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With a flourish, Bjarne stamped a neighbor's request. “So, Mrs. Mahler, that's it for now. The new dog tag is done; you can pay for it at the front desk with Mrs. Tschunik.”
Mrs. Mahler nodded seriously and rose. She had to spend a while buttoning up her coat, straightening the scarf around her shoulders and collecting her numerous bags. She bridged the time by telling Bjarne and his colleague Theo the news from the community, including her own assessment.
In the end, there was no news at all. The families in the new development at the front had settled in surprisingly well. “Some had already put up their Christmas lights before Totensonntag.” “That's the way they are.”
Somehow Bjarne could understand that. It was cloudy outside. A period of frost had stopped construction on quite a few houses. The streets hadn't even been started. There were no gardens and instead of snow, rain and mud instead of sparkling ice. So they had to help themselves with lights.
His neighbor's voice briefly became background noise while Bjarne adjusted his sweater and touched his chin piercing with his fingers. He wondered, wrapped up in the torrent of words, whether he shouldn't get one after all. He thought it would suit him. Somehow it would make his face look less round and boring.
On the other hand, his dentist had been really anti and had given him a whole lecture about inflammation and so on. Quite a turn-off. After all, the humorless ass was also to blame for Bjarne reconsidering the tongue piercing.
Next, Bjarne tried to fix his hair, with little success. The new gel was not worth five cents. He had been taken in by the advertising again. Bjarne glared at his colleague Theo. He had such nice blonde hair and blue eyes and a kind, sweet face that he didn't need to worry about his hairdo.
Bjarne, on the other hand, with his tousled hair in a brown non-color, spent a fortune on styling products. Of course, some of the money was also spent from time to time on his ideas in the sense of new color creations. Theo's taste in hairstyles was clearly more conservative than Bjarne's. But you couldn't help but notice Theo. With his pretty face, he just stood out. Bjarne didn't. The only thing that was useful were his eyes. Big and light brown, in a loyal doggy way, but they were, according to Theo, an eye-catcher when he emphasized them with a little kohl for a night out.
Bjarne nodded to the Mahlerschen's remarks without having listened. Christmas time was approaching with the first advent this weekend. Maybe he should get some fir-green highlights again like last year? In the background, the Mahlers and Theo were discussing the price of firewood. A ready-chopped bundle could cost as much as ninety euros. Was the Körber from the timber trade drinking too much this year?
Bjarne nodded in agreement. On both counts. Old Körber had been drinking too much for years, everyone knew that. The firewood prices were indeed outrageous. He was glad that he had been able to cadge wood for his stove from his parents. His father and older brother had even brought it to him. Mahlersche felt confirmed by his repeated nodding and asked something about the farm of Bjarne's parents in between.
He was actually always happy when he didn't have to talk about the farm he came from, but he willingly provided information that the organic cattle business was going very well. His brother was satisfied. The biogas plant also seemed to be a hit. “Next summer, Claasen wants to upgrade the barn with solar panels.”
“Oh, yes, these modern things are not for me. Give my regards to Claasen and his wife when you visit them, Bjarne, my boy.” He was dismissed the next moment, the Mahlersche pushed down on Theo and asked the very bad about his mother.
Bjarne looked out the window over to the primary school yard. Two older boys in thick jackets walked by outside, chatting. Nothing unusual. The high school students were on their vocational internships. Quite a few of them hung around at the school, because they only had to participate for half a day. The two stopped in front of the window and even looked in briefly at Bjarne, who was well lit and sitting as if on a platter.
Hastily, he turned back to the Mahlers. She had arrived at the prices for St. Martin's geese. Bjarne dared a quick glance back at the boys. They seemed to come from the grammar school on the other side. Although they were wrapped up warmly, their faces were not recognizable between caps and scarves, but the size was right, they looked fit. I wonder if one of them... he thought, and immediately berated himself for being an idiot. No one could really be that alone anymore, that every guy was now being considered. What a load of crap!
Annoyed, Bjarne turned his attention to Mahler, who was now at least wrapped in a cloth, hat and coat, and was still mumbling. Fortunately for him, he had paid attention, and she managed to squeeze a question into her torrent of words. The Christmas market would be set up around the church on the second weekend of Advent this year. Would Bjarne be helping out at the fire station stand again?
He nodded dully. He had already been arrested and assigned by the new pastor and the volunteer fire brigade. “This year we are collecting for the children's cancer ward in the city.”
The Mahler family thought Bjarne was very commendable. How well educated he was. It was a shame what kind of illnesses there were. Speaking of illnesses, the rescue helicopter had landed again on Farmer Franzen's meadow. Did Bjarne and Theo know why? And there was another accident on the freeway ramp. Who could it have been? Someone had once again scraped the paint off the crash barrier. “But why do these young people have to speed all the time?”
Theo answered a text message with his typical humor. “The accident victim is fast approaching eighty, so I don't think it's that young.”
“Oh. Come on, Theo. Was that the old farmer? Someone has to take her driver's license away! She can hardly see anything anymore! Where did I leave my bag? Well, I really have to go now, my dears.”
Theo nodded and grinned, and Bjarne waved after Mahler. He sighed with relief. “Man, she talks fast, the police should check whether she's breaking the law!”
Theo laughed softly. “Speaking of which, you're the one who's in trouble again. I've just made my date for the weekend!” He raised his cell phone.
Bjarne rested his chin on his hands and gave Theo a disgruntled look. “Another fuck-up?” Theo had already passed the magical sound barrier of thirty a few years ago. Somehow that didn't stop him from squeezing his unsportsmanlike, albeit slender, body into tight jeans to go cruising in town. However, Theo was endowed with beautiful blue eyes, a totally sweet face and a cute irreverent sense of humor. Besides, Theo was brave and approached the men he found interesting openly and directly.
He and Theo had met like that, too. In his local bar in the next town. In the Frog Prince, Theo had once hit on Bjarne, who was still at school at the time, in this sweet, casual way. They got to talking, liked each other, and before he knew it, Bjarne had an apprenticeship at the district office. Theo had become his future self, so to speak, that very night. But not an Onenighter, as Theo had briefly considered, but a friend and colleague. Thoughtfully, Bjarne looked at his face in the reflection of the black computer screen.
Although he himself, at twenty, was still in the green zone by a long way, that creep Theo repeatedly beat him hands down when it came to the weekend. Bjarne didn't hold it against Theo. The guy was just out for sex and, to be honest, he didn't really care who gave it to him. The main thing for Theo was that whoever did it to him was history by the next morning. And one without an epilogue or a sequel.
Bjarne himself wanted sex, no question, but at the same time he wanted more and that was the catch. He wanted a sequel and an epilogue and excitement and romance and just more. He wanted a real friend and not just a fuck. He stared into the brown dog eyes. They looked trustingly up at him from under the bangs that had become too long. 'I wish for... for Christmas I want nothing more than to finally have a friend. It would be great if I could find a sweet friend by Christmas. I promise I'll give it my all. I'll do anything. Really! Oh, and dear Santa, no offense, but I mean Christmas this year!' Bjarne looked at the computer screen with satisfaction.
To his surprise, his wish came true just four seconds later. In the next moment, after a short knock, his wish simply walked through the door and looked at him discontentedly under a colorfully curled cap. He was a young guy with slender legs and a torso hidden under a mega-thick jacket. His face looked interesting. Unusually pretty. High cheekbones, narrow, very dark eyes and a soft mouth. A little exotic without being too blatant. The guy seemed to be coming from one of those pre-Christmas collection drives. He was lanky and a little taller than Bjarne, who hastily rose to get to Theo at the counter first.
With laborious gestures, he freed himself from his wet gloves and then actually placed a collection box on the counter. He looked at Bjarne once, then stared stubbornly at his list. He didn't say anything in particular.
“What are you collecting for? For the animal shelter?” Bjarne looked at his face, waiting.
A brief nod, a short annoyed glance. Conversation was not his strong point, that much was clear. Bjarne received a leaflet. Yes. The animal shelter.
“Okay, I'll do that.” Bjarne took out his wallet while Theo hid his grin behind the coffee cup, which had an advertisement for the local video store on it.
Bjarne handed over his money and signed the list. All the while, his brain was trying to come up with some kind of pick-up line. Inoffensive and not too stupid. He didn't succeed. The guy didn't look at him again either, but studied the posters on the walls. He was wearing jeans and hiking boots, both of expensive brands. So maybe a sonny boy from the new development?
Bjarne took a breath. “Have you only just moved to Schlehenkamp?”
The other boy raised his eyebrows, so that they disappeared under his cap. Nice, delicate eyebrows, matching the somehow delicate face, matching the soft voice. “Yes.” The boy shut his mouth again and played the oyster. Completely closed.
Bjarne waited. He looked at the other boy, who stared at the list with his cheeks gradually turning redder and redder, while Bjarne very, very slowly and neatly wrote down his address. The oyster remained silent.
Somehow disappointed, Bjarne signed hastily to at least spare the stubborn guy from heatstroke. “Good luck with the collecting. Have you tried the checkout at the front by the chunik? She has a dog from the shelter, maybe you should ask her.”
The boy nodded and disappeared with a rustling jacket and long strides. The door closed and Bjarne threw himself onto his orthopaedic office chair. “Oh, shit! Just when I think I've found someone cute, he's totally antisocial and won't open his mouth. Damn!”
Theo sipped his coffee. “He was staring at you when you went to get your wallet. I say: hang in there. Could be something. At Christmas, even a faithful romantic like you has a chance.”
Bjarne looked at him suspiciously, but Theo just nodded in the direction of the door and said nothing into his mug.
“All right then. I think I urgently need to go to old Tschunik's. Our coffers are much too full, don't you think?” Hastily, Bjarne stormed over to the checkout with her cash box, which was located two rooms away in the office building.
And there he neither trusted his eyes nor his ears. There was the cute guy. He had opened his jacket and taken off his cap, revealing smooth dark hair. He smiled and talked to the cash register, nodded in agreement with her story and was totally open and no longer the little oyster he had been a moment ago.
Bjarne stared, was caught by the Tschunik and had to hastily hand over his fig leaf in the form of the cassette. While he was still rummaging through the Tschunik's filing cabinet for her secret supplies of chocolate, he heard the soft voice behind him saying that he, Florian, and his brother had moved into the development two months ago. Yes, yes, that's right, the yellow Swedish house. Yes, many people had said that, they had been lucky with the corner lot. No, but his father was a hunter and that's why he wanted to move to the countryside. Yes, exactly, his mother was the new doctor at the general practice of Dr. Braun. Exactly, that's right, Braun was their uncle. No, he didn't want to be a doctor himself, but he was still at school, like his little brother Niklas. They had just moved here, but the class was nice. No, unfortunately, thanks to a lap of honor, he didn't go to the eleventh grade with his brother until later. But yes, of course he had a driver's license; he had been eighteen since April.
Bjarne munched on chocolate and stared at the total dream guy less and less hidden. Sweet face, slim body that looked suspiciously like it was in shape, and the jeans were tight and showed that there was something in them. Absolutely not. Damn it. How could he get close to the guy?
Cute Florian somehow ignored him, even treated him condescendingly, as if Bjarne had done him a favor. He collected his can and the list, said a friendly goodbye to the Tschunik, after he had been sufficiently interrogated, and hadn't given Bjarne a single further glance. What a bummer.
And now? No question. Bjarne knew what he had to do. It was Friday, Frog Prince Day. He would go there with Theo, get slightly drunk and see how he got home. There he would give the damned Santa one more chance to send him his friend. If necessary, he would have to stay out with the prince, dream of his prince and take the first bus back home at five in the morning if Theo escaped him.
So Bjarne announced when he entered room four 'dog license, kindergarten registrations': “I'll go with you to the Frog Prince tonight, Theo. I want to see your fucker and I'm frustrated.” The Sahnehaube to my drab existence, the Tschunik told everything about himself. He almost gave up his cock length, but me... he didn't even look at me!"
At that moment, he saw the Oyster outside in the parking lot with another money collector. The other one was dressed in thick clothes, wearing a cap and gloves, and they both stared at the window for a moment. It was the two guys from earlier. Only now did Bjarne notice. They might even be talking about him. No, they looked over, put their heads together again. It had to be about him. Confused, he blinked back.
Theo hummed, agreeing that Bjarne should come with him to the frog prince and even promising to pick him up. “It wouldn't be funny if we couldn't find someone for a sweet guy like you, Bjarne.”
Bjarne himself had never thought of himself as cute. He thought he was too small, too inconspicuous, even with a wild hairstyle, and he thought he was too boring, but he gave up protesting to Theo. Fortunately, the afternoon was over soon and Bjarne quickly rode his bike to the supermarket to buy the necessary groceries for his old landlady to get her through the weekend.
But the whole time, he saw the little smile of that dream guy in front of him. In the glow of the electric lights from the Christmas decorations at the Tschunik, this Florian also had a wonderful skin, whether it looked so silky and smooth and perfect all over his body? Thoughtfully, Bjarne turned the Christmas offers in the drugstore between his fingers. He had never needed an expensive cream before. Should he start to look after his face anyway?
But then a syrupy saleswoman asked him if he wanted to give the cream as a gift and pointed out that there was a combo pack with the matching soap on offer. Bjarne decided that he obviously looked nice enough without any care and preferred to invest in a few Billyboys with flavor. Optimism was called for, after all. If they threatened to expire, like the last pack, he would just give them to Theo again.
Shopping in the run-up to Christmas was annoying. According to the supermarket calendar, it started at the end of August with the sorting of the speculoos from the previous season. And now, on the last Saturday before the first Advent, the Christmas stars with glitter, the chocolate Santas and the gingerbread appeared on the shelves like mushrooms in the forest. Nuts were suddenly on sale and you had to be careful with the toilet paper not to get the one with the reindeer and Christmas scent.
2 frog princes to kiss
Bjarne took his landlady's shopping to the kitchen and let himself be talked to. He had to promise her that he would saw off one of the fir branches because it was scratching the roof so annoyingly when the wind got a little fresher. She then told him what was new about her rheumatism and sent him off to a relaxing weekend. She had no idea about typical old folks, that a relaxing weekend was definitely not a good weekend.
He climbed up to his attic apartment and greeted the cat he had got from the animal shelter after moving in. His miserably big heart was to blame for both the attic apartment in the small settlement house and the cat.
The old lady had asked the office what could be done to help someone who helped her in the house and garden and looked after her a little. Bjarne had simply felt too much pity for the old lady, who was already somewhat disabled, and who had tears in her eyes when Theo had gently suggested that she sell the house and move to a ground-floor apartment without a garden.
He desperately wanted to move out of his parents' home after starting his apprenticeship at the office, yearning for his own four walls without his mother, who would come in in her clodhoppers when he was doing private things, or his sister, who would drag him into her stupid ideas. Taking the bus didn't really do much for his well-being either.
Last summer, he had therefore given up his vacation and renovated the apartment under the roof of the small house in sweat-inducing self-work and under creative cursing. There were two rooms and a bathroom. He furnished them sparingly and with inherited leftover furniture, in keeping with his financial reserves. His father, his older brother and his brother-in-law had helped him. The landlady had covered the material costs, so it didn't cost him very much.
The old lady also invested a little and had a small kitchenette installed in the living room. The shower room from the Gründerzeit period was hardly worn out and was perfectly adequate for Bjarne. He had a well-lit mirror for his styling attacks at the weekend, otherwise the old-fashioned vanilla-colored ceramic didn't bother him much. The shower was hot, that's all he needed.
He and Bjarne's cat had been living here more or less contentedly since the summer. In summer it was too hot and stuffy. In winter it was quite cold, but luckily for him he had the little tiled stove. But it was quiet, and the rent was microscopic because of all the work being done on the house and garden, which the little old lady always charged him for. He could also leave Theo's porn lying around because his landlady, with her rheumatism, couldn't make it upstairs.
Besides, he was alone, which was divine after a childhood in which he had shared his room with two sisters and was the youngest of four. However, after two months, being alone got on his nerves. According to Theo, he was too nice to just hook up with men for sex and too uptight to set anyone up for a long-term relationship, too sweet to be hit on by losers, but not sweet enough to be pursued by any dream guys. So Bjarne got himself a white, very pretty cat from the animal shelter and allowed himself to be oppressed by her from then on.
The white cat was probably once called Lara or Lucky or something like that. He called her Nut because she was so deaf. Her beautiful blue eyes didn't help her character weaknesses, so she ended up in the shelter.
Bjarne gently scratched her after she had spotted him. Being deaf, she was easily frightened and would scratch very quickly out of fear. At first, she had also constantly lurked hidden under his cupboard out of fear. However, the peace and security in the spacious attic apartment had done her good, and she had already become a lot milder and more confident. In summer, she even came out into the garden, but in winter, Nut preferred to look out of the window, majestically as well as contemptuously, into the gray world.
Bjarne took care of the toilet and fed it with the expensive stuff for the weekends. Then he devoted himself to the clothes for the evening. A tricky business. The frog prince was always super full on Fridays and therefore also very warm. Outside, however, snowflakes were currently mixing with the rain, and Bjarne didn't fancy shivering around with blue fingers and feet.
In the end, he put on his beige and black plaid wool trousers and layered up. Tight black T-shirt, baggy long-sleeved shirt that went very well with the trousers, and on top of that a quilted vest that wasn't too long to cover his butt and, when Theo honked downstairs in front of the house, his thick winter jacket.
Bjarne quickly glanced in the mirror, threw a cap on his head and headed downstairs. The cat looked after him, blinking in disbelief, as if wondering how a person could be so stupid as to leave the house twice in one day in such weather.
Theo was in a good mood. Of course. The ass had his sex date clear. So they spent the car ride with Theo's 'Best of Christmas' in the two-channel sound. Once as it should be from the speakers of the old Renault and on the other hand diagonally from Theo, mostly also with a time lag.
Theo parked the car in the one-way street where their destination was also located and pushed Bjarne happily humming into the pub. The heat was oppressive and mulled wine was on offer. The spicy air billowed into Bjarne's head and immediately made him stupid. Luckily, he was able to peel off and deposit his jacket and vest on a windowsill before he was soaked through with sweat.
At the back, near the tables, large golden baubles cast a pleasant and very agreeable light. An oversized frog sat on a decorative fountain in the middle of the room. It was said that because of the nice light in here, just about any frog could look like a prince in the Frog Prince. There was really something to that. The next morning, such frog princes just had to survive it. That evening, the fat frog held a Christmas tree with kitsch decorations.
Before Bjarne pushed his way into the crowd at the bar, he gave Santa Claus a little speech. In his mind, so as not to be declared crazy. 'Santa, the first attempt was great, honestly. But I want a friend, not a buddy. Please again, this time not a straight guy. Okay? I'll really do anything, I promise. Thank you.' Satisfied, he turned around and scanned the already crowded room with narrow eyes.
He waved to a few acquaintances, but faltered in his movement to their usual corner table. His personal prince was there. Santa had done something. He wanted to make it clear to Bjarne once again that he now had to keep his promise. Bjarne had promised to try everything for a friend. And, oops, there was the sweet oyster again.
It was a dream! The boy from the morning was playing pool with two chicks. He showed his totally cute butt because it was his turn. He obviously couldn't play pool at all, and that was good. So it took him a long time, and Bjarne could stare at his backside.
He nudged Theo in the ribs with his elbow. “There's my oyster! Cool, he's never been here before! I'll go for it, see you later. In any case, text me before you go home, okay?!” Theo punched his way over to the table with his friends and waved as he left.
Bjarne got himself a mulled wine and took up his observation post directly between the fat frog and the kitschy Christmas tree. At least he was now one step further. He and Florian obviously both came to this bar. This was the usual haunt of gays and lesbians, or friends of both. So, what was the oyster? Bjarne tried to read the expression on his prince's face. Was he perhaps not here by choice? Did he look annoyed or not?
Bjarne himself soon had a very annoyed expression on his face. Did the first advent have to be the starting signal for playing only crappy music? And just as he glared in the direction of the box next to him, Florian turned to him because he wanted to go to the bar and get new drinks. Florian caught sight of him, hesitated, looked away immediately and then only at the floor in front of him for the rest of the way to the bar.
Bjarne stared at him as much as he could and kept thinking, 'Look up, look up, damn it!' It wasn't meant to be. The damn oyster managed to order, wait for and pay for two cokes and a mulled wine without looking up again. Damn!
Bjarne took a few gulps of mulled wine to build up his courage, then followed Florian towards the pool tables. And finally, his luck changed. The two girls, who, unlike Florian, were excellent at pool, noticed him immediately and lured him into their orbit with suitably friendly glances.
Bjarne took a deep breath, then joined the group as they were discussing whether or not to play another round. “Hello, Florian. Did you manage to collect a lot of money?”
Florian looked up for a tenth of a second and into Bjarne's eyes, then immediately looked down again. But the girls pounced on Bjarne like vultures. Obviously, they were extremely thrilled that a man had approached their Flo. Somehow, it seemed to have been the point of the exercise. He was so reserved and shy. After all, it seemed to have been Florian's idea to go to the frog prince. You knew what that might mean. Wouldn't Bjarne find that cute and horny too?
Bjarne found it annoyingly horny, but nodded lightly and drank his mulled wine. The girls decided that torture was called for now. They dragged Florian and Bjarne to a corner table, got mulled wine for themselves and Bjarne, and then did the talking.
Very obviously, the conversation was designed to get Bjarne to meet Florian. That, in turn, annoyed him. Was there something wrong with the oyster that two girls had to offer it like it was sour beer? Something wasn't right, was it? Florian didn't act like he wanted to meet guys, or anyone at all. He rather acted as if he was extremely annoyed by the girls, like Bjarne, and more and more pissed off.
One of them had said her name very quickly and quietly, giggling embarrassedly, staring at the other people and constantly talking nonsense in an annoying way. The other one, however, was called Saskia and wasn't bad at all. She was funny and very outspoken. She openly admitted that she was really grateful to Florian for asking her about what it was like at the Frog Prince because she had always wanted to come here. She was the sporty type, the kind that Bjarne liked because she didn't have to giggle about everything.
On top of that, Saskia wasn't bad-looking at all. Long legs that looked really good in the short skirt she wore with her boots. Thick, auburn hair, funny gray eyes. The type of buddy aunt who couldn't stop laughing and slapping you on the back. But also the type who would drive you home after a party when you were completely drunk, without saying a word, even if she had to stop every five meters to laugh.
Bjarne liked her immediately. She was basically like his sisters. After half an hour they had already exchanged cell phone numbers because Saskia urgently needed a gay buddy with whom she could go shopping, gossip about guys and go to the movies. Somehow, the oyster seemed to avoid Saskia with looks, as well as him. Interesting. Was he mad at her? Maybe because she got along so well with Bjarne?
Bjarne and the guys chatted for a good hour. Bjarne tried to slip in a chance for Florian to join the conversation as often as possible, but Florian kept quiet and sipped his coke. That didn't help either. His mouth was beautiful, his pink tongue was exactly what Bjarne had imagined for the evening... only not on the coke bottle, but involved in a smooch.
When the girls, of course together, wanted to go pee, Florian also got up. Bjarne hesitated for a millisecond, then followed him to the bathroom. Meanwhile, he had firmly decided to leave immediately afterwards and stick to Theo and his group until Theo also wanted to leave with his date. Florian couldn't stand him, and that annoyed him. No matter how cute the guy was. Bjarne was hot for him, Santa Claus had certainly meant well, but his masochism had already been used up for a round of gutter cleaning that month. He'd rather be made fun of by Theo's friends than kept quiet by this stupid oyster.
The toilet at the Frog Prince was about as cozy as the Frog Fountain from the inside, regardless of the weather, a tilting window was always open. It was also very well lit, which also contributed to the uncomfortable atmosphere. Presumably, the operators wanted to prevent any spontaneous sex. There was only one cell and two urinals, and Bjarne was lucky. Florian was obviously not shy about peeing, at least he unpacked his best piece as soon as he arrived and got started. At the moment Bjarne stepped next to him and risked a glance, he was finally lost for words.
With his mouth slightly open, Bjarne couldn't avert his eyes. For once that evening, it was a good thing that the guy was just staring down at himself, so he didn't notice the gawking. Shit, the boy was well taken care of! Did he scream 'here' twice when God measured the length of the dick or what? And that was in a non-erect state! Bjarne felt his fingers tremble. The chance to talk to Florian passed because the stupid guy not only quickly unpacked to pee, but was also quickly finished and pushed off.
Shit! Bjarne pounced after him without having achieved anything. “Hey, Florian! Wait a minute...”
Florian hesitated, then stopped and looked around briefly.
Bjarne tried not to let his gaze slip towards Florian's fly, but now he couldn't hold back the question anymore. “I need to know, okay? I just have to. Are you gay or not? And if so, would I have a chance or not?”
Florian looked at him again, briefly and darkly. “Probably not.”
“What? Not gay, or rather, I don't know if I want to give Bjarne a chance?” Bjarne batted her eyelashes as enticingly as possible.
Florian, unfortunately, didn't look up. He shrugged his shoulders. “Both.” And with that, he simply walked back to the table. The girls emerged from behind Bjarne and the three of them arrived at the table just as Florian had put on his jacket.
Bjarne noticed the disappointed looks on the girls' faces and made a last push. “Are you leaving? Can I come with you?”
Florian shrugged his shoulders briefly, then nodded and hugged the two girls one after the other. Bjarne moved in on Florian and said goodbye to the girls with a warm hug. After all, they were on his side.
As they were about to leave, he saw Theo with his date and some friends. Theo gave him a thumbs up and Bjarne decided not to tell his colleague and buddy about this biological wonder with Florian's equipment. Not that he would get even hornier for his sweet oyster!
Florian climbed into the family car after a rather long walk, which they had taken in silence after three attempts by Bjarne to start a conversation. A somewhat older station wagon, quite dirty, as was the case with all the people in the new development area.
In the car, Bjarne then turned off the radio and turned to Florian. “But now come clean! Have you taken a vow of silence? Are you on your way to becoming a monk and are only allowed to speak five hundred words a day and only to old people, or do you think I'm shit?”
Florian started the car and drove off. After a moment, he said rather annoyed, turning to the steering wheel, “I'm shy.” And that seemed to be a real problem for him. He clenched his hand into a fist and hit the steering wheel a few times. Bjarne almost thought he heard him say something like 'shit'.
“But... that much?” Since Florian remained silent and kept hitting the steering wheel, and Bjarne still had no desire to engage in masochism, he didn't say a word until they reached the village. After that, he only followed the route to his home.
But in the small street in front of the house, the confusing conclusion of the matter came. Florian turned off the engine. His hands held the steering wheel strangely clutched, almost Bjarne felt sorry for him again. “It's confusing,” Florian said at last and Bjarne thought so too.
“Eh? What's confusing?”
"Why are you following me?”
“Am I? I was at the Frog Prince first, at least that's where I saw you for the first time today.“
”Hm. But you... hit on me.“
”Maybe.“ Somehow that didn't go so badly. Thanks to Santa Claus for that.
”Why?!” The look from the pretty eyes was almost desperate.
“No idea. You're pretty cute.“
”Your type?“
”Absolutely.“
”But what about it?“
”Hm. The hair, the eyes, the build...” ‘The tail...’ Bjarne grinned helplessly. ”Everything.”
“Hm.“ Florian looked discontentedly in front of him. It seemed as if he was thinking hard about what Bjarne had said.
Time to make an attack. Bjarne pulled up the zipper on his jacket. ‘Do you maybe want to kiss? At least you don't have to talk.’
”No.“
”Not even try?”
Florian shook his head.
“Why not?” Bjarne was beginning to think that oysters were gross.
But then Florian finally made sense. “Not my thing. Besides, the piercing.”
“What about it?”
"I don't like it.”
“Really?” Bjarne stroked it uncertainly with his index finger. ”Do you really think it's shit because it turns you off, or because your parents said it was shit?”
Florian looked over at Bjarne, confused. He seemed to be thinking about it, then he screwed up his mouth. He had a sense of humor, a taciturn one, but that had almost been a grin. “Both,” he finally decided.
Bjarne was about to bang his head against the window. Instead, he got out and walked around the car. He opened the door on the other side, leaned in and smacked his oyster full on the mouth.
After that, he and Florian stared into each other's eyes. After two heartbeats, there was still no reaction. Finally, Florian whispered, shaking his head slightly, “Nah. It sucks. Really.”
Bjarne sighed deeply. “You really are totally nuts. Good night!”
3Gestatten:Beschützmichbruder
On Saturday night, Bjarne had lain in bed, horny, thinking about his oyster and how he could get it himself. Damn Santa. He had said he would do anything, but such a stunt? That was mean.
On Sunday morning, he had consulted with his friends and one of Theo's ex-boyfriends. The suggestions were all totally stupid and ditzy. Chasing after him, giving him stuff, terrorizing him with text messages, whining to his friends and their girlfriends that they were so in love. Nah, that wasn't going to work. Besides, everyone was depressing him with joyful exclamations that the time had finally come. The little one finally, finally had a friend in prospect. That was not helpful at all. Annoyed, Bjarne told his rather uninterested cat about the magnificent oyster.
Since the cat had no experience with oysters, Bjarne finally called Theo with a heavy heart and asked him. Theo, of course, made the most radical suggestion. “Get rid of the piercing. It's obvious. If you can't get the oyster any other way, then you have to give it up through the ultimate sacrifice. But then you have to realize that you have a huge crush on the guy. Even considering something like that clearly shows that you are suffering from the side effects and complications. Maybe you should ask a doctor or pharmacist. That reminds me, I have the cell phone number of a totally cute pharmacy helper, or was it the pharmacy delivery driver? Anyway. Just in case.”
It was clear that Theo wasn't really helpful. And the piercing had been expensive and painful and it looked cool. There was no way Bjarne wanted to get rid of it. Not to mention the fact that it really annoyed his mother, what the money and the pain had been worth. “Thanks, Theo, but no thanks. I'll be fine. See you tomorrow at work.”
“God! Don't remind me of that!”
Next, Saskia kindly called him. They chatted for a while about this and that, then she asked whether Bjarne had been able to land Florian. “He's always so quiet and also quite pretty, don't you think? We at the club have all wondered if he might be gay. He's been totally obsessed with it lately.”
“Oh, really?” That was another topic that might be worth expanding on. Saskia was only too happy to tell Bjarne that the girls from the club had all wondered how to get close to sweet Flo. Saskia found the idea of a Christmas wish completely plausible. ”Bjarne, that's how I feel too. I don't want anything else this year either. It's a shame that Florian is so quiet, and then also gay. No offense, but what do I do now?” She laughed heartily at the nickname ‘Oyster’ and then finally advised Bjarne to take the piercing out. ”It suits you perfectly and besides, you shouldn't have to completely change who you are. Then it's not real.”
Right after she had hung up, Bjarne realized that he was a little in love with his oyster. Saskia's praise had won him over again, completely won him over for this sweet guy. Besides, he had promised Santa that he would try harder, hadn't he? But he couldn't make the ultimate sacrifice, not if it meant that Bjarne would only be ignored and left alone. But how could you find out what was going on with an oyster like this? The next moment, Bjarne remembered that Florian lived in the yellow Swedish house on the corner of Schlehenkamp. It certainly wasn't that hard to find. The TV program was crap anyway and the weather was too stupid for jogging.
He swung himself onto his bike and rode out to Schlehenkamp. There were some finished and half-finished houses and semi-detached houses on muddy, not yet landscaped plots. Pallets of paving stones were lying around everywhere, not a particularly pretty sight. The onset of winter had largely paralyzed work on the roads and driveways. The yellow Swedish house glowed from a distance in the murky mess, and the dirty station wagon was parked in front of it, next to an SUV, also extremely dirty. Bjarne bravely headed towards it.
He didn't need to ring the bell; a slender woman with dark, straight hair, cut very short around her head, was just opening the side door as he parked his bike. She was wearing an apron and had an armful of wilted flowers. Bjarne saw the woman and the mud and immediately offered, “Shall I throw the flowers away?”
She smiled with relief. “Thank you, I forgot my rubber boots in the car after all. Isn't it awful? If it's already too cold to work on the pavements, can't it at least snow properly? How can the Christmas spirit arise in such muddy weather?”
Bjarne buried the flowers in a compost heap next to the gravel bed for the cars, as she had instructed him. When he returned to the woman, she surprised him by saying, “You're going to see Niklas, aren't you?”
"See who?”
“Aren't you one of Niklas' friends? You look the type.” She wiped her fingers on her apron. ‘I'm Rita, the mother.’
Bjarne introduced himself confusedly, then said, ”Actually, I wanted to see Florian.”
The effect was fitting for the oyster. She blinked as if it was very confusing for her oyster son to have friends. So was he always such a jerk to guys? “Florian? Ah. He's in the basement, training, of course. As always.”
Also confusing, but Bjarne freed himself from the stinky shoes and followed the woman through a chaotic utility room and the very cozy kitchen. It still smelled new and uninhabited everywhere. In the living room, a gray-haired man was cursing mildly at a shelf.
The woman pointed the way down to the basement. He found the way to the training room by ear, with loud music blaring from there. The basement room had been converted into a kind of mini gym with an exercise bike, some weights, a mat and a rowing machine, all grouped around a TV.
The oyster was sitting on the rowing machine, training, wearing only a sweaty T-shirt and shorts and looking incredibly appetizing. He stared blankly at the TV, which was showing a music program.
Bjarne shouted “Hey!”, but was not heard. So he startled Florian very obviously when he put a hand on his shoulder. Florian stared at him, then he reached for a remote control, and in the next moment the music stopped.
“Hey,” Bjarne repeated uncertainly. Then, because of Florian's gloomy look, he hastily explained that he had come on Saskia's advice.
That made Florian's pretty eyebrows go up a notch. He asked, rather soundlessly, “Saskia?”
“Yes... anyway, I wanted to ask you something.”
Florian just looked at him expectantly, so Bjarne immediately continued. “If I took the piercing out, would you kiss me?”
Florian blinked, then shrugged. “There's a scar there.” With that, he resumed rowing. Quite obviously a total social no-go, this boy.
A dark voice behind them made them both jump. “Piercing? What piercing?” Bjarne spun around to face a guy who couldn't fool him when it came to piercings. At least, he had three earrings that were visible at first glance and two in his right eyebrow. The guy looked like a rough, strong version of Florian. Quite obviously his brother. The same high cheekbones, the same dark hair, even if it was a bit more wispy and hung down his forehead. But in any case, he had the same somehow exotic-looking, narrow eyes. But that was where the similarities ended. Where Florian had appeared wiry, this boy was sturdy and strong; where Florian had seemed delicate, this guy was rough and unpolished. This effect was supported by a rather ugly scar that stretched from the corner of his mouth up his left cheek. When Bjarne saw the scar, he couldn't help flinching.
The jerk hadn't escaped the guy, his eyes became slits as he stroked them with two fingers. “What are you doing here?!” Quite aggressive. Did he need to be? “Are you hitting on my brother, or what? Don't bother, Florian's not into men.”
“I see.“ Bjarne glanced back at Florian, who had resumed rowing, then turned to his brother. ‘And you know that for sure?’
”As his brother, I'm probably in the picture.” The guy pushed up his sweater sleeves, revealing strong forearms.
“And what was he doing in the Froschprinz, then?” Bjarne raised his head rebelliously.
This was obviously new information for the brother. He furrowed his brows, a sturdier version of Florian's delicate, painted brows. ”Flo? What's that supposed to mean? What were you doing alone in the Froschprinz?”
Now he stared at Florian, completely annoyed. Florian shouldn't be alone in the wild gay world? This Niklas was pretty much a bodyguard. The total protect-me brother. It was terribly annoying. Was there only going to be hurdles and stress with the stupid oyster?
Florian visibly annoyed took a break from rowing. “Saskia.” One word and everything was clear?
It was hilarious how this unfriendly Niklas obviously got the 'silent treatment' as well. Satisfied, Bjarne looked back and forth between the oyster and her protect-me brother. “So. If Florian goes there and you too, as it seems, then you're both obviously very interested.”
“Florian to you? That's ridiculous!” Angrily, he stared at Niklas, but rather at his brother. With the scar and his fists clenched, he was not a harmless sight. As a precaution, Bjarne now preferred to take a step back. The guy took a step into the room. ‘Did Florian hit on you?’ ”I can't imagine that at all.”
Bjarne was beginning to find this brother a touch more than annoying. Even though he was kind of right and it was, of course, totally illogical that the oyster had hit on him. “How about you beat it and don't interfere? We're talking here!”
“Florian doesn't want anything to do with you!” They stood a bit too close to each other and stared at each other.
But at that moment, the oyster stood up and stepped towards his brother. Mildly reprimanding, he suggested, “Don't act like a total idiot.”
His brother stared at him in confusion, then snorted and stomped out of the room.
The next moment, Florian was standing close to Bjarne. “Go too.”
Bjarne clenched his hand into a fist. “Only if I get an answer!”
Florian looked at him briefly, then away again. “What was the question?”
“You're killing me! Shit! The question was: do I have a chance with you if I take the piercing out?”
Florian dreamily fiddled with the weights, then shrugged. “No.”
“Just like that? You're really not gay? Then why did you look at me like that? You wanted to go to the frog prince yesterday!"
Florian sighed, now he looked completely annoyed. He looked at the door, but his brother was gone. He looked vaguely at the TV, seemed to be thinking, then glanced at Bjarne. ”Are you coming to the Christmas market?”
Bjarne blinked. “Was that a complete sentence? Coming from you? Oh, how cool. Why the Christmas market? I'll be there, sure. At the volunteer fire department stand, but now more information. Where to go? What time? To do what?”
Instead of an answer, Florian handed Bjarne a note. He would obviously be serving soup and mulled wine at the volunteer fire department's booth at the Christmas market next weekend. Just like Bjarne. Just like a bunch of others. If you lived here, you were generously enlisted. The annoying new pastor had bagged Tschunik and Theo for the bake sale in the parish hall. Bjarne had missed that, but Theo had raved about the pastor. Since he probably looked totally sexy when he said things like 'charitable causes', Theo had had to join in unexpectedly.
Bjarne had laughed at first, but minutes later, thanks to the volunteer fire brigade, he had been put on a list for one of the stands outside the church. But the oyster hadn't known that, had it? After all, it was a kind of date. Bjarne clenched his hand into a fist and put the note in his pocket. “It's a date. I'll come there at three o'clock, then we'll see.”
In reply, the music started blaring again and Florian started his workout, ignoring Bjarne. Sociopath, damn him. If he didn't have such a hot... Bjarne immediately forbade himself from thinking about Oyster's cock length. That was too embarrassing and superficial and, besides, way too horny and horny didn't go well on the bike.
He trotted past Florian's father, who was mumbling, his mother, who was humming, and the brother, who was staring gloomily in some way, waved casually and swung himself onto his wet bike. When he looked back, the cruel Niklas was staring after him. The path through sleet and mud wasn't too bad. Bjarne was confident and felt like a winner. At least. He had a date. With the oyster. Even if she wasn't as easy to crack as he had hoped