2025-07-11, 11:05 PM
Unfortunately, this story is based on a true event.
She tells of the experiences I had with my friend Tim, how I loved him and how he died from leukemia.
Right at the beginning I confess to you that I am gay, but people who know me know that gay does not mean mean naughty or unfaithful.
Tim and I lived a very monogamous life. A gay marriage, so to speak. But I'll talk more about marriage later...
So, as I said: Tim and I were together since October 2003. We met at a gay party in Cologne. I still remember exactly how I first saw him. He was a handsome boy, 16 years old, 190cm tall, slim, fit, and with a face as handsome as the one you see in fashion catalogs. He wanted to get something to drink but didn't dare approach the bartender, as he seemed rather unfriendly. I, having just turned 18, went over and ordered two Cokes (I was driving and wasn't allowed to drink alcohol). With a mischievous smile, I offered him a Coke and asked him, "I guess you haven't been to a party like this often?" - "No, never before, my boyfriend brought me." Shit... he already has a boyfriend. I was so angry, after all, that stupid Coke had cost me €3. Oh well, whatever. You should be able to talk nicely, even if the other person has a partner. So I started talking to him.
"How long have you been together?" I asked briskly. "It's just friends. I'm single." Those words felt so damn good. I was glad I had continued talking to him, and now the kid was becoming interesting again.
“Have you noticed how everyone here is staring at you?”
"No, why would everyone stare at me?" - "Because you're the most handsome guy at this party!" "Was that a compliment?" he asked, blushing. "No, that was the truth. You're so damn cute!" I replied.
"You're joking, there are so many handsome guys here that you're complimenting me, but thank you. That's really sweet of you. What's your name?"
"Olli! And what should I call you? There's no name prettier than that..."
“I’m Tim. Are you from Cologne?”
"Unfortunately not. I'm from the Koblenz area, and you?"
"I'm from near Dortmund. Robert invited me to spend the weekend with him, but I haven't seen him in three hours."
"You're not telling me you're going to wait here for your buddy to take you home without even knowing where he is. He's probably out having sex right now and has long since forgotten about you."
“Do you think he won’t come back?”
"No, I think he'll have a little fun, like most people here do."
“Have you had fun here yet?”
"No, I think that's too cheap. I'm here because I just broke up with my boyfriend and I need a little change."
"Oh, I haven't been gay for very long, and I'm actually bi. I don't really like it here."
"Shall we go somewhere else? In Cologne, you can find a quiet café to talk in, so we won't have to fight the loud music. Wait here, I'll just pay for our meal tickets, and then we'll go to a café. I know a nice one there."
[…]
After I paid for the meal tickets and we got into my car, we both decided to talk a bit. He told me that his parents were openly bisexual and had no problem with his sexuality. He was a high school student, just like me back then, and after graduating from high school, he wanted to train as a nurse so he could then study physical therapy. Tim had many goals, and while we talked, our eyes would always meet. I couldn't avoid those eyes.
At some point he asked me, “Why did you and your boyfriend break up?”
"Matthias was cheating on me for several months. He confessed everything to me via text message while I was on a school trip. He also financed part of his studies with pornography."
“Oh, so you must be very disappointed in him?”
“Yes, very much so”
“How long were you together?”
"Almost 4 years. I met him when I was 14."
“But that’s…”
"Early? Yes, but you can talk yourself into feelings and suppress them, or you can own up to them."
“Are you out?”
“No, I kept the relationship very secret, which was probably the reason why he cheated on me.”
“I would never cheat if I had someone like you as a boyfriend…”
This sentence not only surprised me, it felt so good. I was on cloud nine. A boy so sweet and handsome, someone who could have absolutely anyone he wanted, was telling me that he longed for someone like me.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you even if I had you as a boyfriend.”
"I believe you. You're a nice guy, Olli. I've been watching you all evening. But I was pretty shy and didn't have the courage to talk to you."
My mouth fell open. Sure, I was young back then and not ugly, but there were much more handsome guys at that party, and I could hardly believe what Tim was saying. His hand suddenly touched mine, and his head moved closer to mine. Our faces moved toward each other, and our lips pursed. A little timidly, Tim gave me the best kiss of my life, and I kept my eyes open to see his.
I had never kissed anyone so passionately before.
We stayed in the car, which was parked in a parking lot in Cologne, all night. Since it was very cold in October that year, we huddled together to keep warm. After a while, we fell asleep.
We exchanged cell phone numbers and addresses the next morning, met every free weekend, and had a long-distance relationship, 300km apart.
It was the best time of my life to see my boyfriend on my days off during my senior year.
We loved each other very much and felt a close bond. On the days we didn't see each other, we talked on the phone, and I was glad we had the low-cost area codes. Otherwise, our hours-long conversations would have racked up an exorbitant phone bill.
We rarely ran out of things to talk about and usually fell asleep while talking on the phone.
She tells of the experiences I had with my friend Tim, how I loved him and how he died from leukemia.
Right at the beginning I confess to you that I am gay, but people who know me know that gay does not mean mean naughty or unfaithful.
Tim and I lived a very monogamous life. A gay marriage, so to speak. But I'll talk more about marriage later...
So, as I said: Tim and I were together since October 2003. We met at a gay party in Cologne. I still remember exactly how I first saw him. He was a handsome boy, 16 years old, 190cm tall, slim, fit, and with a face as handsome as the one you see in fashion catalogs. He wanted to get something to drink but didn't dare approach the bartender, as he seemed rather unfriendly. I, having just turned 18, went over and ordered two Cokes (I was driving and wasn't allowed to drink alcohol). With a mischievous smile, I offered him a Coke and asked him, "I guess you haven't been to a party like this often?" - "No, never before, my boyfriend brought me." Shit... he already has a boyfriend. I was so angry, after all, that stupid Coke had cost me €3. Oh well, whatever. You should be able to talk nicely, even if the other person has a partner. So I started talking to him.
"How long have you been together?" I asked briskly. "It's just friends. I'm single." Those words felt so damn good. I was glad I had continued talking to him, and now the kid was becoming interesting again.
“Have you noticed how everyone here is staring at you?”
"No, why would everyone stare at me?" - "Because you're the most handsome guy at this party!" "Was that a compliment?" he asked, blushing. "No, that was the truth. You're so damn cute!" I replied.
"You're joking, there are so many handsome guys here that you're complimenting me, but thank you. That's really sweet of you. What's your name?"
"Olli! And what should I call you? There's no name prettier than that..."
“I’m Tim. Are you from Cologne?”
"Unfortunately not. I'm from the Koblenz area, and you?"
"I'm from near Dortmund. Robert invited me to spend the weekend with him, but I haven't seen him in three hours."
"You're not telling me you're going to wait here for your buddy to take you home without even knowing where he is. He's probably out having sex right now and has long since forgotten about you."
“Do you think he won’t come back?”
"No, I think he'll have a little fun, like most people here do."
“Have you had fun here yet?”
"No, I think that's too cheap. I'm here because I just broke up with my boyfriend and I need a little change."
"Oh, I haven't been gay for very long, and I'm actually bi. I don't really like it here."
"Shall we go somewhere else? In Cologne, you can find a quiet café to talk in, so we won't have to fight the loud music. Wait here, I'll just pay for our meal tickets, and then we'll go to a café. I know a nice one there."
[…]
After I paid for the meal tickets and we got into my car, we both decided to talk a bit. He told me that his parents were openly bisexual and had no problem with his sexuality. He was a high school student, just like me back then, and after graduating from high school, he wanted to train as a nurse so he could then study physical therapy. Tim had many goals, and while we talked, our eyes would always meet. I couldn't avoid those eyes.
At some point he asked me, “Why did you and your boyfriend break up?”
"Matthias was cheating on me for several months. He confessed everything to me via text message while I was on a school trip. He also financed part of his studies with pornography."
“Oh, so you must be very disappointed in him?”
“Yes, very much so”
“How long were you together?”
"Almost 4 years. I met him when I was 14."
“But that’s…”
"Early? Yes, but you can talk yourself into feelings and suppress them, or you can own up to them."
“Are you out?”
“No, I kept the relationship very secret, which was probably the reason why he cheated on me.”
“I would never cheat if I had someone like you as a boyfriend…”
This sentence not only surprised me, it felt so good. I was on cloud nine. A boy so sweet and handsome, someone who could have absolutely anyone he wanted, was telling me that he longed for someone like me.
“I wouldn’t cheat on you even if I had you as a boyfriend.”
"I believe you. You're a nice guy, Olli. I've been watching you all evening. But I was pretty shy and didn't have the courage to talk to you."
My mouth fell open. Sure, I was young back then and not ugly, but there were much more handsome guys at that party, and I could hardly believe what Tim was saying. His hand suddenly touched mine, and his head moved closer to mine. Our faces moved toward each other, and our lips pursed. A little timidly, Tim gave me the best kiss of my life, and I kept my eyes open to see his.
I had never kissed anyone so passionately before.
We stayed in the car, which was parked in a parking lot in Cologne, all night. Since it was very cold in October that year, we huddled together to keep warm. After a while, we fell asleep.
We exchanged cell phone numbers and addresses the next morning, met every free weekend, and had a long-distance relationship, 300km apart.
It was the best time of my life to see my boyfriend on my days off during my senior year.
We loved each other very much and felt a close bond. On the days we didn't see each other, we talked on the phone, and I was glad we had the low-cost area codes. Otherwise, our hours-long conversations would have racked up an exorbitant phone bill.
We rarely ran out of things to talk about and usually fell asleep while talking on the phone.