07-10-2025, 03:24 PM
"Good morning Alec, have you been diligently doing your homework?", Liz asked, grinning cheekily at me. "Come on, stop messing around and give it here. She's coming soon and I need a few more points," I snapped back.
"Alright, here you go. Don't stress, it's just a few lines, that's all. And she's downstairs having a smoke with Martin. So you have plenty of time."
"Thanks. I'm sorry if I was rude. I'm just a bit stressed," I tried to apologize to her. But Liz was no longer listening and was chatting with others from the class.
Liz and I are in the same field of study and are best friends. We're always there for each other, no matter what happens. And that's despite only knowing each other for a year.
"Okay, let's get started. I would suggest we go over chromosomes again today, as some of you had questions about that. It's an important topic in biology..." our tutor began to explain, but I didn't listen any further. Genetics wasn't exactly my favorite subject. But I had to get through it if I wanted to finish studying biology. "Liz, you still remember that guy from TV that I thought was so cute? I found out his address. Would you like to come with me to visit him sometime? Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll be out on the street or something," I turned to Liz to distract myself from my boredom. "What, you have his address? Where did you get that? I don't know. Do you think that's a good idea? He probably isn't stupid and will notice what's going on right away."
"Oh come on. Other people run into stars by chance on the street," I tried to convince her. "Well, I don't know. I would..." "As I see it, you want to explain this to us, Liz. So come on up. Alec, you can come along too to correct her if something is wrong," we were suddenly interrupted by our "nice" tutor. "Great, just because you always have these crazy ideas," Liz snapped and stood up.
The day went by quickly. After we finished, I ran to the subway to get home fast. My sweet Flo was supposed to be on TV again today. Unfortunately, I had a longer day at university than usual, so I had to hurry.
Flo, whose real name is Florian, has the lead role in a very successful series. And I try to watch it as often as possible. So far, I've hardly missed an episode. My biggest wish is to meet him in person. Unfortunately, my chances don't look very good. He's very successful and rarely has time because he always has appointments. So the chance of running into him in the city, even though we live in the same one, is very slim.
So I'm not in love with him, but he looks damn good. And it wouldn't hurt to get to know him.
As soon as I got home, I immediately turned on the TV. Luckily, I got home a bit earlier than I thought. So I can at least quickly grab something to eat to take upstairs. As soon as I got upstairs, my laptop speakers beeped. My God, who is bothering me now? Everyone knows I'm not available at this time, I think to myself, getting a bit angry and annoyed at my computer. Steffi, who else could it be? She would probably never learn that I'm not on the computer at this time. So I quickly write back that I'm not in the chat right now.
Finally, my favorite series begins. And five minutes after it starts, he's already on screen. I immediately start to gush. I don't even know what it's about anymore because I'm just looking at him. Even though I'm actually in love with a fellow student, I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I see Flo on screen. And that's how it goes every evening...
Two weeks later:
"Hey Tim, I wish you a nice vacation. If you have time and want, we could go for a drink together," I called out to my crush before he reached the door. "Okay, I'll see what I can do. I'll get back to you." And then he was gone.
"Hey Alec, did you notice that he was watching you the whole time?" Liz suddenly asked me. "No, not really. Well, his response wasn't exactly promising, was it? Man, what am I supposed to do, Liz? If only I knew whether he's gay or not. It's driving me crazy."
"Well, Alec, there's only one thing you can do: Ask him yourself," Liz said in a pretty serious tone.
"Are you crazy? He'll know right away what's going on. What if I've just imagined everything? Then I'll be the fool of the nation. Well, let's see what happens next.
But let's talk about something else."
And so Liz told me that she would be going on vacation with her boyfriend for two to three weeks. After all, we now have almost two months of semester break. I was naturally disappointed because I thought I could hang out with her. But there was nothing to be done about it. Personally, I could have gone to visit my parents, but that would have become too stressful in the long run. Both my parents were retired early and eventually got on my nerves with their fussing. So I decided to stay in the city.
The first three weeks were not particularly spectacular. I met up with a few friends from time to time and watched a lot of TV, mainly because of Flo. I didn't meet Tim even once during that time. And at some point, I started to forget him. Instead, I found myself thinking about Flo more and more often. Although I still wasn't in love with him, I couldn't stop thinking about him. One night, while I was chatting again, my phone rang and Liz was on the other end. She told me that she was back in town and wanted to meet up with me. So we arranged to meet the next evening.
We met at our favorite place the following evening. She told me in detail about her vacation and how great it was, but somehow I wasn't fully present. I kept thinking about Flo. And every time someone walked past the window outside who had a similar hairstyle to his, my heart started racing. At some point, she noticed that I was somewhere else. "Hey, what's wrong with you? You've been acting so weird this whole time. Are you even listening to me? Alec, I'm talking to you," she said, giving me a nudge in the side. It was then that I realized she wanted something. "Uh, sorry, I was just somewhere else. I'm sorry." "What's going on??? Did something happen that I don't know about?" And so I began to explain everything to her.
"Well, I somehow haven't thought about Tim much in the last three weeks. We texted each other briefly from time to time, but I wasn't excited at all when he wrote. You know how it used to be when I got a message from him. I was almost going crazy. But now there's nothing. I absolutely don't think about him anymore. Instead, I'm constantly thinking about Flo. I'm not in love with him, don't worry, but I still can't stop thinking about him. And I've decided that I'm going to visit where he lives, whether you come with me or not. I just have to try it."
"Come on, Alec, what do you expect to get out of this? You said yourself that he likes women. And besides, he's always out and about. The chances of running into him are pretty slim. Or do you plan to just ring his doorbell? I think that's a really stupid idea," Liz tried to dissuade me from my plan.
"I don't care how slim the chances are. Whether I'm sitting at home or seeing something of the city doesn't matter. At least this way I'm outside in the fresh air. Now let's change the subject. You know I'm going to do this anyway and you can't stop me," I snapped at her, and we really did change the subject.
The next morning, the weather was beautiful and almost twenty degrees. So it was a perfect day to stop by my sweet Flo. I jumped in the shower, got ready, packed some snacks and a city map, and headed to the subway. Finally, it was time to go. In my thoughts, I was already imagining how the meeting might go. What should I say to him? How would he react? Would he perhaps be annoyed that another fan was showing up at his apartment?
Eventually, I arrived at the right train station to transfer to another subway. From there, it continued right away. I was only thinking about Flo. The thought that I might not meet him didn't even cross my mind. So I happily continued on. When I reached the final station of the train, I had to check the city map to see how to proceed. Unfortunately, there was neither a tram nor a subway or train station near Flo's house. So the only option left was the bus because I didn't want to walk. That would have been over seven kilometers, which was a bit too much.
So I started checking all the bus stops to see if there was a bus that stopped near his house. And as it usually goes, it was the last bus I checked the schedule for. Great, and it had just left three minutes ago. So I had to wait for the next one, which was supposed to come in half an hour. This was starting off well.
After half an hour, my bus finally arrived, and I could finally continue. After about another half hour, the bus finally reached the right stop. I got off and took out my city map to double-check which way I needed to go. Slowly but surely, my heart and pulse were racing, and I could clearly feel my excitement rising.
After a ten-minute walk, I arrived in front of the house where he lived. It looked a bit older, from the 60s. A typical apartment block. Across from the house, there was a bench against a wall, where I sat down. To make it less obvious, I pulled out a book from my bag and pretended to be reading it with interest, even though I was actually just watching the street and the entrance to the building. But then I started to think that it would look pretty silly if he suddenly showed up and I stood up to approach him. But what else was I supposed to do? If I kept walking back and forth on the street, that would be just as noticeable. So I decided to stay seated.
Slowly but surely, it began to get dark. I had been sitting on the bench for almost six hours. I was really getting frustrated. So I packed my things and went back to the bus stop. But just a few meters away, I heard a moan and cries. It sounded like someone was trying to scream for help. I looked around and listened more closely. It was coming from the property behind the wall. I was sure of that. Unfortunately, the wall was too high. I couldn't climb over it. So I looked for a passage. I found one after just a few meters. I peeked around the corner to see what was going on. And what I saw shocked me. Three skinheads were beating and kicking a defenseless boy who was lying on the ground and could barely move from pain. Luckily, my karate class hadn't been too long ago, and I charged at the three of them while throwing my bag somewhere on the ground. The three turned around in shock because I yelled at them to leave the boy alone. After they collected themselves, they positioned themselves to attack me. But luckily, I was faster. I kicked the first one right in the face, sending him flying backward. The second one got a powerful kick in the stomach and also flew backward. Unfortunately, I was too slow to dodge the third one. He landed a punch right on my lower lip. However, he slipped off, so he didn't hit me with all his strength. Still, my lip immediately started to bleed. After I regained my composure, I kicked him between the legs, causing him to scream right away. Then I reached into my pocket to grab my pepper spray, which I always carry with me. One by one, all three got back up and wanted to attack again. Fortunately, there was a lot of pressure in my pepper spray canister, giving it a long range. Since all three were standing next to each other, it was easy to spray the spray into all their faces. They immediately started screaming and began to retreat slowly.
After I made sure that all three had disappeared, I went to the boy who was lying on the ground. I asked him how he was doing and wanted to turn him over when he slapped my hand away and said, "I'm fine. Please leave me alone. Thanks for your help, but I can handle it myself." But I didn't believe him. Although he resisted, I managed to take his hood off, and I was almost struck dumb. "F F Flo???," I stammered. I couldn't believe it. The boy who had been beaten up was Flo. I just couldn't believe it. After I regained my composure, I leaned down to him and immediately pulled out my tissues from my jacket. Then I began to clean his face of the blood. He looked badly beaten. His face was covered in bruises, and his lips were split in several places. After I had cleaned him up as best as I could, I asked him if he could get up. He didn't say anything the whole time. It was clear that he was embarrassed that someone he didn't know but who knew him was helping him. "Yeah, I said I'm fine. I'm not a little kid anymore. You can go now. I'll manage. Like I said, thanks for your help, but you can really go. Oh, and it would be nice if you didn't tell anyone about this," he said quite angrily. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, but at least let me help you," I tried to reason with him again. This was not how I had imagined our meeting.
"No damn it, I'm fine. Just go already," he hissed. I thought it might be better that way. I would rather try again later. I didn't want to mess things up with him before I even got to know him.
But hardly had I walked five meters when I heard him scream loudly, "Aahhhhhhhhhhhhh." That was too much. No matter how much he tried to convince me, I would still help him. So I ran back and asked what was wrong. To my surprise, he even answered my question. "I don't know. My foot hurts so much. I can't put any weight on it. And my shin hurts like hell too." "Okay Flo, I'm going to carry you on my back and take you home. Are your parents home yet?" I asked as I loaded him onto my back. "No, they're both on a cruise for four weeks." "Okay, can you get your key for the door? And can you unlock it while I'm carrying you? Because standing up is probably not a good idea," I asked him. I noticed how gentle his hands were as he wrapped them around my neck. Suddenly, I realized he was pressing his body against my back like a small child afraid. "I can manage," he stammered and then rested his head on my neck.
After three minutes, we were already at the entrance of his building. I turned a little to the side, and he unlocked the door without much effort. "Okay, which floor do we need to go to?" I asked him as I started climbing the first steps. "Fifth," he said without lifting his head. After another ten minutes, we stood in front of the apartment, and he unlocked that door without any major problems either.
After glancing around, I spotted a sofa where I carefully set Flo down. Then, without him resisting, I lifted his leg and freed it from his shoe. I then gently pulled off his sock and felt his foot. "So nothing is broken, but you shouldn't move your foot today and tomorrow. Do you have any ice? You should definitely cool it. That way, it will swell down faster," I said, looking deep into his eyes. That’s when I noticed he had tears in his eyes. He said, "There are ice cubes in the freezer in the kitchen." But that didn't interest me at all. I stood up and crouched down next to him so that our faces were at the same level. Then I took his hand and started stroking the back of it, which he accepted. I looked deeply into his eyes and said, "Hey Flo, it's over. Everything will be okay, alright? They won't hurt you anymore. But if you want to cry, feel free to do so." And at that sentence, I suddenly hugged him. I didn't know what had come over me, but to my surprise, he let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my neck and then began to sob. He kept asking, "Why me?" Unfortunately, I couldn't answer that question myself. I had thought about it too, but I couldn't find an answer.
At some point, after he stopped crying and I had cooled his leg, he fell asleep. I carefully wiped the last traces of blood from his face with a damp cloth and sat down in the armchair opposite him. I watched him for a long while as he lay there looking so peaceful. But eventually, my eyes also grew heavy, and I fell asleep.
With a loud "Damn!" I was roughly jolted awake the next morning. I opened my eyes and saw Flo trying to crawl back onto his sofa on all fours. I couldn't help but laugh. "What are you doing on the floor? Can I help you? You don't have to sleep on the floor," I said with a cheeky grin, but as soon as I said it, I felt bad. But contrary to all expectations, he turned to me and said, "Ohhhh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I just went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I slipped on the blanket. That's why I'm down here." "So you can put weight on your foot again?" I asked him, a bit surprised by his quick recovery. "Yeah, I can, see?" he said and stood up straight. Then he walked a few meters to show me that everything was indeed alright. Well, at least one less problem, I thought. However, his lip still didn't look much better than yesterday. But I figured that would heal with time. I was more worried about his job. After all, he couldn't just go in front of the camera like this, but before I could think further about it, he pulled me out of my thoughts. "By the way, what's your name? I didn't even get a chance to thank my lifesaver yesterday and ask what your name is."
"Um, so I'm Alec. Well, you actually thanked me yesterday over on that property where it happened," I said a bit shyly, as it became clear to me again where and with whom I was. "Oh God, I'm so embarrassed about yesterday. I'm really sorry for being so rude to you. I really didn't mean to. You just wanted to help. So thank you so much, and I'm really sorry," Flo replied, looking down at the ground in shame. "Hey, it's okay. The main thing is that you're feeling better. But I think I should be going now. I should probably take a shower and I could use some fresh clothes too. Can you manage on your own for a while? I'll come by again this evening to check on you, okay?" I replied while looking for my bag. "Thanks, but that's not necessary. You must have better things to do than take care of a sick person, right? Besides, I'm feeling much better already," he said, looking deep into my eyes. "Nope, I don't have anything better to do. I'm just glad I met you at all, even though I could have imagined different circumstances. But whatever. I'm glad to have met you because you are my absolute favorite actor. And it's an honor for me to take care of you."
He looked a bit embarrassed as he glanced around the room. "Okay, so I'll head out for now. But I'll come back this evening. Don't worry, it won't be too late. I have to get home again," I said, heading towards the door when I suddenly remembered that my bag was still on the property where I had found Flo.
"Hey, why don't you pack some clothes and then you can stay here for a few days? Just as a little thank you for you," he said, really surprising me with this suggestion. "Um, uh, okay, then I'll pack a few things. See you later," I stammered and quickly rushed out the door into the stairwell. Did he just offer me to stay with him for a few days? I couldn't believe it. Like in a daze, I went to get my bag and headed home. As soon as I arrived, two of my roommates rushed towards me, asking me a million questions because they saw my swollen lip from afar. It was then that I remembered I had also gotten hit yesterday. I told them some story so I could keep the thing with Flo to myself, since he had already asked me not to tell anyone when I found him.
Then my phone rang, and Liz asked me how it went and if I had met him. Since Liz was my best friend and I could confide in her about everything, I quickly ran to my room and then briefly told her what had happened.
After I had taken a shower and felt mostly human again, I quickly rummaged through my closet and stuffed everything into my travel bag. And off I went to the train. During the ride, I kept thinking about what had happened and that I was actually going to sleep at Flo's.
After about an hour, I finally arrived at Flo's. When I rang the bell, my heart was racing. Suddenly, I was incredibly excited and nervous. The buzzer sounded, and I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. When I reached the top, Flo was already waiting for me, grinning at the door. "Wow, that was quick. I didn't think you'd be back so early. But never mind. Come on in. By the way, do you like sushi? I'm about to order, so if you eat that," he started before I even stepped into the apartment.
"Sure, I love sushi. I can never get enough of it," I replied as I entered the apartment. As soon as he heard that, he ran to the phone and dialed the number. It seemed his foot was really doing great.
The evening went by like this. We ate sushi, shared stories about our lives, and above all, laughed a lot.
This went on for an entire week. Sometimes I still couldn't quite grasp it. I had been living with Flo for a whole week. It was just beautiful. But unfortunately, there was also something negative. I realized that I was slowly but surely falling madly in love with Flo. And eventually, the evening came that made me really aware of it. We were having fun and laughing when he suggested that I could sleep in his room. Until then, I had always slept on the couch in the living room.
And now I was supposed to sleep in his room? "Where? You don't even have room for a mattress there. Should I sleep on the hard floor?" I asked him, a bit perplexed. "No, my bed is huge; there's enough space for both of us," he said, looking at me questioningly.
Did he just suggest that I sleep in the same bed with him? That was too much for me. I couldn't grasp it. I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him. What if I suddenly got excited by him? I wouldn't know how to explain that. I had to prevent that. So I started looking for every excuse I could think of.
"Well, I don't think that's a good idea. I talk in my sleep, and quite loudly. Besides, I sometimes flail around," I tried to explain. "So what? At least I'll learn a bit more about you," he grinned, "and if you start flailing, a pillow will come flying." He was trying to persuade me. But why did he want me to sleep over so badly?? That confused me somehow. But I couldn't start speculating again, like I did with Tim. Above all, I had to come up with something quickly so I wouldn't have to sleep at his place. Suddenly, the thought of telling him the truth settled in my mind. I don't know why, but I couldn't shake it off.
"Hey, what's going on?," Flo suddenly pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Flo, sit down. I need to talk to you," I said abruptly. I don't know where I found the courage, but I decided to confess to him now. Flo looked at me a bit confused but sat down anyway.
Slowly, I began to explain. "Flo, it wasn't a coincidence that I was nearby when it happened. I had your address and really wanted to get to know you. That's why I came here. I sat on the bench across from your house for almost six hours. Then I got fed up and wanted to leave when I heard you. Well, I would have liked to meet you under different circumstances. But never mind. The point is: I wanted to get to know you because... because..." Suddenly I hesitated. "Because?" Flo asked impatiently. "Because I'm gay and thought you were cute," I shouted and ran to the door. Flo just sat there, staring at me in disbelief. Now he knew why I didn't want to sleep in his bed. He spent the whole night wondering why he hadn't noticed that I loved him.
I ran out of the house towards the bus, which I barely caught. On the bus, I immediately called Liz and asked if we could meet at my favorite spot. She immediately sensed that something was wrong and agreed.
Half an hour later, I arrived at the lakeside at our little boathouse. I sat on the dock and started to cry uncontrollably. I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually someone wrapped their arms around me from behind. It was Liz. We sat there for a while until she asked me what had happened. I told her everything in detail. She listened attentively and didn't interrupt me once. When I finished, she asked me why I had just run away. "I don't know. Everything felt so unreal. I told him, and he just looked at me in disbelief. And he didn't react at all when I ran off. What should I do now, Liz? I totally messed it up," I began to sob again. We sat there for several hours, talking and talking.
Three days later, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. It was Liz, who had gone to Flo's to get my clothes. As soon as she was inside, I bombarded her with questions about what he had said and so on. "Well, he hardly said anything. Absolutely nothing about you. He just gave me your things, and that was it. I'm sorry, little one," she said and hugged me.
Unfortunately, she had to leave again soon because she wanted to visit her parents for four days, and her train was leaving soon.
Two days later, while I was in a friend's shop, I saw a newspaper headline that read "Flo, the Gay Hater?" It felt like a slap in the face. At that moment, I didn't know what to do. Caro, the shop owner, must have noticed my expression. "Pretty intense, right? That one of Germany's most respected actors would do something like this," she said and handed me a coffee. "But what was the reason for the statement? Have you read it yet?" I asked, as I didn't dare to read the newspaper myself.
"Well, he was offered a role where he was supposed to play a gay character, and he must have said some pretty nasty things. I didn't read it in detail. But you can check it out if you want."
"No, I'll pass on that. I don't want to put myself through that. I'll just finish my coffee quickly and then get going. I have something to take care of." I hastily drank my coffee and then left to call Liz.
Two days later, as soon as Liz arrived, we sat at my place discussing the article. By now, we also found out that he had accepted the role after all. But by then, I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to hear anything about him, even though he wouldn't leave my mind. I also stopped watching the series he was in.
By now, the winter semester had started again, and the university stress provided me with some distraction. We had several exams and internships to manage, and before I knew it, the semester was over without anything significant happening.
During the holidays, one day Liz came to me and said I should put on something nice as quickly as possible because she had two tickets for a film award ceremony. Since I had nothing planned anyway, I changed and we went out. I didn't know where she got the tickets from, but we had some of the best seats. Right in the middle of the hall, so we could see the stage perfectly, and quite far forward too.
Finally, it began. A very popular talk show host was moderating the show.
There were awards for Best Film, Best Actor, Supporting Roles, and so on. The whole procedure had already lasted almost two hours. Now, finally, the last category was about to be announced. Best Actor. Five people were nominated. And among them was Flo. I simply couldn't believe it. First, there were such derogatory remarks about gay people, and now he was nominated for his role as a gay man. I would have loved to scream out loud. But unfortunately, I couldn't.
I couldn't wait any longer for the result. I hoped so much that he wouldn't win the award.
But unfortunately, all the hoping was in vain. He won the award. And I would have loved to boo him. Liz also noticed that I was furious. Now came his acceptance speech. But I couldn't listen anymore; I was too angry. I would have preferred to storm the stage and slap him. He then said the usual things like thank you to my fans and family and blah blah blah…
"… but I want to thank one person in particular…" I heard him say in between.
"I know I said some pretty awful things about homosexuals when I was offered the role. But then I remembered someone who was very dear to me. That's why I accepted this role. About half a year ago, I met someone who saved my life. I didn't think much of it when he helped me. He treated my injuries and took care of me for days because my parents were on vacation. At some point, I suggested he shouldn't sleep in the living room anymore but with me. And then he told me that he loved me. I was totally shocked. And I didn't have any contact with him afterward. It shocked me so much that I made that statement. And I believe he was even more hurt afterward than before. And I can understand him. After thinking about it for a day, I still accepted the role. But only because I thought I had something to make up for. But after we finished the film, I realized that I missed the person who had saved my life…" Flo said. And slowly but surely, I became a bit more attentive. "Liz, what is he talking about? Is he trying to crawl back or what?" I asked her, but she just said, "Shut up and listen."
So I kept listening because I couldn't interpret her reaction but noticed that I couldn't talk to her anyway.
"… And I felt very lonely without this person, even though I only realized that very late. But it doesn't matter. I want her to meet this person. I fell head over heels in love with this person. I know some will think this is a PR stunt, but I'm completely serious. I fell in love. And I know that this person is here today. Because a friend of mine kindly arranged all of this…"
"Come on, Liz, can't we just leave? I really don't want to see him making out with someone on stage," I complained to Liz, not understanding that he could only mean me. "My God, then just don't look. But now wait and be quiet," she snapped back.
"If it doesn't bother everyone, I would like to invite Alec to the stage," he said, and I first looked at him, then at Liz. "What the hell is this? Does he even know what he's saying? Now he's naming girls after me… This is the worst," I said. "Damn it, Alec, you're the one he's talking about. So get your ass up here," Liz suddenly hissed at me. I couldn't believe it. Was she serious? I looked at her in confusion. I had only half-listened to his speech. "Now get up there. I'm the friend he was talking about."
That was really too much for me. Was she serious? I didn't know what to think or believe anymore. "My God, now get up and go forward," she pulled me out of my thoughts and gave me a shove in the ribs. And it was so forceful that I suddenly jumped up. Everyone immediately looked at me. So I had no choice. And I began to step down one step at a time. When I reached the bottom, I started shaking so much that I almost fell over.
After I had somewhat composed myself, I walked towards Flo, who was already smiling at me from afar. At that moment, I didn't know if he was serious or if he just wanted to humiliate me. But when we met, he simply hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I love you, and I never want to lose you again." I could hardly believe it. I didn't know what to say. After what felt like an eternity, he let me go, went to the microphone, and said, "May I introduce you to: my great love, Alec." He didn't say anything more because then his voice broke, and tears streamed down his face. Then he came to me and said, "Alec, I'm sorry, I love you. And I never want to lose you again." After that, he hugged me, and we began to share a deep and long kiss. And during this kiss, the crowd began not only to clap but to go wild. Everyone was happy for us. That was the happiest day of my life.
"Alright, here you go. Don't stress, it's just a few lines, that's all. And she's downstairs having a smoke with Martin. So you have plenty of time."
"Thanks. I'm sorry if I was rude. I'm just a bit stressed," I tried to apologize to her. But Liz was no longer listening and was chatting with others from the class.
Liz and I are in the same field of study and are best friends. We're always there for each other, no matter what happens. And that's despite only knowing each other for a year.
"Okay, let's get started. I would suggest we go over chromosomes again today, as some of you had questions about that. It's an important topic in biology..." our tutor began to explain, but I didn't listen any further. Genetics wasn't exactly my favorite subject. But I had to get through it if I wanted to finish studying biology. "Liz, you still remember that guy from TV that I thought was so cute? I found out his address. Would you like to come with me to visit him sometime? Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll be out on the street or something," I turned to Liz to distract myself from my boredom. "What, you have his address? Where did you get that? I don't know. Do you think that's a good idea? He probably isn't stupid and will notice what's going on right away."
"Oh come on. Other people run into stars by chance on the street," I tried to convince her. "Well, I don't know. I would..." "As I see it, you want to explain this to us, Liz. So come on up. Alec, you can come along too to correct her if something is wrong," we were suddenly interrupted by our "nice" tutor. "Great, just because you always have these crazy ideas," Liz snapped and stood up.
The day went by quickly. After we finished, I ran to the subway to get home fast. My sweet Flo was supposed to be on TV again today. Unfortunately, I had a longer day at university than usual, so I had to hurry.
Flo, whose real name is Florian, has the lead role in a very successful series. And I try to watch it as often as possible. So far, I've hardly missed an episode. My biggest wish is to meet him in person. Unfortunately, my chances don't look very good. He's very successful and rarely has time because he always has appointments. So the chance of running into him in the city, even though we live in the same one, is very slim.
So I'm not in love with him, but he looks damn good. And it wouldn't hurt to get to know him.
As soon as I got home, I immediately turned on the TV. Luckily, I got home a bit earlier than I thought. So I can at least quickly grab something to eat to take upstairs. As soon as I got upstairs, my laptop speakers beeped. My God, who is bothering me now? Everyone knows I'm not available at this time, I think to myself, getting a bit angry and annoyed at my computer. Steffi, who else could it be? She would probably never learn that I'm not on the computer at this time. So I quickly write back that I'm not in the chat right now.
Finally, my favorite series begins. And five minutes after it starts, he's already on screen. I immediately start to gush. I don't even know what it's about anymore because I'm just looking at him. Even though I'm actually in love with a fellow student, I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I see Flo on screen. And that's how it goes every evening...
Two weeks later:
"Hey Tim, I wish you a nice vacation. If you have time and want, we could go for a drink together," I called out to my crush before he reached the door. "Okay, I'll see what I can do. I'll get back to you." And then he was gone.
"Hey Alec, did you notice that he was watching you the whole time?" Liz suddenly asked me. "No, not really. Well, his response wasn't exactly promising, was it? Man, what am I supposed to do, Liz? If only I knew whether he's gay or not. It's driving me crazy."
"Well, Alec, there's only one thing you can do: Ask him yourself," Liz said in a pretty serious tone.
"Are you crazy? He'll know right away what's going on. What if I've just imagined everything? Then I'll be the fool of the nation. Well, let's see what happens next.
But let's talk about something else."
And so Liz told me that she would be going on vacation with her boyfriend for two to three weeks. After all, we now have almost two months of semester break. I was naturally disappointed because I thought I could hang out with her. But there was nothing to be done about it. Personally, I could have gone to visit my parents, but that would have become too stressful in the long run. Both my parents were retired early and eventually got on my nerves with their fussing. So I decided to stay in the city.
The first three weeks were not particularly spectacular. I met up with a few friends from time to time and watched a lot of TV, mainly because of Flo. I didn't meet Tim even once during that time. And at some point, I started to forget him. Instead, I found myself thinking about Flo more and more often. Although I still wasn't in love with him, I couldn't stop thinking about him. One night, while I was chatting again, my phone rang and Liz was on the other end. She told me that she was back in town and wanted to meet up with me. So we arranged to meet the next evening.
We met at our favorite place the following evening. She told me in detail about her vacation and how great it was, but somehow I wasn't fully present. I kept thinking about Flo. And every time someone walked past the window outside who had a similar hairstyle to his, my heart started racing. At some point, she noticed that I was somewhere else. "Hey, what's wrong with you? You've been acting so weird this whole time. Are you even listening to me? Alec, I'm talking to you," she said, giving me a nudge in the side. It was then that I realized she wanted something. "Uh, sorry, I was just somewhere else. I'm sorry." "What's going on??? Did something happen that I don't know about?" And so I began to explain everything to her.
"Well, I somehow haven't thought about Tim much in the last three weeks. We texted each other briefly from time to time, but I wasn't excited at all when he wrote. You know how it used to be when I got a message from him. I was almost going crazy. But now there's nothing. I absolutely don't think about him anymore. Instead, I'm constantly thinking about Flo. I'm not in love with him, don't worry, but I still can't stop thinking about him. And I've decided that I'm going to visit where he lives, whether you come with me or not. I just have to try it."
"Come on, Alec, what do you expect to get out of this? You said yourself that he likes women. And besides, he's always out and about. The chances of running into him are pretty slim. Or do you plan to just ring his doorbell? I think that's a really stupid idea," Liz tried to dissuade me from my plan.
"I don't care how slim the chances are. Whether I'm sitting at home or seeing something of the city doesn't matter. At least this way I'm outside in the fresh air. Now let's change the subject. You know I'm going to do this anyway and you can't stop me," I snapped at her, and we really did change the subject.
The next morning, the weather was beautiful and almost twenty degrees. So it was a perfect day to stop by my sweet Flo. I jumped in the shower, got ready, packed some snacks and a city map, and headed to the subway. Finally, it was time to go. In my thoughts, I was already imagining how the meeting might go. What should I say to him? How would he react? Would he perhaps be annoyed that another fan was showing up at his apartment?
Eventually, I arrived at the right train station to transfer to another subway. From there, it continued right away. I was only thinking about Flo. The thought that I might not meet him didn't even cross my mind. So I happily continued on. When I reached the final station of the train, I had to check the city map to see how to proceed. Unfortunately, there was neither a tram nor a subway or train station near Flo's house. So the only option left was the bus because I didn't want to walk. That would have been over seven kilometers, which was a bit too much.
So I started checking all the bus stops to see if there was a bus that stopped near his house. And as it usually goes, it was the last bus I checked the schedule for. Great, and it had just left three minutes ago. So I had to wait for the next one, which was supposed to come in half an hour. This was starting off well.
After half an hour, my bus finally arrived, and I could finally continue. After about another half hour, the bus finally reached the right stop. I got off and took out my city map to double-check which way I needed to go. Slowly but surely, my heart and pulse were racing, and I could clearly feel my excitement rising.
After a ten-minute walk, I arrived in front of the house where he lived. It looked a bit older, from the 60s. A typical apartment block. Across from the house, there was a bench against a wall, where I sat down. To make it less obvious, I pulled out a book from my bag and pretended to be reading it with interest, even though I was actually just watching the street and the entrance to the building. But then I started to think that it would look pretty silly if he suddenly showed up and I stood up to approach him. But what else was I supposed to do? If I kept walking back and forth on the street, that would be just as noticeable. So I decided to stay seated.
Slowly but surely, it began to get dark. I had been sitting on the bench for almost six hours. I was really getting frustrated. So I packed my things and went back to the bus stop. But just a few meters away, I heard a moan and cries. It sounded like someone was trying to scream for help. I looked around and listened more closely. It was coming from the property behind the wall. I was sure of that. Unfortunately, the wall was too high. I couldn't climb over it. So I looked for a passage. I found one after just a few meters. I peeked around the corner to see what was going on. And what I saw shocked me. Three skinheads were beating and kicking a defenseless boy who was lying on the ground and could barely move from pain. Luckily, my karate class hadn't been too long ago, and I charged at the three of them while throwing my bag somewhere on the ground. The three turned around in shock because I yelled at them to leave the boy alone. After they collected themselves, they positioned themselves to attack me. But luckily, I was faster. I kicked the first one right in the face, sending him flying backward. The second one got a powerful kick in the stomach and also flew backward. Unfortunately, I was too slow to dodge the third one. He landed a punch right on my lower lip. However, he slipped off, so he didn't hit me with all his strength. Still, my lip immediately started to bleed. After I regained my composure, I kicked him between the legs, causing him to scream right away. Then I reached into my pocket to grab my pepper spray, which I always carry with me. One by one, all three got back up and wanted to attack again. Fortunately, there was a lot of pressure in my pepper spray canister, giving it a long range. Since all three were standing next to each other, it was easy to spray the spray into all their faces. They immediately started screaming and began to retreat slowly.
After I made sure that all three had disappeared, I went to the boy who was lying on the ground. I asked him how he was doing and wanted to turn him over when he slapped my hand away and said, "I'm fine. Please leave me alone. Thanks for your help, but I can handle it myself." But I didn't believe him. Although he resisted, I managed to take his hood off, and I was almost struck dumb. "F F Flo???," I stammered. I couldn't believe it. The boy who had been beaten up was Flo. I just couldn't believe it. After I regained my composure, I leaned down to him and immediately pulled out my tissues from my jacket. Then I began to clean his face of the blood. He looked badly beaten. His face was covered in bruises, and his lips were split in several places. After I had cleaned him up as best as I could, I asked him if he could get up. He didn't say anything the whole time. It was clear that he was embarrassed that someone he didn't know but who knew him was helping him. "Yeah, I said I'm fine. I'm not a little kid anymore. You can go now. I'll manage. Like I said, thanks for your help, but you can really go. Oh, and it would be nice if you didn't tell anyone about this," he said quite angrily. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, but at least let me help you," I tried to reason with him again. This was not how I had imagined our meeting.
"No damn it, I'm fine. Just go already," he hissed. I thought it might be better that way. I would rather try again later. I didn't want to mess things up with him before I even got to know him.
But hardly had I walked five meters when I heard him scream loudly, "Aahhhhhhhhhhhhh." That was too much. No matter how much he tried to convince me, I would still help him. So I ran back and asked what was wrong. To my surprise, he even answered my question. "I don't know. My foot hurts so much. I can't put any weight on it. And my shin hurts like hell too." "Okay Flo, I'm going to carry you on my back and take you home. Are your parents home yet?" I asked as I loaded him onto my back. "No, they're both on a cruise for four weeks." "Okay, can you get your key for the door? And can you unlock it while I'm carrying you? Because standing up is probably not a good idea," I asked him. I noticed how gentle his hands were as he wrapped them around my neck. Suddenly, I realized he was pressing his body against my back like a small child afraid. "I can manage," he stammered and then rested his head on my neck.
After three minutes, we were already at the entrance of his building. I turned a little to the side, and he unlocked the door without much effort. "Okay, which floor do we need to go to?" I asked him as I started climbing the first steps. "Fifth," he said without lifting his head. After another ten minutes, we stood in front of the apartment, and he unlocked that door without any major problems either.
After glancing around, I spotted a sofa where I carefully set Flo down. Then, without him resisting, I lifted his leg and freed it from his shoe. I then gently pulled off his sock and felt his foot. "So nothing is broken, but you shouldn't move your foot today and tomorrow. Do you have any ice? You should definitely cool it. That way, it will swell down faster," I said, looking deep into his eyes. That’s when I noticed he had tears in his eyes. He said, "There are ice cubes in the freezer in the kitchen." But that didn't interest me at all. I stood up and crouched down next to him so that our faces were at the same level. Then I took his hand and started stroking the back of it, which he accepted. I looked deeply into his eyes and said, "Hey Flo, it's over. Everything will be okay, alright? They won't hurt you anymore. But if you want to cry, feel free to do so." And at that sentence, I suddenly hugged him. I didn't know what had come over me, but to my surprise, he let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my neck and then began to sob. He kept asking, "Why me?" Unfortunately, I couldn't answer that question myself. I had thought about it too, but I couldn't find an answer.
At some point, after he stopped crying and I had cooled his leg, he fell asleep. I carefully wiped the last traces of blood from his face with a damp cloth and sat down in the armchair opposite him. I watched him for a long while as he lay there looking so peaceful. But eventually, my eyes also grew heavy, and I fell asleep.
With a loud "Damn!" I was roughly jolted awake the next morning. I opened my eyes and saw Flo trying to crawl back onto his sofa on all fours. I couldn't help but laugh. "What are you doing on the floor? Can I help you? You don't have to sleep on the floor," I said with a cheeky grin, but as soon as I said it, I felt bad. But contrary to all expectations, he turned to me and said, "Ohhhh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I just went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I slipped on the blanket. That's why I'm down here." "So you can put weight on your foot again?" I asked him, a bit surprised by his quick recovery. "Yeah, I can, see?" he said and stood up straight. Then he walked a few meters to show me that everything was indeed alright. Well, at least one less problem, I thought. However, his lip still didn't look much better than yesterday. But I figured that would heal with time. I was more worried about his job. After all, he couldn't just go in front of the camera like this, but before I could think further about it, he pulled me out of my thoughts. "By the way, what's your name? I didn't even get a chance to thank my lifesaver yesterday and ask what your name is."
"Um, so I'm Alec. Well, you actually thanked me yesterday over on that property where it happened," I said a bit shyly, as it became clear to me again where and with whom I was. "Oh God, I'm so embarrassed about yesterday. I'm really sorry for being so rude to you. I really didn't mean to. You just wanted to help. So thank you so much, and I'm really sorry," Flo replied, looking down at the ground in shame. "Hey, it's okay. The main thing is that you're feeling better. But I think I should be going now. I should probably take a shower and I could use some fresh clothes too. Can you manage on your own for a while? I'll come by again this evening to check on you, okay?" I replied while looking for my bag. "Thanks, but that's not necessary. You must have better things to do than take care of a sick person, right? Besides, I'm feeling much better already," he said, looking deep into my eyes. "Nope, I don't have anything better to do. I'm just glad I met you at all, even though I could have imagined different circumstances. But whatever. I'm glad to have met you because you are my absolute favorite actor. And it's an honor for me to take care of you."
He looked a bit embarrassed as he glanced around the room. "Okay, so I'll head out for now. But I'll come back this evening. Don't worry, it won't be too late. I have to get home again," I said, heading towards the door when I suddenly remembered that my bag was still on the property where I had found Flo.
"Hey, why don't you pack some clothes and then you can stay here for a few days? Just as a little thank you for you," he said, really surprising me with this suggestion. "Um, uh, okay, then I'll pack a few things. See you later," I stammered and quickly rushed out the door into the stairwell. Did he just offer me to stay with him for a few days? I couldn't believe it. Like in a daze, I went to get my bag and headed home. As soon as I arrived, two of my roommates rushed towards me, asking me a million questions because they saw my swollen lip from afar. It was then that I remembered I had also gotten hit yesterday. I told them some story so I could keep the thing with Flo to myself, since he had already asked me not to tell anyone when I found him.
Then my phone rang, and Liz asked me how it went and if I had met him. Since Liz was my best friend and I could confide in her about everything, I quickly ran to my room and then briefly told her what had happened.
After I had taken a shower and felt mostly human again, I quickly rummaged through my closet and stuffed everything into my travel bag. And off I went to the train. During the ride, I kept thinking about what had happened and that I was actually going to sleep at Flo's.
After about an hour, I finally arrived at Flo's. When I rang the bell, my heart was racing. Suddenly, I was incredibly excited and nervous. The buzzer sounded, and I ran up the stairs as fast as I could. When I reached the top, Flo was already waiting for me, grinning at the door. "Wow, that was quick. I didn't think you'd be back so early. But never mind. Come on in. By the way, do you like sushi? I'm about to order, so if you eat that," he started before I even stepped into the apartment.
"Sure, I love sushi. I can never get enough of it," I replied as I entered the apartment. As soon as he heard that, he ran to the phone and dialed the number. It seemed his foot was really doing great.
The evening went by like this. We ate sushi, shared stories about our lives, and above all, laughed a lot.
This went on for an entire week. Sometimes I still couldn't quite grasp it. I had been living with Flo for a whole week. It was just beautiful. But unfortunately, there was also something negative. I realized that I was slowly but surely falling madly in love with Flo. And eventually, the evening came that made me really aware of it. We were having fun and laughing when he suggested that I could sleep in his room. Until then, I had always slept on the couch in the living room.
And now I was supposed to sleep in his room? "Where? You don't even have room for a mattress there. Should I sleep on the hard floor?" I asked him, a bit perplexed. "No, my bed is huge; there's enough space for both of us," he said, looking at me questioningly.
Did he just suggest that I sleep in the same bed with him? That was too much for me. I couldn't grasp it. I couldn't sleep in the same bed with him. What if I suddenly got excited by him? I wouldn't know how to explain that. I had to prevent that. So I started looking for every excuse I could think of.
"Well, I don't think that's a good idea. I talk in my sleep, and quite loudly. Besides, I sometimes flail around," I tried to explain. "So what? At least I'll learn a bit more about you," he grinned, "and if you start flailing, a pillow will come flying." He was trying to persuade me. But why did he want me to sleep over so badly?? That confused me somehow. But I couldn't start speculating again, like I did with Tim. Above all, I had to come up with something quickly so I wouldn't have to sleep at his place. Suddenly, the thought of telling him the truth settled in my mind. I don't know why, but I couldn't shake it off.
"Hey, what's going on?," Flo suddenly pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Flo, sit down. I need to talk to you," I said abruptly. I don't know where I found the courage, but I decided to confess to him now. Flo looked at me a bit confused but sat down anyway.
Slowly, I began to explain. "Flo, it wasn't a coincidence that I was nearby when it happened. I had your address and really wanted to get to know you. That's why I came here. I sat on the bench across from your house for almost six hours. Then I got fed up and wanted to leave when I heard you. Well, I would have liked to meet you under different circumstances. But never mind. The point is: I wanted to get to know you because... because..." Suddenly I hesitated. "Because?" Flo asked impatiently. "Because I'm gay and thought you were cute," I shouted and ran to the door. Flo just sat there, staring at me in disbelief. Now he knew why I didn't want to sleep in his bed. He spent the whole night wondering why he hadn't noticed that I loved him.
I ran out of the house towards the bus, which I barely caught. On the bus, I immediately called Liz and asked if we could meet at my favorite spot. She immediately sensed that something was wrong and agreed.
Half an hour later, I arrived at the lakeside at our little boathouse. I sat on the dock and started to cry uncontrollably. I don't know how long I sat there, but eventually someone wrapped their arms around me from behind. It was Liz. We sat there for a while until she asked me what had happened. I told her everything in detail. She listened attentively and didn't interrupt me once. When I finished, she asked me why I had just run away. "I don't know. Everything felt so unreal. I told him, and he just looked at me in disbelief. And he didn't react at all when I ran off. What should I do now, Liz? I totally messed it up," I began to sob again. We sat there for several hours, talking and talking.
Three days later, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. It was Liz, who had gone to Flo's to get my clothes. As soon as she was inside, I bombarded her with questions about what he had said and so on. "Well, he hardly said anything. Absolutely nothing about you. He just gave me your things, and that was it. I'm sorry, little one," she said and hugged me.
Unfortunately, she had to leave again soon because she wanted to visit her parents for four days, and her train was leaving soon.
Two days later, while I was in a friend's shop, I saw a newspaper headline that read "Flo, the Gay Hater?" It felt like a slap in the face. At that moment, I didn't know what to do. Caro, the shop owner, must have noticed my expression. "Pretty intense, right? That one of Germany's most respected actors would do something like this," she said and handed me a coffee. "But what was the reason for the statement? Have you read it yet?" I asked, as I didn't dare to read the newspaper myself.
"Well, he was offered a role where he was supposed to play a gay character, and he must have said some pretty nasty things. I didn't read it in detail. But you can check it out if you want."
"No, I'll pass on that. I don't want to put myself through that. I'll just finish my coffee quickly and then get going. I have something to take care of." I hastily drank my coffee and then left to call Liz.
Two days later, as soon as Liz arrived, we sat at my place discussing the article. By now, we also found out that he had accepted the role after all. But by then, I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to hear anything about him, even though he wouldn't leave my mind. I also stopped watching the series he was in.
By now, the winter semester had started again, and the university stress provided me with some distraction. We had several exams and internships to manage, and before I knew it, the semester was over without anything significant happening.
During the holidays, one day Liz came to me and said I should put on something nice as quickly as possible because she had two tickets for a film award ceremony. Since I had nothing planned anyway, I changed and we went out. I didn't know where she got the tickets from, but we had some of the best seats. Right in the middle of the hall, so we could see the stage perfectly, and quite far forward too.
Finally, it began. A very popular talk show host was moderating the show.
There were awards for Best Film, Best Actor, Supporting Roles, and so on. The whole procedure had already lasted almost two hours. Now, finally, the last category was about to be announced. Best Actor. Five people were nominated. And among them was Flo. I simply couldn't believe it. First, there were such derogatory remarks about gay people, and now he was nominated for his role as a gay man. I would have loved to scream out loud. But unfortunately, I couldn't.
I couldn't wait any longer for the result. I hoped so much that he wouldn't win the award.
But unfortunately, all the hoping was in vain. He won the award. And I would have loved to boo him. Liz also noticed that I was furious. Now came his acceptance speech. But I couldn't listen anymore; I was too angry. I would have preferred to storm the stage and slap him. He then said the usual things like thank you to my fans and family and blah blah blah…
"… but I want to thank one person in particular…" I heard him say in between.
"I know I said some pretty awful things about homosexuals when I was offered the role. But then I remembered someone who was very dear to me. That's why I accepted this role. About half a year ago, I met someone who saved my life. I didn't think much of it when he helped me. He treated my injuries and took care of me for days because my parents were on vacation. At some point, I suggested he shouldn't sleep in the living room anymore but with me. And then he told me that he loved me. I was totally shocked. And I didn't have any contact with him afterward. It shocked me so much that I made that statement. And I believe he was even more hurt afterward than before. And I can understand him. After thinking about it for a day, I still accepted the role. But only because I thought I had something to make up for. But after we finished the film, I realized that I missed the person who had saved my life…" Flo said. And slowly but surely, I became a bit more attentive. "Liz, what is he talking about? Is he trying to crawl back or what?" I asked her, but she just said, "Shut up and listen."
So I kept listening because I couldn't interpret her reaction but noticed that I couldn't talk to her anyway.
"… And I felt very lonely without this person, even though I only realized that very late. But it doesn't matter. I want her to meet this person. I fell head over heels in love with this person. I know some will think this is a PR stunt, but I'm completely serious. I fell in love. And I know that this person is here today. Because a friend of mine kindly arranged all of this…"
"Come on, Liz, can't we just leave? I really don't want to see him making out with someone on stage," I complained to Liz, not understanding that he could only mean me. "My God, then just don't look. But now wait and be quiet," she snapped back.
"If it doesn't bother everyone, I would like to invite Alec to the stage," he said, and I first looked at him, then at Liz. "What the hell is this? Does he even know what he's saying? Now he's naming girls after me… This is the worst," I said. "Damn it, Alec, you're the one he's talking about. So get your ass up here," Liz suddenly hissed at me. I couldn't believe it. Was she serious? I looked at her in confusion. I had only half-listened to his speech. "Now get up there. I'm the friend he was talking about."
That was really too much for me. Was she serious? I didn't know what to think or believe anymore. "My God, now get up and go forward," she pulled me out of my thoughts and gave me a shove in the ribs. And it was so forceful that I suddenly jumped up. Everyone immediately looked at me. So I had no choice. And I began to step down one step at a time. When I reached the bottom, I started shaking so much that I almost fell over.
After I had somewhat composed myself, I walked towards Flo, who was already smiling at me from afar. At that moment, I didn't know if he was serious or if he just wanted to humiliate me. But when we met, he simply hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I love you, and I never want to lose you again." I could hardly believe it. I didn't know what to say. After what felt like an eternity, he let me go, went to the microphone, and said, "May I introduce you to: my great love, Alec." He didn't say anything more because then his voice broke, and tears streamed down his face. Then he came to me and said, "Alec, I'm sorry, I love you. And I never want to lose you again." After that, he hugged me, and we began to share a deep and long kiss. And during this kiss, the crowd began not only to clap but to go wild. Everyone was happy for us. That was the happiest day of my life.