2025-07-11, 05:28 PM
Love again will
A melody, gentle, pure, attractive. A ceaseless stream through his blood. A wave of feelings that are too big to grasp. An endless series of sounds combined into an endless melody. United with his heartbeat. Merged with his senses. Connected to his deep voice. Nothing else exists except for this melody, this song, this voice.
Nothing. Far and wide, no people, no animals, no plants. Only this moment into all eternity. No reality. No pain, no awakening from sweet dreams that will never be fulfilled. Just this one moment. Just for him. A dark room, without windows and if it had any he wouldn't see them and didn't want to. He didn't want to go back to reality that had hurt him so much.
No wounds, no blood, no pain. Nothing should exist anymore, only this voice. This pure, deep voice. A voice that screamed deep inside of him, calling him and wanting to wake him up, sometimes just to make him aware that someone was with him. But today it called for him, wanted to bring him back from his dream world and hold him in its arms again.
But if he opened his eyes, everything would be back. Pain, suffering, injuries. Everything, including his hated love that he could never accept. She was not real. She would destroy him, drag him down into the depths.
“Wake up again, please. Come on, you can't do that. You promised to listen to my songs until my voice could no longer sing, until I no longer wanted to sing.
And now you just tear yourself away, leave me alone and don't want to come back. Is that what you wanted to tell me when you walked between us smiling? Have you had enough of me? Do you want me to never sing again?
No. I want to keep listening to your songs, but I never want to feel this love again. I can't escape it when I see you, it hurts as if a thousand knives were stabbing me. Do you understand?
Yes. He said softly and looked down. Why didn't you wake up for so long?
Because I didn't want to. I just wanted to hear your songs, your voice, without seeing you. Because it wouldn't have hurt me. You have branded yourself into me without asking me. My chest is still burning from your touch. My hands still feel your hair and I still feel your kisses on my lips. He said softly and opened his eyes. His eyes were so shiny from the medication that you might think they were made of glass. But that didn't change their beauty. As green as an emerald. A radiance like a ring of precious stones.
“Why did you throw yourself in between?”
“If I hadn't, you might never have been able to sing again. Don't you know what he was aiming for?
No. My beloved said softly and looked his lover so rigidly in the eyes that he thought he would drown in them. The latter sat up slowly and held his finger to a spot about halfway up the other's chest, just below his throat. He stroked his finger slowly over it and approached him. When he touched the spot with his lips, he felt the fire burning him again.
Which pulled him close and tied them together. Tied them into a world that couldn't be accepted, not by him, not by his friends, not by the rest of the world. Not even the fans would let their star give him away.
Koi. Please stay with me. Just near me. You can't go so far away without me. Don't you even think about my feelings. Don't you think I'm burning in your fire. Do you think I'm without consequences with you. You have burned yourself into my heart as well. Don't you understand, or can't you? We are no longer able to be without each other. I need you to be able to sing and you need my songs to be able to exist. The other said and pulled Koi close. The other tensed up slightly and closed his eyes before he slowly put his hands on the other's back and clung on.
“Are you singing tonight?”
“Yes. At a popular club.”
“Then you should go slowly.” Koi said in a whisper and kissed him lightly on the shoulder. ‘Or do you want to disappoint your fans?’ At that moment, there was a tentative knock at the door. Koi lay down again and looked at the door.
“I don't want to disturb you, but we have to go. The concert is about to start, Y?ru.”
“I'll be right there,” Y?ru said and gave his manager a brief glance. When he had left, he looked back at Koi and stroked a finger over his lips. ‘I'm going to sing a new song today, just for you. Can you hear me?’ ”Maybe then you'll understand my feelings. I don't want to hold you in my arms, torn apart, but as a whole, and I also want your heart for me and your body and everything else about you.
I won't force you, but I'll break down if you don't finally come closer to me. I don't know where to put my feelings anymore, my songs are full of them. I am full of my passion, my longing, my love. I don't want to be with you anymore. It's enough for me if you're just around, you don't have to start a relationship. But don't let me freeze any longer.
Bat Y?ru asked quietly and leaned over him. He kissed him gently on the lips and felt the fire and passion even with this small touch. When he broke away from Koi, this kiss burned on his lips and Koi also felt this heat and put two fingers on his lips before he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep. The doctors gave him so many sedatives and painkillers that Koi could no longer fight it.
For the first few weeks, he slept a deep sleep that resembled a coma, but he kept hearing Y?ru's singing. His voice pulled him back into the painful reality. The suffering that their love brought with it. His body was hot in the places that Y?ru had touched; they burned inwards and ate into his heart, his bones.
“There you are, Y?ru. How is he?”
“He's exhausted. They're giving him so much sedative and pain medication that he can hardly move.”
Sedatives?
He screams in the night when he wakes up. He won't let the doctors touch him either. If someone touches him, he tries to run away all the time. That's why we give him this stuff. Otherwise we can't treat him. He once said under anesthesia that he was on fire. I don't know what's wrong with him. But if it continues, he needs a psychiatrist. We don't know what to do anymore. Said a doctor behind them.
He is healthy. This has nothing to do with his injury. He just needs time. Said Y?ru quietly and left.
Is he like that too?
No. Just don't touch the little one all the time. There are other reasons why he reacts like that. They have nothing to do with a shrink, but are of natural origin. Treat his injury and we'll take care of the rest. And don't let the press in here. Just the two of us and his parents. Understood?
Yes. The doctor said, perplexed, and watched the manager leave.
Then he went into Koi's room and was about to examine him when the boy opened his eyes and avoided his gaze. “I just want to look at your injury. I'll only touch you there. I promise,” the doctor said cautiously. Koi looked at him suspiciously but allowed the doctor to see the injury and didn't resist further. He was also too tired to fight.
Could I get a TV tonight?
Do you want to watch a movie?
No. A concert. Koi said quietly and watched the doctor's fingers as he treated his injury. A clean shot through his left shoulder.
“I'll have a TV made. You should sleep some more. I'll check on you later,” the doctor said and left. Koi looked out the window for a while and then lay down again. He fell asleep after a few moments and woke up when he heard someone open the door.
“Where would you prefer it?“ the nurse asked. ‘Should I put the TV by the window or here in front?”
“By the window.’ Koi said quietly and sat up.
“Do you need anything else?”
“No. Thank you.” Koi said quietly and took the remote control. He sat up halfway and leaned against the pillow behind him. When he turned on the TV, he wasn't surprised at all to see which channel was set. As always, most people in the hospital only saw one channel, the news. He searched for one of the music channels and got the right one right away, namely the one that would broadcast Y?ru's concert. Y?ru wasn't on stage yet, but there was already screaming.
Koi was always able to sit backstage and listen, because he was always editing the recordings for some time. Koi closed his eyes when the concert started and tried not to see Y?ru, but just to hear the songs. But he didn't quite succeed. Imperceptibly, his face crept into Koi's thoughts and when Koi noticed it, he left it at that. He loved Y?ru's eyes, the way she looked at him, the way they shone when he sang. He loved singing, but there was one thing he loved even more.
Koi felt the passion with which Y?ru sang today. He felt the closeness, the longing. His pleas for him. Suddenly Koi opened his eyes and stared at the TV. Y?ru was wearing the outfit again that Koi loved about him. A simple black shirt, black pants and his hair was down. It fell on his face and formed a silky veil of silver strands that fell on his shoulders.
Y?ru wore a silver cross around his neck with a small heart-shaped stone. “You can't do that.” Koi said quietly and ran both hands through his hair. He felt the burning heat on his body, his lips. Felt Y?ru's hair touching his. Smelled the sweet scent of the soft perfume that permeated Y?ru. Felt the delicate hands on his chest.
Koi closed his eyes and he knew that Y?ru had meant this song. This song, which was for him alone. Which only he could understand. Which conveyed Y?ru's feelings and sensations to him. After a while, Koi gently fell asleep to Y?ru's singing. He still felt the fire of passion that Y?ru had sent him. When he felt a touch on his shoulder, he woke up and pushed the hand aside.
“Stay calm. I just want to take a look at your injury,“ the doctor said soothingly.
“You're different from the other doctors.”
“Why?” “Because I care for you?”
“No. The others always examine me completely and hold me if I don't want to let them.”
You don't like being touched?
No.
Why?
Because it takes something else away from me.
What is this something else? The touch of a certain person?
Yes. Koi said quietly and looked at the TV.
I turned it off. The concert was long over and I thought the other music would just wake you up again.
Thank you.
He's worried about you. He asked about you twice today. He couldn't come here yet, but he said I should tell you that he's trying to come as soon as possible.
Silly. He knows he can't do that. They'll hold him and bombard him with questions until he's too tired to come here.
Why? Isn't it good for his image?
No. Only his manager lets him out every now and then.
He seems to care about you a lot.
Yes. I also edited his videos for a while.
And you listen to his songs. Not like those so-called fans who just scream and can't even hear what he's singing. The doctor said with a smile.
He has a beautiful voice. I love to listen to him.
Is he that certain person? the doctor asked cautiously. When Koi looked at him in confusion, he continued. You said yesterday that he can't do this to you.
How do you know that?
I was in the room. I sat on the chair, because I thought you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you up, so I just listened to the concert. You trembled when he sang that one song.
He made me understand something, or tried to.
It's his touch that you don't want to lose. Am I right?
Yes. My body is hot in the places he touched. It burns deeply.
Why are you so sad then?
Because it won't work. I can't give in to him. The only thing that would happen then would be to endure suffering and pain. What I want wouldn't come and what he wants I can't give him.
What does he want that you can't give him?
Everything. He wants everything from me. Koi said quietly and pulled himself together. His whole body felt hot. His lips burned from the kiss, which, as gentle as it was, had transmitted so much passion that he couldn't forget it.
“You should sleep. I'll check on you later.”
“You have to keep this to yourself,“ Koi said urgently, looking at him intently.
“I know. I won't say anything. Besides, I'd lose two patients otherwise.” The doctor said with a smile.
“Two?”
You and Y?ru. He asked me to take care of you. He told me to just take care of your wound and not to touch you unless it was necessary. I told you he was worried. Said the doctor and left. Koi lay down and closed his eyes. His body burned like fire. His lips felt the passion that blazed within him. His hands wanted to touch him. He slowly fell asleep and only woke up when he felt Y?ru's gentle hand in his hair and opened his eyes.
“How are you feeling?” The doctor said he wouldn't give you any more sedatives.
No. He doesn't. I'll be good and let him examine me, as long as he only touches me there. Koi said quietly and looked at the TV.
You saw the concert?
Yes. I also understood your message, but I can't give in to you. I feel like I'm on fire when I'm with you. All I want to do is touch you.
Then do it. I won't stop you.” Y?ru said desperately. ”I can't anymore. I want you to stay with me. It doesn't have to be forever, but at least for now.”
You're asking too much of me. I can't give you everything. I can't even give you enough without withdrawing.” Koi said quietly and sat down. When he approached Y?ru, the latter embraced him tenderly and kissed him passionately on the lips. Koi wanted to escape from him but his strength was not enough emotionally.
He wanted to stay with him, but he was also afraid of the longing that had grown so immeasurably within him that it hurt him. He clung to Y?ru and didn't want to let go of him anymore. He only wanted to be with him, to feel the passion, to feel Y?ru's lips, to absorb his kisses inside. He wanted to dig his hands into Y?ru's back and never let him go again. But when he felt his inner fear, he pulled himself away and looked at Y?ru, breathing heavily.
Don't withdraw again and again. I can't do that. I want to hold you tight once you're close and I want to pull you to me.? Y?ru said quietly. Koi felt the flames on his back, his hip. Everywhere Y?ru had touched him again. He felt Y?ru's lips on his and tasted the sweet flavor of his tongue. He still felt Y?ru touching his hair and on his own hands he still felt Y?ru's heartbeat, although he didn't touch it anymore.
“It burns.” Koi said quietly. He lay down slowly and looked Y?ru in the eyes. The latter looked at him worriedly. ‘It hurts when you touch me, but I still don't want it to stop. I don't want to be touched by anyone else. Only by you, but I can't accept it.’ Koi said quietly and looked at the window.
The moonlight played in his eyes, refracting several times and making Koi's eyes shine. Y?ru laid his head on Koi's stomach and a hand on his chest. Koi gently stroked his hair and touched Y?ru's lips with a finger. “I'm sorry. I know I'm hurting you, but I can't help it.
I know, but then why can't you at least be close to me. I only want you to stay with me. That's all I ask of you.” Y?ru said softly and closed his eyes.
“Give me time.” Koi whispered and fell asleep. Y?ru looked at him gently and kissed him again on the lips. Koi returned the kiss without waking up and turned to the side. Y?ru left the room quietly and ran both hands through his hair.
“How are you?” the doctor asked cautiously and looked at him with concern.
“I don't know either. I want it, but I can't hold it.”
“That's normal. Love is a game. Give it the time it needs. He's confused and your closeness makes it worse. You're crowding him without wanting to or realizing it. He's not sure yet and that's why he avoids you. But overall, he feels attracted to you.” The doctor said calmly and put a hand on Y?ru's forehead.
“How would you know?”
“He told me. Now you'd better go home. You'll catch a cold if you don't get enough sleep.”
“How am I supposed to sleep when he's on my mind?”
Try. I'll take care of him,? the doctor said with a smile, and went into Koi's room. Meanwhile, Y?ru walked slowly home. When the doctor sat down on the edge of the bed, Koi started and unconsciously grasped the sleeve of his robe. He put a hand on Koi's head and tried to calm him down.
Where's Y?ru??
I sent him home, otherwise he'll get a fever. He doesn't get enough sleep because of you,' the doctor said with a smile. 'He's worried about you, but he wants your heart even more. Can I take a look at your injury?
Yes.” Koi said quietly and allowed the doctor to touch him. ‘I have to examine you completely today because I need to know how you react to the medication. Is that okay?”
A melody, gentle, pure, attractive. A ceaseless stream through his blood. A wave of feelings that are too big to grasp. An endless series of sounds combined into an endless melody. United with his heartbeat. Merged with his senses. Connected to his deep voice. Nothing else exists except for this melody, this song, this voice.
Nothing. Far and wide, no people, no animals, no plants. Only this moment into all eternity. No reality. No pain, no awakening from sweet dreams that will never be fulfilled. Just this one moment. Just for him. A dark room, without windows and if it had any he wouldn't see them and didn't want to. He didn't want to go back to reality that had hurt him so much.
No wounds, no blood, no pain. Nothing should exist anymore, only this voice. This pure, deep voice. A voice that screamed deep inside of him, calling him and wanting to wake him up, sometimes just to make him aware that someone was with him. But today it called for him, wanted to bring him back from his dream world and hold him in its arms again.
But if he opened his eyes, everything would be back. Pain, suffering, injuries. Everything, including his hated love that he could never accept. She was not real. She would destroy him, drag him down into the depths.
“Wake up again, please. Come on, you can't do that. You promised to listen to my songs until my voice could no longer sing, until I no longer wanted to sing.
And now you just tear yourself away, leave me alone and don't want to come back. Is that what you wanted to tell me when you walked between us smiling? Have you had enough of me? Do you want me to never sing again?
No. I want to keep listening to your songs, but I never want to feel this love again. I can't escape it when I see you, it hurts as if a thousand knives were stabbing me. Do you understand?
Yes. He said softly and looked down. Why didn't you wake up for so long?
Because I didn't want to. I just wanted to hear your songs, your voice, without seeing you. Because it wouldn't have hurt me. You have branded yourself into me without asking me. My chest is still burning from your touch. My hands still feel your hair and I still feel your kisses on my lips. He said softly and opened his eyes. His eyes were so shiny from the medication that you might think they were made of glass. But that didn't change their beauty. As green as an emerald. A radiance like a ring of precious stones.
“Why did you throw yourself in between?”
“If I hadn't, you might never have been able to sing again. Don't you know what he was aiming for?
No. My beloved said softly and looked his lover so rigidly in the eyes that he thought he would drown in them. The latter sat up slowly and held his finger to a spot about halfway up the other's chest, just below his throat. He stroked his finger slowly over it and approached him. When he touched the spot with his lips, he felt the fire burning him again.
Which pulled him close and tied them together. Tied them into a world that couldn't be accepted, not by him, not by his friends, not by the rest of the world. Not even the fans would let their star give him away.
Koi. Please stay with me. Just near me. You can't go so far away without me. Don't you even think about my feelings. Don't you think I'm burning in your fire. Do you think I'm without consequences with you. You have burned yourself into my heart as well. Don't you understand, or can't you? We are no longer able to be without each other. I need you to be able to sing and you need my songs to be able to exist. The other said and pulled Koi close. The other tensed up slightly and closed his eyes before he slowly put his hands on the other's back and clung on.
“Are you singing tonight?”
“Yes. At a popular club.”
“Then you should go slowly.” Koi said in a whisper and kissed him lightly on the shoulder. ‘Or do you want to disappoint your fans?’ At that moment, there was a tentative knock at the door. Koi lay down again and looked at the door.
“I don't want to disturb you, but we have to go. The concert is about to start, Y?ru.”
“I'll be right there,” Y?ru said and gave his manager a brief glance. When he had left, he looked back at Koi and stroked a finger over his lips. ‘I'm going to sing a new song today, just for you. Can you hear me?’ ”Maybe then you'll understand my feelings. I don't want to hold you in my arms, torn apart, but as a whole, and I also want your heart for me and your body and everything else about you.
I won't force you, but I'll break down if you don't finally come closer to me. I don't know where to put my feelings anymore, my songs are full of them. I am full of my passion, my longing, my love. I don't want to be with you anymore. It's enough for me if you're just around, you don't have to start a relationship. But don't let me freeze any longer.
Bat Y?ru asked quietly and leaned over him. He kissed him gently on the lips and felt the fire and passion even with this small touch. When he broke away from Koi, this kiss burned on his lips and Koi also felt this heat and put two fingers on his lips before he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep. The doctors gave him so many sedatives and painkillers that Koi could no longer fight it.
For the first few weeks, he slept a deep sleep that resembled a coma, but he kept hearing Y?ru's singing. His voice pulled him back into the painful reality. The suffering that their love brought with it. His body was hot in the places that Y?ru had touched; they burned inwards and ate into his heart, his bones.
“There you are, Y?ru. How is he?”
“He's exhausted. They're giving him so much sedative and pain medication that he can hardly move.”
Sedatives?
He screams in the night when he wakes up. He won't let the doctors touch him either. If someone touches him, he tries to run away all the time. That's why we give him this stuff. Otherwise we can't treat him. He once said under anesthesia that he was on fire. I don't know what's wrong with him. But if it continues, he needs a psychiatrist. We don't know what to do anymore. Said a doctor behind them.
He is healthy. This has nothing to do with his injury. He just needs time. Said Y?ru quietly and left.
Is he like that too?
No. Just don't touch the little one all the time. There are other reasons why he reacts like that. They have nothing to do with a shrink, but are of natural origin. Treat his injury and we'll take care of the rest. And don't let the press in here. Just the two of us and his parents. Understood?
Yes. The doctor said, perplexed, and watched the manager leave.
Then he went into Koi's room and was about to examine him when the boy opened his eyes and avoided his gaze. “I just want to look at your injury. I'll only touch you there. I promise,” the doctor said cautiously. Koi looked at him suspiciously but allowed the doctor to see the injury and didn't resist further. He was also too tired to fight.
Could I get a TV tonight?
Do you want to watch a movie?
No. A concert. Koi said quietly and watched the doctor's fingers as he treated his injury. A clean shot through his left shoulder.
“I'll have a TV made. You should sleep some more. I'll check on you later,” the doctor said and left. Koi looked out the window for a while and then lay down again. He fell asleep after a few moments and woke up when he heard someone open the door.
“Where would you prefer it?“ the nurse asked. ‘Should I put the TV by the window or here in front?”
“By the window.’ Koi said quietly and sat up.
“Do you need anything else?”
“No. Thank you.” Koi said quietly and took the remote control. He sat up halfway and leaned against the pillow behind him. When he turned on the TV, he wasn't surprised at all to see which channel was set. As always, most people in the hospital only saw one channel, the news. He searched for one of the music channels and got the right one right away, namely the one that would broadcast Y?ru's concert. Y?ru wasn't on stage yet, but there was already screaming.
Koi was always able to sit backstage and listen, because he was always editing the recordings for some time. Koi closed his eyes when the concert started and tried not to see Y?ru, but just to hear the songs. But he didn't quite succeed. Imperceptibly, his face crept into Koi's thoughts and when Koi noticed it, he left it at that. He loved Y?ru's eyes, the way she looked at him, the way they shone when he sang. He loved singing, but there was one thing he loved even more.
Koi felt the passion with which Y?ru sang today. He felt the closeness, the longing. His pleas for him. Suddenly Koi opened his eyes and stared at the TV. Y?ru was wearing the outfit again that Koi loved about him. A simple black shirt, black pants and his hair was down. It fell on his face and formed a silky veil of silver strands that fell on his shoulders.
Y?ru wore a silver cross around his neck with a small heart-shaped stone. “You can't do that.” Koi said quietly and ran both hands through his hair. He felt the burning heat on his body, his lips. Felt Y?ru's hair touching his. Smelled the sweet scent of the soft perfume that permeated Y?ru. Felt the delicate hands on his chest.
Koi closed his eyes and he knew that Y?ru had meant this song. This song, which was for him alone. Which only he could understand. Which conveyed Y?ru's feelings and sensations to him. After a while, Koi gently fell asleep to Y?ru's singing. He still felt the fire of passion that Y?ru had sent him. When he felt a touch on his shoulder, he woke up and pushed the hand aside.
“Stay calm. I just want to take a look at your injury,“ the doctor said soothingly.
“You're different from the other doctors.”
“Why?” “Because I care for you?”
“No. The others always examine me completely and hold me if I don't want to let them.”
You don't like being touched?
No.
Why?
Because it takes something else away from me.
What is this something else? The touch of a certain person?
Yes. Koi said quietly and looked at the TV.
I turned it off. The concert was long over and I thought the other music would just wake you up again.
Thank you.
He's worried about you. He asked about you twice today. He couldn't come here yet, but he said I should tell you that he's trying to come as soon as possible.
Silly. He knows he can't do that. They'll hold him and bombard him with questions until he's too tired to come here.
Why? Isn't it good for his image?
No. Only his manager lets him out every now and then.
He seems to care about you a lot.
Yes. I also edited his videos for a while.
And you listen to his songs. Not like those so-called fans who just scream and can't even hear what he's singing. The doctor said with a smile.
He has a beautiful voice. I love to listen to him.
Is he that certain person? the doctor asked cautiously. When Koi looked at him in confusion, he continued. You said yesterday that he can't do this to you.
How do you know that?
I was in the room. I sat on the chair, because I thought you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you up, so I just listened to the concert. You trembled when he sang that one song.
He made me understand something, or tried to.
It's his touch that you don't want to lose. Am I right?
Yes. My body is hot in the places he touched. It burns deeply.
Why are you so sad then?
Because it won't work. I can't give in to him. The only thing that would happen then would be to endure suffering and pain. What I want wouldn't come and what he wants I can't give him.
What does he want that you can't give him?
Everything. He wants everything from me. Koi said quietly and pulled himself together. His whole body felt hot. His lips burned from the kiss, which, as gentle as it was, had transmitted so much passion that he couldn't forget it.
“You should sleep. I'll check on you later.”
“You have to keep this to yourself,“ Koi said urgently, looking at him intently.
“I know. I won't say anything. Besides, I'd lose two patients otherwise.” The doctor said with a smile.
“Two?”
You and Y?ru. He asked me to take care of you. He told me to just take care of your wound and not to touch you unless it was necessary. I told you he was worried. Said the doctor and left. Koi lay down and closed his eyes. His body burned like fire. His lips felt the passion that blazed within him. His hands wanted to touch him. He slowly fell asleep and only woke up when he felt Y?ru's gentle hand in his hair and opened his eyes.
“How are you feeling?” The doctor said he wouldn't give you any more sedatives.
No. He doesn't. I'll be good and let him examine me, as long as he only touches me there. Koi said quietly and looked at the TV.
You saw the concert?
Yes. I also understood your message, but I can't give in to you. I feel like I'm on fire when I'm with you. All I want to do is touch you.
Then do it. I won't stop you.” Y?ru said desperately. ”I can't anymore. I want you to stay with me. It doesn't have to be forever, but at least for now.”
You're asking too much of me. I can't give you everything. I can't even give you enough without withdrawing.” Koi said quietly and sat down. When he approached Y?ru, the latter embraced him tenderly and kissed him passionately on the lips. Koi wanted to escape from him but his strength was not enough emotionally.
He wanted to stay with him, but he was also afraid of the longing that had grown so immeasurably within him that it hurt him. He clung to Y?ru and didn't want to let go of him anymore. He only wanted to be with him, to feel the passion, to feel Y?ru's lips, to absorb his kisses inside. He wanted to dig his hands into Y?ru's back and never let him go again. But when he felt his inner fear, he pulled himself away and looked at Y?ru, breathing heavily.
Don't withdraw again and again. I can't do that. I want to hold you tight once you're close and I want to pull you to me.? Y?ru said quietly. Koi felt the flames on his back, his hip. Everywhere Y?ru had touched him again. He felt Y?ru's lips on his and tasted the sweet flavor of his tongue. He still felt Y?ru touching his hair and on his own hands he still felt Y?ru's heartbeat, although he didn't touch it anymore.
“It burns.” Koi said quietly. He lay down slowly and looked Y?ru in the eyes. The latter looked at him worriedly. ‘It hurts when you touch me, but I still don't want it to stop. I don't want to be touched by anyone else. Only by you, but I can't accept it.’ Koi said quietly and looked at the window.
The moonlight played in his eyes, refracting several times and making Koi's eyes shine. Y?ru laid his head on Koi's stomach and a hand on his chest. Koi gently stroked his hair and touched Y?ru's lips with a finger. “I'm sorry. I know I'm hurting you, but I can't help it.
I know, but then why can't you at least be close to me. I only want you to stay with me. That's all I ask of you.” Y?ru said softly and closed his eyes.
“Give me time.” Koi whispered and fell asleep. Y?ru looked at him gently and kissed him again on the lips. Koi returned the kiss without waking up and turned to the side. Y?ru left the room quietly and ran both hands through his hair.
“How are you?” the doctor asked cautiously and looked at him with concern.
“I don't know either. I want it, but I can't hold it.”
“That's normal. Love is a game. Give it the time it needs. He's confused and your closeness makes it worse. You're crowding him without wanting to or realizing it. He's not sure yet and that's why he avoids you. But overall, he feels attracted to you.” The doctor said calmly and put a hand on Y?ru's forehead.
“How would you know?”
“He told me. Now you'd better go home. You'll catch a cold if you don't get enough sleep.”
“How am I supposed to sleep when he's on my mind?”
Try. I'll take care of him,? the doctor said with a smile, and went into Koi's room. Meanwhile, Y?ru walked slowly home. When the doctor sat down on the edge of the bed, Koi started and unconsciously grasped the sleeve of his robe. He put a hand on Koi's head and tried to calm him down.
Where's Y?ru??
I sent him home, otherwise he'll get a fever. He doesn't get enough sleep because of you,' the doctor said with a smile. 'He's worried about you, but he wants your heart even more. Can I take a look at your injury?
Yes.” Koi said quietly and allowed the doctor to touch him. ‘I have to examine you completely today because I need to know how you react to the medication. Is that okay?”