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“Hi, it's me!“
”Hello, Frank.“
”What does the weatherman say for the next few days?“
”Pretty nice. You can easily come to me by bike. You can start cycling first thing tomorrow morning. My mom has already planned on you for lunch.”
“What are you doing to me? I have to see if the chain on my bike has rusted through since I got my driver's license.“
”You still have time to fix it tonight.“
”Funny. I still have to take a few things to study with you anyway. Tonight I still have to see what else is floating around that's not that important to study.”
“OK. What time will you be there tomorrow?“
”What's the best way to get here from here?“ ‘OK. If I leave here around ten, I'll be at your place by eleven, provided I don't get lost.’
”You're calculating an hour for the trip? Do you want to take a half-hour break on the way?“
”No, but I have a backpack full of books with me.”
“Don't overdo it with the studying. It's no use cramming everything into your brain if you mess it all up.“
”Well, let's see how much I can come to you with.“
”Not much! I promise! So I'll see you tomorrow then. Sleep well. Get lots of strength, you'll need it tomorrow.”
“Röchel. OK. Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow."
Unpack the suitcase, pack the backpack full. To be on the safe side, pack the sleeping bag too. Choose what to take with you to study. Check the bike. That took care of the rest of the evening.
Chapter
10
The next morning, thanks to my alarm clock, I actually managed to leave more or less on time. At a quarter to eleven, I had made the journey and rode onto the stud farm. Man oh man! This is a real old mansion. I would love to live here for a while. But I would do it for just one night. I didn't even need to ring the bell because Manuel came to meet me.
“Hi Frank. You're really packed to the rafters.“
”Did you think I was talking nonsense? Hello Manuel.“
I almost hugged him. Man! He looks even cuter than I remember him.
”Come on in. Throw your backpack on the stairs. Hi Mom, this is Frank. Frank this is my mom.”
“Hello Frank, call me Christine.“
”OK. Hello!“
The chase continued through the house.
”Dad, this is Frank. Frank my Dad."
A briefly murmured ‘hello’ came from behind the newspaper.
We retreated upstairs for the time being. Here he showed me the guest room where I would be sleeping. Cool. It was obvious that young guests often slept in it. After I had stowed my backpack in a corner, we went to Manuel's room. Chaos! That's just the best way to describe it.
“Sorry, it looks a bit chaotic in my room. I didn't clean up just for you. I want you to know who you're getting involved with.“
Do I hear something? Oh well. I'm just over-interpreting again.
”Don't worry, I'm only organized in the dictionary too.”
“That's a relief. Shall I show you the stables until lunch?“
”Sure, I'd like that.“
”Well, let's go. Whoever gets to the front door first."
And off he went. Somehow he seemed years younger today. Almost as if it were because of me. Oh, forget it. Dream on. Of course he was much faster because of my dreaming.
“Where are you?“
”Take it easy. An old man is not a train!“
”Don't exaggerate!”
By noon, we had gone through the whole farm once. There were enough horses for one day. Lunch was really good. After eating, we set off with the bikes from the field, or rather onto the field. What Manuel described as an easy bike route, I didn't even recognize as a path. After a while, we came to a small lake.
“It's a great place to swim. Do you fancy it?“
”I fancy it, but I didn't bring my swimming trunks.“
”What's the point of that? Have you never heard of nudism? I've got towels in my backpack. So get rid of your clothes.”
Well, there was nothing else for it. Somehow the whole thing seems a bit too planned to me. Could it be that someone is curious to see what I look like in the Adam costume, or am I imagining it again? Clothes off and into the water. Brr. That was pretty fresh. The advantage of this was that my best piece couldn't get any funny ideas. After a little splashing around, we got out of the water and dried ourselves. Then we lay in the sun for a while. It was just wonderful. Soaking up the sun with a cute young man next to me. Slowly it got shady and cold at our resting place. Back into our clothes and on we went. Manuel wanted to show me another beautiful place before we made our way back to his home. After half an hour and a few meters of altitude, we finally reached our destination. I was breathing like a bellows. Zero stamina.
“We'll have to do this more often before you get really fit!”
"Mercy!”
“Better look at the view, so you can at least see that the drudgery is worth it.“
We were on a hill from which you could see the whole area wonderfully. The only tree nearby was a huge oak.
”Couples in love always sit under it. I want to sit there with my boyfriend and watch the sun go down.”
Damn it. His eyes almost plead with me to suggest that we sit down. Why can't I get my mouth to open? I want to do it too! Damn, this is taking too long.
“I just wanted to show you. So now we're going home again.” Somehow it sounded cold and disappointed. No wonder!
We hardly spoke for the rest of the journey. Even when we got back to his place, he was very quiet. It only got better after dinner.
I felt extremely bad the whole time. I could hardly look at Manuel. Damn it! Why am I so cowardly? I think he's totally cute. It's wonderful talking to him, laughing and just having fun. Damn it.
After dinner, we went to his place to play a bit of Playstation. But the unusual sport had left me quite exhausted. Manuel also wanted to be alone, so I quickly went to the guest room next door to sleep.
Somehow I couldn't. I just couldn't get rid of Manuel's sad, disappointed eyes. Every time I closed my eyes, they were there again, looking at me. Somehow I managed to fall asleep after all.
But apart from a few nightmares, I didn't get anything. Of course I looked pretty exhausted the next morning.
At breakfast, I realized that Manuel didn't look any better either. Apparently he hadn't had a good night either. I'm an idiot, I must have ruined his whole weekend. I could kick myself for flying off to the moon. I felt like crying. His mother looked at me a bit strangely, but didn't say anything. She probably also noticed that we were both in an extremely bad mood. I then left very quickly after breakfast.
When I got home, I grabbed the phone, locked myself in my room and called Daniel. I just didn't know how to help myself anymore. Daniel was great again, he talked me out of it all. I shouldn't be worrying about a relationship before my exams. I should concentrate on studying first, etc. I think that would have annoyed me with almost anyone else, but when Daniel said it, it helped. It's strange how you can trust some people.
The rest of the day and the next week, I buried myself in my books so as not to have to think about Manuel. Every time we had a meal or did something together, it came up again. Every time, I saw Manuel's sad eyes again and could have burst into tears again.
Nothing much of significance happened that week, except that I came in second in the simulated exam on Saturday. That was very good, because I was also able to use it for job applications.
That's what I had done in the last two weeks: looking for ads, writing applications and getting the documents ready. On Monday, I posted 10 applications, all for jobs in the city.
With each day of the following week, the reunion with Manuel drew nearer. Hopefully Michael's friend is back on his feet, I couldn't stand another night next to him. On Wednesday I called Daniel about staying over. Only his mother was there, but she agreed right away.
“Oh yes, Frank, don't take the thing with Manuel too much to heart. Sometimes it takes a while to get together. Maybe it will work out between you two someday. How are the applications coming?"
So Daniel talked to his mom about it. Well, it wasn't meant that way. But what the heck. At least it's in the right hands. But why does she know about the applications now?
Right, I mentioned it at the beginning of the conversation to clarify again whether I could really come by Altmann's.
“Not great. Of the 10 sent, I got three rejections today.”
"Cheer up. There are still seven in circulation. Well, I have to go to work. You'll have to take care of yourselves on your own this weekend, I have an early shift.”
“That's OK. Don't you ever have weekends off?“
”I could take weekends off, but that's when most of the cases that need psychological support come in. Especially on Fridays and Saturdays.“
”Yes, that's right. The weekend grind, just like me.“
”Exactly! Take it with humor. Most of the time it's not as bad as you first think.”
“OK. I'll try. Have a nice day!“
”You too. Ciao Frank.“
”Ciao."
On Thursday another rejection came, on Friday two. A great week. At least one of the Friday rejections came with a letter that didn't sound totally negative. It was along the lines of, ”We're sorry, we only hire after passing an exam or apprentice. However, they would be pleased to receive another application from me after I have passed the final exam, with my preliminary exam results. That was at least some kind of explanation. Apparently, the situation is similar at the other banks. Well, four applications are still pending. Nevertheless, my mood was at rock bottom. One more night of sleep and then I'll have to look into those sad eyes again.
Chapter
11
You couldn't really call the following night's sleep. I would rather call it tossing and turning. I looked like a walking corpse again in the morning. Nightmares about unemployment and Manuel had taken turns.
When I arrived at Daniel's late in the afternoon, he got a fright at first.
"Hi Frank. You look terrible! Blow like a wall.”
“Hello Daniel. I just feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment. No sooner do I see land on the horizon than the next hurdle comes along.“
”I know what you mean. But I guess it's the same for everyone. When it comes, it always comes all at once.“
”But you can also overdo it. I've had six rejections so far.”
“Come on, Frank. When you're up to your neck in water, you can't let your head hang! That's what my mom always says. There's some truth to that.“
”That's true. But it's really starting to get to me.“
”It's hard not to see that. It's a good thing we can't go out tonight. We have to take care of Mel and Isabelle today.“
”We won't be able to go to the meeting place then.”
“Of course. The two of them can stay up until we get back.“
”OK. When are we leaving?“
”Now then. Manuel and you are getting a crash course in bar work today. Expect the worst from Manuel today. You're not together, but somehow it's the same as a while back when Sascha and I had a falling out.“
”Do you want to tell me?”
“Not really, but somehow I have to build you up. You can't be seen with you anywhere anymore. That was absolutely stupid again. We had gotten into each other's hair over some little thing. One thing led to another. I threw it at him. He upped the ante. I put one on top. At some point we gave each other back the rings we had bought for each other."
He pointed to the fine silver ring he had on his right ring finger.
“The next evening with our group, I felt sorry for it all again, but I didn't want to give in. Same with Sascha. Then I got fed up with it all and, just for the hell of it, started flirting with one of the new guys. It went on like that for most of the evening. Sascha almost cried. I'd got the power over him into my head. Fortunately, Michael saw the whole thing. He took us both to task individually afterwards and then sat us down at a table together. After half an hour we were together again, exchanging rings once more. Since then, there have never been any more problems between us. If one of us doesn't like something, we talk about it very quickly so that it doesn't build up anymore.“
”What does that have to do with Manuel and me? We've never been together.”
“But almost. The way I see it, you both wanted to get together. But when he asked for a sign from you, you didn't give it to him. He's disappointed about that. In any case, expect some actions today that are intended to hurt you. Please don't try it too. Manuel will calm down too.”
“Thanks for the heads up. Now I regret that we're supposed to be a team.“
”Why? Just go with it. By the way, Manuel can definitely sleep with Michael. I've already cleared that up.“
”OK! Thanks!”
Daniel was right. The evening was awful. While Sascha and Daniel were explaining to us what was where in the bar and how a Bloody Mary is mixed, Manuel flirted with one of the other group members, who was tinkering with the decoration like crazy. He kept looking at me. Exactly as if he wanted to show me: Look here, you're too cowardly, so I'll just find someone else. I was on the verge of going crazy. I think it was only Daniel's admonishing look that stopped me from giving Manuel a piece of my mind.
Shortly after 10 p.m., Daniel and I were already gone. At home, we took, or rather, forced the two girls to bed. We went to bed shortly after, after I had worked off some steam playing Tekken.
“Daniel, you should apply to be a prophet!“
”Thanks. Not interested. Especially not if I have to make bad predictions. But I believe that from now on, things can only get better for you. I just can't imagine it getting any worse.”
“Thanks. I don't believe it anymore. A few weeks ago, I started to feel good. Now I'm extremely down. Everything I touch goes wrong at the moment. I just hope that you two won't be out as a bar team next week.”
“I don't think so either. But it could happen that the four of us have to work behind the bar. Another youth group and the mayor have announced their attendance. There will definitely be a lot of press. It's a good thing that something like that is only published in the local section. Otherwise, you would probably both be out of the picture.“
”Well, that's a nice prospect. Well, good night then.”
“Sleep well too. Better dreams than lately.“
As if, the nightmares were getting worse. Now there was a grinning, slimy mayor who handed me all the job rejections, signed by hand, in front of the assembled group. I was more exhausted in the morning than in the evening when I went to bed.
”Good morning, Frank.”
“Good morning!“
”You've really got it bad. You called for Manuel last night.“
”I can't remember that. But I had a bad dream with the mayor. How do you think a personnel manager will react when he reads the newspaper with the five-year anniversary of the gay meeting with me behind the bar in the morning and then my application?”
Now it was time for Daniel to turn pale.
“Damn it! We didn't think of that at all. I'll check with Michael. If necessary, we'll just put him behind the bar. He already knows the ropes. But you see, nightmares are good for something. I would never have thought of that.”
Breakfast was rather silent. The two girls were a bit surprised to find us both in a bad mood. Apparently, my nightmare had also weighed heavily on Daniel. I then quickly made my way home. I won't mention the usual problems falling asleep anymore. This time it wasn't Manuel's sad eyes that prevented me from falling asleep, but his angry eyes.
Chapter
12
The next week started very well. Hard to believe after the last few weeks. The postman had a letter with him that didn't contain my documents. A renowned private bank asked me to contact them about an appointment for an interview with Mr. Marcus. I had little hope of reaching him before Monday evening, but I was wrong. After three rings, I had Mr. Marcus on the phone. In the following conversation, the appointment was scheduled for Thursday at 2:30 p.m. Mr. Marcus also pointed out to me that it would be good if I were planning to move closer to my workplace. I was able to take care of this point right away.
So I went back to the city center the next Thursday. I called Altmanns right away. Daniel was a little surprised to hear from me so quickly; he was already thinking the worst and was very relieved when he found out the reason for my call.
“Hey cool! You see, things are looking up again. I've got school for now. Now let's take a look at my mom's shift schedule. She's got the day off. You'll just have to have fun with my mom alone. But I don't think the two of you will eat each other up.“
”I don't think so either. Let's meet on Thursday after the interview?”
“Sure. School doesn't last that long.“
”OK. See you then. Please prepare your mom for an extremely nervous Frank.“
”Sure. But don't think anything of it, it can only get better. I guess you've had enough soul rain after all.“
”Your word in many ear canals. Ciao Daniel.“
”Ciao Frank and good luck and success on Thursday!”
“Thanks.” But this faded away unheard.
The next morning I went straight to my boss. As promised, it was no problem at all to get time off on Thursday.
This was approaching inexorably. My nervousness kept rising. I would have liked to talk to someone about it, but I didn't want to call Daniel again, Nicole was on a school trip and I had Manuel's number but not even his last name. When I visited Daniel, I thought about looking at the name tag on the door; when I visited Manuel, I was too stupid. Not to mention that I would have been way too proud to call Manuel.
As if the other banks knew that I had an interview, no further rejections came for the time being. On Thursday, I set off for Altmann's with my best clothes in my bag.
“Hello Ms. Altmann... uh... Maria. I'll have to get used to that.“
”Hello Frank, you'd better hurry up with that. The 'uh' always seems a bit strange.“
”Well, thank you. Hopefully something like that won't happen to me at 2:30 p.m. today.“
”Of course not. You'll be careful!”
And so it went on. Maria was really great. She managed to take away the worst of my nervousness. At some point we went to the bank. I arrived there on time and asked at the reception for Mr. Marcus. Two minutes later he picked me up. My eyes almost popped out of my head.
1. The guy was damn good-looking.
2. He was maybe 25 or 26 at the most.
“Hello Mr. Kaufmann. I'm Mr. Marcus.“
”Hello Mr. Marcus.“
”Is something wrong?“
”Yes... I had imagined a personnel manager to be older.“
Damn. That went well.
”Does it bother you?“
”No, not at all, but it does surprise me a little.”
“I'm responsible for the 'Technology' department in the HR department. Most applicants are around your age or a little older. So you can guess which part of your application made the biggest impression.“
The whole conversation took place while Mr. Marcus led me to his office.
”May I introduce Ms. Treter, if everything goes well, she will be your future boss.”
With that, I was introduced to the woman who had been waiting for us in the office. She looked maybe ten years older than Mr. Marcus.
“Hello Mrs. Treter.”
“Hello Mr. Kaufmann.”
"We already described the change of residence on the phone. Mrs. Treter, would you be so kind as to explain your area and the tasks to Mr. Kaufmann?”
“Of course. My department is responsible for all technology, from telephones and faxes to PCs and servers. Therefore, most of the technicians in this area have no banking training. However, there are more and more products that require banking training on the technical side as well. So we are currently looking for young bankers who have some knowledge of technology.”
The interview went better than I could have ever imagined. After Mr. Marcus had clarified all the legal stuff and the salary, he briefly discussed it with Ms. Treter. I could have the job. That was a bit too fast. I asked for some time to think about it until after the weekend.
“No problem at all. We expected that. If it should fail because of the move here, we would be very happy to help you with our real estate department.“
”I wish you a nice day and hope that you will choose us.“
”Goodbye, Ms. Treter.”
With that, the lady had disappeared. Apparently quite a temper, the way the door flew shut. Mr. Marcus seemed to have the same train of thought.
“That's why the office doors in the technology area are always open. Otherwise, the bearings would have to be replaced every few months.”
I just couldn't help but grin.
“I'll walk down with you. If I don't see you before, I wish you good luck with your final exam. I hope you do as well as the dress rehearsal.“
”Thank you. Have a nice day. Goodbye, Mr. Marcus.“
”Goodbye, Mr. Kaufmann.”
Phew. I haven't been this relieved in a long time. At the moment, I had no thoughts about Manuel and the bar action on Saturday. I walked out of the bank and was somehow damn glad to be out of there. Almost two hours. I had expected an hour.
"Hey Frank, wait for me. You can hardly be recognized like this. It's amazing how clothes can change a person.”
“Hi Daniel. Have you been waiting for me?“
”Of course. I came here right after school. There's a café right across from the bank entrance. I lay in wait there. I think the waiter was about to call the police because I was so hypnotized by the entrance. Judging by your radiant smile, it can't have gone badly.”
“I could have the job. I've asked for time to think about it until Monday. First of all, I have to survive at least one family council. My dad is not at all pleased that I'm slowly coming of age and want to move out. He apparently wants to keep me under his thumb.“
”He can't keep you under his thumb now!” Daniel grins at me.
“Well, let's see if I can get him round. If necessary, I'll have to bring in the big gun – 'gay' – then he'll throw me out anyway!”
“Don't exaggerate. Come on, I'm here by car. I'll take you to my place for a change."
At his place, we still had to clarify how Saturday should go. Then I immediately went home. That was the first night in a few weeks that I slept peacefully.
On Friday, my boss called me into the office first thing and congratulated me after I told him the result of the interview. I told my parents on Friday evening. My dad swallowed hard when he heard the condition about moving into the city, but didn't say anything. Not yet! That probably comes later.
I packed my best casual clothes right away on Friday evening. You want to look your best behind the bar. Somehow the newspaper incident came back to me. I could have kicked myself for the cooling-off period until Monday. How will Mr. Marcus react when he reads about the fifth birthday of the 'Treffpunkt' in the newspaper, sees my photo next to it and then receives my acceptance? That was the end of that night.
Chapter
13
On Saturday, not much happened, apart from the fact that my parents avoided me quite a bit. There was probably something going on. I was sure I could expect the war council on Sunday.
I set off at noon. I had forgotten to call Manuel, or rather, I hadn't called on purpose. I didn't want to see him at all anymore, I told myself. I tried not to think about Manuel at all. With the sense of achievement behind me, it was also somewhat easier.
When Daniel arrived, Sascha was already there. He left after a few minutes to pick up Manuel from the train station. So Manuel had arranged for another way of getting there. While Sascha and Manuel got a few bottles of hard liquor, Daniel and I bought a few more cases of beer, lemonade and Spezi. We arrived at the 'Treffpunkt' at around 5 p.m. I almost wouldn't have recognized it. Balloons were hanging everywhere and a large sound system had been set up in the corner. Daniel noticed my look and grinned.
"That's why we have to take Manuel and you through the training again. ‘Silent communication’ is the learning objective. We hadn't even thought about someone mimicking a DJ for us. But someone from the other youth club does it as a hobby. He asked us if he could play records here. Of course we gladly agreed. Yesterday he showed up to set up his small system. What would a large system look like? So it's almost more than just a hobby?“
”That's right. Do you have any idea how many watts the system has?”
“No. Michael's friend mumbled something about 2000, but I think he was still understating. It's good that all the residents will be here or have agreed that we can make noise until three. But they didn't know what our DJ considers noise!“ he grinned.
”So Michael's friend is fit again. Will I meet him today?”
“With 101% probability, yes. Now help me with the boxes. They have to go behind the bar in the kitchen. Michael is bringing lemons and oranges. We've already put ice in the freezer compartment. It's full of cubes. That should be enough. Michael also threw a load into the freezer for emergencies. They used three whole packages of those ice cube bags.“
We were so busy cleaning up that I didn't even realize Manuel and Sascha had arrived until I almost ran over Manuel.
”Hi Frank. Not so fast!”
Hey. What was up with him? He was almost nice again. Or rather, he was nice. He even managed to put a smile on his lips. A little hesitant, a little cautious, but a smile. Well, maybe the evening won't be that stressful after all.
“Hello Manuel. How are you?”
"Better again. Thanks for asking. And you?”
“I'm OK again, too. I'll be accepting a job here in town on Monday."
That was the wrong cue. I automatically thought of the nightmare with the mayor. My mood plummeted back to rock bottom. My eyes sought help from Daniel, who gestured to me to let me know that everything was OK. We'll see about that. Manuel had no idea what to make of the situation.
“Have I done something wrong?“
”No. Sorry, but I'm a bit afraid of showing up in the local section, because my personnel manager will surely read it.“
”Understandable. You probably gave yourself away.“
”Correctly recognized, Mr. Holmes.”
We continue to work. All the bottles within reach. Put the empty boxes next to the fridge. Set up the worried barrel. Daniel gave us a few tips on 'silent communication', which once again ended in nonsense.
I was just about to start rinsing a few glasses when Michael and his friend arrived. I went into the group room to have a look at him. Or rather, I wanted to go. I didn't get further than the door. My knees gave way. Even worse than the mayor was what stood there arm in arm with Michael, and was just giving him a kiss. Somehow I managed to sit down on a chair. In doing so, I knocked over a glass with a frenzied movement. This got me the attention of everyone present, including Mr. Marcus. He came up to me.
“Hi, I'm Christoph. Don't make me hear my family name from you today!"
I couldn't manage more than a stammered ‘hello.’ I was finished. My knees were shaking non-stop. Fortunately, Manuel was not in the room. He would have been delighted by the sight of me. Speak of the devil. There he came through the door with a box full of fruit.
I had least expected his reaction to my miserable appearance. Sascha was just able to catch the fruit box before it hit the floor. Mr. Marcus... uh... Christoph reacted more slowly and was very rudely knocked off course by Manuel.
"What's the matter with you, Frank? Did something happen to you? You're as pale as a ghost. Is it because of me?”
I couldn't answer. I was simply stunned. I could only stare at him. Apparently, he took my silence as confirmation of his last sentence and began to cry uncontrollably.
Damn it. The boy of my dreams is standing in front of me, crying because he thinks he's responsible for my miserable state. I must have had some reserves of strength somewhere. I got back on my feet. Manuel turned away. I grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him back to me and just kissed him. I didn't know what else to do. He was so shocked that he didn't even think about crying anymore. I risked it again, kissed him longer and hugged him. Now he also switched.
His hands went around me and pulled me even closer to him than I already was. He began to kiss me back. His tongue pushed between my lips, which I gladly opened for him. It was the most beautiful feeling I had ever felt. By now I was crying too – with joy.
I don't know how long we hugged and kissed. The next thing I can remember is the applause of everyone present. Manuel also slowly came to. That loving look in his eyes will always remain in my memory. I don't think I looked much different. Somehow we were all looking at each other. We kissed again briefly before breaking the embrace.
“So you two had better disappear in the bathroom. No, not what you are thinking again! Take a look at yourselves in the mirror. We can't put you behind the bar looking like that.”
Typical Daniel. He was the first to find his voice again. We really did retreat to the bathroom. We both really did look very affected. First of all, we needed to wash and rinse our eyes. Not without first kissing the last tears away from Manuel.
“You Frank. Sorry again about the lousy performance last Saturday. Michael gave me a real telling off afterwards. Can you forgive me?“
”Why do you even ask? I didn't exactly cover myself in glory with you either. You've already made up for it a thousand times over today!“
”A thousand and one times!” he said, and kissed me again.
That was settled. Something was still bothering me.
“Are we trying to be together?”
“Why are you asking such a stupid question?” 1002 times!
After we had civilized ourselves again, as far as possible, we ventured out again. We both still looked a bit worn out. But more couldn't be done.
The hall had filled up a bit in the meantime. Most of our troop was already there. I went to Michael first to thank him. He just grinned and asked why. I couldn't say that exactly either and just said for everything. Then I looked for Daniel, whom I found in the kitchen.
"Thanks for everything Daniel. Did you know that Michael talked to Manuel?”
“Talked is a harmless paraphrase. Christoph said that he has only seen Michael so angry twice before. During my action and during Manuel's. But I hadn't expected such a blatant effect. Neither with you on Christoph nor with Manuel on your condition.“
”Actually, I would have to turn down the job now. That would be quite a bit of nepotism.”
“Calm down,“ says Christoph, who had come into the kitchen unnoticed, ‘I only just found out myself. The only ones who knew about it were my dear Michael and the two nice guys.’ He pointed to Daniel and Sascha, who had also come into the kitchen.
”Well. Thank you. You really want to get me to the cemetery in record time.”
“Oh yes, you don't have to worry about the press photo. If I'm in the picture!” With that, Christoph disappeared to Michael, who was helping the DJ who had just arrived unload the CD cases.
It was about time to staff the bar. So I looked for Manuel. I found him already at his post. That's what I call zeal.
“Over here, Frank. I hope you like Jack and Cokes. We'll have to stick to non-alcoholic drinks for the rest of the evening, but right now I need something like this.“
”I don't mind.“
”Hey, that's no way to drink as a couple! Cross and look into each other's eyes!” Daniel interjected.
OK. I'll be happy to do that. Then a quick kiss. The flavor of this mixture of Manuel, Jack Daniels and Coke is great.
Now we were both at our posts. The prices had also been settled, so the crowds of visitors could come. Our DJ started with something quiet so that people could still talk. Slowly, the members of the other youth group arrived. The first member of the press came shortly thereafter. From the gay city magazine. When he realized that Manuel and I were together, we had to pose for a photo right away. After that, it was Michael and Christoph's and Daniel and Sascha's turn.
“Why did we all have to serve as models behind the bar in pairs?” I asked Daniel.
“It's simple. You are the bar couple of the third generation. So far, a couple has run the bar at every birthday party. At the first birthday, it was Michael and Christoph. By the way, they only got together on the day of the gig. It's strange how things repeat themselves.”
No sooner said than gone. From shortly after eight, we needed Daniel and Sascha at the bar. The place was packed. Daniel's first official act was to send Christoph home to fill up our ice cube supply.
The mayor showed up around nine. As if he would only stay for a short while, as I thought. He said a few words like any politician. Something like: Five years ago no one would have believed it – now a permanent fixture in youth counseling. Then he went on to the social part. He sat down at the bar and let the press hubbub wash over him, looking rather bored. As soon as the few reporters had left, it really got fun. He even let himself be dragged onto the dance floor, but only for a solo dance.
When the DJ announced “Only you”, the bar was suddenly unmanned. Daniel grabbed Sascha and Manuel grabbed me. Off to the dance floor. We danced, snuggled up close together. Fortunately, Manuel is quite good at it and led me. That was one of the most beautiful moments of the evening.
We were busy until three in the morning. I didn't even have half an hour to sit down. Despite many protests, we called it a night at three. It was half past three before all the people who hadn't stayed to help clean up had left. Then we had to make a quick clean up of the whole place. Fortunately, enough volunteers had come forward. Right on the stroke of four, Michael locked the door. I fell asleep on the way to Daniel's. Manuel kissed me provisionally awake in front of Daniel's house so that I could drag myself up to Daniel's room. Manuel and Daniel weren't doing much better either. We just managed to put our sleeping bags down. Daniel went straight to bed with his clothes on and was out like a light. We were both in a similar state. A quick kiss and we were out. K.O.
Chapter
14
Thanks to Maria's care, the next morning was a pleasure. Sometime around eleven, I was gently woken for a change. By a kiss from Manuel. All sleepy-eyed and disheveled, he looked even cuter. Simply adorable.
At breakfast, the three of us tried to describe the previous evening, which ended in chaos. Maria could only laugh. We all joined in.
After a somewhat late breakfast, we set off. We, that is, Manuel and I, since I was taking him with me, of course.
I had decided to use the family war council tonight for my outing. I told Manuel about that. He offered me the option of staying with him if something went wrong. I really didn't know if I shouldn't even wish for that, with the prospect of only one room away from my sweetheart. But then I thought about it and decided to hope for an outing without any major complications. At the train station, I said goodbye to Manuel with a quick and hopefully unobserved kiss.
When I arrived home, I immediately sensed that the atmosphere was tense.
After dinner, it was clear that the family had opened negotiations against me. Somehow, however, it was more like father against me. My mom stayed out of it completely. My dad gave me a big speech about everything I got from the family that raised me and now I want to leave them quietly, secretly and secretly. Fortunately, there was never any talk of me taking over the farm. I was able to use that as my first argument against my dad. In short, my dad couldn't find any argument against my moving to the city that I couldn't refute. At some point, my dad got loud. That's when I lost my cool.
"By the way, I also have personal reasons to get away from here!”
“And what would that be?“ he shouted at me, getting me all worked up.
”I'm gay.“ I didn't say it out loud, but afterwards you could have heard a pin drop.
”You're what?“
”I'm gay."
My father just stared at me as if I were a ghost. He didn't say anything more. I didn't look away. He alternated between hostile, indifferent and a few other indefinable, but certainly not friendly, nuances. After what seemed like an eternity, he went to the bar and poured himself a double, or rather a quadruple, whisky. My mom didn't say anything. But there was a smile playing around her lips. She must have already known, or at least suspected. My brother was visibly struggling with himself. He must have gone through all the occasions when I had seen him naked in his mind and wondered if the sight of him had aroused me. Dad sat down again. Still didn't say anything. Slowly the silence became oppressive. Still no reaction from my father. Only when he had emptied the whisky after what seemed like an eternity did he say, dangerously quietly:
“It's okay for you to leave. Better today than tomorrow. I don't want any fag stabbing me in the back in my house. Be glad that I have to watch my reputation, otherwise I would have kicked you out the door. Get out!"
He got himself another whiskey. My mother indicated to us both that we'd better disappear. There's nothing I'd rather do!
That's my father. Thank you for the conversation. I certainly didn't expect him to embrace me joyfully. Sometimes I expected even worse reactions, but somehow I was disappointed. However, with his hypocritical Catholic faith and the opinions of the pastor, could he afford any other decision at all? I still don't believe him to this day that the first sex was only on the wedding night.
My brother accompanied me to my room without saying a word. It had been a long time since he had been in these halls. I pointed to my desk chair and threw myself on the bed.
“You've got some really hard stuff down there. Are you serious? You like boys?”
"Yes. I'm serious. I love boys.”
Long silence. He looked at me, not nearly as hostile as my father.
“Have you ever jerked off to me?” It was obviously difficult for him to ask this question, which moved him so much.
“Clearly: No. You are and never were my type. If you want, I can introduce you to Manuel on neutral ground.“
”Manuel... you have a boyfriend?“
”Yes. Since yesterday.“
”You love him?“
”I'm happy when I see him. I'm happy when he's close to me. Yes, I love him.”
“My little brother's gay. Weird! Somehow I think that's cool. So even if Dad goes on a rampage after all, you have nothing to fear. If necessary, I'll put you up with my girlfriend for a few days. Can I tell her?“
”As long as you're sure the whole village doesn't know about it afterwards – no problem.“
”How do I recognize a gay guy?”
“Ask me something easier. Michael says you develop a sense for it over time. For some it's stronger, for others weaker. I guess I'm one of the latter.“
”Do you start tucking around and walking around with a handbag?“
”Can you imagine me doing that?“
”No.”
“Then what's the question? I'm no different than I was two hours ago just because you now know that I'm gay.“
”Yeah, right. Sorry, it was a stupid question.“
”It's okay. I'm used to you asking stupid questions."
Luckily I had a mouse with a short cable. Otherwise it would have hit me.
“Get a wireless mouse already!“ my brother scolded me.
”I will be careful. You've just proved to me why it's good to use a traditional mouse."
Now we both had to laugh. It's been a damn long time since we were able to do that together.
“You Frank. Surely you have some magazines with boys in them.“ An overripe tomato was pale compared to my brother's face.
”Yes I do. Second drawer from the bottom. Under the zip code book. Why?“
”Show me what type of guys you like. You know my taste in women too. Justice must be served.”
“Actually, what I told you about my 'dream woman'. Except that it's just my dream man. Sweet eyes, the color doesn't matter – longer hair, either blonde or very dark – beautiful face, even with glasses – beautiful figure, not a bodybuilder, but just an ordinary guy and a beautiful voice. But more important than anything else to me is character.“
”OK. Manuel fulfills all of that?”
“Yes. On all points. His smile alone knocks me out. He has wonderfully expressive eyes. You just have to look and you know how he feels.“
”Stop, stop gushing, I believe you're in love.”
“Think back to what I had to listen to about your first girlfriends. Compared to that, you got off pretty lightly.“
”OK, that point goes to you. Did you... did you...”
I wouldn't have thought that it was possible to make my brother's face even redder, but it actually worked. I almost had a laughing fit while my brother desperately struggled with the fishbone in his throat.
"You want to know if we've slept together before, or if I've slept with a boy!”
“Exactly.“ He seemed really blissful, so relieved he seemed.
”In both cases, yes."
It was wonderful to see his facial features derail.
“But not as you think. I slept next to him because we were both so exhausted last night that nothing would have been possible, not to mention the fact that Daniel, a buddy of ours, had his sleeping bag in the bed next to ours. As for the second part of your question, yes, I slept with you. Or don't you remember that I always came to you in bed on stormy nights and fell asleep in your arms?"
His face was a sight for gods. I still regret today that I didn't have a camera with me back then. With a huge fit of laughter, the tense facial expression of my counterpart relaxed. It's hard to believe that a jaw can drop so low.
“What do you actually always do in the city on Saturdays? Do you get lost in the gay bars or what?“
”No. I went to a gay youth club there. That's where I met Manuel and Daniel.“
”The name Manuel seems familiar to me from somewhere. Ah yes... the stud farm's son around here is also called Manuel.”
“Bull's eye! That's my boyfriend.“
”Him? You have good taste! Phew! You just did me a huge favor!“
”How's that? And how would you, a womanizer, know my taste in men?“
”It's simple. My girlfriend has teased me a few times about leaving me for this cute lad. At least there's no danger from that side anymore, and I know how to comfortably tell my girlfriend that she's getting a gay brother-in-law. You didn't even notice that in all your 'exam-no-job-no-boyfriend-I'm-gay misery'. We've been engaged for three weeks.” With that, he pointed to the silver ring on his hand.
Now it was my turn to send my jaw on a dive. My brother, engaged. OK. Gulp!
“Wow. How did she get you to say yes?”
“Simple. I love her.”
“Have you set a date for the wedding yet?”
"Yes. In ten weeks and six days.”
“So during the time when I'll probably be unemployed.“
”Exactly. I hope you'll be there. It's a Saturday, after all.“
”Don't worry. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Say 'yes' and you'll be tied down for the rest of your life.“
”Exactly. Well, good night then. You look like you could really use a good night's sleep.”
“You're right. I didn't go to bed until after four yesterday. Good night."
It's strange. We haven't talked like this in ages. Mostly we just saw each other coming and going. Now, suddenly, we could talk to each other again like we used to. Without me having to hide anything. It's a nice feeling to be able to be honest again.
Once again, Manuel's eyes accompanied me to sleep. This time, however, with his loving look.
Chapter
15
In the morning, everything was as usual. Somehow, everyone seemed to have forgotten or repressed my outing from the night before. In the afternoon, I grabbed the phone and disappeared into my room. Fortunately, it was so quiet at work today that I could disappear without any problems. First of all, I officially accepted my new job. Christoph had already finished the contract and posted it so that I couldn't change my mind. As soon as this phone call was done, I called Manuel.
“Preise here.”
From the voice, it had to be Manuel's mother. So his last name was Preise.
"Frank Kaufmann. Hello, could I speak to Manuel, please?”
“Manuel, hello!“
”Hello Manuel. Man, that was fast. Were you sitting by the phone?“
”Hi Frank. Good to hear you. Not quite. I was in the kitchen doing my math homework. I'll go to my room.“
”OK. Call me back then. Will your homework take much longer?”
“No. It's almost done. But first I want to talk to you, then I'll finish the rest. See you soon!“
A minute later the phone rang. It felt like an eternity.
”Hello.”
“I'm back. So now we can talk. How did your coming out go? The worst fear has probably not been fulfilled, since you probably don't call me from heaven or hell.“
”That's right. It was kind of weird...” Then I told him about the previous evening. ”...I haven't had a conversation like that with my brother in ages.”
We talked for a while about God, the world and ourselves. We definitely arranged to meet at his place for the weekend. Again by bike.
Nothing much happened the rest of the week, except that I looked forward to our phone calls every day.
On Thursday, Manuel asked me at short notice if I would like to come to him after work on Friday. Of course I would!
So I got on my bike on Friday evening. Thanks to Manuel, I almost became sporty.
When I arrived at the stud, Manuel was already expecting me.
"Hello Manuel!”
“Hi Frank. Come with me,” he said, took me by the hand and dragged me behind him into the guest room. Door closed! ‘I've been looking forward to this moment all week.’
I couldn't answer, because I was already thrown backwards onto the bed and my mouth was sealed with a great kiss.
After dinner, we sat down in Manuel's room. It was just wonderful to see him next to me, to feel his head on my shoulder while we watched TV. We were silent for a long time and just enjoyed each other's company.
“Hey, Frank!” Manuel started a conversation again.
“Hm.”
"If you've accepted the job now, you'll have to move into the city.”
Damn. I hadn't thought about that at all. Typical! Now I have a job in a city where I would have a better chance of finding a boyfriend, but I've finally found a young man here that I love! It's enough to make you want to cry.
“Hey. It's not that bad. I can visit you at the weekend. We don't see each other much more often here either.”
"That's right! You're just a sweetheart!”
There was silence again for a while and everyone hung on to their thoughts.
“Hey, Frank!”
“Yes.”
“It could be even worse.”
“Worse?”
"This year it looks like I'll be doing a victory lap. I've been totally destroyed this year. I think there was tension because of my personal problems, the solution to which you are hopefully, was to blame.”
“What's so bad about that?“
”My dad has hinted that he wants to send me to boarding school if I fail a year.“
”Damn it!“
”Exactly!”
Now it was Manuel who looked sad. I gently took him in my arms and kissed him again and again. We didn't talk much more that evening. We both rolled each other's problems while we held each other. At some point around midnight, I reluctantly disappeared into the guest room so that his parents wouldn't notice it too much.
I couldn't sleep for a long time. I kept thinking about how I could be with Manuel longer.
Chapter
16
“Wake up. Breakfast is downstairs.”
That's how I liked to be woken up. After I was aware enough to realize what was going on, I returned the gentle kiss. Mhm. You could already taste some of the fine coffee.
“Good morning. You've obviously already had a snack.“
”Of course. After all, I have to get you out of bed voluntarily. I would never have been able to get what my mom prepared for us on a tray to bring you breakfast in bed.“
”Too bad! Go ahead, I have to sort out my thoughts and clothes first.”
“OK. But don't put on just anything warm. It's going to be warm enough today.“
When I came into the kitchen, I saw why it wasn't working with the tray. The tabletop almost bent. Apparently Manuel's mom confused me with Obelix.
”What's going on? Are we fattening geese?“
”Nope,” Manuel held out a note:
'Good morning you two,
we went shopping. This will probably take longer today. There's nothing to eat at lunchtime, so tuck in properly.
Best, Christine'
"My mom just doesn't like it when anyone calls her ‘mom’ or ‘mum’. She always feels so old then, she says.”
“Mhm.“ I had discovered the coffee and set about getting myself into a responsive state. After the second cup, I was slowly coming around.
”In the morning, a cow is a better conversation partner than you!“
”Now I'm slowly coming around. It just takes me a little while to be really responsive. Sorry. Just a grumpy morning person.”
“It's okay. I could live with that.“
”Reassuring!” I joked, giving him a quick kiss.
After breakfast, we got on our bikes, not without preparing a nice lunch first. We rode to the small lake again. I was slowly getting used to Manuel's routes. When we arrived at the lake, I was still quite out of breath.
First of all, we took a refreshing plunge into the water. After splashing around for a while, we lay down in the sun to dry off.
Manuel looked simply beautiful lying there in the sun. I had to turn on my stomach very quickly at the sight of him. Manuel seemed to be absorbed in similar thoughts, because he turned on his stomach almost at the same time. Suddenly we both started laughing and blushed slightly.
Man, he was cute when he laughed, even though he was already very cute. I couldn't help but kiss him. He crawled close to me so that our sides touched. We stayed like that for a long time. Apparently I even dozed off a little. A wet hand on my neck woke me up.
“Don't you want to come back into the water, darling?“
”Not after that taste. You woke me up better this morning!“
”You can have more!“
My answer took a while.
”Mhm, that's how I like it.“
”Are you coming into the water now?“
”Sure.”
After some time in the lake, we got hungry and decided to eat our prey. We lay down opposite each other. So after every second bite we kissed. It was a good thing that we were lying on our stomachs. The way Manuel moved his beautiful ass, he also had a blood congestion in a very sensitive area of his body.
When we had finished eating, we stayed in the sun. Manuel came to me and snuggled up close to me. I turned to face him. The touch of his body sent bolts of excitement through my body. When we kissed, it felt tens of times more intense. It was as if not only our mouths were kissing, but our entire bodies were absorbed in the kiss.
I slowly fell into ecstasy and didn't even process that it all, as if by force, amounted to my first time. It's strange, I always thought about what my first time would be like, but somehow it turned out differently than I had imagined. Without a long build-up, without an agreement. We both just knew that we wanted to sleep together. There was no question at all as to why or even at this point in time. It was simply time.
I began to slide my tongue down Manuel's body. Slowly on his neck over the Adam's apple to the nipples. I began to gently pamper them with my tongue and teeth. A glance down showed me that it wasn't just his nipples, which were now hard, that liked this treatment. So I continued, down the breastbone to the navel. The taste of his sweat almost drove me crazy. Simply fantastic. When I got to his navel, I stroked up the inside of his thighs with one hand, starting at his knee, until I reached his most sacred spot. A lustful groan and the hand that gently stroked my back showed me that Manuel liked my treatment very much. The lust drops were already shining on the glans. I wanted to try these immediately and did so. I licked carefully with my tongue over his glans to get this juice. Whew! This horny hormone cocktail almost made me lose consciousness.
I had the desire to take his in my mouth. I did that too. Wow, what a feeling, to let this warm, pulsating flesh through my lips and to tease him with my tongue. When Manuel was close to orgasm, he pulled my head up and gave me a French kiss.
"So, now it's your turn!”
He said and turned me onto my back with gentle force. Manuel continued to give me French kisses and caress my ears.
"Mhm, I never would have thought that you could be so sensitive there.”
I was only able to say this because Manuel had taken his tongue out of my neck to set to work on my nipples with zeal. I gently stroked his hair.
"That tickles!”
“But it tastes awesome like you."
With that, he returned to his task. He moved his tongue back to my nipples and followed my path. I had more than enough pre-cum too. My glans was already totally shiny from it. Manuel gently put his lips over mine. Wow, I think I'm about to come. He gently ran his tongue along the tip of my penis, down the shaft and to my testicles. Every time his tongue touched a spot, lightning flashed through my balls. It was just amazing to feel so intensely. I pulled Manuel back to my mouth before I could come. I don't remember how far Manuel's tongue was in my throat, but it was pretty damn far. After a few of these intense kisses, Manuel whispered something in my ear that made my blood rush to the center of my body just at the thought of it.
“Let's do it in 69!”
Just the thought of it was gigantic. We were already in position. I gently took his back in my mouth while Manuel did exactly the same to me. We found a common rhythm more and more. Somehow it felt like our bodies were synchronizing. We caressed each other wildly. Our hands seemed to be everywhere. This ecstasy slowly increased to a climax. I could already feel the juice flowing out of my testicles towards the exit. It seemed like Manuel was feeling the same way. He, too, began to breathe more and more quickly. He started to twitch slowly, just like me. My mind screamed, “Stop, think of AIDS!” But my lust mercilessly blocked that out. I wanted everything from my beloved Manuel. As I poured myself into him, I also felt his seed shoot into my mouth. It tasted strange, but totally awesome. I swallow everything. During these moments, a kaleidoscope of sensual impressions swirled through my head and over Manuel. It was an intoxication of the senses that I have never experienced before. But one thing became clearer to me in these seconds, minutes, hours – I don't know anymore – than it was before. I LOVE MANUEL!
Chapter
17
When we had more or less recovered and were back on planet Earth, I realized that it must have been minutes. The sun was still shining and it seemed to be the same day as before our intoxication.
We lay down next to each other again and caressed each other's still-trembling bodies.
“I think we could both do with cooling off,” said Manuel.
“You're right. Let's go back into the water.“
”Yes. We did something pretty careless there. Even though your juice tastes damn good.”
With that, he kissed me again. Then we got up and went into the water, kissing each other all the time. The cooling down was really good. We were both totally sweaty. When we were standing in the water up to our necks, I hugged Manuel again very gently and kissed him long and hard.
“I love you!”
"I love you too, Frank!”
That felt great. I kissed Manuel again for it.
When we had cooled down to normal temperatures again, we lay down to dry.
After a while, Manuel said:
“Come on, let's drive on, we still have plans.”
No further words were needed. I knew what he wanted from me. This time I wouldn't hesitate.
When we arrived at the oak tree, I took his hand and we sat down hand in hand under the tree. Manuel snuggled his head on my shoulder. I let go of his hand, put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him even closer to me. We enjoyed the view and each other's company without saying a word.
I began to brood and cursed the fact that I had accepted the job in the city. Being away from Manuel all the time. I just couldn't keep that up. Somehow my romantic mood soon turned into quite a gloom. Of course, Manuel also noticed what was going on.
“Cheer up, we'll find a solution,” was his only comment when I told him my fear.
We set off for home as dusk fell.
When we arrived at his house, we were greeted by the aroma of hot delicacies. During the meal, we kept stealing loving glances at each other. After dinner, Christine shooed her husband out of the room and motioned for us to stay. Once the door was closed, she started.
“Sit down, the two of you.“
Completely perplexed, we followed this command.
”Now speak plainly. Manuel, you're gay, right? And you two are a couple, right?"
Boom! That hit home! Our glances were apparently not that inconspicuous after all. We could only nod. We probably both didn't look very confident.
“Hey! You look like two wet poodles. You might think that you are expecting your execution. Kiss each other as much as you want. I don't have a problem with you sleeping in the same bed, but please watch your eyes in public. Even a blind man with a cane and eye patch can see that you are head over heels in love. So now get out of here, or do you want to help me with the dishes?“
I rarely saw my sweetheart move so fast, so I followed him as quickly as possible, not without first letting go of a ‘thank you’ in Christine's direction.
”I was young and in love once too. But I looked for an easier love.”
When he arrived in his room, he threw himself on the bed, while I preferred the desk chair.
“What was that about?” he asked me, looking as if he didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"I'd say that was your outing and it couldn't have gone better!”
“That's right. Come here and give me a hug. I need someone to hold me so I don't start jumping for joy.“
”It would certainly be nice to watch, but I just can't resist your wish.”
With that, I landed in his arms. We spent the rest of the evening more or less arm in arm. We went to bed early without anything else happening. We fell asleep arm in arm. It's hard to believe how tired happiness can make you.
The next morning was like the one before, with the difference that waking up in Manuel's arms didn't bother me at all.
After breakfast, much to our mutual chagrin, I set off for home. I had to start studying after all. The exam was getting closer.