2025-07-11, 06:48 PM
What are strength, sovereignty, and self-determination? Are they values of our society that give us the opportunity for our own fulfillment? Or are they illusions because these attributes only function when our environment allows them and we feel we can maintain control?
But what happens when this control is taken away from us?
What if someone imposes their own rules on us?
Where does our strength, our sovereignty, and the possibility of self-determination then become? Am I still Jakob Raller, or someone completely different? What will remain of me if all my rights are taken away?
I had never thought about how frightening that would be, how terrifyingly fragile my life in freedom could be, until my dignity and all freedom were radically taken away from me.
But that night, no other thought dominated my mind until I slipped into the redeeming world of dreams, freed from the suffering of my battered body.
I look deep into my boyfriend's blue eyes, which gaze at me from his almost feminine face. His cheeks are still flushed from lovemaking, and the pale skin of his petite body stands out only slightly against the white sheets.
“I love you, my Casanova,” he whispers.
My hand brushes the messy blond hair from his forehead. "And I love you, Freddy."
Frederik sighs. "Your parents will be back next week."
“So what?” My brain isn’t quite up to speed yet.
"I think your father doesn't like me, thinks I'm a parasite, or something like that."
"You just don't know each other well, but we'll make up for it. Dad is pretty particular in that regard. At least he's accepted now that I won't be bringing home a daughter-in-law."
Freddy nods and looks at the clock. "Sorry, Jacky, I should go home. I have an exam tomorrow and still have to study. Maybe that'll boost my final grade a bit."
Frustrated, I growl at him, and he laughs. "Okay, I'll let you go, but I want one more time first!"
“You insatiable one,” he grins cheekily and his lips wander between my thighs again.
"Wake up!" A hand slapped my face harshly. I heard the sound, but the pain of that sensation didn't penetrate my foggy mind. I could barely feel my body anymore, numb from sitting so cramped on the cold floor. I couldn't say exactly how long; the lack of light made estimation impossible. I wanted to go back to sleep, to be with Freddy. To relive the day that had crept so realistically into my dream. That was the only thing that kept my mind from going mad.
My hands were tied above my head, connecting me to a pipe to form a single unit, and thus the toilet issue was resolved. I stank, that much was clear.
“You damned mama’s boy, raise your head!” the voice hissed.
"Never mind, I'll take care of it. Hold the camera," the second voice chimed in, much more gently, before addressing me.
"I know the situation isn't easy, but you should do what he says."
Another hand touched my face, just below my chin, and gently but firmly lifted my head. A dull ache shot through my neck as the tired and stiff muscles moved. Suddenly, I felt nauseous and choked up bitter bile that mingled with the other smells on my clothes.
"Let's postpone this, just for a few hours, it's pointless," came a voice close to my ear. A faint "Sorry" trailed behind, almost inaudibly.
"No. Asshole, shut up."
I couldn't do it on my own. Then hurried footsteps approached, and something shot into my stomach with tremendous force. Without the rope, I would have certainly fallen forward, but now I was hanging halfway forward, my shoulder joints aching as my tormentor pulled me even further forward by my neck.
"Mac, stop it! What's going on?" My 'savior' sounded upset, as far as I could tell. If it weren't for the excruciating pain in my body, I probably would have laughed at calling the other guy a savior just because he didn't hit me.
“Thirst,” I croaked.
"Mac, please. Give me an hour and it will work."
"An hour. And if not..." the voice swung in my direction, "...you'll figure it out. But believe me, you'd rather cooperate."
Mac's footsteps faded away and a door slammed shut. A dull, metallic sound echoed off the bare walls.
Next to me, the other man sighed audibly. "Thank God. Jacob... I hope you don't mind if I call you by your name, do you?"
I gave a slight shake of my head.
"Fine, thanks. You can call me 'Tin.' Like the Tin Man, that tin fellow from The Wizard of Oz. Listen, Mac's a little tense, there's... a lot of money at stake."
Now I actually laughed, briefly and with all the contempt I could muster.
"I understand you. All this misery just so we can get some money. But your father has enough, it doesn't hurt him."
I turned my face toward Tin's voice. "No, not him ."
Tin was silent for a moment. "Yes. I'm sorry. I'm holding a bottle to your mouth now. Drink slowly."
The opening of a plastic bottle pressed against my lips, and small amounts of stale mineral water greedily forced their way down my throat. I had to cough.
“Slow down. I have enough,” my captor admonished me.
“Fuck you!” I hissed at him.
"Jakob, I don't blame you, but don't do that when my partner is around. You know what he's capable of."
"It doesn't matter. You'll kill me anyway once my old man pays. Either way." Then I'd never have to remember this horror again.
"You've watched too many bad movies. If Mac... if we were planning on doing this, we would have done it by now." Tin sighed again. "I can't leave you sitting here like this. If you get a chance to shower, will you promise me you won't try anything stupid? I could stop you, but trust me: I don't want to have to."
The thought of getting out of this stuffiness was tempting.
„Jakob?“
“Okay, I promise.”
His hands worked on the rope. "Oh shit. I'll put some ointment on it later, that looks pretty ugly." His finger touched my chafed wrists, and I exhaled with a hiss as the burning pain shot through my arms.
"That's going to burn pretty bad in the shower." The concern in his voice sounded genuine; maybe I was just longing for a little care. And for my boyfriend. What about Freddy? He was with me when those guys struck, but the exact circumstances were shrouded in a fog of gray.
"Whatever, smelling like an incontinent pants-shitter is worse," I commented sarcastically, which made Tin giggle. Although I found this more than inappropriate, a slight grin crept onto my face. What was normal, or even appropriate, here, in this hole?
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed, but that was a good saying.” My companion made a concerned noise.
“It’s okay, I’d rather have a laugh than a kick in the stomach.”
“That’s not fair, I didn’t do anything to you,” was the offended reply.
"Did nothing? Oh yeah, right. You just kidnapped me and are holding me captive in this dungeon, threatening me with violence if I do 'something stupid'... even if you don't want me to. It easily passes as 'did nothing.'"
"Okay. You're right. Almost nothing..." He reached for my elbow and pulled me to my feet. The grip was far less gentle than before, and I let out a pained gasp.
"And this is the punishment for telling the truth? You're no better than this Mac. Your sheepskin may be a little softer, but a wolf is still a wolf."
"Jakob... stop it. I don't want you to suffer any more unnecessarily while we're holding you." He took several deep breaths. "The whole thing was a crazy idea," he added quietly. "Come." His grip loosened, and he led me through the darkness caused by a tight blindfold.
Our footsteps changed as the flooring changed from concrete to tile.
“Okay, take off your clothes,” Tin commanded.
"Is it unnecessary to ask you to turn around?" It was a purely rhetorical question, and he didn't answer. Thanks to my stiff joints, undressing was impossible. "I can barely move and my pants are sticking to me. You have to help me."
“Uh... okay.” Was I mistaken, or did he suddenly sound shy?
He awkwardly pulled the shirt over my head and I almost thought his fingers were stroking my arm.
"Awesome tattoo. Who designed it?" Almost admiringly, the rough fingertips traced the tribal lines that began on the upper arm and branched off at the shoulder. From there, they branched out across the left side of the chest and part of the left back. Freddy once told me it reminded him of a dark ghost whose bony fingers were gripping my shoulder. He fell in love with it on me immediately.
“My design,” I replied briefly.
“That must be a fortune...”
"It hurt," I interrupted. He was the last person I wanted to talk to about money.
"Your back looks bad. Mac really hit you hard. But it'll heal." The subject was forgotten.
"How long..." I began, asking a question I wasn't sure I was ready to answer. It was the first time anyone had spoken to me since the kidnapping. I lived here in dark silence. Every now and then, I was given something to drink.
Most of the time, it seemed to be Mac, because his grip was hard. He yanked on my head and usually held the drinks roughly. Tin seemed to like me, and their touches were markedly different.
"Two days, almost." He fiddled with my pants. "That might stink," he said with a slight gag.
"I'm so sorry. I couldn't make it to the bathroom." And again, I put all the sarcasm into my voice. Tin wasn't supposed to be nice; I wanted to hate him. That bastard.
Mac's roar echoed through the house. "I have to go, this might take a while!"
He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll get you something to change into later. But at least now we have some peace and quiet."
I slowly stepped out of the wet legs of my tight, knee-length jeans. Now I stood naked in front of him.
"Tin?" Was he staring at me? At least he remained silent for a long time, and I covered my nakedness with my hands.
“Tin?” I asked quietly again.
A clearing of the throat sounded. "Uh... grab my arm, it's right in front of you. I'll help you into the cabin."
One hand remained in my crotch and I let myself be helped into the narrow cabin.
“Be careful, the edge is close, lift your feet higher,” he instructed me.
I slid to the floor against the back wall, my legs having lost their strength. My captor took the shower head and adjusted the temperature. Shortly afterward, the warm drops hit...
...on our skin. Freddy squeals and steers his bike to the shelter at the edge of the forest. The warm rain has caught us completely by surprise, a violent and sudden summer thunderstorm. Our clothes are completely soaked. There's no one to be seen anywhere; we're completely alone.
"We should take this stuff off. It'll dry faster in the sun," he suggests, winking at me. I know exactly what he's really up to. That's why it only takes a few seconds before we're standing naked, facing each other. He firmly pushes me to the ground, and I lie on my back. The lush green, damp grass tickles my cheek.
Freddy squats over me with his legs wide apart and takes hold of my cock, fixes his gaze on mine, and rides me tenderly. A long kiss follows. He clings tightly to my broad chest and moans loudly.
I don't have to wait long for his climax, and I don't have to hold back. As so often happens, tears of joy flow from his eyes.
"I can't imagine life without you anymore," he whispers with a loving undertone. His voice is almost reverent; he adores me, and I love him for it. I adore him too, worship him.
"You are my life," I reply, kissing him on the tip of his nose. And tomorrow he'll talk to my father, finally get to know him when they get back from vacation. The week flew by.
We get dressed again and hop on our bikes. Just then, the first walkers pass us. We laugh.
“That was close,” says my friend.
“And it was awesome too,” I reply.
Frederik blushes and smiles at me. Then we drive to my house.
"I'm going to take a shower, are you coming with me?" My sweetheart flutters his eyelids. How can you resist?
“Right away, I’ll get us some champagne from the cellar, I feel like celebrating.”
His eyes light up and he disappears into the bathroom. Shortly afterward, the water starts running.
"Don't start without me," I call, quickly going into the living room. I open the patio door to let the heat escape. The trees in the garden cast their cooling shade into the room.
Then I raid my parents' basement storage and arm myself with two champagne flutes. My clothes land on the floor and I run to the bathroom. But wasn't the water still running?
I place my souvenirs on the shelf next to the door and enter my private wellness temple. Freddy is lying on the floor, half in the shower. Blood is pouring from a small wound on his head. I scream in panic, trying to get to him. But then something scurries past me from the side. Everything becomes...
... dark. "Freeeedddyyyyyy," I screamed. Suddenly, a tingling sensation ran through my abdomen. A hand jerked away from my cock, and climax shook me. I began to sob and continued to crawl against the back wall. My legs slipped on the wet floor, panic coursing through me.
"Shit, ... I thought ... you were suddenly aroused and I thought you wanted ... Jakob, I..." It was Tin's voice. It was all just a dream, and this guy, of all people, had jerked me off. Had I cheated on Freddy? Freddy...
"What did you bastards do to Freddy? He was hurt!" I screamed.
"He's fine. Mac only hit him lightly, a laceration. He's in the hospital, the news said." Tin sighed. "There's something about you almost hourly."
'I wonder how my parents are doing? ' I wondered, completely out of context. My mind seemed to be slipping away.
"You have to believe me, I thought you wanted this. Otherwise, I never would have done that." Tin sounded almost pleading, guilty. "Damn, you look so good," he said, almost to himself.
My emotions boiled over. Anger, despair, everything came crashing down on me. "You're sick. Does it turn you on to see me like this? Come on," I yelled at him, "who's stopping you from taking everything?" My voice was shrill and hysterical. "Come on, do it, you sick piece of shit!"
The slight breeze signaled his next move: his hand hit my face. Not nearly as hard as his partner's, but enough to bring me back to reality. Tears flowed beneath the blindfold. Two arms pulled me tightly against Tin's body.
"Don't say that, please. I'm not that kind of person. Not against your will. Believe me... not that kind of person." He, too, was fighting back tears; I couldn't miss that. My words had hurt him deeply.
Then he let me go. "But why should you believe me? I wish you were someone else, someone who... oh, I don't know. This is my first time at this kind of thing. At first it sounds so tempting. ' Tin, it's easy money, but I need help. ' I was torn. Sure, when you're unemployed for a long time, the money is hard to come by. In theory, the plan was great. Just grab it, wait for the money, release yourself, and disappear. But it wasn't like that. We've been watching you for almost two weeks." Tin paused.
"And with that, simplicity was put to rest. I've seen you, often enough. At first, I felt like a voyeur, but it was too exciting to look away. Then it gradually faded; at some point, I wanted to be in his place. To feel your caresses, like he did."
Freddy
After two long days, the time had finally come for me to leave the hospital. The dull headache was under control again and the shock had subsided. I couldn't remember much.
Jakob and I had spent a wonderful afternoon, and I had gone into his shower. The bathroom door was ajar, and I heard the gentle rattle of the stall door as someone entered the room. I turned off the water so my friend could get in, and then the stall suddenly burst open.
But it wasn't Jacob, but a masked mountain of a man. Then came darkness.
When I came to, I was in Jakob's parents' car, lying fully clothed in the back seat. The pain in my head brought back the darkness.
There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in."
“Hello Frederik, are you ready?” It was Jakob’s father.
"Hello Mr. ... Roman." I was still getting used to calling him by his first name. He and his wife had taken turns visiting me so someone was always home waiting for news. Jakob's disappearance had brought us closer together. Ironic twist of fate. "Have you heard from him?"
He shook his head sadly. "Not a sound. The police think they might have found something, a clue to the intruder. But there's no trace of Jakob himself. Everything points to a kidnapping."
Hot tears welled up, my voice no longer obeyed me. "But then something would have to come, a ransom demand... something!"
“We’ll get him back, don’t lose hope,” he tried to encourage me.
"I miss him..."
Roman nodded. "Come on, let's go. You'll stay with us, in his room, of course."
Andrea was already waiting for us at the front door. She, too, looked haggard and sleepless. Dark circles marred her friendly face. Since returning from vacation, both of them seemed to have aged years.
I didn't look any better myself, as the mirror in the hallway showed me. Apart from a fine scar and a large bump on my forehead, I had no other traces. The doctor had assured me that nothing would remain.
The journey to Jakob's room turned into a nightmarish ordeal. My heart pounding, I pushed open the door, hoping to see a familiar face. " Hey Freddy, wake up, you were just dreaming! " His voice echoed through my head.
But the room was empty, the sheets still rumpled from the morning before we left for our bike ride. The room was missing something; its soul had vanished, leaving a vacuum behind. I headed mechanically for the bathroom.
“Don’t start without me!” He laughs.
I slip out of my clothes and enjoy the lukewarm water on my skin. The cellar door slams shut. The cabin door rattles, and a shadow darkens the cloudy frosted glass panes.
"That was quick," I say, turning off the water. Suddenly, cold air penetrates the heated interior. It's not Jakob.
"Good night," a gruesome voice booms, amused, and a hand flies forward, grabbing me by the shoulders. The tiled back wall shoots back at me. Blackout.
Suddenly I heard footsteps, excited voices. "Frederik, is everything okay?" Andrea stood in the doorway, harried. "You were screaming."
"I... it was so real, I remembered..." My body trembled under the force of the images, and my legs barely held me upright. I clung to the shower curtain.
The petite woman grabbed me with a strength I wouldn't have thought she had. "You're going to bed."
"I can't," I protested weakly, and she pulled me in front of the mirror. "Don't argue, look at yourself, you're as white as a sheet. The doctor told Roman to take good care of you. A concussion is no joke."
She was right, the headache was back, rolling through me in waves. I didn't even realize I was in bed shortly afterward.
“I’ll get you something for the pain.” She hadn’t even left the room when I fell asleep.
Jakob
He had watched Freddy and me having sex? That probably wasn't difficult, either. We felt unobserved and had done it wherever the urge arose. And that was often enough.
"We've been to your house more than once; you always leave the patio door open. That's how we knew when your parents would be back and we'd come in the day before. You came home, and we took cover in the garden behind the shed, knowing you'd open the door soon. Then you disappeared into the basement. Mac stormed into the bathroom and knocked out your boyfriend, and I waited. You almost caught me getting the glasses out of the cabinet. Soon after, Mac came back and dragged you into the living room, where I'd been waiting with your clothes, and we dressed you." Tin cleared his throat.
"My partner is quite a sadist... I don't like it when he gets too close to you or does anything to you."
I listened to the story, spellbound. The guy had a crush on me? And then he pulled all this shit for the money. I didn't know what it was like not to have money; I'd never lacked anything before. But that still didn't mean I could treat anyone the way they treated me. "You're pathetic," I whispered.
"I know." He grabbed my wrists and I yelped, the sore skin burning even more than before. Tin cinched the rope relatively tightly and tied me to the fitting. "I'll get you something to wear."
The relaxing feeling of the shower quickly disappeared again in the cramped position. Individual drops of water fell from the showerhead at regular intervals and splashed onto my thigh. How I wished I had covered my nakedness instead of waiting exposed for my 'host.'
His actions had abruptly shattered the budding trust. I felt used; sex was something intimate and important to me, an act of intimacy. And I didn't even know what Tin looked like.
Splash. Splash. The rhythm of the drops changed, taking away my constant feeling and throwing me back into solitude. The shower tray gradually cooled and I shivered. Tin was obviously taking his time. Maybe I was really mistaken; he wasn't nearly as nice as I thought. All he wanted was to touch me.
In one of the adjoining rooms, a door slammed against the wall, and someone approached with heavy footsteps. That was...
"Oh, who do we have here? My buddy couldn't control himself after all?" Panic spread through me. Mac's voice sounded dangerous, lurking, just like before. He roughly tugged on the rope and untied me. Seemingly effortlessly, he pulled me out of the shower and dragged me across the rough floor behind him. More footsteps approached.
"The hell are you doing, Mac?" Tin sounded startled, worry in his voice.
"Put away your toys. You wanted to get him to cooperate, not fuck him. Forgot?"
"God, you stupid idiot! Did you see his clothes? He stank and I made him shower. Here, I had to organize some clothes; there's no way he can wear that other rag again."
He kept quiet about everything else. Mac suddenly let go of my hands, and the back of my head hit the concrete floor. Despite the blindfold, stars danced in front of me and I groaned in agony.
"Okay, then finish that. We need the picture now. Or leave him like that, then you'll get a print." Mac laughed dirty and walked away.
"Where have you been so long? That guy scares me." Reluctantly, I accepted the sense of security Tin gave me.
"Sorry. I... had something to do so I could face you with a clear head again." He loosened the restraints and helped me to my feet. Then he put some clothes on me.
"You were right, I'm pathetic. Your body, your defenselessness... it turned me on. I wanted more."
“Why are you telling me this?”
"Because I want to be honest. And it can't happen."
“Thank you for your openness.”
"All right. I owe you that much, at least." His hand gently stroked my cheek. "Come on, I've prepared another surprise."
Taken by surprise, I let him pull me. The way back was different; we didn't go back to my old dungeon.
"So, we're here. It's not the Ritz, but it'll be fine."
I shrugged. "Not that I can tell the difference."
"Yes, you will. At least for a moment. Mac will be right back."
Before I could say anything, his hands rested on the fabric and pulled it slightly over his eyes. Surprised, I looked down at a mattress—no, two mattresses—and a small chemical toilet. Then the surroundings darkened again.
"At least it's better than before. You can lie here too."
I was speechless. The carefully constructed image of hate collapsed again, piece by piece. "Why two mattresses?"
"I'll stay here most of the time so I can untie you when you need to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, it's pointless. And then you won't be alone with Mac; he already knows and he doesn't care."
"Thank you." I meant it. Despite the incident, I was starting to feel more comfortable around him.
Shortly afterwards, his accomplice entered the room and Tin led me to the back mattress.
“Your toy should lift its head,” he commented.
"He's not my toy. Okay, Jacob..."
I reacted immediately, not wanting to provoke another kick. The artificial whir of a digital camera sounded. "There you go."
"I'll leave you lovebirds alone. It'll take a few hours." The door closed and Tin breathed a sigh of relief.
“Finally, peace and quiet.”
“And what now?”
Silence. Then a clearing of the throat, followed by labored, thoughtful breathing. Suddenly, my hands were on my face again, and a moment later, chocolate-brown eyes were in front of me. I flinched in shock, my eyelids snapping shut.
“I didn’t see you, I swear!” On television, you were no longer safe when you saw your kidnappers.
"Jacob, open your eyes. Consider this proof that I trust you and you don't have to be afraid of me."
"But I could describe you to the police," I interjected. "Do you want to take the risk?"
“By then we’ll be long gone.”
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Tin had moved to the other mattress and was looking nervously at me. He looked good. Younger than I thought, a friendly face, in good shape.
"It's only fair, after seeing you in a completely different light earlier." He blushed a little, seeming genuinely uncomfortable. No, I was in no immediate danger from him. My scrutiny seemed to unsettle him, and he ran his hand through his light brown hair, embarrassed.
"You must find me pretty repulsive, right? For everything we're doing to you."
"I don't know how to find you. What you say and what you do... repulsive certainly doesn't quite describe it. Actually, I guess I'm glad you're here, too."
Tin smiled a little.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” My disappointment at his behavior had given way to curiosity.
“It never happened.” Now I finally saw the face that sighed.
"Why? Under other circumstances, you'd probably be even nicer, you look good." Had I complimented him?
"Thanks." An embarrassed smile accompanied the words. "The nice guys don't like my friends. None of them have ever stayed very long."
"Maybe you'd be with other ' friends better off '."
"If only it were that easy." Tin turned his head to the side. "I'm in debt, a lot of debt to the wrong people. My buddies... well, the small jobs help me get by pretty well. And this," his hand made a slight curve through the basement room, "you'll get rid of the debt. We'll get away, and I can make a fresh start."
"I see. I'm just the jackpot."
"Jakob, you don't have to believe me, but I'm sorry. It's too late to undo everything now. I'll make your stay as pleasant as possible." He gave me a pitying look.
"The worst part so far has been the loneliness. And not knowing which of you is coming downstairs. Mac obviously has no problem hurting me for no reason."
"No, he didn't. But that's why I'm here now. I can't watch this anymore. As I said, he's a sadist. That's why he only took the photo today. Your parents don't know anything for sure yet; he wanted them to worry first. Wear them down through ignorance. It increases their willingness to pay, he says."
“But Freddy…”
"Your friend stayed behind so they knew something had happened. But not why."
“Is he really okay?” The image of him lying bleeding on the ground kept circling through my head.
"He's conscious. According to the news, he was found in your house. Apathetic, in shock, but awake."
“When will I get out of here?” My stomach had turned into a painful lump as I talked about Frederik, and Tin seemed to sense what was going on inside me.
"I don't know exactly. Mac is handling the... ransom." The word was difficult for him. "Maybe two or three more days. I have no experience with this sort of thing."
A wave of fatigue washed over me, one I simply couldn't fight. And with it came the fear, which continued to manifest itself within me. As much as I wanted to believe Tin, Mac made me panic. The guy would get rid of me in other ways if necessary.
“I would like to sleep.”
"Okay. But unfortunately, I have to tie you down. Your eyes too. My buddy shouldn't see you like this."
I reluctantly nodded, but my options were limited. Tin set to work, tying my hands behind my head to a massive tube before the binding also blocked my vision. It was uncomfortable, but much better than in the other room, where my arms were constantly above my head.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a tone that could almost be described as concerned.
“No, but what choice do I have,” I retorted.
"Wait a minute."
He pushed the mattress closer to the pipe so I could rest my hands over my forehead. The position was significantly better, though not ideal. While I was still thinking about how to cross my arms behind my neck, Tin lifted my head and in turn tucked his arm under me. Inevitably, this also meant bringing his body closer to me. The intimacy of the situation confused me; this gesture was both comfortable and surprising. Regarding Freddy, I felt a profound sense of guilt.
"Should I leave you alone?" Tin must have seen the inner struggle on my face. As crazy as it seemed to me, I preferred his closeness to the lonely darkness. It almost exuded a feeling of security.
This also reminded me of my boyfriend. Everyone else automatically assumed that my little one was the passive part of our relationship and that I was the more dominant one, simply because he seemed petite and fragile. Physically, he was the exact opposite of me. Frederik, on the other hand, was very clear in his ideas and sometimes a real stubborn person. There were no defined roles between us; everyone was sometimes strong and sometimes weak.
In that basement, I was weak and longed for affection, which Tin readily offered me.
“It’s okay... better than before,” I replied.
He brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "I'll wait here until you're asleep and then go over..."
His voice penetrated only faintly through the cottony silence that surrounded me just before I fell asleep.
"Are you okay?" Frederik's eyes shine like a summer day. A warm, blue glow caresses my face with concern.
"I don't know. It's this feeling... like something's wrong."
He puts his hand on my cheek and kisses my forehead. "I'll take care of you."
The warmth of his body lies on me like a blanket, exudes confidence and love, and gives me the feeling that together we can achieve anything.
His hand glides inquisitively over my stomach and lingers in my crotch. "I want to sleep with you," he whispers in his rough, dark voice.
Then he rolls on top of me, pressing himself longingly between my legs. I look at his face, see the lust in his eyes.
Reality distorts, his image flickers. As if a parallel world is superimposed over ours. Fragments of this alien dimension overlay his face. The lustful expression gives way to a grimace of pain. Blood flows from his forehead.
He smiles and moans, suffers and screams. The images change ever faster. I'm covered in blood. His face becomes a strobe of pleasure and pain, and I freeze, unable to move or speak.
My friend becomes diffuse, his slender form dissolves and becomes a shadow. A massive shadow, from which glowing red eyes stare down at me. Evil, cold, and threatening. 'You're not getting out of here, I'll kill you.' The threat is a promise. The shadowy hand wraps itself iron-like around my throat and squeezes. I suffocate, want to scream, want to free myself, thrash about, but my body doesn't move. My hands are transparent, hovering above my shell, blurring in spasmodic twitches.
'Jacob...' The voice calls me. 'Jacob... come to me!
I don't want to go, I don't want to die. I can't leave Freddy alone. 'Jakob!'
My face hurts, something is hitting me, my shell. My mind watches as my body's head is thrown back and forth under the blows. 'Jacob... come!'
"Jakob, damn it! Come to, you're dreaming!" The voice became clearer. Disoriented, I thrashed around and grabbed something. Warm and breathing, pressed close to me. Freddy?
I hugged him, grateful, pressed my face against his chest, and cried. It was only a dream.
“It’s all right, I’m with you.”
And then it hit me again, Freddy couldn't be here. "Let me go, Tin. Now!" I hissed.
"I just wanted to help. You had a nightmare." My rejection hurt him.
"Help? You're to blame for this nightmare. You and Mac. I hate you," I heard myself whisper. My nerves were fraying, and I burst into tears. Was this what fear of death felt like?
The dream had robbed me of all hope of getting out of here alive. Desperately, I took the initiative and clung to Tin again. Only then did I realize I was no longer bound. My joints ached, and there was blood on the red welts.
“I had to untie you, otherwise you would have torn your hands off,” he said, as if he had guessed my thoughts.
“I’m fucking scared.”
Instead of answering, he stroked my neck, and in the moment, I didn't care. No, it did matter: I felt gratitude. Tin, of all people, had become an anchor, keeping me back from the brink of madness. It wasn't long before my eyes closed again. All I noticed was him laying me back on the mattress and covering me with his jacket. He no longer tied my hands.
Freddy
We stared at the monitor, spellbound. Horror mixed with the certainty emanating from the email. Jakob leaped toward us, gigantic, covered in bruises and bloody welts. Below was the hefty demand for 450,000 euros.
The email came via an anonymous proxy server, as we soon discovered.
He looked so horrible, the image burned itself into our retinas. Andrea began to sob, and all I could hear from Roman was the grinding of his jaw. No one uttered a word. I was almost glad his eyes were blindfolded and we didn't have to see the expression in them.
"Those bastards!" My voice shattered the silence in the room. "What do we do now?" I added more quietly. This sum seemed so unimaginably enormous to me.
"I wonder what? We'll pay, of course. I'll call the bank." Roman spoke dangerously quietly, with suppressed anger. We had already informed the police shortly after receiving the email. Perhaps their experts would still be able to find out something about the sender.
Soon after, the doorbell rang and three plainclothes police officers entered.
"Van Bergen," one of the men, the youngest of the group, introduced himself. "I'm leading the investigation. Please show us the computer with the email."
The six of us huddled around the PC. Our visitors wore concerned expressions.
“Please bring me back my boy!” Andrea was almost hysterical.
“Mrs. Raller, we will do everything in our power to ensure he returns safely.”
"All right?" Roman growled darkly. "He doesn't look all right."
"Of course we understand you, but we have to keep our cool. Can you raise the ransom demanded?"
“Yes, the bank has it by tomorrow.”
"Good. We'll see if we can trace anything from the email. Otherwise, pick up the money tomorrow. My colleagues will drive to your bank later, where we'll deposit a prepared banknote. It's equipped with a transmitter that can't be easily detected. This will allow us to track its progress. A special team will also be on standby as soon as we have more information about the handover. Don't worry any more than you already do. Trust us, we'll do our best."
"And what will happen to Jacob if the police suddenly appear everywhere?" I didn't like the plan; the criminals might panic and then...
“I understand your concern... Frederik?”
I nodded. "But you can call me informally..."
He thought for a moment. "Then call me Fabian, for once," he offered, to everyone's surprise. "Experience shows that the kidnappers won't kill their hostage if they're surrounded. It weakens their position considerably," van Bergen explained. "Furthermore, the bag will be equipped with a transmitter that's relatively easy to detect. Perhaps this will make the kidnapper think he's outsmarted us and lull him into a false sense of security."
“If you haven’t killed him first,” I interjected bitterly.
"You can't think about that, young man." The police officer exuded a certain confidence, which rubbed off on me. He certainly had more experience with this, which I wasn't jealous of. This one time was enough.
"We'll stay in touch, here's my card," he said to Jakob's parents. Roman accepted it with a slight nod, and the three of them left after a brief goodbye.
Once again we were condemned to wait.
But what happens when this control is taken away from us?
What if someone imposes their own rules on us?
Where does our strength, our sovereignty, and the possibility of self-determination then become? Am I still Jakob Raller, or someone completely different? What will remain of me if all my rights are taken away?
I had never thought about how frightening that would be, how terrifyingly fragile my life in freedom could be, until my dignity and all freedom were radically taken away from me.
But that night, no other thought dominated my mind until I slipped into the redeeming world of dreams, freed from the suffering of my battered body.
I look deep into my boyfriend's blue eyes, which gaze at me from his almost feminine face. His cheeks are still flushed from lovemaking, and the pale skin of his petite body stands out only slightly against the white sheets.
“I love you, my Casanova,” he whispers.
My hand brushes the messy blond hair from his forehead. "And I love you, Freddy."
Frederik sighs. "Your parents will be back next week."
“So what?” My brain isn’t quite up to speed yet.
"I think your father doesn't like me, thinks I'm a parasite, or something like that."
"You just don't know each other well, but we'll make up for it. Dad is pretty particular in that regard. At least he's accepted now that I won't be bringing home a daughter-in-law."
Freddy nods and looks at the clock. "Sorry, Jacky, I should go home. I have an exam tomorrow and still have to study. Maybe that'll boost my final grade a bit."
Frustrated, I growl at him, and he laughs. "Okay, I'll let you go, but I want one more time first!"
“You insatiable one,” he grins cheekily and his lips wander between my thighs again.
"Wake up!" A hand slapped my face harshly. I heard the sound, but the pain of that sensation didn't penetrate my foggy mind. I could barely feel my body anymore, numb from sitting so cramped on the cold floor. I couldn't say exactly how long; the lack of light made estimation impossible. I wanted to go back to sleep, to be with Freddy. To relive the day that had crept so realistically into my dream. That was the only thing that kept my mind from going mad.
My hands were tied above my head, connecting me to a pipe to form a single unit, and thus the toilet issue was resolved. I stank, that much was clear.
“You damned mama’s boy, raise your head!” the voice hissed.
"Never mind, I'll take care of it. Hold the camera," the second voice chimed in, much more gently, before addressing me.
"I know the situation isn't easy, but you should do what he says."
Another hand touched my face, just below my chin, and gently but firmly lifted my head. A dull ache shot through my neck as the tired and stiff muscles moved. Suddenly, I felt nauseous and choked up bitter bile that mingled with the other smells on my clothes.
"Let's postpone this, just for a few hours, it's pointless," came a voice close to my ear. A faint "Sorry" trailed behind, almost inaudibly.
"No. Asshole, shut up."
I couldn't do it on my own. Then hurried footsteps approached, and something shot into my stomach with tremendous force. Without the rope, I would have certainly fallen forward, but now I was hanging halfway forward, my shoulder joints aching as my tormentor pulled me even further forward by my neck.
"Mac, stop it! What's going on?" My 'savior' sounded upset, as far as I could tell. If it weren't for the excruciating pain in my body, I probably would have laughed at calling the other guy a savior just because he didn't hit me.
“Thirst,” I croaked.
"Mac, please. Give me an hour and it will work."
"An hour. And if not..." the voice swung in my direction, "...you'll figure it out. But believe me, you'd rather cooperate."
Mac's footsteps faded away and a door slammed shut. A dull, metallic sound echoed off the bare walls.
Next to me, the other man sighed audibly. "Thank God. Jacob... I hope you don't mind if I call you by your name, do you?"
I gave a slight shake of my head.
"Fine, thanks. You can call me 'Tin.' Like the Tin Man, that tin fellow from The Wizard of Oz. Listen, Mac's a little tense, there's... a lot of money at stake."
Now I actually laughed, briefly and with all the contempt I could muster.
"I understand you. All this misery just so we can get some money. But your father has enough, it doesn't hurt him."
I turned my face toward Tin's voice. "No, not him ."
Tin was silent for a moment. "Yes. I'm sorry. I'm holding a bottle to your mouth now. Drink slowly."
The opening of a plastic bottle pressed against my lips, and small amounts of stale mineral water greedily forced their way down my throat. I had to cough.
“Slow down. I have enough,” my captor admonished me.
“Fuck you!” I hissed at him.
"Jakob, I don't blame you, but don't do that when my partner is around. You know what he's capable of."
"It doesn't matter. You'll kill me anyway once my old man pays. Either way." Then I'd never have to remember this horror again.
"You've watched too many bad movies. If Mac... if we were planning on doing this, we would have done it by now." Tin sighed again. "I can't leave you sitting here like this. If you get a chance to shower, will you promise me you won't try anything stupid? I could stop you, but trust me: I don't want to have to."
The thought of getting out of this stuffiness was tempting.
„Jakob?“
“Okay, I promise.”
His hands worked on the rope. "Oh shit. I'll put some ointment on it later, that looks pretty ugly." His finger touched my chafed wrists, and I exhaled with a hiss as the burning pain shot through my arms.
"That's going to burn pretty bad in the shower." The concern in his voice sounded genuine; maybe I was just longing for a little care. And for my boyfriend. What about Freddy? He was with me when those guys struck, but the exact circumstances were shrouded in a fog of gray.
"Whatever, smelling like an incontinent pants-shitter is worse," I commented sarcastically, which made Tin giggle. Although I found this more than inappropriate, a slight grin crept onto my face. What was normal, or even appropriate, here, in this hole?
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed, but that was a good saying.” My companion made a concerned noise.
“It’s okay, I’d rather have a laugh than a kick in the stomach.”
“That’s not fair, I didn’t do anything to you,” was the offended reply.
"Did nothing? Oh yeah, right. You just kidnapped me and are holding me captive in this dungeon, threatening me with violence if I do 'something stupid'... even if you don't want me to. It easily passes as 'did nothing.'"
"Okay. You're right. Almost nothing..." He reached for my elbow and pulled me to my feet. The grip was far less gentle than before, and I let out a pained gasp.
"And this is the punishment for telling the truth? You're no better than this Mac. Your sheepskin may be a little softer, but a wolf is still a wolf."
"Jakob... stop it. I don't want you to suffer any more unnecessarily while we're holding you." He took several deep breaths. "The whole thing was a crazy idea," he added quietly. "Come." His grip loosened, and he led me through the darkness caused by a tight blindfold.
Our footsteps changed as the flooring changed from concrete to tile.
“Okay, take off your clothes,” Tin commanded.
"Is it unnecessary to ask you to turn around?" It was a purely rhetorical question, and he didn't answer. Thanks to my stiff joints, undressing was impossible. "I can barely move and my pants are sticking to me. You have to help me."
“Uh... okay.” Was I mistaken, or did he suddenly sound shy?
He awkwardly pulled the shirt over my head and I almost thought his fingers were stroking my arm.
"Awesome tattoo. Who designed it?" Almost admiringly, the rough fingertips traced the tribal lines that began on the upper arm and branched off at the shoulder. From there, they branched out across the left side of the chest and part of the left back. Freddy once told me it reminded him of a dark ghost whose bony fingers were gripping my shoulder. He fell in love with it on me immediately.
“My design,” I replied briefly.
“That must be a fortune...”
"It hurt," I interrupted. He was the last person I wanted to talk to about money.
"Your back looks bad. Mac really hit you hard. But it'll heal." The subject was forgotten.
"How long..." I began, asking a question I wasn't sure I was ready to answer. It was the first time anyone had spoken to me since the kidnapping. I lived here in dark silence. Every now and then, I was given something to drink.
Most of the time, it seemed to be Mac, because his grip was hard. He yanked on my head and usually held the drinks roughly. Tin seemed to like me, and their touches were markedly different.
"Two days, almost." He fiddled with my pants. "That might stink," he said with a slight gag.
"I'm so sorry. I couldn't make it to the bathroom." And again, I put all the sarcasm into my voice. Tin wasn't supposed to be nice; I wanted to hate him. That bastard.
Mac's roar echoed through the house. "I have to go, this might take a while!"
He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll get you something to change into later. But at least now we have some peace and quiet."
I slowly stepped out of the wet legs of my tight, knee-length jeans. Now I stood naked in front of him.
"Tin?" Was he staring at me? At least he remained silent for a long time, and I covered my nakedness with my hands.
“Tin?” I asked quietly again.
A clearing of the throat sounded. "Uh... grab my arm, it's right in front of you. I'll help you into the cabin."
One hand remained in my crotch and I let myself be helped into the narrow cabin.
“Be careful, the edge is close, lift your feet higher,” he instructed me.
I slid to the floor against the back wall, my legs having lost their strength. My captor took the shower head and adjusted the temperature. Shortly afterward, the warm drops hit...
...on our skin. Freddy squeals and steers his bike to the shelter at the edge of the forest. The warm rain has caught us completely by surprise, a violent and sudden summer thunderstorm. Our clothes are completely soaked. There's no one to be seen anywhere; we're completely alone.
"We should take this stuff off. It'll dry faster in the sun," he suggests, winking at me. I know exactly what he's really up to. That's why it only takes a few seconds before we're standing naked, facing each other. He firmly pushes me to the ground, and I lie on my back. The lush green, damp grass tickles my cheek.
Freddy squats over me with his legs wide apart and takes hold of my cock, fixes his gaze on mine, and rides me tenderly. A long kiss follows. He clings tightly to my broad chest and moans loudly.
I don't have to wait long for his climax, and I don't have to hold back. As so often happens, tears of joy flow from his eyes.
"I can't imagine life without you anymore," he whispers with a loving undertone. His voice is almost reverent; he adores me, and I love him for it. I adore him too, worship him.
"You are my life," I reply, kissing him on the tip of his nose. And tomorrow he'll talk to my father, finally get to know him when they get back from vacation. The week flew by.
We get dressed again and hop on our bikes. Just then, the first walkers pass us. We laugh.
“That was close,” says my friend.
“And it was awesome too,” I reply.
Frederik blushes and smiles at me. Then we drive to my house.
"I'm going to take a shower, are you coming with me?" My sweetheart flutters his eyelids. How can you resist?
“Right away, I’ll get us some champagne from the cellar, I feel like celebrating.”
His eyes light up and he disappears into the bathroom. Shortly afterward, the water starts running.
"Don't start without me," I call, quickly going into the living room. I open the patio door to let the heat escape. The trees in the garden cast their cooling shade into the room.
Then I raid my parents' basement storage and arm myself with two champagne flutes. My clothes land on the floor and I run to the bathroom. But wasn't the water still running?
I place my souvenirs on the shelf next to the door and enter my private wellness temple. Freddy is lying on the floor, half in the shower. Blood is pouring from a small wound on his head. I scream in panic, trying to get to him. But then something scurries past me from the side. Everything becomes...
... dark. "Freeeedddyyyyyy," I screamed. Suddenly, a tingling sensation ran through my abdomen. A hand jerked away from my cock, and climax shook me. I began to sob and continued to crawl against the back wall. My legs slipped on the wet floor, panic coursing through me.
"Shit, ... I thought ... you were suddenly aroused and I thought you wanted ... Jakob, I..." It was Tin's voice. It was all just a dream, and this guy, of all people, had jerked me off. Had I cheated on Freddy? Freddy...
"What did you bastards do to Freddy? He was hurt!" I screamed.
"He's fine. Mac only hit him lightly, a laceration. He's in the hospital, the news said." Tin sighed. "There's something about you almost hourly."
'I wonder how my parents are doing? ' I wondered, completely out of context. My mind seemed to be slipping away.
"You have to believe me, I thought you wanted this. Otherwise, I never would have done that." Tin sounded almost pleading, guilty. "Damn, you look so good," he said, almost to himself.
My emotions boiled over. Anger, despair, everything came crashing down on me. "You're sick. Does it turn you on to see me like this? Come on," I yelled at him, "who's stopping you from taking everything?" My voice was shrill and hysterical. "Come on, do it, you sick piece of shit!"
The slight breeze signaled his next move: his hand hit my face. Not nearly as hard as his partner's, but enough to bring me back to reality. Tears flowed beneath the blindfold. Two arms pulled me tightly against Tin's body.
"Don't say that, please. I'm not that kind of person. Not against your will. Believe me... not that kind of person." He, too, was fighting back tears; I couldn't miss that. My words had hurt him deeply.
Then he let me go. "But why should you believe me? I wish you were someone else, someone who... oh, I don't know. This is my first time at this kind of thing. At first it sounds so tempting. ' Tin, it's easy money, but I need help. ' I was torn. Sure, when you're unemployed for a long time, the money is hard to come by. In theory, the plan was great. Just grab it, wait for the money, release yourself, and disappear. But it wasn't like that. We've been watching you for almost two weeks." Tin paused.
"And with that, simplicity was put to rest. I've seen you, often enough. At first, I felt like a voyeur, but it was too exciting to look away. Then it gradually faded; at some point, I wanted to be in his place. To feel your caresses, like he did."
Freddy
After two long days, the time had finally come for me to leave the hospital. The dull headache was under control again and the shock had subsided. I couldn't remember much.
Jakob and I had spent a wonderful afternoon, and I had gone into his shower. The bathroom door was ajar, and I heard the gentle rattle of the stall door as someone entered the room. I turned off the water so my friend could get in, and then the stall suddenly burst open.
But it wasn't Jacob, but a masked mountain of a man. Then came darkness.
When I came to, I was in Jakob's parents' car, lying fully clothed in the back seat. The pain in my head brought back the darkness.
There was a soft knock on the door. "Come in."
“Hello Frederik, are you ready?” It was Jakob’s father.
"Hello Mr. ... Roman." I was still getting used to calling him by his first name. He and his wife had taken turns visiting me so someone was always home waiting for news. Jakob's disappearance had brought us closer together. Ironic twist of fate. "Have you heard from him?"
He shook his head sadly. "Not a sound. The police think they might have found something, a clue to the intruder. But there's no trace of Jakob himself. Everything points to a kidnapping."
Hot tears welled up, my voice no longer obeyed me. "But then something would have to come, a ransom demand... something!"
“We’ll get him back, don’t lose hope,” he tried to encourage me.
"I miss him..."
Roman nodded. "Come on, let's go. You'll stay with us, in his room, of course."
Andrea was already waiting for us at the front door. She, too, looked haggard and sleepless. Dark circles marred her friendly face. Since returning from vacation, both of them seemed to have aged years.
I didn't look any better myself, as the mirror in the hallway showed me. Apart from a fine scar and a large bump on my forehead, I had no other traces. The doctor had assured me that nothing would remain.
The journey to Jakob's room turned into a nightmarish ordeal. My heart pounding, I pushed open the door, hoping to see a familiar face. " Hey Freddy, wake up, you were just dreaming! " His voice echoed through my head.
But the room was empty, the sheets still rumpled from the morning before we left for our bike ride. The room was missing something; its soul had vanished, leaving a vacuum behind. I headed mechanically for the bathroom.
“Don’t start without me!” He laughs.
I slip out of my clothes and enjoy the lukewarm water on my skin. The cellar door slams shut. The cabin door rattles, and a shadow darkens the cloudy frosted glass panes.
"That was quick," I say, turning off the water. Suddenly, cold air penetrates the heated interior. It's not Jakob.
"Good night," a gruesome voice booms, amused, and a hand flies forward, grabbing me by the shoulders. The tiled back wall shoots back at me. Blackout.
Suddenly I heard footsteps, excited voices. "Frederik, is everything okay?" Andrea stood in the doorway, harried. "You were screaming."
"I... it was so real, I remembered..." My body trembled under the force of the images, and my legs barely held me upright. I clung to the shower curtain.
The petite woman grabbed me with a strength I wouldn't have thought she had. "You're going to bed."
"I can't," I protested weakly, and she pulled me in front of the mirror. "Don't argue, look at yourself, you're as white as a sheet. The doctor told Roman to take good care of you. A concussion is no joke."
She was right, the headache was back, rolling through me in waves. I didn't even realize I was in bed shortly afterward.
“I’ll get you something for the pain.” She hadn’t even left the room when I fell asleep.
Jakob
He had watched Freddy and me having sex? That probably wasn't difficult, either. We felt unobserved and had done it wherever the urge arose. And that was often enough.
"We've been to your house more than once; you always leave the patio door open. That's how we knew when your parents would be back and we'd come in the day before. You came home, and we took cover in the garden behind the shed, knowing you'd open the door soon. Then you disappeared into the basement. Mac stormed into the bathroom and knocked out your boyfriend, and I waited. You almost caught me getting the glasses out of the cabinet. Soon after, Mac came back and dragged you into the living room, where I'd been waiting with your clothes, and we dressed you." Tin cleared his throat.
"My partner is quite a sadist... I don't like it when he gets too close to you or does anything to you."
I listened to the story, spellbound. The guy had a crush on me? And then he pulled all this shit for the money. I didn't know what it was like not to have money; I'd never lacked anything before. But that still didn't mean I could treat anyone the way they treated me. "You're pathetic," I whispered.
"I know." He grabbed my wrists and I yelped, the sore skin burning even more than before. Tin cinched the rope relatively tightly and tied me to the fitting. "I'll get you something to wear."
The relaxing feeling of the shower quickly disappeared again in the cramped position. Individual drops of water fell from the showerhead at regular intervals and splashed onto my thigh. How I wished I had covered my nakedness instead of waiting exposed for my 'host.'
His actions had abruptly shattered the budding trust. I felt used; sex was something intimate and important to me, an act of intimacy. And I didn't even know what Tin looked like.
Splash. Splash. The rhythm of the drops changed, taking away my constant feeling and throwing me back into solitude. The shower tray gradually cooled and I shivered. Tin was obviously taking his time. Maybe I was really mistaken; he wasn't nearly as nice as I thought. All he wanted was to touch me.
In one of the adjoining rooms, a door slammed against the wall, and someone approached with heavy footsteps. That was...
"Oh, who do we have here? My buddy couldn't control himself after all?" Panic spread through me. Mac's voice sounded dangerous, lurking, just like before. He roughly tugged on the rope and untied me. Seemingly effortlessly, he pulled me out of the shower and dragged me across the rough floor behind him. More footsteps approached.
"The hell are you doing, Mac?" Tin sounded startled, worry in his voice.
"Put away your toys. You wanted to get him to cooperate, not fuck him. Forgot?"
"God, you stupid idiot! Did you see his clothes? He stank and I made him shower. Here, I had to organize some clothes; there's no way he can wear that other rag again."
He kept quiet about everything else. Mac suddenly let go of my hands, and the back of my head hit the concrete floor. Despite the blindfold, stars danced in front of me and I groaned in agony.
"Okay, then finish that. We need the picture now. Or leave him like that, then you'll get a print." Mac laughed dirty and walked away.
"Where have you been so long? That guy scares me." Reluctantly, I accepted the sense of security Tin gave me.
"Sorry. I... had something to do so I could face you with a clear head again." He loosened the restraints and helped me to my feet. Then he put some clothes on me.
"You were right, I'm pathetic. Your body, your defenselessness... it turned me on. I wanted more."
“Why are you telling me this?”
"Because I want to be honest. And it can't happen."
“Thank you for your openness.”
"All right. I owe you that much, at least." His hand gently stroked my cheek. "Come on, I've prepared another surprise."
Taken by surprise, I let him pull me. The way back was different; we didn't go back to my old dungeon.
"So, we're here. It's not the Ritz, but it'll be fine."
I shrugged. "Not that I can tell the difference."
"Yes, you will. At least for a moment. Mac will be right back."
Before I could say anything, his hands rested on the fabric and pulled it slightly over his eyes. Surprised, I looked down at a mattress—no, two mattresses—and a small chemical toilet. Then the surroundings darkened again.
"At least it's better than before. You can lie here too."
I was speechless. The carefully constructed image of hate collapsed again, piece by piece. "Why two mattresses?"
"I'll stay here most of the time so I can untie you when you need to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, it's pointless. And then you won't be alone with Mac; he already knows and he doesn't care."
"Thank you." I meant it. Despite the incident, I was starting to feel more comfortable around him.
Shortly afterwards, his accomplice entered the room and Tin led me to the back mattress.
“Your toy should lift its head,” he commented.
"He's not my toy. Okay, Jacob..."
I reacted immediately, not wanting to provoke another kick. The artificial whir of a digital camera sounded. "There you go."
"I'll leave you lovebirds alone. It'll take a few hours." The door closed and Tin breathed a sigh of relief.
“Finally, peace and quiet.”
“And what now?”
Silence. Then a clearing of the throat, followed by labored, thoughtful breathing. Suddenly, my hands were on my face again, and a moment later, chocolate-brown eyes were in front of me. I flinched in shock, my eyelids snapping shut.
“I didn’t see you, I swear!” On television, you were no longer safe when you saw your kidnappers.
"Jacob, open your eyes. Consider this proof that I trust you and you don't have to be afraid of me."
"But I could describe you to the police," I interjected. "Do you want to take the risk?"
“By then we’ll be long gone.”
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. Tin had moved to the other mattress and was looking nervously at me. He looked good. Younger than I thought, a friendly face, in good shape.
"It's only fair, after seeing you in a completely different light earlier." He blushed a little, seeming genuinely uncomfortable. No, I was in no immediate danger from him. My scrutiny seemed to unsettle him, and he ran his hand through his light brown hair, embarrassed.
"You must find me pretty repulsive, right? For everything we're doing to you."
"I don't know how to find you. What you say and what you do... repulsive certainly doesn't quite describe it. Actually, I guess I'm glad you're here, too."
Tin smiled a little.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” My disappointment at his behavior had given way to curiosity.
“It never happened.” Now I finally saw the face that sighed.
"Why? Under other circumstances, you'd probably be even nicer, you look good." Had I complimented him?
"Thanks." An embarrassed smile accompanied the words. "The nice guys don't like my friends. None of them have ever stayed very long."
"Maybe you'd be with other ' friends better off '."
"If only it were that easy." Tin turned his head to the side. "I'm in debt, a lot of debt to the wrong people. My buddies... well, the small jobs help me get by pretty well. And this," his hand made a slight curve through the basement room, "you'll get rid of the debt. We'll get away, and I can make a fresh start."
"I see. I'm just the jackpot."
"Jakob, you don't have to believe me, but I'm sorry. It's too late to undo everything now. I'll make your stay as pleasant as possible." He gave me a pitying look.
"The worst part so far has been the loneliness. And not knowing which of you is coming downstairs. Mac obviously has no problem hurting me for no reason."
"No, he didn't. But that's why I'm here now. I can't watch this anymore. As I said, he's a sadist. That's why he only took the photo today. Your parents don't know anything for sure yet; he wanted them to worry first. Wear them down through ignorance. It increases their willingness to pay, he says."
“But Freddy…”
"Your friend stayed behind so they knew something had happened. But not why."
“Is he really okay?” The image of him lying bleeding on the ground kept circling through my head.
"He's conscious. According to the news, he was found in your house. Apathetic, in shock, but awake."
“When will I get out of here?” My stomach had turned into a painful lump as I talked about Frederik, and Tin seemed to sense what was going on inside me.
"I don't know exactly. Mac is handling the... ransom." The word was difficult for him. "Maybe two or three more days. I have no experience with this sort of thing."
A wave of fatigue washed over me, one I simply couldn't fight. And with it came the fear, which continued to manifest itself within me. As much as I wanted to believe Tin, Mac made me panic. The guy would get rid of me in other ways if necessary.
“I would like to sleep.”
"Okay. But unfortunately, I have to tie you down. Your eyes too. My buddy shouldn't see you like this."
I reluctantly nodded, but my options were limited. Tin set to work, tying my hands behind my head to a massive tube before the binding also blocked my vision. It was uncomfortable, but much better than in the other room, where my arms were constantly above my head.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a tone that could almost be described as concerned.
“No, but what choice do I have,” I retorted.
"Wait a minute."
He pushed the mattress closer to the pipe so I could rest my hands over my forehead. The position was significantly better, though not ideal. While I was still thinking about how to cross my arms behind my neck, Tin lifted my head and in turn tucked his arm under me. Inevitably, this also meant bringing his body closer to me. The intimacy of the situation confused me; this gesture was both comfortable and surprising. Regarding Freddy, I felt a profound sense of guilt.
"Should I leave you alone?" Tin must have seen the inner struggle on my face. As crazy as it seemed to me, I preferred his closeness to the lonely darkness. It almost exuded a feeling of security.
This also reminded me of my boyfriend. Everyone else automatically assumed that my little one was the passive part of our relationship and that I was the more dominant one, simply because he seemed petite and fragile. Physically, he was the exact opposite of me. Frederik, on the other hand, was very clear in his ideas and sometimes a real stubborn person. There were no defined roles between us; everyone was sometimes strong and sometimes weak.
In that basement, I was weak and longed for affection, which Tin readily offered me.
“It’s okay... better than before,” I replied.
He brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. "I'll wait here until you're asleep and then go over..."
His voice penetrated only faintly through the cottony silence that surrounded me just before I fell asleep.
"Are you okay?" Frederik's eyes shine like a summer day. A warm, blue glow caresses my face with concern.
"I don't know. It's this feeling... like something's wrong."
He puts his hand on my cheek and kisses my forehead. "I'll take care of you."
The warmth of his body lies on me like a blanket, exudes confidence and love, and gives me the feeling that together we can achieve anything.
His hand glides inquisitively over my stomach and lingers in my crotch. "I want to sleep with you," he whispers in his rough, dark voice.
Then he rolls on top of me, pressing himself longingly between my legs. I look at his face, see the lust in his eyes.
Reality distorts, his image flickers. As if a parallel world is superimposed over ours. Fragments of this alien dimension overlay his face. The lustful expression gives way to a grimace of pain. Blood flows from his forehead.
He smiles and moans, suffers and screams. The images change ever faster. I'm covered in blood. His face becomes a strobe of pleasure and pain, and I freeze, unable to move or speak.
My friend becomes diffuse, his slender form dissolves and becomes a shadow. A massive shadow, from which glowing red eyes stare down at me. Evil, cold, and threatening. 'You're not getting out of here, I'll kill you.' The threat is a promise. The shadowy hand wraps itself iron-like around my throat and squeezes. I suffocate, want to scream, want to free myself, thrash about, but my body doesn't move. My hands are transparent, hovering above my shell, blurring in spasmodic twitches.
'Jacob...' The voice calls me. 'Jacob... come to me!
I don't want to go, I don't want to die. I can't leave Freddy alone. 'Jakob!'
My face hurts, something is hitting me, my shell. My mind watches as my body's head is thrown back and forth under the blows. 'Jacob... come!'
"Jakob, damn it! Come to, you're dreaming!" The voice became clearer. Disoriented, I thrashed around and grabbed something. Warm and breathing, pressed close to me. Freddy?
I hugged him, grateful, pressed my face against his chest, and cried. It was only a dream.
“It’s all right, I’m with you.”
And then it hit me again, Freddy couldn't be here. "Let me go, Tin. Now!" I hissed.
"I just wanted to help. You had a nightmare." My rejection hurt him.
"Help? You're to blame for this nightmare. You and Mac. I hate you," I heard myself whisper. My nerves were fraying, and I burst into tears. Was this what fear of death felt like?
The dream had robbed me of all hope of getting out of here alive. Desperately, I took the initiative and clung to Tin again. Only then did I realize I was no longer bound. My joints ached, and there was blood on the red welts.
“I had to untie you, otherwise you would have torn your hands off,” he said, as if he had guessed my thoughts.
“I’m fucking scared.”
Instead of answering, he stroked my neck, and in the moment, I didn't care. No, it did matter: I felt gratitude. Tin, of all people, had become an anchor, keeping me back from the brink of madness. It wasn't long before my eyes closed again. All I noticed was him laying me back on the mattress and covering me with his jacket. He no longer tied my hands.
Freddy
We stared at the monitor, spellbound. Horror mixed with the certainty emanating from the email. Jakob leaped toward us, gigantic, covered in bruises and bloody welts. Below was the hefty demand for 450,000 euros.
The email came via an anonymous proxy server, as we soon discovered.
He looked so horrible, the image burned itself into our retinas. Andrea began to sob, and all I could hear from Roman was the grinding of his jaw. No one uttered a word. I was almost glad his eyes were blindfolded and we didn't have to see the expression in them.
"Those bastards!" My voice shattered the silence in the room. "What do we do now?" I added more quietly. This sum seemed so unimaginably enormous to me.
"I wonder what? We'll pay, of course. I'll call the bank." Roman spoke dangerously quietly, with suppressed anger. We had already informed the police shortly after receiving the email. Perhaps their experts would still be able to find out something about the sender.
Soon after, the doorbell rang and three plainclothes police officers entered.
"Van Bergen," one of the men, the youngest of the group, introduced himself. "I'm leading the investigation. Please show us the computer with the email."
The six of us huddled around the PC. Our visitors wore concerned expressions.
“Please bring me back my boy!” Andrea was almost hysterical.
“Mrs. Raller, we will do everything in our power to ensure he returns safely.”
"All right?" Roman growled darkly. "He doesn't look all right."
"Of course we understand you, but we have to keep our cool. Can you raise the ransom demanded?"
“Yes, the bank has it by tomorrow.”
"Good. We'll see if we can trace anything from the email. Otherwise, pick up the money tomorrow. My colleagues will drive to your bank later, where we'll deposit a prepared banknote. It's equipped with a transmitter that can't be easily detected. This will allow us to track its progress. A special team will also be on standby as soon as we have more information about the handover. Don't worry any more than you already do. Trust us, we'll do our best."
"And what will happen to Jacob if the police suddenly appear everywhere?" I didn't like the plan; the criminals might panic and then...
“I understand your concern... Frederik?”
I nodded. "But you can call me informally..."
He thought for a moment. "Then call me Fabian, for once," he offered, to everyone's surprise. "Experience shows that the kidnappers won't kill their hostage if they're surrounded. It weakens their position considerably," van Bergen explained. "Furthermore, the bag will be equipped with a transmitter that's relatively easy to detect. Perhaps this will make the kidnapper think he's outsmarted us and lull him into a false sense of security."
“If you haven’t killed him first,” I interjected bitterly.
"You can't think about that, young man." The police officer exuded a certain confidence, which rubbed off on me. He certainly had more experience with this, which I wasn't jealous of. This one time was enough.
"We'll stay in touch, here's my card," he said to Jakob's parents. Roman accepted it with a slight nod, and the three of them left after a brief goodbye.
Once again we were condemned to wait.