07-10-2025, 02:57 PM
Once again, I sat there in the garden on the board by the fence that my grandfather had actually cut from wood for himself. He could no longer walk properly, so he often sat here to rest.
I looked into the garden, observing the trees, the green grass that had been freshly mowed the day before. I was alone with my thoughts. I reflected, let the sun's rays warm me, and sometimes, I cried there...
It wasn't easy. When I was 8 years old, my parents brought me to my grandparents in Slovenia. For me, it was rather a foreign country, as I had only known the city of Mannheim in Germany, where I was born and played with the children in kindergarten. The main reason I was left with my grandparents was that I was supposed to go to school here in Slovenia.
No question, it was very difficult at first without my parents. But I quickly grew fond of my grandparents, and there were also children in the village with whom I could play. After a few weeks, I also got to know the remote places in the village, which were usually more interesting than the church in the village. And there was so much to explore. The forests, the large meadows and clearings in the woods, the small river in the valley—all of that fascinated me much more all of a sudden.
Months and years passed. I went to school, just like the other children from the village. But one thing set me apart from the others. I was raised by my grandparents.
When I was 13, I noticed it. I was different from the other boys. I was in the 7th grade, in class 7a. Not that I was a nerd, but I didn't care about football. The boys in my class had only one thing on their minds—football. They played during breaks, free periods, and after school. I felt out of place there.
I was interested in something completely different. I was always with the girls: Tea, Anita, Marie, Denise, and Nadine. It all started in the 3rd grade with a small play. In the following years, we did puppet theater. But it only became really fun when we performed real theater and had a director.
Tea and Anita were the best friends. They were inseparable. They lived not far from each other, so they often walked home from school together. Everyone could make the walk in a quarter of an hour, but they couldn't even manage it in an hour.
Marie was our top student. But she always seemed to have bad luck. Once, the whole class went skiing, and she broke her right leg right at the beginning. I think we had seen almost all her body parts in a cast.
Denise and Nadine also couldn't relate to our football boys. They preferred to hang out with the boys, Simon and Mark, from the parallel class 7b.
One day before Christmas, each class was allowed to organize its own party in the classroom. So we decorated our classroom, our math/physics room. The other classes did the same. In the school competition for the best-decorated classroom, we were worse than the others, and the winner was the parallel class 7b.
"Of course, they would win with their silver stars," Marie was disappointed, as her white stars didn't impress the jury.
"Oh come on. The idea with the long paper and fabric strips is what made them win," Denise tried to comfort her.
A little later, it was already time for most of the class to go home on the school bus at 1 PM. Only Tea, Anita, Marie, Denise, Nadine, and I stayed. We turned up the music, and the Christmas party could begin...
The teachers also started their own party in the conference room since most of the students were already out of school.
"Hi Mark, hi Simon, nice to see you here," Denise was happy. Nadine's smile was also hard to miss.
"Everyone's already gone with us," Simon said.
"Let's dance..." Denise grabbed Mark.
You could also see that Marie's bad mood disappeared in an instant. Everyone helped to move the tables a bit aside to create a larger dance floor. We all danced wildly... Good thing Nadine had all her tapes with her. She was the most eager one in collecting hits that were always playing on the radio and diligently recording them.
Don't be surprised, but in 1988, we kids didn't have CDs yet. We all had cassette players and were proud if we could own our own Walkman.
We danced to Madonna's "Like a Prayer" and were enchanted by the music from the movies "Dirty Dancing" and "Flashdance." We danced closer and closer, our bodies touching, just like we knew it from the movie "Dirty Dancing."
After a while, I went to the table with the drinks. I took my glass, and Mark followed me.
"Sascha, what are you drinking?" Mark asked me.
"Coke with Fanta," I replied, looking him in the eyes.
Our eyes met, and for a few seconds, we looked at each other.
It was as if we were hypnotized. At first, our faces were very serious, and then suddenly, we both smiled. He was a bit taller than me, had brown eyes, and short blonde hair with a few curls.
He took a sip from his Coke glass, turned around, and went to the dance floor, where the girls were just singing Madonna's "Like a Prayer" for the third time, waving their hands in the air.
I watched him leave. Why am I looking at him, I asked myself, but didn’t think any further. I was completely beside myself.
“Come on, Sascha,” Nadine swung briefly to me in rhythm with the music, took my arm, and pulled me back to the others.
Time passed like a blur. We completely forgot about time, soon it was 5 PM and dark outside. We realized the teachers had completely forgotten about us. We cleared away the drinks and our glasses, turned off the music, took our things, and silently fled from the school.
We said our goodbyes. First the girls. Then…
“Mark,” I said goodbye to Mark.
“Sascha,” Mark said quietly, and we hugged. The hug lasted a bit longer than with the other boys.
At home that same evening, a day before Christmas, I thought about Mark. I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of him.
The next day, I was expecting my parents from Germany. I looked out the window and it was snowing heavily. I was all excited all day, wondering when my parents would finally arrive. Grandma tried to distract me, but she couldn’t. It was only when the neighbor’s daughter, Meike, who was a year younger than me, knocked on the door that my mood suddenly changed.
“Good day. Can Sascha come out?” was her question.
“Of course,” Grandma said with a smile on her face.
And I was out of the house in no time.
Meike was in the 6th grade, so one grade below me. She was very curious about why I had come home so late the day before.
“Sascha. What did you do at school yesterday?” she asked.
I laughed: “We celebrated.”
So I told her what we had done, who was there. Of course, I didn’t mention anything about what had happened between Mark and me. However, thoughts of him kept running through my mind.
“Shall we go to the big fir tree?” she suggested. To my relief, otherwise she would have noticed that there was something more at the Christmas party at school. She was kind of my best friend and could read everything from my face.
When we arrived at the big fir tree, to the right of the church on the highest slope in the village, we stopped. It was where we occasionally lit a campfire in the summer since it was somewhat away from the houses in the village. And if my parents came, we would see the car in the distance.
“Your parents are coming today, right?” she asked to start a conversation. Although she knew my parents would come that day.
“Yes,” I answered her briefly.
“Aren’t you excited?” she looked me in the eyes.
“I am.” - In the meantime, I picked up the freshly fallen snow and tried to form a snowball: “It’s working pretty well.” I moved a little away from her and tried to hit the big fir tree in front of us.
“Missed!” Meike shouted and began to laugh at me.
We both tried to hit the big fir tree. After the third throw, I managed to hit the tree. Meike hit it on her first try.
“You cheated. You’re much closer than I am,” I accused her.
She laughed: “Party pooper!”
I didn’t want to dwell on it any longer. It felt too silly at that moment. Normally, I wouldn’t let her get away with that. But my gaze kept wandering back to the road…
“Here come my parents!” I shouted to Meike and pointed my finger towards the car. I was visibly happy and ran back to the village while Meike ran after me.
As always, I was happy that my parents were back with me. I was still not really glad, though. I knew they would soon be leaving again. But being together with family, parents, and grandparents at Christmas is the best. We also celebrated on New Year’s Eve…
After two weeks, they drove back to Germany. I hated the goodbye. It was especially hard for me. And when they left, there was no stopping it, I cried.
The next day was Monday, and I had to go back to school. And when I got up in the morning, it was snowing again. Why did it always snow when we had to go back to school? But even at school, things changed again.
The large school hall, where school festivals were celebrated, was no longer empty as usual. This time, four table tennis tables were set up, and the principal spoke to us with New Year’s wishes. Thus, classes began joyfully in the new year. Playing table tennis was a good change during breaks and free periods.
Then someone surprised me from behind.
“Hi Sascha. Shall we play table tennis together during the big break?” came from Mark.
“Yeah, sure,” I replied, quite surprised and a bit confused. I turned my gaze to him and saw his smile.
We had math for the first two hours with our class teacher. After that, biology with Mrs. Hölein. I could never quite gauge her, even though she was always friendly towards me and I could always answer her questions. Maybe I was just a little afraid of her because she seemed a bit older and strict. This hour also passed, and the bell rang for the big break.
I already saw Mark waiting at one of the table tennis tables. I quickly placed my bag down and picked up the table tennis paddle that was on the table. Other students were also gathering around the table tennis tables and watching us. I was a bit nervous, but I could see that Mark felt the same way.
With the game, we became more relaxed. Simon was there too and counted for us. The game was quite balanced, but I was leading when we switched sides.
"You’re good," Mark whispered to me as he passed by.
"You’re not bad either," I replied.
The game continued. And our spectators were excited about our match. Some from my class were also standing at the sidelines watching the game.
"Give it to him, Sascha. You can do it!" one of the teammates shouted.
I glanced quickly to see who it was and already made a mistake. It was tied again, and there were still three points to win or go into overtime. I pulled myself together. I could handle it.
"Great game," came a voice from the side.
Mark approached me and shook my hand: "You played better. And the better one wins. Isn’t that right?" and looked me in the eyes.
"I enjoyed playing with you, Mark. Maybe again another time?" I invited him to the next game.
"Sure," Mark said happily.
The table tennis tables in the large hall were well received by the students.
For the next three months, I played table tennis with Mark several more times. And again and again, I felt that strange feeling. I looked at him, gazed into his eyes. I examined him from head to toe. I liked him more and more.
The Easter holidays were approaching, and then we wouldn’t see each other for a while. A bit sadly, the last school day before the holidays came.
"What are you doing during the holidays?" Mark asked me.
"Nothing," I replied briefly. "And you?"
"I’m meeting Simon. Maybe we can play basketball on the schoolyard," he said.
"Great," I was happy for him and wanted to end the conversation quickly: "Mark, we’ll see each other again after the holidays," I said sadly.
"Okay, Sascha. See you then," we said goodbye without hugging, without a handshake.
The Easter holidays went by quickly.
On the first school day, then came the surprise. The table tennis tables had been removed from the large hall. But we all had to accept that. It had become much warmer outside, and during breaks, the boys from my class gathered as usual on the soccer field.
And I saw Mark playing basketball with Simon.
I had once again no desire for anything. I ate my sandwich but kept glancing at Mark, at the two of them, as they played basketball. I was lost in thought. And the bell rang for the next class.
There were still two months until the end of the school year. For the end of June, we were preparing a play. A modified fairy tale with three witches and so on.
Marie, Tea, and Anita played the three witches. Denise, Nadine, and I played more minor roles. So, unimportant.
We rehearsed on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. It was so much fun. On some days, we were even at school until 5 PM. We wanted to perfect everything. Especially our Marie, our top student, had a say in it. She took over the directing this time, as our supervisor for the theater group was sick.
One day, after our rehearsal, I walked to the bus stop; it was already the end of May. I was a bit late, so I took a shortcut. I walked between the blocks, and there I ran into Mark.
"Hi Mark."
"Hi Sascha. Are you just coming from school?" Mark asked me.
"Yeah. We were still rehearsing for the play," I replied promptly.
"Are you taking the bus home now?" he asked me again.
"Yeah," I wondered. How did he know I was from the other village? "I’m in a hurry; the bus is coming soon. Bye," and kept walking.
"See you tomorrow," I heard him say.
The bus came right away. Mark's "See you tomorrow" was running through my mind. Did he mean something by that? I was puzzled.
The next day, he was waiting for me in front of the school door.
"Good morning, Sascha," he greeted me.
"Hi Mark," I was a bit surprised. No one had greeted me like that before school.
Then he put his right arm around my shoulder and asked me, "Do you have any plans for this afternoon?"
"No."
"Would you like to come over to my place after school?" his invitation was now expressed.
I was completely surprised. What was he planning with me? What was the harm in visiting him? I agreed.
"We only have six classes today. You do too, right?" he was pretty sure about that. The school bell rang.
"Yes," I confirmed a bit louder.
"Okay, see you then," and he walked in the direction of his classroom.
"See you then."
The hours just had to pass more quickly. I had never looked at my watch so often.
The bell rang for the big break. Mark found me in front of the school door unpacking my sandwich and came over to me.
"Sascha," he addressed me first.
"Yes, Mark."
"I forgot my math homework. I have to finish it during the break. I’ll see you after the sixth period, okay?"
"All good, Mark," I replied, and he was already gone.
Finally, the sixth period was over. I was happy that Mark was taking me home. I was a little excited. I packed my bag and went out of the school. I didn’t see him in the crowd of other students. So, I waited for him in front of the school.
Then I saw him come out of the school door. My joy shot up instantly. I looked at him as he ran down the stairs to me. I would have loved to hug him, but I couldn’t do that. What would others think of me?
"I've been waiting for you, Mark," I greeted him.
"Let's go," which was fine with me.
We walked side by side. We took the shortcut that I usually took to catch the bus. Then we walked for a while, and soon we were in front of his house.
The single-family house was brand new. The white color of the facade had not faded. In the front yard, roses bloomed in two colors – red and white.
He took his keychain and unlocked the front door with the key.
"Here we are. Welcome to my home," he led me into the house.
I focused on the walls, on the things in the hallway. There were his sneakers, which I liked so much. He took off his shoes. I did the same.
Upon arriving in the living room…
"My parents are working. They'll be back later. Would you like something to drink?" he made an effort to be hospitable. Very nice of him.
"A glass of water is fine for now."
Mark went into the kitchen, and I followed him. He handed me a glass of water, and he himself drank orange juice.
"Now I'll show you my room," and I followed him without saying anything.
We went upstairs, and when we reached the top, he pointed to the door straight ahead.
"That's my parents' bedroom," and then he opened the door to his right: "And here, this is my room."
His room was painted in a very soft yellow. On one wall, he had hung posters of Madonna. It was a normally furnished teenager's room. His bed was next to the window, and at the other window was his desk. Opposite the bed stood his wardrobe. And to the right of it, an aquarium. His room looked tidy. There were no clothes on the floor, not even on the bed.
"I like it," I wanted to let him know.
"I'll put on some music. Okay?" he suggested and went to his sound system, which was set up next to the desk.
I walked over to the aquarium, which was on a wheeled cabinet and thus easy to move. I looked at the fish. They were all small, colorful fish, and the plants in it with the little stones at the bottom of the aquarium formed a natural environment for the fish.
I watched the fish in the aquarium. The music was already playing.
Then I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"I often watch the fish in the aquarium too."
"It has something," I simply couldn't express how the aquarium affected me.
Now he pointed to a blue-yellow striped fish: "That's my favorite fish. I got it from my uncle for my birthday."
"That's really beautiful," I thought too.
"Come. Let's sit on the bed," he invited me. He had removed his hand from my shoulder.
We talked about school, about our classmates, about our teachers... And then it happened. We looked into each other's eyes. In the background, music was still playing. We didn't say anything for a while. Then...
"I like you," he said first.
"I like you too," I felt the same.
It became quiet between us again. And then suddenly...
He kissed me.
I let it happen. I didn't even resist.
I liked it.
I kissed him again.
We hugged each other.
We stayed like that for a while.
He started to stroke my back with one hand. I did the same.
It was so wonderful with him.
His hand went under my T-shirt. He laid me down on the bed – we lay next to each other and looked into each other's eyes.
We said nothing. I heard his heart racing. Mine was racing too.
We kissed again, and our bodies came closer.
I saw his bare skin on his stomach, as his T-shirt had ridden up. We felt each other's bodies.
We were really nervous. Our hearts were pounding strongly. Our breathing became louder.
We took off our T-shirts.
We hugged each other again. Very tightly.
We stroked each other.
I touched his chest. I stroked over his stomach.
He breathed deeply in and out. Several times. He liked it.
I looked at his pants and noticed that Mark was visibly aroused as well. He must have felt that I was aroused too.
We moved closer and stroked each other for quite a while.
Nothing else happened that day. We lay on the bed until we heard noises in the house. He lifted his head so that he could see the clock on his desk.
"That must be my mom," he said quietly. "Let's get dressed again."
We put our T-shirts back on.
I didn't say anything for now. It was so nice. So great with him.
I kissed him again. He did too.
There was a knock at his door.
"Yes, Mom."
His mother opened the door. I felt that I was tense again. But when he introduced me to his mother and we started talking, my tension faded away.
I knew his mother. She was a doctor in the village and for the surrounding area. I had been to her many times when I was sick. She was very nice. She immediately asked me how my grandfather was doing. She knew that I was with my grandparents and that my parents were in Germany.
Mark's mother was so kind and insisted that I stay for dinner. I also met his father. After dinner, I said goodbye.
On the way home, I thought about what had happened. I thought about Mark. I felt him again. I felt how much I liked him. When I got home, Grandma wanted to know how it was at Mark's. I only told her half. Did she notice how happy I felt?
In bed, I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of Mark.
The next day we saw each other again at school. He was waiting in front of the school door again. We greeted each other with a handshake. At school, we walked side by side until our paths separated in the direction of our respective classes.
"We'll see each other later during the big break, okay?" he said, briefly touching my hand again before going his way.
It was so electrifying. I felt a tingling inside me. I would have loved to kiss him at that very moment.
The hours seemed to drag on. I was only half paying attention in class anyway. My thoughts were completely elsewhere. I was only thinking about Mark. The hours from the previous day flashed through my mind. What had happened between us. How wonderful it was to be with him. To touch him, to feel his skin...
During the big break, we sat together on the bleachers in the sun and watched the other boys play basketball. We were initially silent until I mustered my courage and started:
"Mark, you know, I have theater rehearsal today. And it will be very late, for sure."
He just nodded.
"We can meet on the weekend. It will be warm, and we can be by the river in our village, at the old mill. What do you think?" I suggested casually.
"Oh yes," he said excitedly.
"On Saturday, we'll call each other again at 10 o'clock. Okay?"
"Sounds good," and the bell rang for the next period.
On Saturday, I woke up early. The sun was already showing in the sky. It was going to be a beautiful day, I thought. At 10 o'clock, I called Mark. His mother answered first. Mark was already awake since he had been waiting for my call:
"It looks like the whole weekend will be nice," Mark said.
"Yes. Good, right?" I was happy that I would see him again.
"My mom said I could sleep over at your place. My parents want to go to Ljubljana and won't be back until Sunday," Mark explained, and you could hear his joy in his voice.
"Great," I was even happier.
"When do you want to come?" I asked.
"Right away. My parents will drop me off at your place and then continue on," he replied.
I hadn't expected him so soon. I was very surprised. We ended the conversation.
I cleared everything with my grandparents. There were no problems. Mark could sleep over at my place. In an hour, we would see each other.
I saw from a distance that he was getting out of the car and saying goodbye to his parents. His mother waved at me, I waved back, and they drove off. Mark stood there with two bags.
"What do you have with you, Mark?" I was overwhelmed by so much luggage, as if he were going on a trip for several days.
"My sleeping bag and my tent."
"Tent?"
"Yes. I thought we could sleep by the river," he said while laughing.
We didn't talk for long. He was still standing on the road. We crossed the street, walked along the road to the mill, and after the mill, we took the path down to the river. Now we looked for a spot by the river.
We quickly found a suitable place. We were all sweaty from the hike. We left our things on the ground first. The sun was really strong.
"Come on, Sascha. Let's go into the water right away," Mark suggested.
We took off our shirts first. I looked at him, at his upper body, and it was obvious that he was watching me too. Then we took off our sneakers and our pants. We were both already wearing our swim trunks. His were blue with black stripes. I looked at him.
Then he jumped into the water.
"Great, Sascha. Come on in now," he encouraged me a bit.
I jumped into the water too. I deliberately jumped close to where he was. Now he was really wet.
"Just wait. I can do that too," he said and quickly disappeared from the water, jumping this time with a bit more of a run-up.
We jumped into the water several times. It was really fun. Until Mark finally gave up:
"I can't do it anymore. Let's rest and enjoy the sun."
We got out of the water. We took our towels out of our bags. We spread them out on the grass by the river and lay down without drying off first. Our breathing gradually became slower. I felt the sun warming my skin. I mostly listened to him breathing.
We lay there without saying anything. We simply enjoyed the moment of lying here in the sun. We completely lost track of time.
"What time is it now?" I wanted to know from Mark. I actually wanted to see if he was awake or if he had fallen asleep.
"It's probably half past two," he was sure.
"I brought cards. Do you want to play cards?" It had somehow become too boring just lying there.
"Oh yes," he was enthusiastic about my idea.
I went to my bag, took out the cards, arranged my towel, and he sat expectantly on his towel. I took a seat:
"Shall we play Mau Mau?" I asked him.
"Yes."
I shuffled the cards a bit, and the game could begin. We played a few rounds. We hardly talked.
From time to time, I watched him. I looked at his upper body, his upper arms, his legs. I really liked him.
"Sascha, it's your turn," he caught me when I wasn't concentrating on the game.
I hadn't thought my concentration would wane like that. - I just really liked him.
"Let's go back in the water," I wanted to break the monotony of the game, as he kept winning again and again.
Mark was the first to stand up. Then I did. He turned around and took a run for his jump. "Splash!" There he was in the water. I walked closer to the water and jumped in as well. I surfaced.
He kissed me as I was gasping for air. I collected myself. Took a deep breath.
"You like to kiss, don't you?"
"Very much. Especially you," Mark replied.
We stayed in the water for a while longer. We dove, swam back and forth, touched each other, wrestled, splashed each other. It was so much fun.
We dried off this time. It was already past 5 PM and the sun was getting weaker. My gaze fell on him while he was drying off. I watched him again. Did he notice? I admired him so much. Our eyes met. We looked into each other's eyes, and in the next moment, he continued drying off and then said:
"Let's set up the tent. It will be dark soon."
He went to his bag and took out the tent. I just stood there for a moment, waiting until he needed my help. After all, only he knew how to set up the tent. It went really quickly. One pole on top of the other, then secure it to the ground, and the tent was ready.
Well, not that quickly. He handed me the hammer, which he had also taken out of his bag. He first showed me what I should do. I took the ropes and hammered the stakes into the ground around the tent.
I looked into the garden, observing the trees, the green grass that had been freshly mowed the day before. I was alone with my thoughts. I reflected, let the sun's rays warm me, and sometimes, I cried there...
It wasn't easy. When I was 8 years old, my parents brought me to my grandparents in Slovenia. For me, it was rather a foreign country, as I had only known the city of Mannheim in Germany, where I was born and played with the children in kindergarten. The main reason I was left with my grandparents was that I was supposed to go to school here in Slovenia.
No question, it was very difficult at first without my parents. But I quickly grew fond of my grandparents, and there were also children in the village with whom I could play. After a few weeks, I also got to know the remote places in the village, which were usually more interesting than the church in the village. And there was so much to explore. The forests, the large meadows and clearings in the woods, the small river in the valley—all of that fascinated me much more all of a sudden.
Months and years passed. I went to school, just like the other children from the village. But one thing set me apart from the others. I was raised by my grandparents.
When I was 13, I noticed it. I was different from the other boys. I was in the 7th grade, in class 7a. Not that I was a nerd, but I didn't care about football. The boys in my class had only one thing on their minds—football. They played during breaks, free periods, and after school. I felt out of place there.
I was interested in something completely different. I was always with the girls: Tea, Anita, Marie, Denise, and Nadine. It all started in the 3rd grade with a small play. In the following years, we did puppet theater. But it only became really fun when we performed real theater and had a director.
Tea and Anita were the best friends. They were inseparable. They lived not far from each other, so they often walked home from school together. Everyone could make the walk in a quarter of an hour, but they couldn't even manage it in an hour.
Marie was our top student. But she always seemed to have bad luck. Once, the whole class went skiing, and she broke her right leg right at the beginning. I think we had seen almost all her body parts in a cast.
Denise and Nadine also couldn't relate to our football boys. They preferred to hang out with the boys, Simon and Mark, from the parallel class 7b.
One day before Christmas, each class was allowed to organize its own party in the classroom. So we decorated our classroom, our math/physics room. The other classes did the same. In the school competition for the best-decorated classroom, we were worse than the others, and the winner was the parallel class 7b.
"Of course, they would win with their silver stars," Marie was disappointed, as her white stars didn't impress the jury.
"Oh come on. The idea with the long paper and fabric strips is what made them win," Denise tried to comfort her.
A little later, it was already time for most of the class to go home on the school bus at 1 PM. Only Tea, Anita, Marie, Denise, Nadine, and I stayed. We turned up the music, and the Christmas party could begin...
The teachers also started their own party in the conference room since most of the students were already out of school.
"Hi Mark, hi Simon, nice to see you here," Denise was happy. Nadine's smile was also hard to miss.
"Everyone's already gone with us," Simon said.
"Let's dance..." Denise grabbed Mark.
You could also see that Marie's bad mood disappeared in an instant. Everyone helped to move the tables a bit aside to create a larger dance floor. We all danced wildly... Good thing Nadine had all her tapes with her. She was the most eager one in collecting hits that were always playing on the radio and diligently recording them.
Don't be surprised, but in 1988, we kids didn't have CDs yet. We all had cassette players and were proud if we could own our own Walkman.
We danced to Madonna's "Like a Prayer" and were enchanted by the music from the movies "Dirty Dancing" and "Flashdance." We danced closer and closer, our bodies touching, just like we knew it from the movie "Dirty Dancing."
After a while, I went to the table with the drinks. I took my glass, and Mark followed me.
"Sascha, what are you drinking?" Mark asked me.
"Coke with Fanta," I replied, looking him in the eyes.
Our eyes met, and for a few seconds, we looked at each other.
It was as if we were hypnotized. At first, our faces were very serious, and then suddenly, we both smiled. He was a bit taller than me, had brown eyes, and short blonde hair with a few curls.
He took a sip from his Coke glass, turned around, and went to the dance floor, where the girls were just singing Madonna's "Like a Prayer" for the third time, waving their hands in the air.
I watched him leave. Why am I looking at him, I asked myself, but didn’t think any further. I was completely beside myself.
“Come on, Sascha,” Nadine swung briefly to me in rhythm with the music, took my arm, and pulled me back to the others.
Time passed like a blur. We completely forgot about time, soon it was 5 PM and dark outside. We realized the teachers had completely forgotten about us. We cleared away the drinks and our glasses, turned off the music, took our things, and silently fled from the school.
We said our goodbyes. First the girls. Then…
“Mark,” I said goodbye to Mark.
“Sascha,” Mark said quietly, and we hugged. The hug lasted a bit longer than with the other boys.
At home that same evening, a day before Christmas, I thought about Mark. I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of him.
The next day, I was expecting my parents from Germany. I looked out the window and it was snowing heavily. I was all excited all day, wondering when my parents would finally arrive. Grandma tried to distract me, but she couldn’t. It was only when the neighbor’s daughter, Meike, who was a year younger than me, knocked on the door that my mood suddenly changed.
“Good day. Can Sascha come out?” was her question.
“Of course,” Grandma said with a smile on her face.
And I was out of the house in no time.
Meike was in the 6th grade, so one grade below me. She was very curious about why I had come home so late the day before.
“Sascha. What did you do at school yesterday?” she asked.
I laughed: “We celebrated.”
So I told her what we had done, who was there. Of course, I didn’t mention anything about what had happened between Mark and me. However, thoughts of him kept running through my mind.
“Shall we go to the big fir tree?” she suggested. To my relief, otherwise she would have noticed that there was something more at the Christmas party at school. She was kind of my best friend and could read everything from my face.
When we arrived at the big fir tree, to the right of the church on the highest slope in the village, we stopped. It was where we occasionally lit a campfire in the summer since it was somewhat away from the houses in the village. And if my parents came, we would see the car in the distance.
“Your parents are coming today, right?” she asked to start a conversation. Although she knew my parents would come that day.
“Yes,” I answered her briefly.
“Aren’t you excited?” she looked me in the eyes.
“I am.” - In the meantime, I picked up the freshly fallen snow and tried to form a snowball: “It’s working pretty well.” I moved a little away from her and tried to hit the big fir tree in front of us.
“Missed!” Meike shouted and began to laugh at me.
We both tried to hit the big fir tree. After the third throw, I managed to hit the tree. Meike hit it on her first try.
“You cheated. You’re much closer than I am,” I accused her.
She laughed: “Party pooper!”
I didn’t want to dwell on it any longer. It felt too silly at that moment. Normally, I wouldn’t let her get away with that. But my gaze kept wandering back to the road…
“Here come my parents!” I shouted to Meike and pointed my finger towards the car. I was visibly happy and ran back to the village while Meike ran after me.
As always, I was happy that my parents were back with me. I was still not really glad, though. I knew they would soon be leaving again. But being together with family, parents, and grandparents at Christmas is the best. We also celebrated on New Year’s Eve…
After two weeks, they drove back to Germany. I hated the goodbye. It was especially hard for me. And when they left, there was no stopping it, I cried.
The next day was Monday, and I had to go back to school. And when I got up in the morning, it was snowing again. Why did it always snow when we had to go back to school? But even at school, things changed again.
The large school hall, where school festivals were celebrated, was no longer empty as usual. This time, four table tennis tables were set up, and the principal spoke to us with New Year’s wishes. Thus, classes began joyfully in the new year. Playing table tennis was a good change during breaks and free periods.
Then someone surprised me from behind.
“Hi Sascha. Shall we play table tennis together during the big break?” came from Mark.
“Yeah, sure,” I replied, quite surprised and a bit confused. I turned my gaze to him and saw his smile.
We had math for the first two hours with our class teacher. After that, biology with Mrs. Hölein. I could never quite gauge her, even though she was always friendly towards me and I could always answer her questions. Maybe I was just a little afraid of her because she seemed a bit older and strict. This hour also passed, and the bell rang for the big break.
I already saw Mark waiting at one of the table tennis tables. I quickly placed my bag down and picked up the table tennis paddle that was on the table. Other students were also gathering around the table tennis tables and watching us. I was a bit nervous, but I could see that Mark felt the same way.
With the game, we became more relaxed. Simon was there too and counted for us. The game was quite balanced, but I was leading when we switched sides.
"You’re good," Mark whispered to me as he passed by.
"You’re not bad either," I replied.
The game continued. And our spectators were excited about our match. Some from my class were also standing at the sidelines watching the game.
"Give it to him, Sascha. You can do it!" one of the teammates shouted.
I glanced quickly to see who it was and already made a mistake. It was tied again, and there were still three points to win or go into overtime. I pulled myself together. I could handle it.
"Great game," came a voice from the side.
Mark approached me and shook my hand: "You played better. And the better one wins. Isn’t that right?" and looked me in the eyes.
"I enjoyed playing with you, Mark. Maybe again another time?" I invited him to the next game.
"Sure," Mark said happily.
The table tennis tables in the large hall were well received by the students.
For the next three months, I played table tennis with Mark several more times. And again and again, I felt that strange feeling. I looked at him, gazed into his eyes. I examined him from head to toe. I liked him more and more.
The Easter holidays were approaching, and then we wouldn’t see each other for a while. A bit sadly, the last school day before the holidays came.
"What are you doing during the holidays?" Mark asked me.
"Nothing," I replied briefly. "And you?"
"I’m meeting Simon. Maybe we can play basketball on the schoolyard," he said.
"Great," I was happy for him and wanted to end the conversation quickly: "Mark, we’ll see each other again after the holidays," I said sadly.
"Okay, Sascha. See you then," we said goodbye without hugging, without a handshake.
The Easter holidays went by quickly.
On the first school day, then came the surprise. The table tennis tables had been removed from the large hall. But we all had to accept that. It had become much warmer outside, and during breaks, the boys from my class gathered as usual on the soccer field.
And I saw Mark playing basketball with Simon.
I had once again no desire for anything. I ate my sandwich but kept glancing at Mark, at the two of them, as they played basketball. I was lost in thought. And the bell rang for the next class.
There were still two months until the end of the school year. For the end of June, we were preparing a play. A modified fairy tale with three witches and so on.
Marie, Tea, and Anita played the three witches. Denise, Nadine, and I played more minor roles. So, unimportant.
We rehearsed on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school. It was so much fun. On some days, we were even at school until 5 PM. We wanted to perfect everything. Especially our Marie, our top student, had a say in it. She took over the directing this time, as our supervisor for the theater group was sick.
One day, after our rehearsal, I walked to the bus stop; it was already the end of May. I was a bit late, so I took a shortcut. I walked between the blocks, and there I ran into Mark.
"Hi Mark."
"Hi Sascha. Are you just coming from school?" Mark asked me.
"Yeah. We were still rehearsing for the play," I replied promptly.
"Are you taking the bus home now?" he asked me again.
"Yeah," I wondered. How did he know I was from the other village? "I’m in a hurry; the bus is coming soon. Bye," and kept walking.
"See you tomorrow," I heard him say.
The bus came right away. Mark's "See you tomorrow" was running through my mind. Did he mean something by that? I was puzzled.
The next day, he was waiting for me in front of the school door.
"Good morning, Sascha," he greeted me.
"Hi Mark," I was a bit surprised. No one had greeted me like that before school.
Then he put his right arm around my shoulder and asked me, "Do you have any plans for this afternoon?"
"No."
"Would you like to come over to my place after school?" his invitation was now expressed.
I was completely surprised. What was he planning with me? What was the harm in visiting him? I agreed.
"We only have six classes today. You do too, right?" he was pretty sure about that. The school bell rang.
"Yes," I confirmed a bit louder.
"Okay, see you then," and he walked in the direction of his classroom.
"See you then."
The hours just had to pass more quickly. I had never looked at my watch so often.
The bell rang for the big break. Mark found me in front of the school door unpacking my sandwich and came over to me.
"Sascha," he addressed me first.
"Yes, Mark."
"I forgot my math homework. I have to finish it during the break. I’ll see you after the sixth period, okay?"
"All good, Mark," I replied, and he was already gone.
Finally, the sixth period was over. I was happy that Mark was taking me home. I was a little excited. I packed my bag and went out of the school. I didn’t see him in the crowd of other students. So, I waited for him in front of the school.
Then I saw him come out of the school door. My joy shot up instantly. I looked at him as he ran down the stairs to me. I would have loved to hug him, but I couldn’t do that. What would others think of me?
"I've been waiting for you, Mark," I greeted him.
"Let's go," which was fine with me.
We walked side by side. We took the shortcut that I usually took to catch the bus. Then we walked for a while, and soon we were in front of his house.
The single-family house was brand new. The white color of the facade had not faded. In the front yard, roses bloomed in two colors – red and white.
He took his keychain and unlocked the front door with the key.
"Here we are. Welcome to my home," he led me into the house.
I focused on the walls, on the things in the hallway. There were his sneakers, which I liked so much. He took off his shoes. I did the same.
Upon arriving in the living room…
"My parents are working. They'll be back later. Would you like something to drink?" he made an effort to be hospitable. Very nice of him.
"A glass of water is fine for now."
Mark went into the kitchen, and I followed him. He handed me a glass of water, and he himself drank orange juice.
"Now I'll show you my room," and I followed him without saying anything.
We went upstairs, and when we reached the top, he pointed to the door straight ahead.
"That's my parents' bedroom," and then he opened the door to his right: "And here, this is my room."
His room was painted in a very soft yellow. On one wall, he had hung posters of Madonna. It was a normally furnished teenager's room. His bed was next to the window, and at the other window was his desk. Opposite the bed stood his wardrobe. And to the right of it, an aquarium. His room looked tidy. There were no clothes on the floor, not even on the bed.
"I like it," I wanted to let him know.
"I'll put on some music. Okay?" he suggested and went to his sound system, which was set up next to the desk.
I walked over to the aquarium, which was on a wheeled cabinet and thus easy to move. I looked at the fish. They were all small, colorful fish, and the plants in it with the little stones at the bottom of the aquarium formed a natural environment for the fish.
I watched the fish in the aquarium. The music was already playing.
Then I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"I often watch the fish in the aquarium too."
"It has something," I simply couldn't express how the aquarium affected me.
Now he pointed to a blue-yellow striped fish: "That's my favorite fish. I got it from my uncle for my birthday."
"That's really beautiful," I thought too.
"Come. Let's sit on the bed," he invited me. He had removed his hand from my shoulder.
We talked about school, about our classmates, about our teachers... And then it happened. We looked into each other's eyes. In the background, music was still playing. We didn't say anything for a while. Then...
"I like you," he said first.
"I like you too," I felt the same.
It became quiet between us again. And then suddenly...
He kissed me.
I let it happen. I didn't even resist.
I liked it.
I kissed him again.
We hugged each other.
We stayed like that for a while.
He started to stroke my back with one hand. I did the same.
It was so wonderful with him.
His hand went under my T-shirt. He laid me down on the bed – we lay next to each other and looked into each other's eyes.
We said nothing. I heard his heart racing. Mine was racing too.
We kissed again, and our bodies came closer.
I saw his bare skin on his stomach, as his T-shirt had ridden up. We felt each other's bodies.
We were really nervous. Our hearts were pounding strongly. Our breathing became louder.
We took off our T-shirts.
We hugged each other again. Very tightly.
We stroked each other.
I touched his chest. I stroked over his stomach.
He breathed deeply in and out. Several times. He liked it.
I looked at his pants and noticed that Mark was visibly aroused as well. He must have felt that I was aroused too.
We moved closer and stroked each other for quite a while.
Nothing else happened that day. We lay on the bed until we heard noises in the house. He lifted his head so that he could see the clock on his desk.
"That must be my mom," he said quietly. "Let's get dressed again."
We put our T-shirts back on.
I didn't say anything for now. It was so nice. So great with him.
I kissed him again. He did too.
There was a knock at his door.
"Yes, Mom."
His mother opened the door. I felt that I was tense again. But when he introduced me to his mother and we started talking, my tension faded away.
I knew his mother. She was a doctor in the village and for the surrounding area. I had been to her many times when I was sick. She was very nice. She immediately asked me how my grandfather was doing. She knew that I was with my grandparents and that my parents were in Germany.
Mark's mother was so kind and insisted that I stay for dinner. I also met his father. After dinner, I said goodbye.
On the way home, I thought about what had happened. I thought about Mark. I felt him again. I felt how much I liked him. When I got home, Grandma wanted to know how it was at Mark's. I only told her half. Did she notice how happy I felt?
In bed, I fell asleep immediately and dreamed of Mark.
The next day we saw each other again at school. He was waiting in front of the school door again. We greeted each other with a handshake. At school, we walked side by side until our paths separated in the direction of our respective classes.
"We'll see each other later during the big break, okay?" he said, briefly touching my hand again before going his way.
It was so electrifying. I felt a tingling inside me. I would have loved to kiss him at that very moment.
The hours seemed to drag on. I was only half paying attention in class anyway. My thoughts were completely elsewhere. I was only thinking about Mark. The hours from the previous day flashed through my mind. What had happened between us. How wonderful it was to be with him. To touch him, to feel his skin...
During the big break, we sat together on the bleachers in the sun and watched the other boys play basketball. We were initially silent until I mustered my courage and started:
"Mark, you know, I have theater rehearsal today. And it will be very late, for sure."
He just nodded.
"We can meet on the weekend. It will be warm, and we can be by the river in our village, at the old mill. What do you think?" I suggested casually.
"Oh yes," he said excitedly.
"On Saturday, we'll call each other again at 10 o'clock. Okay?"
"Sounds good," and the bell rang for the next period.
On Saturday, I woke up early. The sun was already showing in the sky. It was going to be a beautiful day, I thought. At 10 o'clock, I called Mark. His mother answered first. Mark was already awake since he had been waiting for my call:
"It looks like the whole weekend will be nice," Mark said.
"Yes. Good, right?" I was happy that I would see him again.
"My mom said I could sleep over at your place. My parents want to go to Ljubljana and won't be back until Sunday," Mark explained, and you could hear his joy in his voice.
"Great," I was even happier.
"When do you want to come?" I asked.
"Right away. My parents will drop me off at your place and then continue on," he replied.
I hadn't expected him so soon. I was very surprised. We ended the conversation.
I cleared everything with my grandparents. There were no problems. Mark could sleep over at my place. In an hour, we would see each other.
I saw from a distance that he was getting out of the car and saying goodbye to his parents. His mother waved at me, I waved back, and they drove off. Mark stood there with two bags.
"What do you have with you, Mark?" I was overwhelmed by so much luggage, as if he were going on a trip for several days.
"My sleeping bag and my tent."
"Tent?"
"Yes. I thought we could sleep by the river," he said while laughing.
We didn't talk for long. He was still standing on the road. We crossed the street, walked along the road to the mill, and after the mill, we took the path down to the river. Now we looked for a spot by the river.
We quickly found a suitable place. We were all sweaty from the hike. We left our things on the ground first. The sun was really strong.
"Come on, Sascha. Let's go into the water right away," Mark suggested.
We took off our shirts first. I looked at him, at his upper body, and it was obvious that he was watching me too. Then we took off our sneakers and our pants. We were both already wearing our swim trunks. His were blue with black stripes. I looked at him.
Then he jumped into the water.
"Great, Sascha. Come on in now," he encouraged me a bit.
I jumped into the water too. I deliberately jumped close to where he was. Now he was really wet.
"Just wait. I can do that too," he said and quickly disappeared from the water, jumping this time with a bit more of a run-up.
We jumped into the water several times. It was really fun. Until Mark finally gave up:
"I can't do it anymore. Let's rest and enjoy the sun."
We got out of the water. We took our towels out of our bags. We spread them out on the grass by the river and lay down without drying off first. Our breathing gradually became slower. I felt the sun warming my skin. I mostly listened to him breathing.
We lay there without saying anything. We simply enjoyed the moment of lying here in the sun. We completely lost track of time.
"What time is it now?" I wanted to know from Mark. I actually wanted to see if he was awake or if he had fallen asleep.
"It's probably half past two," he was sure.
"I brought cards. Do you want to play cards?" It had somehow become too boring just lying there.
"Oh yes," he was enthusiastic about my idea.
I went to my bag, took out the cards, arranged my towel, and he sat expectantly on his towel. I took a seat:
"Shall we play Mau Mau?" I asked him.
"Yes."
I shuffled the cards a bit, and the game could begin. We played a few rounds. We hardly talked.
From time to time, I watched him. I looked at his upper body, his upper arms, his legs. I really liked him.
"Sascha, it's your turn," he caught me when I wasn't concentrating on the game.
I hadn't thought my concentration would wane like that. - I just really liked him.
"Let's go back in the water," I wanted to break the monotony of the game, as he kept winning again and again.
Mark was the first to stand up. Then I did. He turned around and took a run for his jump. "Splash!" There he was in the water. I walked closer to the water and jumped in as well. I surfaced.
He kissed me as I was gasping for air. I collected myself. Took a deep breath.
"You like to kiss, don't you?"
"Very much. Especially you," Mark replied.
We stayed in the water for a while longer. We dove, swam back and forth, touched each other, wrestled, splashed each other. It was so much fun.
We dried off this time. It was already past 5 PM and the sun was getting weaker. My gaze fell on him while he was drying off. I watched him again. Did he notice? I admired him so much. Our eyes met. We looked into each other's eyes, and in the next moment, he continued drying off and then said:
"Let's set up the tent. It will be dark soon."
He went to his bag and took out the tent. I just stood there for a moment, waiting until he needed my help. After all, only he knew how to set up the tent. It went really quickly. One pole on top of the other, then secure it to the ground, and the tent was ready.
Well, not that quickly. He handed me the hammer, which he had also taken out of his bag. He first showed me what I should do. I took the ropes and hammered the stakes into the ground around the tent.