Forums

Lukas
So now the time had come.
My twin sister and I were on our way to the airport to start our new life. Well, it wasn't really that new.
Lara and I lived in the USA from birth until the age of eight. After that, the whole family moved to Germany because of my dad's job and now, nine years later, we were just going back. Our parents left a week ago. However, we still had to finish the rest of our schooling and in the meantime we were staying with our grandparents. I didn't even want to imagine what kind of scene they would put on at the airport when we had to leave.
Lara sat next to me and didn't say a word, which is really unusual for her. She was actually a person who liked to talk a lot. To be honest, sometimes a little too much for my taste. But don't get me wrong, I really love my sister more than anything. She's the only person who knows I'm gay. As twins, we trust each other unconditionally.
When we arrived at the airport, our grandparents weren't as bad as I had imagined. Actually, the whole farewell went quite smoothly, although I have to admit that I had a few tears in my eyes.
I was really glad that I could finally relax after all the formalities at the airport.
Lara, who was sitting next to me at the window, looked at me.
“So, do you already have any idea what it will be like when we come back after such a long time?"
I just shrugged.
I mean, sure, we've been in contact with my uncle and aunt, who live on a farm near Rapid City, but still, nine years is a relatively long time, especially at our age.
Lara grinned to herself, which could not mean anything good. “I'm curious to see what this Matt looks like. If you go by the children's photos, then he must be a real cutie now. Maybe he's something for you.”
Since I told Lara that I'm gay, she's been trying to set me up with almost every guy. Matt isn't really our cousin either. My uncle remarried about eight years ago and Matt is the son of his new wife, so he's our stepcousin, if that's a thing.
"Lara, just because he's cute doesn't mean he's gay.”
“What isn't can still happen. Who could resist you? If you weren't my brother, I would have thrown myself at you long ago."
Well, I really didn't look bad. Black shoulder-length hair, about 1.85 tall and relatively well-trained, since I was in the swimming club for a long time and took it really seriously.
Lara also had black hair that reached her hips, big brown doe eyes and, as far as I could tell, a really good body. In addition, Lara radiated joy to everyone she saw.
"Lara, I'll find someone for myself, don't worry.”
“If you keep up the same speed in finding someone as you have done so far, then I can keep waiting forever for the four of us to go out together, and you don't want to take that joy away from me. So it's better for me to give you a hand, just to be on the safe side."
In the meantime, the plane taxied to the runway.
“What do you think, is the ranch still the same as it was nine years ago?” I asked.
Lara smiled. ”Quite possible. I certainly hope so. I haven't been this excited in a long time. I couldn't sleep all night and had to run to the bathroom all the time.”
“I noticed. I'm actually surprised that Grandma and Grandpa didn't say anything about the constant slamming of the door during the night. Shame on you for robbing me of my sleep, poor little boy.“
”All right, I'll do it when I find the time."
At that same moment, she gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“I hope you know that I love you very much."
I just nodded. Of course I knew that, just as she knew it in return.
Lara leaned her head on my shoulder and slid a little back and forth in her seat to find a comfortable position in which she could stay for a longer period of time. I also tried to make myself a little more comfortable, but it wasn't that easy in economy class. I really didn't know how I was going to survive this hours-long flight without damage.
But somehow you get through everything, and that's how we did it here too. Lara and I slept through most of the time because of the last night, so the time passed even faster.
Unfortunately, our parents couldn't pick us up from the airport. But our cousin had taken on this task. Now the only problem for us was that we didn't know what Matt actually looked like.
After we finally had our luggage back and were standing in the airport hall after tons of security checks, Lara asked, slightly worried:
“Hey, does Matt actually know what we look like, or is it better if we quickly make a sign?”
"I think our parents are smart enough to have shown him photos.”
Lara's disbelieving look showed me that she was not yet completely convinced of this.
When we were still standing around alone after ten minutes, I also slowly began to have my doubts.
Now it was really getting to me.
"Let's just go around and ask all the guys who are about our age if they are Matt, otherwise we'll still be standing here tonight.”
Lara grinned. “It's a good thing the airport is so small. It's best if we go in separate directions, just shout when you've found him.”
So Lara and I went off in different directions to look for Matt. I hadn't walked more than two meters when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"What do you want now, Lara?”
But when I turned around, it wasn't Lara standing before me, but the dream of my sleepless nights. This boy in front of me had bright blue eyes, short blonde hair and mesmerizing lips. He was a little taller than me, so I had to raise my head a little to look him directly in the eye.
It was impossible for me to say anything. I felt like I was standing in front of an angel.
“Sorry, are you Lukas? I'm Matt."
It took me a while to understand what he had actually asked me. This couldn't be possible, this cute boy couldn't really be my cousin. How would I survive the next few years if I always walked around with a semi-erection in his presence. I didn't even want to think about it.
“Yes, I'm Lukas. I'm glad we finally got to meet.“
I held out my hand in greeting, but instead of taking it, he pulled me towards him and hugged me.
”After all, we're family now, so we might as well dispense with the formalities,” he said after he let go of me.
I was just about to cope with everything when I heard Lara behind me.
“Hey, you should be looking for Matt, not flirting.”
“This is Matt and he found me.”
Lara let out a small scream and threw herself into Matt's arms.
“It's nice to finally meet you,” she beamed at him.
“You kept me waiting for a long time.“
”Yes, I know, I'm sorry too, but I just left too late. I hope you're not too angry with me.“
”Nonsense,” I said, interrupting her. ”Now you're here.”
Matt smiled, oh God, and how he smiled. Actually, he would need a license for that. In any case, it almost bowled me over.
“Well, that's good. Come on, let's go to the car.”
Matt grabbed most of the luggage and went ahead.
Lara and I followed him.
“Well, isn't he something for you?” she whispered to me. ‘I mean, he looks totally cute and that smile, it should be illegal.’
I had to grin, Lara had had exactly the same thought as me.
“I'm not denying that he's cute, or that I don't like him, but like I said, that doesn't mean that he's gay. Even if he were gay, which I don't really believe, then Matt doesn't necessarily have to fancy me.”
“At least he hugged you. Not every guy would do that voluntarily, because otherwise he'd panic about being labeled as gay.“
”Lara, I think you're just reading too much into some things.”
“Hey, where are you guys?” Matt called to us from the front. ‘We should hurry to avoid the rush hour traffic, otherwise it will take us hours to get out of the city.’
We walked a little faster again to catch up with Matt.
When we arrived at the car, we loaded everything into the trunk, where it was quite crowded. It took some skillful packing to fit everything in.
“I thought your parents had already brought most of your things, so where did you guys get all the stuff from?” Matt asked, shaking his head, when we had finally stowed everything.
“You'll have to ask Lara about that; she kept bringing more stuff that absolutely had to come along. But you know how it is with women."
Matt laughed with me while Lara acted offended.
Before I could say anything, she went to the back door and got in.
“You can sit in the front, bro.”
The grin she gave me let me know that Lara had just started her attempts at romance again. Well, that could be really fun. Not only did I have to keep myself from falling over my cousin's dream, but I also had to deal with my sister, who had set her mind on literally marrying me.
“How old are you, Matt?” Lara asked from behind.
"Eighteen. I just finished school and now work on my father's ranch.”
“And, are there any young cowboys on your ranch that I could consider?"
Matt grinned and I felt queasy again. I quickly looked out of the side window to distract myself. Lukas, pull yourself together, after all Matt is part of your family, it doesn't look good if you throw yourself at him.
“We already have a few young cowboys working for us, but as I said, they work and that's what they should continue to do. It's not good if they get too distracted, then their work will only be flawed.“
”No problem, I can give you a hand with the work.”
“I think it's better if you distract them. I wouldn't trust a fence that you repaired,“ was my answer to Lara, which, however, earned me a light blow to the back of the head.
”And that's coming from the king of DIY. You don't even know how to hold a hammer properly.“
”I love you too, sis.”
“I know, brother.“
Next to me, Matt started to laugh.
”You don't have to understand your mood swings, do you? One minute you're fighting and the next everything's fine again, without any actual solution having been found.“
”Maybe I should point out that we never fight, we just discuss things. Actually, we've never fought at all.”
I don't think Matt has yet understood our logic; he just shook his head and grinned.
“By the way, you're both invited to a friend's birthday party tonight.
Maybe you won't need to look for a cowboy then, Lara.”
I looked at Matt blankly. “And why are we invited?”
“Well, probably because I've been pestering Seth for weeks about you moving in with us. I guess he just wants to meet you. Besides, it's the best way for you to meet people our age. When Seth throws a party, he throws it right.“
”Shouldn't we at least get him a small gift?” Lara asked from behind.
“Nah, it's not necessary. Then Seth would only think too much of himself. In my opinion, he already has too much self-confidence anyway.“
”I doubt, though, that Lara and I will grow old today.“
Matt looked at me questioningly.
”We've been up for about 26 hours. I'm already starting to feel tired.”
“Oh, you'll have plenty of time to sleep when you're old. If it's absolutely impossible, then you'll just have to get some sleep this afternoon. Your parents won't be coming to the ranch until the evening anyway. So you still have almost the whole day to relax.“
”We really don't get any rest,” Lara sighed. ”But what wouldn't we do for international understanding.
Do you actually speak German, Matt?“
”My dad tried to teach me a little, but I wouldn't say that I really know how to do it. I wouldn't starve in Germany, that's for sure.”
“That's not a problem with all the McDonalds and Burger Kings around us,” I replied. ”If you want, we can help you learn German a bit. But you can take us with you if you ever fly to Germany. We promise you will have a very comfortable life with us.”
“I can imagine that very vividly. I'll definitely take you up on the offer to learn German. By the way, Lukas, you'll probably have to sleep in my room for the first week. We didn't quite finish renovating your room. But it won't take too much longer.”
I was honestly shocked. I already found it hard enough imagining living in the same house as him, but now I'll also be sleeping in the same room. Images of him walking back and forth in front of me in just his boxers suddenly appeared before my eyes.
Just thinking about it made my little friend stir. I think I'm in for the hardest week of my life.
“Hey, why are you so pale all of a sudden? Is the idea of sleeping in a room with me so bad?“
”It's okay, I'm just extremely tired right now."
Suddenly my cell phone rang in my pocket. Surprised, I took it out.
“You can also crash at my place if it gets too hard for you. You know it's absolutely no problem,” it said on the display. The message was from Lara.
I really love my sister for understanding me so well. But here I had to go it alone. So I shook my head slightly, I knew Lara saw it, and put my phone back in my pocket.
I was extremely quiet for the rest of the drive. Lara and Matt talked about everything under the sun. I just stared out the window and slowly calmed down again. After all, I only had to sleep at his place for a week. And that doesn't mean we have to spend the whole day together. Somehow I would get through it, after all, I had Lara to help me.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of driving along a lonely, deserted road, we came to a stop in front of a huge house.
“Wow,” was the only thing that occurred to me at this sight.
“I didn't remember it being so big,” Lara said behind me.
"We've added on a few things in the last couple of years.”
Before we could say anything, a woman came storming out of the house. She was in her early to mid-40s, with long blonde hair that fell in waves onto her shoulders.
“That's my mom, she got up really early today to get everything ready for you. I don't think you can eat as much as she has cooked.“
”You don't know how much we can eat together,” said Lara as she jumped out of the car.
Matt's mom came running towards us with her arms outstretched, hugging me first and then Lara.
“Hello, welcome to our home. My name is Kaitlyn. I'm so happy to finally meet you. You must be totally exhausted after that long flight. Come with me to the kitchen."
As Kaitlyn was already on her way into the house, Lara and I were still standing in front of the house, frozen.
“I haven't yet realized everything she has told us, but I think it's best if we just go after her.“
”I'll take care of your luggage and then come,” said Matt, while he already opened the trunk.
When Lara and I were on our way to the kitchen, she asked me again:
“Hey, are you sure you're okay with sleeping with him?“
”I'll be fine, it's not for long.“
”Okay, if you think so. But you know you can always come to me, right?“
”What are you giving him, anyway? I'm in favor of an 8 ½.”
Lara and I have been in the habit of rating all male beings around our age for some time now. I know, it's totally lame, but this little game can really liven up a day at the park.
“Are you serious now? After all, he's our cousin.”
"We're not blood relatives, he's just married into the family.”
At that moment we arrived in the kitchen.
“Twelve,” was the only thing I said to Lara.
“Sit down first. I've cooked something so that you can regain your strength after the long journey.”
"Thanks, but don't go to so much trouble. Lara and I will sleep most of the day anyway today to get back to some degree of fitness.”
“Don't even try to avoid eating. According to my mom, you only get fit if you eat enough,” came from the direction of the kitchen door.
Matt came into the room and sat down at the table opposite me.
“And Mom, do I get something to eat too, after all I had to get up almost in the middle of the night to pick them up. I think I need to regain my strength too.“
”Oh, my poor boy, you're not going to fall off the face of the earth on me, are you? But don't gobble so much and leave some for Lara and Lukas.”
After dinner, Matt showed us around the house. Then we went to our rooms, Lara's first.
“I think I'll be happy here,” was her only comment. “I hope you'll be able to manage without me for the time being. I have to get settled here first.”
Matt and I went on.
“I can tell you one thing: once Lara has settled in here, you won't be able to set foot in the room before the other one. She has an almost frightening penchant for chaos.”
“Do I have to conclude from this that you are more of an orderly type? Maybe I should make you wait outside my room for a while then. Unfortunately, I'm not so good at keeping things tidy either.”
“Don't worry, I'm not that fanatical. I just like to see the floor."
At the end of the hallway, Matt showed me the bathroom first. Then he opened the door opposite the bathroom and I just thought to myself: take a deep breath, you can do it.
My suitcase was already in the room, right next to a huge couch.
“I hope you don't mind sleeping on the couch. We can still fold it out later. If you want, we can swap, and you can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch. Whatever you want.”
“I think I'd fall asleep in the hay right now, I'm so tired. It's okay that I'm sleeping on the couch. I can't take your bed away from you."
Matt looked at me. ”Okay. I'll leave you alone for now. You know where the bathroom is. Get some rest, you still have a lot to do tonight.”
I had almost forgotten about this party. Then suddenly something occurred to me.
“Matt, when are our parents coming home?”
"I guess around seven, and we want to go to the party around nine. So you still have plenty of time to say hi to each other. If you want, I can wake you up around half past six so you can get ready.”
“Yes, that would be nice."
After I had showered, I went back to Matt's room wearing only boxer shorts. I was so tired that I literally collapsed on the couch and fell asleep almost immediately after closing my eyes.
Matt was lying next to me, wearing no more than his shorts. Slowly, his hand glided over my chest and to my stomach.
“Well, already rested?” he whispered in my ear.
He was so close that I shivered when I felt his breath.
He gently circled my belly button with his finger. His lips were on my ear and my neck at the same time.
Oh my God, my whole body was tingling.
Matt's hand moved under the waistband of my shorts. Now I couldn't suppress a soft groan.
I felt his hands on my shoulders...
“Hey Lukas, you should get up slowly now.”
Only slowly did I understand his words. Startled, I opened my eyes wide and sat up. I looked straight into Matt's grinning face.
“You should tell me about your dream sometime. It seems to have been pretty hot. I think I might like it too.“ With these words, he let his gaze wander meaningfully between my legs. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. The whole thing was so embarrassing for me.
”I'll wait for you downstairs.”
Matt was still grinning as he left the room. Would I be able to look him in the eye again after my performance? Why does my cousin have to be so cute?
When I slowly got up, there was no sign of my excitement. Just as I was about to go to the bathroom, I ran into Lara, who wanted to come into my room.
“Hey, not so stormy. Say, what did you do with Matt? He grinned like a Cheshire cat when he came to meet me.“
”Let's not talk about it.“
”Oh, so bad?“
”Worse. Much worse."
Lara looked at me with questioning eyes.
“I'll tell you later. I have to go to the bathroom first and get ready for this party. I'll see you downstairs.“
”Well, okay, but don't do anything stupid. I'll come up in half an hour if you're not ready by then."
So I went to the bathroom first. In the shower, I tried to calm down again. How could I stand being in a room with Matt for a whole week if I was already dreaming of him even though he wasn't in the room? I imagined his body wearing only shorts and immediately realized that it was a mistake. As soon as I had even the image in front of my eyes, I felt it starting to stir between my legs again. I really should get out of the habit of doing that. I quickly took a shower, wrapped the towel around my hips and went back to my, no, to Matt's room. As I stood in front of my suitcase looking for clothes, I realized that I had absolutely no idea what to wear. Sometimes I'm even worse than my sister when it comes to things like this.
There was only one solution to the problem. I took my cell phone and sent a desperate “help” to my sister. On the side, I sent a quick prayer to heaven that she had also taken her cell phone downstairs.
After half a minute, I heard footsteps in the hallway and Lara was standing in the middle of the room.
"What kind of problems do you have again, dear brother?”
“What should I wear?“
”And that's why you're driving me crazy with worry?” ”Reach into your suitcase and put on whatever you find. It's a simple birthday party, so what you wear isn't that important.
Are you going to tell me what happened with Matt?
“I dreamt about him,“ I said, while I put on my boxer shorts and my black jeans.
”And that can't be the problem?“
”He woke me up in the middle of the dream.” I pulled my red polo shirt over my head.
Lara was still looking at me questioningly.
“I dreamt that he was about to seduce me and that's exactly what I looked like.”
"Ouch...
But look at it this way, Matt doesn't know that you dreamt of him. When you think about it, it's not that bad that you had a hard-on and he saw it.”
“The problem is that I know I dreamt about him. Besides, he told me to tell him about the dream when the time was right. What do I do when he brings it up? I really don't know how I'm going to look him in the eye now.”
“Now don't make everything worse than it is. I'm still here to support you. You'll manage, you're not that weak.
Ready?“
I ran my hand through my hair again briefly so that it at least looked somewhat organized, and nodded.
”Well, come on.”
With these words, Lara pulled me by the hand out of Matt's room.
As we were about to go to the stairs, Matt came towards us.
"I was just about to get you, your parents just arrived.”
Lara let go of my hand and immediately stormed down the stairs.
Matt looked at me and could hardly suppress a grin.
“So?” he asked, “Have you cooled down a bit?”
I tried desperately to prevent my face from turning red.
“Don't worry, I'm fine,” I said more aggressively than intended.
“Are you sure you're all right? Did I offend you with what I said? If so, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.“
”It's okay. You didn't say or do anything to offend me. I'm always a bit grumpy when I haven't had enough sleep.”
Matt nodded. The way he was looking at me now, he was annoyed with me. This promised to be a wonderful evening.
“Do you think these clothes are okay for the party?” I asked Matt to lighten the mood a bit and looked down at myself.
"Yes, it's fine, you look really good.”
I can't say why, but somehow I immediately felt calmer when I had Matt's approval of my outfit.
“Thanks,” I said, grinning. “I'm going to go down and say hi to my parents. You coming?”
"You go ahead. I want to change quickly for the party. See you in a minute.”
I nodded and continued towards the stairs. Maybe it's better if Matt is offended. Then it may also be easier to deal with his attraction to me. But that doesn't matter now.
When I entered the kitchen, my mother jumped up from her chair and pulled me into her arms.
“I thought you didn't want to greet us at all. You don't know how happy I am to have you both back.“
”I'm happy to see you too, but we were only apart for a week.“
”You just don't understand how a mother feels. You'll understand me when you have children of your own.” With these words, Mom released me from her embrace.
I went to the table and greeted my father.
“Well, big guy, how are you doing?” my father asked, patting me on the shoulder in friendship.
“I'm okay, just a little tired.”
"Are you sure you still want to go to that party tonight? Wouldn't it be better if you got a good night's sleep first?”
I had to grin, only my mom would say something like that.
Before I could answer, Kaitlyn came to the table with plates and cutlery.
“You can start setting the table, dinner will be ready soon.”
Lara got up and helped distribute the food.
"By the way, where's my son, Lukas?”
“He went back to his room to change. He said he'd be right down.“
”Well, it may take a while for him to come back down. I think we can start eating.” With that, Kaitlyn placed a huge pot of chili con carne in the middle of the table and started putting some on everyone's plate.
While we were in the middle of eating, Matt came into the kitchen.
"You're being really accommodating. Would it have been too much to ask if you'd waited for me to eat first?”
“Matt, you knew very well that dinner was almost ready when you went upstairs to get them. Nobody asked you to change clothes.
Now sit down and eat something before everything gets cold.“
”All right, all right. But it's actually Lukas' fault that I had to change again,” with these words he came to the table and sat down with us.
I turned my head in his direction. ”What do I have to do with it all of a sudden?”
Matt grinned at me. “Well, I can't turn up at the party in my sluttiest clothes when you look so extremely good in yours.”
When I realized what he had said, I choked on a kidney bean. Help, I think I'm dying right now. Did Matt really say that I look extremely good? Lukas, take it easy, don't think too much again, good-looking doesn't really mean much, does it?
“After all, I still want to get a nice girl today. It wouldn't be good for my self-confidence if I were to stand alone in the corner while Lukas captivates all female persons,” Matt now spoke up again.
Okay, that's it. Now I'm really dying. Of course I had actually hoped that Matt might be gay after all, even though I didn't want to admit it to myself. But that's settled now. Great, now I'll spend the rest of my life with a cousin I'm secretly in love with, but who's absolutely straight. Wow, I've really always dreamed of something like this. How did I deserve so much luck?
Lara looked at me with her big doe eyes. I smiled sadly at her and shrugged.
Why was I so down, I mean, I've only known Matt for a few hours and I've slept most of the time. Besides, nothing is lost yet. After all, I'm still young and the world is open to me. There are bound to be plenty of cute gay guys here.
But unfortunately Matt is not one of them, it came back from my subconscious.
“Are some of our old friends going to be at the party tonight?” I heard Lara ask.
“Hmm...” Matt replied with his mouth full, “Mary has been asking about you a lot. She told me that you two used to be best friends. Otherwise, I don't know if anyone from your past will be there.”
“Oh my God, Mary. I haven't thought about her in years. But don't tell her that. When I think of all the nonsense we used to get up to. I'm looking forward to tonight more and more.”
“Not me,“ I replied. ‘At least when I think back to how much you and Mary always enjoyed teasing me.’
”Don't worry, brother, as soon as she sees what a cutie you've become, she'll be annoyed with herself for not being nicer to you.“
”I couldn't agree more,” Matt now piped up.
The guy is really driving me to my death. He's always making comments like that, and then he'll talk about some woman he's dying to pick up. Does he even know what he wants? My mood is getting more and more miserable.
Otherwise, dinner was pretty quiet. After everything was cleared away and put in the dishwasher, we sat down on the porch to talk for a while. I felt like I was in one of those kitschy Western novels, but it was actually really pleasant.
In the middle of our conversation, Matt stood up. “Okay, we should probably get going to Seth's party.” Lara and I also stood up, albeit very moderately.
“Why don't you two go to the jeep, I'll just quickly get the keys.”
We quickly said goodbye to our parents (my mom couldn't help but say, “And behave yourselves”) and went to the car.
“Can you please tell me what's going on with Matt?” I whispered to my sister. ”First he tells me and the whole family how good I look, and the next moment he's talking about all the women he wants to pick up. Do I have to understand that?”
“Have you ever thought that the chatter with the girls is just a cover? Maybe he hasn't come out to anyone yet.“
”You're the only one who knows I'm gay, and yet I don't tell Mom and Dad about some girls all the time."
We had now arrived at the jeep.
“Hey bro, don't worry about it too much and enjoy the evening. Maybe you'll find a cute guy at the party, then you won't need to worry about Matt anymore.“
”I'll never find another cutie like Matt. I mean, Matt is really the dream of my sleepless nights.”
“Well, we can go now,“ Matt called to us from the house after saying goodbye to his mother and our parents.
So we all got into the car and Matt drove off.
”How long will it take to get to Seth's?” Lara asked again from behind.
“About a quarter of an hour. If we were to drive cross-country, it would be even less, but I don't want to do that to you today. Your day was already exhausting enough without me introducing you to the gravel roads here.”
I feel sick just thinking about it. Maybe I should mention that I can't do long car rides without pills for motion sickness. But not even those help on some dirt or gravel roads. I just have a very sensitive stomach.
“If it's up to me, I can do without getting to know it,“ I replied to Matt.
”Unfortunately, the most beautiful places here can only be reached via such routes, but if you don't want to drive, then we'll just have to ride there.“
”Oh God, that's even worse. I haven't sat on a horse in ages. I don't even know if I can do it at all anymore.”
“Don't worry, Lukas, you never forget how to do something like that, and if you want, I'll be happy to give you a few lessons again.
That's Seth's house up ahead, the one with all the cars in front of it. It seems like the party's already in full swing."
With a skillful parking maneuver, Matt stopped in front of Seth's house. With a slight feeling of pressure in my stomach, I got out of the jeep. Lara took my hand in hers. As I looked up at her, she smiled encouragingly at me. Maybe I should also mention that I was always the reserved and shy one of the two of us. I guess that's not least because of being gay, I just can't approach people openly. But I'm glad that I have a sister who fully supports me and is always by my side.
After Matt had locked the car, he walked towards the house.
“Well, come on, they won't eat you right away. Although some of them will probably fight to be allowed to eat you.”
Was this going to be my life for the rest of my life? My cousin is my absolute dream boy and always makes such insinuations, but by the way he is totally heterosexual.
Matt went ahead and skillfully held the door open for us. Lara and I went into the house.
What we saw was really a party like the ones in the books. You couldn't exactly determine the number of guests because the masses were not limited to just one room. Wow, throwing a party like this has always been my dream, but unfortunately I had no idea how to pull something like this off.
Matt pushed us from behind to get us moving. We had barely taken two steps when a guy came towards us with a beaming smile.
"Hi, you must be Matt's mysterious relatives. It's great to finally meet you. Matt's been telling me for weeks that you're coming to the States.”
Since I still felt a bit overwhelmed by all the impressions that were coming at me, Lara did the talking for both of us.
"Hello. I'm Lara and this is my twin brother Lukas. And yes, we are Matt's relatives, even though I can't tell you what's so mysterious about us.”
“Well, Matt couldn't really tell us much about you. The only thing we found out was how old you are and when you arrive in the States. The only thing Mary could remember was that she and Lukas always teased him. So you'll understand that you both won't really be able to relax today.”
“I also remember very clearly how I was always teased,” I now piped up, giving my sister a dark look from the side.
“Oh, Lukas, that was ages ago. I hope you're not still holding that against me,“ said two arms that suddenly went around my shoulders from behind. Startled, I turned around and looked into a girl's face.
”Mary?”
“Of course. And I really hope you've forgiven us for the pranks back then, after all, we were all just kids back then,“ she beamed at me with a smile.
”It's no wonder you're throwing yourself at him now, Mary. You go after anything male and handsome,” Matt said.
Mary turned to him and allowed him a glance at her tongue. “You're just being so bitchy because you'd rather throw yourself at him.”
Matt's entire facial expression went haywire and before I could even react, he had already turned around and stormed off. There was an oppressive silence in the room until suddenly there was a thunderstorm. It was Seth shouting at Mary.
“Do you ever think before such shit comes out of your mouth! When I come back, I don't want to see you here anymore and I advise you to give me a wide berth in the near future!”
With these words, he turned around and stormed off in the same direction as Matt. I just stood there and didn't know what to do or say. There was just a huge vacuum in my head. I don't know how long I had been standing there when I felt someone take my hand in theirs. I looked to the side and saw the sad eyes of Lara.
Matt
Great, now it was all over before it even started. I really thought there was a chance that I could become friends with Lukas and Lara, but now...
Well, actually, I was hoping for something more than friendship with Lukas. I mean, even when his parents showed me the photo of the two of them, it hit me like a blow. The guy looked incredibly cute. And he was supposed to be my cousin. I kept hoping that he had just been well-photographed in the photo and didn't actually look too good in real life. Well, and I guess I had raved a little too much about the two of them to Seth, especially about Lukas. When we were sitting together again at some point, he just asked me,
“Tell me, Matt, could it be that you have a crush on Lukas?"
I can still remember exactly how I stared at him. My head was in total chaos. But Seth just took me in his arms and whispered in my ear that everything was fine. I just looked at him blankly.
“You didn't expect me to hit you and yell at you or something?"
I still wasn't able to say anything. I mean, it was just a shock to me that Seth had just said it.
“Hey, I'll always stand by you, whatever it is. You're like a brother to me and I'm not just going to abandon you just because you've got a crush on Lukas.”
“Thanks.“ That was the only thing I could say, then I threw myself back into his arms and started crying like a little kid. After Seth had calmed me down to some extent, he looked at me grinning.
”I'd love to see Mary's face when she finds out she's right about calling you a fag.”
Mary, that was another thing. Since I let her down once, she told everyone who wanted to hear it, and actually everyone who didn't want to hear it, that I'm just a fag, as she always says so nicely. However, there was never any real chance that anyone would believe her. But it hurt every time I heard her say something like that again. That evening, Seth and I sat together for a long time and I was finally able to really open up. It was a huge relief for me that he continued to stand by me. I'm really happy to have him as a friend. Just as I thought that, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around to know it was Seth. He sat down next to me.
“You like a big finish, don't you?“
”Believe me, it wasn't planned at all.“
”You're pretty shaken up. Do you want to talk?“
I shrugged my shoulders.
”You know,” I finally began, ”when I saw him at the airport today, I was really shocked. He looked even better than in that photo. At first I didn't dare to talk to him. I just stood there and stared at him. And when we finally found ourselves on the way to the ranch, I still had something on my mind that I had been chewing on a lot lately. Lukas was supposed to sleep in my room for the first few weeks. I just convinced myself that it wouldn't be so bad. But I wasn't really convinced. My good intentions were also pretty quickly gone when I found him in my room after he had showered. He fell asleep on the couch in nothing but his shorts. You really can't imagine how horny this guy looked. The worst thing was that his... well, his dreams seemed very stimulating for him. Man, my imagination really didn't have much to do with it. It really wasn't missing anymore, and I would have attacked him. And somehow Mary's saying was just too much for me. I don't understand why I didn't just ignore it like I always do.“
”Maybe because what she said was true? You would have liked to have thrown yourself at him.”
I had to grin wryly. “You're probably right.”
I was already afraid of my next question. “And how did Lukas react?”
Seth thought for a moment. “He didn't really react at all. At least not while I was still there. Even though he looked a little confused.”
“Well, great, so how are we supposed to proceed now? I can't face him anymore. Who knows what he thinks of me.“
”Matt, have you ever considered that he might feel the same way as you? I mean, if I may say so as your hetero almost-brother: You look pretty damn good.”
“To be honest, I've thought about it briefly, but I just don't want to get my hopes up too high. It would just hurt too much if I were to be disappointed. I'm just kind of afraid of what's going to happen now.“
”I hope you know you can always come to me.”
I nodded. “Can I crash at your place tonight? I don't think I can sleep in the same room with him tonight. I guess I wouldn't be able to close an eye.”
“Sure. But you know you can't keep running away from it all the time. At some point you have to talk to Lukas.”
"I know, but today I really can't do it anymore.”
“Come on, let's go back. I guess the party broke up after that scene.“
”I'm sorry I ruined your party. Today really doesn't seem to be my day."
Lukas
Lara pulled me away from the general unrest that was just developing. As my brain slowly started to work again, I found myself on the back porch.
“Matt is gay. My dream man is into guys.“
”So, do you have a plan for how you want to proceed now?"
I grinned at Lara crookedly from the side. ‘Seduce him.’
However, that only earned me a push in the ribs.
“Lara, can I ask you a question on the side? How are we going to get home now? I doubt that Matt will show up again anytime soon and the party seems to be over too.“
”That shouldn't be a problem. I'll just pick up some guy, beguile him with my charm and then ask him to drive us home on the side.”
“If I were you, I would start using my charm right away before there are no more guys left to beguile with it. I have another suggestion: we can just call Mom or Dad.“
”That's one option, but what are you going to tell them about why Matt isn't driving us back?”
“You know that they won't pry anything out of us if they realize that we don't want to talk about it. Besides, they would rather us call them than have us driven by some guy you picked up on the side."
Lara shrugged. ‘Yes, you're probably right. I'll call them in a minute.’ With that, she took out her cell phone.
While she was busy with it, I looked at the property behind the house and followed my thoughts. My dreams had come true in a single moment, and yet I couldn't really be happy. I don't know what it was, but I didn't really feel comfortable with the whole thing.
“Dad's already on his way. I guess we should go to the front, it probably won't take that long for him to get here."
We slowly walked together in front of the house.
“Hey kid, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?“
”Oh, I don't really know what to think about the whole thing. It all seems so easy to me now. I mean, Matt is my absolute dream guy and he's gay. Somehow... oh, I don't know either.”
Lara grinned at me. “Man Lukas, you can be really exhausting. Did you ever think that maybe fate is just being good to you? It's not like you don't deserve to have some luck.”
We sat in silence for a while, when I saw Dad's car, I had made a decision.
“I want to tell Mom and Dad. It's best to do it tonight. Will you help me?"
Lara looked at me from the side. ”You know I'll stand by you no matter what you decide to do.”
Dad had meanwhile come to a stop in front of the house. Slowly, Lara and I got up and went to meet him. Without saying a word, we got into the car and Dad drove off immediately.
“I guess you don't want to tell me what happened?” Dad asked after a few minutes.
"Not now. But... I'd like to talk to you and Mom today.”
Dad looked at me with raised eyebrows but didn't say anything. No one said anything for the rest of the drive. I tried to figure out what was going on in my head, but it didn't really work. It had actually been quite easy with Lara, because the whole thing hadn't been planned. I was on the verge of despairing. How did I actually come up with the idea of telling my parents everything? Okay, now take a deep breath. It's not going to be too bad. My parents aren't really stuffy or anything like that, and as far as I can remember, they've never said anything negative about gays. I was getting more and more nervous.
When we finally stopped in front of the farm, my Dad said that we should go inside and tell Mom, and he would take the car to the garage. Lara took my hand as we went into the house. Mom was sitting in the kitchen waiting for us.
"What happened? Why are you back so soon and why didn't Matt drive you?”
“There was a small incident, but I don't really want to say anything more about it.“ Ok, now take a deep breath. ‘Mom, I actually want to tell you and Dad something. Do you have some time for me?’
”Lukas, you know we always have time for you. So, what's up?”
“Can we wait until Dad gets here? I actually wanted to tell you together.“
My mother nodded and I sat down opposite her. Lara did the same. So we sat there in silence, waiting for my dad to finally arrive. He wasn't long in coming. He looked at us three in turn and then sat down next to my mom.
”So?”
“Well, I wanted to tell you something about myself that has actually been on my mind for some time. I guess you should give up on the idea of a daughter-in-law. So, what I really want to tell you: I'm gay."
It felt incredibly good to have finally said it. However, I also felt insecure because I still didn't know how my parents would react.
Matt
I lay in Seth's room and thought about the day. Actually, all of that would have been enough for half a year. Suddenly I started.
“Shit!”
Seth woke up from my scream.
"Hmm... Matt, what's going on?”
“I didn't think about Lara and Lukas at all. I drove them both here. I didn't even think about how they would get back.“
”Matt, it's just after three now. Don't you think they'd be at your place by now? They'll have called for sure, or one of the others will have driven them. So don't worry and get a few more hours' sleep.”
With these words, Seth turned to the side and pulled his blanket over his head. However, I was not at all reassured. That was typical of me again. As soon as I have a little problem, I forget everything around me. Hopefully they both arrived home safely. I don't even want to think about what I might have to listen to from my mother tomorrow. Maybe Seth was right and I should really try to get some more sleep. So I did the same and lay on my side, closed my eyes and tried to create some order in my head to get some more sleep.