2025-07-10, 04:03 PM
He realized that he was slow. The times that were reported to him only confirmed his feeling. Even the shooting didn't work out. There was too much going on in his head. He knew he had to make a decision, but how? The season was almost over, maybe he would make it then.
He was 28 years old, a successful biathlete, and actually at the peak of his career.
He had been skiing since he was a child and when he started biathlon, he knew that this was his sport.
He made it to the top. His World Cup successes were the highlights.
But the sport also gave him the opportunity to avoid making some personal decisions. He realized very early on that he was attracted to men.
But he never wanted to admit to himself that he was really gay.
Of course there were men in his life, but these were only fleeting encounters, just slips. Then he met Marie. The two of them got along perfectly. Like him, she was ambitious in her sport. And she, too, tried to suppress her feelings. Each accepted the other as he was and made no demands on the other.
They became the dream couple of biathlon.
For years it worked wonderfully, but then the house of cards collapsed.
Sven and Marie wanted to get married. The date was set. Construction of the house should begin shortly. But then Marie fell in love. Her career as a biathlete was over for health reasons. The only reason for this wedding was Gideon.
But she realized that they wouldn't be happy that way. And so she decided for love and left Gideon.
For Gideon, it was as if the ground had been pulled out from under him. He had no one to turn to either. He had never allowed himself to build a real relationship. He fell into an emotional hole.
His performance deteriorated rapidly. His trainer tried to find out what was going on, but Gideon didn't let anyone get close to him. He lost his edge, stopped eating properly and lost a lot of weight.
He was well aware that he couldn't keep it up for long, but he
didn't see a way out.
Then came the breakdown.
It was at the beginning of the summer training camp.
While riding his bike, he had a circulatory collapse. He lost consciousness and
drove down an embankment. He dislocated his shoulder and severely tore his cruciate ligament. He was taken to the hospital. Since a concussion could not be ruled out, he stayed there overnight.
Suddenly he was alone with his thoughts. He could no longer distract himself from them. He didn't get any sleep that night. His thoughts raced. He realized a few things, for example, that it was no longer possible for him to hide his inclinations in the long run. But how was he supposed to do that? The insults went through his mind: fag, queer,
back-loader, etc.
In the morning, he didn't know what to think anymore. But he decided to get help. His trainer Frank picked him up. The two got along very well. And yet Gideon was afraid to confide in him.
When Gideon told Frank that he wanted to make an appointment with Dr. Brack, the team psychologist, Frank was deeply relieved. He was really very worried about his friend. Frank also worked hard to make sure that Gideon got an appointment very quickly.
First, Dr. Brack took the normal medical history up to Gideon's accident. He also asked him about sleep disorders and his appetite.
Then he wanted to know why Gideon was there.
This embarrassed the athlete a lot.
The doctor immediately noticed that Gideon had severe problems answering this question. So he began to cautiously approach the real problem.
They talked about sports and family. But they still stuck to the general things.
When the time was up, they decided to meet again every day.
Gideon left the session feeling much relieved. He began to believe that the psychologist could help him.
When he arrived on time the next day, he was determined to tell the doc what his real problem was.
They greeted each other and the doc asked him how he had been since the last session. Gideon had to admit, to the doc's surprise, that he had been very well. He had had trouble falling asleep, but then slept soundly until the morning.
When asked why he hadn't been able to fall asleep, he replied that a lot of thoughts had been going around in his head and it had been difficult to get them to stop.
“What were these thoughts?” the doctor pressed.
“Many different ones,” came the evasive answer.
But the doctor wasn't satisfied with that. “Was there a main thought? A thought that was the hardest to quiet?”
Gideon kneaded his hands. “Yes. ... How and where to start!”
Suddenly he had a real lump in his throat.
“With what? With what do you want to start?”
"Accepting the truth and finally living.”
“What truth?“
Gideon couldn't look his counterpart in the face.
”What I am!“
”What are you?” Dr. Brack pressed on.
Gideon put his hands over his face and whispered, ‘Gay!’
The doctor was shocked.
Not that his patient was gay, but about the agony that this realization brought to this young man. About the fact that this fact still had the power to destroy a person in our time.
At first, the doctor had to search for words.
“Why are you so afraid of it?” He asked gently.
Gideon had to calm down first. The doctor gave him time to do so. But the question remained and had to be answered.
“I think I'm afraid of the consequences.”
"What would they be?”
“I would lose friends, have to lead a completely different life. I would even have to give up the sport that means everything to me. It is my life, after all. What would my family say? And my fans? I would lose everything.“
Gideon was desperate.
”I would like to end the session here.
However, I would like to ask you to sit down today and write down the reasons why you think you would lose everything that is valuable and dear to you in your life if you were to come out."
Gideon left the practice with very mixed feelings. It was the very first time in his life that he had admitted to himself and to a stranger that he was gay.
It was a really great feeling. He had thrown part of his burden overboard. On the other hand, he almost felt that everyone could see it on his face.
As if he had the word “gay” tattooed on his forehead. That scared him again.
But he also realized that this was the only right way.
That evening, he was really euphoric. This was also noticed by his teammates. They had a great evening together.
But when Gideon set about the task that Dr. Brack had given him, he once again had the feeling that a heavy burden was weighing on his soul.
He sat alone in his room and thought about the doctor's question.
Yes, why should he lose everything that meant something to him? He remained the person he had always been, happier and more open perhaps, but still very much himself.
The change that would come with coming out scared him. He feared losing friends, that his family would not stand by him and that he would lose the respect of his fans, which was very important to him. He wrote it down and presented it to the doctor the next day.
"Hello Gideon. How are you today? How did you get on with your task?”
“I'm actually doing quite well. But your task cost me a lot of nerves!“
”Why is that?“
”I've thought of many reasons why I shouldn't come out. But for every reason I could think of, the counter-reason came right away. For example, I might lose friends if they found out that I...”
he had to take a deep breath before he could continue. Hesitantly, he continued.
”...gay.
But on the other hand, real friends would know that I haven't changed. I'm still the same person. So I'd always keep my real friends, right?”
“That's true.
However, some of your friends may drop you because they can't handle it. Friends you thought you knew. I don't want to scare you, but you have to realize that. You can't ask too much of people.”
In the next few sessions, they discussed how Gideon should begin his coming out. What was he already ready for? Did he want to tell only a few people, or should he make it generally known? Should his family know? How much of a strain would it be on his job?
Sven started training again after two weeks. Now the moment had come for him to start making his “new life” public. The first person he wanted to tell was one of his best friends: his trainer Frank.
Gideon asked him to come to his room after dinner. He waited for him excitedly.
They talked about the training and how much Gideon could take in this regard again. Then Frank asked if Gideon was feeling better now.
“The sessions with Dr. Brack seem to agree with you!”
"Yes, it's going quite well. But it will probably be a long way before I feel really good again.”
“Really? I have the feeling that you are already back to your old self!“
”I'll never be that again!“
Frank looked at him in astonishment.
”Why is that?“
”Because I was just faking it for you and everyone else.“
Gideon looked down sheepishly.
”You'll have to explain that in more detail,”
his friend urged him.
“You know that Marie and I have separated.”
“Yes, and I thought that was what had upset you so much.”
"That's true in a sense, yes... Have I ever told you the reason for our separation?”
“You said at the time that things had been going wrong between you for quite a while and that Marie had fallen in love with someone else.“
”Nothing ever happened between Marie and me...“ Sven interrupted him violently.
”Excuse me?“
”If we had gotten married, the marriage would have been a sham for me and for Marie.”
Frank's eyes widened as he began to understand what Sven was saying.
“Marie realized it much earlier than I did, thank God. Otherwise, I might have continued like this for the rest of my life. And at some point, I would have broken,” he continued.
“Are you telling me that you're gay?”
Sven looked Frank in the eye and nodded.
For a while, neither of them said anything. Then Frank asked:
“What do you expect from me now?”
“I don't know... maybe that nothing changes between us and that we remain friends?”
Again, there was silence for a while.
“I don't understand,“ Frank finally spoke up again, ‘why you kept it secret for so long? But now at least I know what has been bothering you for so long. In my eyes, you are still the same person you always were. And I would be happy if we could continue to be friends.’
”You don't know what that means to me.”
Gideon laughed with relief. They talked for a long time that evening, and by the time they parted, their friendship had grown even stronger.
This had been the first step.
The second step was to tell his parents and his sister. He wanted to talk to his sister first...
The very next weekend, the opportunity arose. He invited his sister to dinner. When they got their food, Gideon tried to turn their conversation to his problem.
“Say, Susan, you and Marie always got along very well, didn't you?”
“We still get along very well, why?”
"Did you also talk about private things?”
“Yes, sure, but what are you getting at?“ His sister looked at him questioningly.
”Have you ever talked about our separation?“
”Yes, of course.“
”What did she tell you?“
”She told me that she fell in love with someone else!“
”Do you know who?”
“Yes, of course. And if you want to know if I know about you, the answer is yes!“
Sven didn't know what to say. Susan looked him in the eye. She took his hand and squeezed it. Then he knew that everything was fine.
During dessert, Sven asked:
”Do Mom and Dad know too?”
“Yes.“
Sven was incredibly relieved. His parents hadn't changed their behavior towards him.
So he could assume that they accepted it.
”Why didn't you ever tell me that you knew what was wrong with me?”
“I can only speak for myself, big brother. But I figured I shouldn't force you to come out. And you're rarely home. It took me a while to realize it, too. Besides, it's your life, isn't it? I guess our parents felt the same way. I think they're waiting for you to finally tell them.”
And that's exactly what Sven wanted to do. The opportunity arose the next morning at breakfast.
“Good morning!”
“Good morning, my boy. Did you sleep well?”
“As well as I haven't slept in ages.”
"By the way, Susan sends her regards. She called earlier.”
His father reported when he came in.
“Well then she certainly also told what we talked about yesterday, right?”
He had a lump in his throat. He was still afraid of this conversation.
“She made a few suggestions.” Said his mother.
"Susan also said that you have a question for us!”
His parents looked at him expectantly.
Taking a deep breath, Gideon asked,
“Why didn't you tell me that you suspected for quite a while that I was homosexual?”
“That's a good question,” his father looked him openly in the face. “We thought that you should decide for yourself when you are ready to tell us.”
“Yes, that's what Susan meant, too. And you're okay with it?“
”Honey, it's not up to us. We want you to be happy and we really hope that you find someone who will make you happy.” His mother took him in her arms.
“Gideon, what really bothered us was that we saw how much you were struggling. And we couldn't help you because we didn't know what was bothering you for a long time. That was really hard for us!"
When Gideon was back at the training camp, he realized how much the last few weeks had drained him mentally.
He realized that he could really use the vacation, the obligatory fourteen days of vacation remaining before the exhausting season. Gideon wanted to spend these days with his teammate Eirik Aukland in Norway. He lived near Stockholm. He had asked Gideon if he wanted to visit him during the last week of the previous season, and Gideon had gladly accepted. Gideon had taken a shine to Norway and so he also had the opportunity to visit friends.
He arrived there one early afternoon. Eirik lived in a two-family house. His younger brother Fredrik lived in the second apartment.
To Sven's surprise, Eirik's older brother Doug was currently living in the two-room apartment in the basement.
Doug was the same age as Gideon and had just switched from cross-country skiing to biathlon. The upcoming competitions would mark his second season. Gideon hadn't had much contact with Doug, but he really liked the tall, blond athlete.
He was happy to have the opportunity to get to know the young man better.
He rested for the first two days. He slept a lot, read a little and visited old friends.
Since Eirik had to take care of his advertising contracts, he apologized a thousand times for that, Doug had to play the “tourist guide”. But this task didn't seem to bother him. Gideon also enjoyed the other's presence.
He felt attracted to Doug and for the first time in his life he could honestly admit his feelings. He didn't have any hopes, since it still seemed abstract to him that there could be other athletes, let alone other biathletes, who were gay. Doug showed him the sights of Stockholm. They visited the Norwegian training camp, went out to eat together and went to the disco or the movies in the evenings.
The fortnight went by in a flash and Gideon felt really good. Unfortunately Doug had to cancel the last evening because he was invited to a friend's birthday party. Sven was very sorry about this and decided to go out alone that evening. Doug promised Gideon that he would take him to the plane the next morning.
When Doug had left, Gideon set off. He had noticed a disco in the city center that had a rainbow flag in the window. Since he hardly needed to be afraid of being discovered, he entered.
The place was already quite lively. Apparently, a birthday was even being celebrated in the back area of the disco. Gideon went to the bar and ordered a drink. Then he let the events take effect on him. In the world of this bar, it seemed quite normal for two men to dance with each other, kiss and exchange caresses. The music was good and literally pulled him onto the dance floor. And where before there had been fear of discovery and rejection, now a feeling of recognition and welcome spread.
Suddenly he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around with a start and looked into the big, beautiful and slightly irritated eyes of Doug.
Both spoke at the same time.
“What are you doing here?”
They had to laugh.
"I'm celebrating a friend's birthday here, like I told you.”
“And I felt like dancing.“
”You don't happen to know what this place is, do you?“ Doug asked.
”If you mean whether I know that this is a place mainly gay people come to, I have to say yes, I do know that. And I'm not lost!”
Gideon looked Doug firmly in the eye. He knew that he was blushing quite a bit. But he didn't want to lie anymore. He didn't want to advertise his sexual orientation, but if the conversation turned to that topic, he wanted to answer honestly.
Doug smiled.
"I didn't know that the good Lord fulfilled hopes so quickly.”
“Aren't your friends going to wonder where you are?“
”No, I don't think so. I told them I had to talk to you and that it might take a while.“
”How come you're celebrating your friend's birthday,
his eyes were fixed on Doug,
in a gay disco?”
He was 28 years old, a successful biathlete, and actually at the peak of his career.
He had been skiing since he was a child and when he started biathlon, he knew that this was his sport.
He made it to the top. His World Cup successes were the highlights.
But the sport also gave him the opportunity to avoid making some personal decisions. He realized very early on that he was attracted to men.
But he never wanted to admit to himself that he was really gay.
Of course there were men in his life, but these were only fleeting encounters, just slips. Then he met Marie. The two of them got along perfectly. Like him, she was ambitious in her sport. And she, too, tried to suppress her feelings. Each accepted the other as he was and made no demands on the other.
They became the dream couple of biathlon.
For years it worked wonderfully, but then the house of cards collapsed.
Sven and Marie wanted to get married. The date was set. Construction of the house should begin shortly. But then Marie fell in love. Her career as a biathlete was over for health reasons. The only reason for this wedding was Gideon.
But she realized that they wouldn't be happy that way. And so she decided for love and left Gideon.
For Gideon, it was as if the ground had been pulled out from under him. He had no one to turn to either. He had never allowed himself to build a real relationship. He fell into an emotional hole.
His performance deteriorated rapidly. His trainer tried to find out what was going on, but Gideon didn't let anyone get close to him. He lost his edge, stopped eating properly and lost a lot of weight.
He was well aware that he couldn't keep it up for long, but he
didn't see a way out.
Then came the breakdown.
It was at the beginning of the summer training camp.
While riding his bike, he had a circulatory collapse. He lost consciousness and
drove down an embankment. He dislocated his shoulder and severely tore his cruciate ligament. He was taken to the hospital. Since a concussion could not be ruled out, he stayed there overnight.
Suddenly he was alone with his thoughts. He could no longer distract himself from them. He didn't get any sleep that night. His thoughts raced. He realized a few things, for example, that it was no longer possible for him to hide his inclinations in the long run. But how was he supposed to do that? The insults went through his mind: fag, queer,
back-loader, etc.
In the morning, he didn't know what to think anymore. But he decided to get help. His trainer Frank picked him up. The two got along very well. And yet Gideon was afraid to confide in him.
When Gideon told Frank that he wanted to make an appointment with Dr. Brack, the team psychologist, Frank was deeply relieved. He was really very worried about his friend. Frank also worked hard to make sure that Gideon got an appointment very quickly.
First, Dr. Brack took the normal medical history up to Gideon's accident. He also asked him about sleep disorders and his appetite.
Then he wanted to know why Gideon was there.
This embarrassed the athlete a lot.
The doctor immediately noticed that Gideon had severe problems answering this question. So he began to cautiously approach the real problem.
They talked about sports and family. But they still stuck to the general things.
When the time was up, they decided to meet again every day.
Gideon left the session feeling much relieved. He began to believe that the psychologist could help him.
When he arrived on time the next day, he was determined to tell the doc what his real problem was.
They greeted each other and the doc asked him how he had been since the last session. Gideon had to admit, to the doc's surprise, that he had been very well. He had had trouble falling asleep, but then slept soundly until the morning.
When asked why he hadn't been able to fall asleep, he replied that a lot of thoughts had been going around in his head and it had been difficult to get them to stop.
“What were these thoughts?” the doctor pressed.
“Many different ones,” came the evasive answer.
But the doctor wasn't satisfied with that. “Was there a main thought? A thought that was the hardest to quiet?”
Gideon kneaded his hands. “Yes. ... How and where to start!”
Suddenly he had a real lump in his throat.
“With what? With what do you want to start?”
"Accepting the truth and finally living.”
“What truth?“
Gideon couldn't look his counterpart in the face.
”What I am!“
”What are you?” Dr. Brack pressed on.
Gideon put his hands over his face and whispered, ‘Gay!’
The doctor was shocked.
Not that his patient was gay, but about the agony that this realization brought to this young man. About the fact that this fact still had the power to destroy a person in our time.
At first, the doctor had to search for words.
“Why are you so afraid of it?” He asked gently.
Gideon had to calm down first. The doctor gave him time to do so. But the question remained and had to be answered.
“I think I'm afraid of the consequences.”
"What would they be?”
“I would lose friends, have to lead a completely different life. I would even have to give up the sport that means everything to me. It is my life, after all. What would my family say? And my fans? I would lose everything.“
Gideon was desperate.
”I would like to end the session here.
However, I would like to ask you to sit down today and write down the reasons why you think you would lose everything that is valuable and dear to you in your life if you were to come out."
Gideon left the practice with very mixed feelings. It was the very first time in his life that he had admitted to himself and to a stranger that he was gay.
It was a really great feeling. He had thrown part of his burden overboard. On the other hand, he almost felt that everyone could see it on his face.
As if he had the word “gay” tattooed on his forehead. That scared him again.
But he also realized that this was the only right way.
That evening, he was really euphoric. This was also noticed by his teammates. They had a great evening together.
But when Gideon set about the task that Dr. Brack had given him, he once again had the feeling that a heavy burden was weighing on his soul.
He sat alone in his room and thought about the doctor's question.
Yes, why should he lose everything that meant something to him? He remained the person he had always been, happier and more open perhaps, but still very much himself.
The change that would come with coming out scared him. He feared losing friends, that his family would not stand by him and that he would lose the respect of his fans, which was very important to him. He wrote it down and presented it to the doctor the next day.
"Hello Gideon. How are you today? How did you get on with your task?”
“I'm actually doing quite well. But your task cost me a lot of nerves!“
”Why is that?“
”I've thought of many reasons why I shouldn't come out. But for every reason I could think of, the counter-reason came right away. For example, I might lose friends if they found out that I...”
he had to take a deep breath before he could continue. Hesitantly, he continued.
”...gay.
But on the other hand, real friends would know that I haven't changed. I'm still the same person. So I'd always keep my real friends, right?”
“That's true.
However, some of your friends may drop you because they can't handle it. Friends you thought you knew. I don't want to scare you, but you have to realize that. You can't ask too much of people.”
In the next few sessions, they discussed how Gideon should begin his coming out. What was he already ready for? Did he want to tell only a few people, or should he make it generally known? Should his family know? How much of a strain would it be on his job?
Sven started training again after two weeks. Now the moment had come for him to start making his “new life” public. The first person he wanted to tell was one of his best friends: his trainer Frank.
Gideon asked him to come to his room after dinner. He waited for him excitedly.
They talked about the training and how much Gideon could take in this regard again. Then Frank asked if Gideon was feeling better now.
“The sessions with Dr. Brack seem to agree with you!”
"Yes, it's going quite well. But it will probably be a long way before I feel really good again.”
“Really? I have the feeling that you are already back to your old self!“
”I'll never be that again!“
Frank looked at him in astonishment.
”Why is that?“
”Because I was just faking it for you and everyone else.“
Gideon looked down sheepishly.
”You'll have to explain that in more detail,”
his friend urged him.
“You know that Marie and I have separated.”
“Yes, and I thought that was what had upset you so much.”
"That's true in a sense, yes... Have I ever told you the reason for our separation?”
“You said at the time that things had been going wrong between you for quite a while and that Marie had fallen in love with someone else.“
”Nothing ever happened between Marie and me...“ Sven interrupted him violently.
”Excuse me?“
”If we had gotten married, the marriage would have been a sham for me and for Marie.”
Frank's eyes widened as he began to understand what Sven was saying.
“Marie realized it much earlier than I did, thank God. Otherwise, I might have continued like this for the rest of my life. And at some point, I would have broken,” he continued.
“Are you telling me that you're gay?”
Sven looked Frank in the eye and nodded.
For a while, neither of them said anything. Then Frank asked:
“What do you expect from me now?”
“I don't know... maybe that nothing changes between us and that we remain friends?”
Again, there was silence for a while.
“I don't understand,“ Frank finally spoke up again, ‘why you kept it secret for so long? But now at least I know what has been bothering you for so long. In my eyes, you are still the same person you always were. And I would be happy if we could continue to be friends.’
”You don't know what that means to me.”
Gideon laughed with relief. They talked for a long time that evening, and by the time they parted, their friendship had grown even stronger.
This had been the first step.
The second step was to tell his parents and his sister. He wanted to talk to his sister first...
The very next weekend, the opportunity arose. He invited his sister to dinner. When they got their food, Gideon tried to turn their conversation to his problem.
“Say, Susan, you and Marie always got along very well, didn't you?”
“We still get along very well, why?”
"Did you also talk about private things?”
“Yes, sure, but what are you getting at?“ His sister looked at him questioningly.
”Have you ever talked about our separation?“
”Yes, of course.“
”What did she tell you?“
”She told me that she fell in love with someone else!“
”Do you know who?”
“Yes, of course. And if you want to know if I know about you, the answer is yes!“
Sven didn't know what to say. Susan looked him in the eye. She took his hand and squeezed it. Then he knew that everything was fine.
During dessert, Sven asked:
”Do Mom and Dad know too?”
“Yes.“
Sven was incredibly relieved. His parents hadn't changed their behavior towards him.
So he could assume that they accepted it.
”Why didn't you ever tell me that you knew what was wrong with me?”
“I can only speak for myself, big brother. But I figured I shouldn't force you to come out. And you're rarely home. It took me a while to realize it, too. Besides, it's your life, isn't it? I guess our parents felt the same way. I think they're waiting for you to finally tell them.”
And that's exactly what Sven wanted to do. The opportunity arose the next morning at breakfast.
“Good morning!”
“Good morning, my boy. Did you sleep well?”
“As well as I haven't slept in ages.”
"By the way, Susan sends her regards. She called earlier.”
His father reported when he came in.
“Well then she certainly also told what we talked about yesterday, right?”
He had a lump in his throat. He was still afraid of this conversation.
“She made a few suggestions.” Said his mother.
"Susan also said that you have a question for us!”
His parents looked at him expectantly.
Taking a deep breath, Gideon asked,
“Why didn't you tell me that you suspected for quite a while that I was homosexual?”
“That's a good question,” his father looked him openly in the face. “We thought that you should decide for yourself when you are ready to tell us.”
“Yes, that's what Susan meant, too. And you're okay with it?“
”Honey, it's not up to us. We want you to be happy and we really hope that you find someone who will make you happy.” His mother took him in her arms.
“Gideon, what really bothered us was that we saw how much you were struggling. And we couldn't help you because we didn't know what was bothering you for a long time. That was really hard for us!"
When Gideon was back at the training camp, he realized how much the last few weeks had drained him mentally.
He realized that he could really use the vacation, the obligatory fourteen days of vacation remaining before the exhausting season. Gideon wanted to spend these days with his teammate Eirik Aukland in Norway. He lived near Stockholm. He had asked Gideon if he wanted to visit him during the last week of the previous season, and Gideon had gladly accepted. Gideon had taken a shine to Norway and so he also had the opportunity to visit friends.
He arrived there one early afternoon. Eirik lived in a two-family house. His younger brother Fredrik lived in the second apartment.
To Sven's surprise, Eirik's older brother Doug was currently living in the two-room apartment in the basement.
Doug was the same age as Gideon and had just switched from cross-country skiing to biathlon. The upcoming competitions would mark his second season. Gideon hadn't had much contact with Doug, but he really liked the tall, blond athlete.
He was happy to have the opportunity to get to know the young man better.
He rested for the first two days. He slept a lot, read a little and visited old friends.
Since Eirik had to take care of his advertising contracts, he apologized a thousand times for that, Doug had to play the “tourist guide”. But this task didn't seem to bother him. Gideon also enjoyed the other's presence.
He felt attracted to Doug and for the first time in his life he could honestly admit his feelings. He didn't have any hopes, since it still seemed abstract to him that there could be other athletes, let alone other biathletes, who were gay. Doug showed him the sights of Stockholm. They visited the Norwegian training camp, went out to eat together and went to the disco or the movies in the evenings.
The fortnight went by in a flash and Gideon felt really good. Unfortunately Doug had to cancel the last evening because he was invited to a friend's birthday party. Sven was very sorry about this and decided to go out alone that evening. Doug promised Gideon that he would take him to the plane the next morning.
When Doug had left, Gideon set off. He had noticed a disco in the city center that had a rainbow flag in the window. Since he hardly needed to be afraid of being discovered, he entered.
The place was already quite lively. Apparently, a birthday was even being celebrated in the back area of the disco. Gideon went to the bar and ordered a drink. Then he let the events take effect on him. In the world of this bar, it seemed quite normal for two men to dance with each other, kiss and exchange caresses. The music was good and literally pulled him onto the dance floor. And where before there had been fear of discovery and rejection, now a feeling of recognition and welcome spread.
Suddenly he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around with a start and looked into the big, beautiful and slightly irritated eyes of Doug.
Both spoke at the same time.
“What are you doing here?”
They had to laugh.
"I'm celebrating a friend's birthday here, like I told you.”
“And I felt like dancing.“
”You don't happen to know what this place is, do you?“ Doug asked.
”If you mean whether I know that this is a place mainly gay people come to, I have to say yes, I do know that. And I'm not lost!”
Gideon looked Doug firmly in the eye. He knew that he was blushing quite a bit. But he didn't want to lie anymore. He didn't want to advertise his sexual orientation, but if the conversation turned to that topic, he wanted to answer honestly.
Doug smiled.
"I didn't know that the good Lord fulfilled hopes so quickly.”
“Aren't your friends going to wonder where you are?“
”No, I don't think so. I told them I had to talk to you and that it might take a while.“
”How come you're celebrating your friend's birthday,
his eyes were fixed on Doug,
in a gay disco?”