07-10-2025, 03:25 PM
Chapter I
The New Student
"We're getting a new student today! Do you know anything more specific?" Lucas asked his friends. Ben, who was standing next to him in the schoolyard, replied slightly annoyed, "Oh, no idea. Hopefully, it's not another idiot. We don't need anyone else like Kai." He grinned maliciously.
"Come on, Ben! Why are you in such a bad mood today?" That was Katrin. She, like Ben and Lucas, was in the 10th grade.
"None of your business!" came Ben's snappy reply. He ran a hand through his short brown hair. "I'm going inside. You don't have to come with me; I want some peace!"
With a wave of his hand, he made his way into the school building.
Once he had disappeared inside, Katrin fell onto a bench and remarked to Lucas, "He's really in a good mood today; this could get interesting!"
"Just leave him be! He's having a rough day," Lucas grinned, and even a smile crossed Katrin's usually serious face.
Ben froze when he saw the blonde boy waiting in front of their classroom door. His hair was cut short and styled up. His body was well-built, as far as Ben could judge under the clothes.
'His face is like that of an angel,' shot through Ben's mind.
"Oh shit, what am I thinking??? He's a boy. I hope the class is already open. I need to get out of here!" he said quietly to himself. Ben's heart was racing, which only made him more anxious. Without looking at the "new guy" again, the brown-haired boy quickly walked to his classroom door and turned the handle.
"Damn!" Ben kicked the locked door. Then he leaned against the wall. The "new guy" joined him.
"Hi. I'm new here; my name is..."
Ben interrupted him. He looked into his blue eyes. There it was again, that tingling sensation. Once he had somewhat composed himself, he said in a calm but irritated tone, "I really don't care that you're new here, and I don't give a damn what your name is. So just leave me alone!"
The blonde boy stepped back in shock. Ben glanced at him briefly.
"I... I'm sorry. I'm just not... not in a good mood today. I'm a damn morning person," Ben stammered, looking down.
The hallway grew louder. School was starting, and students were pouring in. Lucas and Katrin rushed over to the "new guy" and bombarded him with questions. Ben had withdrawn a bit and was thinking. What was wrong with him?? He kept asking himself that. He smiled slightly as he looked at the blonde boy. Was he smiling back, or had Katrin and Lucas just told him something funny?? Ben didn't have time to think about it anymore, as their teacher was already unlocking the door.
Once everyone was seated, the "new guy" entered, followed by the teacher, who closed the door.
Now the "new guy" stood in front of the entire class, but they didn't even notice him; they were chatting among themselves.
"I ask for silence; I would like to introduce a new student!" the teacher said calmly but firmly. Successfully, as silence fell over the class. "So Kevin, please introduce yourself briefly."
Kevin, the "new guy," searched the class's gaze and found it in Ben's. He looked at him and began to speak.
"My name is Kevin. I currently live a bit outside the city in a house that belongs to my parents. My parents are currently living abroad. I recently moved here and am looking forward to going to this school."
With that, Kevin finished his sentence. "Nice, nice," said the teacher. He pointed to the empty seat next to Ben. "Please sit next to Ben. Behave yourselves, or I will have to separate you!"
Ben stared absentmindedly out the window as Kevin settled down next to him.
"Um, Ben?" Kevin whispered.
A soft "Hmmm?" was the response.
"Could you lend me a pen? I left mine at home."
Ben handed him his pencil case.
"Pick one." He smiled cautiously. Kevin smiled back.
The first four classes went normally. During the break, Kevin and Ben walked together across the schoolyard. "Hey Kev, sorry again about this morning. For being such a jerk."
Ben lowered his head. Kevin placed his hand on the brown-haired boy's shoulder and smiled.
"It's okay; it can happen to anyone." Kevin leaned against a wall.
"I'll invite you to the movies today as an apology, provided you have time and want to." As he said this, he stepped very close to Kevin. The blonde boy flushed. He felt Ben's hot breath. His legs seemed to give way.
"Hey Ben. Hey Kevin," Katrin called from a distance.
Ben quickly stepped away from Kevin, and he too turned red in the face. Ben was confused. He had actually tried to kiss Kevin.
'Thank God Katrin arrived just in time,' Ben thought, but he wasn't entirely happy about it.
Kevin quickly said with a smile, "You can invite me, but I'll pay for the popcorn."
Just as Ben agreed, Katrin stood in front of them and hissed at Ben, "Can't you be more careful, you klutz? You can't even walk properly. You stumble over your own feet."
Ben looked at her questioningly, and Kevin looked puzzled as well, so she continued:
"You almost kissed Kevin just because you tripped."
I saw Kevin, who smiled awkwardly. Then he turned to Katrin and replied with a grin, "Just because you'll never be that close to his sweet kissable lips, you don't need to be so jealous."
He disappeared towards the boys' bathroom, leaving a very flushed Kevin and a rather confused Katrin behind.
Upon arriving at the boys' bathroom, Ben leaned against the wall. What had he just said? Would Kevin ever look at him again? He actually didn't care what Katrin thought, but Kevin, what was he thinking now?
"Oh damn!" Ben shouted, hitting the wall hard with his fist.
"You'll hurt yourself!" a voice suddenly said behind him. The brown-haired boy turned around, and in front of him stood...
"Kevin!" Ben exclaimed in surprise. Kevin smiled slightly and took his hand.
"You should see a doctor for that; it doesn't look good."
Ben looked at his hand. Kevin was right. His hand had swollen to twice its size in no time. Ben grimaced a little.
"So Ben, before we go to the movies later, we should probably go to the doctor quickly."
The brown-haired boy looked at Kevin in astonishment.
Kevin actually wanted to go to the movies with him. A smile crept across his face.
Kevin stepped behind Ben and gently pushed him by the shoulders towards the exit.
"Come on, we're going to be late." The two made their way to class.
They had math for the last two periods. Katrin didn't pay any attention to Ben; she still seemed angry about Ben's remark on the schoolyard.
However, Ben was quite indifferent to that. He was busy thinking about Kevin. How he stood so close to him. About his breath that touched his skin, and when Kevin took his hand in the boys' bathroom to examine it, it was all over for him. He had actually fallen in love with a boy, and for the first time that day, he didn't feel ashamed of it.
After class, Ben and Kevin headed to the doctor. The swelling had already gone down, yet the doctor wrapped a thick bandage around Ben's hand. Outside the door, Ben grumbled to himself, which made Kevin laugh.
"It's your own fault for hitting a wall!" the blonde boy giggled.
"Come on, let's go to the movies now!" Ben replied, and the two made their way. They chose a funny movie.
While Ben got the tickets, Kevin grabbed a large bag of popcorn. Together, they went to their seats. Since the commercials were once again endlessly long, they talked a bit about their hobbies.
Ben just started talking. "So as you can see, I like going to the movies," he grinned. "And I really enjoy reading. Mostly love stories and fantasy novels. That's pretty much it."
Kevin smiled, then chuckled: "You read love stories? I wouldn't have thought that. To be honest, I didn't expect you to read at all, except now in school!"
Ben looked confused. "What... I mean, how do you come up with something like that?"
Kevin looked quite embarrassed. "Well, Ben! You always look so super cool on the outside, and unfortunately, it's often the case that those in quotation marks," Kevin made a brief gesture with his fingers, "cool people don't read much because it's not that cool, and you'd look pretty dumb if you did. That's why I thought that. I don't know you very well, but one thing I know for sure is that you're not as you look."
Ben started to get a bit defensive: "How am I supposed to understand that? Am I an actor?"
"No, no, that's not what I meant, Ben. I just mean, you act tough, but in reality, you're quite nice and just gentle," Kevin tried to justify himself.
Ben laughed: "I know what you mean. I just wanted to tease you a bit." The brown-haired boy grinned cheekily, and Kevin smiled too. He was the one who returned to the previous topic.
"Well, I like the things you mentioned too, and I really enjoy going for walks. I find it really nice and romantic." He winked at Ben, "I'm a hopeless romantic. I also used to enjoy swimming, but I think I've put on some weight." Kevin noticed out of the corner of his eye that Ben was carefully scrutinizing him, and a slight blush crept onto his cheeks.
Ben looked into his blue eyes. 'Wow, he has such deep, beautiful eyes,' Ben thought, then added, "No, you're perfect. You're neither fat nor thin. Just stay like that." He smiled sweetly and leaned in closer to Kevin's face.
Only a few centimeters separated their heads. They felt each other's warm breath. Their heads moved a little closer. Suddenly, the lights went out, and both jumped back. They stared fixedly at the screen. Kevin's heart was pounding wildly. He reached for the popcorn. Ben had the same idea. When he lightly bumped into Kevin's hand, a jolt ran through his body, and he quickly pulled his hand back.
Ben couldn't focus on the rest of the movie. His thoughts revolved around Kevin, and it seemed to be the same for him. The brown-haired boy glanced at Kevin and smiled tenderly. He was also rewarded with a very loving smile. Throughout the movie, they exchanged tender glances.
After the movie, the two left the cinema, and Ben took Kevin home. Ben gladly accepted Kevin's invitation for a drink.
Ben was overwhelmed by the house. "And all of this belongs to you?" he asked. Kevin's face reflected a moment of sadness. But as quickly as that expression came, it disappeared again, and he replied with a smile:
"Yes, my parents gave this to me for my 18th birthday. Should I show you around?" Ben practically beamed as he agreed. The house was quite large. It had two bathrooms, a big living room with a fireplace, and a guest room. Not to mention the huge kitchen.
"Um, Kevin? What was behind the closed door?" Ben asked curiously.
With a cheeky grin, the blonde replied, "That's my room. You'll see it later!" Kevin only just realized what he had said and turned red with embarrassment.
Ben coughed, but it sounded more like suppressed laughter. He quickly changed the subject.
"Well, your parents must really love you. Where are they, by the way?"
"They've been living abroad since I was 17. I lived with my aunt until my 18th birthday and then moved here. Do they love me? No idea, and to be honest, I don't really care," Kevin replied coldly. "Then I came to your school. Well, you know the rest, and I wouldn't have thought..." Kevin paused, and his eyes became moist.
Ben stepped closer and put his arm around him.
"Hey, it's okay to cry," Ben smiled gently. Kevin cried bitterly now. Gently enveloped in Ben's arms, he felt a sense of security.
He continued to speak through his tears.
"As I said, I came to your school, and suddenly I had these strange feelings when I saw you. I felt safe and familiar. I felt comfortable. All just from your appearance. And now? Ben, I've fallen in love with you, but... that... I mean, I'm a boy! You're a boy. That doesn't exist, right? No, that shouldn't exist. But then today in the cinema, that really unsettled me. I mean, we tried to kiss..."
Kevin couldn't continue, as Ben had placed his finger on Kevin's mouth as a sign for him to be quiet for a moment. Carefully, Ben lifted Kevin's chin a bit and gave him a soft kiss. Then he pulled away.
Kevin reacted almost mechanically and wrapped his arms around Ben's neck. Ben's arms encircled Kevin's waist, and the two lost themselves in an endless kiss. Tenderly, Ben's tongue found its way into Kevin's mouth, where a passionate dance of their tongues began.
When the two were about to suffocate, they pulled away from each other to catch their breath.
Both looked quite confused.
'Wow, what a kiss,' Ben thought.
Kevin, on the other hand, felt a bit ashamed and turned red.
A tear ran down Kevin's cheek, and Ben wanted to wipe it away, but Kevin recoiled.
Ben tried to say something, but Kevin spoke before him. In a calm and firm voice, he said:
"You should better leave now, Ben!" Ben was a little startled by the coldness in Kevin's voice.
"Kevin, I....," he didn't continue, as Kevin made no move to listen. The brown-haired boy had no choice but to leave.
With a heavy heart, he made his way to the door. He turned around once more, hoping Kevin would look at him or follow him. But nothing of the sort happened.
Quietly, Ben closed the door behind him and sadly began his way home.
Kevin leaned against the wall and slid down it. He cried bitter tears. His heart hurt terribly. He didn't even know why he had just let Ben go after telling him to disappear. What must Ben think of him now? He remembered the coldness and absence in his voice. Could he ever look him in the eyes again? After everything he had done? No, probably not. But what about his feelings for Ben?
'Hmm, I should probably forget all this. What I did today cannot be made right. I'm such an asshole,' Kevin thought.
Dragging himself into his room and to his bed, he fell asleep in tears.
At the same time, Ben wandered aimlessly through the city. Thousands of thoughts swirled in his head. He simply couldn't explain what was going on. Yes, he thought Kevin was confused, but that he would react like this.
'I really need to talk to him at school tomorrow. Maybe it will clear up then!' Ben pondered.
He looked around. He had actually walked in circles. One last time, he looked up at the house. Everything was dark.
He thought for a moment but then headed home. Perhaps he had only hoped to see the sweet blonde boy he had fallen in love with one more time.
The night was a horror for Kevin. He had nightmares, each worse than the last. Ben appeared in his dreams, but the rest of the class was also present. They all stood around him, laughing at him. Calling him a faggot. Ben said nothing, but he didn't defend him either. He turned away. The circle of the crowd grew tighter, closing around Kevin. He took blow after blow. His limbs were already aching. Fists pounded on him as they called him a faggot, gay rat, or bottom.
Kevin woke up drenched in sweat. The fright still ran deep in his bones. After he regained some feeling in his trembling legs, he quickly washed his face. He leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. He looked terrible. Shaky, scared, and soaked in sweat. He went back to the bedroom and glanced at the clock. He had set the alarm for 6 o'clock, but with a quick click, he turned it off.
Kevin was not in the mood for school. Especially not to make a fool of himself.
A few hours later, Ben was already in the schoolyard, earlier than he usually was. He could hardly wait to talk to Kevin. He already saw Katrin and Jens. But still no sign of Kevin. But the first period was getting closer.
Katrin was the first to notice that something was wrong with Ben.
He flinched when Katrin spoke to him: "Hey Ben? What's wrong with you?" she asked worriedly. But Ben gave no answer. "Ben, I know I've been mean to you lately, but somehow I've been worried. Please don't ask why. I just had a feeling. We've been friends for so long."
Jens had now also joined them.
"So what I meant was, we've been friends for so long. You notice when something is wrong. What happened yesterday?" Katrin's voice trembled slightly.
"Well, I was at the movies with Kevin after school yesterday," Ben began. "Well, we had a lot of fun. Kevin showed me his house. His parents live abroad, and he lives all alone in that house. It's really taking a toll on him, which is easy to understand. Then I comforted him, and somehow my feelings overwhelmed me, and I thought, just kiss him already. Which I did." Ben explained.
"And then Kevin got angry, or how should I understand that?" Katrin asked thoughtfully.
Jens looked at Ben with disgust. He simply said, "I'm staying out of this!" and disappeared.
Ben looked briefly after him, and Katrin paused for a moment.
Then Ben continued: "No, that's not it, Katrin. If that had been the case. He went along with it. At first slowly, but then he kissed me too. And then all of a sudden. We pulled away from each other. And then he said I should better go. And he cried. I wanted to talk to him today, but he's not coming." Ben looked sad.
Katrin took him in her arms. "He will definitely come tomorrow," Katrin whispered in his ear.
He agreed.
But Kevin didn't come, nor did he the following day. To make matters worse, Jens stopped talking to Ben since he found out that he had kissed Kevin. Here and there, he received a contemptuous glance, but nothing more. But Ben didn't have the strength to face that, so he ignored him for now.
During the break, Katrin approached Ben. "Ben, Kevin has been missing for three days now. Why don't you go see him after school?" Katrin said cautiously.
Ben thought for a moment. Then he turned to her. A tear rolled down his cheek.
With a smile, Katrin remarked, "You're really in love, aren't you? I'm happy for you. Hmm, I can only guess what Kevin is going through. I think he's scared. Scared of what others might think if it comes out. If you're gay in today's world, and it was even worse back then, it's not easy. And I think that's what he's afraid of. You can never hold hands openly without risking a lot of trouble. We live in such a time, and not everyone will approve. Go to Kevin and talk to him. I think everything will work out."
Ben hugged Katrin tightly. She had encouraged him. And he thanked her with all his heart.
After school, Ben went straight to Kevin's house.
The New Student
"We're getting a new student today! Do you know anything more specific?" Lucas asked his friends. Ben, who was standing next to him in the schoolyard, replied slightly annoyed, "Oh, no idea. Hopefully, it's not another idiot. We don't need anyone else like Kai." He grinned maliciously.
"Come on, Ben! Why are you in such a bad mood today?" That was Katrin. She, like Ben and Lucas, was in the 10th grade.
"None of your business!" came Ben's snappy reply. He ran a hand through his short brown hair. "I'm going inside. You don't have to come with me; I want some peace!"
With a wave of his hand, he made his way into the school building.
Once he had disappeared inside, Katrin fell onto a bench and remarked to Lucas, "He's really in a good mood today; this could get interesting!"
"Just leave him be! He's having a rough day," Lucas grinned, and even a smile crossed Katrin's usually serious face.
Ben froze when he saw the blonde boy waiting in front of their classroom door. His hair was cut short and styled up. His body was well-built, as far as Ben could judge under the clothes.
'His face is like that of an angel,' shot through Ben's mind.
"Oh shit, what am I thinking??? He's a boy. I hope the class is already open. I need to get out of here!" he said quietly to himself. Ben's heart was racing, which only made him more anxious. Without looking at the "new guy" again, the brown-haired boy quickly walked to his classroom door and turned the handle.
"Damn!" Ben kicked the locked door. Then he leaned against the wall. The "new guy" joined him.
"Hi. I'm new here; my name is..."
Ben interrupted him. He looked into his blue eyes. There it was again, that tingling sensation. Once he had somewhat composed himself, he said in a calm but irritated tone, "I really don't care that you're new here, and I don't give a damn what your name is. So just leave me alone!"
The blonde boy stepped back in shock. Ben glanced at him briefly.
"I... I'm sorry. I'm just not... not in a good mood today. I'm a damn morning person," Ben stammered, looking down.
The hallway grew louder. School was starting, and students were pouring in. Lucas and Katrin rushed over to the "new guy" and bombarded him with questions. Ben had withdrawn a bit and was thinking. What was wrong with him?? He kept asking himself that. He smiled slightly as he looked at the blonde boy. Was he smiling back, or had Katrin and Lucas just told him something funny?? Ben didn't have time to think about it anymore, as their teacher was already unlocking the door.
Once everyone was seated, the "new guy" entered, followed by the teacher, who closed the door.
Now the "new guy" stood in front of the entire class, but they didn't even notice him; they were chatting among themselves.
"I ask for silence; I would like to introduce a new student!" the teacher said calmly but firmly. Successfully, as silence fell over the class. "So Kevin, please introduce yourself briefly."
Kevin, the "new guy," searched the class's gaze and found it in Ben's. He looked at him and began to speak.
"My name is Kevin. I currently live a bit outside the city in a house that belongs to my parents. My parents are currently living abroad. I recently moved here and am looking forward to going to this school."
With that, Kevin finished his sentence. "Nice, nice," said the teacher. He pointed to the empty seat next to Ben. "Please sit next to Ben. Behave yourselves, or I will have to separate you!"
Ben stared absentmindedly out the window as Kevin settled down next to him.
"Um, Ben?" Kevin whispered.
A soft "Hmmm?" was the response.
"Could you lend me a pen? I left mine at home."
Ben handed him his pencil case.
"Pick one." He smiled cautiously. Kevin smiled back.
The first four classes went normally. During the break, Kevin and Ben walked together across the schoolyard. "Hey Kev, sorry again about this morning. For being such a jerk."
Ben lowered his head. Kevin placed his hand on the brown-haired boy's shoulder and smiled.
"It's okay; it can happen to anyone." Kevin leaned against a wall.
"I'll invite you to the movies today as an apology, provided you have time and want to." As he said this, he stepped very close to Kevin. The blonde boy flushed. He felt Ben's hot breath. His legs seemed to give way.
"Hey Ben. Hey Kevin," Katrin called from a distance.
Ben quickly stepped away from Kevin, and he too turned red in the face. Ben was confused. He had actually tried to kiss Kevin.
'Thank God Katrin arrived just in time,' Ben thought, but he wasn't entirely happy about it.
Kevin quickly said with a smile, "You can invite me, but I'll pay for the popcorn."
Just as Ben agreed, Katrin stood in front of them and hissed at Ben, "Can't you be more careful, you klutz? You can't even walk properly. You stumble over your own feet."
Ben looked at her questioningly, and Kevin looked puzzled as well, so she continued:
"You almost kissed Kevin just because you tripped."
I saw Kevin, who smiled awkwardly. Then he turned to Katrin and replied with a grin, "Just because you'll never be that close to his sweet kissable lips, you don't need to be so jealous."
He disappeared towards the boys' bathroom, leaving a very flushed Kevin and a rather confused Katrin behind.
Upon arriving at the boys' bathroom, Ben leaned against the wall. What had he just said? Would Kevin ever look at him again? He actually didn't care what Katrin thought, but Kevin, what was he thinking now?
"Oh damn!" Ben shouted, hitting the wall hard with his fist.
"You'll hurt yourself!" a voice suddenly said behind him. The brown-haired boy turned around, and in front of him stood...
"Kevin!" Ben exclaimed in surprise. Kevin smiled slightly and took his hand.
"You should see a doctor for that; it doesn't look good."
Ben looked at his hand. Kevin was right. His hand had swollen to twice its size in no time. Ben grimaced a little.
"So Ben, before we go to the movies later, we should probably go to the doctor quickly."
The brown-haired boy looked at Kevin in astonishment.
Kevin actually wanted to go to the movies with him. A smile crept across his face.
Kevin stepped behind Ben and gently pushed him by the shoulders towards the exit.
"Come on, we're going to be late." The two made their way to class.
They had math for the last two periods. Katrin didn't pay any attention to Ben; she still seemed angry about Ben's remark on the schoolyard.
However, Ben was quite indifferent to that. He was busy thinking about Kevin. How he stood so close to him. About his breath that touched his skin, and when Kevin took his hand in the boys' bathroom to examine it, it was all over for him. He had actually fallen in love with a boy, and for the first time that day, he didn't feel ashamed of it.
After class, Ben and Kevin headed to the doctor. The swelling had already gone down, yet the doctor wrapped a thick bandage around Ben's hand. Outside the door, Ben grumbled to himself, which made Kevin laugh.
"It's your own fault for hitting a wall!" the blonde boy giggled.
"Come on, let's go to the movies now!" Ben replied, and the two made their way. They chose a funny movie.
While Ben got the tickets, Kevin grabbed a large bag of popcorn. Together, they went to their seats. Since the commercials were once again endlessly long, they talked a bit about their hobbies.
Ben just started talking. "So as you can see, I like going to the movies," he grinned. "And I really enjoy reading. Mostly love stories and fantasy novels. That's pretty much it."
Kevin smiled, then chuckled: "You read love stories? I wouldn't have thought that. To be honest, I didn't expect you to read at all, except now in school!"
Ben looked confused. "What... I mean, how do you come up with something like that?"
Kevin looked quite embarrassed. "Well, Ben! You always look so super cool on the outside, and unfortunately, it's often the case that those in quotation marks," Kevin made a brief gesture with his fingers, "cool people don't read much because it's not that cool, and you'd look pretty dumb if you did. That's why I thought that. I don't know you very well, but one thing I know for sure is that you're not as you look."
Ben started to get a bit defensive: "How am I supposed to understand that? Am I an actor?"
"No, no, that's not what I meant, Ben. I just mean, you act tough, but in reality, you're quite nice and just gentle," Kevin tried to justify himself.
Ben laughed: "I know what you mean. I just wanted to tease you a bit." The brown-haired boy grinned cheekily, and Kevin smiled too. He was the one who returned to the previous topic.
"Well, I like the things you mentioned too, and I really enjoy going for walks. I find it really nice and romantic." He winked at Ben, "I'm a hopeless romantic. I also used to enjoy swimming, but I think I've put on some weight." Kevin noticed out of the corner of his eye that Ben was carefully scrutinizing him, and a slight blush crept onto his cheeks.
Ben looked into his blue eyes. 'Wow, he has such deep, beautiful eyes,' Ben thought, then added, "No, you're perfect. You're neither fat nor thin. Just stay like that." He smiled sweetly and leaned in closer to Kevin's face.
Only a few centimeters separated their heads. They felt each other's warm breath. Their heads moved a little closer. Suddenly, the lights went out, and both jumped back. They stared fixedly at the screen. Kevin's heart was pounding wildly. He reached for the popcorn. Ben had the same idea. When he lightly bumped into Kevin's hand, a jolt ran through his body, and he quickly pulled his hand back.
Ben couldn't focus on the rest of the movie. His thoughts revolved around Kevin, and it seemed to be the same for him. The brown-haired boy glanced at Kevin and smiled tenderly. He was also rewarded with a very loving smile. Throughout the movie, they exchanged tender glances.
After the movie, the two left the cinema, and Ben took Kevin home. Ben gladly accepted Kevin's invitation for a drink.
Ben was overwhelmed by the house. "And all of this belongs to you?" he asked. Kevin's face reflected a moment of sadness. But as quickly as that expression came, it disappeared again, and he replied with a smile:
"Yes, my parents gave this to me for my 18th birthday. Should I show you around?" Ben practically beamed as he agreed. The house was quite large. It had two bathrooms, a big living room with a fireplace, and a guest room. Not to mention the huge kitchen.
"Um, Kevin? What was behind the closed door?" Ben asked curiously.
With a cheeky grin, the blonde replied, "That's my room. You'll see it later!" Kevin only just realized what he had said and turned red with embarrassment.
Ben coughed, but it sounded more like suppressed laughter. He quickly changed the subject.
"Well, your parents must really love you. Where are they, by the way?"
"They've been living abroad since I was 17. I lived with my aunt until my 18th birthday and then moved here. Do they love me? No idea, and to be honest, I don't really care," Kevin replied coldly. "Then I came to your school. Well, you know the rest, and I wouldn't have thought..." Kevin paused, and his eyes became moist.
Ben stepped closer and put his arm around him.
"Hey, it's okay to cry," Ben smiled gently. Kevin cried bitterly now. Gently enveloped in Ben's arms, he felt a sense of security.
He continued to speak through his tears.
"As I said, I came to your school, and suddenly I had these strange feelings when I saw you. I felt safe and familiar. I felt comfortable. All just from your appearance. And now? Ben, I've fallen in love with you, but... that... I mean, I'm a boy! You're a boy. That doesn't exist, right? No, that shouldn't exist. But then today in the cinema, that really unsettled me. I mean, we tried to kiss..."
Kevin couldn't continue, as Ben had placed his finger on Kevin's mouth as a sign for him to be quiet for a moment. Carefully, Ben lifted Kevin's chin a bit and gave him a soft kiss. Then he pulled away.
Kevin reacted almost mechanically and wrapped his arms around Ben's neck. Ben's arms encircled Kevin's waist, and the two lost themselves in an endless kiss. Tenderly, Ben's tongue found its way into Kevin's mouth, where a passionate dance of their tongues began.
When the two were about to suffocate, they pulled away from each other to catch their breath.
Both looked quite confused.
'Wow, what a kiss,' Ben thought.
Kevin, on the other hand, felt a bit ashamed and turned red.
A tear ran down Kevin's cheek, and Ben wanted to wipe it away, but Kevin recoiled.
Ben tried to say something, but Kevin spoke before him. In a calm and firm voice, he said:
"You should better leave now, Ben!" Ben was a little startled by the coldness in Kevin's voice.
"Kevin, I....," he didn't continue, as Kevin made no move to listen. The brown-haired boy had no choice but to leave.
With a heavy heart, he made his way to the door. He turned around once more, hoping Kevin would look at him or follow him. But nothing of the sort happened.
Quietly, Ben closed the door behind him and sadly began his way home.
Kevin leaned against the wall and slid down it. He cried bitter tears. His heart hurt terribly. He didn't even know why he had just let Ben go after telling him to disappear. What must Ben think of him now? He remembered the coldness and absence in his voice. Could he ever look him in the eyes again? After everything he had done? No, probably not. But what about his feelings for Ben?
'Hmm, I should probably forget all this. What I did today cannot be made right. I'm such an asshole,' Kevin thought.
Dragging himself into his room and to his bed, he fell asleep in tears.
At the same time, Ben wandered aimlessly through the city. Thousands of thoughts swirled in his head. He simply couldn't explain what was going on. Yes, he thought Kevin was confused, but that he would react like this.
'I really need to talk to him at school tomorrow. Maybe it will clear up then!' Ben pondered.
He looked around. He had actually walked in circles. One last time, he looked up at the house. Everything was dark.
He thought for a moment but then headed home. Perhaps he had only hoped to see the sweet blonde boy he had fallen in love with one more time.
The night was a horror for Kevin. He had nightmares, each worse than the last. Ben appeared in his dreams, but the rest of the class was also present. They all stood around him, laughing at him. Calling him a faggot. Ben said nothing, but he didn't defend him either. He turned away. The circle of the crowd grew tighter, closing around Kevin. He took blow after blow. His limbs were already aching. Fists pounded on him as they called him a faggot, gay rat, or bottom.
Kevin woke up drenched in sweat. The fright still ran deep in his bones. After he regained some feeling in his trembling legs, he quickly washed his face. He leaned against the sink and looked in the mirror. He looked terrible. Shaky, scared, and soaked in sweat. He went back to the bedroom and glanced at the clock. He had set the alarm for 6 o'clock, but with a quick click, he turned it off.
Kevin was not in the mood for school. Especially not to make a fool of himself.
A few hours later, Ben was already in the schoolyard, earlier than he usually was. He could hardly wait to talk to Kevin. He already saw Katrin and Jens. But still no sign of Kevin. But the first period was getting closer.
Katrin was the first to notice that something was wrong with Ben.
He flinched when Katrin spoke to him: "Hey Ben? What's wrong with you?" she asked worriedly. But Ben gave no answer. "Ben, I know I've been mean to you lately, but somehow I've been worried. Please don't ask why. I just had a feeling. We've been friends for so long."
Jens had now also joined them.
"So what I meant was, we've been friends for so long. You notice when something is wrong. What happened yesterday?" Katrin's voice trembled slightly.
"Well, I was at the movies with Kevin after school yesterday," Ben began. "Well, we had a lot of fun. Kevin showed me his house. His parents live abroad, and he lives all alone in that house. It's really taking a toll on him, which is easy to understand. Then I comforted him, and somehow my feelings overwhelmed me, and I thought, just kiss him already. Which I did." Ben explained.
"And then Kevin got angry, or how should I understand that?" Katrin asked thoughtfully.
Jens looked at Ben with disgust. He simply said, "I'm staying out of this!" and disappeared.
Ben looked briefly after him, and Katrin paused for a moment.
Then Ben continued: "No, that's not it, Katrin. If that had been the case. He went along with it. At first slowly, but then he kissed me too. And then all of a sudden. We pulled away from each other. And then he said I should better go. And he cried. I wanted to talk to him today, but he's not coming." Ben looked sad.
Katrin took him in her arms. "He will definitely come tomorrow," Katrin whispered in his ear.
He agreed.
But Kevin didn't come, nor did he the following day. To make matters worse, Jens stopped talking to Ben since he found out that he had kissed Kevin. Here and there, he received a contemptuous glance, but nothing more. But Ben didn't have the strength to face that, so he ignored him for now.
During the break, Katrin approached Ben. "Ben, Kevin has been missing for three days now. Why don't you go see him after school?" Katrin said cautiously.
Ben thought for a moment. Then he turned to her. A tear rolled down his cheek.
With a smile, Katrin remarked, "You're really in love, aren't you? I'm happy for you. Hmm, I can only guess what Kevin is going through. I think he's scared. Scared of what others might think if it comes out. If you're gay in today's world, and it was even worse back then, it's not easy. And I think that's what he's afraid of. You can never hold hands openly without risking a lot of trouble. We live in such a time, and not everyone will approve. Go to Kevin and talk to him. I think everything will work out."
Ben hugged Katrin tightly. She had encouraged him. And he thanked her with all his heart.
After school, Ben went straight to Kevin's house.