2025-07-11, 04:51 PM
Morning dew
Splash.
Oh, shouting, barking, uproar.
Dennis shook his head, the helmet had slipped and sat crookedly on his brown hair. Tiffy, the Jack Russell terrier, was jumping on him, barking. What had just happened, he thought and looked from his unwanted sitting position in disbelief at the spectator stand.
Some people had stood up and were looking in his direction, mouths half open. When Dennis realized his misfortune, he just let himself fall into the mud. It didn't matter anymore anyway. At that moment, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. He closed his eyes. Anger arose, rage.
All over. Finished. His last chance gone. Before the medic was with him, the last few weeks quickly passed before his mind's eye. He had rarely had so much bad luck in his 19 years of life. Bad luck or misfortune? Fate? He couldn't separate them.
“Are you okay?“ one of the medics asked, kneeling down next to Dennis on the ground, which had been soaked by the rain of the last few days.
“My shoulder,” he replied quietly. He couldn't say what hurt more: having lost this tournament or the pain.
The medic had barely touched the spot when Dennis cried out.
“Ouch.”
Could be your collarbone. Any other pain?
Dennis shook his head and now felt tears in his eyes.
Can you stand up?
Dennis knew the medic meant well, but it was all terribly embarrassing for him. Everyone was still staring at him, someone was shouting something through the loudspeakers, and Dennis didn't even try to understand the echoing words.
He still caught the name, but he really didn't want to hear the rest. That he had been eliminated, that his arch-enemy Ralf had won first place in the riding competition. It had all looked so good that morning.
Billy, Dennis Kohlfuchs and only friend, was in a good mood, didn't act up and trotted to the arena very well-behaved. All the disciplines went very well, some people called his name and cheered him on.
But then there was a loud bang. It came from somewhere and was loud and sharp. Billy reared up so fast that Dennis couldn't react. Seconds later he fell out of the saddle and landed on the ground.
Resigned, Dennis let himself be led away by the medic. The right shoulder, of all things. If the collarbone was broken, he could expect not to be able to write for a while. And at a time when the final exam of his apprenticeship was due.
He didn't want to think about what that would mean. Is it possible to have that much bad luck? First his father had run off with the company secretary, then his car broke down and finally Stefan, his best friend from school days, moved away from the city.
And now this. He looked over at Billy, who was being led from the square by a jury member. The proud cabbage fox couldn't help it after all, blaming him was the last thing on Dennis' mind. Only if he caught the one who was responsible for this, he would turn his throat with just one hand.
Encouraging words were whispered to him as the medic accompanied him through the crowd. Dennis didn't dare to look them in the eye, least of all his sister or even his mother, who were definitely nearby. Meeting them soon was inevitable anyway, but he would have preferred to do without it.
He bravely trudged out of the paddock, his eyes fixed on the ground. Suddenly the medic stopped and Dennis saw him in front of him. Ralf, his rival, was standing in front of them. He just didn't like Dennis, but that only manifested itself in the fact that he actually avoided him permanently.
Ralf was already in the club when Dennis joined three years ago. His sister had often taken him with her and at some point he was sitting on Billy's back and taking his first riding attempts.
He enjoyed it, went more and more often and it turned out that he was born for this sport. But there was Ralf, who didn't treat him with mistrust from the start.
At first glance, the boy, who was about his age, wasn't so unpleasant. In the beginning, they often sat in the riders' room and talked, and even found other interests in common.
Over time, however, Dennis felt affection for him. His penchant for pretty boys was not new, but one evening, as they sat together again, Dennis sensed that there was more than just a beginning friendship. He realized that he was falling in love with Ralf. He kept his homosexuality a secret at all costs and nobody around him noticed his secret passion.
Dennis began to brood more and more often when they were together. Ralf didn't have a girlfriend, as he found out, and otherwise seemed to have little interest in anything other than sports.
Then the first tournaments began and Dennis got better and better, until he finally won one first prize after another. From then on, Ralf distanced himself more and more from him, until he finally avoided him completely.
Dennis was more than unhappy about this, and at first he tried to make Ralf understand that it was nothing personal, but he could hardly get through to him. He had actually hoped that Ralf would pay more attention to him as a result, but that was obviously a fallacy. Finally, he came to terms with the fact that Ralf was not what he had secretly hoped for. Of course he would never have gotten too close to him, but just his mere presence or talking to him was pure joy for him.
That was when he joined Mirko. He was anything but his type, but at least he was smart, decent. Almost a head shorter than him, reddish blonde hair, freckles and he came from a rich family. Not only of money, but also of children. Mirko had four siblings, all girls. But they were younger than Mirko, and he was only 17.
Their eyes met. Ralf had beautiful brown eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Was he smiling? Or was it schadenfreude? Probably the latter. Understandable, even though he had emerged as the victor. Won the most important tournament of the year. Dennis was ashamed, also because of his appearance. Totally filthy from the mud, he must have looked like a real wretch.
“Well, tough luck, eh?”
Tears welled up in Dennis' eyes again. Not because of the words, but because he said them, he, his secret love, still.
Seems so, he murmured almost inaudibly. Wouldn't he have rather hit him now? He didn't know what to think or say anymore. It didn't matter to him either, the pain in his shoulder was now beginning to get the upper hand.
Without looking up again, he ran past Ralf, their shoulders touching because Ralf didn't move out of the way.
“Child, are you badly hurt?“ his mother asked, suddenly standing next to him, followed by his sister Anni.
“No, I don't think so,” he replied morosely and got into the ambulance. He lay down on the stretcher without being asked and let the paramedic strap him in.
“We're going to St. Elisabeth's Hospital,” he said only to Dennis' mother, mother and closed the door. Dennis could still hear them discussing outside, presumably they wanted a ride. He didn't mind, even though it wasn't usually allowed; he wanted to be alone. Alone with himself and his misery. Now the tears came fully and he began to sob as the ambulance set in motion and drove at a moderate pace from the premises.
The procedure at the hospital took a long time. X-rays were taken of all possible parts of the body for possible injuries. Fortunately, the collarbone was only broken, but he still had to walk around with a support bandage for a few weeks.
His mother picked him up from the hospital late that afternoon and, in an attempt to cheer him up, took him for an ice cream in town. Dennis didn't mind; he didn't resist, but he wasn't thrilled either.
“Now just accept it, Dennis. There's nothing you can do about any of this, and it wasn't anyone's fault. At least not you and Billy's. They said they would find out who fired the shot, because they suspect that it was done on purpose. But even if they don't find him, it wasn't the end of the world, after all,” his mother said, digging into her ice cream sundae.
Dennis just nodded; she was right. Still, it annoyed him, and the thing with Ralf bothered him even more.
When he arrived home, he lay down on the bed and brooded. Again and again, he tried to convince himself that things would get better, knowing that he was allowed to take his exams after his mother had phoned the company.
He could also ride again, someday. But Ralf wouldn't get out of his head. That handsome guy who had such charisma that he couldn't escape. The blond, tousled hair, the slender body, which, wrapped in the riding gear, was so incredibly attractive to him. The cute bottom... Dennis groaned. He would have given anything to be allowed to have Ralf as a real friend. But something or someone was apparently against it.
Just as he was falling asleep, there was a knock at the door.
“Dennis, can I come in?”
Overcome with sleep, he sat up halfway. That voice belonged to Sandra, a good friend from the neighborhood. He liked her because she was so uncomplicated and unfortunately she had already hinted that she liked him very much. He always hoped that when they were together she wouldn't make any advances. But he suspected that eventually it would come to that. Then he had no choice but to come out of the closet, as much as he resisted outing himself to anyone.
“Yes, come in,” he called, and she was already standing by his bedside, holding a huge box of chocolates.
“Hello, unlucky you. How are you?”
He smiled painfully.
“Don't ask.”
“Oh, don't be such a frog. You'll be fine and then you can really show Ralf.”
Ralf. The name stung in his heart.
“If possible, please don't mention him in my presence for the foreseeable future.”
“Oh, but he didn't do anything to you.”
“Do you think?” he thought to himself.
“He broke my heart, which is worse than any injury to any body part.”
“Tell me, why don't you two get along?” ”In the beginning?”
“Please, Sandra, let's talk about something else.”
Without asking, she sat down on his bed and ran her fingers through his thick, dark brown hair.
“Well, I'm sorry, I'd really like to know what's between you. It's not right. I think it's great when you guys beat the others at other tournaments. It should be...
Dennis wiped his eyes.
“Are you in a lot of pain?” she interrupted her remarks.
He looked at his fingers and sensed that the time had come. She had to, she could and she should know, because it would come out eventually. And he knew her well enough to know that she could keep quiet. It was possible that she would then no longer want to have anything to do with him, but he just had to take that risk.
“Sandra, I have a problem...”
She looked at him, but rather calmly.
“Come on, spit it out.”
“It's not that easy,“ he mumbled, boring his eyes into the carpet.
“Otherwise it wouldn't be a problem, right?”
“Yeah, well... So the thing with Ralf...”
“Yes?” “Did he do something to you?”
“Basically, yes.”
Her eyes widened and she moved a bit away from him to get a better look at him.
“Well, come on, what's going on?”
“I've... I've fallen in love with him.”
He wanted to say more, but it was hard for him to find the right words now. Basically, everything was out. That was all there needed to be. He looked at her now and waited for her reaction.
Sandra let the air out of her lungs.
Oh, I see. I thought he had something to do with your accident.
Dennis looked up abruptly, directly into her eyes. He hadn't considered that at all. Of course. Ralf was already three runs ahead of him, he had plenty of time to leave the area and make the bang.
At exactly the right moment. It could only have been him. Anger suddenly overwhelmed him. He wanted to get to him, right now, on the spot. But words penetrated his ears and he calmed down. At least on the surface.
“And that's all you have to say about it?”
“That you're gay?” What can I say about that? It's not your fault. Of course I could have imagined something different, but as far as I know, there's nothing I can do about it. It's just stupid that Ralf... or is he too?
Dennis squinted at the sunlight shining into his room.
I don't know. He doesn't have a girlfriend, I know that. But that's all I know.
Then be careful. If he finds out and doesn't like gays, it could quickly go wrong. He knows a lot of important people in the club and...
Yes, yes, he interrupted her, I'll behave quietly. I wanted... no, I had to talk to someone about it now.
And that's with me. It's kind of an honor for me, even if I now have to bury my hopes in you.
She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“Well, now I have to go, Stefanie wants to go to the movies with me. Or are you coming too?”
He shook his head smiling.
“That's sweet of you, but I need to think. Another time would be nice. And thanks for listening to me. And for not letting me sit there?”
She grinned under the door, winked at him and gave him a thumbs-up.
“It'll be fine, no problem.”
Dennis flopped down on his pillows and shortly afterwards felt the reason for his being in his room in this weather. The pain shot through him like a dagger.
“Damn,” he cursed, and thought again about whether Ralf could really have something to do with all of this.
The days passed without anything exciting happening. Dennis' shoulder was getting better every day, and finally he was able to write again. But none of this satisfied him. He wanted to ride again. He wanted to get back on his horse, which he visited every day.
He had only seen Ralf a few times, but they didn't look at each other. It seemed to Dennis like two strangers, people who didn't know each other at all. His mental pain about it began to subside, at least Mirko was all the closer to him. Mirko had now chosen Fiola as his girlfriend.
She was also in the club and a very decent person. However, she never left Mirko's side and Dennis tried to stay away from them from time to time.
Sandra came to see him every other day or drove him to the riding arena. She was a sweet person and if he weren't gay, he would have captured her long ago. He often couldn't sleep in his bed at night.
Sometimes he dreamt of Ralf, they did a lot of things together. At the most beautiful moments he woke up with a start, realizing that none of it was true.
It wasn't necessarily just Ralf that he couldn't get out of his mind, it was the question of how to proceed. He would have to confess to his mother at some point, although he didn't see a big problem there.
She was tolerant, involved in the country women's association and was also otherwise open-minded. But she was not everything and not everyone.
After weeks of waiting, the first ride finally arrived. Early Sunday morning, with beautiful summer weather, Dennis saddled his Kohlfuchs. He didn't want to go far, just a few laps in the Rheinauen. He still felt a slight pull in his shoulder, but that didn't bother him.
Mounting was a bit more problematic, but once he was finally in the saddle, the pain was gone.
He trotted slowly out of the gate. Swallows circled the carriage, flies buzzed in the warm, still mild sunlight, and the flowers glistened everywhere in the morning dew. Only now did Dennis realize what he had been missing for so long.
Suddenly he heard hooves next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that it was Ralf's black horse. He just didn't need that right now and tried to just ignore it, gently spurring his horse and accelerating slightly.
The kicks next to him remained, Ralf pulled along. What was he up to? Dennis stopped abruptly and turned his horse in Ralf's direction.
They stood there, the horses almost head to head.
“What do you want from me?” Dennis asked briskly.
“Maybe a ride with you?”
Dennis began to tremble slightly. That voice. Nothing loud, intrusive or even threatening. And then that image. No one else sat in the saddle as gracefully as that. He would say proudly. And beautifully. Yes, beautifully. His heart was pounding. It was up to him to accept the offer. Was Ralf really the “bad guy”? Was he up to something again? Dennis had no answers to these questions. But at least he was being warned, to pay close attention to what was happening.
“If you want,“ he said, not very politely. He didn't really want to say it like that, but his mistrust prevailed.
“Fine. Then come on,” Ralf said, setting his black horse in motion.
Dennis followed at a distance, along the path into the poplar forest that accompanied them to the Rhine.
Dennis watched the man in front of him lead the horse; the narrow waist, this graceful movement that resembled floating. Ralf was born to ride horses, he thought. They were one up front, rider and horse merged into a graceful unit. Dennis took a deep breath.
Splash.
Oh, shouting, barking, uproar.
Dennis shook his head, the helmet had slipped and sat crookedly on his brown hair. Tiffy, the Jack Russell terrier, was jumping on him, barking. What had just happened, he thought and looked from his unwanted sitting position in disbelief at the spectator stand.
Some people had stood up and were looking in his direction, mouths half open. When Dennis realized his misfortune, he just let himself fall into the mud. It didn't matter anymore anyway. At that moment, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. He closed his eyes. Anger arose, rage.
All over. Finished. His last chance gone. Before the medic was with him, the last few weeks quickly passed before his mind's eye. He had rarely had so much bad luck in his 19 years of life. Bad luck or misfortune? Fate? He couldn't separate them.
“Are you okay?“ one of the medics asked, kneeling down next to Dennis on the ground, which had been soaked by the rain of the last few days.
“My shoulder,” he replied quietly. He couldn't say what hurt more: having lost this tournament or the pain.
The medic had barely touched the spot when Dennis cried out.
“Ouch.”
Could be your collarbone. Any other pain?
Dennis shook his head and now felt tears in his eyes.
Can you stand up?
Dennis knew the medic meant well, but it was all terribly embarrassing for him. Everyone was still staring at him, someone was shouting something through the loudspeakers, and Dennis didn't even try to understand the echoing words.
He still caught the name, but he really didn't want to hear the rest. That he had been eliminated, that his arch-enemy Ralf had won first place in the riding competition. It had all looked so good that morning.
Billy, Dennis Kohlfuchs and only friend, was in a good mood, didn't act up and trotted to the arena very well-behaved. All the disciplines went very well, some people called his name and cheered him on.
But then there was a loud bang. It came from somewhere and was loud and sharp. Billy reared up so fast that Dennis couldn't react. Seconds later he fell out of the saddle and landed on the ground.
Resigned, Dennis let himself be led away by the medic. The right shoulder, of all things. If the collarbone was broken, he could expect not to be able to write for a while. And at a time when the final exam of his apprenticeship was due.
He didn't want to think about what that would mean. Is it possible to have that much bad luck? First his father had run off with the company secretary, then his car broke down and finally Stefan, his best friend from school days, moved away from the city.
And now this. He looked over at Billy, who was being led from the square by a jury member. The proud cabbage fox couldn't help it after all, blaming him was the last thing on Dennis' mind. Only if he caught the one who was responsible for this, he would turn his throat with just one hand.
Encouraging words were whispered to him as the medic accompanied him through the crowd. Dennis didn't dare to look them in the eye, least of all his sister or even his mother, who were definitely nearby. Meeting them soon was inevitable anyway, but he would have preferred to do without it.
He bravely trudged out of the paddock, his eyes fixed on the ground. Suddenly the medic stopped and Dennis saw him in front of him. Ralf, his rival, was standing in front of them. He just didn't like Dennis, but that only manifested itself in the fact that he actually avoided him permanently.
Ralf was already in the club when Dennis joined three years ago. His sister had often taken him with her and at some point he was sitting on Billy's back and taking his first riding attempts.
He enjoyed it, went more and more often and it turned out that he was born for this sport. But there was Ralf, who didn't treat him with mistrust from the start.
At first glance, the boy, who was about his age, wasn't so unpleasant. In the beginning, they often sat in the riders' room and talked, and even found other interests in common.
Over time, however, Dennis felt affection for him. His penchant for pretty boys was not new, but one evening, as they sat together again, Dennis sensed that there was more than just a beginning friendship. He realized that he was falling in love with Ralf. He kept his homosexuality a secret at all costs and nobody around him noticed his secret passion.
Dennis began to brood more and more often when they were together. Ralf didn't have a girlfriend, as he found out, and otherwise seemed to have little interest in anything other than sports.
Then the first tournaments began and Dennis got better and better, until he finally won one first prize after another. From then on, Ralf distanced himself more and more from him, until he finally avoided him completely.
Dennis was more than unhappy about this, and at first he tried to make Ralf understand that it was nothing personal, but he could hardly get through to him. He had actually hoped that Ralf would pay more attention to him as a result, but that was obviously a fallacy. Finally, he came to terms with the fact that Ralf was not what he had secretly hoped for. Of course he would never have gotten too close to him, but just his mere presence or talking to him was pure joy for him.
That was when he joined Mirko. He was anything but his type, but at least he was smart, decent. Almost a head shorter than him, reddish blonde hair, freckles and he came from a rich family. Not only of money, but also of children. Mirko had four siblings, all girls. But they were younger than Mirko, and he was only 17.
Their eyes met. Ralf had beautiful brown eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Was he smiling? Or was it schadenfreude? Probably the latter. Understandable, even though he had emerged as the victor. Won the most important tournament of the year. Dennis was ashamed, also because of his appearance. Totally filthy from the mud, he must have looked like a real wretch.
“Well, tough luck, eh?”
Tears welled up in Dennis' eyes again. Not because of the words, but because he said them, he, his secret love, still.
Seems so, he murmured almost inaudibly. Wouldn't he have rather hit him now? He didn't know what to think or say anymore. It didn't matter to him either, the pain in his shoulder was now beginning to get the upper hand.
Without looking up again, he ran past Ralf, their shoulders touching because Ralf didn't move out of the way.
“Child, are you badly hurt?“ his mother asked, suddenly standing next to him, followed by his sister Anni.
“No, I don't think so,” he replied morosely and got into the ambulance. He lay down on the stretcher without being asked and let the paramedic strap him in.
“We're going to St. Elisabeth's Hospital,” he said only to Dennis' mother, mother and closed the door. Dennis could still hear them discussing outside, presumably they wanted a ride. He didn't mind, even though it wasn't usually allowed; he wanted to be alone. Alone with himself and his misery. Now the tears came fully and he began to sob as the ambulance set in motion and drove at a moderate pace from the premises.
The procedure at the hospital took a long time. X-rays were taken of all possible parts of the body for possible injuries. Fortunately, the collarbone was only broken, but he still had to walk around with a support bandage for a few weeks.
His mother picked him up from the hospital late that afternoon and, in an attempt to cheer him up, took him for an ice cream in town. Dennis didn't mind; he didn't resist, but he wasn't thrilled either.
“Now just accept it, Dennis. There's nothing you can do about any of this, and it wasn't anyone's fault. At least not you and Billy's. They said they would find out who fired the shot, because they suspect that it was done on purpose. But even if they don't find him, it wasn't the end of the world, after all,” his mother said, digging into her ice cream sundae.
Dennis just nodded; she was right. Still, it annoyed him, and the thing with Ralf bothered him even more.
When he arrived home, he lay down on the bed and brooded. Again and again, he tried to convince himself that things would get better, knowing that he was allowed to take his exams after his mother had phoned the company.
He could also ride again, someday. But Ralf wouldn't get out of his head. That handsome guy who had such charisma that he couldn't escape. The blond, tousled hair, the slender body, which, wrapped in the riding gear, was so incredibly attractive to him. The cute bottom... Dennis groaned. He would have given anything to be allowed to have Ralf as a real friend. But something or someone was apparently against it.
Just as he was falling asleep, there was a knock at the door.
“Dennis, can I come in?”
Overcome with sleep, he sat up halfway. That voice belonged to Sandra, a good friend from the neighborhood. He liked her because she was so uncomplicated and unfortunately she had already hinted that she liked him very much. He always hoped that when they were together she wouldn't make any advances. But he suspected that eventually it would come to that. Then he had no choice but to come out of the closet, as much as he resisted outing himself to anyone.
“Yes, come in,” he called, and she was already standing by his bedside, holding a huge box of chocolates.
“Hello, unlucky you. How are you?”
He smiled painfully.
“Don't ask.”
“Oh, don't be such a frog. You'll be fine and then you can really show Ralf.”
Ralf. The name stung in his heart.
“If possible, please don't mention him in my presence for the foreseeable future.”
“Oh, but he didn't do anything to you.”
“Do you think?” he thought to himself.
“He broke my heart, which is worse than any injury to any body part.”
“Tell me, why don't you two get along?” ”In the beginning?”
“Please, Sandra, let's talk about something else.”
Without asking, she sat down on his bed and ran her fingers through his thick, dark brown hair.
“Well, I'm sorry, I'd really like to know what's between you. It's not right. I think it's great when you guys beat the others at other tournaments. It should be...
Dennis wiped his eyes.
“Are you in a lot of pain?” she interrupted her remarks.
He looked at his fingers and sensed that the time had come. She had to, she could and she should know, because it would come out eventually. And he knew her well enough to know that she could keep quiet. It was possible that she would then no longer want to have anything to do with him, but he just had to take that risk.
“Sandra, I have a problem...”
She looked at him, but rather calmly.
“Come on, spit it out.”
“It's not that easy,“ he mumbled, boring his eyes into the carpet.
“Otherwise it wouldn't be a problem, right?”
“Yeah, well... So the thing with Ralf...”
“Yes?” “Did he do something to you?”
“Basically, yes.”
Her eyes widened and she moved a bit away from him to get a better look at him.
“Well, come on, what's going on?”
“I've... I've fallen in love with him.”
He wanted to say more, but it was hard for him to find the right words now. Basically, everything was out. That was all there needed to be. He looked at her now and waited for her reaction.
Sandra let the air out of her lungs.
Oh, I see. I thought he had something to do with your accident.
Dennis looked up abruptly, directly into her eyes. He hadn't considered that at all. Of course. Ralf was already three runs ahead of him, he had plenty of time to leave the area and make the bang.
At exactly the right moment. It could only have been him. Anger suddenly overwhelmed him. He wanted to get to him, right now, on the spot. But words penetrated his ears and he calmed down. At least on the surface.
“And that's all you have to say about it?”
“That you're gay?” What can I say about that? It's not your fault. Of course I could have imagined something different, but as far as I know, there's nothing I can do about it. It's just stupid that Ralf... or is he too?
Dennis squinted at the sunlight shining into his room.
I don't know. He doesn't have a girlfriend, I know that. But that's all I know.
Then be careful. If he finds out and doesn't like gays, it could quickly go wrong. He knows a lot of important people in the club and...
Yes, yes, he interrupted her, I'll behave quietly. I wanted... no, I had to talk to someone about it now.
And that's with me. It's kind of an honor for me, even if I now have to bury my hopes in you.
She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“Well, now I have to go, Stefanie wants to go to the movies with me. Or are you coming too?”
He shook his head smiling.
“That's sweet of you, but I need to think. Another time would be nice. And thanks for listening to me. And for not letting me sit there?”
She grinned under the door, winked at him and gave him a thumbs-up.
“It'll be fine, no problem.”
Dennis flopped down on his pillows and shortly afterwards felt the reason for his being in his room in this weather. The pain shot through him like a dagger.
“Damn,” he cursed, and thought again about whether Ralf could really have something to do with all of this.
The days passed without anything exciting happening. Dennis' shoulder was getting better every day, and finally he was able to write again. But none of this satisfied him. He wanted to ride again. He wanted to get back on his horse, which he visited every day.
He had only seen Ralf a few times, but they didn't look at each other. It seemed to Dennis like two strangers, people who didn't know each other at all. His mental pain about it began to subside, at least Mirko was all the closer to him. Mirko had now chosen Fiola as his girlfriend.
She was also in the club and a very decent person. However, she never left Mirko's side and Dennis tried to stay away from them from time to time.
Sandra came to see him every other day or drove him to the riding arena. She was a sweet person and if he weren't gay, he would have captured her long ago. He often couldn't sleep in his bed at night.
Sometimes he dreamt of Ralf, they did a lot of things together. At the most beautiful moments he woke up with a start, realizing that none of it was true.
It wasn't necessarily just Ralf that he couldn't get out of his mind, it was the question of how to proceed. He would have to confess to his mother at some point, although he didn't see a big problem there.
She was tolerant, involved in the country women's association and was also otherwise open-minded. But she was not everything and not everyone.
After weeks of waiting, the first ride finally arrived. Early Sunday morning, with beautiful summer weather, Dennis saddled his Kohlfuchs. He didn't want to go far, just a few laps in the Rheinauen. He still felt a slight pull in his shoulder, but that didn't bother him.
Mounting was a bit more problematic, but once he was finally in the saddle, the pain was gone.
He trotted slowly out of the gate. Swallows circled the carriage, flies buzzed in the warm, still mild sunlight, and the flowers glistened everywhere in the morning dew. Only now did Dennis realize what he had been missing for so long.
Suddenly he heard hooves next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that it was Ralf's black horse. He just didn't need that right now and tried to just ignore it, gently spurring his horse and accelerating slightly.
The kicks next to him remained, Ralf pulled along. What was he up to? Dennis stopped abruptly and turned his horse in Ralf's direction.
They stood there, the horses almost head to head.
“What do you want from me?” Dennis asked briskly.
“Maybe a ride with you?”
Dennis began to tremble slightly. That voice. Nothing loud, intrusive or even threatening. And then that image. No one else sat in the saddle as gracefully as that. He would say proudly. And beautifully. Yes, beautifully. His heart was pounding. It was up to him to accept the offer. Was Ralf really the “bad guy”? Was he up to something again? Dennis had no answers to these questions. But at least he was being warned, to pay close attention to what was happening.
“If you want,“ he said, not very politely. He didn't really want to say it like that, but his mistrust prevailed.
“Fine. Then come on,” Ralf said, setting his black horse in motion.
Dennis followed at a distance, along the path into the poplar forest that accompanied them to the Rhine.
Dennis watched the man in front of him lead the horse; the narrow waist, this graceful movement that resembled floating. Ralf was born to ride horses, he thought. They were one up front, rider and horse merged into a graceful unit. Dennis took a deep breath.