07-11-2025, 03:48 PM
Actually, it was an evening like many others during the week. The whole group was sitting together in the kitchen playing cards while something to eat was being prepared.
There was chatter about everything under the sun, and yet today was a little different! Today HE was there and if I hadn't warned him about the sharp tongues of my friends, HE would certainly have turned around on the doorstep.
I had met him about two weeks ago. I had just finished cleaning the darkroom. I wanted to take a break outside and almost ran into HIM.
We got to talking and quickly realized that we had a lot in common. The same music, the same movies, similar clothes, the same food, you'd think we were one and the same person.
We were both slim and slightly muscular, had short hair and striking eyes.
I had spent every second of my free time with him in the last two weeks and had fallen deeply in love with him. Surely it hadn't gone unnoticed in the shared flat and now they wanted to finally meet him.
I was a little nervous, because after all, it was a very close friendship between us. We weren't a couple yet, and to be honest, I didn't even know if he was into men at all.
You couldn't necessarily tell that I was gay. After all, I was very heterolike. Still, people suspected it because of my job. I was a partner in three businesses here in the city.
There was a darkroom, an only men's restaurant and an only men's disco. There was always a lot to do and actually my time was much too short for a relationship.
There was a danger that he would meet someone else. That's why I made sure that I really sacrificed every free minute for him.
We had time and it didn't have to come to a relationship immediately. I really enjoyed the harmony and closeness. Small gestures that meant a lot.
For example, when he simply massaged my shoulders because I was once again totally tense. After all, that was his job and he was absolutely great at it. Or when I cheekily just sat on his lap because there was no other place available when we were sitting with his friends.
I was just being myself and it suited me. It didn't come across as a come-on or even as gay.
Nevertheless, I had my thoughts. Was it just friendship for HIM?
*~*
Freshly showered and perfectly styled as always, I was about to fry dinner. The others were already sitting at the table together playing cards.
Crasy, whose real name was Karl, our crazy punk, was sitting at the table with Ben, our quietest member of the group. They were playing cards with Sascha, our emo. The five of us lived in a big house that I had inherited from my parents when I turned eighteen.
Unfortunately, they had passed away early and I had grown up with my uncle, who ran the business. When I came of age, I also became a partner and after training as a hairdresser, which I completed in two years, I started working.
Now I was just twenty-one years old and already fully in the business. Most of the time I ran everything by myself because my uncle had business in another city that he also had to take care of.
Mike, my best friend, was like my big brother. He was the cool biker, a head taller than me and five years older. My watchdog and always there for me when I had problems.
We had it all, really. Mike was totally straight. Sascha was also straight, although he once confessed to me that he wouldn't kick me out of bed. Crazy and Ben were bisexual and I was gay.
I was tired after a double shift and all the paperwork, but I also took care of a lot of the household and cooking.
Mike stood next to me and grinned broadly. Any moment now, the doorbell would ring.
“JJ, take it easy,“ Mike said.
“Micky! Don't be a pain!” I grumbled from the side. My real name was James Jessy, the middle name was my mother's first name, and since I didn't like James and Jessy was too feminine, everyone called me JJ (pronounced in English).
My eyes nervously flicked to the clock, which was ticking ever closer to six o'clock.
*-*-*
I had been back in Germany for about half a year, back from America, where I had completed an internship abroad.
I had taken my best friend Lee, whom I had met in America, with me directly from there, or rather, he had come with me, and we now lived in my large three-room condominium in a kind of shared flat.
Lee Scott was a native American. He was twenty-five years young, 1.85 m tall and of slim, athletic build. He had a big mouth when it came down to it and so fast nobody fooled him. He also didn't put up with anything.
Since he spoke four other languages, French, Japanese, Korean and Italian, perfectly and fluently, in addition to his own, he now worked here as an interpreter.
He was my best friend, my advisor and sometimes also my protector. I could always rely on him.
I had opened my own massage studio here, which was doing very well, and I was the boss. My two employees, Jonas and Roman, had very quickly become very good friends of mine.
I knew from Jonas that he was my age, gay and living with a man. He was quite cheeky, but also very funny, which made me laugh out loud on many occasions.
Roman was a year younger than me and single. He just didn't want a relationship; he found them too exhausting. He was very quiet and studious. But he was good to talk to and a very good listener.
Everything was going well until about two weeks ago when a guy who looked almost exactly like me almost ran into me.
We got along very well very quickly and found that we had some similarities.
With one exception! I was not quite as wired as he and he behaved very strangely to me in part. However, I had no plan what that should and made me no great thoughts about it. So I took it just as it and did it as wired? cute.
My name is Derek Draven, also called DD (English). I am twenty-four years young, have short dark brown hair and steel-blue eyes. Physically I am 1.80 m tall and of slim, slightly muscular build.
For today, JJ, that's the name of my new friend, had invited me to his place at 6 o'clock.
As he thought, I would probably meet the other tenants and they would get to know me. Well, he had already warned me about them? that they were quite critical and had sharp tongues.
Without further ado, I decided to take my best friend Lee with me for support. He had agreed and I was glad not to have to go there alone.
Of course, I had informed JJ via text message that I would be bringing someone with me so that he would not be too surprised.
When I came home from work, Lee was already ready, so only I had to get ready.
I quickly ate a snack, then went to the bathroom, showered, took care of myself and then got dressed in my room. Of course, I styled my hair perfectly, as always, and put on a few accessories. A little perfume and I was ready.
“Shall we go?” I asked my best friend.
“Sure, come on.”
Together we left my apartment, got into the car and I drove to the address given, which was not so hard to find.
We got out of the car, I locked it, then we walked towards the big house, nodded at each other and I pressed the doorbell.
*-*-*
When the bell rang, I pressed the ladle for the pan into Mike's hand and rushed to the door. I was already excited and very nervous as I opened the door.
Then I fell around DD's radiant neck and hugged him, while I shook hands with Lee and grinned at him.
“It's great that you're here,“ I said and kissed both of them on the cheek, close to their lips. It was just my way and I always greeted them like that.
“Come in!” I added and pulled DD along with me by the hand. I squeezed his hand firmly, wanting to show him who my friends were, but also that I was nervous. I knew that he understood me without words.
We then entered the kitchen together and Mike, who had already met both of them, smiled broadly and greeted them by shaking their hands.
The others also introduced themselves politely when we approached the table and shook hands one after the other.
“Why don't you sit down?” I said to Lee and DD, while I let go of DD's hand and went back to my meal.
Crasy looked at DD and whispered something in Ben's ear, who was sitting right next to him: ”No wonder JJ likes him. He's just as cute as he is.”
Then he had to giggle and got a dirty look from me.
Mike, meanwhile, was talking to Lee in another language to improve his French, as he usually did when they met.
Now the meal was ready and I placed the large pan on the table. Plates and cutlery were also handed out.
I sat down on the corner bench, close to DD. It was a bit cramped, but also very cozy with so many people eating.
“Well, then, bon appetit!” I wished and grinned at DD.
The first step had been taken and so far it had gone quite harmlessly. I hoped it would stay that way.
*-*-*
Jeez, as soon as the door opened, I had JJ hanging around my neck, which caused Lee to smirk cheekily, but I just rolled my eyes. How could you be so wound up?
But I didn't want to be so grumpy and I also gave him a short hug, but immediately let go of him again.
“I'm also happy to be here,” I replied to JJ's greeting in my very deep but gentle voice.
And as if that wasn't enough, JJ now also took me by the hand and led me to the kitchen to the others, where we greeted the others. Lee followed us obediently.
We greeted the others and shortly after Lee was taken over by Mike, both talked in French, of which I did not understand too much.
I checked out the situation here first, before I joined the action. However, I looked again and again slightly jealous to Lee and Mike, because Lee seemed, as always when we met, to get along very well with Mike.
I didn't say too much at the moment though.
So I began to regret that I had brought Lee with me. He was my friend, not Mike's! I couldn't take my eyes off the two of them, and I was almost afraid of missing something.
However, I was repeatedly distracted by JJ. My jealousy remained and I could hardly hide it. Crazy Ben had whispered something in his ear and had to laugh. However, I didn't quite understand the reason, because my thoughts were somewhere else – with Lee and this “Mike”.
I tried not to let it show too much, but I only succeeded to a limited extent. I would certainly have a word with Lee afterwards. Finally the meal was served and we sat down. It was very cramped, but it worked. JJ was sitting on one side and Lee was sitting next to me on the other.
I nodded when JJ wished us all bon appétit, as did Ben, Sascha, everyone else, and my Lee. But since I had already eaten at home, I didn't take too much of the food and allowed myself plenty of time before I slowly began to eat.
Again and again I looked at everyone in turn, my gaze repeatedly lingering on Lee and Mike.
*-*-*
I only had eyes for DD. I didn't really notice that he looked at Lee more than at me. My rose-colored glasses fit perfectly and couldn't really be taken off. The fact that Mike and Lee got along so well made me wonder. I could have sworn that Mike was more than straight. But as the saying goes: Everyone is a bit bi!
The meal was quickly consumed and while I was still clearing up, the cards were already being shuffled for a new game.
“But JJ isn't playing!” I heard Crazy say. He knew exactly how well I could play and that I always won.
I cheekily stuck out my tongue at him: ”I'm still busy anyway!”
First of all, I had to do the dishes and, as always, no one helped. They were all lazy; even Mike was much too busy with Lee.
*-*-*
The meal had tasted really good, even though I couldn't get much down. Of course, I had also noticed how JJ kept looking at me, but I was only concerned with my jealousy and watched Lee and Mike closely.
After dinner, the others wanted to play cards, but I didn't feel like it at all. My eyes were more or less glued to my best friend.
To distract myself a little, I helped JJ clean up and do the dishes. But I didn't talk; my thoughts were somewhere else anyway.
They all seemed very nice, at least as far as I could tell so far. Only Mike was a thorn in my side.
*~*
In the meantime, Lee had noticed that DD wasn't talking as much as usual and that something seemed to be very wrong with him. So he excused himself briefly to Mike and went over to DD.
“DD, would you come with me, please? I think we need to talk.”
DD nodded and went with Lee briefly before the door.
*-*-*
I was totally glad that DD helped me with the clearing up. He understood me without words, which is why we didn't speak. A smile or nod was enough and everything was fine. However, when Lee took DD away from me, I didn't understand the world anymore.
Something was not right here. Mike came over to me and helped me with the dishes, after Lee had of course said that it was totally okay if he went out briefly. Lost in thought, I fished around in the dishwater.
“Are you going to catch something today?” Mike joked.
“Micky!“ I scolded and kept looking at the door.
“Lee won't eat DD and will surely bring him back to you in one piece,” Mike winked at me.
A sigh escaped my lips and I took a dirty plate and washed it clean.
*-*-*
Once outside, Lee looked me in the eye and asked:
DD, what's the matter with you, hm??
Nothing, what should be the matter??
Yes, you think I didn't notice that something is wrong with you? You hardly talk, constantly look at Mike and me. So, do you want to talk to me??
What should I tell you? It's nothing.?
Why are you lying to me, hm??
I looked at Lee first, then I looked at the floor.
I was just thinking, but it wasn't anything bad.
Oh, and that's why you kept looking over at us?
Um, it wasn't intentional, I promise, I tried to talk my way out of it.
Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time, but please change that. I mean, JJ is your friend and the others here are really nice too and they don't deserve for you to keep to yourself, okay?”
“Okay,” I replied, and then Lee took me in his arms and I snuggled up against him a little, but only briefly, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.
We went back inside and I tried my best not to let anything show on my face.
*-*-*
Finally they came back inside and Mike went out on the terrace for a smoke. I finished the dishes and put everything away in the cupboards.
“Do you want to get some fresh air too?” I asked DD, looking him directly in the eye.
I would have loved to drag him upstairs with me, where we would have been alone, without the others. But that would have been a bit stupid. Tired, I had to rub my eyes; the double shift was making itself felt.
“DD, you should let JJ sleep at night sometime,” Crazy said cheekily, and I just looked at DD, shaking my head.
Luckily I had warned him, otherwise he might have thought who knows what.
*-*-*
While Lee sat down at the table with the others and played cards with them, I nodded in agreement to JJ.
“Okay, let's get some fresh air,” I answered his question.
I grinned at Crazy's comment and replied,
“Let's see what can be done.” and looked him cheekily in the eye before I caught JJ's gaze and knew what he was trying to tell me.
Of course it was just a joke on my part and I thought to myself that it was just a joke from Crasy too. After all, my heart only beat for Lee, but he didn't know that and I would never be able to tell him. So I would continue to torture myself, and the fact that we lived under the same roof unfortunately didn't make things any better.
JJ was a very good friend to me, a bit eccentric, but somehow cute and very handsome, and he had incredibly beautiful eyes. If I hadn't been so infatuated with Lee, JJ would have been right up my street.
And maybe? hmm? no? I quickly dismissed the thought? didn't even think it through.
Finally, I went out with JJ and enjoyed the fresh, clear air?
*-*-*
Once outside, Mike quickly finished his cigarette and rejoined the others, sitting down next to Lee. Somehow there was something wrong with DD, because whenever he was with Lee, it was somehow weird.
Do you want to talk about it?, I asked, because I noticed that something was bothering you.
I looked DD directly in the eye, unsure of myself. I wanted him to know that he could trust me completely. I lovingly put my hand on his upper arm as a small gesture. I was always tormented when DD wasn't feeling well, and I wanted certainty. Things were going very well between us and I was enjoying it. It could stay that way for a while.
After years of changing men like my underwear, I was now very sure that I finally wanted something permanent.
*-*-*
I listened to JJ and thought about it. However, I somehow couldn't really open up.
“Nothing's bothering me. It just seems that way, don't worry. If something were wrong, I would tell you,” I replied, lying to myself once again and to my friend on top of that.
I didn't know exactly whether I could trust JJ; I hadn't known him that long, after all. I knew that he wouldn't say anything to Lee, but I just couldn't really confide in him yet.
His hand on my upper arm felt good and somehow he made me feel like I could trust him... but then what? Should I really dare?
? Alright, you want to know?. Okay, I just lied to you and to myself? it's because of? Lee? I love him, you see. But I can't tell him? I can't. He's the best friend I've ever had. He's my advisor? and sometimes also my protector. But I can't tell him that I love him? I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. But he must never know, and he never will,? I explained to JJ, lowering my head.
What would JJ think of me now? My insecurity grew? now that I had practically come out.
*-*-*
Suddenly my soap bubble burst and everything fell off my face. I had expected everything under the sun, but not that!
I would have loved to write, cry, rage, whatever, to let off steam. But I remained calm and didn't show anything.
I quickly wiped away a tear where DD was still looking at the ground and leaned with my arms crossed against the small stone wall that was in front of us. I looked out into the distance, let my gaze wander.
“I understand you. That's really difficult!” I replied to him. My voice was very calm, maybe even more composed than usual and very serious.
But you mean a lot to him, too, that's clear. If you want my advice, don't hide it any longer. If you wait too long, someone else might snatch him up!” I added after a pause, putting a lot of feeling into the words.
Why had I remained silent? Had I remained silent the whole time? Maybe I had sensed it? Now I didn't want to say it anymore. At least not at that moment. Maybe sometime?
Now I looked DD directly in the face, put on a mask, smiled at him.
“He won't find out from me! You'll have to do it yourself! Dare to do it!”, I advised him.
He should be happy and get what he longed for.
If you never dare, how will you know? And even if he doesn't return your love, which I don't think he will, you've been friends for so long that you should be able to handle it! I added before looking out into the distance again and enjoying the fresh air.
*-*-*
While JJ was talking, I shook my head negatively. But I listened to the end of what he said and advised me. Then I replied in a calm voice.
“No, no, I can't do that. I want him to be happy and I don't want to stand in his way. I guess I'll stay alone.”
Of course, I noticed how calm JJ suddenly became, and I realized that something was not quite right with him either. So I leaned against the wall, right next to him. I looked at him, then I looked into the distance.
Would you like to tell me what's bothering you, too? I can tell that you have something on your mind, too. I mean, we're friends and I just opened up to you, too. I'd like to listen to you, too, I offered.
I couldn't know what was really going on with him, but I wanted to at least listen to him, if he would let me.
*-*-*
As if by itself, I leaned my head on his shoulder and enjoyed the closeness he gave me.
“I just want you to be happy! You're putting obstacles in your own way!” I answered him.
There was no other way, because I couldn't tell him yet. Instead, I just enjoyed his closeness and security.
“Besides, I'm pretty exhausted from today,” I added, yawning.
Then I stretched and yanked myself. It had cooled down a bit by now and I looked at DD questioningly.
“Do you want to go back inside?”
*-*-*
Hm? What more could I say? Nevertheless, I sensed that something was bothering him, but I didn't press the issue, not wanting to harass him.
Besides, it felt nice to have him leaning against me and seemingly enjoying it.
“I understand you. Go ahead, I would like to stay here a little longer, if it's okay,“ I replied calmly.
“I think we'll go home soon, too,” I added quietly.
Then I looked further into the distance and a few small tears ran down my face, but I hid my face from JJ, didn't want him to have to worry.
*-*-*
Then I'll stay too!, I decided. However, I didn't look at DD, but further into the distance.
I let my head rest on his shoulder, really enjoying it. Then I just kept quiet and looked at the sky. Slowly it began to dawn and you could see the first bats.
A magnificent natural spectacle presented itself to us and I was glad that he was there. It's a shame that his heart already belonged to someone else. Still, I wanted to take all I could get, even if it was just to be near him.
*-*-*
I just nodded in agreement and enjoyed him leaning against me. Still, the tears would not stop. I was in agony as I stared ahead and wished I could just disappear, which of course wasn't possible.
Finally I wiped the tears away as if they were pesky flies and pulled myself together.
*~*
Meanwhile, Lee realized that DD had been gone for quite a while and asked around.
“Say, do you know where DD disappeared to?”
“I think he's outside with JJ. I'm not sure though.”
“Hm? Yes, thank you. I'll go take a look,” said Lee, and got up.
Sascha then said:
“Well, leave them alone, maybe they have something important to discuss.“ and had to grin a little.
Lee looked at Sascha a little aghast? slightly confused?
“Well, if you think so,” he replied, but had his own thoughts about it and would probably have to talk to him later when they got home.
But for now, he acted completely normal, just like he always was.
*-*-*
Mike grinned at Lee and then said in French: 'Tell me you haven't noticed the spark between the two of them yet?
He felt it was clear that something was going on between DD and JJ. Just like everyone else seemed to notice.
*~*
Outside I still enjoyed DD's presence, but I noticed that something was wrong. However, I remained silent.
“We could also go up to my room and listen to some music,” it occurred to me. Somehow I wanted to be alone with him, but it was very uncomfortable outside. For some reason, I also wanted to hold him and just hold on to him.
Maybe I was afraid of losing him?
*-*-*
Lee now started to laugh, after Mike's words.
“You don't seriously believe that DD wants something from JJ, do you? I don't? Honestly, I can't imagine it,” he replied, also in French.
In fact, he couldn't imagine it, because he didn't know that his friend was gay. He had never noticed anything like that about him, but now he was already worrying about it.
*~*
At JJ's suggestion to go to his room, I nodded in agreement, because it was also slowly becoming too uncomfortable and a bit too cold for me there.
'Well, let's go to your room,' I said quietly and with a reasonably calm voice.
I risked another look into the distance, then I turned to JJ and smiled gently at him, while I looked him directly in the eyes.
Somehow I felt alone and quite lonely at the moment, even though it wasn't the case. The initial joy of being here had now turned to sadness.
*-*-*
Mike grinned even wider and remained silent. He now devoted his attention to the cards and left it at his statement.
Maybe he was wrong and the crackling was just JJ who had gone out? Lee knew DD very well and what if he was right?
*~*
I just hugged DD so intensely, I didn't want to let go of him at all. But then I did and pulled him by the hand to the next door, so that we didn't have to go through the kitchen. Then I snuck up the stairs with him, all the way up to my room.
I left the light dim and turned on some music. My room was small but cozy. The only place to sit was on my bed, but that was just as well. I got something to drink from a mini-fridge and poured DD a drink, and one for myself.
There were lots of cushions on the bed, so I just sat down in the middle of them and made myself comfortable. I would have liked to just fool around with him like I usually did and forget everything that had just happened. But somehow I couldn't.
There was a strange mood in the air and I had to overcome that first. On the other hand, I longed to just hug him again and comfort him a little.
*-*-*
Lee also went back to playing cards and didn't show anything, which he was very good at. He was so good at repressing feelings that he seemed like an iceberg, which he truly wasn't.
But on the outside, he could appear as if he was, and that's exactly what he did at that moment.
Nobody could see behind his facade, he would never allow that!
*~*
“Thank you,” I whispered to JJ, as he gave me something to drink, and I took the glass in my hand.
At first I just looked into the glass, watched the liquid a little, how beautifully it was reflected. I almost began to dream. JJ had made himself comfortable on the pillows, but I didn't dare to do that, I just sat there and didn't know what to say.
The mood and the tension between us was almost unbearable for me, who was actually an emotional person. I took a deep breath in and out? and finally burst into tears after all? I didn't want to, but I just couldn't stop it anymore? the tears just ran down my eyes? then dripped quietly and lonely to the ground.
*-*-*
Wow, hey?, I said, startled. I quickly put my glass down and took DD's in my hands too, put it away.
Then I just took him in my arms and let myself fall back into the pillows with him.
“Shhh? It's okay,” I tried to calm him down and gently stroked his back. It almost broke my heart to see him like this, and I was overcome.
Very gently and lovingly, I began to kiss away his tears, one by one. I don't know if it was the mood here, the music, the dim light, but I just couldn't control myself anymore.
I just wanted to comfort DD and show him how much I liked him.
*~*
Meanwhile the others continued playing cards and didn't even realize what was going on upstairs.
They drank, laughed and talked about everything under the sun. Lee was just part of it, as if he sat with them every evening.
*-*-*
Keeping his poker face, Lee won one game after the other. But his facial expression didn't change at all. He came across as ice-cold, although he did give a brief grin every now and then, but that was it.
He felt quite comfortable here, but he wanted to go home again at some point, because he was slowly getting a little tired too. Besides, he had already had quite a bit to drink, which made him even more tired now and he could hardly keep his eyes open anymore.
*~*
Just then, I was overcome by sadness, and I couldn't stand the tension and this depressed mood any longer. I cried when JJ paid attention to me, hugged me and fell into the pillows with me.
He began to kiss away my tears and I just let it happen, as if there were no tomorrow. Suddenly it seemed as if I couldn't get enough of him, as if that was what I wanted, but was it really?
I let myself go, gave myself to him, and now I knew what he felt, sensed what had been oppressing him, and that he was probably gay too, like me. And I now also sensed what he very likely felt for me.
Because it was also clear to me that you don't try to comfort a friend with kisses and certainly not with kisses like that. Nevertheless, I now looked at him very surprised and with wide eyes, from which tears were still running, as if they had only aimed to be kissed away by him.
Fully aware of what he was doing and what I was allowing, I broke away from him and still looked at him wide-eyed and scrutinizingly, almost skeptically. With a voice choked with tears, but still very calm, I asked him:
What are you doing to me? What's the point of this? What would you do if I left you? What exactly do you feel for me? Talk to me, please! Tell me what's going on!
Sure, there were a lot of questions that I bombarded him with, but I wanted answers from him now! Even though I already suspected what was going on, I just wanted confirmation from him.
I wouldn't have been quiet before anyway.
*-*-*
Mike was happy for Lee that he had such a good hand. Nevertheless, he was also slowly getting tired and he would certainly not last much longer. Yawning, he broke away from the group and went for a smoke again.
*~*
I looked at DD, feeling depressed. Now I had given myself away.
You've got me there, I guess? No? I know that I've fallen in love with you. Only after you told me that you were in love with Lee, it was almost impossible for me to tell you, I explained.
Now I took my hands and wiped away his tears, I couldn't bear to see him like this.
*-*-*
Now?. yes, now I realized a lot, but he had now only confirmed what I had suspected anyway.
“I thought so,” I heard myself say and looked lovingly at JJ.
Oh dear, JJ, I'm so sorry. You feel the same as I do. We could actually team up on this, couldn't we?, I continued, enjoying his hands lovingly wiping away my tears from my face.
I moved up a little closer to him, took him in my arms and gently pressed him against me.
“Forgive me? I'm sorry. I like you, really, and actually you're totally my type. You're so sweet? a bit wound up? but totally cute. JJ, please give me a little time, okay. It's all a bit much at the moment,” I whispered, gently stroking his back.
I felt so sorry for him, because he felt the same way about me as I did about Lee.
*~*
Lee was now starting to yawn and said, “Well, I'll go see what's keeping DD. We should go home soon.”
Then he got up and went outside, hoping to find DD there.
*-*-*
“It's okay! I wanted to take my time anyway,” I said calmly, enjoying his embrace.
I just held him and stroked his back, enjoying the warmth he radiated.
“Everything's okay, don't worry about it. With all the work I have, I can't worry about anything anyway,” I added.
It was nice just to lie there with him and he hadn't rejected me, that felt really good. I had more than enough time.
*~*
Mike grinned at Lee: “Well, you're looking for DD? They're probably up in JJ's room! Come on, let's go see if we're disturbing anyone?”
Then he went up quietly with Lee and listened at the door first. Except for a little music, nothing could be heard, so he knocked tentatively.
*-*-*
I can't express how much I enjoyed this moment with JJ. I snuggled up to him, then I couldn't control myself anymore and just did what my heart told me to do... I looked lovingly into his eyes and began to kiss him tenderly.
I didn't hear the knocking at the door, did I? Did JJ not want to let go? As if he had taken me prisoner? Just like that.
All of a sudden, I felt so safe and loved with JJ. Was it him I had been missing all this time?
*~*
Lee had just nodded at Mike and had gone with him to JJ's room. He too listened at the door after Mike had knocked.
But he couldn't hear anything either, except for the soft music, but spoke through the door.
“DD?” ”DD, come on, open the door. I want to go home slowly.”
But still nothing happened.
'Well, I'll just go home alone then, if you don't want to come with me,' Lee said, and went back downstairs.
*-*-*
I was only too happy to return the intense kiss that DD gave me and didn't even notice the knocking. I didn't care about anything at the moment, I just wanted to enjoy the moment and gave myself completely.
Meanwhile Mike called after Lee to wait and just opened the door. What he saw then made him grin and he nodded to Lee, beckoning him back.
“Didn't I tell you!” he said quietly, pointing at us.
We were lying on the bed, tightly wrapped around each other, making out like there was no tomorrow, and we didn't even notice what was going on around us.
*-*-*
Lee actually saw the two of them lying in bed and making out? he would never have thought that. He shook his head at first, but didn't say anything. With a raised eyebrow, he looked at Mike.
“Thanks, that's enough,” which almost sounded a little jealous.
He then turned around, ran down the stairs and left the house, slightly angry and almost fleeing. It wasn't intentional that he hadn't said goodbye to anyone, he just wanted to get out of there.
*~*
I hadn't noticed the door opening, I just wanted to be with him at the moment... with JJ. A little shyly, I stroked his lips and asked for admission. Suddenly I couldn't let go of him anymore, held him tight in my arms and sent my hands wandering over his beautiful body... closing my eyes with relish.
*-*-*
Mike thought his part and would tell it later to the two, now he closed the door quietly and went to bed himself.
*~*
I hadn't noticed any of that either. My lips were much too busy with DD's and my hands were also caressing his body. At first still quite shy, since I could hardly believe it, then increasingly more forceful and aroused, I went forward.
I welcomed his tongue in my mouth and teased it directly with mine. I gave a blissful sigh into his mouth and could hardly contain myself. I was so glad that this was happening and I enjoyed it so much.
*-*-*
Lee had taken a taxi home and then angrily slammed the door shut.
He locked himself in his room and raged verbally. When he finally wanted to go to sleep, he couldn't fall asleep because he was too preoccupied with what he had seen.
He was jealous because he would have liked to be in JJ's place. He felt the same way as DD, who hadn't dared to tell him how he felt. Lee hadn't been able to either? hadn't dared.
So now it seemed as if he was the loser. Should he dare to talk to DD later? He wasn't sure.
*~*
I sensed that JJ wanted a little more? I wasn't averse either. So I continued to kiss him passionately for quite a while, but now I let my hands wander under his clothes and began to caress his naked skin. I pushed up his shirt and kissed my way down his body, leaving a wet trail on his skin with my tongue. I did everything extremely slowly, wanting to savor it, wanting to “eat” him.
Slowly, I began to undress him, exposing his body piece by piece. I drew fine lines on his body with my fingers and tickled him with my tongue. I no longer had myself under control.
Finally, I arrived at his waistband, first just unbuttoning the button, then sinking my tongue into his belly button while opening his trousers completely.
Very slowly and with relish, I took off his trousers, but still left his hands in his briefs. But my right hand was particularly inquisitive and felt the need to slide into his briefs and caress the sensitive skin there, while my mouth soaked through his briefs and explored his manhood through them.
Meanwhile, it was already quite tight in my pants, I could hardly control myself anymore.
*-*-*
I let out a soft hum, otherwise I was more of the quiet type during sex and just enjoyed it. Even now I just let myself go and go. My manhood had already straightened up and filled my panties completely. The glans was even already perky and wanted to come out at the side.
His hand in my panties drove me crazy and his mouth drove me crazy. It was as if my panties were on fire. Everything felt so incredibly horny, as if I were trapped in a dream from which I never wanted to wake up.
I gently ruffled DD's hair and pressed him harder against my stomach.
*-*-*
Smiling to myself, I noticed how much it excited JJ what I was doing. And I continued with what I was doing.
I noticed the tip emerging at the side and my tongue was cheeky enough to gently lick the glans, then let go of JJ briefly, freeing him from the last bit of fabric, so that he now lay naked before me and I caressed him while looking at him.
Again I bent down, lay down between his legs and began to satisfy him orally. I kissed the glans, licked the length of the penis and then took it briefly into my mouth, but let it slide out again immediately.
I did this again and again until I took it all into my mouth and began to suck. I didn't ignore his testicles either, which I also licked from time to time or massaged.
*~*
Meanwhile, Lee decided that since DD was somehow not coming home, he would travel back to his home country and he would not come back. He turned on his notebook and booked a ticket to America, more precisely to Miami, then he packed his things because he no longer had any business here.
Of course, he would probably have to talk to DD first, but what would be the point? He loved DD, who didn't know this, and he seemed to have lost out to JJ anyway.
Once his things were packed, he wrote DD another letter. In the letter, he revealed his feelings and disappointment to his “friend” that he seemed to have lost out to JJ. He also wrote that he had traveled back to Miami and would not be coming back.
He signed the letter with his name, then waited a moment before finally leaving the apartment for good. Tears ran down his cheeks? tears of unrequited love? of disappointment.
*-*-*
When DD now gave me oral sex, I began to toss my head wildly from side to side. Nevertheless, I remained calm, even though it was damn nice what he was doing to me. I had had so much sex before, but this time it was different. I had never been so much in love and so I couldn't control myself when it suddenly came to me.
I actually wanted to warn DD, but it happened so fast. Apologizing, I stroked his cheek and let the great feeling linger for a moment. Then I turned the tables. Pushing DD into the pillows, I grinned broadly.
Piece of clothing after piece of clothing fell to the floor, while I kissed and licked every inch of naked flesh that came to light. I even tortured the nipples a little by nibbling on them and then licking them apologetically. They were also pinched a little by my fingers.
When his pants finally hit the floor and DD was almost naked in front of me, I had to look at him for a moment before cheekily pushing down his briefs to reveal his manhood.
I started to work on it intensively. With relish, I sucked it into my mouth while rubbing it with my hand. Every now and then I licked DD's belly or testicles so that I could sink his manhood into my mouth again.
I was certainly enjoying it to the full, but I also had in the back of my mind that I still needed a little sleep before my alarm clock would ring way too early again for the double shift.
There was so much to do at the moment anyway that I was getting far too little sleep. But I skillfully ignored the screaming of my bed, because first I wanted to pamper my great love!
*-*-*
Wow, JJ had come off quite nicely and so I was not surprised that he reached his climax a little later. I swallowed what he had just let go of, looked at him and licked my lips lasciviously. I couldn't quite stop myself from grinning cheekily.
To my surprise, JJ now made a move on me. I let it happen and just let myself go. Enjoying, I closed my eyes, felt how he began to undress me? felt the rollercoaster between the slight pain and the pleasure that he gave me.
While one hand clutched in the bed cover, the other wanted to feel JJ, to caress. My mind had already left my body and my head was pressed frantically into the pillows, twisting back and forth, when I felt JJ at my manhood and then an incredibly pleasurable feeling overcame me.
My back was already arched when my hands clawed into the bedspread, so that my knuckles turned white, as the wave of lust and unbridled passion seized me and carried me away.
With an extremely excited and deep, smoky groan, I reached the summit of desire, of insatiable longing, and poured myself into my benefactor's mouth.
Panting, I now had to catch my breath again, because this was undoubtedly the best thing I had ever experienced.
*~*
After waiting for a while, Lee called a taxi, which arrived shortly afterwards and picked him up.
He looked around the place once more, as if he wanted to say goodbye to everything inside. Then he left the apartment, locked the door and threw the key into the mailbox. Then he left the house, got into a cab and went to the airport.
From now on, there would be no turning back. He and DD would probably never see each other again, which almost broke his heart.
*-*-*
Grinning, I swallowed everything that was pumped into my mouth and then lay down tiredly next to DD. Now I was completely finished with the world, I just wanted to go to sleep. But first I drank some more and pulled the blanket over me.
“Do you want to stay here?” I asked DD uncertainly. ”My alarm goes off very early though!”
I would love to snuggle up to him tonight, but on the other hand I would also let him sleep and we could meet tomorrow. In my mind, I was already standing in the doorway with him and couldn't get enough of the goodbye kiss.
*-*-*
After I had recovered a little, I snuggled up to JJ, caressing him tenderly. When he asked me, I just looked at him.
“I think I'd better go home. Lee is probably already home. I don't want him to worry about me. We can meet again some other time, if you like.”
I kissed him gently and lovingly after saying this. I then slowly got up, but first gathered my things together and got dressed. I could still shower at home.
Besides, you need your sleep and so do I,? I said after I had dressed and grinned at him.
*~*
There was chatter about everything under the sun, and yet today was a little different! Today HE was there and if I hadn't warned him about the sharp tongues of my friends, HE would certainly have turned around on the doorstep.
I had met him about two weeks ago. I had just finished cleaning the darkroom. I wanted to take a break outside and almost ran into HIM.
We got to talking and quickly realized that we had a lot in common. The same music, the same movies, similar clothes, the same food, you'd think we were one and the same person.
We were both slim and slightly muscular, had short hair and striking eyes.
I had spent every second of my free time with him in the last two weeks and had fallen deeply in love with him. Surely it hadn't gone unnoticed in the shared flat and now they wanted to finally meet him.
I was a little nervous, because after all, it was a very close friendship between us. We weren't a couple yet, and to be honest, I didn't even know if he was into men at all.
You couldn't necessarily tell that I was gay. After all, I was very heterolike. Still, people suspected it because of my job. I was a partner in three businesses here in the city.
There was a darkroom, an only men's restaurant and an only men's disco. There was always a lot to do and actually my time was much too short for a relationship.
There was a danger that he would meet someone else. That's why I made sure that I really sacrificed every free minute for him.
We had time and it didn't have to come to a relationship immediately. I really enjoyed the harmony and closeness. Small gestures that meant a lot.
For example, when he simply massaged my shoulders because I was once again totally tense. After all, that was his job and he was absolutely great at it. Or when I cheekily just sat on his lap because there was no other place available when we were sitting with his friends.
I was just being myself and it suited me. It didn't come across as a come-on or even as gay.
Nevertheless, I had my thoughts. Was it just friendship for HIM?
*~*
Freshly showered and perfectly styled as always, I was about to fry dinner. The others were already sitting at the table together playing cards.
Crasy, whose real name was Karl, our crazy punk, was sitting at the table with Ben, our quietest member of the group. They were playing cards with Sascha, our emo. The five of us lived in a big house that I had inherited from my parents when I turned eighteen.
Unfortunately, they had passed away early and I had grown up with my uncle, who ran the business. When I came of age, I also became a partner and after training as a hairdresser, which I completed in two years, I started working.
Now I was just twenty-one years old and already fully in the business. Most of the time I ran everything by myself because my uncle had business in another city that he also had to take care of.
Mike, my best friend, was like my big brother. He was the cool biker, a head taller than me and five years older. My watchdog and always there for me when I had problems.
We had it all, really. Mike was totally straight. Sascha was also straight, although he once confessed to me that he wouldn't kick me out of bed. Crazy and Ben were bisexual and I was gay.
I was tired after a double shift and all the paperwork, but I also took care of a lot of the household and cooking.
Mike stood next to me and grinned broadly. Any moment now, the doorbell would ring.
“JJ, take it easy,“ Mike said.
“Micky! Don't be a pain!” I grumbled from the side. My real name was James Jessy, the middle name was my mother's first name, and since I didn't like James and Jessy was too feminine, everyone called me JJ (pronounced in English).
My eyes nervously flicked to the clock, which was ticking ever closer to six o'clock.
*-*-*
I had been back in Germany for about half a year, back from America, where I had completed an internship abroad.
I had taken my best friend Lee, whom I had met in America, with me directly from there, or rather, he had come with me, and we now lived in my large three-room condominium in a kind of shared flat.
Lee Scott was a native American. He was twenty-five years young, 1.85 m tall and of slim, athletic build. He had a big mouth when it came down to it and so fast nobody fooled him. He also didn't put up with anything.
Since he spoke four other languages, French, Japanese, Korean and Italian, perfectly and fluently, in addition to his own, he now worked here as an interpreter.
He was my best friend, my advisor and sometimes also my protector. I could always rely on him.
I had opened my own massage studio here, which was doing very well, and I was the boss. My two employees, Jonas and Roman, had very quickly become very good friends of mine.
I knew from Jonas that he was my age, gay and living with a man. He was quite cheeky, but also very funny, which made me laugh out loud on many occasions.
Roman was a year younger than me and single. He just didn't want a relationship; he found them too exhausting. He was very quiet and studious. But he was good to talk to and a very good listener.
Everything was going well until about two weeks ago when a guy who looked almost exactly like me almost ran into me.
We got along very well very quickly and found that we had some similarities.
With one exception! I was not quite as wired as he and he behaved very strangely to me in part. However, I had no plan what that should and made me no great thoughts about it. So I took it just as it and did it as wired? cute.
My name is Derek Draven, also called DD (English). I am twenty-four years young, have short dark brown hair and steel-blue eyes. Physically I am 1.80 m tall and of slim, slightly muscular build.
For today, JJ, that's the name of my new friend, had invited me to his place at 6 o'clock.
As he thought, I would probably meet the other tenants and they would get to know me. Well, he had already warned me about them? that they were quite critical and had sharp tongues.
Without further ado, I decided to take my best friend Lee with me for support. He had agreed and I was glad not to have to go there alone.
Of course, I had informed JJ via text message that I would be bringing someone with me so that he would not be too surprised.
When I came home from work, Lee was already ready, so only I had to get ready.
I quickly ate a snack, then went to the bathroom, showered, took care of myself and then got dressed in my room. Of course, I styled my hair perfectly, as always, and put on a few accessories. A little perfume and I was ready.
“Shall we go?” I asked my best friend.
“Sure, come on.”
Together we left my apartment, got into the car and I drove to the address given, which was not so hard to find.
We got out of the car, I locked it, then we walked towards the big house, nodded at each other and I pressed the doorbell.
*-*-*
When the bell rang, I pressed the ladle for the pan into Mike's hand and rushed to the door. I was already excited and very nervous as I opened the door.
Then I fell around DD's radiant neck and hugged him, while I shook hands with Lee and grinned at him.
“It's great that you're here,“ I said and kissed both of them on the cheek, close to their lips. It was just my way and I always greeted them like that.
“Come in!” I added and pulled DD along with me by the hand. I squeezed his hand firmly, wanting to show him who my friends were, but also that I was nervous. I knew that he understood me without words.
We then entered the kitchen together and Mike, who had already met both of them, smiled broadly and greeted them by shaking their hands.
The others also introduced themselves politely when we approached the table and shook hands one after the other.
“Why don't you sit down?” I said to Lee and DD, while I let go of DD's hand and went back to my meal.
Crasy looked at DD and whispered something in Ben's ear, who was sitting right next to him: ”No wonder JJ likes him. He's just as cute as he is.”
Then he had to giggle and got a dirty look from me.
Mike, meanwhile, was talking to Lee in another language to improve his French, as he usually did when they met.
Now the meal was ready and I placed the large pan on the table. Plates and cutlery were also handed out.
I sat down on the corner bench, close to DD. It was a bit cramped, but also very cozy with so many people eating.
“Well, then, bon appetit!” I wished and grinned at DD.
The first step had been taken and so far it had gone quite harmlessly. I hoped it would stay that way.
*-*-*
Jeez, as soon as the door opened, I had JJ hanging around my neck, which caused Lee to smirk cheekily, but I just rolled my eyes. How could you be so wound up?
But I didn't want to be so grumpy and I also gave him a short hug, but immediately let go of him again.
“I'm also happy to be here,” I replied to JJ's greeting in my very deep but gentle voice.
And as if that wasn't enough, JJ now also took me by the hand and led me to the kitchen to the others, where we greeted the others. Lee followed us obediently.
We greeted the others and shortly after Lee was taken over by Mike, both talked in French, of which I did not understand too much.
I checked out the situation here first, before I joined the action. However, I looked again and again slightly jealous to Lee and Mike, because Lee seemed, as always when we met, to get along very well with Mike.
I didn't say too much at the moment though.
So I began to regret that I had brought Lee with me. He was my friend, not Mike's! I couldn't take my eyes off the two of them, and I was almost afraid of missing something.
However, I was repeatedly distracted by JJ. My jealousy remained and I could hardly hide it. Crazy Ben had whispered something in his ear and had to laugh. However, I didn't quite understand the reason, because my thoughts were somewhere else – with Lee and this “Mike”.
I tried not to let it show too much, but I only succeeded to a limited extent. I would certainly have a word with Lee afterwards. Finally the meal was served and we sat down. It was very cramped, but it worked. JJ was sitting on one side and Lee was sitting next to me on the other.
I nodded when JJ wished us all bon appétit, as did Ben, Sascha, everyone else, and my Lee. But since I had already eaten at home, I didn't take too much of the food and allowed myself plenty of time before I slowly began to eat.
Again and again I looked at everyone in turn, my gaze repeatedly lingering on Lee and Mike.
*-*-*
I only had eyes for DD. I didn't really notice that he looked at Lee more than at me. My rose-colored glasses fit perfectly and couldn't really be taken off. The fact that Mike and Lee got along so well made me wonder. I could have sworn that Mike was more than straight. But as the saying goes: Everyone is a bit bi!
The meal was quickly consumed and while I was still clearing up, the cards were already being shuffled for a new game.
“But JJ isn't playing!” I heard Crazy say. He knew exactly how well I could play and that I always won.
I cheekily stuck out my tongue at him: ”I'm still busy anyway!”
First of all, I had to do the dishes and, as always, no one helped. They were all lazy; even Mike was much too busy with Lee.
*-*-*
The meal had tasted really good, even though I couldn't get much down. Of course, I had also noticed how JJ kept looking at me, but I was only concerned with my jealousy and watched Lee and Mike closely.
After dinner, the others wanted to play cards, but I didn't feel like it at all. My eyes were more or less glued to my best friend.
To distract myself a little, I helped JJ clean up and do the dishes. But I didn't talk; my thoughts were somewhere else anyway.
They all seemed very nice, at least as far as I could tell so far. Only Mike was a thorn in my side.
*~*
In the meantime, Lee had noticed that DD wasn't talking as much as usual and that something seemed to be very wrong with him. So he excused himself briefly to Mike and went over to DD.
“DD, would you come with me, please? I think we need to talk.”
DD nodded and went with Lee briefly before the door.
*-*-*
I was totally glad that DD helped me with the clearing up. He understood me without words, which is why we didn't speak. A smile or nod was enough and everything was fine. However, when Lee took DD away from me, I didn't understand the world anymore.
Something was not right here. Mike came over to me and helped me with the dishes, after Lee had of course said that it was totally okay if he went out briefly. Lost in thought, I fished around in the dishwater.
“Are you going to catch something today?” Mike joked.
“Micky!“ I scolded and kept looking at the door.
“Lee won't eat DD and will surely bring him back to you in one piece,” Mike winked at me.
A sigh escaped my lips and I took a dirty plate and washed it clean.
*-*-*
Once outside, Lee looked me in the eye and asked:
DD, what's the matter with you, hm??
Nothing, what should be the matter??
Yes, you think I didn't notice that something is wrong with you? You hardly talk, constantly look at Mike and me. So, do you want to talk to me??
What should I tell you? It's nothing.?
Why are you lying to me, hm??
I looked at Lee first, then I looked at the floor.
I was just thinking, but it wasn't anything bad.
Oh, and that's why you kept looking over at us?
Um, it wasn't intentional, I promise, I tried to talk my way out of it.
Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time, but please change that. I mean, JJ is your friend and the others here are really nice too and they don't deserve for you to keep to yourself, okay?”
“Okay,” I replied, and then Lee took me in his arms and I snuggled up against him a little, but only briefly, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.
We went back inside and I tried my best not to let anything show on my face.
*-*-*
Finally they came back inside and Mike went out on the terrace for a smoke. I finished the dishes and put everything away in the cupboards.
“Do you want to get some fresh air too?” I asked DD, looking him directly in the eye.
I would have loved to drag him upstairs with me, where we would have been alone, without the others. But that would have been a bit stupid. Tired, I had to rub my eyes; the double shift was making itself felt.
“DD, you should let JJ sleep at night sometime,” Crazy said cheekily, and I just looked at DD, shaking my head.
Luckily I had warned him, otherwise he might have thought who knows what.
*-*-*
While Lee sat down at the table with the others and played cards with them, I nodded in agreement to JJ.
“Okay, let's get some fresh air,” I answered his question.
I grinned at Crazy's comment and replied,
“Let's see what can be done.” and looked him cheekily in the eye before I caught JJ's gaze and knew what he was trying to tell me.
Of course it was just a joke on my part and I thought to myself that it was just a joke from Crasy too. After all, my heart only beat for Lee, but he didn't know that and I would never be able to tell him. So I would continue to torture myself, and the fact that we lived under the same roof unfortunately didn't make things any better.
JJ was a very good friend to me, a bit eccentric, but somehow cute and very handsome, and he had incredibly beautiful eyes. If I hadn't been so infatuated with Lee, JJ would have been right up my street.
And maybe? hmm? no? I quickly dismissed the thought? didn't even think it through.
Finally, I went out with JJ and enjoyed the fresh, clear air?
*-*-*
Once outside, Mike quickly finished his cigarette and rejoined the others, sitting down next to Lee. Somehow there was something wrong with DD, because whenever he was with Lee, it was somehow weird.
Do you want to talk about it?, I asked, because I noticed that something was bothering you.
I looked DD directly in the eye, unsure of myself. I wanted him to know that he could trust me completely. I lovingly put my hand on his upper arm as a small gesture. I was always tormented when DD wasn't feeling well, and I wanted certainty. Things were going very well between us and I was enjoying it. It could stay that way for a while.
After years of changing men like my underwear, I was now very sure that I finally wanted something permanent.
*-*-*
I listened to JJ and thought about it. However, I somehow couldn't really open up.
“Nothing's bothering me. It just seems that way, don't worry. If something were wrong, I would tell you,” I replied, lying to myself once again and to my friend on top of that.
I didn't know exactly whether I could trust JJ; I hadn't known him that long, after all. I knew that he wouldn't say anything to Lee, but I just couldn't really confide in him yet.
His hand on my upper arm felt good and somehow he made me feel like I could trust him... but then what? Should I really dare?
? Alright, you want to know?. Okay, I just lied to you and to myself? it's because of? Lee? I love him, you see. But I can't tell him? I can't. He's the best friend I've ever had. He's my advisor? and sometimes also my protector. But I can't tell him that I love him? I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. But he must never know, and he never will,? I explained to JJ, lowering my head.
What would JJ think of me now? My insecurity grew? now that I had practically come out.
*-*-*
Suddenly my soap bubble burst and everything fell off my face. I had expected everything under the sun, but not that!
I would have loved to write, cry, rage, whatever, to let off steam. But I remained calm and didn't show anything.
I quickly wiped away a tear where DD was still looking at the ground and leaned with my arms crossed against the small stone wall that was in front of us. I looked out into the distance, let my gaze wander.
“I understand you. That's really difficult!” I replied to him. My voice was very calm, maybe even more composed than usual and very serious.
But you mean a lot to him, too, that's clear. If you want my advice, don't hide it any longer. If you wait too long, someone else might snatch him up!” I added after a pause, putting a lot of feeling into the words.
Why had I remained silent? Had I remained silent the whole time? Maybe I had sensed it? Now I didn't want to say it anymore. At least not at that moment. Maybe sometime?
Now I looked DD directly in the face, put on a mask, smiled at him.
“He won't find out from me! You'll have to do it yourself! Dare to do it!”, I advised him.
He should be happy and get what he longed for.
If you never dare, how will you know? And even if he doesn't return your love, which I don't think he will, you've been friends for so long that you should be able to handle it! I added before looking out into the distance again and enjoying the fresh air.
*-*-*
While JJ was talking, I shook my head negatively. But I listened to the end of what he said and advised me. Then I replied in a calm voice.
“No, no, I can't do that. I want him to be happy and I don't want to stand in his way. I guess I'll stay alone.”
Of course, I noticed how calm JJ suddenly became, and I realized that something was not quite right with him either. So I leaned against the wall, right next to him. I looked at him, then I looked into the distance.
Would you like to tell me what's bothering you, too? I can tell that you have something on your mind, too. I mean, we're friends and I just opened up to you, too. I'd like to listen to you, too, I offered.
I couldn't know what was really going on with him, but I wanted to at least listen to him, if he would let me.
*-*-*
As if by itself, I leaned my head on his shoulder and enjoyed the closeness he gave me.
“I just want you to be happy! You're putting obstacles in your own way!” I answered him.
There was no other way, because I couldn't tell him yet. Instead, I just enjoyed his closeness and security.
“Besides, I'm pretty exhausted from today,” I added, yawning.
Then I stretched and yanked myself. It had cooled down a bit by now and I looked at DD questioningly.
“Do you want to go back inside?”
*-*-*
Hm? What more could I say? Nevertheless, I sensed that something was bothering him, but I didn't press the issue, not wanting to harass him.
Besides, it felt nice to have him leaning against me and seemingly enjoying it.
“I understand you. Go ahead, I would like to stay here a little longer, if it's okay,“ I replied calmly.
“I think we'll go home soon, too,” I added quietly.
Then I looked further into the distance and a few small tears ran down my face, but I hid my face from JJ, didn't want him to have to worry.
*-*-*
Then I'll stay too!, I decided. However, I didn't look at DD, but further into the distance.
I let my head rest on his shoulder, really enjoying it. Then I just kept quiet and looked at the sky. Slowly it began to dawn and you could see the first bats.
A magnificent natural spectacle presented itself to us and I was glad that he was there. It's a shame that his heart already belonged to someone else. Still, I wanted to take all I could get, even if it was just to be near him.
*-*-*
I just nodded in agreement and enjoyed him leaning against me. Still, the tears would not stop. I was in agony as I stared ahead and wished I could just disappear, which of course wasn't possible.
Finally I wiped the tears away as if they were pesky flies and pulled myself together.
*~*
Meanwhile, Lee realized that DD had been gone for quite a while and asked around.
“Say, do you know where DD disappeared to?”
“I think he's outside with JJ. I'm not sure though.”
“Hm? Yes, thank you. I'll go take a look,” said Lee, and got up.
Sascha then said:
“Well, leave them alone, maybe they have something important to discuss.“ and had to grin a little.
Lee looked at Sascha a little aghast? slightly confused?
“Well, if you think so,” he replied, but had his own thoughts about it and would probably have to talk to him later when they got home.
But for now, he acted completely normal, just like he always was.
*-*-*
Mike grinned at Lee and then said in French: 'Tell me you haven't noticed the spark between the two of them yet?
He felt it was clear that something was going on between DD and JJ. Just like everyone else seemed to notice.
*~*
Outside I still enjoyed DD's presence, but I noticed that something was wrong. However, I remained silent.
“We could also go up to my room and listen to some music,” it occurred to me. Somehow I wanted to be alone with him, but it was very uncomfortable outside. For some reason, I also wanted to hold him and just hold on to him.
Maybe I was afraid of losing him?
*-*-*
Lee now started to laugh, after Mike's words.
“You don't seriously believe that DD wants something from JJ, do you? I don't? Honestly, I can't imagine it,” he replied, also in French.
In fact, he couldn't imagine it, because he didn't know that his friend was gay. He had never noticed anything like that about him, but now he was already worrying about it.
*~*
At JJ's suggestion to go to his room, I nodded in agreement, because it was also slowly becoming too uncomfortable and a bit too cold for me there.
'Well, let's go to your room,' I said quietly and with a reasonably calm voice.
I risked another look into the distance, then I turned to JJ and smiled gently at him, while I looked him directly in the eyes.
Somehow I felt alone and quite lonely at the moment, even though it wasn't the case. The initial joy of being here had now turned to sadness.
*-*-*
Mike grinned even wider and remained silent. He now devoted his attention to the cards and left it at his statement.
Maybe he was wrong and the crackling was just JJ who had gone out? Lee knew DD very well and what if he was right?
*~*
I just hugged DD so intensely, I didn't want to let go of him at all. But then I did and pulled him by the hand to the next door, so that we didn't have to go through the kitchen. Then I snuck up the stairs with him, all the way up to my room.
I left the light dim and turned on some music. My room was small but cozy. The only place to sit was on my bed, but that was just as well. I got something to drink from a mini-fridge and poured DD a drink, and one for myself.
There were lots of cushions on the bed, so I just sat down in the middle of them and made myself comfortable. I would have liked to just fool around with him like I usually did and forget everything that had just happened. But somehow I couldn't.
There was a strange mood in the air and I had to overcome that first. On the other hand, I longed to just hug him again and comfort him a little.
*-*-*
Lee also went back to playing cards and didn't show anything, which he was very good at. He was so good at repressing feelings that he seemed like an iceberg, which he truly wasn't.
But on the outside, he could appear as if he was, and that's exactly what he did at that moment.
Nobody could see behind his facade, he would never allow that!
*~*
“Thank you,” I whispered to JJ, as he gave me something to drink, and I took the glass in my hand.
At first I just looked into the glass, watched the liquid a little, how beautifully it was reflected. I almost began to dream. JJ had made himself comfortable on the pillows, but I didn't dare to do that, I just sat there and didn't know what to say.
The mood and the tension between us was almost unbearable for me, who was actually an emotional person. I took a deep breath in and out? and finally burst into tears after all? I didn't want to, but I just couldn't stop it anymore? the tears just ran down my eyes? then dripped quietly and lonely to the ground.
*-*-*
Wow, hey?, I said, startled. I quickly put my glass down and took DD's in my hands too, put it away.
Then I just took him in my arms and let myself fall back into the pillows with him.
“Shhh? It's okay,” I tried to calm him down and gently stroked his back. It almost broke my heart to see him like this, and I was overcome.
Very gently and lovingly, I began to kiss away his tears, one by one. I don't know if it was the mood here, the music, the dim light, but I just couldn't control myself anymore.
I just wanted to comfort DD and show him how much I liked him.
*~*
Meanwhile the others continued playing cards and didn't even realize what was going on upstairs.
They drank, laughed and talked about everything under the sun. Lee was just part of it, as if he sat with them every evening.
*-*-*
Keeping his poker face, Lee won one game after the other. But his facial expression didn't change at all. He came across as ice-cold, although he did give a brief grin every now and then, but that was it.
He felt quite comfortable here, but he wanted to go home again at some point, because he was slowly getting a little tired too. Besides, he had already had quite a bit to drink, which made him even more tired now and he could hardly keep his eyes open anymore.
*~*
Just then, I was overcome by sadness, and I couldn't stand the tension and this depressed mood any longer. I cried when JJ paid attention to me, hugged me and fell into the pillows with me.
He began to kiss away my tears and I just let it happen, as if there were no tomorrow. Suddenly it seemed as if I couldn't get enough of him, as if that was what I wanted, but was it really?
I let myself go, gave myself to him, and now I knew what he felt, sensed what had been oppressing him, and that he was probably gay too, like me. And I now also sensed what he very likely felt for me.
Because it was also clear to me that you don't try to comfort a friend with kisses and certainly not with kisses like that. Nevertheless, I now looked at him very surprised and with wide eyes, from which tears were still running, as if they had only aimed to be kissed away by him.
Fully aware of what he was doing and what I was allowing, I broke away from him and still looked at him wide-eyed and scrutinizingly, almost skeptically. With a voice choked with tears, but still very calm, I asked him:
What are you doing to me? What's the point of this? What would you do if I left you? What exactly do you feel for me? Talk to me, please! Tell me what's going on!
Sure, there were a lot of questions that I bombarded him with, but I wanted answers from him now! Even though I already suspected what was going on, I just wanted confirmation from him.
I wouldn't have been quiet before anyway.
*-*-*
Mike was happy for Lee that he had such a good hand. Nevertheless, he was also slowly getting tired and he would certainly not last much longer. Yawning, he broke away from the group and went for a smoke again.
*~*
I looked at DD, feeling depressed. Now I had given myself away.
You've got me there, I guess? No? I know that I've fallen in love with you. Only after you told me that you were in love with Lee, it was almost impossible for me to tell you, I explained.
Now I took my hands and wiped away his tears, I couldn't bear to see him like this.
*-*-*
Now?. yes, now I realized a lot, but he had now only confirmed what I had suspected anyway.
“I thought so,” I heard myself say and looked lovingly at JJ.
Oh dear, JJ, I'm so sorry. You feel the same as I do. We could actually team up on this, couldn't we?, I continued, enjoying his hands lovingly wiping away my tears from my face.
I moved up a little closer to him, took him in my arms and gently pressed him against me.
“Forgive me? I'm sorry. I like you, really, and actually you're totally my type. You're so sweet? a bit wound up? but totally cute. JJ, please give me a little time, okay. It's all a bit much at the moment,” I whispered, gently stroking his back.
I felt so sorry for him, because he felt the same way about me as I did about Lee.
*~*
Lee was now starting to yawn and said, “Well, I'll go see what's keeping DD. We should go home soon.”
Then he got up and went outside, hoping to find DD there.
*-*-*
“It's okay! I wanted to take my time anyway,” I said calmly, enjoying his embrace.
I just held him and stroked his back, enjoying the warmth he radiated.
“Everything's okay, don't worry about it. With all the work I have, I can't worry about anything anyway,” I added.
It was nice just to lie there with him and he hadn't rejected me, that felt really good. I had more than enough time.
*~*
Mike grinned at Lee: “Well, you're looking for DD? They're probably up in JJ's room! Come on, let's go see if we're disturbing anyone?”
Then he went up quietly with Lee and listened at the door first. Except for a little music, nothing could be heard, so he knocked tentatively.
*-*-*
I can't express how much I enjoyed this moment with JJ. I snuggled up to him, then I couldn't control myself anymore and just did what my heart told me to do... I looked lovingly into his eyes and began to kiss him tenderly.
I didn't hear the knocking at the door, did I? Did JJ not want to let go? As if he had taken me prisoner? Just like that.
All of a sudden, I felt so safe and loved with JJ. Was it him I had been missing all this time?
*~*
Lee had just nodded at Mike and had gone with him to JJ's room. He too listened at the door after Mike had knocked.
But he couldn't hear anything either, except for the soft music, but spoke through the door.
“DD?” ”DD, come on, open the door. I want to go home slowly.”
But still nothing happened.
'Well, I'll just go home alone then, if you don't want to come with me,' Lee said, and went back downstairs.
*-*-*
I was only too happy to return the intense kiss that DD gave me and didn't even notice the knocking. I didn't care about anything at the moment, I just wanted to enjoy the moment and gave myself completely.
Meanwhile Mike called after Lee to wait and just opened the door. What he saw then made him grin and he nodded to Lee, beckoning him back.
“Didn't I tell you!” he said quietly, pointing at us.
We were lying on the bed, tightly wrapped around each other, making out like there was no tomorrow, and we didn't even notice what was going on around us.
*-*-*
Lee actually saw the two of them lying in bed and making out? he would never have thought that. He shook his head at first, but didn't say anything. With a raised eyebrow, he looked at Mike.
“Thanks, that's enough,” which almost sounded a little jealous.
He then turned around, ran down the stairs and left the house, slightly angry and almost fleeing. It wasn't intentional that he hadn't said goodbye to anyone, he just wanted to get out of there.
*~*
I hadn't noticed the door opening, I just wanted to be with him at the moment... with JJ. A little shyly, I stroked his lips and asked for admission. Suddenly I couldn't let go of him anymore, held him tight in my arms and sent my hands wandering over his beautiful body... closing my eyes with relish.
*-*-*
Mike thought his part and would tell it later to the two, now he closed the door quietly and went to bed himself.
*~*
I hadn't noticed any of that either. My lips were much too busy with DD's and my hands were also caressing his body. At first still quite shy, since I could hardly believe it, then increasingly more forceful and aroused, I went forward.
I welcomed his tongue in my mouth and teased it directly with mine. I gave a blissful sigh into his mouth and could hardly contain myself. I was so glad that this was happening and I enjoyed it so much.
*-*-*
Lee had taken a taxi home and then angrily slammed the door shut.
He locked himself in his room and raged verbally. When he finally wanted to go to sleep, he couldn't fall asleep because he was too preoccupied with what he had seen.
He was jealous because he would have liked to be in JJ's place. He felt the same way as DD, who hadn't dared to tell him how he felt. Lee hadn't been able to either? hadn't dared.
So now it seemed as if he was the loser. Should he dare to talk to DD later? He wasn't sure.
*~*
I sensed that JJ wanted a little more? I wasn't averse either. So I continued to kiss him passionately for quite a while, but now I let my hands wander under his clothes and began to caress his naked skin. I pushed up his shirt and kissed my way down his body, leaving a wet trail on his skin with my tongue. I did everything extremely slowly, wanting to savor it, wanting to “eat” him.
Slowly, I began to undress him, exposing his body piece by piece. I drew fine lines on his body with my fingers and tickled him with my tongue. I no longer had myself under control.
Finally, I arrived at his waistband, first just unbuttoning the button, then sinking my tongue into his belly button while opening his trousers completely.
Very slowly and with relish, I took off his trousers, but still left his hands in his briefs. But my right hand was particularly inquisitive and felt the need to slide into his briefs and caress the sensitive skin there, while my mouth soaked through his briefs and explored his manhood through them.
Meanwhile, it was already quite tight in my pants, I could hardly control myself anymore.
*-*-*
I let out a soft hum, otherwise I was more of the quiet type during sex and just enjoyed it. Even now I just let myself go and go. My manhood had already straightened up and filled my panties completely. The glans was even already perky and wanted to come out at the side.
His hand in my panties drove me crazy and his mouth drove me crazy. It was as if my panties were on fire. Everything felt so incredibly horny, as if I were trapped in a dream from which I never wanted to wake up.
I gently ruffled DD's hair and pressed him harder against my stomach.
*-*-*
Smiling to myself, I noticed how much it excited JJ what I was doing. And I continued with what I was doing.
I noticed the tip emerging at the side and my tongue was cheeky enough to gently lick the glans, then let go of JJ briefly, freeing him from the last bit of fabric, so that he now lay naked before me and I caressed him while looking at him.
Again I bent down, lay down between his legs and began to satisfy him orally. I kissed the glans, licked the length of the penis and then took it briefly into my mouth, but let it slide out again immediately.
I did this again and again until I took it all into my mouth and began to suck. I didn't ignore his testicles either, which I also licked from time to time or massaged.
*~*
Meanwhile, Lee decided that since DD was somehow not coming home, he would travel back to his home country and he would not come back. He turned on his notebook and booked a ticket to America, more precisely to Miami, then he packed his things because he no longer had any business here.
Of course, he would probably have to talk to DD first, but what would be the point? He loved DD, who didn't know this, and he seemed to have lost out to JJ anyway.
Once his things were packed, he wrote DD another letter. In the letter, he revealed his feelings and disappointment to his “friend” that he seemed to have lost out to JJ. He also wrote that he had traveled back to Miami and would not be coming back.
He signed the letter with his name, then waited a moment before finally leaving the apartment for good. Tears ran down his cheeks? tears of unrequited love? of disappointment.
*-*-*
When DD now gave me oral sex, I began to toss my head wildly from side to side. Nevertheless, I remained calm, even though it was damn nice what he was doing to me. I had had so much sex before, but this time it was different. I had never been so much in love and so I couldn't control myself when it suddenly came to me.
I actually wanted to warn DD, but it happened so fast. Apologizing, I stroked his cheek and let the great feeling linger for a moment. Then I turned the tables. Pushing DD into the pillows, I grinned broadly.
Piece of clothing after piece of clothing fell to the floor, while I kissed and licked every inch of naked flesh that came to light. I even tortured the nipples a little by nibbling on them and then licking them apologetically. They were also pinched a little by my fingers.
When his pants finally hit the floor and DD was almost naked in front of me, I had to look at him for a moment before cheekily pushing down his briefs to reveal his manhood.
I started to work on it intensively. With relish, I sucked it into my mouth while rubbing it with my hand. Every now and then I licked DD's belly or testicles so that I could sink his manhood into my mouth again.
I was certainly enjoying it to the full, but I also had in the back of my mind that I still needed a little sleep before my alarm clock would ring way too early again for the double shift.
There was so much to do at the moment anyway that I was getting far too little sleep. But I skillfully ignored the screaming of my bed, because first I wanted to pamper my great love!
*-*-*
Wow, JJ had come off quite nicely and so I was not surprised that he reached his climax a little later. I swallowed what he had just let go of, looked at him and licked my lips lasciviously. I couldn't quite stop myself from grinning cheekily.
To my surprise, JJ now made a move on me. I let it happen and just let myself go. Enjoying, I closed my eyes, felt how he began to undress me? felt the rollercoaster between the slight pain and the pleasure that he gave me.
While one hand clutched in the bed cover, the other wanted to feel JJ, to caress. My mind had already left my body and my head was pressed frantically into the pillows, twisting back and forth, when I felt JJ at my manhood and then an incredibly pleasurable feeling overcame me.
My back was already arched when my hands clawed into the bedspread, so that my knuckles turned white, as the wave of lust and unbridled passion seized me and carried me away.
With an extremely excited and deep, smoky groan, I reached the summit of desire, of insatiable longing, and poured myself into my benefactor's mouth.
Panting, I now had to catch my breath again, because this was undoubtedly the best thing I had ever experienced.
*~*
After waiting for a while, Lee called a taxi, which arrived shortly afterwards and picked him up.
He looked around the place once more, as if he wanted to say goodbye to everything inside. Then he left the apartment, locked the door and threw the key into the mailbox. Then he left the house, got into a cab and went to the airport.
From now on, there would be no turning back. He and DD would probably never see each other again, which almost broke his heart.
*-*-*
Grinning, I swallowed everything that was pumped into my mouth and then lay down tiredly next to DD. Now I was completely finished with the world, I just wanted to go to sleep. But first I drank some more and pulled the blanket over me.
“Do you want to stay here?” I asked DD uncertainly. ”My alarm goes off very early though!”
I would love to snuggle up to him tonight, but on the other hand I would also let him sleep and we could meet tomorrow. In my mind, I was already standing in the doorway with him and couldn't get enough of the goodbye kiss.
*-*-*
After I had recovered a little, I snuggled up to JJ, caressing him tenderly. When he asked me, I just looked at him.
“I think I'd better go home. Lee is probably already home. I don't want him to worry about me. We can meet again some other time, if you like.”
I kissed him gently and lovingly after saying this. I then slowly got up, but first gathered my things together and got dressed. I could still shower at home.
Besides, you need your sleep and so do I,? I said after I had dressed and grinned at him.
*~*