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Nervously, Lauri glanced from his vocabulary notebook to his notes for Raimund and back to his muesli, trying to reconcile studying at the last minute with eating. His sister Karen sat across from him, amused. Unlike her, who could leisurely raise a teacup to her mouth, read a book and even chat with their housekeeper Maya, he was making a terrible mess of it. At least she had once again suspiciously provided him with cocoa that morning.
Karen suddenly giggled and put the book down. ‘Don't even try, little brother. You're just a man and multitasking isn't functionally intended.’
Lauri looked around for a moment, then gave her the finger, because Maya was just about to open the fridge. Before he got even more flabby, he preferred to get up, down his cocoa and stuff the vocabulary booklet into his backpack.
Karen rose as well and straightened her cute black cardigan. ‘It's raining,’ she stated a little disgustedly. ‘Do you want me to drive you, Lauri? I have a class in a few minutes, too.’ Not only had she gotten her driver's license a while ago, but of course she had gotten the car to go with it. Her studies in dentistry often required her to make the early trip into the city to the university.
There was something about riding with her, especially in rainy weather. She and Lauri had the same taste in music and got along great. When his girlfriend Elisa caught them together on the golf course, she would talk ecstatically about clothes with Karen for an hour. And his mate Tim was crazy about Karen and always blushed endlessly when she dropped her brother off at school. But Lauri had other plans. ‘No. I'm going with Raimund. I still have to do that to him anyway...’
‘Please! Please don't tell me that you've done the homework again for that crazy...’ she looked around at the housekeeper, who had just left the room. “...ass!” She pushed a cute black glittering hair clip at her temple into her light blonde hair.
Lauri blinked. ‘I never have,’ he lied, unmoved. ‘No. I still have to give him his MP3 player back.’ Actually, it had been Lauri's player. He had given it to Raimund as a present not too long ago. Unlike Lauri and Karen, whose parents, thanks to their practices as a dentist and orthodontist, had more money than Scrooge McDuck, she should be overcome by desire, Raimund was poor.
Raimund's mother had separated from her husband after a rather unpleasant, very short marriage. The guy had then first sunk into unemployment and then completely disappeared. He was probably violent, at least not the type of man a woman wanted to raise her child with. Raimund's maternal grandmother had already thrown her daughter out of the house during her apprenticeship because of disputes; the two no longer spoke to each other. The paternal grandparents were more like their son.
Thus, Raimund's mother Judith was a completely abandoned, single and completely chaotic mother. She had come to the village while fleeing from her ex-husband when Raimund was about four years old. Her decrepit car was crammed full of her belongings and some animals that Judith also fed. With this chaos, they moved into the small gatekeeper's cottage on the old tracks, thanks to some connections, and began to live there more than they resided.
Unfortunately, Judith was the perfect miscast as a mother. She was soft, highly disorganised and absent-minded. About her decision to dye her hair, she could forget to pick up her son from kindergarten. She couldn't say no to anyone or anything, which led to her acquiring an unspeakable number of strange pets. At the same time, she had a tendency to get involved with men who took advantage of her, and all of this left her with very little time for her son.
Once a man had taken advantage of Judith again, she realised after very tiring conversations with Maya and others what a loser she had chosen and ended the affair. But she had never been vindictive if someone had taken advantage of her once.
Her son Raimund was less forgiving. If he found out that a guy was taking advantage of his mother, he would take revenge, and in a very creative way. He was notorious for this, and it wasn't uncommon for him to drag his friend Lauri into these harebrained plans and actions.
Raimund and Lauri had been in the same kindergarten group since he and his mother had appeared in the village. In silent agreement with her ethical ideas, the housekeeper Maya had taken over the regiment not only over Lauri and Karen, but also over the wild Raimund.
And Raimund was wild, all right. When Judith, in the sixth month of her pregnancy, had found herself not just a few kilos heavier but actually and surprisingly pregnant, she had very romantically wished for a son to be named Raimund. He should always smile angelically and be mild and well-read and just wonderful. He should have black curls like his father, whom Judith had just married, full of romance and in a hurry. Unfortunately, she had forgotten the unfortunate flirtation with the red-haired bakery truck driver a few months earlier.
She had actually had a son. A Raimund, because she had insisted on the name. But that's where the similarities between dream and reality ended. Raimund was red-haired like the unfortunate baker, from birth and it got steadily worse. This led to the scandal with her current husband, who couldn't count and therefore didn't realise that he was only with Judith after she had conceived. It earned her a black eye, a broken rib and a new life in the village. Actually a lucky break for Judith and it was the lucky break for Raimund. Unfortunately, Raimund was not only red-haired, but did not fit in with his mother's ideas in other ways either. He was never mild, rarely smiled, did not like to read and was about as wonderful as a root canal treatment. Raimund was the kind of son who would be perfect for advertising contraceptives.
Of course, this was largely due to the fact that Judith didn't educate him at all, just blinked in confusion when yet another neighbour, the farmer from across the way, the mother of a child with whom Raimund had fought, the baker, where he had stolen something, or Lauri's parents, where he had broken something, talked to her and gave her strict lectures.
There were only two people who had Raimund completely under control. One was Maya, with her energetic manner and the ability to bribe him with food or punish him by depriving him of the right to sit at the table in her kitchen. The other was Lauri. One look from Lauri's brown saucer eyes immediately made Raimund nervously ask if something was wrong. If Lauri's eyes started to well, Raimund was ready to beat the world to make everything right again.
Raimund's mother had been confused by the unwanted but sorely needed help from Maya, but she had gone to work, taken care of her animals and men, and probably gladly forgotten about her son's many worries about money and other little things. As a saleswoman in a bookshop two towns away, she was as confused as she was popular with customers. At least she had the unique gift of remembering pretty much every book that a customer had ever bought. This made her a good choice when someone in the area needed a birthday present.
So thanks to the energetic Maya, thanks to Lauri's enthusiasm for this wild friend and thanks to Lauri's relaxed, uninformed parents, it was not uncommon for Raimund to magically turn up at Lauri's dinner table after kindergarten and after elementary school to do his homework. Raimund had only managed to get into high school because Lauri did his homework, helped him with tests, constantly kicked him in the butt and generally made sure that his friend didn't lag behind.
Raimund had made sure that the somewhat chubby Lauri with the thick glasses was not teased without getting a punch in the nose, that he was not teased when he had to wear a squint eye patch, because then Raimund would also give him a punch in the nose. That he was not teased later because of the bulky braces that he had to wear thanks to his father, because otherwise Raimund would have given him a good punch on the nose, and that no one dared to tease him during physical education when he once again came in last because then he would have received a good punch on the nose.
Their childhood was thus characterised by a constant symbiosis of well-being and security. Lauri protected Raimund from the chaos at home and from being left back at school. Raimund protected Lauri's childlike emotional well-being and spoiled him almost more than his own parents and big sister did.
Raimund himself was happy to take care of his own interests, since Maya managed his physical well-being and Lauri his mental well-being. He played handball in a team twice a week. He was so aggressive that he was incredibly good at it. He played a lot on an old guitar that Judith had given him, and he worked almost every evening in a bar, where he occasionally provided live music on the guitar. Most of the money was spent by Judith on various animals, their food or veterinary bills. Raimund was very loyal to his mother and gladly gave her the necessary money. Since Judith was too confused to realise that her savings, which she kept in a preserving jar, should have been used up long ago, she didn't notice it either. He also invested his money in a scooter because, at the age of fifteen, he no longer wanted to use the school bus or a bicycle.
His wild red hair, the very picture of a mysterious father, now also shone towards Lauri because Raimund had pulled his helmet off his head. That, too, was typical of him. He threw the helmet to Lauri, who put it on, enjoying the fact that Raimund cared so much about him, even if he hid it quite well behind the excuse that he would then be the cool one who would ride without a helmet.
Raimund laughed at Lauri, who, grumpy from the Monday feeling in his bones, climbed onto the scooter after he had straightened his backpack. Raimund's bag had disappeared into the luggage box at the back, so Lauri was able to lean perfectly against him. Before Karen could step out of the house to make snide comments about her lack of motorised transport, the scooter roared into life and sped up the hill out of the village.
The school wasn't far, and it was an easy ride by bike, but Lauri would never have swapped that for the chance to snuggle up against the strong back, while Raimund already shouted the wild plans of the day over his shoulder, or asked him about missed homework.
Raimund chained his scooter in front of the school, then Lauri handed him the vocabulary list. ‘This is yesterday's list, here is last week's. I've marked the words that will statistically be on tomorrow's test with a dot. Make sure you don't have the cheat sheet in your pencil case again, Rai, because that's the first place Schulz will look today.’
Raimund grumbled a small thank you and brushed the rain out of his hair, then his latest brainwave was discussed. While they waved to their friends from the class, he announced: ‘Saturday is the Easter bonfire. We'll do it Friday night. It's supposed to rain, but it'll be fine. Judith's new boyfriend wants to go camping with her and stares at the weather report every five minutes. They're out of the way. Your millionaire parents are flying out again, aren't they?‘
’Hm, they are. Camping? Isn't it freezing?’
‘Sure, he just wants to get her out of the house and away from me anyway. She had a family crisis the other day, wanted to do something with me, I don't know what that's about. He's driving her away again.’ Raimund pushed the strap of his olive-green bag, full of colourful patches, a little higher on his shoulder. “Are you coming, Princess?” He grinned.
Lauri frowned. Once, in primary school, thanks to his blonde hair, which was much too long at the time, he had been given the job of the stupid princess in a Christmas play because the real princess had thrown up out of fear or perhaps thanks to a virus, and the damage was done. For months, he was nothing but the princess's prince for the class. It was the only time Raimund had been involved and no one had been hurt.
At some point, Lauri had shaved off his hair with his father's long-hair clippers, which had earned him a period of wearing very thick caps and officially just looked awful on his round face. The other kids had forgotten about the princess thing, only remembering it very rarely, but Raimund had got into the habit. Lauri couldn't get out of the number. Since then, Raimund called him Princess. But he did it in a loving, almost affectionate way. As if the expression was a term of endearment for him. Fortunately, or perhaps because of that, he only did it when they were alone. Still, there had to be a punishment. Lauri punched him briefly with his elbow. ‘Ass. Let's see. Maybe I will go to Cyprus with my parents after all.’
‘Cyprus this time? I see. I'll do it without you. Farmer Franz was there with the tractor this time, and he always leaves the keys in the ignition on the old turnip. I can manage that on my own.’ Raimund stretched his only insufficiently shaved chin energetically.
Lauri sighed and rummaged busily in his backpack. ‘Let's see. I'll tell you on Wednesday what I'm doing.’ He liked to keep Raimund in suspense, enjoying the fact that his friend did care. But it was clear that Cyprus would never be able to compete against a harebrained idea of his friend and crush. Besides, he wanted to use the Easter holidays and the absence of his parents for the plan. It had to be, as much as he was afraid of it. Sighing, Lauri wondered how he should tell Raimund about his feelings. He was terribly afraid that for the first time in his life he would get his nose broken by his best friend and brother.
They parted in front of the school, Raimund had to memorise the vocabulary at the last second, and Lauri joined his friends to find out the latest gossip and the upcoming Easter plans. He blocked out the chatter and thought about his own plan. He had to do it soon. Easter was perfect, the old folks were away, Karen was busy with her best giggling friend, who was probably supposed to spend the night, and he and Rai would steal the tractor from Farmer Franz in a cloak-and-dagger operation to pull apart the branches at the Easter bonfire.
According to Raimund, it was scandalous that many animals had to die in these Easter fires because people were too lazy to check under the bushes and tree stumps before burning them. So this year he was determined to make their Easter bonfire unsuitable as a death trap and to free the rabbits and hedgehogs and mice from it, before everything was to be burned the next evening thanks to the wet with the help of petrol.
The action was crazy to the power of ten and typical of Raimund. He had stolen all the fishing equipment at school one year because he found it scandalous that the fish had to suffer just because a teacher wanted to start a fishing club. The following year, in a cloak-and-dagger operation, they had moved all the trout from the breeding pond to the large lake. Weeks later, the police were still trying to figure out who the thief was. They didn't realise that it could have been teenagers with a scooter, a small trailer and three buckets of water.
Raimund had put up a huge poster pointing out that one farmer was stuffing his animals full of antibiotics when he had noticed it. Raimund was extremely active in such matters and therefore also very exhausting, but Lauri liked that about him. He hoped that it was precisely Raimund's way of being so active, so protective of the weak, that would allow him to survive the debate in his own case, perhaps even with an unbroken nose.
The lesson, the vocabulary test including a search for a cheat sheet by teacher Schulz in Raimund's pencil case, and the breaks passed by Lauri rather unnoticed. He thought about the words he wanted to use to explain himself. It was like that. Raimund had been like a brother to him, all these years, and also his best friend. He had been his buddy, his student, whom he had taught so many things, and at the same time a teacher from whom he had learned the important things in life. Since last summer, however, Raimund had become something new to Lauri. Something that scared him. First love, maybe the only one, he was still undecided. The fact was, right now Rai was his only love.
Since last summer, Lauri had had a crush on Raimund, and a really big one at that. It was terribly painful, just like in the best depressing songs. It was beautiful. It was a wild feeling that wanted to be free, but wasn't allowed to be. Frightened, Lauri had locked up and hidden this feeling.
He had spent hours on the internet gathering information. It was perfectly okay for him to have a crush on Raimund. That was what it was called. From a social point of view, it could be difficult here and there, but difficult was Raimund's middle name, that much was already clear to Lauri. But was it really okay for him? Somehow Lauri was happy about these beautiful feelings and at the same time he viewed them with concern.
His life had not been particularly passionate or exciting so far. He hadn't really wished for that. He liked the calm and regularity of his life. He enjoyed living it in peace and was not wildly active like Raimund. The thought of a wild action on his own initiative rather frightened Lauri. But his feelings didn't get better, only clearer, louder. He had agonised over this last summer, during which Raimund had gotten a pretty sharp body from playing a lot of handball, beach volleyball at the lake and his job as a harvest worker. Lauri had noticed this tacitly, of course, but his sister Karen had expressed it verbally. She had cast an appreciative glance at Raimund's almost naked figure at the lake and then told her friend Rebekka, ‘The red plague fly is slowly becoming quite a sight.’
Rebekka had added, with expert knowledge, ‘Considering the hair, it's a miracle that he's getting so much tan and not walking around like a lobster.’
Lauri had followed their gaze and hadn't hidden it well enough, it seemed. In the following, he had to be annoyed by the two girls because of his alleged jealousy of Raimund's muscles. That wasn't true at all. Lauri was not muscular or even athletic-looking, but he had left the total chubbiness of his childhood behind him to some extent, even if he would never look slim or trained.
He played golf quite well and enjoyed it. So he played golf a lot, which helped him get a little fitter even against his own will, and he had gotten a good tan and very light blonde hair from sailing. He was actually quite content with himself. He had always been a realist and more was just not possible for him. He didn't have a big belly or butt anymore, so that was something. His face was still soft and round, but he hadn't developed any severe skin problems, unlike the neighbour's son, who now went to therapy twice a week. He hardly had a beard that needed shaving, and he had his brown saucer eyes, with which he repeatedly got away with it with the girls in the golf club and with the English teacher, as well as with their housekeeper Maya, and with his parents.
No. This summer, Lauri was quite happy with the way he looked. It was his psyche that worried him. No matter how motivating the internet trumpeted that it was okay to confess to your best friend that you had a crush on him. On the internet, they were certainly best friends who weren't called Raimund, otherwise they wouldn't have been so happy about it. And so Lauri was secretly, very quietly and only to himself madly in love with his friend.
But it suited him that this feeling was directed towards Raimund. Lauri had never done anything wild in his life that didn't have to do with Raimund. Alone, he was well-behaved, sweet, lame, boring. He did well in school, which was pretty good. He always went sailing in the sailing school in the summer and he trotted across the golf course with his father and mother twice a week. On Wednesdays and Fridays, when they closed their practices earlier. On the golf course, he always talked very nicely and kindly to the other children of the rich people who also romped around there.
He even spoke very kindly and nicely to Elisa from the parallel class. She was the crush for him, from the point of view of his sister and parents. Elisa's parents were both doctors with their own practices, so she and her parents appeared on the golf course on Wednesdays and Fridays. As soon as Elisa appeared, Lauri had to stand by her and be nice to her. That wasn't difficult for him; she was a totally nice girl and quite pretty, but nothing more. Lauri didn't feel wild around Elisa in any way.
And that day, too, Lauri dutifully trotted along to the bike racks with the others from the clique, where they were still hanging out. He smiled at Elisa, who now even wanted something from him, he promised her best friend Fiona that he would come to Elisa's birthday party, and he agreed that he would go sailing with his school friend Tim at the weekend after Easter, if the weather held up.
The conversation with Elisa, who asked Lauri about his Easter plans, was interrupted impatiently by Raimund's screeching horn. ‘Come on!’
Lauri blinked at Raimund and hastily said goodbye to Elisa, to whom he shouted as he ran off, ‘I'm probably not even going to be there. Cyprus or something is on the cards!’
When he took the helmet from Raimund, he said somewhat reproachfully, ‘What's the matter? Today is Monday, you don't have gym or work, do you?’
Raimund looked at him briefly, then bowed his head. ‘I don't want to freeze here and wait for the next rain.’
‘Well. We're having fish today, are you coming anyway?’ Being an activist, Raimund had been a vegetarian for a while and didn't even want to come over for dinner when there was fish or meat. That's why Lauri often asked for pancakes or rice pudding or vegetable soufflé from Maya.
Today Raimund seemed to be in a better mood, or he wanted something from Lauri, because he nodded curtly. ‘I don't want to go home either, Judith's latest disaster is probably still there,’ he explained.
‘Your new guy doesn't work either?’ Unemployment was typical for Judith's guys.
‘Yes, a hairdresser, they're closed on Mondays. But he's still a nincompoop. He's much too old for her. Besides, he cut her hair badly.’
Sighing, Lauri tightened the strap on his helmet and was surprised by Raimund's rough fingers plucking out one of his hair strands that had become too long again. Raimund looked at him for a moment, then smiled apologetically. ‘Hey, I'm sorry about your flirtation with Elisa, princess. I'll make it up to you, okay?’
‘I'm not flirting with her,’ Lauri protested indignantly. Annoyed, he tried to ignore his hot ears and folded his arms because Raimund was laughing at him again. These were the things that made the silence so difficult for Lauri. Raimund was rough, wild and never affectionate, except with him. With Lauri, Raimund was gentle, tender, even affectionate. But what did that mean?
What did those looks into the eyes, the touches mean, sometimes the back of the hand, sometimes the hair? Raimund was usually so outspoken, so why did he touch Lauri, smile at him so sweetly and say nothing else? It had to mean that he simply didn't want anything from Lauri, except to be his brother and protector. Fortunately, Raimund then drove off quickly and didn't bring up this embarrassing topic again.
They had lunch together with Maya and Raimund then had Maya sew a new patch on his bag, which was already covered with colourful items. This time it was a patch with two figures in top hats holding hands. A bit like the figures on toilet doors. Lauri looked up in astonishment from his laptop, where he had looked up the sign on the internet. ‘Raimund, do you even remember what all these signs stand for?’ He looked at the colourful mess. “What Maya is sewing on there is for same-sex marriage, isn't it?”
Maya looked at the symbols inquiringly, then said critically. ’Raimund, then maybe I should have sewn it next to the other one from the other day, huh?’ And when she tapped on it, Lauri's mouth went dry. It was a lambda symbol on a rainbow background. And before he could stop himself, his mouth asked, ‘Rai, are you gay with a symbol?’ Hope made him dizzy and his heart race.
Raimund grinned at him. ‘Judith's last failure in men was this really funny guy. Karsten. He's in the police, border patrol or something. He was fit, uncomplicated and nice. She picked him up in the cactus when she came to pick me up. And what can I say? Karsten hadn't stolen her furniture and valuables, he had treated her nicely and even paid her, he didn't have her do his laundry or talk her into getting some sick dog. He helped her when the fence fell over again the other day. He wasn't impotent like last year's guy, I could hear that much...’
Maya coughed softly and Raimund grinned apologetically, but continued. ‘…he didn't have a thousand weird diseases and he didn't have a thousand illegitimate children who had to be fed every weekend. There had to be a catch. Well, recently Judith confessed to me that he had probably gone both ways. He wasn't just with her, but also with a man. She had forgotten about a date and, typically Judith, went to see him the next morning to apologise. She must have surprised the two of them in bed. Classic. Typically Judith, she started by making them both a coffee and listening to their story. Karsten didn't dare actually come out and told her that he thought she was nice, wouldn't get him in trouble, didn't want to get married and that he could have her as an alibi alongside his lover. Well. Typically Judith, once again.’
Lauri gaped open-mouthed and looked at Maya, who pushed the needle through the thick fabric of the bag with a concentrated look and pretended that she wasn't part of the conversation. ‘How does Judith always do that? She really has a tracking device for totally messed-up men, doesn't she?’
Raimund shrugged. ‘He said he really liked her. I believe him. But liking someone and loving them are two different things, aren't they? At first they even wanted to try it as a threesome, but that was too complicated for her, you know Judith. And now I'm meeting Karsten again at the Cactus and he's asked me if I'd like to take part in a petition. In Germany, gay couples aren't allowed to marry. I didn't know that! Our country is totally behind the times! It's totally lousy. In Spain, gays are allowed to marry, but they're Catholic over there! Cool, isn't it?’
Maya coughed again and cut the last thread. ‘Done. I don't want to hear that word again at my dining table,’ she said, looking sternly over her frameless glasses. Then she got up and grumbled as she stretched her back. ‘Lauri, you haven't taken your laundry down. I have Easter off, you have to wear clean clothes.’
‘He can do his own washing from time to time, Maya.’ Raimund jumped up and kissed her on the cheek. ’Thanks!’
Lauri looked at the colourful patches and couldn't fight back. His heart was pounding. Now was his chance, right? Now he had to tell Raimund. Karen wasn't there. Maya was just throwing on her ugly transition jacket and waved at them, and Rai and he were sitting so close together.
‘Hey, Rai?’ With trembling fingers, Lauri fumbled with the tasteless Easter basket on their table.
Raimund threw his bag on the floor and said, ’Well, come on, Lauri!’
‘How?‘ Lauri looked up anxiously and was surprised again by Raimund's fingers, which plucked his hair to the side. “Princess, your hair has become really long, soon I'll call you Rapunzel.”
’Ass! What?‘
’Are you in love with Elisa?’
‘What? Why would you say that? No way!‘
’Well, you've been so absent lately. Always daydreaming. Just now, too. I babble on and on and you just stare ahead. I was even allowed to call you princess. Am I boring you?’ It suddenly sounded urgent, serious.
‘No! No! I'm just... tired, Rai. I don't fancy Elisa, really.‘ He was so distracted because he only needed to hear Raimund's voice to drift off into a dream world. It wasn't getting any better, it was getting worse.
’Do you want to sign up for this marriage thing too?‘
’Hm. Absolutely. It's really unfair, I think too.’
‘I'll bring it to school after the holidays, then we'll do it with everyone. We'll make a campaign out of it. Are you coming Friday night? You can drive the tractor, you've at least had some practice. I can't do it so well without you.’ Raimund was already jumping up.
‘Of course. I'll call my parents right away and tell them to fly to Cyprus on their own. I didn't feel like going there anyway.‘
’Great. See you!‘
’Wait a minute, Rai! Are you working tomorrow?‘
’Sure. I'm at the cactus. Why don't you come with the others? You can bring Elisa too.’
‘I don't want to. No, I have a theatre evening with my parents tomorrow, I'll come on Thursday, okay?’
Raimund grumbled his okay to himself, so Lauri followed him again into the utility room. ‘Rai, I'm not into Elisa, honestly not.’ They looked into each other's eyes briefly and Raimund grinned weakly. ‘Well, luckily. I was afraid I'd lose you to some snipe.’
A moment later, Lauri was sitting alone at the dining table, staring at the Easter arrangement. His thoughts were in a whirl. Raimund wasn't against gay relationships. Of course not. But what would happen if his own best friend suddenly belonged to that group? Would they no longer be able to look at each other? No longer be able to touch each other? Lauri's heart beat with fear. He knew he had to come clean about this before it got ugly. But he didn't want to lose Raimund.
The rest of the day, Lauri was completely dull and was glad that they only had two more days of school before the holidays gave him a respite. After all, only one more year of school and then he was free. Although that was relative again. Karen was studying dentistry, her boyfriend was studying dentistry. Lauri was expected to study dentistry. He felt queasy when he heard the sound of the drills, the smell made him feel as uncomfortable as it did for most people. He didn't want to be a dentist. He wanted to... sighing, he threw himself on his bed and took out a picture of Raimund and himself. They had put their arms around each other and laughed at the camera. He was cute and blond and a bit too chubby, Raimund was lanky and strong at the same time and with his red hair. Lauri just wanted to stay with Raimund. Where and how was almost irrelevant.
The Thursday before Easter came faster than Lauri would have liked. With it came his next date with Elisa. She was totally sweet and nice. He really liked her, liked her sense of humour, thought she was pretty with her dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. But he didn't feel any kind of heartbeat when she gave him a deep look from those heavenly eyes. Like now. They were sitting across from each other at a table in the Kaktus, where Raimund worked behind the bar to get the money together for a car. He was already eighteen, after all. One year older than Lauri. He had come to school later. Ostensibly because he was still so wild and immature. In reality, Maya and Judith had thought it would be better if Lauri and Raimund stayed together.
Raimund had brought Elisa and Lauri their drinks and was now chatting with some school friends while he washed the glasses. Elisa had manoeuvred Lauri to the table and looked into his eyes. Somehow, everyone expected them to become a couple now, didn't they? Lauri looked around nervously, met the grinning gaze of her friend Fiona and now wished that his parents had ordered him to fly to Cyprus with them. What a bummer. Now he was pretty much trapped. If only he hadn't come here!
Elisa told him something about a new film and he nodded, hadn't seen it either, but missed his chance to invite her to the cinema because he was watching Raimund, who was somehow talking to a girl for quite a long time. Lauri jumped up, even though Elisa was in mid-sentence. ‘I... have to go to the... toilet, I'll be right back.’
The music was loud and so Raimund leaned in closer as Lauri stared at him across the bar.
‘Save me.’
Raimund blinked. ‘Please?’
‘Save me. Elisa is hitting on me.’ Lauri looked imploringly into Raimund's eyes and found them much prettier than Elisa's. Also blue, but in a happy, bright way. Not blatant or striking, but somehow they lured the gaze in. Or was it always just him?
It wasn't just Raimund's eyes that looked cheerful. He himself now laughed too. ‘Well, okay. I'll save you. No matter how?’
‘As little embarrassment as possible, please.’
Raimund looked at his watch. ‘It's almost half past twelve. I'll be ready in a quarter of an hour. I'll save you then, you help me clean up?’
"Deal.’
A good hour later, Lauri was sitting rather annoyed on Raimund's scooter and grumbled when they arrived at his house. ‘That was a lousy thing to do. You ass! Did you have to do that?!’
Raimund had saved him. From Elisa, who didn't think it was a bad thing, but rather funny. He had sat down at the table with them after his shift ended and, in front of Lauri, started to hit on Elisa like crazy. The full monty. That had embarrassed Elisa a little and Lauri completely lost his cool.
‘What? You don't want her. I think she's really pretty, so can't I flirt a little? But next time, you'd better choose a prince who rescues you in a way that suits you."
Lauri sighed and gave Raimund the helmet back. ’Nah. It was okay. See you tomorrow. Are you picking me up or what?’
Raimund kicked the scooter up. ‘What? Judith has her guy over. I'm sleeping here tonight,’ he decided.
Lauri blinked and his mouth went dry. He didn't let it show, just nodded dully and walked to the door. ‘Fine by me. Maya has the night off. You throw your own bedclothes in the machine, right?!’
Raimund just chuckled behind him and announced, ‘I'm going to take a shower. Will you lay out my bedclothes?’ He rummaged for a T-shirt and his toothbrush in the roomy bag. Typical Raimund, prepared for anything.
‘I need a shower too, so hurry up.’ Lauri walked into his room with great aplomb and folded up his sofa. He heard the shower running and felt a tingly sensation in his stomach at the thought of a naked, wet Raimund. To distract himself, he made up the bed and went straight to the bathroom with his sleeping clothes on when Raimund came to him.
He mechanically showered, dried himself, and smeared the insanely expensive stuff that his mother had brought him on his body. Then he faced the ceremony of brushing his teeth. As the son of a dentist and orthodontist, he naturally had perfect teeth, but they also expected him to behave appropriately with them.
It was half past two when Lauri crept into his room, dead tired. Only his bedside lamp was still burning, and in the dim light Raimund's eyes sparkled mischievously. ‘Were you jealous, Lauri?’
Lauri looked at him in surprise. ‘Jealous of who?’
‘Elisa, because I flirted with her. It was just fun, you know that.‘
’Come on, Rai! You're not that great.‘
’Ouch. I am. But it was sweet that you were so jealous.’
It was just a whisper and Lauri decided that the last sentence shouldn't be considered said. He wriggled under his blanket and turned off the light. ‘Hey, Rai?’
‘Hm?’
‘Has Karsten come out or not?’
Raimund yawned. ‘Nope. He doesn't dare. His boyfriend seems to be okay with it.’
‘Doesn't dare.‘
’Nope. Believe it or not. A grown man is scared.‘
’I believe it. It's not easy.’
There was a pause, then Raimund said quietly, ‘What's easy, Lauri? I think it's a relief not to have to lie all the time, when your colleagues want to set you up with a nice single woman. Why else did he hit on Judith, as a cover? That's exactly why. Judith said that she might have gone along with it, the threesome with the other guy, but she didn't like the reason. If the reason had been that Karsten couldn't decide that he loved them both, then she would have done it, you see? But she didn't want to be in a threesome when the reason is that Karsten needs a fig leaf and wants to use her for it. She didn't think that was right.’
‘That's not right! That's absolutely unfair to her, how does she feel about that? Didn't he think about that or what?!‘
’He didn't want to hurt her. He had only confessed to his friend about Judith the day before and probably wanted to tell her the next day, but that's just how Judith's men are... all a little to completely crazy idiots.‘
’Rai?’
‘Hm? Man, princess, I'm tired!‘
’I was jealous.’ Lauri's heart was pounding wildly as he admitted it.
But all Raimund said was, “Well, that's good. Get some sleep, I have training tomorrow.” And with that, the conversation was over.
2
Lauri was woken up the next morning by someone placing a cup on his bedside table. In the next moment, Raimund settled heavily onto the bed next to him and turned on the TV. A music channel started blaring and Lauri pulled the covers over his head.
Damn Raimund, did he have to be such a morning person? He peeked out from under the blanket and fished for his phone. It was only half past nine. Damn it.
‘Well? Did you sleep well?’ The blanket was pulled off his head, and in the next moment Raimund laughed happily. ‘You look awesome, Lauri! With your hair, you could join the Leningrad Cowboys right now!’
Grumpy, Lauri pushed past his friend to the bathroom. Of course, he had tossed and turned in his bed during the night. His hair looked like it had been through a medium tsunami. After a brushing, toothbrushing and peeing session, he had grown enough to return to Raimund's bed. The mug contained hot chocolate. The expensive kind that his father had brought back from a conference in Belgium. Delicious. A little more conciliatory, Lauri pushed his feet under the covers and sipped from his mug. ‘What are you doing today?’
‘I'll stop by Judith's in a bit, do the washing and feed the animals. After that, I have to go to the neighbours. They're on holiday and Judith promised to feed the fish and stuff. I'm sure she forgot. In the afternoon, I've got two hours of training and then I'll come here for supper.‘
’Then we'll order pizza, okay?’
‘I'll pick it up on my way back. Is the witch coming to your place too, or is Karen gone?"
The witch was Karen's friend Rebekka, who was so obsessed with the occult that Raimund had christened her that. She tolerated it, but otherwise didn't allow anyone that disrespectful title.
Lauri continued drinking his chocolate for a while, then at some point he felt strong enough to answer. ‘The witch will be here. They want to take advantage of the parents being away and mix poison here and smoke pot or something. I've been ordered to become invisible.’
‘Smoking pot, huh?’ Raimund looked into his eyes with some interest, then grinned and wiped along the corner of Lauri's mouth. “Cute.” ’Well, I'm off, I'll see you later. I'll leave the scooter here, you can ride around on it if you like.’
Lauri stared after him. Raimund had always been like that, at least for a few years. A bit too close, a bit too intimate. Until last summer, it had never bothered Lauri. He had felt completely comfortable with this excess of closeness. His innocence in such gentle touches or hugs had truly been lost to him. Now he was no longer relaxed and in a good mood, now he was agitated and worried, and all because of a few glances, because of the light stroking of his mouth.
Lauri somehow got through the day with phone calls to the grandmas and aunts and a good and quite productive fight with Karen. Karen was pretty much the only person Lauri could seriously argue with. And that was only possible when she got her period. That's how he realised it. And that's how most of the arguments ended. Lauri, who looked at Karen, squinting, and, feeling uncomfortable, asked if she was okay. Karen, who looked at him, squinting, and hissed that she was going to get the dark chocolate right away and then would be in her room until further notice. And Lauri, who apologised to her and then, after a good hour, brought her a coffee and a hot water bottle to the sofa.
That afternoon they fought over nonsense, but only on the surface. In reality, it wasn't about him borrowing her MP3 player and not putting it back yet. In reality, it was about Raimund. Karen had been accusing him for ages that Raimund would mess up his chances with girls, that he would drag him down. But since Karen didn't want to come clean and couldn't provide any arguments, she lost this argument. She went to her room irritably after an argument about the MP3 player and Lauri didn't see her again until she let Rebekka in.
Lauri watched them go. Unfortunately, Rebekka had brought a large overnight bag with her. With her hair recently dyed red, she matched her occult obsession. His sister, with her typical family blonde hair, looked a bit out of place by comparison. They were both wearing identical tight jeans, both looked identical and not particularly good in them, and both were already immersed in some mysterious plans. For weeks they had been muttering something about magic and moon phases and eyeing him with a critical look, as if he had something to do with it.
Raimund was next and distracted Lauri from all this. He brought pizza and got beer from the utility room. They ate in front of the TV in Lauri's room and drank beer to build up their courage. They needed it. Franz's tractor was not parked behind the old barn that evening, where no one would see it if they drove off with it, but in the middle of the field. The farmer probably wanted to use it in the morning to push some soil around the Easter fire or had simply left it there out of laziness.
The Easter bonfire had been piled up on the nearby hill, right next to a small grove with one of those historic burial mounds. A sign occasionally led holidaymakers to stray there. When Lauri expressed his concerns, however, Raimund waved them aside.
‘The people from the manor house have gone on holiday. They're not a problem. And the only others who have a clear view of the field are the weird people from the Eichenhof.’
Thoughtfully, Lauri pushed his pizza over to Raimund and emptied his beer. The rest of the farmhouse had been gradually rebuilt over the last five years that it had been in the hands of the virtually invisible people. The barn door had been replaced by a large window, and the overgrown garden had been reworked. But nobody really knew the residents. During the week, you could occasionally see an older woman working in the garden. On weekends, people would sometimes show up, but sometimes the house would stand black and empty. It was also not entirely clear who really lived there. Different men and women were seen there again and again. In the summer, especially on weekends, they bathed in the large lake behind the house or happily chatted as they wandered through the surrounding forests. It was not certain who really lived there.
The village gossips were talking nonsense, although there was nothing to see, only nasty suspicions. ‘There was light in the Eichenhof a little while ago. They're there and they're probably having one of their weird parties again,’ Lauri pointed out.
Raimund took it easy. ‘They don't know their way around the village, so they don't know what we have planned and that Franz certainly didn't want that. I think they don't care if someone is driving around with a tractor or not. They don't think about that.’ He got up and took the beer bottles with him. ‘I'll get some more beer, or do you want something else?’
‘Hm. We've still got some with alcohol in them, they're in the fridge at the back of the utility room.’
Raimund leaned down to him and confused his thoughts because the red hair fell heavily on his face, but he peered at Lauri through the curtain while he picked up the pizza boxes. ‘Which one do you like? The blue or the green poison?’
Lauri laughed and parted his hair with his fingers, then grinned at Raimund. ‘The green one, please, thank you.’ At that moment there was a double knock on the door, and a microsecond later Rebekka was standing in the room.
Lauri felt his face turning red, Raimund sat up and stared at her angrily. ‘Well, witch? Where's your toad?’
Rebekka laughed artificially and humorlessly, ‘Isn't that you? Oh, no, you're already Lauri's toad, I forgot.’ She stepped forward and pulled out some of Raimund's hair. ‘Thanks, that's all I wanted.’ She turned on her heels and stalked off. Raimund and Lauri both stared after her, perplexed.
‘Ouch! What's her job?’ Raimund rubbed his head in annoyance.
Lauri grinned at him. ’They're witches, they've been brewing potions all the time lately. Last week they pulled out some of my hair. So I told them to take some out of my brush next time.’
Raimund blinked, then shrugged his shoulders. ‘We can be glad that they don't need sperm samples for whatever they're cooking up. Honestly, when I jump back in as a frog, Princess, you have to kiss me and release me, yes?’
Lauri laughed and nodded. Unfortunately, Raimund remained in his usual lanky form, so kissing had to wait for the time being. After listening nervously to the girls' room, where there was a lot of giggling, they crept out of the house. Soon they were dressed in dark jackets and armed with flashlights and, thanks to Lauri's inspiration, gardening gloves, on their way to the Easter bonfire.
It was dark all around; the streetlamps had just been switched off at midnight. Only further away, right at the edge of the field, the lights of the Eichenhof shone towards them. The strange people were there again, to hold one of their weekend parties.
Lauri walked silently beside his friend until they reached the field. Franz's little tractor was parked next to a towering pile of pruning and a contingent of old Christmas trees, its shovel lowered like a sleeping beast. They approached the tractor with a shudder and climbed up. They found the embarrassingly hidden key and Lauri just managed to put it into the ignition when they heard voices and jumped.
Raimund hastily extinguished his torch and ducked closer to Lauri. ‘Someone's coming,’ he whispered in his ear. ‘Quiet.’
Lauri could hear his heartbeat booming. Their heads touched, Raimund had put an arm around his shoulders. It was terrible to be so close and yet not close enough. Carefully, Lauri turned his face a little to look at Raimund's tense expression. He looked over to the dirt road with narrow eyes and didn't notice anything. Lauri smiled and let their faces drift together a little more. He was about to close his eyes, overwhelmed by the closeness, when Raimund's finger dug into his upper arm in warning.
Indeed, someone was coming. Two men, judging by the voices. They scolded each other and at the same time hissed at each other to be quiet. It was almost funny.
‘Ouch, Kalle, give me a hand here!‘
’Maik, I'll kill you if you do it again next year...‘
’Give me a break. It's not like I was the illustrious decorator who couldn't decide whether to go purple and silver or gold and burgundy. Ouch! That damn thing is doing this on purpose, I'm telling you.’
‘You just put on the wrong gloves. But let's be honest. Isn't it extremely embarrassing to have to go out to the Easter bonfire in such a cloak-and-dagger operation just because we missed when the trees are disposed of here in the backwater?’
‘Oh Gottele, who was so keen on going to the city again and needed a skiing holiday in the new year? Hm? We've definitely missed it, my dear.‘
’Oh, but it wasn't your renovation attack in the apartment that was to blame, was it? I'm telling you, if I can't get the mud off my shoes tomorrow, then...‘
’Quiet! I heard something!’
Lauri raised his head a little and could see two men struggling with a large Christmas tree that had already lost most of its needles. He grinned. Had they actually forgotten the pick-up date was in February or what? The two must come from the Eichenhof. Unfortunately, he couldn't see much of anything in the dark, and a large, strong hand pushed his head down again as the men got closer.
They threw their fir with little enthusiasm against the mountain of branches and stomped off, arguing in whispers.
Raimund leaned in so close that his mouth touched Lauri's ear. In seconds, Lauri's body was covered in goosebumps, he bit his lower lip and only just caught himself: ‘Let's wait a little longer, then we'll start the tractor and get going.’
Lauri hastily sat up again and moved as far away from Raimund as he could in the cramped cabin. He sat on the sprung driver's seat, with Raimund slanted behind him on a hubcap. Lauri had often been allowed to drive the tractor across the fields as a small boy, so he still vaguely remembered how to do it and was chosen to be the driver. He took a deep breath and rubbed his fingers. He had taken off his gardening gloves to have more feeling for the levers for the shovel. A light drizzle had started and cold air blew uncomfortably around his legs.
He was about to turn the ignition key again when Raimund swore before he grasped his head again and pressed it down. This time Lauri landed with his cheek on Raimund's knee and, sighing, put his arms around it for comfort. When he heard Raimund's somewhat hoarse voice, ‘They're coming back again. Can't they stay away?!’ he just shrugged his shoulders a little and snuggled up with his eyes closed. It wasn't that bad. In his mind, he went over the words he wanted to say after this. He had to do it tonight. He had to tell Raimund about his feelings and get rid of this terrible insecurity.
The two men wandered over to the pile again, arguing about the coniferous Christmas trees, Christmas decorations, Easter decorations and clothes, and hurled another fir tree onto the mountain.
"Oh, Maik! Now it's raining too. Come on, we'd better hurry. One more and we'll have done it, won't we?’
That was obviously enough for Raimund. He jumped up and down from the tractor. ‘Stop! That's enough!’
The two men cried out and held their hands to their hearts in a totally funny, mirror-image gesture, one with his left hand and the other with his right. Then they looked at Raimund rather curiously and took a few steps closer. They described him as a cute young hooligan, which gave Lauri a giggling attack. Raimund puffed up and punished them immediately. He lectured them about how many small animals were burned in the Easter fires every year.
‘And all because people are too lazy to move the piles around a bit!‘
’Yes,‘ one of them said uncertainly, giving Lauri and Raimund a friendly wink. “That's tragic, of course...”
’Exactly! And that's why we're going to do something about it!‘
’We?!’ The two men stared at them in alarm.
Raimund nodded and introduced himself while holding out his hand. ‘Raimund, this is my friend Lauri. He drives the tractor, we drag the branches back and forth and make sure we get the animals out of the way.’
‘I'm Maik and this is my friend Karsten,’ the smaller of the two men surrendered to his fate with a sigh.
Lauri stepped closer and shook both of their hands, which resulted in them covering him in tree resin. The drizzle was already soaking through his clothes. Irritated, he asked Raimund, ‘So what now? Should I get started or what?’
‘Yes. You do your thing with the tractor and we'll get out of the way first."
Lauri climbed up and started the tractor, and the men joined Raimund in the protection of the nearest hedge, where they talked and pointed this way and that. It was obviously about the rest of the farm. So it really belonged to these guys? Both of them? Thoughtfully, Lauri moved back and forth a bit before lowering the shovel, just digging into the pile and then moving back. The plan worked quite well and Lauri continued with it.
After a while, he had created havoc with the tractor. The tree stumps were scattered, and the heaps of fir and branches from the last pruning were loosely scattered in a certain radius.
Raimund was thrilled in any case. He jumped on the tractor. ‘You really know how to handle this thing, you never cease to amaze me.’
Lauri just nodded majestically and put on his gloves. He left the lamps burning and in their pale yellow light and the light of their flashlights, they searched the heap for animals. The situation was very sobering. They found a few mice or similar small creatures that quickly scurried away, but no hares, no hedgehogs and nothing else exciting except for a bag of someone's rubbish that Raimund put aside. ‘This is from the Müllers, we'll put it on their doorstep on the way back, they'll be happy.’ He grinned evilly and the man, who the other one always called Kalle, giggled, glad that he didn't want to have Raimund as an enemy.
With a sigh, Lauri suggested after an hour of drudgery that they push the branches back together again halfway. A glance at his wristwatch showed him that it was half past two in the morning. Raimund agreed, and Maik and Karsten, who had done very well, sighed with relief and went with Raimund to get their last and largest fir tree to throw it on the pile. Meanwhile, Lauri used the tractor to do some work on the chaos.
After half an hour, Lauri had restored the worst of the chaos and turned off the tractor. When he jumped down from up there, he landed right next to Raimund. He was standing right next to these two slightly older men, and they were kissing like crazy. They were a perfect match, Lauri thought, even though he was staring at them and didn't know what to say. The taller one, Karsten, had pulled the other one to him with a laugh and was just kissing him on the mouth again when the two of them realised what they were doing.
Maik nervously ran his hand through his thinning hair and looked back and forth between Lauri and Raimund. ‘Sorry. Kalle and I still get carried away with such romantic things every now and then.’
‘Are you really together?’ Raimund asked them cheerfully, turning towards home. As he walked, he grasped Lauri's wrist and pulled him along.
Karsten put his arm around his friend. ’Really and truly. We've been a team for ages. Maiki, it's been almost twenty years, hasn't it?’
‘That's right, Kalle, that's right,’ Maik yawned and stretched. Then he looked at Raimund. ’And you two?’
Raimund looked from Maik's face to Lauri, then down to their hands. For a few steps, he had a firm grip on Lauri's fingers. He let go of the hand as if it had been burnt. ‘We're not...’ he faltered, confused, and looked back at Lauri.
‘We're friends,’ Lauri said softly. He could tell from his own voice that it was a disappointment for him.
But Raimund nodded eagerly and told the two men at great length how he, as the child of an inconsistent slob, had become the foster child of two dentists who had got too rich. ‘And we've been brothers ever since. In a way, he's my brother.’
Lauri nodded wearily. ‘Blood brothers, even,’ he recalled weakly, pulling the tree resin off his fingers discontentedly.
Raimund laughed. ‘That was really embarrassing. Like with Winnetou and so on. We did that too. Shit, that really hurt back then.’
Lauris' fingers slid to the fine scar on the ball of his thumb, which he had retained from this romantic idiocy. The conversation of the others drifted on to different topics. In fact, the two men had bought the rest of the farm as a weekend house. During the week they lived in the city and had a maisonette there. But they liked to spend the weekends, especially in summer and at Christmas, in the romantic house in the village.
"We only live in the barn part. We have rented out the rest of the house to a lecturer who is always there during the week, working, and goes to the city on weekends. She's not so good on her feet anymore and doesn't really want to meet the people here in the village, she says it's too much chatter. Anyway, it's perfect for us with her. We hardly ever meet each other this way. She just has a lot of visitors here who want to relax in the country, and we like to have our parties here.’
‘That's why no one in the village knew who really lived there.‘ Raimund stopped at the edge of the field, where a trail led back to the rest of the farm. “Are you coming to the Easter bonfire tomorrow?”
’Yes. I think we will.’ Maik beamed at Lauri with such joy that Lauri forced a smile. Inside, black thoughts and despair converged. Raimund wanted him around as a brother, as a friend. But nothing more. It was even scary for him. Just how he had let go of his hand. But how could Lauri confess his feelings to him now? He was too cowardly, he was too nervous and he was too pessimistic to do so.
Karsten came over and squeezed his hand to smear more resin on him. ‘It'll be fine, Lauri. Give it a chance, okay?’
‘What?’ Lauri stared after the men, confused, as they walked away with their heads bowed. Suddenly feeling very tired, he turned around and trudged back to the village. Raimund followed him in silence. Somehow the evening hadn't gone as Lauri had planned it. He had wild ideas about Raimund, thought that in return he would have the chance to share his strange, exhausting new feelings with him, but what did he get? Sore muscles and tree resin on his fingers.
‘Hey, don't run like that!‘ A hand was laid on his shoulder, making the wetness even more noticeable.
Lauri shook it off. “Leave me alone, I'm tired!”
He quickened his pace, but was stopped again. “Hey, is it because of those two?”
’Why?’ Lauri walked on, but slower.
‘Well, you've been acting weird since they showed up. Is it because they kissed? Hey, I'll definitely give them my autograph sheet!‘
’You and your damn actions!‘
’It's better than burying your head in the sand!‘
’What? I'm in, but over and over again... at some point you have to do something normal!’
‘What?‘
Lauri crossed his arms. “I don't know.”
’Kissing, like those two?’ Raimund stared at him lurkingly, then laughed, and Lauri blushed bright red. His hope immediately crumbled at Raimund's laughter and it hurt like hell.
He turned in a quick pirouette and ran faster again. ‘Ass.’
‘Please, I didn't mean it.’
‘Upper ass!’ Lauri ran faster. And Raimund didn't catch up so quickly because of the garbage bag. He only caught up with him just before he reached the house.
Since they were running so fast, Raimund always a little behind Lauri and still laughing at him, they at least came back to the house quickly. Raimund still didn't take him seriously. Typical. When Lauri was being bitchy, it just rolled off Raimund's hard shell. He took off his rubber boots and hung his jacket over the heater. ‘My clothes are ruined, Lauri, yours too. Let's throw all this stuff into the washing machine, okay? I'll take care of it tomorrow, too. Did you see that? This Kalle only had street shoes, he can throw those away tomorrow, why didn't they have any proper rubber boots?’
Lauri still stripped the boots from his feet in silence, irritated and angry at himself and his stupid feelings for Raimund. ‘I'll get towels,’ he grumbled, finally, and stomped to the guest bathroom in his underwear. When he came back to the utility room, wrapped in a towel, Raimund was standing there, almost naked, running his fingers through his long red hair.
Longingly, Lauri glanced at his friend's chest and back as he turned to the washing machine. But Raimund came up again the next moment and their eyes met. Hastily, Lauri threw a towel at him and turned to the door. ‘I'll go...’ He didn't get far. A warm hand on his bare shoulder stopped him. Lauri froze. He needed something more than skin contact at that moment. He wanted distance to get his composure back. Looking at the door, he asked a little hoarsely ‘What now?!’
Raimund leaned closer and looked at him from the side. ‘Yes,’ he whispered softly.
"What?!’
‘This is the answer to all the questions you never ask, no matter how much I wait for them.’ Still only this whisper that ran through Lauri's spine and into his stomach. Raimund looked at him inquiringly, then took Lauri's still ice-cold and dirty fingers and kissed him gently on the backs of his fingers.
The term ‘goose bumps’ took on a whole new meaning for Lauri at that very moment. Shuddering, he turned halfway around and leaned against the door. ‘But... why? Since when?’
Raimund leaned against him and traced his fingers with his hand. Then he shrugged and looked down. ‘Always, of course.’ He smiled. ‘Since I first saw you. I was four and you were just three years old. I remember it like today.’
Lauri stared uncertainly at the washing machine, then back at Raimund's face, then down at her hands. ‘And just now? Why didn't you ever... I mean, you never said anything.’
"Lauri, even you must see! You're... the damn princess! For God's sake! I'm just the servant.’ With a helpless gesture, Raimund gestured around him. ’I've always been sure that you wanted to be my brother, nothing more. Elisa suits you, or Tim. They are the suitable princes. They can give gifts and live the life with you that you are used to, that you deserve. Not me, I'm just a...’
‘Stop it! You are... everything!’ Breathlessly, Lauri stared into his bewildered, wide-open eyes. Red-faced, he turned away. He hadn't wanted to be so passionate. But then he pulled himself together and looked into Raimund's mischievous blue eyes again. “For me, Rai, always,” he whispered hoarsely, and in the next moment they embraced each other tightly.
It felt wonderful, but unfortunately they were both too cold for more romance. Shivering, Lauri pushed Raimund's magnificent body away. ‘I'll be sick tomorrow and it's your fault!’ he snapped, unfazed by the elation in his heart, and turned away to go into his bathroom.
Raimund followed him silently. It was only when they were standing side by side in the bathroom and saw each other in the mirror, both blinking disorientated into the bright light, that Lauri was hit by the next dose of reality. He looked down at his body, soft, just a little too chubby and not particularly attractive. After he had fished his contact lenses out of his eyes and put his glasses back on his nose, he felt even more inconspicuous. He cast a shy sideways glance at Raimund's muscular torso, strong, sure hands, broad shoulders and long legs, while Raimund turned on the hot water and began to vigorously clean the resin and dirt from his fingers with a brush and soap.
‘Rai?‘
’Hm. Here, you can have the soap. Thanks to the gloves, it's actually not too bad. It's just that Maik and Kalle got me a lot of resin on my fingers. Why did they have to take blue firs?’
‘Rai, do you really... I mean, do you really like me?’ Lauri scrubbed his fingers energetically and, because of the silence, looked up uncertainly into the mirror.
Raimund stared at him with his merciless narrow eyes. ’No. Like... pah!’
‘What?"
Raimund sighed and dried his fingers on his towel around his hips. This apparently made him aware of the inadequate clothing. He went to his bag and turned away to take out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. ’I don't like you, Lauri.’
Lauri had stared at his bum in the mirror and scrubbed at his fingers with only moderate enthusiasm. He jumped. ‘What? But what did you just...’
Raimund sighed deeply and handed Lauri his dark blue pyjamas from the radiator. Lauri hastily pulled them on, but the cold had also eaten its way into his body for miles. When he turned around, Raimund was kneeling in front of him, taking his hand. ‘Stop being so stupid. Gladly. I'm totally in love, of course.’
Lauri took a breath, but something else happened first. The bathroom door swung open and Karen and Rebekka, the two new witches, appeared and stared at them with eyes rimmed in black. They didn't get a chance to do or say anything. Karen threw her arms up in the air and shouted at Rebekka. ‘You good-for-nothing witch! Shit! Now look at this mess and all because you absolutely had to get hair from Raimund for your damn voodoo! I don't believe it! The spell went wrong!"
Raimund looked up and glared at the two of them, but didn't let Lauri's finger go. ’You women are disturbing the peace here, big time. Get lost, or I'll get nasty!’
‘Shut up, Raimund, you toad!’ Rebekka put one hand on her hip and turned to Karen. ’It's not my fault, Karen! Really. His hair is here in my bag, and I didn't mix them up! Besides, we just brewed the potion the other day. Did you mess up something with Elisa or something?’
Lauri raised his hand, but Karen interrupted his question with an angry ‘And now? Now the spell has gone completely wrong. Just look at them! Oh my God! I can't stand it anymore. I prefer the way it was before. Can we try a reversal spell?’
Tired, Rebekka rubbed her eyes and smeared her make-up. ‘Not until the next full moon, but by then Lauri will surely have lost his innocence, as we know the red toad.’
Lauri clenched his fist. ‘Now I've had enough! What's going on?’
Karen glared angrily. ‘We mixed you a love potion, you and Elisa. We gave it to you and her at the last full moon and it all started well. She wanted to get together with you right away and you had a nice chat. And this full moon I wanted to finish the spell so that it would really work, but something went wrong.’
"Love potion? Spell?’
‘So that you finally have a girlfriend and stop hanging out with that red plague fly. But Rebekka really wanted to use Raimund's hair for something, and something must have gone wrong. Look at yourselves! Before, you at least hung out as friends, but now... God! Raimund somehow got some of the potion for you or Elisa, or he wouldn't be acting so stupid. It's obvious!‘
’Where was the potion in?‘
’In your cocoa in the morning. In your beer tonight, to be on the safe side."
Rebekka furrowed her brow. ’Maybe the alcohol was the problem, Karen?’
Raimund grinned at the two of them. ‘Ah. That's probably it.’ He touched his heart. ‘I drank cocoa with Lauri and switched beers tonight, so I've been dying to kiss him all evening. Well, I don't need to be ashamed anymore, because I know it's the magic's fault.’ He jumped up and gave Lauri a big hug, kissing him on the mouth. The girls screamed hysterically.
Lauri staggered back to the toilet seat and dropped to the floor, then he raised his head and looked at his sister reproachfully. ‘What a load of crap, Karen! Love potion! And from you, really!’
"Yes, but...’
‘I'm gay, always have been, always will be. No amount of witchcraft can change that. I'm bored of Elisa, quite apart from that. I like her, but that's it. We play golf together, that's all I'd ever do with her. I've always been in love with Raimund. I suspect that won't change any time soon either.’
After this lecture, there was an eerie silence in the bathroom for a moment. Lauri asked into this silence, blushing. ‘And now I'd like to go to bed, please, the day was exhausting enough.’
Raimund grinned, also a little red in the ears. ‘Boss has spoken, move!’
The two aspiring witches left, whispering and murmuring, and Lauri pulled himself up at the edge of the sink with a weary sigh to brush his teeth. ‘No wonder the beer tasted like shit. I hope there wasn't any poison in it. Not that I'm still losing hair or...’
A hand stroked around his chest and interrupted his speech. Raimund was hoarse when he said quietly, ‘Lauri, are you really sure that you like me?’
‘Like you? Pah!’ Lauri imitated his friend and grinned. He pointed his toothbrush at Raimund's chest. “I'm in love with you and I said so. That's what you get for all your actions!” He energetically continued brushing his teeth and ignored Raimund, even though he was standing next to him and brushing his teeth thoughtfully and less enthusiastically.
Lauri hastily avoided him and went to bed when Raimund wanted to go pee again. From there he looked at his friend with a slightly pounding heart. However, Raimund first went to the door and turned the key with some force. ‘So. The witches have a break for now.’
Lauri laughed, then he moved a little to the side and knocked on the bed next to him. They looked into each other's eyes and grinned. Immediately afterwards, Raimund lay down next to Lauri and settled down. Hastily, Lauri extinguished the light above their heads and lay down rigidly.
‘Hey, Rai, do you remember when we were kids? You always slept with me when Judith had a crazy man around.‘
’Yes. I remember that. We always slept arm in arm.’
‘Hm. That was nice.‘ Lauri didn't need to say anything more, Raimund's arm slid under his head and after a short hesitation he was able to snuggle up. As they grew warmer, he felt Raimund's big hands stroking over his shoulder. “You? Rai?”
’Hm.‘
’Don't you think I'm somehow... ugly?’
Raimund moved a little to lean on Lauri. ‘Princess, you are the most beautiful in the whole country,’ he then said languishingly and devotedly.
"Ass. Seriously. I'm so chubby and then these stupid glasses and the...’
‘Stop it already. You know that's not true. You're beautiful. Besides, I look totally stupid with my red hair. I'm happy and glad that you put up with me.‘
’You're totally attractive! Your body alone...‘
’Really? My body?’ It sounded lurking. ’Go ahead with that, Lauri.’
The heat in his face didn't stop Lauri from poking his friend in the side. ‘You'd better kiss me instead of making it so unromantic for me.’
‘I thought you'd never tell me that,’ Raimund languished, then he felt his way closer in the dark until their lips found each other.