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*** Hello everyone. The author asked me to comment on this story. So if you don't like people constantly interrupting and making nasty comments, then you've come to the wrong place. Oh, and if you're interested, I'm Gloria. My age? Well, that's really beside the point! Well, let's get on with the story. Oh, and if I have something to say, it's written between asterisks.
So, the main character is a completely normal guy, just 16 years old and—how could it be otherwise—gay. If you're thinking that's already out of the question, you're wrong! That's the advantage of an omniscient narrator—I know he's gay. He doesn't. Oh, and for the record: His name is Nathan Ziegler, he's about 175 cm tall, has brown hair, and a pretty good figure. ***
Sleepily, Nathan gropes for the alarm clock that had just abruptly torn him from his dreams. Why couldn't the semester break have already started? No, instead, there were still a few tests and school assignments scheduled for the next few weeks.
Not that Nathan was a bad student, but somehow he lacked the right connection with the others. The other boys in his class were becoming increasingly interested in the girls, but he couldn't quite understand their interest. He only got along reasonably well with Robert. They often sat together in the afternoons, working on the math problems for the next lesson or discussing Cicero's speeches on various topics.
*** We'll skip the usual stuff like showering, brushing teeth, and so on, since everyone probably knows how it goes. The only thing worth noting is that Nathan only drinks a cup of coffee in the morning. So, after removing all the unimportant details, we accompany him straight to school. ***
Monday morning began as usual with a double chemistry lesson. Nathan and Robert, who were also sitting together in the chemistry lab, joined the rest of the class, who found it difficult to get excited about the professor's lectures at 7:30 a.m. on a Monday morning, surrounded by various chemicals—the architect would have been better off planning ventilation for the chemistry lab.
At least he was persuaded not to ignore the break as usual, but to treat himself to a snack.
"So, how were your holidays?"
"Oh, so-so. The usual. Christmas, then a short break from the festivities and an almost seamless transition to the New Year's Eve celebrations, and then the 'every year again' ski vacation," Robert replied.
"Well, yeah. Also during that shoot. And what did you do on New Year's Eve?"
"I actually wanted to go to Karin's party, but my parents wouldn't allow it. So I stayed home. We ate cold cuts, watched TV, and cast lead at midnight."
"And what did you find out?"
"No idea what that was. It looked awfully like goat shit. Great view."
"Take comfort, my New Year's Eve wasn't any more exciting." Nathan was about to begin his description, but the ringing interrupted him.
*** At this point, I'd like to finish where Nathan was interrupted. His New Year's Eve hadn't been any more exciting, especially since he hadn't been invited to Karin's party. ***
The rest of the morning went pretty much as usual. The two boys participated more or less actively in class, discussed their holidays, and made plans to meet after school. They were separated for the last two hours because Robert was attending art class, while Nathan had chosen music because his drawing skills were rather limited.
*** Not that music class was much more exciting—the curriculum claims 16-year-olds should be passionate about music history—but some art teachers are true pedagogical geniuses. And after asking for the umpteenth time what it was supposed to represent, Nathan decided he'd rather agonize over music history than opt for "advanced humiliation." ***
Nathan had barely started his math homework when Robert rang the doorbell.
"Hey, I was just about to start without you."
"Sorry, I couldn't leave earlier. My mom wasn't ready with dinner yet."
Shortly afterwards, the two sat over the examples and realized to their delight that the professor had had a good day.
“What do we do with the rest of the afternoon?”
"I don't know. What about if we just listen to music and chat a bit?"
"Okay. Put something on."
As the first bars of 'The Miracle Of Love' sounded, Robert's face took on a thoughtful expression.
"Tell me, have you ever really been in love?"
"I don't think so. And you?"
"Hmm, I don't really know. I met a nice girl on a skiing holiday..."
"So? Did you—you know?"
"What are you thinking? After that weird evening of fellowship at our inn, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, but that was it."
Nathan noticed that Robert was obviously still a bit stuck with his holiday acquaintance and therefore tried to change the subject.
"Do you know what movie we're seeing at the cinema on Thursday? Mrs. Stangler has been completely silent about it."
"I have no idea. But knowing her, it'll definitely be interesting. She just said it fits with our next topic, 'tolerance.'"
*** Ms. Stangler, nicknamed StaPe by the computer, was in charge of English instruction in the class. After four years with various other teachers, she took over the class last year and taught many a lazy student how to work. With her quick wit, she kept the classroom order like no other and often caused incredulous astonishment when she impressively maintained calm. ***
"I'm going to get some ice cream. Would you like one too? Hello!"
"Hmm, what did you say? I was just lost in thought."
"I noticed that. Would you like some ice cream?"
“Yes, of course,” Robert replied.
When Nathan came back with two cups of vanilla ice cream with thick chocolate sauce, Robert had changed the CD.
»Cos every time I seem to fall in love, Crash! Boom! Bang! I find the heart but then I hit the wall, Crash! Boom! Bang! ...«
"Here, your ice cream."
They spooned their ice cream in silence for a while, then Nathan said, "You loved her, didn't you?"
"I, I don't know. I don't even know what's wrong with me. You think you're just having fun together, and then you get a kiss and suddenly everything's different."
"Do you have her address?"
"No, I completely forgot that, idiot. But at least she asked me for mine."
*** Yeah, that's how men are. If we women didn't always think for them, some dream couples would probably have been lost forever. They were just prototypes, after all. ***
The two spent the rest of the afternoon playing various board games until Robert finally went home that evening. Nathan lay awake for a long time that evening, wondering how he could cheer Robert up, because this whole thing from the ski vacation was obviously bothering him more than he wanted to admit.
That night, he had another strange dream: He's standing in a large dance hall, and one after the other, all the girls in his class come in. But they all walk past him, and in the end, he's surrounded by dancing couples, and mocking, laughing faces circle around him.
The next morning, Nathan set off for school especially early because he really wanted to talk to Robert before the first lesson.
Robert was already there when Nathan came into the class.
"Hey, did you sleep well?" Nathan greeted him.
“Oh, okay,” Robert grumbled back.
"What's wrong? Have you been thinking about her all night?"
"I don't know. Anyway, I haven't been sleeping very well. I don't know what's been going on with me lately."
"Maybe you just long for a girl to share your life with?" "That's probably it."
*** It's always sweet when 16-year-old boys play Dr. Sommer. But let's see, maybe Nathan even hit the nail on the head. ***
»And in the next lesson we're going to start with the next topic. Please read page 37 in your textbook until then.«
"Mrs. Stangler?"
»And Nathan?«
"What movie are we seeing at the cinema on Thursday?"
"I don't want to reveal that yet."
Disappointed, Nathan went back to his seat where Robert was waiting for him, grinning.
"Well, you curious soul. Did you succeed?"
"No, you heard that."
In the afternoon, Robert called Nathan.
»Ziegler?«
"Hello, Ms. Ziegler, this is Robert Falkner. Is Nathan available?"
"Yes, just a minute, I'll get it. – Nathan, phone!"
A little later Nathan was downstairs.
"Who is it?"
»Robert.«
"Hello Robert, what's up?"
»Steffi wrote to me!«
"Who?"
"Steffi. You know, the girl from the ski vacation."
"And?"
"She writes that she thought I was really nice and that she's sorry we didn't meet sooner. - Hello, are you still there?"
"Yeah, yeah, I think it's really nice for you. Will you see each other again sometime?"
"She writes that she might come and visit during the semester break."
"Hey, so? Are you inviting her?"
"I don't know yet. I have to ask my parents first. See you tomorrow?"
"Sure, it's school anyway. See you then."
"See you then."
Nathan slowly hung up the phone and went back to his room. Suddenly, he felt empty inside. Somehow, he wholeheartedly congratulated Robert on his happiness, but he was also afraid. Afraid of losing his only friend.
When Robert was so sad, he could be there for him, but if he were to enter into a relationship now, he'd just be the fifth wheel. The longer he thought about it, the more horrible his vision of the future became, until finally, tears welled up and he cried himself to sleep.
*** Well, darling, I'd say based on the symptoms, it's a clear case. The stuff that love, intrigue, jealousy, and most daily soaps are made of. It remains to be seen whether the friendship is stronger. ***
When the alarm woke Nathan up in the morning, he was drenched in sweat and his bed was a mess. He'd slept pretty badly all night and been chased by monsters.
Nathan heavily made his way to the bathroom, washed his face with cold water, and finally realized that all his efforts to make the dark circles under his eyes disappear were in vain.
*** Yeah, who doesn't know the problem? Apparently, no makeup has been invented yet that truly covers dark circles. Welcome to real life, kid. ***
“Don’t dawdle around like that, you’ll be late for school,” his mother called from downstairs.
"I'm coming."
"Well, I think that's a rumor."
Nathan hurried to drink his coffee and get out of the house. His mother was in an unbearably good mood again, and although he wasn't usually a morning person, after that night he decided to skip it.
As soon as he arrived at school, Robert greeted him.
"Hey, I thought you weren't coming today."
"I didn't sleep well. What's wrong?"
"Here, this is him."
Robert waved a piece of paper in front of Nathan's nose.
"That's who?"
"Well, the letter. You're slow today."
"Oh, from your vacation acquaintance."
"Yes, that's it. Just look at that handwriting. So beautifully even and curved."
In fact, the page contained perfectly straight lines in beautiful handwriting.
"And the paper is even scented," Robert continued, clearly in seventh heaven.
Nathan wasn't even listening closely to what Robert was saying. He could only feel a lump growing in his throat, threatening to cut off his breath. He felt as if he was about to throw up his coffee at any moment. What was wrong with him? He should be genuinely happy for his friend that he was so in love. Was it jealousy of his happiness? Or simply fear of being alone?
The bell ringing for the first hour interrupted Robert's ravings and brought them both back down to earth.
For the last two classes, Nathan and Robert had gymnastics. Nathan actually hated gymnastics class because he wasn't athletic or passionate about sports. While he was fortunate that it didn't negatively affect his figure, he could have lived perfectly well without it.
In the first lesson there was musical gymnastics to cassettes that had already been out of fashion in the professor's youth, and then floor gymnastics was tested.
Nathan managed the various roll variations fairly well, but he more or less failed at cartwheels and handstands.
*** Yes, we're not learning for school, but for life. And if a pack of enemy agents ever comes after us, we can impress them with a handstand or a headstand, and then make a flying roll or cartwheel to escape. ***
In the second period, the professor was persuaded to form three teams and play soccer. Although Nathan usually hated this form of sport, it wasn't such a bad idea today.
Somehow, he felt the urge to kick the ball uncontrollably today. In the very first game, Nathan and Robert met as opponents.
Kick-off.
A player from the opposing team, who had been assigned to the defense, approached Nathan. It was Alexander. Nathan didn't like him because, in his eyes, he was a disgusting show-off who also had no brains. But he was an ace at sports, and the girls fell at his feet because of that, and also because of his toned physique. In an instant, Alexander outsmarted Nathan and put the ball in the goal.
"Try it with a little effort next time," Stefan grumbled at Nathan.
"Very funny. Go on, answer it yourself."
After ten minutes, Nathan's team had lost heavily, leaving the third team to battle against Alex and Co. After another ten minutes, the same team emerged victorious from the battle.
"This time I'll play defender and you'll go into midfield," Stefan said to Nathan.
"If you think."
“Maybe you can do more,” Stefan said with a mocking grin.
"Very funny."
Throughout the game, Nathan's team held on bravely and was even only one goal behind shortly before the end.
"We can still do that."
"Of course."
»Let's go!«
Shortly after kickoff, Nathan received the ball. Everyone else was covered by opposing players, so he made his way toward the goal alone.
"Don't screw this up," flashed through his mind. But Robert had already noticed that Nathan was trying to go it alone and ran towards him. Nathan was just a few meters away from the goal, and he took aim, but just as he was about to go through, Robert snatched the ball away from him.
But he hadn't expected that Nathan had already been in the shot, and now hit him with full force in the lower leg. The subsequent flight was followed by a hard landing.
The professor whistled for a foul and rushed to Robert, who was lying on the ground groaning and holding his foot. Nathan stood there, stunned, not knowing what to say or do.
“Let me feel, is anything broken?” asked the professor.
"No, I, I don't think so, but it hurts like hell."
"Nathan, go outside with him and put some cool compresses on his leg. You got the red card, by the way."
"After class, I'll take you to the hospital so a doctor can look at your foot," he said to Robert before he hobbled to the dressing room with Nathan's help.
"Hey, I'm really sorry," Nathan said, "but I didn't want to mess it up and I just couldn't stop."
"It's okay. Next time I'll give you a wide berth if you come with a ball."
"I hope it's nothing serious."
"It's no big deal, it'll be fine in a few days. It'll be a nice bump."
"Why bump?"
"Well, because I hit the ground pretty hard when I landed."
"Wait, I'll put a cold cloth on there too."
"Leave it. I'm not a washerwoman. It's okay. It's not that tragic. Hey, don't look so freaked out. People might think you killed someone."
Before they could continue talking, the crowd stormed out of the gym. Robert and Nathan also started changing, and a little later the professor arrived.
"Ready to leave, Robert?"
"Yes right away."
"Can I come along too? After all, I'm the one to blame for this whole mess."
"Well done."
Arriving at the hospital, they discovered that today had apparently been a popular day for accidents. Almost all the seats in the waiting room were taken, and the nurse at the reception desk said it would probably take a while.
After completing the formalities, the professor said to the two of them: "Unfortunately, I can't stay with you because I have a dentist appointment myself, but I hope I can rely on you not to do anything stupid."
"It's fine. I can't do any big jumps anyway."
After the professor left and some time had passed, Nathan said, "What do you think about me sitting down and you sitting on my lap? My feet are about to fall off."
"Are you crazy? I'm not gay!"
"What does that have to do with it?"
"Only girls do that!"
After an endless two hours, it was finally Robert's turn.
The doctor said that luckily it was only a minor bruise and the bone wasn't damaged. "No sports for the next few weeks and just rest completely. Also, rub in this ointment twice a day and bandage it with a bandage* during the day." (* Austrian: Fasche – German: elastic bandage)
Robert called his parents from the hospital and his father came to pick up the two boys.
"Your mother was very upset when she heard you were calling from the hospital. But I calmed her down right away and told her it wasn't that bad."
"Thanks, Dad."
“But next time, be more careful when you defend yourself,” said Mr. Falkner with a wink.
Nathan sat silently in the car the whole way and watched the streets go by.
"Are you asleep? We're here."
"Oh. I was just lost in thought. Thanks for bringing me home, Mr. Falkner. And sorry again about your bruised foot."
"It's not that bad. See you tomorrow."
"Okay. See you later. Bye."
That evening, too, Nathan lay awake for a long time, pondering. Why had everything become so complicated? He used to sit on Robert's lap and nobody cared. And now, all of a sudden, it was gay?
"Does sitting on a man's lap make you gay? What is gay, anyway? Isn't it weird when you kiss a man?" Finally, Nathan fell asleep, dreaming of fairies, elves, and better days.
The next morning, Nathan was in a hurry to get to school because he didn't want to miss the cinema.
*** Cinema isn't recommended until after the fourth hour, but that's just how young people are. Boisterous and enthusiastic. It's nice, isn't it? ***
The others in Nathan's class were similarly curious, and so this was one of the rare days when everyone was already at school well before the first lesson. And, of course, there was a lot of guessing and speculation about which film would be on the program. The wildest speculations suggested films, but the needle of probability burst many a bubble.
After an endless two and a half hours of school, Ms. Stangler finally came in to pick up the class. Mr. Kettenbauer, the class's math teacher, was even glad to be able to leave early, as attention had already plummeted to near zero.
Five minutes later, the entire class was standing in front of the school gate, ready to leave. "We're going to the movie theater now. The owner of the theater has agreed to hold an extra screening for us this morning. So let's go."
*** A little side note: The Filmpalast is a small cinema that, in addition to the usual Hollywood fare, also shows more upscale films and original versions. ***
Arriving at the cinema, Ms. Stangler paid for the class and agreed with the owner that she needed a few minutes with the class before the film started.
»Sit down and shut up please. Today we're going to see a film about two boys discovering their identity and feelings. The film will be in English, but there are German subtitles. I would ask you to try to follow the film without reading them. Homework until Saturday is to write down the plot of the film. Ok. Let's go now. Film ab bitte.«
After discovering the film's title was 'Beautiful Thing,' Nathan started thinking again—as much as he could think about it casually. Surely he'd heard the title somewhere before? Or was it just his imagination?
Jamie wants to rub Ste's back and lets him smell a bottle of peppermint foot balm.
Jamie: »Like it and I rub it into your back ... If you want.«
Jamie: »Cold, isn't it?«
Ste: »Yeah.«
Jamie gently rubs Ste's back, but is careful not to touch the bruises.
Nathan watched in disbelief, becoming increasingly confused. Why didn't he find it repulsive? What was this strange tingling sensation that was driving him crazy? And why did something start to stir in his pants when one boy rubbed another's back?
Jamie: »Have you ever kissed anyone and stuck your tongue in?«
Ste: »How can I do this?«
Jamie: »It ain't ugly.«
Ste: »With me it'd be ugly.«
Jamie: »I don't think you're ugly.«
Jamie: »Turn over, I do your front.«
Ste: »I can't ... I'm too sore.«
"Shh! Robert. Why doesn't he turn around?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's got a boner."
"How come?"
"I don't know. Don't ask such stupid questions."
Ste: »Turn the light off ... Please.«
Jamie: »I don't wanna.«
She quickly slips under the covers and the two lie head to toe.
Jamie: »Can I come up there?«
You: "Well."
Jamie: »Please.«
Ste: »Stay where you are!«
Ste watches Jamie anxiously, struggling with himself. Finally, he turns and lies face to face with Jamie.
Ste: »Satisfied?«
Jamie: »Mhm ... Night.«
Jamie kisses Ste on the lips. Fearful glances follow, turning into tender ones.
Ste: »Do you think I'm queer?«
Jamie: »Don't know what I think.«
Jamie turns off the light.
Jamie: »Can I touch you?«
Ste: »I'm a bit sore.«
Jamie: »Yeah.«
Jamie touches Ste tenderly...
1996 Channel Four Corporation)
Nathan barely registered the rest of the film; the emerging emotions consumed his entire attention. It became increasingly clear to him that he, Nathan Ziegler, was gay.
And he envied Ste and Jamie. He wanted to have a friend too, to be held, caressed, kissed.
*** Nathan is so preoccupied with himself that he doesn't even notice that Robert has been leaning his leg against his the whole time and even briefly touches Nathan's knee during a kissing scene. Was that a coincidence? We'll see. ***
When the film ended and the others had already stood up to gather in the anteroom, Nathan was still sitting in his chair, staring transfixed at the screen.
"Hey, wake up! We're leaving," said Robert. "What's wrong? Did you see a ghost or do you have a crush?"
After these words, Nathan jumped up and stormed out of the cinema past Mrs. Stangler and the others.
"Nathan! Stop! You can't just run away like that. You stay here."
But when Mrs. Stangler came out of the cinema and looked around, Nathan was already gone.

Part
2
–
Coming
Out
Nathan ran three blocks before he ran out of breath. Breathless, he leaned against a wall. A wave of problems loomed before his mind, ready to crash down on him at any moment.
"Gays kidnap children."
"Gays are obsessed with youth."
"Gays die alone."
"Gays have AIDS."
"Gays are perverts."
"Gays live against nature."
"Gays..."
The sentences raced through Nathan's head faster and faster, spinning in circles—faster! Faster! Faster!
Nathan didn't even notice his knees going weak and the ground beneath his feet giving way. A brief feeling of dizziness and blackness settled over his face like a blanket before he passed out.
*** It's truly irresponsible to inflict such stupid prejudices on young people (and everyone else, too). And when they're affected themselves, something like this happens, and everyone is surprised. Hopefully, this will turn out well for Nathan. ***
“Hey, man, wake up,” was the first thing Nathan heard again.
He slowly opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but was immediately gently held back by a hand. As the fog lifted, he looked into two bright blue eyes.
The owner of these two eyes might have been just 18 years old.
"What, what happened?" asked Nathan.
The boy replied, "I just came from the drugstore over there and saw you fall over here like a log. I couldn't just stand by and watch."
Only now did Nathan notice that the unknown helper was kneeling beside him without a jacket, and that the jacket was under his head. The pleasant scent filled his nostrils.
"What's your name, actually?"
"Nathan. And you?"
"Manuel. Come on, I'll help you up, otherwise you'll catch a cold here on the floor."
Before Nathan could protest, Manuel grabbed him under the shoulders as if he were carrying an unconscious man.
Was he imagining it or did Manuel hold him for a moment longer than necessary?
"You know what? Let's go to that café over there and have some hot tea to get your circulation going again."
Nathan wanted to reply, but Manuel's determination tolerated no contradiction.
Shortly afterwards they sat opposite each other with a cup of hot fruit tea.
“Has something like this happened to you before?” asked Manuel.
"Uh. How? What?" Nathan's thoughts were already elsewhere.
*** Well, not really anywhere else. On the one hand, he'd been lost in Manuel's eyes, and on the other, he was wondering if he was really gay. We'll see how this continues. It's really sizzling and exciting. ***
"I meant, have you ever fainted?"
"Actually not."
After a short pause, Nathan asked, "Are you still going to school?"
"Yes. But not here. I won't be going to the local high school until next semester. We just moved here recently, and I'm finishing the semester at my old school."
"Hey, then we'll probably see each other more often. I go to the gym here too. And what grade are you in?"
»7. And you?«
"I'm only in 6th grade. I would have thought you were older."
"That's probably because, at 189 cm, I'm not exactly average height for my age. Hmm. I have to go now, unfortunately, or my mother will worry. You know how it is. But if you want, you can come along. My parents certainly won't mind."
"Hmm. Yes, gladly."
After paying, they set off. Manuel's house was located in a residential area on the outskirts of town, so they took a few stops by bus. After walking a few more blocks, they found themselves in front of a charming single-family home.
"Here we are. Do you like it?"
"Yeah, nice. Let's go inside, it's starting to snow."
"Hello, who's home?"
"Hello Manuel, I'm here in the kitchen."
A pleasantly soft female voice came from the kitchen.
"I have a visitor," said Manuel and went into the kitchen with Nathan.
"This is Nathan. And this is my mother."
"Hello, Ms. Um..." Nathan felt himself blush.
"Wallner," added Manuel's mother, "But that's okay. Just make yourself at home here—as much as you can. We haven't finished unpacking everything yet. Manuel probably already told you that we just moved here."
"Yes, I did. We'll go over to my room then."
"Is good."
"Don't be alarmed when you go in, it still looks a bit old," said Manuel.
*** Always such understatements. The room contained only the furniture—a wide bed, by the way—and a ton of large and small moving boxes. There was also a lot of unpacked stuff in between, waiting to be put away. ***
"I can't disagree with you," Nathan said with a cheeky grin.
"Let's just sit on the bed, the chair is already full," Manuel suggested. "Well, this is my future kingdom."
"What is that?" asked Nathan, pointing to a colorful piece of fabric hanging from one of the boxes.
Manuel blushed a little and looked embarrassed: "Oh, it's just a flag, nothing more." He quickly tried to stuff the piece of fabric back into the box.
"Can I see it? What do you need it for?"
*** 100 points for you, sweetheart! Ever heard of sensitivity, tact, or tact? The guy turns red and tries to hide it quickly, and you dig in without hesitation or mercy... ***
Hesitantly, Manuel pulled a rainbow flag out of the box. The flag seemed somehow familiar to Nathan, but he couldn't figure out where. After Nathan examined the flag, Manuel carefully folded it back up and put it back in the box.
"Where did you get these?" asked Nathan.
"It was a gift from my mother."
Meanwhile, Manuel had sat back down on the bed next to Nathan, and they were now sitting only a leg's width apart. Manuel's proximity confused Nathan, as did the strange tingling sensation that had been running through him the whole time.
The conversation had reached a standstill anyway, and they were just gazing deep into each other's eyes. Nathan lost himself in those radiant eyes, immersed himself in them, and took off. He wanted to touch Manuel, hold him, simply feel his warmth.
But at that moment, Manuel jumped up and looked at Nathan with fear-filled eyes. "Do you hate me now? I think it's better if you leave now."
Nathan didn't know what was going on and didn't respond to Manuel's request.
"Please go. Go!"
"What's wrong, why should I hate you?"
"Well, because of the matter."
"What kind of thing?"
*** Honey, you're really more naive than the police allow. The guy picks you up off the street, takes you for tea, takes you home, has a rainbow flag, looks deep into your eyes, and sits within touching distance. What else do you need to figure out what's going on? A billboard on the main road? Radio announcements? Oh well. Then back to the action. ***
During the conversation, they moved toward Manuel's bedroom door. "That I'm gay. I like guys."
*** It's a shame you can't see Nathan's expression. I've rarely seen a dumberer one. ***
Nathan's confusion escalated beyond measure. Was this something bad? With moist eyes, Manuel walked him to the door and briefly raised his hand in farewell before closing the door behind Nathan.
Now Nathan stood amidst dancing snowflakes, not knowing what was happening to him. He felt like crying. He slowly made his way toward the city.
But at the very first intersection, he changed his plan and walked aimlessly through the settlement. The longer he walked, the clearer his thoughts became, the more he made up his mind. He had to go back to Manuel and tell him that he didn't hate him, that he felt the same way.
After two laps around the block, he finally plucked up the courage to ring the bell. Mrs. Wallner opened the door. For a moment, her face seemed to express something like relief, or was he just imagining it?
"Sorry to bother you again, but I think I left my fountain pen at Manuel's."
*** Boy, boy, I've heard a lot of bad excuses, but this one beats them all. ***
"Just go back, he's in his room."
Nathan wondered if Mrs. Wallner really hadn't noticed the argument, or if she was just a good actress.
He timidly knocked on the door to Manuel's room. A tentative "Come in" followed, and Nathan went in. Manuel was obviously surprised that it was Nathan and tried to look friendly, but Nathan noticed that he had apparently been crying a moment before.
He quickly closed the door.
"I've been thinking again about what you said before."
“And?” Manuel replied anxiously.
"I've realized a few things," Nathan said, taking a step closer to Manuel. When Nathan was now standing directly in front of him, Manuel lowered his head. Nathan gently lifted his chin, looked briefly into his blue eyes, which were looking at him anxiously and questioningly, and gave him a gentle kiss on the mouth.
"You too?" Manuel stammered, but Nathan just quietly gestured to him not to ruin the moment with words and hugged him. It seemed like an eternity in seventh heaven, as they stood there, embracing each other. He felt Manuel's hand resting in his hair, he felt his closeness, his warmth, the wonderful scent.
After a seemingly endless embrace, they separated.
"Since when did you know?" Nathan asked.
"Good question. I've only been aware of it since I was 16, actually. I've had crushes on boys before, but I just couldn't figure it out. And you?"
"Since this morning. We were watching 'Beautiful Thing' in the cinema and that's when it suddenly became clear to me."
"And it all became a bit much for you."
"Exactly. Does anyone actually know about you?"
"So my best friends know, and my parents, and of course the guys in the group."
"What kind of group?"
"I meet up twice a month with other gay guys around our age. It's a bit of a drive, but it's worth it. Want to come next time?"
"Well, I don't know."
"Don't panic, no one will bite. They've all been through the same thing as you."
"I'll think about it. I think I have to go now, otherwise my mother will file a missing person report. You know how mothers are."
"See you tomorrow?"
"Let's see if the teachers are merciful tomorrow."
"I'll definitely write down my phone number for you. Will you give me yours too?"
"Yeah, sure." After successfully exchanging numbers, Manuel accompanied Nathan to the front door and hugged him goodbye.
"Well then, take care and see you soon."
“Yes, you too,” Nathan said goodbye.
*** Well, just kiss him! Everyone in the house already knows that you're head over heels in love, and no one's watching anyway. ***
Despite saying goodbye, they still stood in front of the locked front door, holding hands. Manuel gazed deeply into Nathan's eyes, and Nathan, too, was lost in them. Manuel gently pulled him closer and whispered a questioning "May I?"
»Was?«
*** Boy, boy. What do you think? Crochet yourself a potholder? ***
"Kiss you."
Instead of answering, Nathan pulled Manuel even closer to him and shortly afterwards their tongues were already dancing the lovers' dance.
Full of pleasure and affection, they explored each other, Nathan's hand slipping under Manuel's shirt, and Manuel, too, embarked on an exploration. A little later, when Nathan's jacket was already on the floor, the two were interrupted by a clearing of the throat.
"I don't want to disturb you both, but wouldn't you like to continue in your room?" said Mrs. Wallner.
Nathan immediately blushed. "We, I mean I, I mean we..."
"It's okay. I know about it and I don't have a problem with it. To be honest, I was even hoping you'd come back. But don't let it bother you any longer."
"I really have to go now. See you tomorrow. I promise."
"Okay, see you later." One last kiss was exchanged and then we really went out into the cold reality.
*** Well, he can really count himself lucky with this mother-in-law. Another woman might have chased him out of the house as soon as she woke up from her faint. ***

Part
3
–
Almost
Unreal
Outside in the clear winter air, it became increasingly clear to Nathan that he was head over heels in love with this boy he had just kissed so passionately. And what had seemed like the end of the world just a few hours ago took on a completely different tone. Nathan set off for home in high spirits.
At home he was immediately welcomed by his mother.
"Tell me, do you actually know what time it is? You could have at least called."
Only now did Nathan realize that he should have been home a few hours ago.
"I'm sorry, I totally lost track of time."
And before his mother could ask any further questions, Nathan disappeared into his room.
The next morning, Nathan was immediately greeted by Robert at school.
"Tell me, what was going on yesterday? You were running like who knows what was after you."
Nathan felt himself blush. What should he do? He didn't want to lie to his best friend, but he couldn't tell him the truth.
He wasn't even sure if he had dreamed it all. But Manuel's kisses had tasted too real for that.
"I guess I can't get anything out of you," said Robert. "Then let's go downstairs. We have gymnastics again today."
"Do you think Mrs. Stangler will say something to my parents?"
"I don't know. She definitely said you should contact her today."
On the way to the gym, Nathan wondered what Mrs. Stangler wanted from him. Did she already know everything and just want him as a messenger for his death sentence? Did she want to know what was going on?
As they entered the locker room, he immediately found a distraction from his thoughts. Something was different today. He hurried to put on his gym clothes and tried not to look at anyone.
But what was different?
Hadn't he always been gay?
Was he afraid of getting an erection in front of everyone?
*** Oh, he's really not making it easy for himself. Nothing happened the many times before, either. ***
After an interminable three hours, Nathan went to the conference room during the break to report to Ms. Stangler. After she arrived, she told Nathan they had something to discuss. They went into a small meeting room, and Ms. Stangler gestured for Nathan to sit down.
"I assume you had a good reason to run away yesterday," she said calmly.
Nathan felt himself turning bright red again.
"I, um, I, well..."
"I haven't told anyone about this yet because I think we can sort it out. But you have to realize that you could have gotten me into a lot of trouble. If anything had happened to you, I would have been fully responsible."
"I'm sorry."
"Then we'll consider this a done deal. Right, I still have to get my things for my next class. Stay here a moment and think everything through again."
As she picked up her bag, a small booklet fell out.
"You've lost something there."
"Oh, look, it can stay there. I don't need it anymore. Anyway, I really have to go now."
In the doorway she turned around again: "Oh yes."
Nathan looked up questioningly.
"Go your way and be happy."
With these words, she closed the door behind her. Nathan stood up and went to the magazine lying on the floor next to the sofa where Ms. Stangler had just been sitting. It was the magazine of a gay group. Somehow, it dawned on him that Ms. Stangler knew more than he had thought.
*** But surely, darling, that woman didn't become a teacher for nothing. She can empathize with her students. And when someone sits there on 'Beautiful Thing' as if they've been struck by lightning and then runs away, that's almost like a coming out. ***
"And?" Robert immediately wanted to know how the conversation with Mrs. Stangler went.
"Everything's fine. The case is closed."
"How did you manage that?"
"I won't say."
"And what do you have there?" asked Robert, pointing to the notebook that Nathan had put in a plastic bag.
And once again Nathan felt the blush rising as he searched for a plausible answer.
"The?"
»Yes, exactly!«
"Well, it's one of those things, a, a, a movie program."
*** Yeah, yeah. Look, there's a pink dinosaur flying. ***
"May I take a look?"
"Um, well, actually..."
"Then let's leave it. Let's go into town this afternoon."
"Uh, I'm sorry, but I still have to learn history."
"But he's not checking tomorrow."
"So I thought... well, learn something."
“Well then, don’t,” said Robert and went to his seat.
For the rest of the morning, Nathan just waited for the school day to end so he could hurry home and go to Manuel after completing the most necessary tasks.
After three more lessons, Nathan hurried to get home, but Robert wanted to learn an explanation for the history excuse.
"Tell me, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing, what's wrong?" Nathan felt his nervousness increasing immeasurably.
"So you can tell someone else that nothing's wrong, you're behaving too differently than usual."
'Oh my God, so it's already obvious,' Nathan thought.
"I'm sorry, but I really have to go now. My mom is probably already waiting with dinner. See you tomorrow."
"Okay, see you tomorrow."
On the way home, Nathan started to think again. He had to tell Robert, or their friendship would be at risk. After all, he couldn't lie forever. On the other hand, he was worried that Robert would turn away.
After finishing lunch and completing the most necessary tasks, he immediately called Manuel.
“Wallner,” a woman’s voice answered.
"Hello, Ms. Wallner, this is Nathan. I wanted to ask if Manuel was available."
"Yes, just a minute, I'll get it."
Nathan heard the receiver being placed next to the phone.
'What if he can't or doesn't want to remember me at all?', it flashed through his mind, 'or if he just wants to use me?'
*** Now, make a point! First of all, you can always ask yourself that question when the time comes. And secondly, you weren't exactly shy and reserved yesterday either. ***
"Hi Nathan, I thought you weren't going to call anymore."
"Sorry, I still had homework to do."
"Would you like to come over?"
"Sure, I'll get going right away."
“You’d better put on some shoes,” Manuel joked.
"See you then."
"Yes, see you then."
He quickly changed his clothes and headed for Manuel's. The closer he got, the more exhilarated his heart felt. When he finally rang the Wallners' doorbell, Manuel opened the door at the same moment.
"Hey, were you standing behind the door?"
"Not exactly. It's nice to have you here."
With these words, he pulled Nathan inside and closed the door. The next moment, they were embracing and kissing passionately.
"Well, if it isn't Nathan," said a voice from the background.
The two separated.
"Hello, Mrs. Wallner."
"Hello Nathan. I didn't mean to bother you. I just have to go for a minute, but I guess you'll be fine without me."
"I will take care of Nathan selflessly," Manuel replied.
After a brief goodbye, the two went to Manuel's room, which, much to Nathan's surprise, seemed much tidier than the day before.
"Wow, what happened here?"
"I thought maybe you'd prefer order to chaos."
"Well, it doesn't look that great at my place either."
In fact, several boxes had already disappeared, and some shelves had been partially restocked. Nathan was particularly taken with the large stereo system.
"So, what's it like? I want to get a decent system now, but I don't know which one yet."
"Yeah, it's pretty good. Wait a minute, I'll put something on."
"Do you like Eurythmics too?" Nathan asked as the first bars of 'Sweet Dreams' sounded.
*** No, I can't stand the song, but thanks to my clairvoyance, I knew you liked it, so I put it on. Stupid question. ***
"Yes, I've always loved how Annie slips into all sorts of roles." They sat down on the bed and let the music sink in.
As is typical for newly in love couples, they didn't sit next to each other for long before they kissed passionately again. Soon they were lying on the bed, tightly embraced, caressing each other.
*** And as it happens, the excess clothing falls away over time, and we soon find the two in underwear—cute little things, by the way. ***
Manuel tenderly stroked the ever-growing bulge between Nathan's legs. Nathan got goosebumps and began to tremble.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"I'm just not sure if I'm ready for this yet. It's all happening so quickly."
Manuel gently stroked Nathan's back.
"Yesterday I didn't know what was wrong with me, and now I'm lying here next to you. On the one hand, I'd like to, but on the other, I'm afraid."
"I know that feeling. But I think I know something. Just relax and enjoy it."
*** Well, Nathan seems to have more luck than sense. Many others would have just carried on, or perhaps pulled the old 'If you love me, then you'll sleep with me' trick. Well, let's see what good he came up with. ***
Manuel had Nathan lie stretched out on his stomach. Then he gently began to caress and fondle every inch of the exposed body. He began by stroking and massaging Nathan's feet, stroked and kissed his way up his thighs, lingering at the backs of his knees, then moved on, and finally kneaded the perky bottom that presented itself to him.
Then he kissed and caressed his way up his spine, massaged Nathan's shoulders and neck, gently stroked his hair, nibbled on his earlobes, and finally ran his tongue down his spine once more before turning Nathan onto his back.
Nathan wanted to sit up a little and kiss Manuel, but Manuel gently pushed him down onto the mattress and slid down. Again, he caressed his feet, stroked and kissed his thighs until he reached his loins.
He gently stroked the bulge left and right, nearly driving Nathan crazy. Then he slid a little higher and began to play with Nathan's navel with his tongue, moving higher, nibbling and sucking tenderly on the nipples, which were hard and large.
And then his path led him back to Nathan's earlobes, which he nibbled on while running his fingers through his hair. Finally, he kissed him on the tip of his nose, ran his fingertips over his moist, glossy lips, and finally ended the whole thing with a never-ending kiss.
*** Honey, turn off the TV and come over here, I need you, um, I need you urgently. ***
Nathan pulled Manuel close to him.
"Let's do it. I'm going to lose my mind here otherwise," he whispered in Manuel's ear.
»Ok.«
While Nathan tried to rob him of his last covering, Manuel fished two condoms out of the bedside table drawer.
"So we don't have children," he said with a grin, as he peeled Nathan out of his pants.
The condom was quickly in place and a little later Nathan felt much relieved.
"Oh, banana," he said as he counterattacked.
Finally, they lay in bed, tightly embraced and cuddling.
"I never thought sex could be so beautiful," Nathan said, "you almost drove me crazy."
"You seem to have liked it quite a bit," Manuel grinned.
Instead of answering, Nathan kissed him again and let his hand slide lower.
"Not that I mind, but I expect my mother will be back any minute. And as quiet as you were earlier..."
Nathan blushed a little.
"It's no problem. There was no one there to listen."
*** By the way, I'm back now. Sorry I left you alone for a moment, but it was necessary. ***
In fact, Manuel’s mother came home a little later.
"I'm sorry, but it took a little longer. I hope you managed without me."
"Yes, thank you. Manuel really took care of me selflessly."
"I can imagine that," Mrs. Wallner grinned, which once again brought a hint of red to Nathan's face. "Would you please help me bring in the groceries?"
As it turned out, the 'quick trip' had turned into a full-blown weekly shopping trip and there was quite a bit to bring in.
“How about having dinner with us tonight?” said Mrs. Wallner.
"Sure, I just need to let my parents know first. Can I use your phone?"
A little time and a lot of persuasion later, that was also resolved and Nathan went back into the room with Manuel.
"Well, I'm kind of a little nervous."
"How come?"
"Well, my first family dinner as a son-in-law," Nathan grinned.
"Oh, you don't need to be so dramatic about it. My parents have known about it for a while and can handle it well. As long as you don't act like an animal, there's no problem."
"Then I'm somewhat reassured. And what do we do until dinner?"
"How about listening to some music and cuddling?"
"Hmm," Nathan said thoughtfully, and after a seemingly indifferent "If you say so," he pulled Manuel into his room and kissed him passionately just outside the door.
*** So, let's turn the wheel of time a few hours and lots of kissing. ***
Finally, Mrs. Wallner called the two to the table, and, hungry from all the kissing, they quickly answered her call. They were served grilled chops with fried potatoes and leccho.
Nathan looked with interest but caution at Mr. Wallner, who was just coming through the door.
"You must be Nathan," he said, and immediately shook his hand.
After everyone had filled their plates and sat at the table, Mr. Wallner raised his glass.
"Then let's drink to you both. We're happy you two have found each other and wish you all the best."
Then the friendly fifty-two-year-old with the silver curl turned to Nathan.
"Since you're now part of the family, so to speak, we'd appreciate it if you called us Franziska and Wolfgang."
The rest of the dinner was quite casual and cheerful, and Nathan also began to thaw out a bit after a while.
Finally, the time came to say goodbye again and with a last tender kiss, Nathan made his way home.

Part
4
–
Heading
For
Troubles
The following weekend, Nathan spent as much time as possible with Manuel. He would have loved to spend the entire weekend with him, but he was afraid it might make his parents suspicious.
Robert was a little annoyed because he didn't understand why Nathan suddenly had so little time for him. Finally, on Monday, he took him aside during recess.
"Tell me, what's wrong with you? Ever since we saw that movie, you barely have time for anything and don't even really listen when people talk to you."
"Oh, nonsense. I just have a lot to do right now, that's all."
"And I'm supposed to buy that from you?"
"Believe it or not, it's true," Nathan answered defiantly, turning and leaving. Robert watched him go, shaking his head.
Nathan went into the old wardrobe, which was now used as a storage room for various things. At least here, no one would bother him. As he watched things unfold, he felt tears welling up in his eyes.
He had just lied to his best friend again, offending him. If only he could just tell him the truth, but he was afraid Robert wouldn't understand.
When the bell rang for the next class, Nathan hurried to wash his face so that not everyone would see that he had been crying.
The weeks leading up to the semester break all went similarly. Nathan met with Manuel more or less secretly, tried not to neglect school too much, and met up with Robert once or twice, although these meetings were more motivated by feelings of guilt, as Nathan could hardly look him in the eye anymore.
*** So, if he doesn't find the courage to tell Robert he's gay soon, I fear this friendship will go down the drain. ***
"And are you looking forward to the holidays?"
"Sure, just a few more days and Steffi will be here."
"Oh yeah, you told me. What do your parents think about you getting female visitors?"
"Oh, they're very open-minded about it, even if they don't talk about it much. She sleeps in my bed, of course, while I make myself comfortable in my sleeping bag on the floor. But my parents seem to think it'll be more of a thing; yesterday I found a pack of condoms under the pillow."
"Well then, I wish you both lots of fun."
"Let's see. How are you doing in the love department? You've been keeping your cards close to your chest lately."
"I think there's something I should tell you."
“What?” asked Robert with an astonished face.
"Well, there's a reason I've had so little time lately."
"I almost thought so. Now don't make it so exciting."
"Well, I'm head over heels in love."
"Hey, that's great. Then the four of us can do something together during the semester break. Who's the lucky one?"
"Well, there's something else," said Nathan, feeling a lump rise in his throat. "There's no 'lucky one,' it's a boy."
Robert couldn't hide his astonishment. "You? What?! You're a faggot?"
*** Truly insightful, sweetheart. Do you even realize how difficult it was for him to tell you that? ***
Nathan felt the tears welling up and ran away.
He walked purposefully to the spot where he had sat for so many hours, with or without Robert. As he sat in the snow on the bank of the stream, staring at the air bubbles beneath the ice, there was no stopping him.
He felt the tears hot on his cheeks and couldn't stop sobbing. They'd been friends for so long, and now it was all over just because he loved Manuel? Angrily, he threw a lump of ice onto the blue-silver surface in front of him. Small chunks of ice flew away as it hit the ice and slid across it.
The crunching of footsteps in the snow made him turn around.
"So, is he good to you?" Robert had come.
Without waiting for Nathan's response, he continued: "I'm sorry I reacted so stupidly earlier. I was just kind of surprised. I just thought I knew you. But I guess I missed 'that.' But no matter who you love, we'll still be friends."
With these words, Robert offered him his hand. Nathan hesitantly took it, and the handshake turned into a hug.
Again Nathan felt tears on his cheeks.
“You’re crying,” Robert stated.
"Yes, but this time it's a relief that I didn't lose my best friend."
After talking for a while, Nathan set out to tell Manuel about his coming out.
“Hey, that went great,” Manuel hugged Nathan.
"Sure, the four of us can do something together. But how about doing something together as a trio in the next few days?"
"Okay, can I just make a quick phone call? Then I can arrange something with Robert right away."
A little later, the three of us agreed to go for a stroll through the city the next day.
Nathan could hardly sleep that night because the events of the day still preoccupied him.
So he was so glad the next day when school was over. He and Robert strolled to the agreed-upon meeting point.
Manuel lingered a little longer. Five minutes later, he came running in, red-faced. He gave Nathan a kiss and apologized for being late.
"I hope you haven't been waiting too long, but I had to get something and there was another endless line at the checkout."
"We haven't waited long anyway. Oh yes, even though you might have guessed, Manuel, this is Robert, Robert, this is Manuel."
The two shook hands briefly, having already surreptitiously examined each other beforehand.
"Good, so what do we do now?"
"Well, I suggest we go get something to eat first, otherwise I'll die of hunger right here."
"Well, don't exaggerate so shamelessly, you won't fall off the wagon that easily," said Manuel.
"Are you telling me you think I'm fat?" Nathan replied with mock insult.
When Robert saw the two of them like that, he hoped that he would get along just as well with Steffi.
*** I'd like to briefly summarize the rest of the afternoon, because not much has happened so far.
They were actually just wandering through the different shops, trying on something here and there or – Nathan and Manuel – needing a fitting room for a passionate kiss.
Robert was occasionally torn between emotions; sometimes he was happy for his friend, sometimes he envied his happiness. Let's see what the holidays and Steffi bring him. ***
Eventually, the three of them parted ways. Robert had to go home, and Manuel and Nathan also went to Manuel's. After arriving there and Mrs. Wallner greeted Nathan, they retreated to Manuel's room.
*** We'll give them both a little privacy again. How's the weather where you are? Nice? Well, that's fabulous. ***
As they finally lay cuddled together, heated, Manuel asked, "Would you like to come to the youth group on Saturday?"
"If you come with me, yes."
"Okay, then we'll just meet at the train station at 12. Oh, and just so you don't get surprised: There'll probably be a guy there who once wanted something from me and has been holding a grudge against me ever since because I turned him down."
"Okay, but now I have another idea," said Nathan, turning back to Manuel.
On Saturday, Nathan hurried home after his last class to rush to the train station after the usual beautification rituals.
"I thought you weren't coming back," Manuel greeted him with a kiss.
"I just couldn't decide what to wear."
"You would have come without it."
"Very funny. I hope we get an empty compartment. I hate riding in an open-top cattle car."
As the train arrived, they were lucky because a larger group of travelers got off. They immediately took over one of the six-person compartments and closed the curtains. A short time later, the train began moving.
Shortly after the conductor had checked their tickets, Manuel asked: "So, are you nervous yet?"
"Actually, yes. After all, it's my first time."
"Hmm, then I'd better distract you a little."
With that, she set off on a journey of discovery under Nathan's T-shirt. A little later, his reservations were also history, as passion swept them away. They kissed and caressed each other, and had already opened their pants.
Suddenly they heard the door to the compartment next door.
"Onboard service. Coffee, tea, cold drinks. Small snacks. Would you like something?"
They quickly got dressed again, but the onboard service passed by the compartment with the closed curtains.
Finally they arrived and made their way to the youth group.
"You really don't need to be nervous," Manuel said, but he knew that only the reassuring experience that there were no aliens in the youth group would calm Nathan down.
As they stood in front of the entrance to the old house, he gave him a quick kiss and then they went inside.
The rooms were lovingly furnished, although no particular style could be identified. Nathan immediately noticed the large magazine rack.
"Is that all...?" he whispered.
"Yes," said Manuel, "you can take some with you. Most of them are free."
"Hey, Manuel, you old heartbreaker!" came from the door.
When Nathan turned around with wide eyes, he saw a medium-sized, slim guy, around 20 years old. Nathan immediately noticed that he was wearing heavy makeup and had green-painted fingernails.
"Well, what do we have here?" the stranger said to Nathan. "Don't worry, I don't bite. Unless I get into ecstasy during sex."
"Enough, Richie. First of all, Nathan's my friend, and besides, I don't want him to get a bad impression of the youth group the first time."
"Pah, you're just afraid he might find me more attractive than you."
With these words, Richie turned his back on them, not without sending an exaggerated “Bye, sweetheart” in Nathan’s direction.
"Wh...what was that?" Nathan asked, visibly shocked.
"That was Richie. I admit, he takes a little getting used to, but if you take him into your heart, you can have anything from him."
"Was he serious about biting during sex?"
"Oh, I've never been with him, but most of what he does is just a kind of stereotype. He's a pure sissy."
"And I'm proud of it, little mouse," came a voice from the door. "But don't you want to come in? We'd love to get started."
There were already a few other boys sitting in the group room who, much to Nathan's relief, were less conspicuous.
*** And while everyone is looking for a seat in the room, which actually exudes the comfort of an oversized living room, I'd like to briefly introduce the group. Richie has already made a lasting impression. He's just 23, by the way, and also the oldest in the group. Then there are Michael and Simon, who co-lead the group, each 20 years old, Tim at 22, and Jan at 19. ***
"What are we doing today? Reverse the polarity of straight people?"
"No, Richie, we'll leave that to you. Today's agenda is just gossip."
“Who wants coffee?” asked Tim.
"One, two, three, four... oh well, I'll fill a pot right away."
“Where did you meet?” Simon wanted to know from Nathan and Manuel.
"Oh, you know, he almost fell at my feet, so to speak."
"How, what?"
"Well, I had just realized I was gay and it was all a bit too much for me, so I passed out."
"And I put him back on his feet."
“Ah, how romantic,” said Michael, who had also joined us in the meantime.
"I already knew my sweetheart," he began, gently stroking Simon's hand, "from the youth group. But it wasn't really anything special until one day I almost ran him over with my bike in front of the post office. At first he cursed and ranted—you're so sweet when you're angry—and then, as we sat together collecting letters, we were hooked."
"Since then, we have also been organizing the youth group together," added Simon.
After coffee and plenty of gossip, the suggestion of a walk around town was suggested. The suggestion was accepted with general enthusiasm, and soon the group was strolling down the main street. Simon and Michael walked hand in hand, and after a while, Nathan also took Manuel's hand. He still felt a little self-conscious about walking hand in hand like that in public, but he simply wanted to let the world know that he loved Manuel.
"Tell me," he whispered in Manuel's ear, "who's the one with the grudge against you?"
"He's not here today."
"Day."
“Can I join in the gossiping?” Richie asked from behind.
"Oh, nothing important."
"You're not blaspheming me, are you?"
"Oh, we would never dare to do that."
"Oh my God, do you see those hotties over there? How can anyone look so good?"
"Do you mean the one over there? Well, not so great. I'd rather stay with my sweetheart here."
"Well, I hope so too," Nathan replied.
"And besides, he suffers from a lack of taste. Just look at that chick over there. Cheap and over-made-up. He could get that from me, too."
"Oh, leave her alone, Richie. Without straight men, there wouldn't be any handsome men left for us."
"Okay, when you're right, you're right."
*** Yeah, as Boy George said: "Always be nice to straight people, it takes two of them to make one of us." ***
Finally, after strolling around, they decided to visit one of the gay bars. Nathan was a little hesitant at first, but Manuel assured him that no one would eat him there either.
"At least not while I'm here," he added with a grin. Nathan wasn't entirely comfortable as they descended the steps to the basement bar, from which one of the current records was already blaring at them.
There wasn't much going on in the bar yet. A few guys were bored at the bar, a few others were spread out on the sofas grouped around a few tables.
*** But let's not forget the lone (and strange) guy on the small dance floor, who probably hasn't danced in so long that all his bones are rusty. Well, maybe it was fashionable to dance like that back in the era the elevator dates back to. ***
After the group had spread out on one of the sofa groups and a waiter had taken their orders, Tim said he actually felt like dancing. The others wanted to wait for their drinks and just watch for a while.
"Tell me, do all waiters in gay bars look as bad as this one?" Nathan asked.
"No, there are some really cute guys there too. But you're right, this one looks terrible. I wonder how many polyester snakes had to die for this outfit?" Manuel said.
"Certainly not as many as spray cans for the 'Grandma's wet mop' hairstyle," added Richie.
When the waiter came back, Nathan had serious trouble keeping a straight face.
“Come on, let’s go dancing,” suggested Manuel.
"Well, I don't really know. I've never danced like that in public before," Nathan replied.
»Well then it's about time!«
He said this and pulled Nathan with him onto the dance floor.
*** It was actually mean to throw him in at the deep end like that, but after a few hesitant movements, he found the rhythm and eventually danced as if he'd never done anything else before. ***
“Hey, you’re really dancing brilliantly,” said Manuel.
"You're not bad either. Come on, let's give the boys something to watch."
Before Manuel could resist, Nathan pulled him towards him and they danced with their hips pressed together before Nathan snuggled up close to him.
"Now don't overheat, or our audience will burst. And mine too, by the way."
"Okay," Nathan giggled, playfully pushing Manuel away.
*** The rest of the evening unfolded in a similar way, so we'd like to fast-forward a bit. Meanwhile, the semester break has begun, and Robert is waiting for Steffi at the train station. Before you get surprised, we're going to accompany Robert for a while. ***

Part
5
–
The
Day
Before
You
Came
Of course, Mother Nature had to decide to create an icy snowstorm just when he was waiting on the platform for his girlfriend to arrive.
Finally, the train's announcement came. By now, he was thoroughly frozen. The train squeaked to a stop, and several doors opened, releasing a few passengers into the cold reality.
No matter how hard Robert tried, he couldn't spot Steffi among the flakes. He already felt disappointment rising within him when a door opened at the end of the train and a girl with long blonde hair stepped out. Robert immediately rushed to her, and they fell into each other's arms.
"Nice that you're here."
"I'm glad I was allowed to come, too. But now let's get out of here, or the devil will get us."
 
On the way to Robert's house, they had a lively conversation. He was a little nervous, but he was head over heels in love. He had completely forgotten how great Steffi had looked.
After they finally arrived and the obligatory parental greetings were over, Steffi decided to take a bath while Robert helped his mother prepare a little something for dinner.
When the food – cold food – was prepared, Robert wanted to turn down the heating in his room because he knew that Steffi didn't like sleeping in overheated rooms.
Deep in thought, he opened the door and found himself facing Steffi, who was just fastening her bra. She looked at him in shock at first, but then smiled seductively as Robert blushed.
*** Isn't that sweet? First, he just bursts in, then marvels at the proverbial building blocks, and then practices for the 'Who will be the prettiest tomato red?' contest. ***
"Oops, sorry. I, uh, I just wanted to turn down the heating because you prefer to sleep cool. I'm already out. Just come into the kitchen when you're done."
"Oh, that's why I'm so hot. Come here and help me with the clasp. I just can't get it closed."
Robert helped her as instructed, but somehow he didn't feel particularly comfortable in his own skin. Steffi smelled pleasantly of bubble bath, almost too good, he thought.
"So, it's closed," he said with a hint of relief in his voice.
"Then I'll quickly throw something on and then head out to dinner. I'm really hungry."
*** Since dinner has been pretty uneventful so far, let's move on a bit. By now, everyone has gotten ready for the night. Robert is lying on the floor in his sleeping bag, and Steffi is in his bed. ***
"Are you still awake?"
»Hm?«
"Tell me, isn't it terribly uncomfortable down there?"
"So-so, why?"
"I just thought there was room for both of us up here."
"You mean?"
»And...«
Slowly and carefully, Robert climbed onto the bed next to Steffi, but stayed on the blanket.
"Come here," Steffi said in a cooing tone, taking his hand. Before he knew it, she guided his hand under the old T-shirt she was wearing for the night and placed it on her chest. Robert had barely recovered from his "shock" when he felt Steffi fingering his boxer shorts and slowly sliding her hand inside.
While she caressed his cock, she pulled him closer and began kissing him passionately. After a short time, Robert began to respond to the play of her tongue, and his tension began to ease.
After they had kissed passionately for a while, Steffi nibbled on his ear with pleasure.
"I want you," she breathed.
“Right now?” asked Robert, fighting his uncertainty.
"Yes, right now."
*** Well, the woman seems to know exactly what she wants. ***
No sooner had she said it than she unwrapped a condom and slipped it on Robert. Then she slowly lowered her loins onto Robert, who was stretched out in bed, and began to move slowly and rhythmically.
She had barely increased her movements when, at the last moment, Robert grabbed a cushion and held it over her face so that not everyone in the house could hear his orgasm.
*** Hmm, the typical Saturday night 6:30 marital bed scene. Two turns, one moan, and that's it. And they're not even married. ***
"Um, sorry, I was probably under a lot of pressure," Robert apologized, but Steffi pushed his hand away.
"Leave it, I'm not in the mood anymore. I think I'll go to sleep now. Good night."
"Good night." She signaled to Robert only too clearly that he should sleep on the floor and not with her.
The next morning, Robert was awake a while before Steffi. He watched her chest rise and fall evenly. Her blonde hair framed her face. Robert thought she looked like an angel.
Remembering the previous evening, he began to think about how he could make up for his mistake—which Steffi had clearly made clear to him. Finally, he decided to sneak out of the room and make breakfast. His parents had gone away for a few days, leaving them all alone.
As the steaming coffee dripped into the pot and everything was ready, Steffi came in.
"Oh, you've already made breakfast," she said in a sleepy voice.
Robert thought she looked even better than usual with her hair disheveled from the night.
"Yes, I hope everything you like is here."
"I think so. Can I have a coffee right now, please? I need it first thing in the morning. Otherwise, nothing will work."
"You look good."
"What?" Steffi looked at him with a mixture of astonishment and amusement.
"I mean with your messy hair and all," Robert stammered.
As they sat opposite each other at the breakfast table, Robert felt a foot, first feeling its way along his thigh and finally, quite openly, rubbing his best part.
*** Well, the woman really seems to need it urgently. ***
After almost choking on his coffee, he began exploring with his foot.
Five minutes later, the matter was settled again. Steffi sat wrapped in a blanket on Robert's desk, blowing clouds of smoke out the window, while Robert pondered why it had gone wrong this time.
*** The well-known problem: one too many grips and the whole thing is over. ***
In the afternoon they met with Nathan and Manuel.
"Steffi, this is Nathan, my best friend, and this is Manuel, his friend. Nathan, Manuel, this is Steffi."
"Hello Steffi, nice to meet you," said Manuel and shook her hand.
"Hello Steffi," Nathan imitated. Steffi looked questioningly first at Nathan, then at Manuel, and then at Nathan again.
"You are..." she paused a little, as if she had to consider which term seemed appropriate, "...assholes."
"We'd prefer gay," Manuel replied. "So, what's the problem with that?"
"No, no," said Steffi, who had regained her composure. "You just don't look like you need anything like that. You could have any woman you wanted."
As she spoke these last words, she looked deep into his eyes and changed her tone so sharply that alarm bells rang for Nathan and Robert. Both sensed a danger that their own fortunes might be in danger.
"But I don't want anything from a woman and I'm perfectly happy with my boyfriend."
"Have you ever tried it?"
"I haven't, and to be honest, I don't feel particularly inclined to."
Steffi didn't flinch. "Are we going for a stroll or do we want to put down roots here?" she said, pulling Robert toward the main street. Nathan and Manuel followed them.
"Well, I don't think this Steffi is a good match for Robert," Nathan said to Manuel.
"Oh, you know where love falls."
Later in the afternoon, the inevitable visit to a well-known clothing giant followed. Robert and Nathan couldn't find anything they liked enough to buy immediately. Manuel disappeared into a fitting room wearing a tight T-shirt.
"So—does it suit me? What do you think?" he said, pulling open the curtain. The T-shirt really emphasized his assets.
"Yes, it looks fabulous on you. You're bound to fall in love with it," Nathan enthused.
"Wait a minute," said Steffi, smoothing his T-shirt down the back, not without stroking his bottom, "That's better."
Robert's mood was approaching rock bottom, but he didn't want to let it show and secretly hoped that Steffi was just testing whether he would get jealous.
After the boys had thoroughly browsed and tried on the clothes, they moved on to the women's department. Steffi enjoyed the attention she received.
"Aren't they a little short then?" said Robert as she tried on a pair of rather tight hot pants.
“Well, I think they’re good,” Manuel said.
"At least someone's on my side," Steffi cooed, leaning forward so the boys could see for themselves that there really wasn't a bit of excess material.
After the hot pants were paid for, Manuel suggested that they could just go to his place and watch the video, since his parents were staying with some relatives today.
*** Since the weather has deteriorated again, everyone is enthusiastic about the idea and a little later everyone is sitting in front of the TV. ***
The video night passed without any major incidents. Nathan snuggled up to Manuel, and Steffi also let Robert move closer, although it seemed more like a pitying gesture than genuine affection.
As the evening drew to a close and the signs pointed to departure, Nathan also got ready. He had actually planned to sleep at Manuel's, but his parents suggested he sleep at home every now and then so he wouldn't get on the Wallners' nerves. And since he hadn't yet explained to them why that wouldn't happen anytime soon, he had no choice but to step out into the cold reality.
Shortly afterwards, he was already on his way to the bus stop with Steffi and Robert. Arriving at the bus stop, Steffi realized she had left her wallet with Manuel.
"I'll just go and get them," she said quickly, turning around. "Just wait here, I'll be right back."
As she turned the corner, Robert said, "So, what do you think of her?"
»Ehrlich?«
»Ehrlich.«
"She's not the right one for you. The way she blatantly flirts with other guys in your presence. You deserve better."
After waiting for Steffi for a while, Nathan said he'd go and see where she was. Robert said she'd be right there and wanted to wait, but Nathan started trudging through the now ankle-deep snow.
*** Ah, this is getting really exciting. Where is Steffi and why is she taking so long? I wonder what happened? ***
Arriving in front of Manuel's house, Nathan realized that he must have missed Steffi because there were no lights on. Manuel must have already gone to sleep. It would be all the more surprising if he unlocked the door with the spare key—the famous key under the flowerpot trick—and sneaked in.
He quietly unlocked the door and slipped into the house. The door to Manuel's room was open a crack, and he saw the soothing glow of the lava lamp.
But something was bothering him. After a moment, he realized what was bothering him. It was a moan, or rather, a moan from two throats. Too loud and too full of pleasure to be pain.
He carefully crept to the door behind which he suspected the groaning was coming and what he saw took his breath away.

Part
6
-
It
Will
Take
A
Long
Long
Time
Manuel lay stretched out on the floor, his pants pulled down to his ankles. Steffi sat naked on top of him, and while she moved her hips rhythmically, alternately tossing her blonde hair back or kissing Manuel, Manuel kneaded her breasts.
Nathan felt a surge of nausea rising within him, and for a brief moment he considered ending the scene. But he decided against it and crept out of the house as quietly as he had come.
When he reached the door, he paused for a moment. A stiff breeze had picked up, blowing the snowflakes almost horizontally past him. Then he ran to the bus stop. The wind brought tears to his eyes and almost obscured his vision, but he didn't care anymore.
*** Poor thing. It was obvious that Robert wouldn't be happy with Steffi. But now Manuel is cheating on Nathan... ***
Robert was still waiting at the bus stop when he saw Nathan turn the corner. Completely breathless and with tears streaming down his face, he stopped in front of Robert.
“What’s going on?” Robert asked worriedly.
"I saw her," Nathan gasped, his voice choked with tears, "Steffi has..."
Then all the dams broke and Nathan could only cry.
Robert couldn't make sense of the scraps of words, but he first took Nathan in his arms and tried to comfort him.
"Hey, what's going on? Nothing's so bad that we both can't make it."
Nathan recovered a little, but when he tried to tell Robert what he had seen, his composure was lost again.
After they had stood like that for about a quarter of an hour, Nathan regained his composure.
"I saw," he said through sobs, "how Steffi was doing it with Manuel."
Robert turned pale. He had noticed that Steffi had been very interested in Manuel, but he had assumed that Manuel wasn't interested in her.
"You see, that fucking bitch took my boyfriend away from me!"
"Come on, let's go to my place first. We'll just catch a cold here."
"You, you don't want to wait for her?"
"Why? She'll find her way to me. Or else she'll know where to stay. And besides, I don't care. She took my best friend's boyfriend away. I'm done with her."
*** That's what I call true friendship. But he hasn't lost much to her anyway. ***
When they arrived at Robert's, he immediately sent Nathan to take a hot shower.
"You know where everything is."
"Ah, you're here already," came the reply from the kitchen. "But dinner isn't ready yet."
"Oh, okay, Mum, but we don't feel like eating anyway."
After this answer, Mrs. Falkner looked after her son.
"Say, you're so pale, has something happened?"
"You could say that. But I can't explain it to you so easily right now. Nathan's in the shower right now, and it's all pretty confusing. Please just make us some hot chocolate. I'll explain it to you later."
From her son's look, Mrs. Falkner saw that it was better to accept everything as it was for the time being.
After his mother disappeared into the kitchen, Robert called the Zieglers.
"Hello Robert, what's up?" Mrs. Ziegler greeted him.
"I just wanted to tell you that Nathan's sleeping over at my place tonight. We had a wild snowball fight, and now his clothes are completely wet. And since he's sure he'll catch a cold, he's hanging his clothes to dry and taking a hot shower."
"Well, I'm not thrilled, but before he gets sick. But tell him to come home first thing tomorrow morning."
"Yes, I will. Good night then, Mrs. Ziegler."
When he hung up the phone, Robert was relieved that Mrs. Ziegler had believed his white lie about the snowball fight.
But since Nathan hadn't come out at home yet, he wanted to spare him that today. At least tonight, Nathan should have someone to talk to. And it would do him good, too.
When Nathan came out of the bathroom, he took him to his room with a mug of hot chocolate and quickly disappeared into the shower, because he was slowly starting to notice that he was also quite cold.
When he came back into the room, Nathan was sitting at the window, wrapped in Robert's duvet, staring out into the night.
"Hello."
Only now did he notice Robert and turn slightly towards him.
"It could have been so beautiful. You with Steffi and me with Manuel. But I always wonder why. Why did he sleep with her? Wasn't I enough for him?"
Nathan was close to tears again.
"I'm afraid I can't tell you. Will you give him a second chance?"
"I don't know," Nathan sobbed, "I still love him. But I can't compete with a woman. I can't offer him what she can give him."
"Maybe he just wanted to experience what it was like with a woman."
"And if he liked it? I don't want to constantly worry that he'll leave me for a woman. Or even screw the first person he meets."
The last words had turned into sobs, and when Robert took him in his arms, Nathan almost cried his eyes out again.
"Hey, we can both do this. You'll see. Everything will be okay."
After they had stood like that for a while, Robert left to make the bed.
*** Because ultimately, it's a bit cramped for two people in the sleeping bag, and letting Nathan sleep in Steffi's bedding probably wouldn't have been a good idea either. ***
A little later, Nathan was lying in Robert's bed and Robert was lying on the floor in his sleeping bag.
"Well, good night then."
"Good night. And thank you for doing this for me."
"Hey, I can't let my best friend down."
Nathan listened to Robert's breathing, which evenly cut through the silence.
"Are you still awake?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Hmm, I know it might sound stupid and you don't have to do it if you don't want to."
"What?"
"Will you lie down next to me?"
"Hmm, okay, but only if you promise to stay good."
"OK thanks."
Robert peeled himself out of his sleeping bag and lay down in bed with Nathan.
"Move a little so I can get the other cheek in too!"
*** Robert is truly a true friend. That would have been the end of it for many people. ***
When Nathan woke up the next morning, his left arm felt completely numb. Assuming he'd slept with Manuel, he wrapped his arms around the other person in bed and snuggled up close.
But slowly, the events of the previous night returned to him, and the scent of the man lying next to him didn't belong to Manuel. Robert was lying next to him. Carefully, so as not to wake him, he pulled his arm back, simultaneously feeling a blush rising in his face as he realized he had just pressed a proud morning erection against Robert. He carefully slipped out from under Robert and out of bed. He quietly slipped into his jeans, not wanting to expose his underwear to Mrs. Falkner.
In the hallway he promptly ran into her arms.
"Good morning Nathan. Did you sleep well?"
"Thank you, excellent."
"Is Robert up yet?"
"No, he's still fast asleep."
"Too bad, but oh well. I have to go. See you later."
"Yes. Goodbye."
Mrs. Falkner buttoned her coat, grabbed her purse and keys, and immediately left. Nathan went to the bathroom to finally get rid of his problem and was very relieved that Mrs. Falkner either hadn't noticed or had been tactful enough not to.
When he came back into the room, Robert greeted him with a broad grin.
"Tell me, do you always cuddle up to everything lying around in bed?"
"No, only guys like you. I thought you were still asleep."
"I did, too. But when someone pokes me so persistently in the groin area," he replied with a broad grin on his face.
"Oops, sorry, that wasn't what you thought. I didn't mean to come on to you. Really. But I must have confused you with Manuel while I was half asleep," Nathan said, bright red.
"It's okay. You were very careful. And we all have that morning problem, right?"
"Yes, but I would have believed you even without proof," Nathan grinned, pointing to the curve of the duvet.
Now Robert turned red, but Nathan calmed him down.
"Just go to the bathroom. Don't worry, I won't copy you. I've seen more hard cocks than you."
"Well then, I hope I get a good place in the rankings and go to the bathroom," Robert grinned, peeling himself out of bed.
*** Okay, enough of the morning nonsense. Let's head straight to breakfast, where the two discuss last night and their future plans. ***
By breakfast, Nathan's good mood had vanished again.
"I can understand that you're angry, but you should do something," said Robert.
"I'll pay him a visit this afternoon. And then we'll see what Mr. 'I'll Fuck Anything That Doesn't Run Away' has to say."
"I think you should give him another chance. Everyone makes mistakes."
"I'd give him another chance, but who knows if he wouldn't cheat on me again. Because I'm stupid enough to forgive him anyway," Nathan sobbed. "I just don't want him to hurt me like that again."
"I can understand that, but I can't give you certainty. If anything, only Manuel can. By the way, your mother said yesterday you should come home right after breakfast. And officially, you were completely wet after a snowball fight yesterday."
"Thank you. What would I do without you?"
“Helplessly wandering the world trying to find me!” Robert laughed.
*** Finally, the toast was eaten and the tea drunk. Nathan is almost home and is considering how best to confront Manuel and whether he should give him another chance. Once home, he decides to make a decision based on the situation and trust his gut feeling. And then the front door opens... ***

Part
7
-
Twist
The
Knife
"Hello, I'm home again." Nathan tried to sound cheerful.
“Oh, our son is making an appearance again,” he heard his father say from the living room.
"I'm sorry, but it would have been too late yesterday," Nathan apologized half-heartedly and wanted to go to his room.
"Oh, it would have been too late," his father mimicked him. "You couldn't think of a better excuse. When will you finally learn to take responsibility? You should be home in the evening, but you'd rather be out wandering around!"
"No way, I was with Robert!"
"You had no chance to call them either. Better to put Robert first so we can't say anything. You must think you're particularly clever."
Nathan's mother had also come into the living room, where Nathan stood at the door like a miserable heap. A growing rage against his parents was fighting within him against the knowledge of the consequences of such an outburst.
*** Poor thing! Yesterday her boyfriend cheated on her, and now his parents are getting on her nerves. ***
"What's been going on with you lately?" his mother chimed in. "Before, you hardly ever stayed anywhere overnight, and now you just wander around doing who knows what!"
"Oh, what do you know!" Nathan cried, "You don't understand anything anyway!"
"Oh, WE don't understand anything?" Nathan's father jumped up, his face bright red. "Perhaps the Lord would then graciously have the time to share his vast knowledge with us!"
"As if you care."
The next moment Nathan had already received a slap in the face.
"Get back to your room and don't leave until tomorrow! I'm sick of you!"
But Nathan turned around, grabbed his jacket and ran out of the house.
After walking a bit, he stopped, breathless, and leaned against a lamppost. He wondered whether he should go back to Robert and hide there, or run home remorsefully, or go to Manuel and tell him what he thought.
After remorsefully rejecting the idea and thinking a little about the others, he decided to confront them.
He wanted a decision, and he wanted it right away. So he went straight to Manuel.
*** Well, with how charged the little guy is right now, things are about to get heated. But we'll see. ***
Arriving at Manuel's house, Nathan had to restrain himself from ringing the bell. Mrs. Wallner opened the door for him.
"Oh hello Nathan, nice to see you. Come in."
"Hello Franziska, is Manuel here?"
"Yes, he's in his room at the back. You can find your way there."
Nathan quickly took off his jacket and shoes and went to Manuel's room.
After a brief knock, he went in without waiting for an answer. Manuel was alone, sitting at his desk.
"Hello my love, nice to see you."
"Just wait and see if you still like it," Nathan snapped. "Don't you have something to tell me?"
"No, what?" Manuel pretended ignorantly, but his fading color and restless gaze betrayed him.
"Like, that you fucked Steffi yesterday?"
"Shit, how do you know?"
"Yeah, shit! I agree with you. How could you do that to me? I wondered where she was so long ago, so I came back. After everything was dark at your place, I thought I'd surprise you and unlocked the door myself. And then I saw you."
"It, it was a slip-up."
"Oh, you must have slipped badly if you lost your laundry."
"Steffi came back for her wallet, and I went to the bathroom for a moment, and when I came back into the room, she was standing there naked and started kissing me..."
"And you, poor defenseless man, couldn't stop them and, of course, only allowed yourself to be raped after fierce resistance."
"Well, I was just kind of curious about what it was like with a woman, and she came in handy."
"And then you thought, I have a boyfriend, but what the heck, he's already gone anyway, I might as well fuck that bitch. He's stupid enough, he won't notice."
"No, I didn't mean to hurt you, I..."
"But you succeeded! So, what's next? Do you want to cheat on me regularly? Or are you going to switch to women altogether?"
"No! I love you. I'm so sorry. You have to believe me. It was good, but not as good as with you."
"Oh, it was good. That's good for you. But I don't intend to spend every time I leave you alone wondering who you're sleeping with behind my back. Find yourself another idiot!"
Nathan prepared to leave.
"Please! Don't go!" Manuel was close to tears. "I don't want to lose you."
"You've already lost me. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle the fact that you slept with her. I don't know if I could handle a man, but I could at least try to outdo him. But I just can't compete with a woman. I'm sorry."
*** He said that and walked away. It's a shame it has to end like this, when it began so beautifully. ***
Nathan wandered aimlessly through the streets. Had the whole world conspired against him? His boyfriend was cheating on him, and now, of all times, his parents were asking stupid questions.
The cold air slowly cleared his senses, and the thickening snowstorm made it clear to him that he had to go somewhere. But where? Manuel was history, and he didn't want to see his parents right now. So he set off again to find Robert.
"Good day, Mrs. Falkner!"
"Hello Nathan. You probably want to see Robert. Just go in," said Mrs. Falkner without a sign of surprise.
"Why can't I have parents as easy as that?" Nathan wondered, going to Robert's room. He knocked, hoping fervently that Steffi wasn't there.
"Come in. Oh, it's you. What brings you back?"
Steffi wasn't there, but there was no trace in the room that suggested she had ever been there.
"Um, where is Steffi?"
"I put her on the next train home. After she more than clearly showed her true colors..."
"Ah, so why am I back again? Well, when I got home, my dad immediately started a fuss because I hadn't come home yesterday. So I yelled at them that they wouldn't understand anything anyway and ran away. I just didn't want to tell them what had happened. It was just too early. And then I went to Manuel."
"And?"
"He acted innocent, like nothing had happened. And when I told him I'd seen him, he said he didn't want to lose me. But I broke up with him. I don't want to constantly worry about whether he's faithful to me. And I don't want to share him."
Nathan's words ended in sobs.
"Hey, it'll be okay," Robert whispered as he hugged him.
"Your parents will understand why you didn't want to talk. And you'll find someone who loves you and is faithful to you. Absolutely!"
Nathan's sobs slowly subsided. Robert gently stroked his back.
"I'm absolutely certain you'll find someone. Absolutely certain," he whispered.
"Hey, thanks."
Nathan hugged Robert again and then sat down at the desk.
"I'll see if you can stay with us for dinner today," said Robert and disappeared from the room.
*** Well, he's really in for a treat with his boyfriend. But will his parents be thrilled if he doesn't get in touch soon? ***
"Okay, no problem. You can eat with us."
"Thanks."
"And what do you want to tell your parents now?"
"I don't know. Do you think I should tell them?"
"I don't know! But always lying? What do you think they think about the issue?"
"I don't know. Actually, it's never been talked about."
"Oh, it'll be fine. I'm sure of it."
“Dinner is ready,” Mrs. Falkner called from the kitchen.
A little later, three Falkners and Nathan were sitting around the kitchen table eating.
"Tell me, Nathan, it's none of my business, but is something wrong? You seem kind of pale."
"Well, well. It's nothing. Really."
"Sorry if I was too pushy."
"No, no. It doesn't matter."
The rest of the meal was rather silent, and after thanking Mrs. Falkner once again for the meal, Nathan headed home.
"Take care and call me to let me know how it went," Robert said goodbye, patting Nathan on the shoulder.
"Okay, I'll do it. And thanks again for the first aid."
"It's clear."
*** So, enough of the sweet words and goodbyes. You still have things to do, boy! It won't be easy, but you'll see, it'll be worth it. ***
The whole way home, Nathan pondered how best to say it, but somehow he couldn't come up with a satisfactory solution. Besides, he was pretty sure his parents were already mad at him for running away.
Why was everything so complicated? He wished things were like they used to be, back when he didn't yet know he would need the love of a boy. That he would be different than his parents expected. No grandchildren. The dream of a sweet daughter-in-law was over.
There he stood in front of the front door. 'Now or never,' he thought to himself, and went inside.

Part
8
-
Chances
"Hello!" Nathan tried to sound confident.
"Good day, sir," came a voice from the living room, "What reason do you have this time?"
"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have just run away before, but it's all become too much for me," Nathan said as he walked into the living room.
His mother was ironing and watching TV with Nathan's father. Mr. Ziegler turned off the television.
“What was too much for you?” Nathan’s mother wanted to know.
"Well, yesterday my first relationship broke up, and I stayed overnight at Robert's because I was totally out of it. And then today the accusations and the slap in the face..."
"Hmm, we couldn't have known that. But why didn't you introduce us to your girlfriend? What's her name?"
»Manuel.«
"How?" Mrs. Ziegler left the iron on the white shirt.
»Manuel.«
"Karoline, the boy is..."
"Yes, I heard that too."
“But we have to do something about it,” said Mr. Ziegler with a strange excitement in his voice.
"Yes, we must. And we must be just as good parents to him as we have been so far. He's our son. That's all that matters," Nathan's mother replied in a tone that brooked no argument.
Then she turned back to Nathan: "You have to understand, it's a bit of a surprise for us and we'll need some time to get used to it, but you are our son and always will be. We stand by you."
“Thank you,” said Nathan, returning his mother’s brief hug.
"But I don't want these extra nightly trips to become a habit," Nathan's father interjected from the side.
*** Strange family, somehow. Normally, the mother would have wanted to know everything about the broken relationship and comforted her offspring. But here, no sign of that. That was the end of the matter. Truly strange. ***
Nathan quickly called Robert and told him the outcome of the conversation, then went to his room. A short time later, he was lying on his bed and, even though it was not long after noon, he fell asleep.
"Nathan, we're going to see some friends," Mrs. Ziegler called up. Nathan stretched.
"Yes," he called out sleepily. What time was it, anyway? The fact that it was already dark outside again didn't help much. The clock radio showed 7 p.m. Nathan wondered what he could do. On the one hand, he was still tired—or already tired again—and didn't really feel like doing anything, but he didn't feel like sleeping either.
He decided to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth first because the disgusting taste of his sleep was bothering him.
While brushing his teeth, the friction against the sink caused another part of his body to speak up. Nathan gently began to move his foreskin back and forth, but after just a few strokes, he lost interest and stopped. It couldn't be as enjoyable as it had been with Manuel anyway, so why the effort?
He went back to his room and undressed completely. Then he looked at himself in the mirror. "Actually, not so bad," he decided. Okay, there could have been a little more muscle here and a little less pale there, but otherwise he was quite satisfied.
But something must have been too little for Manuel. He couldn't get his head around it. With a woman. And with that bitch Steffi, too. 'But maybe this is what he needs,' he thought. He quickly scurried downstairs to his parents' bathroom, but no, he had to go back. Who knows when they'll be back, and he didn't want to face them naked.
In his parents' bathroom, he began rummaging through his mother's cosmetics cabinet. He carefully placed the items he thought might be useful on the shelf under the mirror: mascara, lipstick, eye shadow, blush, and powder.
*** Oh sweet, does he want to put on makeup now? ***
"Hmm, mascara comes last, and lipstick too. But what about the rest?" Nathan was annoyed that he'd never paid more attention to his mother's makeup exercises. He decided to start with the eyeshadow.
After a few initial difficulties, he was even able to use the small brush fairly well, and in no time, his eyes were framed extensively with blue eyeshadow. Applying eyeliner with kohl proved to be an insurmountable hurdle. The result was neither nearly as thin nor as straight as a line.
But Nathan wasn't impressed and applied a generous amount of mascara, fluttering his unusually full eyelashes experimentally. Half of the mascara promptly spread to the surrounding skin. After applying a generous amount of blush and lipstick, he put the things back in the closet and went back upstairs. "So this is what you want," he hissed into the mirror. "I'm Steffi and I'll have sex with anyone who gets in my way. Shall we?" Tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving black stains.
Nathan had to smile at his reflection. If he really wanted to do serious makeup, he probably needed to practice a bit more.
*** The remaining few days of vacation were largely uneventful. Nathan spent a lot of time with Robert, the Ziegler family remained silent about "the" topic, and the weather remained cold and forbidding. So now, let's move on to the first day of school after the holidays. It's 7:00 a.m., and Nathan is just entering the school building. ***
"Good morning Nathan, how are you?"
"Um, good, and you?"
"Oh, thanks, did you have a nice holiday?"
"Yeah, yeah, the usual," Nathan squirmed.
Why was Sandra suddenly so interested in him? Did she know something?
"Well then, I have to go. See you later in chemistry. See you then."
"Yeah, see you then," Nathan murmured, watching her disappear toward the classroom.
"Well, what did she want from you?" Nathan was startled and turned around. It was Robert.
"I don't know. Either fool me or charm me. Either way, bad for me. Why do people always show interest in you when you least need it?"
"Well. And what are you going to do now, you heartbreaker?" said Robert, which earned him a well-intentioned nudge and an annoyed look from Nathan.
In chemistry class, Nathan's fears were confirmed. As the teacher was enthusiastically filling the blackboard with formulas and mnemonics, Nathan was hit by a paper ball, which turned out to be a letter.
Hi Nathan! Want to meet up with me sometime? Sandy
"Shit, what do I do now?" Nathan whispered.
“I have no idea,” said Robert.
"Just tell her the truth and hope she understands."
"Can't you think of anything better?"
"Not really." Nathan sighed. He turned around briefly and smiled—admittedly a little pained—at Sandra, who beamed at him happily.
*** Well, we'll see how he gets out of this. But at least he seems to be trying not to hurt her. Hopefully, she'll understand him. ***
After the two chemistry lessons, Sandra came to Nathan.
"And?"
"And what?"
»So, shall we meet sometime?«
"Hmm, well. Sure we can, but there's something else you should know," Nathan stammered.
“What?” Sandra asked, clueless.
"It's like this: I..."
"Ah, good to meet you!"
It's Manuel.
Nathan's face darkened. "What's up?"
"I need to talk to you."
"All of a sudden? Forget it."
"Yes, please."
"No. There's nothing more to discuss. Period, that's it. Now excuse me, I have to go to my class."
Nathan turned around and left. Sandra stood next to Manuel, her mouth half-open, not understanding anything anymore, while Manuel looked more like a beaten dog.
Meanwhile, Robert had also come out of the chemistry lab and observed the scene.
"Hello Manuel."
Manuel looked up in surprise. He hadn't even noticed Robert.
»And?«
"I don't know if I should tell you this, but I think it's better if you leave him alone for now. It hit him hard, and it'll probably take him some time to get over it."
"Well, thanks. I guess I only have myself to blame for that. But please tell him I'm really sorry."
"Okay, I'll do it. But I have to go now, too. So then."
"Could you perhaps explain to me what's going on here?" Sandra asked.
"What's going on?"
"Well, don't fool me. Nathan talks to a complete stranger and then rushes off, then you talk to the guy. You're hiding something here. I'm not stupid."
"Well, I don't think I'm authorized to give much information here," said Robert, leaving Sandra standing there.
*** Well, if that doesn't backfire, letting the good girl roll off like that. I'd be pretty pissed off. ***
"So I advise you to tell her what's going on as soon as possible, otherwise you'll soon have another problem on your hands. I brushed her off at first, but I don't think she'll let it go."
"Then I guess I have no other choice," Nathan sighed, hoping Sandra wouldn't react too negatively.
He had to postpone any further worries for later, because Mr. Kettenbauer had already come into the classroom and, as usual, had started his math lesson on time when the bell rang.
After fifty minutes of algebra, the lesson was over. Nathan had meanwhile thought about how best to brief Sandra.
"Do you know the little café around the corner from the cinema?"
"Yes why?"
"Let's meet there today at four. But please come alone."
"Okay, at four then."
*** Good, let's see how this goes. Nathan is, of course, pretty nervous, but luckily he'll avoid any embarrassing questions for the rest of the class. After the usual stuff—going home and getting food for all the curious minds—we'll head straight to the meeting at the café. ***
"One chamomile tea and one fruit tea for the young lady."
"Thanks. Honestly, I've never seen anyone drink chamomile tea voluntarily," Sandra wondered.
"Well, I once heard it's supposed to be calming and very healthy," Nathan said nervously. "And besides, they probably don't have any valerian tea here."
"Now you're exaggerating," Sandra giggled. "Am I making you nervous?"
*** Oh, now she's putting her hand on his. Let's see, does he collapse first and then tell her what's going on, or does he tell her first and then collapse? ***
"There's something you should know," Nathan said slowly, withdrawing his hand. "I'm not into women."
"You mean you're gay?"
"Yes. I hope you're not mad about it or anything. I think you're quite nice, but that's about it. Are you going to tell the others?"
"Hehe, calm down. I'm not mad at you or anything. Sure, I hate that I don't have a chance to interest this handsome guy, but whatever. But heaven forbid you steal my boyfriend."
Nathan had to laugh: "Don't worry, if he's interested in me, then he might not be the right guy for you."
"Point for you. Oh yeah, tomorrow you'll be on the bulletin board."
Nathan turned as white as a sheet.
"Hey, I was just kidding, calm down. It's your business who you tell what. But now enlighten me, who was that desperate guy from this morning? I think he's lost to women, too."
"Hmm, if I knew. We were a couple, but a few days ago he was messing around with a woman behind my back. And that's why we broke up."
"Stupid thing, huh?"
"Yes, you think you have all the happiness in the world and the next moment everything is in pieces."
"Well, let's not be so pessimistic. There will definitely be better times again. Who knows what it was good for. You know, if there's no harm, there's no gain, or something."
Nathan had to grin: "You sound like your own grandmother. Yes, my house in the good old days *cough cough*..."
"They want to build you up a little, and what's the thanks for that?" Sandra feigned insult.
"Okay, okay, I'll buy you tea for that. Otherwise, you'll give me a lecture about gentlemen in the good old days," Nathan grinned.
After Nathan paid, they set off. They walked together for a bit, then parted ways.
"Okay, take care. See you tomorrow."
"Okay, see you tomorrow. And Sandra..."
»And?«
Nathan kissed her on the cheek.
"Thanks."
"It's clear."
Arriving home, Nathan noticed that his parents weren't home. Instead, he found a note on his desk. "We went to see friends. Robert called." Nathan was sure he wanted to know how the meeting with Sandra had gone. He ran downstairs and dialed Robert's number.
»Falkner?«
"Hello Robert, it's me."
"Hi Nathan! So, how did it go?"
"Absolutely great. She was a little disappointed that I wasn't available for women, but she doesn't have a problem with it."
"Good to hear. I don't have anything planned right now, can I come over to your place?"
"Yeah, okay, why not. See you then."
"Yes, see you then."
After hanging up, Nathan decided to quickly jump in the shower. The warm water splashed over his body and revived his chilled spirits. Little Nathan also stirred, but was told to wait until later, as Robert wouldn't take that long. Nathan had barely gotten out of the bathroom and slipped into fresh shorts when the doorbell rang. Nathan quickly slipped into his dressing gown and ran downstairs.
"So here I am. Do you always answer the door so scantily clad?"
"No, but I wanted to seduce you."
Robert stutzte.
"Hey, just kidding. Go on upstairs, you know the way. Want something to drink?"
"A tea wouldn't be bad."
"Fruits OK?"
"Yes, that's fine."
A little later, they were sitting by the bed in Nathan's room, drinking hot fruit tea.
"Manuel talked to me today after you left."
Nathan's features hardened: "What else did he want?"
"He's really sorry, I think. I told him to give you some time for now; maybe you'll become friends once the whole thing has passed."
"Thanks. We'll see, but it's probably still too early for that."
»There's something else...«
"What else did he want?"
"Well, not him, I..."
Robert was obviously thinking quite hard about how best to say this.
The CD that was currently playing switched on and the first bars of 'The Miracle Of Love' sounded.
"Do you remember the last time we listened to that song together and I was sad because I was thinking about Steffi?"
"Yeah, back then you didn't know what kind of snake she was."
"Well, I'm in love again."
"Hey, you deserve it too. I hope you're lucky with your choice this time. Who's the lucky one?"
Instead of answering, Robert leaned forward and kissed Nathan on the mouth. Hesitantly and cautiously at first, but gradually becoming more demanding.
After a while they separated.
"But I thought you were straight."
"Well, when we saw the movie, I thought it would be nice to have you rub my back. But I didn't want to be gay. That's why I wanted to sleep with Steffi. I wanted to find out. But it didn't work out. But by then, you were already with Manuel. I was happy for you and at the same time, I felt so alone. I was so angry at him when your relationship broke up. It was terrible to see you suffer like that. I wanted to be there for you, and it was so nice when you cuddled up to me that morning. I was about to tell you I loved you, but I was afraid you'd think I was taking advantage of the situation."
"Well, what can I say? I'm a little surprised. After all, I assumed you were straight. And as my best friend, you were always off-limits anyway."
Robert's face became thoughtful.
"So you don't love me?" he asked worriedly.
"Of course I do, you nutcase! I just need a moment to realize all this. But I already have an idea that might help me."
He giggled when he saw Robert's questioning face, pulled him towards him and kissed him long and hard.
*** Hey, hey, wait a minute! You didn't think you could sneak away from here so easily! So, Robert has finally found Nathan, and I have to say, they really are a sweet couple. Let's wish them a happy ending and close the book right here. Take care and stay clean.
Your little Glörchen. ***