked, listened, but there was no reaction. A second knock – with the same result. So I took my courage, grabbed the door handle and let myself in. Into a completely empty room. Well, completely empty in terms of people, furniture was already there! But no Philipp in sight.
I used the time to look around the room a little. It was actually a typical teenage room. Not particularly tidy, the bed only superficially made after the night, on the desk a slight chaos of school things next to a computer. Several bookshelves, crammed with crime novels and science fiction. In one corner of the room a large wardrobe. But something was different. There were no pictures, posters or billboards on the walls. It was strange, I had just put a new B3 poster on the wall, and Tim had put up a new Lara Croft poster to replace the one lost in the fire. But what about Philipp? Nothing. No movie poster, no music poster, no sports picture. I would have to ask him about that later.
"Danny!”
Oops, I must have been so deep in thought again that I hadn't even noticed how the actual reason for my being here had entered the room. I quickly turned to the room door, and there stood Philipp in all his beauty. Unfortunately, he was almost completely covered by his long underwear, but still breathtaking. And then a special detail caught my attention. Flip was wearing glasses! And they looked damn good on him, emphasizing his pretty face even more. I couldn't get enough of looking at him – and once again my consciousness shut down completely.
“Danny! What's the matter with you?”
And again rudely awakened...
“Uh... sorry! Hello Flip!”
"Hello back. What was the matter with you just now?”
“I'm sorry, I just never saw you with glasses before.“
”Damn!"
I couldn't see how fast Philipp had pulled the glasses off his nose, hid them in his left hand, that I was almost afraid he would crush them, and then stopped with his head bowed to the ground.
“Why did you take them off? They looked really good.“
That brought a slight raising of the head and a doubtful look.
”Do you really mean that?“
”Yes, absolutely. Why do you doubt it?"
Ha! A slight smile played around the lips of my counterpart.
“Well... When I needed glasses a few years ago, a few people called me a four-eyed snake. And that probably stuck, so as soon as I could, I switched to contact lenses. I only wear glasses at home or when I don't like lenses for some reason.”
“They must have been real idiots. Philipp, believe me, the glasses look really good on you!“
”Does that mean I should wear them all the time now?“
”It means I don't care. I like you with and without glasses, just wear whatever you feel like.”
I took two steps towards Philipp, so that I was now standing directly opposite him. I took his hand with the glasses.
“May I?”
He nodded, and I took the glasses, which fortunately remained whole, out of his hand, opened them and carefully put them back on him.
“So, now you can at least see me properly again.”
"And that's a good thing.”
The next moment we were in each other's arms, and after a short time our lips found each other. And now it was time for me to apply the knowledge I had acquired with my little brother about French kissing null Unfortunately, just as we were really getting into the mood and I was about to suggest canceling the shopping trip, our cozy togetherness was interrupted in an extremely harsh way. Children's feet came trampling up, and we were able to break away from each other just in time, as Kevin came storming into the room in his pajamas and jumped into his big brother's arms.
“Flip!”
"Good morning, Kevin.”
Philipp threw the little troublemaker into the air twice and caught him again, of course, which the little one acknowledged with joyful giggles. During these flying interludes, he also discovered that he was not alone in the room with his brother.
“Hey you!”
“Hello Kevin.”
“What are you doing here?”
"I'm picking up your brother for shopping.”
“Great! Can I come with you?“
We both looked at Philipp, who shook his head slightly.
”No, Kevy, you want to go ice skating with Vroni and Tim today, don't you?“
”That's right! I want to go ice skating!“
”Well then you should go and wash up, and put on something warm. Remember, Mutti will check you.”
“Yuck. Don't want to wear tights.“
I had to grin slightly.
”Then you can't go skating either.“
”All right...“
And just as quickly as he had stormed in, he was gone again. Philipp was suddenly all alone again and smiled to himself.
”Tell me, is the little one always so hyperactive?”
“No, not always. Usually he's much worse.“
”Flip?“
”Yes?“
”You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you in the last few hours.“
”Me too.“
And again we were in each other's arms, but this time we managed to pull apart after a relatively short time.
”You're pretty early, Danny.”
“I know, I just couldn't stand it at home any longer.“
”Did anyone ever tell you that you're cute?“
”Nope. Did you taste that with your tongue earlier?“
Now Philipp laughed uproariously.
”That too. Well, I'll get ready too.”
“If you must..."
Another radiant smile in my direction, then the blonde, divine (b) angel, with whom I was head over heels in love, reached for his clothes and covered his body with another layer of textiles. Light blue jeans and a white fleece shirt. Well, if clothes couldn't be avoided, then at least they looked good on Flip's body. Especially, of course, because the jeans were quite figure-hugging. And he had a body that was worth emphasizing!
'But now I'd rather switch to contact lenses.'
'Why?'
'Because I don't feel like always standing in the dark with completely fogged up glasses when we come into a well-heated shop.'
Was that so? I really had no experience in this matter. Philipp disappeared again briefly in the direction of the bathroom, and shortly thereafter he appeared with the nasal bicycle in his hand.
“So, done. Now a decent breakfast and we're ready to go.”
So off to downstairs, and in this family, too, it was obviously customary to have breakfast in the kitchen.
“There you are at last. What kept you? Or wait, I withdraw the question...“
”You don't need to, mommy. Kevy came bursting in just as I was about to get dressed.”
Oh yes. When he was just about to get dressed. Interesting description of what really happened. But I don't think that Flips parents should or wanted to know the whole story.
“Well then, sit down, breakfast is ready. Danny, you're with me, aren't you?”
"Well actually, I already had breakfast at home...”
“Actually doesn't count. You're growing boys, you need to eat properly."
Who could resist that logic? And as if I had ever refused food...
Fifteen minutes later, we were both fed up, and it was time for us to make our way into town. A brief farewell to the assembled Stein family, and we were on our way. The gods of public transport were with us, and we didn't have to wait long for a “Bimmel” to spit us out ten minutes later in the city center.
“So, here we are.“
”What are you looking for, anyway?“
”First things first. A cell phone.“
”You must have money...“
”Sponsored by Mom and Dad. I've been begging long enough.“
”Well, let's go then.”
Half an hour later, I had got rid of the first 75-euro bill and was in possession of a cell phone – I won't say anything here about the type and network. (Maybe a manufacturer or network operator who would like to be immortalized here will get in touch? For a reasonable fee – for a charitable cause to be determined, of course null
“And what else do you need?“
”First of all, your help.“
”Gladly, go ahead.“
”You're from Bavaria, aren't you...“
”Yes mei, of course!“
”Then you must be able to ski, right?“
”Who can't?“
”I can't, for example.“
”And now you probably want to change that?”
“There's no question of wanting to. Have you heard about our class trip in February?“
”Yes, there was something. Why, are we going to the Alps?“
”No, not quite that high. But high enough for skiing, and I'm definitely not going to be able to avoid it.“
”And now you need skis and everything else that goes with them.”
“Rather, what else is involved, we can rent skis and boots on the spot.“
”So you still need a ski suit and gloves.“
”Exactly. And I hope you can give me a few tips.“
”Sure, let's go.”
Did I mention that I'm not a big fan of clothes shopping? I think so. Especially trying on clothes was a real pain in the neck for me, and it was the same this time. Only the presence of Philipp prevented me from fleeing the sports department of the largest department store in town. But after a while we had narrowed down the selection to two pieces, or actually just one, because they were two pieces from the same series. One was a combination of dungarees and jacket and the other was a matching jumpsuit. I had tried on both.
“What do you think, Flip, which should I get?”
"Get the jumpsuit.”
“That was a quick decision! Any special reasons, Mr. Consultant?“
”Yes. I think it's more favorable for beginners, and you're just a beginner.“
”Right. But why?“
”If you throw yourself into the snow – and that will happen often enough – no snow can get between your jacket and trousers.“
”Sounds logical. Anything else?”
“Yes. The overalls look better. It's all about emphasizing the figure.“
Oh dear, someone must have read my thoughts about his jeans earlier.
”Okay, the second reason is convincing.“
”I knew it..."
We picked out a few more gloves, then some money changed hands again.
“Thanks, Flip. I don't know much about this kind of thing. To be honest, I don't want to either.“
”Come on, it'll be fun. I'll help you study too.“
”Yeah, yeah, fun. It'll be fun for you if I keep falling on my knees in front of you. I'm not so sure about me.”
“We'll see. So, now I would like my consulting fee.“
”And what did you have in mind?”
Philipp took a quick look around, and in the next moment he pulled me into an empty elevator, pressed a few buttons, the doors closed, and he began to collect his fee. In kind. Not that I would complain null However, I would never have thought that my newly outed lover would approach it that way! After only a short mutual tongue massage, the elevator doors opened and we had arrived on the ground floor. Reluctantly, we broke away from each other, but I thought that Flip had been a bit underpaid. So my right index finger found the way to the “close button” of the doors - just in time before several grannies could enter the elevator.
“Sorry, full!"
And we were on our way up again – the ‘payment process’ repeated itself. Unfortunately, it didn't go so well on the top floor – a young mother with a stroller had rushed into the elevator so quickly that we didn't have time to take any defensive measures. The doors closed and we went back down.
“Don't mind me, you can carry on smooching, just don't feel constrained."
Oops, we hadn't reacted quickly enough when we arrived on the fourth floor and had been watched through the opening elevator doors! And again, two bright red heads were due. On the other hand... When we were asked so nicely...
We were startled by a throat clearing.
“Boys, we're downstairs, the doors will open in a moment.“
We let go of each other, and with a slightly bashful but grateful smile in the direction of our fellow passenger, we left the elevator and then also left the department store.
”So, Danny, what do we do now?"
A glance at the watch showed me that it was already half past twelve.
“Are you expected for lunch?“
”Absolutely not expected. Either I'm there or I'm not. Why?“
”Would you like to eat with us?“
”I don't know. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Especially not unannounced.”
“You're certainly not a burden to anyone. Mom is definitely looking forward to it, and my stepfather would like to meet you too. After all, I've already told him so much about you...“
”Oh God, is that a threat now? What have you told me?“
”Since I only know good things about you, I can only have told him that.“
”You old flatterer.”
“I'm just telling the truth!“
”Hm. Will you even have enough to eat to feed me as well?“
”Today we're having potato soup with sausage, and they always make a huge pot anyway. It's all ready and just needs to be heated up.”
“Okay, if that's the case... But then I'd better call my folks and let them know. I don't want them to file a missing persons report on my account.“
”Good, let's go home, you can call from there.”
We set off for home – and were almost crushed in the tram. Like the department stores, the tram was also very full – it seems that quite a few people had waited until after Christmas to spend their money. Slightly disheveled, we reached the pleasant warmth of the house shortly after noon.
We were expected there... by no one. All members of my family were still conspicuous by their absence, only on the kitchen table was a note:
“First one there: set the table!”
Who could resist such a friendly request? Certainly not a good son like me.
“Flip, the phone is in the living room. Call your house, I'll take care of the food tool in the meantime.“
”Don't you want me to help you?“
”Nah, it's okay. I know where everything is, it'll be quick.“
”Okay.”
It didn't take long and the table was set – only the contents for the plates were missing. Hopefully mom wouldn't keep us waiting too long...
“So, everything's settled. I don't need to show up again until coffee time. However...”
“However?”
“Then you're invited.”
"To a highly embarrassing interrogation?”
“I don't think you have to worry about that. They just want to get to know you better.“
”Well, hopefully. So, shall we go up?"
Flip nodded in agreement, and shortly afterwards, we made ourselves comfortable on my bed with some quiet music. No! Not that comfortable! I said on the bed, not in the bed... It was all still absolutely G-rated. For now, the feeling of snuggling up close to each other with Philipp was enough for me – and he seemed to feel the same way. Good, good. A little tongue acrobatics came into play as well null
But at some point everyone needs to take a deep breath, and Flip took this opportunity to ask a question.
“Hey, Danny... me...”
"What?”
“Well... I think it's great. Here with you. But... I don't know if I'm ready for more. But I don't want to disappoint you either. This is all damn new to me!“
Okay, that was probably a pretty stupid moment, but I had to laugh. But at least I managed to keep the laughter quiet.
”Are you laughing at me or with me?”
“At. Flip, I could have said that last sentence myself. This is all just as new for me.“
”What? I thought...“
”Philipp, honestly. You're my first boyfriend. And also the first boy ever that I feel so strongly attracted to. Sure, I've had a crush on a few guys, but you? From our first encounter, I was almost blown away.”
“Man, and I thought I was making a fool of myself because I have no experience in these matters! I've never kissed anyone before, let alone done more.“
”Well, for a beginner, you kiss great. If I may say so with all my experience.“
”What experience? Didn't you just say you didn't have any?”
So I told my boyfriend about Tim's assault kiss in the T-shirt shop.
“Tim? Tell me, should I be worried? Or should I even be jealous?”
"Oh no, not at all! Tim is absolutely straight, you can count on that. Besides, he would get into a lot of trouble with your sister!”
“When would I get into trouble with Veronica?“
Unnoticed by either of us, my little brother had entered the house and then also the room and had caught my last words.
”If you throw yourself at my boyfriend again. But don't worry, Veronica couldn't do anything to you. First of all, it would be my turn, and there wouldn't be anything left for my sister.”
Oh, my dear Flip was quite possessive! And I loved it!
“Philipp, I swear to you that I have no further interest in Danny. I love him - but only as a big brother. Only in quotation marks.”
“Good to hear.”
“With your sister, however, it looks quite different...”
"Is she here too?”
“No, she went home with Kevin. Honestly, the pen got to us! How do you stand it, actually? Seven days a week! I couldn't take it.“
”A little taste of your future children, little brother.“
”I don't know what you're talking about. Kevy is the best-behaved, quietest little brother I can imagine...”
“I'm sorry, brother-in-law-to-be, but that doesn't exactly speak well of your imagination.“
”Tell me, Danny, do I, as your boyfriend, have to put up with this from your brother?“
”Uh... yes. Unfortunately, I have to agree with him.“
”Then I'm outvoted.“
”Indeed!”
“You're right, sometimes the pen is really annoying. Still, I wouldn't trade him for anyone else.“
”LINE UP FOR DINNER!“
Ha! Exactly what I wanted to hear right now! And judging by the enthusiastic looks of the others, I wasn't the only one who felt that way.
”Last one downstairs has to do the dishes!”
As usual with such “suggestions”, the one who suggested it had the advantage over the surprised others – and in this case I was the one who had suggested the race. Flipping the flip-flop with me, I stormed out of the room, leaving Tim the ungrateful last place. But since I had already set the table, it was only fair that he take care of the dishes. Whereby doing the dishes with us only meant loading the dishwasher – so Tim would survive it.
Shortly afterwards, we burst into the kitchen, where Mutti and Reinhard were in the process of filling the plates I had strategically placed with potato soup.
“There you are. I see you're at full strength. Is Veronika there too?”
“No, she went home. Can Philipp eat with us?”
"Sure, no problem.”
Whether that was no problem or not remained to be seen, as it was possible that he was a worse eater than Tim and I.
The next few minutes passed with Reinhardt getting to know his potential son-in-law – and of course, eating was done on the side, which was never a quiet event in our house. After a while, it was Tim's father who made Philipp and me blush profusely.
"Danny, you really have good taste, you have to admit that.”
We couldn't say a word at first. All those present already knew about us before this lunch, but the situation, this direct encounter, was reason enough to be at least a little nervous. It was of course a relief that our relationship seemed to have been fully accepted, but it would take a while before at least I would feel completely comfortable again. Introducing a partner to your parents for the first time – anyone who claims to be relaxed about it is about as credible as a politician claiming to put all their energy into serving the people. That wasn't a compliment...
Fortunately, Mom changed the subject.
"So, Danny, were you successful in your shopping?”
“Yes! By the way, thanks again for the cell phone. And Reinhardt, I heard that you were the driving force behind it.“
”Well, I think we all just feel a little more comfortable knowing that you have one of those things with you. After the incident at school and what happened to your aunt, we'd rather not take any chances.”
“Anyway, thanks.“
”Tim, how about you, do you need one too?“
”Well, if you ask me... No, I don't need one. I don't feel like carrying around a thing like that all the time, and if I'm not carrying it, I don't need it at all.“
”Whatever you say. We just wanted to offer it to you.”
Logically, after all they wanted to avoid that one of us feels somehow disadvantaged towards the other.
“And otherwise? Did you get some stuff for the school trip?”
“Of course! I have fished an extra Bavarian Lederhosen Sepp with experience in Alpener as a consultant!”
A quick glance at Philipp showed me that he didn't take offense at me for this description.
“Advisors, so so. Such advisors usually want to be well paid, do you think you can afford Philipp's fee?"
Now both Flip and I burst out laughing, much to the surprise of the others present.
“Well, I thought Reinhardt's question was quite funny, but still, I have the feeling that it can't be the only trigger for this snorting.“
”Let's just say that I've already made a not inconsiderable down payment. And don't worry, it won't leave me destitute.”
Mom and Reinhardt exchanged meaningful glances; they both had at least some idea of the currency in question.
"Well then, fashion show. I see we're all done eating.”
No way to get around it. I made my way upstairs, and no sooner had I arrived in the room than there was a knock and my mom poked her head in.
“Can I come in?”
“Go ahead.”
"Well then, show me what your sweetheart has picked out for you. After all, I need to know if the consulting fee was worth it.”
“Hehe, it's not like you have to pay for it!“
”Still, after all, I also have a certain responsibility for you.“
”Okay, here, look at this.“
I showed her the red jumpsuit with the black heels.
”Hm, it looks pretty good. But come on, I have to see what it looks like on you.”
So I wrapped myself up and then paraded around the room in front of my mom.
“Ah yes. Now I know why your Philipp recommended this piece to you.”
“Don't you like it?”
"Oh yes! It seems to be nice and warm, and a jumpsuit like this is definitely quite practical for a lowland native like you. You'll be rolling around in the snow most of the time anyway.”
“Thanks a lot. You really know how to boost my self-confidence.“
”As if you needed it.“
Well, I certainly wouldn't turn down a few pats on the back every now and then.
”Daniel?"
Oh no, please don't start with the ‘Daniel talk’ now!
“Danny, it's none of my business, but still. You're both old enough to know what you want and what you're doing. We already talked about it briefly yesterday, but I'm just concerned. Be careful, okay? Here, I got you something quickly today.”
What she now pressed into my hand made my blood rush to my head again. A packet of condoms and a tube of lubricating cream.
"That's not to say that you should use the stuff within the next few hours. I just want you to be properly... er... properly equipped from the start.”
“Mom... Philipp and I have also talked about it briefly. We're both not as ready as you seem to think. This is all very new to us, and we'll definitely take our time and not rush into anything."
She looked at me with some relief.
“Okay. Thanks for being so honest with me. Well, I won't keep you any longer. Run down and show yourself to the others. You're probably getting a bit hot in that thing too, aren't you?”
I had to agree with her, but that was actually a good sign. The chances that I would at least not freeze on the school trip were quite good. The fact that I would probably embarrass myself fatally on the boards was another matter.
I did my dressman duties, reaped approving (and in Flips case rather admiring null glances, then I could put on a more appropriate home wardrobe again. Upstairs in the room, Mom was now sitting on one of the desk chairs, looking a bit lost in the world.
"Mom? What's wrong?”
“Oh, nothing, Danny. It's just... well... I'm slowly realizing that my little boy is growing up. I knew that would happen at some point, but still... Before long, you'll be fully fledged, then you'll move out and get your own place with Philipp. And it won't take much longer for Tim either. The fate of a mother...”
I had only half peeled myself out of the overalls, but I sat down next to her on the neighboring chair.
"Oh, Mom, it's really not that far yet, I'll definitely stay with you for a while. And even if it happens someday, it doesn't mean that I'll disappear from your life.”
“I know all that, Danny, but still, it's all come very suddenly. I had never seriously thought about it, had always suppressed it, and now it was just like a concentrated load.”
We had a similar conversation a few days ago, but this time it seemed to have hit her a little harder. It was really a little relieving to know that with Reinhardt joining our family, she wouldn't be alone even if I stopped living with her. Although, to be honest, I had no plans to give up the comforts of “Hotel Mama” for the time being.
“Well, then I'll probably have to mother Reinhardt in the future. And later maybe a few grandchildren.“
”Tim will have to take care of them, though.“
”Who knows? Maybe in a few years you and Philipp can adopt a child together? Or don't you want children?“
”Well, Mom, I really haven't thought about that yet!”
“You're right. Okay, I'll pull myself together a little now.“
”By the way, I'm invited to Flip's for coffee.“
”Ah yes. I suppose you'll be squeezed just as much as your Flip was with us earlier.“
”I fear that too. But in our brief encounter this morning, everything was actually quite relaxed, I probably don't have much to fear.”
“I think so too. If they do grill you a little too much, just remember that this is an even newer situation for Philipp's parents than it is for us. Show a little consideration for that.“
”Don't worry, I don't plan on getting on the wrong side of my potential in-laws anyway.“
”Good. Well, I'll go hike off again and send up your flip.”
With these words, he left me alone, and I finally freed myself from my ski clothes. While I was folding, the door opened again and both Philipp and Tim came into the room.
“Well, Danny, it looks like my advice worked, your people liked it.”
"Okay, okay, you'll get a little more honorarium.”
“Oh, that's nice to hear. Well then, I'll wait!“
”Hey you two, hetero in the room!“
”Do I hear envy in your voice, little brother?“
”No! But do you have to smooch every free minute? Show some consideration for the youth.“
”All right. Flip, can you wait a little longer?”
“If I get interest later on...“
”We can talk about that. By the way, Tim, you're not going to tell me that you and Veronika are always just sitting together chastely and modestly, are you?“
”With all due respect, and considering the presence of Vroni's big brother, I refuse to comment on this point.”
“Hm. Well. Not saying anything is also saying something. What do you think, Flip?“
”Guilty as charged, I'd say.“
”To change the subject rather unobtrusively: what are you planning to do today?”
“Danny is invited to our place for coffee, I think we should leave around three. I don't know what we'll do after that. And you? I assume you'll meet Veronica again, right?”
“Yes, but not until later. We're going to the movies, to the 7 p.m. showing, she really wants to see this new movie with Brad Pitt. Do you want to come?“
”We'll see, maybe. We're still talking about it."
We spent the following time listening to music and surfing the internet a little, and as planned, we set off for Philipp's parents' house around 3 p.m. In the meantime, the battery of my cell phone was charged and the card was already activated, so from now on I could always be reached through life. When saying goodbye, my mom also pointed this out to me and asked me to call if it was going to be late in the evening. Of course, as a grateful, cell-phone-equipped son, I promised her.
We were expected at the Steins' and soon we were all sitting together at the coffee table. Well, not all together. Veronica and Tim had played Kevin so tired that he had been in bed and asleep since lunch. I would have to remember this tactic when I was with his big brother, then sooner or later we would have to babysit together.
The conversations at the coffee table were quite bearable, I had to answer some questions about myself, but all in all it was kept within limits. Then, however, there was also the point where it became a bit too personal. Only that Philipp's mother did not limit herself to addressing this point in a conversation in private...
“Boys, I realize that we can't forbid you anything and can't really control you. We don't want to know exactly what goes on in your rooms. And no matter how quickly you want to get it on, it will happen at some point. We want you to be careful during sex. So use condoms and whatever else you need, I'm sure you know better than we do.”
And not just in front of Philipp and me, no, his father and little sister were also still sitting at the table!
“Danny, I can tell from your eyes that this topic has come up before, right?”
"Yes, Ms. Stein, and not even three hours ago.”
“Good, then hopefully it will have an effect. Philipp, you probably don't know, but a few months ago, when you had the stomach problems, blood was taken from you, and an HIV test was also done at the same time. It was negative, and unless you've had unsafe sex in the meantime, you should be clean today.“
”Mom!”
“That probably means that there was nothing like that. Danny, how about you?“
And I thought my mother was bad...
”I had the last blood test in December, and an HIV test was also done at the same time. I'm clean too.”
“Very nice. I hope you don't mind me bringing this up, but... well, we know that most of what we thought about it was based on prejudice, but still, we want to be absolutely sure that nothing happens to Flip.“
”Mom, I just hope you'll ask Veronica and Tim the same questions!”
“You can count on that, but we will if her boyfriend is there too. Since Vroni has now heard all this, she can prepare for this conversation."
And with that, the big question and safety check were over, and we were allowed to retire to Flip's room. There we made ourselves comfortable.
“What do you think, Flip, should we go to the movies with the two youngsters?“
”Do you think they really want us there?“
”Tim offered, after all. And think about it: Brad Pitt.“
”Danny Thom is enough for me.“
”Thanks, thanks. So we're not going?“
”I don't know. What else could we do?”
At that very moment, modern technology reminded us of itself. In the form of my ringing cell phone. Although you couldn't really call it a “ringing” anymore – they made all kinds of sounds, but no real ringing.
“Thom.”
“And this is Thom-as.”
"Hi! Say, where did you get this phone number?”
“Your mother gave it to me when I called your house looking for you. Now tell me, how did you get her to buy you a cell phone? Or did you pay for it yourself?“
”You'll laugh, she came up with it all by herself. With a little coaching from Reinhardt.“
”Reinhardt seems to be an ideal addition to the family.”
“Indeed. So, what can I do for you? Do I have to bail you out again?“
”Come on, I'm not that bad.“
”Allow me to disagree...”
“And if it weren't, you'd be bored to death! But this time I'm not in trouble. However... you could really help me with something. Have you already done your chemistry homework?“
”I suspected as much.“
”Come on, you know I can't do that stuff. Will you help me?“
”When?”
“I was hoping that maybe you'd come over to my place in an hour. Then we'll do the chemistry stuff, and afterwards I'll buy a pizza and we'll have a cozy video night. Christine will come later, and we'll have the place to ourselves; my folks went to visit relatives.“
”If I say yes, and I emphasize the 'if' – can Philipp come too?”
“Ah, you won't let go of that guy!“
”Hey, I'm just taking your own advice.“
”Sure, you should. Of course he can come along, no problem. Maybe he knows even more about chemistry than we both do together.”
“Okay, plan on us for now. If it doesn't work out for some reason, I'll call you. Otherwise we'll be at your place in an hour.“
”You're a lifesaver, thanks!“
”Yeah, yeah. As usual. See you then. Bye."
With that, I ended the call and turned to Philipp.
“Flip, that was Thomas. He's calling for help with his chemistry homework.“
”I got that. I still have to do that too.“
”Do you feel like doing it at Thomas' house? Afterwards, pizza and videos are on the agenda. His girlfriend is coming too.“
”Sure, why not. But tell me, aren't there a lot of little sisters buzzing around?”
“The rest of his family has flown out, there's no danger from that side.“
”Well, that's good, because I'm in the mood for a quiet evening.“
”Have you ever thought about whether and to whom you want to tell about us? I'll go with whatever you say, but it would be good to know if you already have a plan.”
“Well, so far only our families know, and I don't think we need to tell many more for now. But you're asking whether we should tell Thomas, right?“
”I don't want to push you, but he's my best and oldest friend. We don't really have any secrets from each other.“
”If we tell him, will he keep it to himself?”
“If we ask him to, definitely. Thomas can also take things seriously – you just have to tell him if you expect him to.“
”Can we take it as it comes? I mean, let's go there first and wait and see. If everything goes well and I don't shit my pants with nerves, then I'll give you a sign, okay?”
“Agreed. Like I said, it's your decision. By the way, when I asked him if you could come along, he told me to keep after you about it.“
”What did he mean by that?”
“Well, he's noticed over the last few days that I've taken a shine to you and teased me a little about it. But he also encouraged me not to be pessimistic about it from the start.“
”I'll probably have to thank him for that in the end.”
“Don't! Then one fine day he'll spread the word that we only got together because of him.“
”Thanks for the warning, I really don't need that.”
“My pleasure. Well, if we're supposed to be at Thomas' in an hour, we'd better get a move on. You have to get your chemistry stuff together, then we have to stop by my place and pick up mine.“
”Okay. Is it far to Thomas'?”
“A little further than from you to me. And all this in snow and ice...“
”Could it be that you don't like winter?“
”I refuse to answer that.“
”Pull yourself together, Danny. I love winter.“
”Help! Does that mean you're going to drag me outside all the time?”
“Exactly. There's nothing like exercise in the fresh air, even in winter.“
Well, I had found myself a suitable friend!
”Okay, Flip, but only under one condition.“
”And what would that be?“
”That you come to the sauna with me sometime afterwards.“
”Why not? I try everything once.”
These prospects were more encouraging again. After a few minutes we were ready to leave, checked out of Philipp's parents, did the same with my folks a short time later, and then showed up at Thomas's door pretty much on time after an hour. However, he made us wait quite a long time, I had to ring the bell three times before he finally opened the door.
"There you are already!”
“What do you mean, already? I said an hour, and a good hour has passed.“
”What? Really? I didn't even realize how the time had passed.“
”Fine, fine. How about you release the door so we can come in. Otherwise, my brain will freeze for good, and then you'll have to see who helps you with the chemistry stuff.”
“Oh, sorry, sure, come in."
We didn't need to be asked twice. In the hallway, we took off our shoes, hats and jackets, and then went to Thomas' room. As the only boy among a bunch of female offspring, he was lucky enough to have his own room, while his sisters had to share.
“I cleared the desk especially so that we have enough space. By the way, it's nice that you could come, Philipp.“
”I haven't finished the chemistry homework yet either, so the suggestion came in handy.“
”Okay, then sit down. Before we start: can I offer you anything to drink?”
We agreed on coke, Thomas disappeared to get the drinks.
“Here, sit down, Flip.”
“Uh, before that... well, I need to... you know. Can you tell me where the bathroom is?”
"No problem. Out of the room, turn right, at the very end at the front of the corridor.”
“Thanks. I'll be right back.“
I didn't stay alone in the room for long, though, because Thomas soon appeared with a tray full of bottles and glasses.
”Here, take the individual parts off, please. Where did your beloved Philipp go?“
”He's checking out the place.“
”Did you tell him where he can find it?“
”Of course.”
“I just hope that the lad doesn't distract you too much from your work. Can you even think straight with your twisted head?“
”Haha. I'm really not that bad.“
”Well, hopefully not. So, have you made any progress with him yet?”
“Sorry, but I won't tell you that.“
”Well then, I'll have to form my own opinion.“
”Opinion about what?“
Flip had probably finished his ‘business’ and had come back into the room at just the right moment.
”Uh... nothing in particular. So, shall we start?”
That's exactly what we did, and since I had already gone through the whole game the day before, we made quite good progress. Whereby I held back – all teachers among our readers can rest assured – and only gave tips and no complete solutions. Only Flip could have gotten those on his own, but not Thomas. Despite all friendship... null
Towards the end of the ordeal, the doorbell tore us away from our work.
“That's probably Christine. Danny, can you let her in? We'll probably be done by the time you get here.”
"No problem.”
I made my way to the front door, grabbed the handle, pushed it down, pulled the door open... and found myself in a wild embrace! In a wild embrace with a girl wrapped up in thick winter clothes! Brrrrr!
"Finally! I was about to freeze to death.”
“Uh... sorry... I couldn't get here any faster. But could it be that you have me confused with someone else?“
”What? Oh shit! Danny, I'm sorry, I actually thought Thomas would open the door. But I guess I was mistaken about the faithless tomato. Can you forgive me again? I hope it wasn't too awful to be hugged by a girl.”
“I'll survive it, luckily you didn't start kissing me as well.“
”If you had, I would have noticed, guaranteed.”
“Who knows, maybe you wouldn't have wanted to know Thomas afterwards. I mean, kissed by me, what would you still find in Thomas then? By the way, he's still sitting at the desk with Philipp, doing chemistry homework. That's the only reason I was the one who opened the door for you.”
“And I will be forever grateful to you for that. I've been standing in the cold long enough today.“
I took Christine's jacket off, stowed it in the wardrobe, and then I followed her back to Thomas's room.
”Hey, you lazybones, don't you have time to greet your girlfriend? Because of you, poor Danny had to endure my blind embrace!”
“What? You jumped on Danny?“
”Of course, after all, I couldn't have known that you would order your visitors to do household chores.“
”Danny, I hope you can forgive me. That must have been a terrible experience for you.”
“I've already told Christine that I'll survive it. But how about you finally getting comfortable and giving her a proper greeting?”
Thomas did so extensively – and as a tolerant person, I generously overlooked this public display of heterosexual aberration. I looked at Philipp, more or less envious of the open way Christine and Thomas were behaving. Flip looked back somewhat nervously, as if two souls were fighting in his breast.
“That's how I imagined the welcome! So, guys, what's going on? Are you done with work? And who is that at the desk anyway? I don't think I know you.“
”This is Philipp, he's been going to our class for a few days. Flip, this is my girlfriend Christine.“
”Nice to meet you.“
”Likewise.”
“So, are you ready now?“
”Yes, we can move on to the cozy part of the evening. I suggest we go to the living room, where we have more space and the TV is bigger too."
Since we had the whole house to ourselves, this was really the best solution. Thomas and Christine headed for the room door – and my devious mind went into overtime.
“You go ahead, Philipp and I will pack our stuff together so we don't have to start again later.“
”Okay. We'll order the pizza right away. What do you want?“
I looked at Flip.
”Salami for me.“
”And I'll have Hawaii.“
”Funny, Danny, that doesn't surprise me at all. Okay, come over when you're ready.”
Did Thomas suspect that I was less concerned about the order in our school things than about what we had done without in the presence of Thomas and his girlfriend? In any case, Philipp seemed to be able to follow my train of thought without any problems, because as soon as the door had closed behind Thomas, he was already falling around my neck and our lips found each other. An exercise that I could easily get used to and enjoy...
But since we would be expected in the living room at some point, we had to be a little shorter than we both would have liked. Reluctantly, we broke away from each other much too soon.
“Danny, I'm sorry.”
"What?”
“For leaving you hanging like that, earlier, when they kissed. I realized that you would have liked to have done the same with me, and it was an ideal situation, but I just couldn't do it.”
“Hey, Flip, you don't have to be sorry. I told you that I would give you all the time you need – and I meant it.“
”Really? You're not angry?“
”How could I be angry with these eyes.“
”Thanks.“
”No problem. But now we should pack up our stuff and then join the others.”
And that's exactly what we did. We packed everything up, left the room and I led Flip towards the living room. We were about to go in when something stopped me. Call it an inspiration, but I stopped my darling from entering the room. Inside, our host was talking to his girlfriend – loud and clear enough for us to understand both of them well, without them being able to notice us.
“Say, Tho-Jo, are they a couple? I think they're great together!”
"I wish. Danny has a huge crush on Philipp, but they're not a couple. Unfortunately.”
And then it happened. Taking me completely by surprise, Flip pulled me by the arm into the living room, startling the two people present with our abrupt appearance.
"Yes, they are a couple. I mean, we are a couple.”
I would have expected anything, but not that. I just hoped that Flip actually came out of his own accord and didn't just do it to please me.
In the meantime, the other two had also recovered from their shock, and Thomas was the first to turn to me with disbelief.
"Is that right, Danny?”
Actions spoke louder than words. A quick glance at Flip, who nodded at me with a smile. So, in front of Thomas and Christine, we repeated what we had secretly practiced in Thomas' room earlier.
"Wow!”
I wholeheartedly agreed with Thomas. And the sight of his totally surprised face with his eyes wide open was an enjoyable addition to the kiss from Philipp.
"You see, Tho-Jo, I told you that the two of them make a great couple. Female intuition! Congratulations!”
We thanked Christine politely and amused ourselves at Thomas, who still hadn't fully recovered from his shock.
“How... how long has it been going on? I mean, how long have you been friends? You know, friends in the sense of...”
"Since yesterday afternoon, almost exactly 24 hours.”
“What? And you couldn't bring yourself to tell me the whole time?“
”Sorry, Thomas, it's my fault. I asked Danny that we keep it to ourselves for a little while longer.“
”Why?”
“God, you're so slow on the uptake today! Flip is still completely closeted except with his and my parents – and now with you! He's just accepted that he's gay, he doesn't really need an official engagement announcement in the daily newspaper.“
”All right, all right. So it's kind of an honor for us that you decided to tell us at all.”
“Exactly. And it was Philip's decision, so thank him.“
”All right. Thanks for telling us, Philip.“
”No problem, it seemed like the right thing to do. But please keep it to yourselves, okay?"
The two nodded in agreement, and I could only hope that Thomas would actually be able to keep his mouth shut.
It would take a while for the pizza to arrive, so Flip and I took the opportunity to tell the other two exactly how we had come together. When we were done, Thomas couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"That's typical Danny! You never take the direct route. Why make it complicated when it can be done easily...”
“Hey, the only thing that counts is the end result. And I'm more than satisfied with that!“
”And so am I!“
”Oh, how sweet. Look at them, Christine, the young couple. How they gaze at each other, they're so much in love.“
”Leave them alone, Thomas-Johannes! Be happy for them instead.“
”I am.”
“I'll take your advice, old friend. Or should I tell them how you always lose your temper when your Christine is mentioned?“
”Don't you dare!“
”That's entirely up to you..."
Fortunately, before we could get more worked up about this, the doorbell rang, and five minutes later we were tucking into the pizzas we had ordered.
“Say, guys, what are we watching today?“
”I had actually picked 'Matrix Reloaded', especially for Danny, because of Keanu Reeves. But that doesn't seem to be necessary anymore..."
We had seen the movie in the cinema a long time ago – but it was something different when you watched it with friends.
“Argh! Can you stop your teasing?“
”All right, I'm sorry!“
”Well, I think 'Matrix Reloaded' is great. Even girls can like Keanu, after all.“
”Should I be jealous?“
”That's up to you.”
So after we had decided how to spend the evening, we made ourselves comfortable in the Kaufer living room. Thomas and Christine took over the couch, I snuggled up with Philipp in the two-seater.
For the next two hours, I tried my best to divide my attention fairly between what was happening on the screen and the extremely cute boy next to me. In this case, 'fairly' meant that I followed the action on the screen for a mere 10 percent of the time, otherwise turning my attention to Flip. Which was anything but unpleasant for him. And after we realized that Thomas and Christine were also completely absorbed in their own thoughts, we dropped all inhibitions and immersed ourselves in each other to such an extent that we didn't even notice that the movie had long since ended.
“Hey you two! Stop it! The movie was over ten minutes ago!“
I didn't care about that, I finally had some pretty lonely years to catch up on.
”What's the matter, Thomas? As if you were very involved with the movie."
The slightly embarrassed grin on Thomas and Christine's faces showed me that I had hit the mark.
We spent the next hour chatting about everything under the sun (so much less about God than about the world). It turned out that Thomas had picked a girlfriend who could keep up on all topics – what a difference to some of his earlier “beauties”, whose best formulated sentences often consisted of a skillful “H?” No wonder Thomas didn't want to take any chances with her! He was probably already suffering from severe sexual withdrawal symptoms – but Christine seemed worth it to him. I couldn't blame him; I felt the same way about Philipp.
At some point it was time to leave, it was quite late, and the day before had been a bit exhausting after all. Pleasantly exhausting, admittedly, but still. I quickly called home to say that I would take Flip home and then come straight back.
Thomas had had the same idea. Not that he would accompany Flip home, but that his Christine would. Both Christine and Flip said that this wasn't necessary, but we didn't let them talk us out of it, of course. Wouldn't have been nice...
Since we had to go in completely different directions, we said goodbye to each other right at the front door. On this occasion, Thomas gave me a few hearty slaps on the back and leaned conspiratorially towards my left ear.
"Congratulations, buddy. But it was high time. Now don't let it get away from you again!”
“I don't intend to, I'm not that stupid.“
”I'd advise you to do the same. Well, see you soon.“
”Bye.”
And so we set off through the dark, cold night. It was just after eleven, the streets were almost deserted, and we set a brisk pace. We didn't really feel like talking, because we would probably have frozen in our mouths. In this way, it didn't take long and we were standing in front of Philipp's front door.
“Are you coming in for a moment?“
”I'd love to, but I really have to go. See you tomorrow?“
”No, unfortunately not. We're invited to relatives in Dresden for a birthday, so we'll be out all day.“
”Too bad.“
”Yes. But we'll see each other again on Monday in any case.”
“Okay. And if I know that I'll see you there, I'll be happy to go to school voluntarily. My mom might be surprised...“
”Haha, mine too. But I guess they'll figure out pretty quickly why we're in such a good mood.”
“Probably. Well, I have to go. Flip, that was a wonderful day. Wonderful because I was with you. We should do it again very soon. Maybe even without Thomas and Christine...”
“You're a bad one! But you're right, the day was great. The best in a long time. Well then, take care on your way home. Don't let any bad guys capture you.“
”They wouldn't stand a chance. After all, I now have someone worth fighting for.“
”Smooth, smooth. But I love it. I love you...”
“I love you too."
A quick look in all directions, the coast was clear, so we could indulge in an extended goodbye kiss. Then I reluctantly turned away from my sweetheart and made my way home. A short time later, I arrived at home, where I found Mom and Reinhardt in front of the TV.
“I'm back.“
”Good evening, Casanova. Well, how was it?“
”Sorry, Reinhardt, but a gentleman never reveals his secrets...“
”Does that mean we should start to worry?“
”No, Mom, we've been through that. We're not rushing into anything.”
To dispel any doubts, I sat down with them for a few minutes and told them how the rest of my day had gone. At the end of the story, Reinhardt looked at me with mock severity.
"I see. Movie night. We'll check that right away. Tell me what the movie was about. From the first minute to the last, if you please.”
“Well, it all started with...“
”Nah, nah, let's not. We'll believe you. Won't we, Maria?“
”I guess we have to.“
”Is Tim already there?“
”Already? Have you looked at the clock? He's been home for a few hours and is probably already in bed.“
”With Veronica?”
“Don't give the boy any silly ideas!“
”I'm just saying... I don't want to walk in on anything.“
”No, don't worry, he's all alone.“
”Good, then I'll call it a night too. Good night, everyone.”
After the appropriate replies, I disappeared upstairs. Light was still shining through the keyhole of our room, so I didn't have to make any special effort to be extra quiet so as not to wake Tim. Nevertheless, I knocked briefly before entering.
“Hello, little brother.”
"Hi, Danny! So, back from the big love adventure?”
“No idea what you're talking about. We just had a cozy evening, together with Thomas and Christine, by the way.“
”I see. So that's what they call it these days...“
”Kid, back off. Or should I ask you what you did with Veronica?“
”We were very tame and peaceful!“
”Yeah, right...”
“Tell me, did you tell Thomas and Christine that you're a couple now?“
”Confess is good..."
So I told him again in detail what had happened in the Kupfersche apartment. Tim found all of this highly amusing for reasons incomprehensible to me, and it took him quite a while to calm down again.
“Well, I didn't think your Philipp was capable of that!“
”I didn't either, so I was very surprised when he dragged me into the living room and told them everything.“
”Did it bother you?”
“Annoyed? No, not at all! Like I said, I was surprised. I thought it was somehow very... how should I put it...“
”Cute?“
”What makes you say that?“
”Because that's your favorite word when it comes to Philipp.”
“Really? Well, then it must be so. I just hope that he didn't do it just to please me. I don't want him to feel obligated to do something he doesn't really want to do yet.“
”He'll have thought about it properly, don't worry, he seems to have a clever mind.”
“He does. After all, he fell in love with me.“
”Oh dear, you really don't suffer from an oversized ego!“
”I never said I did."
During this conversation, I had peeled myself out of my warm clothes and was now looking over Tim's shoulder, who was sitting in front of his computer in his pajamas.
“What are you doing?“ ‘Not surfing on dirty sites, are you?’
”No, like I'd ever do that!“
”Well, I'll have to take a look at your history file later...“
”You won't find anything there. I've been downloading music the whole time. It's amazing what's out there!”
“You're preaching to a convert. I've already stuffed almost half of the hard drive with it. I just don't get around to making CDs from it.“
”That works too? Can I then listen to it in the stereo as usual?“
”Sure, no problem.“
”You have to show me that sometime. If I can use your burner.”
“Of course you can. Well, now I'll disappear under the shower first, and then I'll get long. I've had enough for today.“
”Okay, when you're done, I'll stop here too.“
”You don't have to, you can still continue, I'm not bothering you.”
“Maybe not that, but I'm getting tired too."
A good twenty minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom like a freshly licked kitten. Tim was just about to turn off the computer, I took care of the heating and windows, and shortly thereafter we were in our beds. A quick good night wish, and then I was already asleep.
On Monday, after a much-too-short weekend, it was time to get up early again. Some scientist or other had discovered that school starts much too early and that it would be much better if it didn't start until nine. Well, on the one hand that sounded quite good; sleeping a little longer couldn't hurt. On the other hand, the idea that classes would then extend even further into the afternoon was not so great either. Then the whole day would be ruined! But so far it was only talk, and in Germany it takes years, if not decades, for talk to become serious action. By the time school starts at nine for us, I should have long since finished my studies...
Sunday had been fairly quiet. I missed my newly won love, and Tim also had to do without his Veronika – who was, of course, also tied up with the Stein family obligations. I had used the morning to explain everything about CDs and their production to him – and had taken the opportunity to burn three beautifully mixed samplers for myself. The afternoon was just how I liked it. The four of us piled into the car and headed to the nearby leisure center – to the family sauna. It turned out that Tim and his father were experienced swimmers – only my mother needed a little convincing to give it a try. Fortunately for me, only Philipp was missing – and without wishing him any harm, I hoped that at least a little bit of me was missing him.
I'll just skip everything that happened between getting up and school – that was more or less the same every day anyway. Don't worry, if something exciting had happened, I would tell you about it. But nothing exciting happened, so let's move on.
As usual, our regular clique met in front of the school door, which was closed again. And finally the time had come, I could hug Philipp again! Well, I wish. Of course I didn't. No matter how much I wanted to, I held back and greeted him the way I greeted all my other friends. Anyway, I think that nobody noticed anything, especially since Flip himself controlled himself, too. The conversations revolved around the usual topics, i.e. how everyone had spent the weekend, etc. Of course, only a censored version of Philipp and me was released – and Thomas also managed to keep his trap shut. By the way, Tim had immediately gone over to Veronika and was now chatting with his classmates, standing close to her.
While we were chatting and waiting for the school doors to open, I once thought I heard someone say something to someone else as they walked by that sounded like “Look at the fags!” – but I wasn't quite sure if I had really understood it correctly. Probably not, it was definitely just one “fag” that was mentioned – in other words, me. Since this wasn't the first time it had happened, I pushed the experience right to the back of my mind, and by the time we were finally allowed into the heated school building, I had practically forgotten it.
But it is precisely the most unpleasant things that have the habit of painfully reminding us of themselves again and again. In this case, this reminding consisted in the fact that the strange events during the breaks, when we were walking from one room to another, increased more and more. Some just stared, others went so far as to imitate kissing noises. And now it was clearly directed at both me and Flip! Slowly but surely, we both became more and more nervous – and the worst part was that we couldn't talk about it, since we were constantly surrounded by people who hadn't been initiated yet!
During the break before the big lunch break, we were both so exhausted that it didn't take much to make us explode. We had no idea what was going on – okay, I had an idea, but I couldn't explain how it could be possible. Somehow, someone must have found out that Flip and I were together – but how? I trusted everyone who had been privy to our secret so far, and couldn't imagine that any of them would break our trust so completely. From the looks on Thomas's face, I gathered that he was just as surprised by the events as we were.
But enlightenment was approaching, and again it was Lisa who had tapped her secret sources of information. She took Flip and me aside, and then addressed us in a whisper.
"Tell me, is it true? Have you two become lovers?”
It was time for two bright red heads. We looked at each other, there was nothing left to hide. We couldn't find the words, we could only nod very slowly.
"So it's true. You're the talk of half the school, and by the end of the day you'll be the talk of the whole school.”
“But... but why... I mean... we were absolutely careful!“
”Here, Danny, but elsewhere you weren't paying attention. There's talk of a wild smooching in a department store elevator.“
”Shit!”
Although such a form of expression didn't really suit my Philipp – here I could only agree with him wholeheartedly. Obviously not only the young mother had witnessed our intimate embrace with lip involvement, but someone who knew who we were must have seen it as well. And that someone hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut...
“It seems you know what this is about.“
”Yes, unfortunately. Do you have any idea who started this rumor here?“
”Not exactly. It must have started somewhere in the ninth floor this morning, and since then it has been making more and more rounds.”
I looked at Philipp, who was standing in the corner of the room with a very pained expression on his face. Oh yes, I would have loved to shout it out that he was my boyfriend now! I wanted everyone to know – but not like this. Not in this way, which was so frightening for Flip.
“If it makes you feel better, I'm happy for you both. But that won't really help you, will it?"
The teacher's arrival relieved us of the need to answer, and in the general bustle we made our way to our seats with our heads bowed. The lesson passed excruciatingly slowly – and since some people had overheard the conversation between Lisa and us, the news now spread throughout our class. The whispering became so loud at the end that the teacher had to energetically restore order. A calm whose shelf life expired ever more quickly as the end of the lesson approached.
And then it happened. The bell rang, the teacher disappeared, and contrary to the normal routine, our classmates remained in the room. An uncomfortable silence threatened to spread until Jürgen looked at Philipp and me.
“This is impossible, guys. I really didn't expect this from you, especially not from you, Danny.“
I stared at him with wide eyes and had no idea what he was getting at.
”Why are the best friends always the last to hear the good news? Well, I won't be that way. Congratulations, and may it last a long time!”
And with that, the spell was broken. Suddenly everyone was talking at once, congratulating us, and a hesitant smile spread across both Philipp's and my face.
Two or three didn't pay any attention to us at all and left the room like that, but as long as they didn't mess with us, it didn't really matter to me. One by one, all those who had congratulated us left, until I was alone in the room with Philipp at the end.
"Pretty intense, isn't it? Can you handle it, Flip?”
“Do I have a choice? I'll have to deal with it whether I want to or not. Doesn't that bother you at all?“
”Oh yes! But what bothers me is not that everyone knows, but rather how it happened. I would have preferred it if it had happened according to our rules, in our time. You know that I would never have pushed you.”
“I know. And I also know how hard it would have been for you. I know that because I would have liked to have told everyone myself! But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Who knows when I would have dared to do it, if ever.“
”But, Flip, you would have. And I would have waited for you for so long.”
“Thanks. Well, maybe it's for the best. Now someone has made the decision for us.“
”And how do we deal with it now?“
”The best defense is a good offense. My father always says that.“
”Now I also know where you get your clever mind...”
“Danny, I know you're worried about how I'm taking this. It's really not easy, it's all still so completely new to me. A few days ago I wasn't ready to admit to myself that I'm gay – and now I have the greatest boyfriend in the world! And you know what? I'll get through this with him. Just promise me you won't leave me alone, okay?“
”You can count on that. You won't get rid of me!”
Whether it was the knowledge that nothing mattered anymore, or the relief at my promise, I don't know. In any case, Flip did next what had gotten us into this trouble in the first place. He hugged me, and then our lips found each other. We didn't have much time for it, but we enjoyed this moment, which gave us both some security and courage again.
“So now I can get through anything that comes my way.“
”Me too. Let's go eat?“
”Yes. Somehow I've suddenly got an appetite again.”
With these words, Philipp's left hand grabbed his school bag, his right hand grabbed my left hand, and then he pulled me through the door into the corridor. I just had time to grab my own bag. In the corridor, we immediately became the target of many pairs of eyes again, and under the gaze of at least a dozen students from all kinds of classes, we marched towards the dining room. Hand in hand. Towards a future that held many unknowns, but one thing we knew for sure: we would face it together...
Epilogue – A few months later on my 18th birthday
"Danny, look, Ralph and Christoph are sitting over there.”
Sure enough, they were sitting about ten rows in front of us. Since the infamous party at Ralph's sister Katja's, the two had been inseparable, and had weathered all the adversities of their coming out together. They were role models for all gay teenagers. Now the two sixteen-year-olds were sitting in the movie theater not far from us, waiting for the show to begin.
Tim and I had taken four seats at the very back, in the very last row, and were now waiting for the two missing people.
“Say, Tim, do you think we've chosen the right movie?”
"Hey, you wanted something where you don't have to pay much attention and can cuddle nicely. And this movie is really good for that.”
He was right about that.
"I'm not sure, though, if it was such a good idea to leave the popcorn to them. I just hope they get back in time for the movie to start.”
I sent a short prayer to heaven. Whenever you left the two alone, there was always a risk that they would fall into total dawdling. Well, there were still a few minutes to go.
The last months had been eventful, since Tim and his father had moved into the house, which had previously only been occupied by my mother and me, our lives had changed considerably. At the beginning, despite the size of the house, we literally stepped on each other's toes – no wonder, with two additional people constantly bustling around. But we got used to it quite quickly. Just as quickly as Tim got used to his new school, well, in terms of performance, no problems were to be expected anyway, and with a big brother like me, it was also much easier to take the step into the great unknown. It didn't take long for him to make a lot of friends.
Reinhardt became the great calming influence of the family. The fact that he worked from his home office made him the point of contact for the three of us, and I especially learned to appreciate his always having an open ear for my problems and issues. He and my mother were as happy as on their first day together, and in six weeks the wedding bells would finally ring. After that, the two of them would jet off for a fortnight's honeymoon, and Tim and I would have the house to ourselves! We weren't planning a non-stop party, but we would take advantage of it a little! Hehe, boys will be boys.
My mother had been more even-tempered than ever before and had even won an architecture prize. She was more infatuated with Tim than ever (without somehow neglecting me), and this feeling was clearly mutual.
As for yours truly? Well, exactly what I had feared had come to pass. I was regularly reminded of Tim's impeccable grades, not really seriously, more teasingly. And in a way, I had been gripped by ambition, with the result that my grade point average had also rapidly dropped to 1.5.
Tim and I had become real brothers over time. Oh, nonsense, much more than that, we were the best friends you could imagine. There was nothing that one could not talk about with the other, there were no secrets, never angry words – instead, there was some kind of connection between us on a spiritual level, which often meant that one of us would finish the other's sentence. I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore, and how I had managed for more than seventeen years without him was beyond my comprehension.
Tim was still shy, but not nearly as much as at the beginning of our friendship. And what was left of his shyness only made him all the cuter, prettier, more interesting. What had completely disappeared, however, and what we didn't shed a single tear over, were his self-doubts. In that regard, he had become a completely new person, and when the conversation turned to his mother, his usual comment was, “That stupid cow has no idea what she threw away.” He was right!
Tim had used the past summer to work on his major project. He had set out to cure me of my fear of water. So, on the beaches of the area, you often saw an enthusiastic Tim and a skeptical Danny, and the skepticism was well placed given my brother's teaching methods. When my stubbornness got on his nerves too much, he had even stolen my swimming trunks in a devious diving attack (note: never again such flimsy swimming shorts, with a skin-tight Speedo like Tim's, the maneuver wouldn't have been so easy for him!), and then swam with his loot not back to the beach, but to a small island in the lake. Now I had to decide whether to wade back to the densely populated shore relatively unclad or to gather all my courage and swim the approximately two hundred meters to the island, through water that was so deep that I could never ever stand in it again. I chose the latter – and even survived it. I had really landed myself a great brother! However, I had to admit that I haven't had such big problems with water since then, which may also be because he was a good trainer and I learned more from him about swimming than I did from my demanding biological father. Now I even enjoyed it! Just a little, but still. Who would have thought that of Danny “Afraid of Water” Thom?
Well, that was it, the story of the new beginning. A new beginning for all of us, and one that has made all our lives happier than we ever dared to hope for. Exactly 12 months ago, it was a simple coincidence, yes, an accident that set things in motion, and today I was more convinced than ever that fate had somehow played a part in it. But you know what? That's only one side of the coin. Just trusting in a kind fate is not enough. You have to take your luck into your own hands; if you just wait for it to fall into your lap, you'll probably remain very lonely for a very long time. Reinhardt and my mother, Tim and I – we had done just that, and we had been richly rewarded for it.
By the way, I had adopted something else from Tim, besides the fun of swimming. For a few weeks now, I had been calling Reinhardt “Pops.” God, he was happy when I said it for the first time! I had thought about it for a long time; at first it seemed almost like a betrayal of my “real” father. But then I said to myself: he had loved me, so he would definitely be happy to see that I was able to lead a normal life again without him. He would be happy to see that Mom and I had found someone else who loves us just as much as he did before he died. So it was “Pops” from now on. Well, I couldn't stand back, especially since Tim had started calling my mother “Mutti” a few weeks earlier. And all of this went very well with the fact that on the day of Reinhardt and Maria's wedding, the mutual adoption of Tim and me would also become legally effective. Danny Bergner – that didn't sound so bad, did it?
The excitement at school had gradually subsided. Flip and I became a normal sight, everyone knew that we practically never appeared separately. Of course, there were a few unpopular contemporaries, but they were in the minority, and we didn't even have to worry about them becoming a real problem. Our friends took care of that. The overall mood was so good by now that – as probably already mentioned – Katja's brother Ralph had also decided to come out to the school.
Well, now they could really show up slowly, the light would go out any minute. Ah, there they were at last! Tim and I were each handed a bucket of popcorn, then we were taken to the center, and just in time we were complete. The lights went out, the curtain went up, and Tim leaned over to me and whispered in my ear:
“Have a nice time, birthday boy."
Then he leaned over to the other side, put his left arm around his girlfriend's shoulder and started doing what you do in the back row of a dark movie theater.
And me? Well, I leaned to the right, where Flip, the cutest boy on the planet and within a radius of a few hundred parsecs, was already waiting longingly for me to give him the same attention as Tim gave to his Veronica (of course they were together too!). And I would certainly not disappoint his expectations! So please excuse me, I have more important things to do than continue this story. Go out and get a lif