2025-07-10, 03:41 PM
The year is 2008. North Sea coast near Emden. A 16-year-old boy sits on a quay wall, looking out to sea lost in thought. In his hand, a message in a bottle. Yes... the words he wrote were harsh but true, and they hit the nail on the head. He was gay. He, Phillip Brueggemann, was gay and had not reckoned with the effects of his coming out. He was alone, alone with himself and his worries. He would never find someone to love, because, according to his father, he was too ill. Ill, the boy kept thinking. I am ill. A mental wreck.
With pent-up hatred for his father, but also fear of what the future might bring and a good deal of anger, he threw the bottle into the sea and thus handed it over to the sea.
The sky was overcast when Phillip finally dragged himself out of bed that morning. He should have had a university class already, but he wasn't feeling well, as he had been lately.
He had never let on to his roommate Maike, but now that certain repressed feelings were coming to the fore again through the new clique, they were making things almost unbearable. Whenever he thought of “it,” he felt sick to his stomach. I'm sick. That sentence had literally burned into his brain over the three years.
“Morning,“ Maike, his cheerful roommate, interrupted Phillip's train of thought. She had already prepared breakfast. Also as usual. Everything had become such a rut.
“Morning,” Phillip replied, completely disinterested. He couldn't stand this cheerfulness in the early morning.
“By the way, there's a letter for you,” Maike continued cheerfully, while she took a big bite of her jam roll. ”It's from your old man.”
Great! Phillip was glad to be rid of his father. He had given him more than enough trouble in his youth and now he was still sending him mail. Unbelievable!
“Don't you want to read what he has to say to you?“ Maike couldn't believe this reaction.
“Nah, not really,” Phillip replied brusquely, “he can go screw himself.”
“Okay.” Maike inhaled audibly. “Then at least read what's on the envelope. I have to go too. See you tonight.”
Phillip knew that she knew. What was going on with him. And actually he loved her for taking it so well, but he couldn't stand her stubbornness.
He poured himself a cup of coffee, then leafed through the university magazine a bit indecisively, but... as if guided by an invisible hand, his gaze kept returning to the large brown envelope. Should I or shouldn't I... that was his question here. Finally, human curiosity won and Phillip took the envelope and read the note from his father on the back.
“Hello, mail from somewhere I know. Something about a message in a bottle. Childish. Typical of his father, no sense of romance.”
With trembling hands, Phillip opened the envelope. Another letter fell into his hands. Postmarked Madeira. The letter had actually reached someone. Phillip couldn't believe it, because he had
almost forgotten about the message in a bottle, and now this.
He needed another sip of coffee and then... then there was no stopping him. Excitedly, Phillip tore open the envelope. A letter, handwritten...
Hello,
a few days ago I was sitting on the beach in the evening and your message in a bottle washed up. I was surprised that something like this still exists in the age of email and cell phones, until I saw the date.
Three years is a long time. But it's also a long way from Germany to here.
Anyway... you must have been pretty messed up when you wrote that letter. I'm not trying to poke open any wounds, but I'm gay too and I can tell you that it's really easy to live with today if you let it.
Today, we would both have to be about 19. And like fire and water. But I'm sending you my email address anyway. Maybe you can pull yourself together and write me an email. Let me prove to you that being gay is not an illness, as your father has drummed into you.
Life is always worth living.
I hope to hear from you soon. All the best. Danny
Phillip was perplexed. He had never expected that. His thoughts from back then... now, three years later, someone had actually responded and very sympathetically. However, Phillip couldn't imagine whether he would get involved in Danny's experiment. But he would definitely get in touch with him, but now he had to go to college first; he couldn't miss the second reading.
That evening was the day. He, Phillip Brüggemann, was going to make contact with a “like-minded person” for the first time. He was already shaking in his boots as he composed the first e-mail to the boy he didn't know. He might have been 19, but he was still as timid as he was three years ago.
He spent a quarter of an hour working on the right e-mail. Just to be able to wait. But he didn't have to wait that long. A chat window unexpectedly opened on his messenger and revealed that a Danny had just logged on.
“Hi Phillip.“ He really didn't waste any time.
“Hi,” Phillip wrote back. He had no idea what this chat would change.
Sympathy existed after just a few sentences written and Phillip realized for the first time that someone was really listening to him. So time passed and dawn was already breaking when Danny made him an offer that took his breath away at first.
“You have to live, Flip. Clear your head and since that's not possible in Germany, just come to Madeira for a few days.”
“And how should I do that?”
A big smiley face appeared in the messenger.
“Book a flight and get on the plane. Simple.“ Phillip shook his head. He had
ideas.
“And what about the semester?” Phillip again reacted completely reactionary. “I can't just leave in the middle of the semester.”
“Can't or won't?” Even though he couldn't hear Danny's voice, he knew that there would be a certain sharpness to it when they faced each other. And above all, he couldn't say anything to dissuade him. Over the next week, many lectures were canceled due to preparations for the graduating students. And he had nothing to lose either.
“Ok,” he wrote back to Danny. ”I'll do it. I'll come. Next week. I'll book a flight today and let you know today. Ok?”
Again, an oversized smiley appeared on the screen. That settled it.
Passengers of flight LH446 from Hannover to Funchal are requested to board at gate 4 now. All guests to flight...
“And you're really sure you want to do this?” Maike asked, looking worried. She had brought Phillip to the airport.
“No turning back,“ Phillip replied resolutely. He even smiled a little.
Maike no longer recognized her roommate. Phillip had been in contact with Danny for a week now, and in that week he seemed to have opened up to the outside world. Which made her increasingly happy.
“And don't pick up any hot guys,” Maike joked.
“I can't guarantee that,” Phillip cheekily replied, before saying goodbye to his roommate with a kiss on the cheek and going to the boarding. A baffled Maike was left behind.
Dear ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing in Funchal shortly. It is 27°C outside in bright sunshine. Captain Miller and his crew thank you...
Two hours had flown by. Now, just before landing, Philip's heart began to beat faster. In just half an hour, he would meet the man who had managed to snap him out of his lethargy in just one week.
“Just a quick wash,” was the first thing that crossed Phillip's mind as he reached the airport terminal with the airport bus. Hopefully Danny wasn't there yet.
He was lucky. Danny arrived just as he was coming out of the airport washroom, reasonably fresh and summer-clad. Phillip was speechless...
Danny was not what he had expected. What had he expected? Rather a guy like the average. But Danny was clearly not average. He was tall, athletic, which could be easily seen under his tight-fitting clothes, and blond. For many gays “the” dream man.
“Hi.” Danny beamed from ear to ear. ‘You must be Phillip?”
Phillip nodded, both petrified and enchanted at the same time.
“Well, let's get going then, I'm parked in a no-parking zone.’ As a matter of course, Danny took Flip's suitcase and walked ahead. This gave Phillip a moment to catch his breath before following him.
“And how do you like the landscape?“ They had been driving across the island for about half an hour, always heading towards Puerto Moniz in the north-west of the island.
“It's beautiful,” Phillip replied hesitantly. He was overwhelmed by the impressions of the island and the man next to him.
“Yes, it really is,” Danny replied, concentrating again on the narrow coastal road.
“Do you live here alone? On the island, I mean?“ Phillip's curiosity was now beginning to grow.
“No,” replied Danny, fully concentrated, “my parents also live on the island in Funchal. I moved to Puerto Moniz a year ago for work.”
“What do you do?“ This was one point they had not yet clarified.
“Actually, I work at the reception, but at the moment it's vacation for us, since there are no vacations in Germany or elsewhere. So I have plenty of time.” Danny smiled mischievously at Phillip again.
“So, here we are. Everyone out.” Danny stopped his jeep in front of a larger house with a wooden gate.
“This is where you live?“ Phillip looked at the grounds with the pool as he entered the property.
“Yep,” Danny replied, took Phillip's suitcase and set off. “Second floor, apartment 3.” This could only be too good to be true. Unbelievable!
“Here you go.” Danny, being the perfect gentleman, held the door open for his guest. ‘First door on the right is the guest room.”
“Wow.’ Danny smiled embarrassedly at Phillip's reaction. The room was bright and nicely furnished. The question of financing arose. But Phillip wanted to avoid dealing with something like that on the day of his arrival at all costs.
“First unpack. I'll be in the garden preparing your welcome barbecue. When you've settled in, you can join me. Oh, Danny turned around again as he left, “you can take off your shirt. We are alone in the house. The other apartments are only occupied in midsummer and late fall. So I'm practically the only permanent tenant in the complex.”
“Okay.” The usually so prudish Phillip felt quite differently in the face that he would soon see his host only in shorts and topless.
“Good. See you in a bit.” Danny disappeared through the door.
Air... Phillip needed air. He opened the large window and breathed in the sea air, which was so familiar and yet so different, like the air at the North Sea.
He began to carefully store his clothes in the closet. In five minutes, he had stowed everything important. And now... off to the garden... He rummaged for a matching swimsuit and a shirt. But what had Danny said... without a shirt, whether he dared to do that, that would mean a big leap over his own shadow. He thought about it briefly and made his way outside.
His eyes fell on Danny, who had just lit the grill. His six-pack glistened with sweat. He looked at himself. Okay, granted, he wasn't an Adonis. But no fat where it didn't belong either. Actually quite handsome, even if his father had always denied it.
“Hey, there you are at last.” Danny beamed like a Cheshire cat, while he scrutinized his guest and his body. ‘A beer?”
“Yes, please.’ Phillip gratefully accepted the beer. Suddenly he no longer felt so uncomfortable in his own skin.
With pent-up hatred for his father, but also fear of what the future might bring and a good deal of anger, he threw the bottle into the sea and thus handed it over to the sea.
The sky was overcast when Phillip finally dragged himself out of bed that morning. He should have had a university class already, but he wasn't feeling well, as he had been lately.
He had never let on to his roommate Maike, but now that certain repressed feelings were coming to the fore again through the new clique, they were making things almost unbearable. Whenever he thought of “it,” he felt sick to his stomach. I'm sick. That sentence had literally burned into his brain over the three years.
“Morning,“ Maike, his cheerful roommate, interrupted Phillip's train of thought. She had already prepared breakfast. Also as usual. Everything had become such a rut.
“Morning,” Phillip replied, completely disinterested. He couldn't stand this cheerfulness in the early morning.
“By the way, there's a letter for you,” Maike continued cheerfully, while she took a big bite of her jam roll. ”It's from your old man.”
Great! Phillip was glad to be rid of his father. He had given him more than enough trouble in his youth and now he was still sending him mail. Unbelievable!
“Don't you want to read what he has to say to you?“ Maike couldn't believe this reaction.
“Nah, not really,” Phillip replied brusquely, “he can go screw himself.”
“Okay.” Maike inhaled audibly. “Then at least read what's on the envelope. I have to go too. See you tonight.”
Phillip knew that she knew. What was going on with him. And actually he loved her for taking it so well, but he couldn't stand her stubbornness.
He poured himself a cup of coffee, then leafed through the university magazine a bit indecisively, but... as if guided by an invisible hand, his gaze kept returning to the large brown envelope. Should I or shouldn't I... that was his question here. Finally, human curiosity won and Phillip took the envelope and read the note from his father on the back.
“Hello, mail from somewhere I know. Something about a message in a bottle. Childish. Typical of his father, no sense of romance.”
With trembling hands, Phillip opened the envelope. Another letter fell into his hands. Postmarked Madeira. The letter had actually reached someone. Phillip couldn't believe it, because he had
almost forgotten about the message in a bottle, and now this.
He needed another sip of coffee and then... then there was no stopping him. Excitedly, Phillip tore open the envelope. A letter, handwritten...
Hello,
a few days ago I was sitting on the beach in the evening and your message in a bottle washed up. I was surprised that something like this still exists in the age of email and cell phones, until I saw the date.
Three years is a long time. But it's also a long way from Germany to here.
Anyway... you must have been pretty messed up when you wrote that letter. I'm not trying to poke open any wounds, but I'm gay too and I can tell you that it's really easy to live with today if you let it.
Today, we would both have to be about 19. And like fire and water. But I'm sending you my email address anyway. Maybe you can pull yourself together and write me an email. Let me prove to you that being gay is not an illness, as your father has drummed into you.
Life is always worth living.
I hope to hear from you soon. All the best. Danny
Phillip was perplexed. He had never expected that. His thoughts from back then... now, three years later, someone had actually responded and very sympathetically. However, Phillip couldn't imagine whether he would get involved in Danny's experiment. But he would definitely get in touch with him, but now he had to go to college first; he couldn't miss the second reading.
That evening was the day. He, Phillip Brüggemann, was going to make contact with a “like-minded person” for the first time. He was already shaking in his boots as he composed the first e-mail to the boy he didn't know. He might have been 19, but he was still as timid as he was three years ago.
He spent a quarter of an hour working on the right e-mail. Just to be able to wait. But he didn't have to wait that long. A chat window unexpectedly opened on his messenger and revealed that a Danny had just logged on.
“Hi Phillip.“ He really didn't waste any time.
“Hi,” Phillip wrote back. He had no idea what this chat would change.
Sympathy existed after just a few sentences written and Phillip realized for the first time that someone was really listening to him. So time passed and dawn was already breaking when Danny made him an offer that took his breath away at first.
“You have to live, Flip. Clear your head and since that's not possible in Germany, just come to Madeira for a few days.”
“And how should I do that?”
A big smiley face appeared in the messenger.
“Book a flight and get on the plane. Simple.“ Phillip shook his head. He had
ideas.
“And what about the semester?” Phillip again reacted completely reactionary. “I can't just leave in the middle of the semester.”
“Can't or won't?” Even though he couldn't hear Danny's voice, he knew that there would be a certain sharpness to it when they faced each other. And above all, he couldn't say anything to dissuade him. Over the next week, many lectures were canceled due to preparations for the graduating students. And he had nothing to lose either.
“Ok,” he wrote back to Danny. ”I'll do it. I'll come. Next week. I'll book a flight today and let you know today. Ok?”
Again, an oversized smiley appeared on the screen. That settled it.
Passengers of flight LH446 from Hannover to Funchal are requested to board at gate 4 now. All guests to flight...
“And you're really sure you want to do this?” Maike asked, looking worried. She had brought Phillip to the airport.
“No turning back,“ Phillip replied resolutely. He even smiled a little.
Maike no longer recognized her roommate. Phillip had been in contact with Danny for a week now, and in that week he seemed to have opened up to the outside world. Which made her increasingly happy.
“And don't pick up any hot guys,” Maike joked.
“I can't guarantee that,” Phillip cheekily replied, before saying goodbye to his roommate with a kiss on the cheek and going to the boarding. A baffled Maike was left behind.
Dear ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing in Funchal shortly. It is 27°C outside in bright sunshine. Captain Miller and his crew thank you...
Two hours had flown by. Now, just before landing, Philip's heart began to beat faster. In just half an hour, he would meet the man who had managed to snap him out of his lethargy in just one week.
“Just a quick wash,” was the first thing that crossed Phillip's mind as he reached the airport terminal with the airport bus. Hopefully Danny wasn't there yet.
He was lucky. Danny arrived just as he was coming out of the airport washroom, reasonably fresh and summer-clad. Phillip was speechless...
Danny was not what he had expected. What had he expected? Rather a guy like the average. But Danny was clearly not average. He was tall, athletic, which could be easily seen under his tight-fitting clothes, and blond. For many gays “the” dream man.
“Hi.” Danny beamed from ear to ear. ‘You must be Phillip?”
Phillip nodded, both petrified and enchanted at the same time.
“Well, let's get going then, I'm parked in a no-parking zone.’ As a matter of course, Danny took Flip's suitcase and walked ahead. This gave Phillip a moment to catch his breath before following him.
“And how do you like the landscape?“ They had been driving across the island for about half an hour, always heading towards Puerto Moniz in the north-west of the island.
“It's beautiful,” Phillip replied hesitantly. He was overwhelmed by the impressions of the island and the man next to him.
“Yes, it really is,” Danny replied, concentrating again on the narrow coastal road.
“Do you live here alone? On the island, I mean?“ Phillip's curiosity was now beginning to grow.
“No,” replied Danny, fully concentrated, “my parents also live on the island in Funchal. I moved to Puerto Moniz a year ago for work.”
“What do you do?“ This was one point they had not yet clarified.
“Actually, I work at the reception, but at the moment it's vacation for us, since there are no vacations in Germany or elsewhere. So I have plenty of time.” Danny smiled mischievously at Phillip again.
“So, here we are. Everyone out.” Danny stopped his jeep in front of a larger house with a wooden gate.
“This is where you live?“ Phillip looked at the grounds with the pool as he entered the property.
“Yep,” Danny replied, took Phillip's suitcase and set off. “Second floor, apartment 3.” This could only be too good to be true. Unbelievable!
“Here you go.” Danny, being the perfect gentleman, held the door open for his guest. ‘First door on the right is the guest room.”
“Wow.’ Danny smiled embarrassedly at Phillip's reaction. The room was bright and nicely furnished. The question of financing arose. But Phillip wanted to avoid dealing with something like that on the day of his arrival at all costs.
“First unpack. I'll be in the garden preparing your welcome barbecue. When you've settled in, you can join me. Oh, Danny turned around again as he left, “you can take off your shirt. We are alone in the house. The other apartments are only occupied in midsummer and late fall. So I'm practically the only permanent tenant in the complex.”
“Okay.” The usually so prudish Phillip felt quite differently in the face that he would soon see his host only in shorts and topless.
“Good. See you in a bit.” Danny disappeared through the door.
Air... Phillip needed air. He opened the large window and breathed in the sea air, which was so familiar and yet so different, like the air at the North Sea.
He began to carefully store his clothes in the closet. In five minutes, he had stowed everything important. And now... off to the garden... He rummaged for a matching swimsuit and a shirt. But what had Danny said... without a shirt, whether he dared to do that, that would mean a big leap over his own shadow. He thought about it briefly and made his way outside.
His eyes fell on Danny, who had just lit the grill. His six-pack glistened with sweat. He looked at himself. Okay, granted, he wasn't an Adonis. But no fat where it didn't belong either. Actually quite handsome, even if his father had always denied it.
“Hey, there you are at last.” Danny beamed like a Cheshire cat, while he scrutinized his guest and his body. ‘A beer?”
“Yes, please.’ Phillip gratefully accepted the beer. Suddenly he no longer felt so uncomfortable in his own skin.