07-11-2025, 04:04 PM
My nightmare
Mum, come on now! I don't fancy missing the train because of you two!
Give over! Your father just had to stop at the chemist's, didn't he?
It was bound to happen. What else was I going to hear? Always the same! My parents wanted to drive me to the station because we, that is my class and a parallel class, are going on a school trip. And what do my parents do?
First of all, they go shopping at the train station! At least the shops here are already open at seven in the morning. And I'm supposed to wait and not run ahead. After all, they drove me here and also want to say goodbye to me on the platform.
And I can already imagine how? With kisses on each cheek, waving a handkerchief and running after the train? They should really start to understand that I've been seventeen for quite a while and will be celebrating my eighteenth birthday in six months.
They're really driving me crazy! At least they'll certainly drive me to despair, if I'm not granted madness.
And if even that doesn't happen, they're definitely responsible for the fact that I've probably spent 50 percent of my life with a red head.
Annoyed, I throw the straps of my backpack off my shoulders and fling it into a corner. This thing is getting heavy. This is one of the few moments when I suddenly feel almost like waking up. Even my father didn't take the backpack off me for more than two minutes.
But he also had to stop at the pharmacy.
Did I mention that already?
I'm sure I did!
At least I didn't waste any time getting me on the train.
But I'm sure you don't know that he went to the supermarket and the bakery first.
And we also had to stop at a small fruit and vegetable stand in front of the train station, which of course also needs to be mentioned. Strawberries are important! Just like the pomegranates, the sparkling wine, the croissants, the jam with cognac, the cream, the honey and the chocolate sauce in a handy dispenser.
So?
Have you guessed what this is going to be?
You got it!
Junior isn't here and we're buying everything we need for a hearty breakfast in bed! Fortunately, there's no fishmonger here, otherwise we would have bought oysters too. And I don't even want to know what my father is buying at the pharmacy right now!
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother looking over at me with amusement.
“Don't worry, you'll still get to see Lukas on time.”
You're wondering who Lukas is?
Lukas is my boyfriend. We've been together for half a year. It took a while and was a bit chaotic until we were together, mainly because of my parents.
Yes, like so many, I also had a few, albeit unusual, problems with coming out. But now he is my rock with whom I want to spend every single minute.
If it takes much longer in there, I mean pointing to the pharmacy, Lukas will have left with the others long ago!
And here I am interrupting your breakfast!“ I blurt out.
“There's still plenty of time. And even if there isn't, you can keep us company,” my mother replies.
OK.
There it was again. She had done it again. This time I didn't blush, but I knew. I knew that even our newly renovated school auditorium would turn green with envy.
There are simply things you don't want to imagine.
Even a decent nightmare would steer clear of it and go to the psychiatrist on its own initiative. And the word “parents” in combination with the “S-word” is definitely one of them.
But which of you would seriously dispute that.
But before my mother can say any more, I see my father through the shop window, heading for the door to leave the pharmacy. Immediately I heave my backpack back onto my back.
“We can go on.”
And I'm already on my way.
Behind me I hear my parents.
“What's wrong with him?“ My father.
“I think he's allergic to the word ‘breakfast’ in the future tense.” My mother, with her typical undertone.
My hand closes a little tighter around the handrail of the escalator that I have just reached.
“Two weeks of peace and quiet, two weeks of peace and quiet, two weeks of peace and quiet,” I repeat my current mantra of the last few weeks over and over again in my mind. Of course that's why I'm so absent-minded that I trip over the end of this stupid escalator.
“Paul, are you all right?”
You're wondering who Paul is? Paul is the unfortunate me. The one who's talking to you and trying to escape from his parents to his class.
“Yes, I'm fine,” I mumble to myself while I look for my class.
Well, actually for Lukas. But the rest of the class will do for now.
I walk down the platform with my luggage, my parents behind me.
After not even ten meters, I see him.
Lukas!
A bit ahead of me. In the midst of the other students, their parents and the two teachers who are supposed to watch over us.
Without paying attention to my companions, I try to get to him as quickly as possible. I sidestep a few people, make a few detours, and sure enough, he sees me before I get to him. With a smile on my face, I join the group.
“Morning.”
Lukas lightly strokes my arm in greeting. “Hello, little one. How was your morning?”
I just roll my eyes in reply, as I do almost every time.
So, the usual, then?
Did you expect anything else?
Do you have new parents by any chance?
H??? I look at him quizzically. What makes you think that?
Because it seems to be the only way for you to have a quiet morning.
Lukas' explanation brings a smile to my face. The day is slowly getting better.
And only now do I take a closer look at my surroundings.
Martin and Achim (actually Joachim) are still standing with us, but if he knew that I was telling you this, he would chase me through the whole train station.
Next to us are Lukas' parents, our class teacher Mr. Dreiher, and Mrs. Unger, who is responsible for our biology and is the class teacher of the other class.
My parents then also join this group of adults.
Well, almost.
At least my father joins them.
My mother's path describes a slight curve. On this, she briefly greets those present and then comes straight towards me.
“Paul, are you sure you're okay?”
Her maternal instinct is apparently very pronounced again.
Before I can react, I already feel one of her hands on the collar of my polo shirt, which she is tugging at. A little later, her other hand is a little lower, brushing the non-existent dust off my trousers.
“If you take out a handkerchief and wipe my face, I'll never come back home!”
Don't be like that. You want to look decent, don't you?”
That explains, of course, why my mother thinks it necessary to clean my torn jeans.
But since she's not going to change her mind, I'd better not complain any further. At least she's now joining our teachers.
I told you we'd get something to do here. And you wanted to go and stand with Melanie?
Martin doesn't even bother to keep his voice down, nor does Achim.
You were right. Paul and his parents are better than the movies.
I look at Lukas, pleadingly. But he just stands there, his eyes flashing, chewing on his lower lip.
He seems on the verge of bursting out laughing.
Great!
Now you're starting too? I snap at him.
I don't really want to, but after the shopping marathon with my parents this morning, I can't help it, even though I'm immediately sorry again.
I see a brief surprise in Lukas' eyes. But then he comes half the step we were standing apart on me and hugs me.
“Sorry, I didn't want to make fun of you,“ he says only to me and then gives me a kiss, in which I would have forgiven him everything.
“Where I see you both standing like that?” My mother behind my back.
Do you know that?
When you're watching a movie and everything is nice and colorful and happy?
And then a light violin music begins, which gets darker and darker and faster and faster. At the latest when the music consists only of short, fast staccatos, you know that horror is about to strike.
My mother's voice has the same effect.
“We've brought you something for the road.”
With these words she starts to rummage in her handbag. After some back and forth shifting of the contents, she pulls two small boxes out of her bag.
With a probably really sincere smile, she holds them out to me. As I reach for them, I see part of the label.
But that's enough for me for now.
15 x EXTRASTARK
I immediately feel the blood rush to my head.
Behind me, I hear Martin and Achim giggling again.
And I wonder, not for the first time, what my parents actually think I am.
A horny rabbit?
We'll only be gone for a fortnight, including the journey there and back!
And they're giving me thirty condoms!
And your father also has something for you.
Oh yes! I almost forgot about that. That's why I had to stop at the pharmacy.
With these words, my father pushes another small tube into my hand.
You can probably guess what's in it.
And Lukas probably knows too. I can tell that he's getting nervous too, right next to me.
What are you looking at? Don't you know what to do with it?
Well, then you can ask Mrs. Unger. Fortunately she is coming on the trip.
Martin and Achim are now leaning against each other, trying not to fall over laughing.
And I can also see our other classmates grinning now.
At least some of them.
Some started giggling and are now also on the verge of bursting out laughing.
I myself am still staring at the gifts, probably with a silly grin on my face.
Lukas also looks like he would prefer to hide under the tracks.
“I don't know what's wrong with these young people. They should be glad to be alive in such enlightened times.”
The comment comes from an older gentleman.
Dark suit, light shirt underneath, even a neatly folded handkerchief was not missing. Next to him stands his wife, apparently. Also in a coordinated costume and with elaborately teased hair.
“If we had had such aids back then, it would have been much easier with the girls.”
Karl, I don't think these young men need condoms for girls,“ his wife now also interjects.
How red can you actually get?
I said, if we had had such aids, it would have been much easier in the past,” he replies with the most smug grin I've seen in my life.
My parents are still standing there smiling at me.
Lukas' parents also seem to be enjoying their role as enlightened legal guardians.
Only Ms. Unger seems a little afraid that we might actually ask her about the correct use of condoms.
I turn to Lukas and press myself against him.
My face is at his neck.
“Duhu?” I whisper, while I feel his hand soothingly on my back.
“If we're gone for a week, can't we find new parents?”
“Oh yes. Preferably some who aren't quite so enlightened?”
“And also not quite so offensive?”
“A little less accepting?”
“And maybe even a little intolerant?”
That would be great! I hear Lukas's confirmation before the incoming train that takes us out of this nightmare drowns out the giggling and laughing around us.
*-* End *-*
Mum, come on now! I don't fancy missing the train because of you two!
Give over! Your father just had to stop at the chemist's, didn't he?
It was bound to happen. What else was I going to hear? Always the same! My parents wanted to drive me to the station because we, that is my class and a parallel class, are going on a school trip. And what do my parents do?
First of all, they go shopping at the train station! At least the shops here are already open at seven in the morning. And I'm supposed to wait and not run ahead. After all, they drove me here and also want to say goodbye to me on the platform.
And I can already imagine how? With kisses on each cheek, waving a handkerchief and running after the train? They should really start to understand that I've been seventeen for quite a while and will be celebrating my eighteenth birthday in six months.
They're really driving me crazy! At least they'll certainly drive me to despair, if I'm not granted madness.
And if even that doesn't happen, they're definitely responsible for the fact that I've probably spent 50 percent of my life with a red head.
Annoyed, I throw the straps of my backpack off my shoulders and fling it into a corner. This thing is getting heavy. This is one of the few moments when I suddenly feel almost like waking up. Even my father didn't take the backpack off me for more than two minutes.
But he also had to stop at the pharmacy.
Did I mention that already?
I'm sure I did!
At least I didn't waste any time getting me on the train.
But I'm sure you don't know that he went to the supermarket and the bakery first.
And we also had to stop at a small fruit and vegetable stand in front of the train station, which of course also needs to be mentioned. Strawberries are important! Just like the pomegranates, the sparkling wine, the croissants, the jam with cognac, the cream, the honey and the chocolate sauce in a handy dispenser.
So?
Have you guessed what this is going to be?
You got it!
Junior isn't here and we're buying everything we need for a hearty breakfast in bed! Fortunately, there's no fishmonger here, otherwise we would have bought oysters too. And I don't even want to know what my father is buying at the pharmacy right now!
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother looking over at me with amusement.
“Don't worry, you'll still get to see Lukas on time.”
You're wondering who Lukas is?
Lukas is my boyfriend. We've been together for half a year. It took a while and was a bit chaotic until we were together, mainly because of my parents.
Yes, like so many, I also had a few, albeit unusual, problems with coming out. But now he is my rock with whom I want to spend every single minute.
If it takes much longer in there, I mean pointing to the pharmacy, Lukas will have left with the others long ago!
And here I am interrupting your breakfast!“ I blurt out.
“There's still plenty of time. And even if there isn't, you can keep us company,” my mother replies.
OK.
There it was again. She had done it again. This time I didn't blush, but I knew. I knew that even our newly renovated school auditorium would turn green with envy.
There are simply things you don't want to imagine.
Even a decent nightmare would steer clear of it and go to the psychiatrist on its own initiative. And the word “parents” in combination with the “S-word” is definitely one of them.
But which of you would seriously dispute that.
But before my mother can say any more, I see my father through the shop window, heading for the door to leave the pharmacy. Immediately I heave my backpack back onto my back.
“We can go on.”
And I'm already on my way.
Behind me I hear my parents.
“What's wrong with him?“ My father.
“I think he's allergic to the word ‘breakfast’ in the future tense.” My mother, with her typical undertone.
My hand closes a little tighter around the handrail of the escalator that I have just reached.
“Two weeks of peace and quiet, two weeks of peace and quiet, two weeks of peace and quiet,” I repeat my current mantra of the last few weeks over and over again in my mind. Of course that's why I'm so absent-minded that I trip over the end of this stupid escalator.
“Paul, are you all right?”
You're wondering who Paul is? Paul is the unfortunate me. The one who's talking to you and trying to escape from his parents to his class.
“Yes, I'm fine,” I mumble to myself while I look for my class.
Well, actually for Lukas. But the rest of the class will do for now.
I walk down the platform with my luggage, my parents behind me.
After not even ten meters, I see him.
Lukas!
A bit ahead of me. In the midst of the other students, their parents and the two teachers who are supposed to watch over us.
Without paying attention to my companions, I try to get to him as quickly as possible. I sidestep a few people, make a few detours, and sure enough, he sees me before I get to him. With a smile on my face, I join the group.
“Morning.”
Lukas lightly strokes my arm in greeting. “Hello, little one. How was your morning?”
I just roll my eyes in reply, as I do almost every time.
So, the usual, then?
Did you expect anything else?
Do you have new parents by any chance?
H??? I look at him quizzically. What makes you think that?
Because it seems to be the only way for you to have a quiet morning.
Lukas' explanation brings a smile to my face. The day is slowly getting better.
And only now do I take a closer look at my surroundings.
Martin and Achim (actually Joachim) are still standing with us, but if he knew that I was telling you this, he would chase me through the whole train station.
Next to us are Lukas' parents, our class teacher Mr. Dreiher, and Mrs. Unger, who is responsible for our biology and is the class teacher of the other class.
My parents then also join this group of adults.
Well, almost.
At least my father joins them.
My mother's path describes a slight curve. On this, she briefly greets those present and then comes straight towards me.
“Paul, are you sure you're okay?”
Her maternal instinct is apparently very pronounced again.
Before I can react, I already feel one of her hands on the collar of my polo shirt, which she is tugging at. A little later, her other hand is a little lower, brushing the non-existent dust off my trousers.
“If you take out a handkerchief and wipe my face, I'll never come back home!”
Don't be like that. You want to look decent, don't you?”
That explains, of course, why my mother thinks it necessary to clean my torn jeans.
But since she's not going to change her mind, I'd better not complain any further. At least she's now joining our teachers.
I told you we'd get something to do here. And you wanted to go and stand with Melanie?
Martin doesn't even bother to keep his voice down, nor does Achim.
You were right. Paul and his parents are better than the movies.
I look at Lukas, pleadingly. But he just stands there, his eyes flashing, chewing on his lower lip.
He seems on the verge of bursting out laughing.
Great!
Now you're starting too? I snap at him.
I don't really want to, but after the shopping marathon with my parents this morning, I can't help it, even though I'm immediately sorry again.
I see a brief surprise in Lukas' eyes. But then he comes half the step we were standing apart on me and hugs me.
“Sorry, I didn't want to make fun of you,“ he says only to me and then gives me a kiss, in which I would have forgiven him everything.
“Where I see you both standing like that?” My mother behind my back.
Do you know that?
When you're watching a movie and everything is nice and colorful and happy?
And then a light violin music begins, which gets darker and darker and faster and faster. At the latest when the music consists only of short, fast staccatos, you know that horror is about to strike.
My mother's voice has the same effect.
“We've brought you something for the road.”
With these words she starts to rummage in her handbag. After some back and forth shifting of the contents, she pulls two small boxes out of her bag.
With a probably really sincere smile, she holds them out to me. As I reach for them, I see part of the label.
But that's enough for me for now.
15 x EXTRASTARK
I immediately feel the blood rush to my head.
Behind me, I hear Martin and Achim giggling again.
And I wonder, not for the first time, what my parents actually think I am.
A horny rabbit?
We'll only be gone for a fortnight, including the journey there and back!
And they're giving me thirty condoms!
And your father also has something for you.
Oh yes! I almost forgot about that. That's why I had to stop at the pharmacy.
With these words, my father pushes another small tube into my hand.
You can probably guess what's in it.
And Lukas probably knows too. I can tell that he's getting nervous too, right next to me.
What are you looking at? Don't you know what to do with it?
Well, then you can ask Mrs. Unger. Fortunately she is coming on the trip.
Martin and Achim are now leaning against each other, trying not to fall over laughing.
And I can also see our other classmates grinning now.
At least some of them.
Some started giggling and are now also on the verge of bursting out laughing.
I myself am still staring at the gifts, probably with a silly grin on my face.
Lukas also looks like he would prefer to hide under the tracks.
“I don't know what's wrong with these young people. They should be glad to be alive in such enlightened times.”
The comment comes from an older gentleman.
Dark suit, light shirt underneath, even a neatly folded handkerchief was not missing. Next to him stands his wife, apparently. Also in a coordinated costume and with elaborately teased hair.
“If we had had such aids back then, it would have been much easier with the girls.”
Karl, I don't think these young men need condoms for girls,“ his wife now also interjects.
How red can you actually get?
I said, if we had had such aids, it would have been much easier in the past,” he replies with the most smug grin I've seen in my life.
My parents are still standing there smiling at me.
Lukas' parents also seem to be enjoying their role as enlightened legal guardians.
Only Ms. Unger seems a little afraid that we might actually ask her about the correct use of condoms.
I turn to Lukas and press myself against him.
My face is at his neck.
“Duhu?” I whisper, while I feel his hand soothingly on my back.
“If we're gone for a week, can't we find new parents?”
“Oh yes. Preferably some who aren't quite so enlightened?”
“And also not quite so offensive?”
“A little less accepting?”
“And maybe even a little intolerant?”
That would be great! I hear Lukas's confirmation before the incoming train that takes us out of this nightmare drowns out the giggling and laughing around us.
*-* End *-*