07-11-2025, 04:35 PM
Crowfolk
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a wall around me. A wall made of sticks and dried moss and small, soft feathers.
And I was not alone. There was someone else lying next to me. It was wearing feathers like I had and its little head was lying on the ground, eyes closed. It smelled strange here. Very strange. I looked up and saw many green leaves above me, with a piece of blue sky in between.
Suddenly, a large, black shadow appeared and, accompanied by a strong wind, sat on the edge of the nest. It perched majestically on the edge of the nest and uttered a loud “krah?”.
She threw something into the nest and let herself fall from the edge of the nest into the depths again. Curiously, I took a closer look at the something. It must have been a mouse, which she brought to us. I greedily snatched at the ball and that's when my little brother woke up too. We tugged vigorously at the dead mouse and somehow I didn't even find the taste disgusting.
The first days and weeks passed by. Sometimes it was quite unpleasant when it rained and my brother and I got wet like cats. But mostly mom came in time and sat on us. It was so nice to feel the rain pattering and at the same time feel mom's warmth on you. Dad also helped feed us, but not very often. By the way, Dad didn't come back at all anymore, and we didn't know why.
One day, Mama sat down on the edge of the nest and brought nothing to eat. She cawed eerily for the first time, fluttered onto a branch not far from our nest and just looked at my brother and me. We were ravenously hungry and couldn't understand why we were suddenly getting nothing. I got up, crawled to the edge of the nest and shouted at my mom.
?Krah, krah, krah.?
But she didn't react at all. I spread my wings and fluttered with rage. She just sat there, then hopped onto a branch that was even further away. Full of anger because I was hungry, I tried to get to her. With one leap I plunged from the nest? and below me was nothing.
Only a few meters to the ground. I began to flap my wings violently and clumsily and landed in the middle of the tangle of leaves in the tree. Completely horrified, I got up and looked up at Mama. Why wasn't I allowed to go to her, why didn't she give us anything to eat?
My brother was still sitting on the edge of the nest, crowing for all he was worth. All of a sudden he began to flap his wings and managed to get onto the next branch without falling. Mama flew a little further and he followed. So that's how it was. We had to learn to fly. Clumsily, I hopped onto the next branch more than I flew, but it got better with each attempt. I even dared to aim for the next tree, where Mama was now sitting. And before you knew it, I was there.
After a while, Mama returned to the nest and we followed her. A little later, we also got something to eat and so the next two days passed.
Then mom suddenly flew away. We saw that she was flying to the field on the other side of the road, the one that had just been harvested. We often see her running back and forth there. So she must have gotten our food from there.
I boldly took off and suddenly it was easy. Just flapping my wings, that's all I had to do. Well, yes, I had to use my tail feathers for steering, but we had yet to learn that. Of course, the landing in the field was anything but happy; you might say it was a belly landing.
So we picked our first meal directly ourselves, and there was also a grasshopper or a beetle to catch.
But whenever we were out and about, we looked out for mom. If she uttered a short sound and took off, we followed immediately. Then humans or dogs were nearby and instinctively we knew that they could not be trusted, even if they were still further away.
Always keep a good distance from them was the motto. Flying got better and better and one day my brother had disappeared. I was suddenly drawn away from here too. To see something else, especially from above.
I saw Mama flying next to me, then she called to me one last time, “Krah,” turned and I was alone.
I was sad, but also curious about the new world. Flying was wonderful. Sometimes I was carried by updrafts, very high, up to the clouds. I also learned to recognize my companions in the air. Where they were numerous, there was always something to eat.
Slowly the days became shorter, the nights cooler. That didn't bother me, my feathers provided excellent protection against the cold and wind.
Then I noticed that more and more companions were out and about in the forest and meadows, including some that looked different from me. Large, chunky beaks, which were usually almost white. But there was no dispute among us, there was enough food for everyone.
I learned to join the huge flocks. There were always some that didn't search for food on the ground.
A few were perched in the trees all around, watching the area. Our lookouts. Every few hours, there was a change of lookout and it was the older ones among us who had experience in matters of danger.
It was quite an impressive sight when they raised the alarm and we took off in our hundreds, usually with a lot of noise. Then we moved a few kilometers further, and the game began again.
Well, and then the day came when I was assigned to the alarm post too. An older crow came up to me, nudged me with his beak and shooed me up the nearest tree. A 'colleague' was already sitting there looking at me.
'All right?' he suddenly asked.
I was startled, because I had never talked to anyone here before, not even with Mama. You just understood each other.
“Yes, I am,“ I replied, puzzled.
We weren't really talking to each other; it was a kind of communication without words. You could feel word for word what the other person was thinking.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“Stopped here. Did you fly here?”
He chuckled.
“That's not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?”
You didn't turn into a crow just because it was meant to be, did you?”
Suddenly I knew what he meant. Of course. Suddenly it all came back to me. Like a long movie, the events played out. In disbelief, I looked at my neighbor.
“You're right?”
“That's what I said?”
“And you, what about you?”
“I'm here voluntarily, too.”
The images of the past became clearer and clearer. And now I took a deep breath, looked around from the tall tree. The clouds above us, our company down there, the river on the horizon glistening in the sun. Yes, that's exactly what I had wanted. Back then...
“Do you want to tell me?” My neighbor asked.
“Wait a moment, I'm still missing a few details...”
I thought hard and after a while the memories were in my head without gaps.
“Now, yes?”
We looked around, there was nothing suspicious to be seen, so I began to tell him my story. I had suppressed it, which was probably wise. But now I realized why I was here and suddenly happy, too.
I was a boy and grew up with pretty rich people. Well protected, you could say. I would also say that I wasn't stupid, because school didn't cause me any problems. They came from a completely different direction.
I wondered if I should say it, but as things were now, nothing could ever happen.
“And from what?” my neighbor wanted to know.
“I noticed when I was about 15 that I... well... I looked more at pretty boys and girls really left me cold.”
“So you were gay?”
“Exactly.” ”The realization was nothing special for me. I came to terms with it after a while and it was okay for me. But there were these few boys at school who annoyed me as soon as I saw them.
I thought I heard a happy giggle?
Anyway, one day it came to a first experience. Daniel, one of the parallel class, came to my house. He wanted to listen to a new CD that I had bought. We sat on my bed and listened to the music. And suddenly he began to caress me. It was so beautiful. I did nothing, just lay there and enjoyed it. Then he even gave me a kiss, the first of my life.
I dared to look at my neighbor, and suddenly he had a really enraptured look.
“Daniel?” he said curtly.
Suddenly there was wing fluttering and shouting.
“You idiots, can't you see that?!”
We turned around in shock and saw the group of people stumbling across the meadows and heading straight for our comrades.
Three cries of alarm were enough to send the flock into the air.
“Are you out of your minds?!”
Apparently it was the head crow, the oldest of the bunch.
“You won't be getting another post for a while. March!”
Remorseful about our carelessness, we followed the pack, which was now heading for the river to search the banks for rotting fish, snails and mussels.
We settled down on the bank, keeping our distance, beset by the suspicious glances of some of our comrades.
“Do we really have to go with them?” I asked my companion.
“Not really, but it's safer. You never know if they won't be allowed to hunt us again one day, the dear humans. And if you go alone, then...splash! You'll be lying in the field and some mangy hunter's dog will retrieve you.”
I shook my feathers. He was right, of course.
But you can follow the pack at a decent distance. Look how they poke and dig. Always close together. Crows are social birds, you know that. Yes, of course. Come on, let's sit in the trees over there, I want to hear the rest of your story.
Crows are gregarious birds, you know that.
Yes, sure.
Come on, let's perch over there in those trees, I want to hear more of your story.
We flew to one of the poplars on the bank and let the September sun shine on our feathers.
So what was it like? Your first kiss?
Yes, it was so beautiful. And it tasted good too.
So you really were really gay?
I already said that. Daniel became my boyfriend for two years.
And then?
Then he moved away. Not voluntarily, he had to move away with his parents.
Oh?
Yes, it was a disaster for both of us. We talked on the phone, wrote e-mails and sent text messages every day. But as it is, over time that diminished.
And then?
My companion was remarkably curious.
At first I was just frustrated. I didn't want anyone else, my heart was still with Daniel, even though our contact slowly broke down.
A gust of wind rushed through the tree and we had to hold on.
“It doesn't seem to be long until the first autumn storm,” said my companion.
I looked around anxiously. So far it had been pleasant, but now autumn and winter were just around the corner. Had I considered that?
And then, yes, I was doing my apprenticeship as a car mechanic. There was one guy at vocational school who once again confused my head.
What came of it?
Yes, it did. But that's when the trouble started. He already had a boyfriend and he was quite jealous. Sandro wanted to break up with him, but Timo didn't want to.
“Sandro? Timo?”
My companion stared at me.
“Yes, that was his name.”
“Have you met him?”
“Timo?” ”Not really.”
“And then?”
“Well, it wasn't easy. Timo was really terrorizing me. He called Sandro, sent him text messages and e-mails. One day I told Sandro he had to decide.”
“And what did he do?”
He decided to stay with me. But Timo just wouldn't let up. It was hell. Timo sometimes lurked outside my front door and made sure we saw him. Not to mention at school. He sat a row behind us, and I felt his gaze in my back every second. During the breaks, he would stand so that he could watch our every move. It was really pure terror.
And you never talked to Timo?
Yes, once, in gym class, I knocked him down with a foul and fell on him. He should stop this shit immediately. I told him Sandro doesn't want anything to do with you anymore.
And he?
This is none of your business. Sandro belongs to me.
Nothing more.
No, nothing more. He didn't stop spying on us either.
Meanwhile it was getting dark. Time to go to the sleeping trees on the other side of the river. I wouldn't have minded being alone underground, but at night I was glad to sleep close together in the trees.
I liked to hide in the middle of my comrades, because every now and then an owl would get one of us and that was always at the edge outside. We also had our watchmen overnight, but owls were silent, fast and unerring. It was almost impossible to warn against them. But during the day there was a scolding when one of us spotted an owl in its sleeping tree.
But that also happened with buzzards and hawks. They were hunted until they left voluntarily.
We flew over and the wind was already unpleasantly cool. It wouldn't be long before the first night frost hit.
I hopped, together with my companion, into the interior of the foliage. Outside, mostly the old ones slept. It was amazing how the social system worked here. They protected the young with their own lives.
One day I would probably have to sit out there, waiting for a bird of prey to come and get me, just to make sure the young didn't get hurt. But I also knew that we could live to be over 60 years old. Almost as long as a human life.
We turned our bodies into the wind and ruffled up our feathers. It was blissfully warm and there was no sign of cold. I didn't want to chat anymore, so I closed my eyes slowly. A gripping mechanism in the feet prevented the birds from falling out of the tree in their sleep. You only had to be careful in a storm.
And so I dozed off into the late twilight. Occasionally a couple of comrades squabbled with croaking, but otherwise it was quiet in the colony.
“Say,” my neighbor asked, ”were you happy being gay?”
“Yes?”
“Were you happy being gay?”
I stretched comfortably in my feathers.
“Oh yes. Definitely?”
? Night, I heard.
“Good night.”
The next morning it rained. I had hated rain before. Although my feathers kept the water out, it was still anything but pleasant. I woke up early, most of the flock were still sitting there, snoozing. They too were not thrilled about the weather and only a few flew up, probably because they were hungry.
My companion blinked discontentedly.
“Bloody weather.”
I just nodded. But then I got hungry too. I didn't feel like going on a search.
“Shall we go to the office?”
My companion looked at me.
“To the office?”
? Yes, the feed factory. When loading into the wagons, enough always falls off.?
We fly for half an hour??
So what? The table is set for it.?
He nodded wearily, and we took off, flying at a low altitude to the north.
There was no danger early in the morning, in the rain and hazy visibility. Suddenly I saw a kite. He was sweeping low over the fields below us. These fellows were also after us, especially the young birds in the nest.
“Krah!“ I shouted.
My companion followed my gaze and saw the bird of prey too.
“Let's get him!” I shouted.
A quick nod and we folded our wings against our bodies. Man, what a feeling. The wind started to whistle, we picked up speed and pounced on the kite. Of course, it had seen us coming and deftly dodged us.
But our tactic was to be persistent. We attacked him again and again, swooping down on him. Sometimes he threatened us with his claws, but that didn't bother us. He couldn't do anything about two, he was too distracted by that.
After several minutes of aerial combat, he flew on angrily, but we didn't let up. Again and again we attacked him, at least we tried. He skillfully turned towards us at ground level and set his claws.
But the moment he turned back in the direction of flight, he crossed the railroad tracks. We only saw feathers flying and his body flying into the field when he hit the window of the locomotive.
“Hey, that was a really good exit,” my companion called out to me.
I nodded and we turned away.
Almost out of breath, we arrived at the office and filled our bellies.
The rain had stopped and we sat contentedly on top of the office silo. A few comrades had arrived in the meantime and we watched them from above.
“So, what was that about Timo?”
I shook out my feathers and squinted in the sun, which was slowly coming out from behind the clouds and beginning to dry our plumage.
“Then the day came when Timo suddenly showed up.”
“At your house?”
“Yes. Sandro wasn't there and Timo wanted to talk to him. I told him to leave, but not that Sandro wasn't with me. So he lashed out and hit me right in the face.?
?What??
?Yes, I think today he was totally distraught. I went down and was out for a while. The last thing I remember was Timo running out of the house. He must have been looking for Daniel..?
?And where was Sandro??
He wanted to go shopping with some friends. That's not my thing, so I stayed at home and waited for him. When he came home, saw me lying on the bed and I had to explain to him what had happened to my swollen cheek, he went crazy. “I'm going to kill him now,” he shouted and rushed out of the house.
What did he want to kill Timo?
Yes, those were his exact words. Of course you say things like that just like that. But I was still afraid that he would do something stupid. So I got up shortly after and ran out of the house. But I didn't know where Timo lived and Sandro had long since disappeared anyway.
Man, you've probably been through a lot.
I looked at my companion.
“Tell me, I'm laying my life out in front of you here and I don't know anything about you.”
He seemed to be grinning.
“Do you mean?”
“How should I understand that?”
“First finish your story.”
Curious to hear what he had to tell me, I let myself be blackmailed.
I went back into the house, lay down on my bed and looked for something to read. I didn't want anything strenuous, just something to distract me. And there was a magazine on my bedside table. Something about nature. I took it and there was an article about the life of crows. How they lived. And I thought to myself, if I were to be born again, I would want to be born as a crow. I couldn't find any disadvantages.”
My companion seemed to be smiling again.
“And what happened then?”
“The really incredible thing.” ”One afternoon I came home from school. Sandro wanted to go shopping in town again and come to me. But Timo was standing in front of my door. I knew him to some extent, but the look I got was eerie. Angry, evil.”
“What more do you want?” I hissed at him.
“That you leave Sandro alone?”
“Sorry, I can't do that. We love each other and you know it. Just understand: it's over, he doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore.”
“No, that's your opinion. You influenced him, took him away from me. He doesn't want anything to do with you, you persuaded him.”
Do you even understand the nonsense you are talking about?
His eyes sparkled.
That's not nonsense. Do you want to talk about it with me?
I thought to myself, it can't do any harm, even if I didn't feel like it.
And then?
We started walking. A few minutes away from our house there was a small park. We sat down on a bench and suddenly Timo started talking. About his feelings, his life, just about everything. I understood him, but I hated the fact that he didn't want to let go of Sandro. Suddenly Timo looked at me, stood up and stood in front of me.
“You will never see Sandro again!” he shouted.
And he had a pistol in his hand. I was paralyzed, thought it was a joke, just to intimidate me. But I realized very quickly that what he had in his hand was no toy.
My companion looked at me.
And then?
I only heard the shot, nothing more.”
“Timo?”
“...shot at me, yes. It took a while for me to come to. I had no idea where I was. There was no sensation. No cold, warmth, heat... nothing. A strange state. And then I saw the last few seconds again. That small flash of fire from the pistol, the little cloud of smoke afterwards. I felt the bullet hit my chest, break a rib and penetrate my heart. The brief pain as it went through my back and probably flew out somewhere. How I slumped down and then it was over.
My companion was breathing heavily, as if he couldn't get any air.
And then you were here?
Yes, in the nest. I had wished to become a crow after my death, and that has been fulfilled.
I paused.
Now, though, I'm missing your story.
We didn't get around to it, people were walking around the grounds of the office and were quite noisy.
We took off, heading for the landfill. There was always something to eat there, and we also had company. Lots of seagulls were around, and sometimes I couldn't help but compare it to Hitchcock's “The Birds”.
My companion and I ended up in an area where there were no excavators and it smelled quite delicious like food. We poked around in the garbage and a little later we flew to the outskirts. A small train station and the people there regularly threw leftovers from who knows what onto the tracks.
After we had gorged ourselves – especially on a rabbit that had probably been run over – we flew to a nearby electricity pylon.
“Well, what about you?” I asked my companion.
“Similar to you. I had fallen in love too. With a handsome boy.”
I stared at him.
“You were gay too?”
He crowed.
“Yes, what did you think?” I would never have listened to all this otherwise.
“And?”
“Yes, yes, as I said, the boy was very handsome. And he was my great love. He returned it too. But one day, someone else came between us. And I wanted to get away from him.”
At that moment it dawned on me.
“What was your name in your human life?” I wanted to know from him.
“Sandro. And you?”
“Damian.”
I didn't know what else to say. Coincidence? Never. I looked at him, and he looked at me.
“You're not Sandro?”
“Oh yes. That's me. As sure as you are Damian.”
My beak was open.
“But... how did you get here?”
“Ever since I was a child, I wished I could be as free and easy as a bird. And because crows live so long... I wished I could become one someday.”
“Yes, but how did it come to... I mean, you being here?”
Timo came to me one evening, completely distraught. He told me that he had done something stupid and that he was sorry and a lot of other nonsense. I didn't understand what he really wanted.
And then?
He suddenly showed me the gun and said that he had shot Damian, that is, you. I told him not to talk shit, and tried to take the gun from him. We struggled, and then I heard a shot. But I didn't die right away. I must have passed out, but I saw Timo put the gun to his head and heard the bang.
Timo is probably not alive with that either. Did he ever say what he wanted to become in a next life?
Sandro thought, then looked at me in shock.
A bird of prey.
I was taken aback.
A bird of prey... A kite maybe?
Possible.
We were silent for a while.
And that's how you ended up here. I don't believe it... Sandro...?
Fate probably wanted it this way?
I snuggled up to him while a train rushed by below us and the wind blew through our feathers. Sandro gently rubbed his beak against mine.
We'll never be together like we would be in human life. But we can stay together for a very long time,? he said softly.
Hey, we always wanted to fly south, didn't we? I said.
Yes, we did.
What's stopping us?
Nothing, really.
With a loud cry, we took off, climbed into the sky and turned south. Flying alongside my sweetheart was simply wonderful. He no longer looked like my Sandro, but I didn't care.
Higher and higher we rose into the evening sky. We left the sleeping trees, in which our comrades were already sitting, below us, and said goodbye to the area.
With light wing beats we rowed towards the warmth and summer.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a wall around me. A wall made of sticks and dried moss and small, soft feathers.
And I was not alone. There was someone else lying next to me. It was wearing feathers like I had and its little head was lying on the ground, eyes closed. It smelled strange here. Very strange. I looked up and saw many green leaves above me, with a piece of blue sky in between.
Suddenly, a large, black shadow appeared and, accompanied by a strong wind, sat on the edge of the nest. It perched majestically on the edge of the nest and uttered a loud “krah?”.
She threw something into the nest and let herself fall from the edge of the nest into the depths again. Curiously, I took a closer look at the something. It must have been a mouse, which she brought to us. I greedily snatched at the ball and that's when my little brother woke up too. We tugged vigorously at the dead mouse and somehow I didn't even find the taste disgusting.
The first days and weeks passed by. Sometimes it was quite unpleasant when it rained and my brother and I got wet like cats. But mostly mom came in time and sat on us. It was so nice to feel the rain pattering and at the same time feel mom's warmth on you. Dad also helped feed us, but not very often. By the way, Dad didn't come back at all anymore, and we didn't know why.
One day, Mama sat down on the edge of the nest and brought nothing to eat. She cawed eerily for the first time, fluttered onto a branch not far from our nest and just looked at my brother and me. We were ravenously hungry and couldn't understand why we were suddenly getting nothing. I got up, crawled to the edge of the nest and shouted at my mom.
?Krah, krah, krah.?
But she didn't react at all. I spread my wings and fluttered with rage. She just sat there, then hopped onto a branch that was even further away. Full of anger because I was hungry, I tried to get to her. With one leap I plunged from the nest? and below me was nothing.
Only a few meters to the ground. I began to flap my wings violently and clumsily and landed in the middle of the tangle of leaves in the tree. Completely horrified, I got up and looked up at Mama. Why wasn't I allowed to go to her, why didn't she give us anything to eat?
My brother was still sitting on the edge of the nest, crowing for all he was worth. All of a sudden he began to flap his wings and managed to get onto the next branch without falling. Mama flew a little further and he followed. So that's how it was. We had to learn to fly. Clumsily, I hopped onto the next branch more than I flew, but it got better with each attempt. I even dared to aim for the next tree, where Mama was now sitting. And before you knew it, I was there.
After a while, Mama returned to the nest and we followed her. A little later, we also got something to eat and so the next two days passed.
Then mom suddenly flew away. We saw that she was flying to the field on the other side of the road, the one that had just been harvested. We often see her running back and forth there. So she must have gotten our food from there.
I boldly took off and suddenly it was easy. Just flapping my wings, that's all I had to do. Well, yes, I had to use my tail feathers for steering, but we had yet to learn that. Of course, the landing in the field was anything but happy; you might say it was a belly landing.
So we picked our first meal directly ourselves, and there was also a grasshopper or a beetle to catch.
But whenever we were out and about, we looked out for mom. If she uttered a short sound and took off, we followed immediately. Then humans or dogs were nearby and instinctively we knew that they could not be trusted, even if they were still further away.
Always keep a good distance from them was the motto. Flying got better and better and one day my brother had disappeared. I was suddenly drawn away from here too. To see something else, especially from above.
I saw Mama flying next to me, then she called to me one last time, “Krah,” turned and I was alone.
I was sad, but also curious about the new world. Flying was wonderful. Sometimes I was carried by updrafts, very high, up to the clouds. I also learned to recognize my companions in the air. Where they were numerous, there was always something to eat.
Slowly the days became shorter, the nights cooler. That didn't bother me, my feathers provided excellent protection against the cold and wind.
Then I noticed that more and more companions were out and about in the forest and meadows, including some that looked different from me. Large, chunky beaks, which were usually almost white. But there was no dispute among us, there was enough food for everyone.
I learned to join the huge flocks. There were always some that didn't search for food on the ground.
A few were perched in the trees all around, watching the area. Our lookouts. Every few hours, there was a change of lookout and it was the older ones among us who had experience in matters of danger.
It was quite an impressive sight when they raised the alarm and we took off in our hundreds, usually with a lot of noise. Then we moved a few kilometers further, and the game began again.
Well, and then the day came when I was assigned to the alarm post too. An older crow came up to me, nudged me with his beak and shooed me up the nearest tree. A 'colleague' was already sitting there looking at me.
'All right?' he suddenly asked.
I was startled, because I had never talked to anyone here before, not even with Mama. You just understood each other.
“Yes, I am,“ I replied, puzzled.
We weren't really talking to each other; it was a kind of communication without words. You could feel word for word what the other person was thinking.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“Stopped here. Did you fly here?”
He chuckled.
“That's not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?”
You didn't turn into a crow just because it was meant to be, did you?”
Suddenly I knew what he meant. Of course. Suddenly it all came back to me. Like a long movie, the events played out. In disbelief, I looked at my neighbor.
“You're right?”
“That's what I said?”
“And you, what about you?”
“I'm here voluntarily, too.”
The images of the past became clearer and clearer. And now I took a deep breath, looked around from the tall tree. The clouds above us, our company down there, the river on the horizon glistening in the sun. Yes, that's exactly what I had wanted. Back then...
“Do you want to tell me?” My neighbor asked.
“Wait a moment, I'm still missing a few details...”
I thought hard and after a while the memories were in my head without gaps.
“Now, yes?”
We looked around, there was nothing suspicious to be seen, so I began to tell him my story. I had suppressed it, which was probably wise. But now I realized why I was here and suddenly happy, too.
I was a boy and grew up with pretty rich people. Well protected, you could say. I would also say that I wasn't stupid, because school didn't cause me any problems. They came from a completely different direction.
I wondered if I should say it, but as things were now, nothing could ever happen.
“And from what?” my neighbor wanted to know.
“I noticed when I was about 15 that I... well... I looked more at pretty boys and girls really left me cold.”
“So you were gay?”
“Exactly.” ”The realization was nothing special for me. I came to terms with it after a while and it was okay for me. But there were these few boys at school who annoyed me as soon as I saw them.
I thought I heard a happy giggle?
Anyway, one day it came to a first experience. Daniel, one of the parallel class, came to my house. He wanted to listen to a new CD that I had bought. We sat on my bed and listened to the music. And suddenly he began to caress me. It was so beautiful. I did nothing, just lay there and enjoyed it. Then he even gave me a kiss, the first of my life.
I dared to look at my neighbor, and suddenly he had a really enraptured look.
“Daniel?” he said curtly.
Suddenly there was wing fluttering and shouting.
“You idiots, can't you see that?!”
We turned around in shock and saw the group of people stumbling across the meadows and heading straight for our comrades.
Three cries of alarm were enough to send the flock into the air.
“Are you out of your minds?!”
Apparently it was the head crow, the oldest of the bunch.
“You won't be getting another post for a while. March!”
Remorseful about our carelessness, we followed the pack, which was now heading for the river to search the banks for rotting fish, snails and mussels.
We settled down on the bank, keeping our distance, beset by the suspicious glances of some of our comrades.
“Do we really have to go with them?” I asked my companion.
“Not really, but it's safer. You never know if they won't be allowed to hunt us again one day, the dear humans. And if you go alone, then...splash! You'll be lying in the field and some mangy hunter's dog will retrieve you.”
I shook my feathers. He was right, of course.
But you can follow the pack at a decent distance. Look how they poke and dig. Always close together. Crows are social birds, you know that. Yes, of course. Come on, let's sit in the trees over there, I want to hear the rest of your story.
Crows are gregarious birds, you know that.
Yes, sure.
Come on, let's perch over there in those trees, I want to hear more of your story.
We flew to one of the poplars on the bank and let the September sun shine on our feathers.
So what was it like? Your first kiss?
Yes, it was so beautiful. And it tasted good too.
So you really were really gay?
I already said that. Daniel became my boyfriend for two years.
And then?
Then he moved away. Not voluntarily, he had to move away with his parents.
Oh?
Yes, it was a disaster for both of us. We talked on the phone, wrote e-mails and sent text messages every day. But as it is, over time that diminished.
And then?
My companion was remarkably curious.
At first I was just frustrated. I didn't want anyone else, my heart was still with Daniel, even though our contact slowly broke down.
A gust of wind rushed through the tree and we had to hold on.
“It doesn't seem to be long until the first autumn storm,” said my companion.
I looked around anxiously. So far it had been pleasant, but now autumn and winter were just around the corner. Had I considered that?
And then, yes, I was doing my apprenticeship as a car mechanic. There was one guy at vocational school who once again confused my head.
What came of it?
Yes, it did. But that's when the trouble started. He already had a boyfriend and he was quite jealous. Sandro wanted to break up with him, but Timo didn't want to.
“Sandro? Timo?”
My companion stared at me.
“Yes, that was his name.”
“Have you met him?”
“Timo?” ”Not really.”
“And then?”
“Well, it wasn't easy. Timo was really terrorizing me. He called Sandro, sent him text messages and e-mails. One day I told Sandro he had to decide.”
“And what did he do?”
He decided to stay with me. But Timo just wouldn't let up. It was hell. Timo sometimes lurked outside my front door and made sure we saw him. Not to mention at school. He sat a row behind us, and I felt his gaze in my back every second. During the breaks, he would stand so that he could watch our every move. It was really pure terror.
And you never talked to Timo?
Yes, once, in gym class, I knocked him down with a foul and fell on him. He should stop this shit immediately. I told him Sandro doesn't want anything to do with you anymore.
And he?
This is none of your business. Sandro belongs to me.
Nothing more.
No, nothing more. He didn't stop spying on us either.
Meanwhile it was getting dark. Time to go to the sleeping trees on the other side of the river. I wouldn't have minded being alone underground, but at night I was glad to sleep close together in the trees.
I liked to hide in the middle of my comrades, because every now and then an owl would get one of us and that was always at the edge outside. We also had our watchmen overnight, but owls were silent, fast and unerring. It was almost impossible to warn against them. But during the day there was a scolding when one of us spotted an owl in its sleeping tree.
But that also happened with buzzards and hawks. They were hunted until they left voluntarily.
We flew over and the wind was already unpleasantly cool. It wouldn't be long before the first night frost hit.
I hopped, together with my companion, into the interior of the foliage. Outside, mostly the old ones slept. It was amazing how the social system worked here. They protected the young with their own lives.
One day I would probably have to sit out there, waiting for a bird of prey to come and get me, just to make sure the young didn't get hurt. But I also knew that we could live to be over 60 years old. Almost as long as a human life.
We turned our bodies into the wind and ruffled up our feathers. It was blissfully warm and there was no sign of cold. I didn't want to chat anymore, so I closed my eyes slowly. A gripping mechanism in the feet prevented the birds from falling out of the tree in their sleep. You only had to be careful in a storm.
And so I dozed off into the late twilight. Occasionally a couple of comrades squabbled with croaking, but otherwise it was quiet in the colony.
“Say,” my neighbor asked, ”were you happy being gay?”
“Yes?”
“Were you happy being gay?”
I stretched comfortably in my feathers.
“Oh yes. Definitely?”
? Night, I heard.
“Good night.”
The next morning it rained. I had hated rain before. Although my feathers kept the water out, it was still anything but pleasant. I woke up early, most of the flock were still sitting there, snoozing. They too were not thrilled about the weather and only a few flew up, probably because they were hungry.
My companion blinked discontentedly.
“Bloody weather.”
I just nodded. But then I got hungry too. I didn't feel like going on a search.
“Shall we go to the office?”
My companion looked at me.
“To the office?”
? Yes, the feed factory. When loading into the wagons, enough always falls off.?
We fly for half an hour??
So what? The table is set for it.?
He nodded wearily, and we took off, flying at a low altitude to the north.
There was no danger early in the morning, in the rain and hazy visibility. Suddenly I saw a kite. He was sweeping low over the fields below us. These fellows were also after us, especially the young birds in the nest.
“Krah!“ I shouted.
My companion followed my gaze and saw the bird of prey too.
“Let's get him!” I shouted.
A quick nod and we folded our wings against our bodies. Man, what a feeling. The wind started to whistle, we picked up speed and pounced on the kite. Of course, it had seen us coming and deftly dodged us.
But our tactic was to be persistent. We attacked him again and again, swooping down on him. Sometimes he threatened us with his claws, but that didn't bother us. He couldn't do anything about two, he was too distracted by that.
After several minutes of aerial combat, he flew on angrily, but we didn't let up. Again and again we attacked him, at least we tried. He skillfully turned towards us at ground level and set his claws.
But the moment he turned back in the direction of flight, he crossed the railroad tracks. We only saw feathers flying and his body flying into the field when he hit the window of the locomotive.
“Hey, that was a really good exit,” my companion called out to me.
I nodded and we turned away.
Almost out of breath, we arrived at the office and filled our bellies.
The rain had stopped and we sat contentedly on top of the office silo. A few comrades had arrived in the meantime and we watched them from above.
“So, what was that about Timo?”
I shook out my feathers and squinted in the sun, which was slowly coming out from behind the clouds and beginning to dry our plumage.
“Then the day came when Timo suddenly showed up.”
“At your house?”
“Yes. Sandro wasn't there and Timo wanted to talk to him. I told him to leave, but not that Sandro wasn't with me. So he lashed out and hit me right in the face.?
?What??
?Yes, I think today he was totally distraught. I went down and was out for a while. The last thing I remember was Timo running out of the house. He must have been looking for Daniel..?
?And where was Sandro??
He wanted to go shopping with some friends. That's not my thing, so I stayed at home and waited for him. When he came home, saw me lying on the bed and I had to explain to him what had happened to my swollen cheek, he went crazy. “I'm going to kill him now,” he shouted and rushed out of the house.
What did he want to kill Timo?
Yes, those were his exact words. Of course you say things like that just like that. But I was still afraid that he would do something stupid. So I got up shortly after and ran out of the house. But I didn't know where Timo lived and Sandro had long since disappeared anyway.
Man, you've probably been through a lot.
I looked at my companion.
“Tell me, I'm laying my life out in front of you here and I don't know anything about you.”
He seemed to be grinning.
“Do you mean?”
“How should I understand that?”
“First finish your story.”
Curious to hear what he had to tell me, I let myself be blackmailed.
I went back into the house, lay down on my bed and looked for something to read. I didn't want anything strenuous, just something to distract me. And there was a magazine on my bedside table. Something about nature. I took it and there was an article about the life of crows. How they lived. And I thought to myself, if I were to be born again, I would want to be born as a crow. I couldn't find any disadvantages.”
My companion seemed to be smiling again.
“And what happened then?”
“The really incredible thing.” ”One afternoon I came home from school. Sandro wanted to go shopping in town again and come to me. But Timo was standing in front of my door. I knew him to some extent, but the look I got was eerie. Angry, evil.”
“What more do you want?” I hissed at him.
“That you leave Sandro alone?”
“Sorry, I can't do that. We love each other and you know it. Just understand: it's over, he doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore.”
“No, that's your opinion. You influenced him, took him away from me. He doesn't want anything to do with you, you persuaded him.”
Do you even understand the nonsense you are talking about?
His eyes sparkled.
That's not nonsense. Do you want to talk about it with me?
I thought to myself, it can't do any harm, even if I didn't feel like it.
And then?
We started walking. A few minutes away from our house there was a small park. We sat down on a bench and suddenly Timo started talking. About his feelings, his life, just about everything. I understood him, but I hated the fact that he didn't want to let go of Sandro. Suddenly Timo looked at me, stood up and stood in front of me.
“You will never see Sandro again!” he shouted.
And he had a pistol in his hand. I was paralyzed, thought it was a joke, just to intimidate me. But I realized very quickly that what he had in his hand was no toy.
My companion looked at me.
And then?
I only heard the shot, nothing more.”
“Timo?”
“...shot at me, yes. It took a while for me to come to. I had no idea where I was. There was no sensation. No cold, warmth, heat... nothing. A strange state. And then I saw the last few seconds again. That small flash of fire from the pistol, the little cloud of smoke afterwards. I felt the bullet hit my chest, break a rib and penetrate my heart. The brief pain as it went through my back and probably flew out somewhere. How I slumped down and then it was over.
My companion was breathing heavily, as if he couldn't get any air.
And then you were here?
Yes, in the nest. I had wished to become a crow after my death, and that has been fulfilled.
I paused.
Now, though, I'm missing your story.
We didn't get around to it, people were walking around the grounds of the office and were quite noisy.
We took off, heading for the landfill. There was always something to eat there, and we also had company. Lots of seagulls were around, and sometimes I couldn't help but compare it to Hitchcock's “The Birds”.
My companion and I ended up in an area where there were no excavators and it smelled quite delicious like food. We poked around in the garbage and a little later we flew to the outskirts. A small train station and the people there regularly threw leftovers from who knows what onto the tracks.
After we had gorged ourselves – especially on a rabbit that had probably been run over – we flew to a nearby electricity pylon.
“Well, what about you?” I asked my companion.
“Similar to you. I had fallen in love too. With a handsome boy.”
I stared at him.
“You were gay too?”
He crowed.
“Yes, what did you think?” I would never have listened to all this otherwise.
“And?”
“Yes, yes, as I said, the boy was very handsome. And he was my great love. He returned it too. But one day, someone else came between us. And I wanted to get away from him.”
At that moment it dawned on me.
“What was your name in your human life?” I wanted to know from him.
“Sandro. And you?”
“Damian.”
I didn't know what else to say. Coincidence? Never. I looked at him, and he looked at me.
“You're not Sandro?”
“Oh yes. That's me. As sure as you are Damian.”
My beak was open.
“But... how did you get here?”
“Ever since I was a child, I wished I could be as free and easy as a bird. And because crows live so long... I wished I could become one someday.”
“Yes, but how did it come to... I mean, you being here?”
Timo came to me one evening, completely distraught. He told me that he had done something stupid and that he was sorry and a lot of other nonsense. I didn't understand what he really wanted.
And then?
He suddenly showed me the gun and said that he had shot Damian, that is, you. I told him not to talk shit, and tried to take the gun from him. We struggled, and then I heard a shot. But I didn't die right away. I must have passed out, but I saw Timo put the gun to his head and heard the bang.
Timo is probably not alive with that either. Did he ever say what he wanted to become in a next life?
Sandro thought, then looked at me in shock.
A bird of prey.
I was taken aback.
A bird of prey... A kite maybe?
Possible.
We were silent for a while.
And that's how you ended up here. I don't believe it... Sandro...?
Fate probably wanted it this way?
I snuggled up to him while a train rushed by below us and the wind blew through our feathers. Sandro gently rubbed his beak against mine.
We'll never be together like we would be in human life. But we can stay together for a very long time,? he said softly.
Hey, we always wanted to fly south, didn't we? I said.
Yes, we did.
What's stopping us?
Nothing, really.
With a loud cry, we took off, climbed into the sky and turned south. Flying alongside my sweetheart was simply wonderful. He no longer looked like my Sandro, but I didn't care.
Higher and higher we rose into the evening sky. We left the sleeping trees, in which our comrades were already sitting, below us, and said goodbye to the area.
With light wing beats we rowed towards the warmth and summer.