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Let's call him Luis, 15 years old, from Berlin Neukölln. He hasn't had an easy life: his parents were divorced, he'd never met his father, and he had three siblings. Social security benefits (Hartz IV) completed his fate. Luis's home is an anonymous prefab building; he's always lived there, and his few friends lived there too. His friends had similar fates. He learned early on that he had no chance of escaping this vicious cycle. His mother was hopelessly overwhelmed with the four children. Their apartment was sparsely furnished. Luis had dreams: he wanted to become a driver and then travel the world. He only knew other cities and countries from the television, which was on all day because his mother didn't work and just sat smoking in front of the box. The children were left to fend for themselves most of the time. Luis was the oldest and had to take care of everything. With three younger siblings, there was hardly any time for himself. Often in the evenings, when his siblings were in bed and his mother was sitting in front of the television, he would stand on the balcony on the 12th floor of their apartment and gaze longingly into the distance. He was anything but happy and a little envious of his classmates who had grown up in better circumstances than he had. In the darkness, he watched the brightly lit windows opposite. Then he wondered if the people had suffered similar fates. He often dreamed of what it would be like to have been born into an intact family. Cinema, swimming, playing football in a club, inviting classmates to birthday parties, pocket money, or maybe even his own room – well, he only knew all of that from stories his classmates told him. At school, Luis had no friends. He was an outsider. Who wants to be associated with an antisocial person? Some of them made it clear to him from time to time. He tried to get through school as best he could. He rarely did schoolwork, not because he didn't feel like it, but because he didn't have the time. After school, he would go shopping to cook dinner for his younger siblings. When Luis came home from school and heard voices, it simply meant that his mother was no longer in bed; she had already made her way onto the filthy couch. He had to cook and clean up more often. Little by little, his siblings also came home from school, hungry like his mother. Most of the time it was spaghetti with tomato sauce or canned ravioli, rarely vegetables or fruit. Luis was quite independent for his age. If he didn't do all of this, he and his siblings would have ended up in a home long ago. But he was very attached to his siblings and wanted to prevent exactly that. He often argued with his mother, however. She thought he was too lazy and threatened to throw him out of the apartment. Sometimes he would leave, but only three floors down to his friend Thomas. Thomas had it better. He was an only child and was spoiled by his parents. They didn't like Luis very much and often told their son to find better friends. But Thomas always stood by Luis. They had the same dream: to be long-distance truck drivers. Luis also inherited this passion for distant places from Thomas. They often watched DVDs together. Always the same ones: "Auf Achse," an old trucker series from the 80s. The main characters traveled all over the world and had the most exciting adventures. Like Franz Meersdonk and Günther Willers, the names of the two main characters, Luis and Thomas also wanted to travel the world, away from this dreary apartment block with its seemingly endless problems. The two often spent warm summer evenings on the roof of their house. They had figured out the trick to opening the door illegally. Then they would lie side by side on the roof for a long time and gaze out at the starry night. That was the highlight for Luis. Because his parents had jobs and money, Thomas was on a soccer club and was quite successful there. The family also went on vacation twice a year: in the summer for two weeks to the North Sea and in the winter for a week of skiing in the mountains. Thomas would then tell them about his experiences. This always made Luis sad because he would have loved to go on vacation too. He had never seen the sea or the mountains before; he only knew them from books, TV, or the many pictures Thomas always showed him, while telling him the most amazing stories.
Then the day came when Luis's world collapsed. Thomas told him that he and his parents were moving to Bavaria because his father had gotten a good job at BMW. Luis was unable to react, let alone say anything. He burst into tears and ran away.
Why? Why did his father have to get a job in Bavaria of all places? he told himself. There's enough work in Berlin. Except for his mother, who always said she was too good to slave away for so little money. Luis ran up onto the roof, sat down in a corner and cried bitterly. Thomas of all people. 'What will become of me now?' was the thought that kept going through Luis's head. It was slowly getting dark. Tearful and sniffling, he looked up at the sky. What would he still be doing here if his only friend was leaving him? He realized that he was more than just a friend. Luis was very attached to this friendship. It had been dark for a long time when he suddenly heard footsteps. He turned in the direction he had heard the footsteps and saw Thomas coming towards him. He sat down next to him.
“When are you moving to Bavaria?”
"Morning."
Luis turned quickly to Thomas and said a little too loudly:
“Tomorrow? So suddenly?”
"I've known for four weeks. But I haven't dared tell you."
The two sat on the roof for a long time, silently gazing into the distance. Then Luis broke the silence.
"Thomas, to me you will always be the best friend, no, you are the only friend I've ever had. I don't know how to tell you, but I think..."
Luis stopped speaking because he was crying. Thomas moved closer and put his arm around Luis.
"Oh Luis, I wish you could move with me to Bavaria. I'll miss you very much, too."
Thomas also started to cry. He'd been crying himself to sleep in bed for the past few days, as the possible end of their friendship loomed. Now it was their last evening together, and he wanted to say something important to Luis, something very important, even if it might ruin his friendship, which didn't matter now anyway.

"You, Luis..." Thomas began quietly. "...I have something very important to tell you, even if you might hate me. It's not easy for me, but since I'm unfortunately leaving Berlin tomorrow, I wanted to tell you something very personal..."
Luis looked questioningly in Thomas's direction. Thomas took a deep breath and then said quietly, "Luis, I... I... shit... I've fallen in love with you."
Luis looked at Thomas the whole time, without moving. What had Thomas just said?
"What? What do you mean? Why? ... The way you are... Whaaat?"
Only now did Luis understand what Thomas had just said to him. Thomas jumped up and ran toward the door. What was that? Before Luis could say anything or even react, Thomas was already gone.
“Thomas, wait!”
Luis jumped up and tried to follow him. He ran down the stairs but couldn't find him. He rang Thomas's parents' doorbell, but no one answered. His knocking and banging on the front door went unanswered. Nothing moved. Luis leaned his back against the apartment door and slid down. Then he pulled his legs up, wrapped his arms around them, and buried his face in them. He thought about what Thomas had said.
I 've fallen in love with you .
The longer he thought about it, the more he became certain that he, too, felt more, much more than just friendship for Thomas. That must be it. He always liked having him around, and when he was having trouble with his mother, Thomas was there for him, never annoyed by his stories. Thomas always had good advice for him. And when he said goodbye to him again, there was always a strange feeling.
'Do I love him too?' Luis kept thinking.
The light in the stairwell had long since gone out when he suddenly heard footsteps.
“Thomas, is that you?”
The footsteps stopped. Luis pulled himself together to turn on the light switch. When the light came on, Thomas suddenly appeared in front of him, halfway up the stairs. His eyes were red from crying. They both looked at each other for a long time. Luis was already slumped over in front of the front door when Thomas walked toward him with firm steps, stood in front of him, unlocked the apartment door, stepped over Luis, and then locked the door behind him. Luis didn't quite understand what was going on. He turned around to bang on the door.
“Thomas, please open the door!”
It slowly opened. Thomas stood there, tears streaming down his face, his head bowed, wiping his damp cheeks with his shirtsleeve.
"What do you want from me now? Please leave me alone. Don't make this any harder for me."
“Thomas, what you told me earlier on the roof, were you serious?”
“Luis, you better go instead of making fun of me now.”
"Hey, please let me in. I have something to tell you, Thomas. Please!" Luis begged.
“Okay, come in, but if you want to make fun of me or insult me, you better leave now.”
Luis went into Thomas's apartment and locked the front door behind him. After a while of silence on both sides, Luis leaned against the front door and spoke quietly, "I... I thought I was the only one who felt this way..." while looking down at the floor the whole time.
“What did you say?”
Luis now looked into Thomas' face.
"I think that... that I love you too. I don't really know. Whenever I'm around you, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. And just thinking about you makes me want to jump for joy. If I had known before that this had to be love, then... then..."
Luis couldn't go any further because Thomas stood in front of him and slowly brought his mouth closer. Their lips touched tentatively at first, then became more and more demanding. Thomas put his arm around Luis to pull him closer. Luis gave in to the pressure and put his arms around Thomas's hips. They kissed more and more intensely.
Then Thomas pulled Luis toward his room. They kissed and caressed each other all over and slowly began to undress.

Much later, they were lying naked in Thomas' bed, both asleep, when suddenly the front door opened. "Shit, that must be my parents. Come on, get dressed, Luis."
Thomas's mother came into Thomas's room without knocking.
"Hello Thomas, we're back... what's going on here? Günther, come here quickly. Günther! What... what's going on? What are you doing here with our son? Günther, come on!"
Thomas and Luis hurriedly got dressed. Günther now stood next to his wife. "What are you doing?"
“I… I… why are you even coming into my room without knocking!” Thomas suddenly yelled.
"Calm down, buddy. And YOU, leave our apartment immediately!" Thomas' mother scolded, looking in Luis's direction. Luis picked up his socks and shoes and was about to walk past Thomas's parents when Thomas grabbed his arm.
"Stay a moment, Luis. I have something to tell my parents. Please!"
"Get out of here immediately!" Thomas's mother yelled at Luis. If looks could kill... Luis looked sadly back at Thomas, who was now standing there completely alone, looking at him, close to tears, desperate and begging for help. That was the last time he saw Thomas.

When Luis tried to ring Thomas's doorbell the next day, the door was open and removal men were already clearing out the apartment. Thomas had left for Bavaria with his mother early that morning. Only his father was still in the apartment, directing the removal men, when he saw Luis standing sadly in the doorway. He looked at him angrily at first, but then approached him. Luis assumed a fighting stance because he didn't know how Thomas's father would react. He stopped just in front of Luis and pressed a package to his chest.
"Here, Thomas told me to give this to you. Now stop disturbing us. Come on, get out of here!"
With his head bowed and sobbing, Luis turned around, sat down on the steps, and began to cry. Thomas' father looked at him for a long time, then took a few steps toward Luis and sat down next to him on the steps, snorting.
"You have to forget him. It will hurt at first. One day you won't think about him anymore."
He gently patted and stroked Luis's shoulder. Luis clutched Thomas's package tightly.
"He was my best friend. Now I have no one here. I will never, ever forget him."
“Have you two been a couple for a while?”
“No, we just confessed our feelings yesterday.”
"Oh dear, barely together and already torn apart again. That's hard. But you're still young. You'll definitely find someone else soon." Luis stood up and walked slowly up the stairs, then turned around.
"You only find someone as special as Thomas once in a lifetime," and looked into the face of a sad man who had probably just admitted to himself that his job change had cost him his son's first love. Luis walked upstairs in silence, opened the door, and went into his room.
Sitting on the bed, Luis looked at the package, which read in large letters > For my best friend <. Slowly, with trembling hands, Luis opened the package. He took out the letter and began to read what Thomas had written to him:

My dear Luis,

I don't know what to write to you. It's 2:00 a.m. and I'm still lying awake. I can't stop thinking about you. Last night with you was wonderful. I've never had a friend like you. I don't know how I'll be able to live in Bavaria without you. I talked to my parents about us for a long time yesterday. Dad didn't think it was so bad that I was gay. Only Mom kept grumbling. But you heard that too. Mom would have loved to go to Bavaria with me straight away, but Dad managed to talk her out of it. But she wants to leave early tomorrow morning. Dad is going later with the removal companies. I actually wanted to go with them. I was so excited. Finally, to drive a big truck. Mom is really stupid sometimes.
I would have loved to say a proper goodbye to you. Please, Luis, try to forget me. One day you'll find a friend who deserves you. I will definitely never forget you. We had a great time, and if I hadn't been such a coward...

You will remain a part of me forever.

I will always love you.

Your Thomas

Also included in the package was the DVD box set of their favorite series, "Auf Achse." When Luis held it in his hands, he burst into tears. How many times had they watched the episodes together? There was also a CD included. It contained Thomas's favorite song by Bette Midler, "The Rose." From then on, it was Luis's favorite song, too. And whenever he heard this song or it was played on the radio, he thought of his first love: Thomas.

Time passed, and Luis made new friends. "Friends"? Peer and Dragan weren't the best company for Luis. But he wanted to forget, and these two came in handy. They robbed old people for €20 or robbed and blackmailed schoolmates. They were often caught by the police. His mother would then kick him out, and so he secretly lived with Peer in the basement, on the street, or in old, condemned buildings.
They continued to walk through the streets together when they encountered another alleged victim in Volkspark Friedrichshain. But this time, things were about to escalate.
Dragan asked a boy what time it was to distract him. Luis quickly grabbed the surprised boy from behind in a headlock and demanded his valuables. The victim resisted and reached into his jacket pocket. It wasn't his cell phone that he was holding. With a sudden movement, the boy turned and stabbed Luis in the stomach. Screaming, Luis let go of the victim and grabbed his stomach.
Blood, blood everywhere.
Peer and Dragan stood frozen, staring at Luis in horror. Dragan was the first to come to and nudged Peer.
“Come on, let’s get out of here!”
And then the two were no longer visible. Luis fell to his knees, whimpering, and held his hands to his stomach. "Shit, I'm bleeding," he stammered in the direction of the attacked boy. With the presence of mind, the boy did the only right thing, pulled his cell phone from his pocket, and called 911. Luis was already lying on the ground, whimpering, a pool of blood forming. The boy knelt in front of Luis and spoke excitedly.
"Shit, the ambulance is almost here. Don't give up now. I don't want to go to jail for murder."
“I’m sorry!” Luis just whispered.
The ambulance could be heard from afar.
"Do me a favor and lie still. I'll quickly direct the ambulance. Please don't die now, do you hear?"
"I promise!" Luis panted. There was already blood in his mouth. Luis thought of Thomas. That was the last thing he noticed. Then everything went black around him.

Markus
Finally the weekend. I wanted to go out with my friends today. We'd arranged to meet at 11:30 p.m. in Volkspark Friedrichshain. I was late again. If choosing clothes wasn't always so difficult. My God, the more you have in your closet, the harder the decision. Unfortunately, if I wanted to be even remotely on time, I had to walk through Volkspark. That would be hell. No, I'm not really a scaredy-cat, but almost two years ago I was mugged in Volkspark. A couple of idiots were apparently having fun scaring unsuspecting people out of the bushes. Because I panicked, these idiots beat me up. When I came to, my cell phone and money were gone. I filed a police report. But the perpetrators were never caught. I've heard of other cases of this scam; some didn't file a report out of fear or false shame. Well, ever since then I've avoided Volkspark at this time of night.
This one time, I thought, nothing will happen. Besides, I had my new knife with me as a deterrent. That made me feel more confident.

My friends knew about my habit of being late, so everyone was told the correct time, and only I was always asked to be at the meeting point at least 30 minutes early. Many of you are probably familiar with the 'academic quarter of an hour'; for me, it was even changed to 'half an hour'. Isn't that nice of my friends? I always said, 'If you're friends, you don't need enemies.' We were a close-knit team and had a lot of fun. Well, everyone had the most amazing girl stories to tell, but I hadn't had anything like that to show for it. Which was probably because I didn't find girls as exciting as, say, boys. Yes, you've noticed, I'm gay (I'll refrain from saying 'and that's a good thing' for now). I was very uptight about it. Until recently, I wasn't so sure either. For example, in gym class, I would secretly look at my classmates while they were showering and changing. Or in the summer at the outdoor pool, I kept glancing at various boys. I always had to be careful not to wake up my little friend and salute me proudly. Well, it did happen once, that my little one (this isn't meant as a reference to his size) just took off on his own. I hadn't dared to come out to either my parents or my friends. I was afraid of losing their friendship if they took issue with it.

So, I walked quickly towards the Volkspark to cross it as quickly as possible.
“Hey, could you please tell me what time it is?” a boy came towards me.
"Sure, just a minute," I replied, looking for my phone. Well-mannered as I am, if you ask nicely, you'll get an answer.
Then it all happened in a flash. I was suddenly attacked from behind and immediately put in a headlock. Panic spread through me. I was reminded of the attack from back then. My hand still in my pocket, searching for my cell phone, I spontaneously and without much thought grabbed the knife and with one swift movement I pulled it from my pocket and stabbed my opponent, who still had me firmly in his grip. He screamed and let go of me at the same moment. I stumbled to the ground and looked into three terrified faces. My tormentor immediately grabbed his stomach, where I must have hit him. He looked at his bloody hands and slowly sank to his knees. Like the other two, I panicked.
"Shit!" I whispered. "What did I do?"
"Come on, let's get out of here!" was the first reaction of one of the other two. Before I could think anything, they started running. The injured attacker was now lying on the ground, yelping. As if in a trance, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and, trembling, made an emergency call.
"Shit, the ambulance is almost here. Don't give up now. I don't want to go to jail for murder."
I spoke fearfully to the boy lying in front of me. He just whispered, "I'm sorry!"
I heard the ambulance in the distance. I looked around, but there was no one around who I could approach to help me.
"Do me a favor and lie still. I'll quickly direct the ambulance. Please don't die now, do you hear?" I shivered all over, feeling alternately hot and cold. I looked at him briefly again.
"I promise!" he gasped, spitting out a little blood. If only I hadn't bought that stupid knife back then. But my friends had advised me to. Now it was too late. I quickly ran to the street toward the ambulance and directed it to the injured boy, who was still huddled on the path. I felt sick when I saw him lying there so calmly.
Is he still alive?
I blamed myself so much, I started crying and collapsed on the way. Then it all came out. I couldn't take it anymore. Four paramedics were tending to the boy, shouting orders over each other. I could barely hear anything. Someone suddenly stood behind me and put their hand on my shoulder. It was a policewoman. "Did you have something to do with this?"
I looked at her with tears in my eyes and just nodded.
“Please stand up and follow me to the car.”
I don't know how I got there, but suddenly I was sitting in a police car.
“Well then, tell me what happened.”
I kept sobbing as I looked at the paramedics who were still caring for the boy.
"I, I, ... was robbed. Three people, I don't know. It... it all happened so fast. First they asked me the time, and then when I tried to get my phone out of my pocket, I was attacked from behind. Suddenly I had the knife in my hand, and it was over."
“And where is the knife now?”
“I don’t know, it must be there somewhere.”
“Kurt, look for a knife over there!” the policewoman said to her colleague.
Meanwhile, the injured boy had been placed on a stretcher and connected to an IV. A paramedic approached the police car and told the policewoman: "We're taking him to Urban Hospital. He's already lost a lot of blood."
Then he looked at me with a nasty look. I started crying again as the paramedic turned around to quickly walk to the ambulance, which then drove off.
"He can't die. If only I hadn't bought that knife back then." "Back then? What happened? Are you trying to tell me that?"
“I was mugged almost two years ago and then, on the advice of my friends, I got the knife.”
The policewoman just nodded and took notes. Now her colleague was back at the car, holding out a plastic bag containing the blood-stained knife.
“Is that your knife?”
I looked down and just nodded.
"Okay, we've got everything for now. Unfortunately, I'll have to ask you to come with me. We still have to sort out some routine things like fingerprints and a breathalyzer test."
I just nodded my head absentmindedly.
I let it all happen. Later, I asked if I could call my friends. "Later," she simply replied. "We'll call their parents first, since they're not 18 yet."
“Do you have any information about the injured man’s condition?” I asked after a while.
"I'm not supposed to give you any information, but our last information was that he's still undergoing surgery."
"Thank you!" I said briefly and prayed, which wasn't usually my style, that he would survive and that everything would be okay again. I couldn't live with having hurt or killed another person. If only I had thought of that back then, but all I could think about was the fear of being attacked again. Then my parents came to pick me up. There was no risk of me fleeing, the policewoman said. Where would I run to? My father was a little pissed off that I was being treated like an offender even though I was the victim.
"That still needs to be clarified. We're investigating in all directions. It's best if you bring your son home first."
I said goodbye to the nice policewoman and left the police station with my parents.
Finally home, I immediately went to bed. I just wanted to sleep, but I couldn't get a wink of sleep. My mother kept checking on me and bringing me something to drink. Eventually, I finally fell asleep.
The sun was already high in the sky. What did I dream about yesterday? I thought to myself.
“Good morning, Markus,” my mother came into the room and sat down next to me on the bed.
“Are you feeling better today?”
I looked at her questioningly.
“Did I really do that?”
"Don't blame yourself. They're to blame! Not you!"
Did the boy survive?
“Mom, I have to go to Urban, I need to know how the boy is.”
"Take it easy. If you want, I'll accompany you. But first, let's eat something. I'll quickly bake some rolls, make us some coffee, and you can take a shower."
"Okay, Mom."
Later at the table I told my mother that I wanted to go alone.
I quickly made my way to Urban and inquired at the information desk.
"Hello, my name is Markus Jäger. I would like to know the location of the boy who was brought here last night with a stab wound."
"Are you a relative?" Oh dear, should I tell him I'm the stabber? I don't even know his name.
"I'm his brother. His half-brother."
"Oh, he's still in intensive care. You can't see him yet."
“Can I speak to a doctor?”
"I think so. Station four. Down the hall to the right, take the elevator to the third floor. Then turn right to the large glass door. You'll have to ring the bell there."
"Thanks."

It took forever for someone to come to the door. I was afraid my worst fears were coming true.
“Yes, young man, what can I do for you?”
"I wanted to see the boy who was brought in last night with a stab wound."
"Oh, stab wounds? We had three of those last night. Unfortunately, one died, then there's a 60-year-old man and a still unknown person. I turned chalk white and everything went black.

When I came to, I was lying in a darkened room. What was going on? A door opened quietly.
“Ah, Mr. Jäger, there you are again.”
“Huh?” I replied. “Where am I?”
“You just collapsed in front of the intensive care unit.”
“The boy who was brought in yesterday... has he died?” I looked anxiously at the nurse.
"I think you mean Luis, the one who was stabbed in Volkspark? He's out of danger after emergency surgery. You told the gentleman at the information desk that you're Luis's half-brother?"
"Well, that's not really true. Everyone knows that if you're not a relative, you don't get any information. I don't know if I can tell them. But they shouldn't get mad."
"Well, tell me. I'm a good listener."
She took a chair and sat at the head of my bed.
"So, I was mugged yesterday in Volkspark. And since it wasn't the first time, I've always carried a knife with me since then. Somehow, I stabbed the boy who attacked me from behind in the stomach. It all happened so quickly. I'm afraid he's hurt. I also blame myself so much."
"Hey, you're the victim. You were just defending yourself. That was your right. Whether there will be consequences for using the knife is up to the judge to decide. Was he alone? And who called the ambulance?"
"There were three of them. The other two ran away immediately. When I realized what I'd done, I immediately called an ambulance."
"That's very good. You stabbed him because you were probably panicking and scared to death. But you probably also saved his life. So you don't have to worry too much. Everything will be okay." - "I hope so. Is it possible for me to visit him?"
"Unfortunately, that's not possible. He's still in an artificial coma so his injuries can heal better that way. He's lost a lot of blood. How are you doing? Can you get up yet?"
“I think so,” I said, sitting up straight.
“Come on, let’s go to the nurses’ station, where you can get a strong coffee and then you can go home, okay?”
I just nodded.
After coffee, I asked the nurse when Luis would wake up again.
“I think around the weekend.”
“Well, I’ll stop by again if I may.”
"Let's do this. Report to Sister Angelika, that's me. But you have to be there by 3 p.m. I have the early shift and then the weekend off."
"Thank you. For the coffee, and thank you for listening. See you Friday. Have a great shift," I smiled at her and headed home.
I was feeling much better now, compared to this morning. Luis, I thought to myself, what a lovely name. He's over the hill. His name is Luis. I absolutely had to go back to Urban on Friday.
The week went very slowly. At school, I tried to concentrate as best I could. I kept thinking about Luis. Luis, Luis, Luis. Oh, what a lovely name. Did I mention that? Luis is definitely not gay. And if he were, would he want anything to do with the man who almost took his young life? Although, really, it's his own fault. After all, he attacked me, and then, quite cowardly, from behind, with two accomplices. Oh, I'm thinking too much.
It's finally Friday. School! Damn! I would have preferred to go to Urban at 8 a.m. instead of school. But since I didn't have the courage, I went to school anyway. School finally ended at 1 p.m. I was just about to leave quickly when Sebastian stopped me.
“Shall we hit the slopes today?”
“No, not today, I have to go to Urban now.”
"Are you crazy? He cowardly attacked you, Markus, are you crazy?" "Sebastian, I almost killed him. I need to know how he's doing. Do you know how it feels when someone is lying on the ground in front of you, covered in blood, because you stabbed them in the stomach?"
"Not again, Markus. It's not your fault. If he hadn't attacked you, he wouldn't be in the hospital right now. Imagine if he had stabbed you... would he have helped you, or would we be at your funeral right now? That's how you have to look at it. You can't blame yourself. Besides, you called the ambulance and saved his life."
"Sebastian, I have to go see him. The uncertainty is eating me up. And if he kicks me out, I'll just leave and that'll be fine."
"Whatever you say, Markus. We can talk again on Saturday, okay?"
„Ok.“

On the way to the hospital, I imagined all sorts of possibilities about what might await me. I went to Ward 3 and asked for Nurse Angelika. It took a moment because the food was just being cleared away.
“Hello Markus, how are you?”
"Good. How's Luis? Has he woken up yet?"
Sister Angelika looked at me worriedly.
"We started the wake-up phase on Wednesday, but he hasn't come to yet. He needs to wake up on his own now. It might take some time, as he lost a lot of blood."
I resigned myself to falling into a chair and buried my face in my hands.
"What have I ever done? What have I ever done?" Markus sighed, unable to hold back his tears any longer. Sister Angelika knelt before me.
"Hey Markus, don't make it so difficult for yourself. It'll be okay, trust me. You have to be patient. Come on, come with me. There's someone else here waiting for Luis."
I looked up and followed Sister Angelika. I wondered who was waiting for him? His mother? She would definitely make me look like a snail, or worse...
We stopped in front of a room. Sister Angelika pointed to a boy of about 13 with a tear-stained face, his eyes fixed on the floor. "That's his little brother. He's the only one who comes here every day to visit Luis."
“Oh God, doesn’t Luis have any parents anymore?”
"Yes, but his father ran away, and his mother doesn't care about Luis. She put him out on the street, and that's probably why he became a criminal. If anyone is to blame for Luis's condition, it's his mother. I spoke to her on the phone, but she reacted completely coldly. I felt really sick. Then I called again later and his brother was on the line. He came right over and sits here in front of his bedroom door the whole time because he's not allowed in."
“Thank you, Sister Angelika, I’ll sit down with him sometime.” He said and walked towards the little boy.
“Hello, my name is Markus, may I sit down?”
The little boy looked at me sadly for a moment and then looked back down at the ground in front of him and nodded slightly.
"Julius," he whispered barely audibly. "I'm afraid for my brother. Who on earth did this to him? He's not hurting anyone."
“Do you think he was mugged?”
"Yeah, what else? Are you from the police?"
“No, I’m only 16. That’s probably too young for this job.”
I tried to gain his trust and lied to him that I knew him from school. "He always looks after me and my little siblings when Mom wants to watch TV. We don't have a dad. Luis also usually makes dinner and helps us with our homework."
“You must be proud of your brother, right?”
"Yes, I can't imagine anyone better. Without him, we'd probably be in a home by now."
That gave me another pang. How could this boy, on the one hand, care so lovingly for his siblings, and on the other, attack and rob people in the park? Luis piqued my curiosity more and more. I still didn't know what made this boy so interesting. Julius raved about his brother, and there must be some truth to that.
I had to coax Julius out of his shell a little and questioned him.
"Tell me, Julius, Luis is said to have had a lot of trouble with the police. He's supposedly robbed other people and stuff."
"Yes, that's true. He must have met some stupid friends there. When they were out, I was never allowed to go with them. They always said we didn't want little babies with us. They were really mean. Luis would talk like that too. But when he got home, he usually apologized to me."
“He allegedly attacked someone again last week and the victim apparently fought back.”
“But that doesn’t mean you have to try to kill the other person,” sobbed Julius.
"Maybe the other guy was already attacked and panicked. He stabbed someone in fear to free himself. The victim then called an ambulance, while his supposed friends simply fled," Julius said, looking questioningly at Markus.
“How do you know all this?”
"Uh, yeah, ... well, ... well, you know ... hmm ... it, it said so in the newspaper." "In which newspaper?"
“The one with the four letters.”
„Hm.“
Julius looked down again.
“What do you actually want here?”
Oh dear, what am I doing here? How am I supposed to explain to him that I'm the one who stabbed his brother?
Suddenly, a flurry of activity erupted in the hallway. Two nurses came running and disappeared into the room where Luis was lying. A loud beeping sound came from the room, and the nurses were talking frantically. A doctor came running and also disappeared into the room. Shortly afterward, a nurse came back out, looked at us briefly, and then ran toward the nurses' station. My heart began to race. Julius looked from side to side, his mouth open and his eyes wide open. Now Nurse Angelika also came running. I jumped up.
"Is something wrong with Luis? Sister, say something!"
"Take care of Julius. Go for a little walk in the park."
What kind of answer is that? I looked at Julius, who was now sitting trembling and apathetic in his chair.
"Luis, Luis, please don't, Luis. No. Not Luis. NO!!!"
Julius jumped up and tried to storm into the room. He ripped open the door. There we saw Luis lying shirtless on his bed. Next to him stood a doctor with a defibrillator. "Attention, please step back. One, two, three. Nurse, get the children out. Again, step back, one..."
“Come on, there’s nothing you can do for him here.”
“Is my brother dead?” Julius asked in a tearful voice.
"We're still fighting. Pray for him. Markus, please take care of Julius and go to the nurses' station," he said, and disappeared back into the hospital room.
I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore, my lungs burned, I felt dizzy and started to stagger.
"I didn't mean that. You have to believe me. I didn't mean that," I cried, falling to my knees. Julius stood before me, sniffling.
"YOU?" ... "WHY?"
Damn, my life won't be worth anything if Luis dies. That day last week kept running through my head. Why had I let myself be persuaded to buy a knife?
I sat on the floor next to the nurses' station and cried. Julius stood at the window, looking out and sniffling. I heard footsteps coming from the direction of the hospital room. Looking up, I saw Nurse Angelika's face. She winked at me and gave me a thumbs-up. A cold shiver ran down my spine. I immediately jumped up, threw myself into the nurse's arms, and cried uncontrollably. This time, they were tears of joy.
"Julius, your brother did it, do you hear? Julius!"
But he remained standing at the window, crying to himself. I slowly walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder.
"Don't touch me, you pig! You almost killed my brother. Go away. I don't want to see you again!"
"Julius, let me explain. He attacked me... I was terrified... Do you understand? ... Scared to death... it was like a movie..."
"Stop lying. You stabbed him. What did he do to you? ... What?" Julius shouted, emphasizing the last word.
"..He attacked me and wanted to rob me with his friends...I...I...I didn't mean to..."
I stopped mid-sentence and sadly turned away from Julius. I had now hurt two people with my actions. I slowly crept toward the exit when a hand rested on my shoulder. Sister Angelika.
"Markus, give Julius time. He'll eventually understand that you acted in self-defense. Give me your phone number and I'll call you when Luis comes to."
No sooner said than done. We exchanged phone numbers, and I went home sadly. If he had died, oh my God, I would never have been happy again.
The days passed. I kept waiting for a call from the clinic.

The phone rang. I ran to it excitedly. "Markus Jäger." "Hello Markus..." It was Sebastian. "...do you want to go to the disco today? Hannes and Guido want to go too. What's the situation?"
"I can't, I'm not feeling well. Besides, I'm waiting for a call from the hospital."
"Still that guy who attacked you? Markus, I'm starting to get a little creeped out by you."
"I don't know. I'm just not in the mood. Celebrate without me and say hello to the others."
"Okay, whatever you want. Well then. Bye!" "Bye"...

Riiiing ---------- Riiiiing ----------- Riiiiing -------- Riiiiing

"Markus Jäger... Hello Sister Angelika... yes?... that's a weight off my mind! Thank you Sister Angelika. Yes, see you tomorrow. And... thank you!"
I jumped for joy and cheered loudly. My mother looked out from the kitchen
“What’s going on, Markus?”
"Mom, he woke up. Finally woke up."
I collapsed exhausted onto the sofa and began to cry with joy. My mother sat down next to me, held me in her arms, and cried with me. I wondered if she was happy that she didn't have a murderer for a son? I sent a thank you to "up above," even though I had nothing to do with God. But I had found myself sending quick prayers to heaven time and time again.

Luis
Thomas, always Thomas. He constantly haunted my thoughts. The voices I heard were completely foreign to me. Bright flashes of lightning flashed every now and then. And then Thomas again. The voices became clearer. Somehow, I couldn't make myself heard. "He should actually be waking up. I don't understand," the strange voice said. Hello, here I am. But no one responded. I felt weak and thought of Thomas again. Why can't anyone hear me? "Little Julius is sitting at the door again. He must love his brother very much." Julius? Julius, where are you? There was more flashing, but this time much more intensely. The strange voices became clearer and clearer. And more flashes. It became bright. I could see something. Fluorescent tubes! Fluorescent tubes? Since when have there been fluorescent tubes in heaven? Oops, a strange face moved over mine and even spoke: "Luis? Luis, are you awake? I'm Sister Angelika. Hello Luis!"
Is this what hell looks like? No, it doesn't have horns. Do female devils even have horns? Anyway, at least she knows my name. But why am I here? "Doctor, Luis is coming around." - "Finally."

"Where am I? What's going on?"
“Can’t you remember anything?”
"I was out with my friends and then there was this boy... My stomach suddenly hurt so much... Blood! ... I don't really know anymore..."
"It'll come back. Just rest for a while."
“What about Julius?”
Sister Angelika turned around and looked at me. "Did you hear us talking about your brother?"
"Yeah, I don't know exactly what, but they were talking about Julius. Is he here?"
"He's been sitting outside all day, waiting for you to wake up." "Days? Have I been lying here for a while?"
“Yes, almost two weeks.”
“I can’t remember anything.”
“You’ve been sleeping the whole time.”
The nurse didn't tell me about the sudden cardiac arrest.
“I’ll get your brother in now.”
"Yes, please."
Sister Angelika left the room, and a moment later the door was thrown open again and Julius stood in the doorway with big red eyes.
"Luis, finally," he rushed toward me. At first I thought he was going to jump onto my bed, but then he stopped in time and threw himself around my neck. He started crying loudly and sobbing:
"I was so scared for you, Luis, you're finally awake again. Please, never do that, never again, do you hear? I can't stand it. We need you."
Now I started to cry too.
"It's okay, my little one. Everything will be fine. How are Susi and Kevin?"
“I think, good.”
“Have you been here in the hospital the whole time?”
"Yes, Kevin and Susi are still too small. And Mom just sits in front of the TV."
“Did she miss me?”
"She didn't mention you at all. And if Sister Angelika hadn't called again, we wouldn't even know where you were."
"That's typical of her. Did she always make you something to eat?" "I always had to go shopping. But I never had much money. So we usually had spaghetti with ketchup."
I had to grin a little.
“Well, the main thing is that you’re full.”
After a while, Sister Angelika came back into the room.
"So, Julius. Visiting hours are almost over, and Luis needs some rest now. Tomorrow is another day."
She said, stroking Julius's back. When Julius left, I became very thoughtful. What had I ever done? I had to get out of here as quickly as possible and get back to taking care of my siblings.

Markus
I haven't slept well the last few nights. I couldn't stop thinking about Luis. Would he forgive me for almost killing him? Did he even remember him? I imagined all the different ways he might react. What if I don't go at all and simply forget about him? That's not possible, because at some point we'll see each other again in court. I can't even think about a possible trial. I don't even know whether I'll end up standing before the judge as a robbery victim or as a stabber. The latter really weighed on me. At least the burden of standing trial as a murderer had been lifted from my mind. After much deliberation, I got up and went to the bathroom. After a hearty breakfast, my heart pounding, I made my way to the hospital. When I got there, I discovered that Nurse Angelika was off work today. Since I knew the way, I went straight to Luis's room. As I stood in front of the door, I started to think: Should I go or shouldn't I? I paced back and forth in front of the door. Something was odd here. I turned to walk to the bedroom door when I saw Julius standing there with his arms crossed. He glared at me as I approached. "Hello Julius. How are you?"
"Still good. And if you don't disappear immediately, that could change quickly!"
"Hey, Julius, what's going on? Please let me see your brother. I have some things to clear up with him."
“That you wanted to kill him?”
“Don’t talk nonsense!”
“Oh yeah, so why is he lying here?”
“Because he cowardly attacked me with his even more cowardly friends.”
“You’re twisting the facts here, aren’t you?”
"No, Julius. Put yourself in my shoes: I was mugged two years ago and was badly injured. It took me a long time to be able to walk alone on the street again in the evenings. I was finally on the right track when your 'oh so sweet, innocent brother' had to mug me. I was panicking, Julius, scared shitless. Do you understand?"
I had now talked myself into a rage and was shaking slightly.
“Aren’t you exaggerating a bit?”
"Man, man, Julius. Have you ever been truly scared? Scared to death, not knowing if you'd survive the next moment?"
“Only when what happened to Luis here in the hospital a few days ago.” Julius became a little thoughtful.
"Be happy. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. You know... I've never told anyone this because it's so embarrassing. After the attack, I wet my bed several times at night. Can you imagine how that feels as a 14-year-old? You can't fall asleep because you're so scared, you leave the light on at night, you wake up drenched in sweat, and your parents are standing in your room because you were screaming in your sleep!"
I was now shaking more violently and my eyes were moist as I revealed myself to the person opposite me.
Julius became thoughtful and lowered his head.
"I'm sorry. Does Luis have to go to jail now?"
"I don't know. That's up to the judges. But first, I want to talk to Luis. We hurt each other. He's just as much to blame for his situation as I am. But I want to clear this up with him privately. So, will you please let me see your brother?"
Julius looked at me for a long time, then took a step to the side and said, “Okay.”
I knocked on the door and then slowly opened it. Only a curly blond man peeped out of the single bed, not moving. Was he asleep? I didn't want to wake him and was already considering coming back later. Then something moved.
“Julius, is that you?” the voice said sleepily.
"Hello Luis, I'm Markus. We had a bad encounter two weeks ago."
The boy in the bed jumped up, turned towards me and looked at me with wide open eyes.
"I've never seen you before. I don't remember you."
"Then think about it. The other day in Volkspark Friedrichshain? huh?"
Luis thought about it and then the euro cent must have fallen.
"You? Shit... I... I... You are... oh,... hmm..." He seemed to be thinking about what to say, looking sheepishly at his duvet. Luis slowly looked up from his duvet, excitedly picking at his fingers, and then shyly looked in my direction. I didn't bat an eyelid. Luis blinked right into my eyes.
“Please go now, it would be better if you just disappeared,” he whispered softly.
“Is that all you have to say?”
Luis looked out the window and sniffed quietly. He didn't respond to my question, but simply nodded slightly. What's going on now? I, the victim, come to visit the perpetrator in the hospital, and what does he do? He just throws me out. How do I feel about that?
"Are you out of your mind? You attacked me, and even though I attacked you with a knife—which I'm very sorry about, by the way, because I didn't consider the consequences—I want to apologize to you! And you just throw me out?"
Silence, just silence.
"Well, if that's the case, I was probably mistaken about you. Julius must have been talking about another brother he told me about in the last few days. That can't be you. Well then, I think we'll see each other again at your court hearing."
I turned around, disappointed and a little angry, and opened the door to leave when Julius suddenly appeared in the hallway in front of me.
“Have you sorted everything out?”
I pushed Julius aside to leave the room.
“Markus, wait a minute!”
I just kept walking, I was too hurt. Tears welled up in my eyes, I became increasingly angry, and I regretted being in the hospital all that time.
“Come on, Markus, just wait a minute!”
Annoyed, I turned around.
“What else is it?” I said a little too aggressively and wiped a tear from my face.
“What was going on?”
Julius had followed me. We stood facing each other.
"I don't know, but Luis seems angry at me about the knife attack. I can kind of understand it. But then again, he started everything with his sneaky robbery in the Volkspark. I guess I should be angry with him. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to. Well, and then he just kicked me out."
"I'll talk to him, Markus. You're really good. I wish you were Luis's friend, because the people he's been hanging out with lately haven't been good for him. Back when Thomas still lived here, the two of them were like, heart and soul. But since Thomas moved to Bavaria a year ago, Luis has changed a lot. I don't know what's wrong with him either. I'm really sorry."
"I have to go. Take care, Julius."
I turned to leave when Julius put his hand on my shoulder. "Can you give me your number? Then I could call you when Luis is back to his senses and wants to talk to you."
I thought about it for a moment and then agreed. I gave him my number and asked for his.
"Sorry, I don't have a cell phone. We don't have enough money for one in our family," Julius said sadly. I just nodded briefly and gave him a gentle pat on the upper arm.
"It's okay. Bye, Julius," I turned around and left the hospital. In the parking lot, I looked around briefly and saw Julius in the doorway. We waved to each other briefly, then I headed to the bus.

Luis
He was gone. Why did I let him go? I'm to blame for the whole thing. At least, I bear the main blame. Something like this was bound to happen at some point. And my friends Peer and Dragan just took off. I don't want friends like that anymore. I don't care about them. Why did Markus come to see me in the hospital in the first place? He didn't need to. Would I have gone to visit him if things had happened the other way around? If Thomas still lived here, I certainly wouldn't have slipped into such a tailspin. I was ashamed of the things I had done. Markus woke me up with the knife attack. I didn't want to go on like this; this wasn't the life I wanted. Above all, I still wanted to LIVE. Somehow, Markus wouldn't leave my mind. I started to cry quietly. I didn't notice Julius come back into the room.
"Luis, what's wrong with you? Should I call the nurse?" he whispered, gently placing his hand on my shoulder.
"No, no need. Everything's fine, Julius," I sniffed.
"I just realized what a mess I've been up to lately. ... I'm afraid I've gone too far and will end up in jail. What will happen to you if I can't take care of you anymore? I don't want you to end up in a home. Mommy isn't capable of taking care of you. I'm such a failure. I'm sorry, Julius."
"You're not a failure, Luis. Please don't say things like that. Maybe you should apologize to Markus first. He seemed very sad earlier. Maybe the whole trial won't be so bad if you just talk to him. And as for Kevin, Susi, and me, we'll be fine. Once I know you're not hanging out with those idiots anymore, things will be fine. I trust you, Luis!"
“Thank you, Julius.”
After Julius left, I thought about my lifestyle. Things couldn't go on like this, and I needed to talk to Markus. Somehow, he wouldn't leave my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Thomas's letter.
>You will find a friend one day who deserves you .<
Is this THE friend?
No, he's definitely not gay, and even if he were, why would he fall in love with a criminal who, to top it all off, robbed him? No, that would be too much of a good thing. But I'll have to talk to him. Yes, I definitely will. Damn, now that he's gone... I only know his first name. I don't know his last name, nor do I know his address. Not to mention a phone number. All in vain? No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come to any conclusion. How on earth would I ever see Markus again? Hmm, I could wait in the Volkspark when I'm released from this hospital... Who knows, maybe I'll meet him there one day.
Ouch!!! I'll see him again, but not in a nice way. The trial! I'll probably be questioned by the police... And I'll see him again in court at the very latest. Will it be too late by then? I want to see him again soon.
After all these thoughts, I fell asleep and had a restless and dreamless sleep.

A few days later.
Sister Angelika woke me up very early.
"Good morning, Luis. Did you sleep well?"
“Not really.”
"Well, it'll be okay. The boss's rounds are at 10:00, and then you'll be picked up by the police. You'll be transferred to prison."
I flinched.
“I’m going to jail?”
"It looks like it, little one. But you should have thought about that sooner. It's too late now. But don't try to run away! There's a security guard outside the door, you can't get past him."

Markus
I couldn't get Luis out of my head. Why did he treat me like that? I could have reacted completely differently. I didn't care about him. On the contrary, I even felt sorry for him. Was he attacking others because he didn't have enough money at home? Okay, that shouldn't be a reason or even a justification for attacking and robbing other people. How desperate did someone have to be to go that far? I thought a lot about it. I would have loved to go back to the hospital the next day to talk to Luis. But I wanted to give him time. Besides, it would have seemed too intrusive if I left his room angrily yesterday, only to be back at his door the next day. So I tried, more or less successfully, to distract myself. Sebastian and I met up to go to the movies.

We decided on a comedy to lift my spirits a bit. Well, Sebastian just decided that for me. As for my bad mood, I didn't really want to let him know what was bothering me. We watched 'Ted,' a funny movie with a talking teddy bear who always had some not-so-suitable lines. We laughed a lot, and I was even able to forget my worries for a while. After the cinema, we went to an American burger restaurant for a Coke.
"Tell me, Markus, why are you so bothered by the robbery? There's something wrong with you. Do you want to talk about it?"
"What do you think?"
"Hey, don't act like that. I can tell something's going on. Markus, can I ask you a question? But don't freak out. Okay?"
“Well, then ask, Sebastian.”
"Well, I've been watching you a bit lately. And I'm starting to wonder. Could it be that you... well, that you're gay?"
“What?” I said, a little startled and much too loudly.
"How did you come up with that? I... I..."
I slumped down in my chair and looked sadly and thoughtfully at my Coke.
"Hey, don't look so sad, Markus. I don't mind. I'll continue to be your friend, gay or straight. I won't tell anyone. I promise."
I played with my Coke glass and then slowly looked up into Sebastian's face. I took a deep breath and then spoke in a tearful voice, "Yes, I'm gay."
Tears streamed down my face. Suddenly, Sebastian stood up and looked at me with a serious expression. My face froze within seconds. Had I just lost my best friend? We both looked into each other's eyes, and then Sebastian walked around the table toward me and hugged me. I was so overwhelmed by this gesture that I burst into tears. I was so relieved to finally be able to say it. It felt really good.
"Markus, don't cry, everything will be fine. I'm your friend and always will be."
"Thanks, Basti. You're the first person I've told this to. I haven't been aware of it for very long either. For a long time, I didn't want to believe it. But whenever I see a handsome boy, I get a little tingly. At first, I thought it was just a phase, but that phase didn't let up. In fact, it got worse. I had no one to talk to about it. Who could I tell about my feelings? It was horrible."
"Well, now you have me. You don't have to be embarrassed. By the way, I have a gay uncle. His name is Michael, and we're fine with it. I grew up with that fact and don't know him any differently. He's been with his Guido for over 10 years; the two of them are a great team. We have a lot of fun together. Not what you're thinking. But they're quite relaxed about being gay. And they're popular with the neighbors, too. If you like, we can go and visit them sometime."
I now looked at Sebastian embarrassed.
"Let's see. Thanks, Basti. I was so afraid that you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore if you found out I was gay. I struggled with it for a long time because I didn't know how people around me would react to my coming out."
"Thank you, Markus, for your trust. Is there anyone... I mean... have you ever had a boyfriend?"
"No, I haven't. I've only really come to terms with being gay for a few weeks. But... there's someone out there..."
Now I didn't speak any further but looked sadly at the ground.
"And?"
"No, let's not. It won't work. He's definitely not gay."
"Do I know him? Is he someone from our class or at least from our school?"
"No, you don't know him. It's... Well... but don't freak out. It's... the boy who mugged me in the Volkspark."
"Are you crazy?" Sebastian responded a little too loudly. Several people turned to look at us.
"I knew you'd react like that. I don't know. I talked to his little brother at the hospital for a while. And the more I learned about Luis, the more I felt for him."
"Aha, so his name is Luis. And you're really sure about that? About your feelings for him? Have you ever spoken to him?"
"I wanted to talk to him a few days ago, when he finally woke up from his coma. But he..." I couldn't continue speaking, put my hands over my face, and sobbed to myself.
“But he... what?” Sebastian looked at me and sighed.
"Let's have another drink, Markus. You don't have to go on if it's difficult. Take your time."
After another Coke, I started talking.
"Luis has three siblings. They live on welfare. Their father abandoned them, and his mother seems overwhelmed by the whole situation. He takes care of his siblings while his mother sits in front of the TV and couldn't care less. That really impressed me. I'm only an only child. Okay, I would have liked to have a brother or sister, too. I don't think Luis attacks other people on his own. It's probably his weird friends who encouraged him to do it. Julius told me that."
"Julius? Is that the brother who's been waiting at the hospital all this time?" "Yes, he's very worried about his brother. He's afraid he's going astray. Well, I guess he already is. But I don't think it's too late. Besides, anyone who cares so selflessly for their siblings can't be a bad person."
“And you, my dear Markus, believe you can lead him back to the right path of virtue?” Sebastian grinned in my direction.
"I definitely want to try. He deserves a second chance. I'd like to be his friend. Well, definitely a friend, if not his FRIEND."
"I know what you mean. If that makes you happy, it would be okay with me, too."
“Thanks, Basti.”
We both grinned at each other and then headed home.
It was already quite late.
“Tell me Markus, where does this Luis actually live?”
"I don't know. Julius was talking about some kind of prefabricated buildings. Probably Marzahn, Märkisches Viertel, or something like that."
Sebastian and I walked home in silence for a while.
"Okay, Markus, have a safe trip home. See you tomorrow at school. Good night and sleep tight. Sweet dreams," Sebastian laughed at me and hugged me.
"Yes, Basti, I wish you the same. And thank you for listening. See you tomorrow."

When I got home, my father came to meet me. "Good evening, son. You left your cell phone in the kitchen again. It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't keep ringing." Oh dear, I hadn't thought of that. I picked up my cell phone and immediately checked who was calling. It was a landline number, always the same, at least six times. The number was unfamiliar to me. I was just about to turn it off when it rang again. That same number again. This time I answered.
“Markus here, hello?”
A voice sniffed on the other end.
"Markus? Finally, you answer. I've been trying all afternoon and evening."
“Who is it?”
“Oh, it’s me, Julius,” the voice sniffed repeatedly.
"Hello Julius, what's wrong? Have you been crying? Is something wrong with Luis?"
“I was at the hospital this afternoon and wanted to visit Luis, but he wasn’t there anymore.”
I suddenly felt sick.
“Did... did he run away?”
"No, he's been transferred to prison. I... I'm not allowed to visit him. They can't do that, can they?"
"Oh Julius, I think so. That was to be expected. Is everything okay at home?"
"Yes, so far everything's clear. Why?"
"I was just thinking about your siblings."
"They're already in bed. I don't know what to do next."
"Shall we meet tomorrow after school? What school do you go to?"
“Max Planck High School.”
"Hey, so we go to the same school. You know what? Tomorrow at recess at the snack bar. OK?"
„Ok.“
"Well then, good night, see you tomorrow... and Julius... Everything will be fine, don't worry."
"Yes, thank you. See you tomorrow."

Alarm clock rings – drag myself out of bed – into the bathroom – a completely unfamiliar face in the mirror – breakfast in silence – doorbell rings – Sebastian! How can you be in such a good mood in the morning?
“Hello Markus! Is everything okay?”
"Hey, have you taken drugs? How can you be so excitable at this time of morning?"
"Oh, Markus, my darling. Eat your cereal, we have to go!" "Markus??? Are you crazy? Or did you run into the tram? Or do you secretly have a girlfriend?"
“Nope, I have you.”
Shocked, I turned to Sebastian, who was still leaning casually against the kitchen door.
"Sorry, Markus. I... I didn't mean to tease you."
Now Sebastian, who had just been so cool, looked ashamedly at the kitchen floor tiles. I couldn't suppress a cheeky grin.
"It's okay. I don't know you any differently. But on a different topic: I spoke with Julius on the phone yesterday."
“This Luis’s brother?”
"Yes, exactly. He goes to our school, by the way. I'm meeting him during recess. He was completely upset. His brother was transferred to prison yesterday. And Julius isn't allowed to visit him there. His mother wasn't bothered at all."
"Unlike you, right?"
"Now Julius has to take care of his siblings. Maybe I can support him a little. I'm not entirely innocent in the situation."
"Markus! Now make a point. Do you want to save the world right now? Who attacked whom? You're not responsible for all the misery in this world! Hurry up, or we'll be late for school."
That was the end of the matter for now. We didn't speak a word on the way to school. A double German lesson so early in the morning—who thought that up? It was still almost night.
Finally, the recess bell rang. I immediately headed for the playground. I repeatedly scanned the playground, but I couldn't see Julius anywhere. When someone tapped me on the shoulder, I jumped and quickly looked around.
“Hey Sebi, do you have to scare me like that?”
“Sorry, have you spotted Julius yet?”
“No, maybe he has class later today.”
"Come on, let's go to the cafeteria. I need a strong coffee before we're tormented by Franz."
Things suddenly became hectic and loud in the back of the schoolyard. I turned around and saw a large group of students gesticulating wildly. I don't know why, but I had to get to the bottom of it.
"Wait, Sebi, I'll be right there. Bring me a coffee, please. I need to see what's going on there."
He said this and walked toward the pack. I couldn't figure out what he was talking about, only picking up snatches of conversation.
`If your brother is a criminal, surely you are too`
`Hartz IV, you're all antisocial`
`Just look at his clothes`
`He hasn't even showered, he stinks so bad`...
I made my way through the others and saw Julius, totally intimidated and close to tears.
“Are you crazy?” I shouted at the others
"What the hell is this! Leave Julius alone. Piss off. You're all a little old! Get out of here!"
I screamed myself into a rage. I don't know myself like that. But my screaming had the desired effect. The students took a few steps back in shock or left the scene.
“His brother is a criminal,” said one of the group.
"Yeah, maybe. You said it yourself, his brother. So not Julius! What does Julius have to do with it? Are you crazy? Come on, everyone, get out of here."

"Thanks Markus, I was really scared. They would have definitely beaten me up. I saw the hatred in their eyes."
Julius began to cry. He slowly sank to the ground and buried his face in his trembling hands. I knelt down next to him and hugged him.
"Hey, Julius, everything's fine. I'm with you."
“Thanks,” sniffed Julius.
“Are you okay?” Julius nodded, looking at me with his red eyes.
Come, I'll help you up.
"Have you been going to this school long? I've never noticed you before."
“For 3 years,” said Julius.
“Everything okay, Markus?” Sebastian suddenly stood in front of us with two cups of coffee in his hand.
“Here Markus, your coffee.”
"Thanks. Sebastian, this is Julius, Luis' younger brother. Julius, this is Sebastian, a good friend of mine. Here, would you like a sip of coffee? It'll do you good."
Julius accepted gratefully and took a hearty sip.
"Are you coming? Break's over."
Sebastian directed us towards the school building.
"Thanks, Markus. See you at the next break. Then we can finally talk. OK?"
“Yo, Julius. See you later.”

Franz, or French, isn't exactly my favorite subject. But those lessons passed, too. During the next break, I hurried to the school door to intercept Julius so he wouldn't suffer the same fate as the first break. I saw Julius slowly coming down the stairs, his face fearful. When he saw me standing at the door, his face suddenly lit up. He waved to me and then skipped down the last few steps. "Hey, Markus."
"Hey, Julius. Let's go outside for a bit."
We went to a quiet corner of the schoolyard. How should I start the conversation now?
“When was Luis transferred?”
"Yesterday morning. When I got to the hospital after school, he was already gone." "You miss him a lot, don't you?"
"Yes, after all, he's my brother and best friend. You can always rely on him."
"He's apparently had run-ins with the law before. We'll have to wait and see whether he gets off lightly again or perhaps even has to spend a longer time in prison."
"It's all the fault of those stupid friends of Luis, Peer, and Dragan. Dragan goes to that school too."
"What? Shit. I don't even know what he really looks like. It all happened so fast that night."
“He’s standing back there.”
I turned around and saw Dragan standing in a corner with his friends. They were smoking. That's actually forbidden at our school (as it probably is at all other schools).
"That's Dragan? He asked me what time it was that evening. Then Luis grabbed me from behind and..."
Markus bit his lip and turned back to Julius. Julius just looked at him, nodding, and then said:
"It's okay. I know what happened next."
At that moment the second break was over.
After two more hours, school was over for the day. I left school with Sebastian. We were walking toward the bus stop when I saw Dragan standing across the street, animatedly chatting with his friends. I recognized one of these friends as Julius. I poked Sebastian lightly in the ribs.
"Look over there. That's Julius standing there with one of Luis's stupid friends."
"Yes, that's right. Does he know them better than he lets on?"
We turned around and walked to the bus stop. As if on cue, our bus arrived. We sat in the very back. I looked again at the others and Julius, who were still deep in conversation. But this time something was different. From what I could see, Dragan angrily tapped Julius on the chest, causing Julius to stumble backward. Dragan approached Julius again. Unfortunately, the bus moved off, so I couldn't follow what was happening.
In the afternoon, after finishing my tedious homework, I met up with Sebastian to go shopping. Teenagers our age often need new clothes due to growth spurts. Since our parents knew this, and we were already old enough to shop on our own, we were given the money to buy new clothes on our own. However, I had to account for myself later at home and put on a fashion show.
“Have you ever noticed that it takes a long time to decide on a piece of clothing?” Sebastian grinned at me openly.
“Stupid cow,” I grinned back.
"Markus, look over there. Isn't that Julius?"
"Where?"
“There by the T-shirts.”
I turned around and was just about to shout when Julius nervously turned in all directions and quickly made an expensive T-shirt disappear under his sweater.
“What was that?” Markus whispered to me.
“Well, one robs people and the other steals.”
I looked at Sebastian angrily.
“It’s true.”
I turned back toward the crime scene, but Julius was already gone. I'd lost my desire to shop. We grabbed the things we'd already chosen and went to the checkout. Back on the street, I looked in all directions, but Julius was, of course, long gone. We walked through the streets in silence when we spotted Julius with other boys in a small side street. I saw Dragan taking the stolen T-shirt from Julius.
"Sebi, there's Julius. Damn, that Dragan is there too. The guy next to Dragan is the third person who was there when I was attacked."
“Come on Markus, let’s go.”
"No, wait. I want to know if Julius is in cahoots with those idiots. Let's go over there so they don't discover us."
Dragan was talking to Julius. It didn't seem like the way friends usually talk to each other. After a short while, Dragan said something to the others, but of course, I couldn't understand it from a distance. Everyone laughed, and Dragan pushed Julius aside and walked with his friends toward the subway. Julius was left alone.
“Come on, let’s go to Julius.”
Julius saw us and was about to run away in the other direction.
“Julius, wait.”
"Sorry, I don't have time right now. I still have homework to do."
I grabbed Julius by the shoulder.
"Just a minute. You can go now. Who are you hanging out with?"
"I do not know what you mean."
“Julius, don’t fool me!”
"What do you want?"
“Julius, we were just in that clothes store over there…” I pointed in the direction of H&M.
“…and, is the euro going to fall now?” I said, a little more angrily.
"Shit. Dragan blackmailed me."
“What did he blackmail you with?”
"I can't say anything. Otherwise he'll try to set his people on me. Please understand, Markus."
"No, Julius. I don't understand. You can't let him do that to you. He's already led Luis astray. Otherwise you'll end up like your brother!"
"Leave Luis out of this! You have no right to judge Luis. Not you!" Julius yelled at me.
“Relax, man. Calm down,” Sebastian chimed in.
“Luis certainly wouldn’t be thrilled with your performance.”
Julius looked at his feet and started to sniff.
"Julius, listen, let's go to that café over there. Then you tell us everything, okay? And then we'll find a solution. Come on."
The three of us went to the café. Julius told Sebastian and me what had happened. Dragan blackmailed Julius by insisting he testify that Luis was the driving force behind their crimes and that he was blackmailing them. Julius emphasized that Dragan was the gang leader, not Luis.
“You have to go to the police, Julius.”
“No, that’s not possible.”
"Yes, it's possible. Do it for Luis."
“But I stole the T-shirt.”
"You were forced. And if you turn yourself in, you'll take the wind out of Dragan's sails. Come on, Julius, we'll accompany you too. You don't have to go through this alone."
A few tears rolled down Julius's face as he looked alternately at Sebastian and me.
"Okay, I'll do it. But right now, or I'll lose my courage again." Markus paid for the drinks and then went straight to the police station. Julius filed a report and told the officer everything.
Later, all three of us went to my place.
"Julius, I have something else for you here. This is my old handset with a prepaid card. I don't need it anymore. It still has about €10 credit left. If anything happens, my new number is saved under 1, and Sebastian's under 2."
"Markus, I can't accept that. It's not possible."
"Julius, no arguments. If Dragan ambushes you again, you can contact us immediately or call the police. So?"
"Thank you. But why are you doing this for me?"
"I don't know. I think I have to make amends for what happened with Luis."
I went to the window and looked out. Was I just feeling guilty, or was there more?
The next few days passed uneventfully. It was Friday. Finally the weekend. I had arranged to meet Sebastian and was about to go to the outdoor pool when my cell phone suddenly rang.
"It's Julius. Yes? Hello Julius, what's up? ….. Yes, that's fine ……….. well, actually, I was just about to go to the outdoor pool with Sebastian and a few friends…. Okay… I'll do it…. See you soon."
“That was Julius,” I looked confusedly at Sebastian
"Oh, I wouldn't have thought that. And it's definitely about Luis, that look says it all. And you probably don't want to go to the outdoor pool anymore, right?"
"Uh, yes, Sebi... Julius told me that Luis will be released from custody this afternoon. He asked me to accompany him to the detention center."
"Is that a good idea? I don't know. Let the two of them do it alone. What will it look like if the victim picks up the perpetrator from jail?"
"No, Sebastian, you go swimming with the others and I'll go to Julius. But please, don't tell the others about this."
"Okay, whatever you say, Markus. But don't get your hopes up. You don't even know if he's gay, too."
“How did you come up with that?”
"I can see it in you, Markus. Those shining eyes whenever you talk about Luis. Julius has probably noticed that too. Or why does he want you there to pick up Luis?"
“Nonsense, Sebi, go for a nice swim and don’t forget to take a good cold shower first.”
“You should do that sometime,” Sebastian grinned back.
“Idiot,” I laughed too.
After a friendly hug, I set off to meet Julius.

Luis
Shortly after breakfast, the chief's rounds began. I was a little nervous about the results. If he deemed me healthy enough, I would be sent to jail that very day.
Shit! What have I done?
Shit! Why did I let those stupid guys persuade me?
Shit! Why did that stupid guy have a knife with him during the last robbery?
Shit! Why am I acting so whiny now? It's my own fault.
The doctor sees no reason to keep me here any longer. What a bummer, now I'm going to the prison. After the rounds, the police officer and his colleague come to escort me. I'm feeling really sick and have to fight back the tears. This is what's happened to me. I act like a big mouth, and if things go wrong, I start to cry. The scar still hurts as I slowly get dressed. This way I can blame the tears on the pain. When I'm finished getting dressed, the ward nurse comes over.
"Luis, if I may give you some advice, apologize to your 'victim'. I believe he will forgive you. Give him this chance. He was truly afraid for you when things were critical. And apologize to your brother, too. He spent every free minute here in the hospital. I hope this attack, with this outcome, has opened your eyes. I am convinced that you are a decent boy."
Now I couldn't hold back any longer. I collapsed onto my bed and cried. I didn't notice the nurse leaving the room. The police officer put his hand on my shoulder.
“Come on, Luis, we have to go.” I slowly stood up, nodding.
“Maybe a few days in the den would do you good so you can see where you’re going if you keep going like this,” said the policewoman.
With slumped shoulders, I crept down the ward corridor. The two police officers waived handcuffs because I promised them I wouldn't escape. Where would I go? To my mother? She never even visited me in the hospital. She kicked me out a while ago. I didn't want anything to do with Dragan and Peer anymore. So I faced my punishment. I paused briefly in front of the nurses' station.
"Sister Angelika, I would like to thank you very much. I promise you that I will improve."
Tears welled up again. Sister Angelika spontaneously hugged me, and tears welled up in her eyes, too.
"I believe in you. Your siblings need you. Besides, you're no good to anyone sitting in jail. Do you promise me you'll change your life?" I just nodded silently and then squeaked a barely audible "Yes."
I perceived the rest as if it were a film. Suddenly I was standing in front of the large gate of the prison.
Goodbye freedom. With a loud bang, the large gate opened. It was at least three or four meters high. Truly terrifying. I turned around once more and looked longingly towards freedom. A hand was placed on my shoulder from both sides, probably so that I wouldn't suddenly change my mind and try to escape after all. I took a deep breath and then looked back at the gate, which had already opened. We took a few steps and stood in front of the next large gate. Again that bang. Now the large gate closed behind us. We were now standing in a courtyard about 6 x 6 meters, with large tinted windows on both sides. One of the police officers waved towards the tinted windows and a small door opened. With the jingle of keys, a man, about 50 years old, came towards us.
"Hello, Dirk. Who did you bring for us?"
"This is Luis. Robbery. He's coming from the hospital to await his trial here. The guard looked at his pad and then at me. Back at the pad, then back into my eyes.
"Pretty young for a repeat offender. And all these crimes in such a short period of time. Hmm, what do you think, Luis, can we get this under control?"
I said nothing and just shrugged my shoulders.
“Well then, come with me,” and to the two police officers, “You’ll get your signature and stamp for the documents.”
After this signature and stamping was completed, a few more notes were exchanged, and then the three said their goodbyes. The officer turned to me again. "Make the most of your time here." At first, I didn't understand what she was trying to tell me.
“Come on, Ellen, we have a new call,” the police officer called to his colleague.

"So, you're Luis? I'm the prison doctor. I'm going to examine you first. After that, you'll get your prison clothes and then be assigned your cell."
I followed the doctor into an adjoining room, which was furnished like a normal doctor's office. The only difference was the barred windows.
"Okay, then undress yourself. That means take off all your clothes and put them on the chair behind you." Disturbed and hesitant, I began to undress when suddenly a young woman came into the room. I froze, looked at the young woman, then at the doctor, and then back at the young woman. The doctor started giggling.
"This is my assistant, Ms. Maier. Don't worry, she's seen plenty of naked guys. Besides, she has one of her own at home. So Luis, go ahead."
I was quite embarrassed to undress in front of them, but since I couldn't escape anyway, I resigned myself to my fate. I was now standing naked in front of the doctor's desk, hiding my jewelry with my hands. The two of them were busy with some documents that Mrs. Maier had brought with her earlier.
“Ah, Luis, come with me to the scales.”
I was weighed, measured, and examined for all sorts of ailments. Aside from the stab wound and a slight case of phimosis, I was completely healthy and therefore perfectly fit for jail. The phimosis was perhaps embarrassing for me. Then the old doctor actually grabbed my penis and pleasurably pushed my foreskin back and forth. I had to really control myself not to get an erection. It was the first strange hand since Thomas... I burst into tears.
"Luis, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Put on this hospital uniform and then sit down next to me. Mrs. Meier, please get us two teas. Luis, would you mind a tea?"
I just nodded, sniffing, as I got dressed.
"Do you want to tell me why you were just crying? I'm a doctor and sworn to confidentiality."
"I, ... I had to think of a friend. A good friend. He ... he, oh, ..."
"Did he abuse you? Something you didn't want?"
"No, I wanted it just like him... well, I... am gay, and Thomas was my first boyfriend until he moved to Bavaria almost a year ago because of his father. I was just thinking about him. I still miss him so much. I was sad and angry because my life suddenly made no sense anymore. I don't know, but when they touched me down there earlier, it felt like Thomas."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. But it's good that you told me. That way I can get you a solitary cell so you don't have to be afraid. You should be out in a week or two. This is meant as a disciplinary measure to deter you from further crimes. You shouldn't really know this, but I think you've been honest with me, so I should be honest with you."
"Thanks."
“Do you have a boyfriend at the moment?”
"No, after Thomas moved away, everything was so sad and empty. I decided I'd never fall in love again."
“Since when did you know you were gay?”
"Ever since Thomas confessed his love to me on our last night together. At first, I was confused, but then I realized why I liked Thomas so much. It was like scales falling from my eyes. What I'd felt for him all these years had to be love. I just couldn't quite interpret it."
"It's tragic that your first night was also your last. That must have hurt a lot. You tried to suppress it with your fake friends, right?"
“Yes, that’s probably it,” I took the cup of hot tea that Mrs. Maier had brought in the meantime and took a big sip.

Unfortunately, the single cell didn't work out. Because of overcrowding and all that. Whatever, I had to go through with it.
After receiving bed linen and towels, I was placed in a cell for four people.
It was a diverse group. A Lebanese man named Mesut, an African man from Senegal named Youssoun, and a German man named Erik. They watched me closely as I was locked in their cell. The atmosphere was tense as I stood before them with my clothes, bedding, and toiletries.
"Hello, I'm Luis," I whispered more than I said. Erik approached me: "Why are you here?"
“Um, I robbed people in the Volkspark.”
“Was it at least worth it?”
“No, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”
Mesut grinned.
“Totally crazy, to go to jail for shit like that?”
"It wasn't just one robbery. And the last one went wrong. He had a knife with him, so he stabbed me in the stomach. Bad luck," I shrugged.
“Which bed is mine?” I asked the three of them.
“There,” Erik pointed to the top bunk.
“Don’t you dare wetter the bed,” Erik added.
"Don't worry, I'm not a deadbeat," I replied to Erik, who was apparently occupying the bottom bunk. He looked good with his short blond hair. He was a bit taller than me and had a good six-pack under his T-shirt. It wasn't just a stereotype that all you do in prison is bodybuilding. The other two also had a good figure, but their behavior and the way they observed me made me nervous. Youssoun had only watched me suspiciously and hadn't said anything yet. I made my bed and put my other things in my locker. Later, we chatted for a while until we were called to dinner. That's when I learned that Erik had broken into other people's apartments and had been caught. Mesut was dealing drugs in the schoolyard, and Youssoun was said to have beaten up his girlfriend because she was pregnant. The other two told me this because Youssoun still didn't say a word. Dinner was eaten in a large hall with all the inmates, followed by a general free period. Just as a free period in a prison should be. At 8:30 p.m., cell duty began. This meant that all inmates had to go to their cells, and at 9 p.m., it was locking time, as the cells were locked. At 9:30 p.m., the lights were finally turned out. I lay in my bed and slowly began to relax, but sleep was out of the question. I lay awake for a long time, thinking about many things. How were my siblings? Would I have to stay in prison long? How would my trial turn out? Will Markus forgive me? With all these thoughts on my mind, I finally fell asleep. Then, in the middle of the night, I was awakened by strange noises. I listened intently, but could only hear faint whispers. I lay frozen in my bed, hardly daring to breathe, let alone move to turn over. Slowly, though, I turned over anyway, because I was very curious. At first, I couldn't see anything in the darkness. Then I noticed faint shadows. I could see movement in the lower double bed opposite. It was Youssoun's bed. Was he talking in his sleep or having bad dreams? Then I noticed he was moving rhythmically and making moaning noises. My eyes were getting more and more used to the darkness, and I now believed Youssoun wasn't alone in his bed. I could see Mesut lying in his bed. It hit me like a lightning bolt. It had to be Erik lying in bed with Youssoun. Now it was clear to me. Were the two of them a couple? Or was it just normal sexual activity? After all, there were no girls here, so they had to find another way. The movements and moaning became more intense. Since the two of them weren't under the covers, I could see that Erik was lying on his back with his legs in the air. Youssoun was lying on top of Erik, becoming more and more violent. After a few minutes, he froze and collapsed. This situation excited me. I thought of Thomas again. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. A little later, Erik climbed out of Youssoun's bed and quickly put his clothes back on, while Youssoun simply covered himself up and whispered to Erik: "Not a word or something will happen!"
That was clearly a threat. I pretended to be asleep when Erik looked in my direction. If my heart had started pounding loudly, I would have given myself away. I didn't even dare to breathe properly. Only when Erik was lying in his bed and everything quieted down did I dare to relax. I lay awake for quite a while.
Wake-up time was at six o'clock. Gradually, the general babble grew louder again. I would have preferred to stay in bed for a few more hours. Erik shook me awake.
"Hey, Luis, you better get up quickly. If the guards catch you still in bed, you'll get punished. Besides, we only have 20 minutes to shower."
I was startled when I saw Erik's face right in front of me. I immediately thought about what happened last night. Erik smiled at me. All I could get back was a pained smile. I hoped Erik put it down to a possible bad mood that morning. I climbed sleepily out of bed, grabbed a towel and some clean underwear, and followed Erik to the showers. When I got there, I was shocked. There were no individual showers, just one large shower room. Several boys were already standing there, taking a long shower. I couldn't escape these images. Only a nudge in the side with Erik's elbow brought me back to reality.
"Hey, don't be so conspicuous. If someone notices, you'll be easy prey and will be passed around quickly."
I stared at Erik and didn't understand what he wanted.
"What do you think?"
"Well, the way you're looking and where you're looking, it's pretty obvious," Erik grinned. I blushed so brightly.
"Hey, you're getting some color. I hope nothing has started to act on itself by the time you take your clothes off."
"Huh?"
I was so dim-witted that I didn't realize I was suddenly standing naked in the shower. I turned to the wall to hide a little and so I wouldn't be staring at the other naked bodies the whole time. Then I realized I'd forgotten my shower gel. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and jumped. I turned around in shock and saw Youssoun standing right in front of me. He looked me straight in the eyes, his expression serious. I stared back. Youssoun stroked my chest and held his shower gel under my nose. I looked down at the plastic bottle and saw his penis. I cringed inwardly at what I saw. How on earth did Erik manage to fit that monstrosity up his ass last night without screaming out loud? I took the shower gel, thanked Youssoun, and looked him in the face. He just nodded slightly and then left the shower. Still perplexed, I began to soap myself as if in a trance.
Back in the cell, I put Youssoun's shower gel in its compartment, got dressed, and went to have breakfast.
In the afternoon, I had a meeting with the prison administration. I was introduced to a man from the youth welfare office who was supposed to analyze my misconduct with me. The conversation was pretty dull. He tried to explain to me where I would end up if things continued as they were. I told him why I became the way I am. Bernd, as the man from the youth welfare office introduced himself, listened to me with interest. I talked and talked, and Bernd nodded at me with understanding and asked me a question or two. It felt really good to finally get everything that was on my mind off my chest. At some points, I had to swallow hard and fight back the tears. For example, when it came to my father, whom I barely knew because he left us when I was little. Or my mother, who doesn't really care for us. Or Thomas, my best friend. I actually started to cry.
"You miss him a lot, don't you? You only have a few real friends. Most are just buddies or school friends. When he moves away, it's like a piece of yourself is being ripped out. And that hurts. And that pain sometimes turns into anger, which you then take out on the nearest person. And that's exactly your problem. You're actually, just as you've told me, a helpful and kind-hearted boy who couldn't cope with the loss of his best and only friend."
I just stared at him sadly.
“He was my first great love,” I whispered and began to cry.
"That's even more tragic, of course. Are you still in contact?"
I just shook my head and sobbed a barely audible, "No. He said it would be better for both of us if we had no contact anymore."
“It’s probably just as bad for him as it is for you.”
He then told me about his brother, who was also gay. It had hurt him to watch his brother suffer after the breakup with his first boyfriend. Therefore, he could empathize with my situation. After the long conversation, I finally felt really good again. We arranged another meeting for the next few days. I returned to my cell in a cheerful mood.
I only met Erik there. It was free period. Everyone was allowed to join the others in their cells, where they chatted or played table football or ping-pong in the recreation room. Erik was lying on his bed reading a book. When he saw me come in, he put it down and sat up straight. "Hey Luis, everything okay?"
“Yeah, all right,” I smiled at him.
He smiled back, and I thought I noticed a slight blush on his face. I was just about to lie down on my bed when Erik asked:
“Luis, can I ask you something personal?”
I looked at him and replied, "It depends on how personal."
“Would you like to sit next to me?” and he patted the bed next to him.
At first I looked skeptical and noticed how embarrassed he became.
“Okay,” and I sat down next to him.
"How was your first night? Did you sleep well? Well, it took me several nights to get used to this," Erik said, pointing around the cell at 'this'.
"It went like this. I lay awake for a long time and then eventually fell asleep from exhaustion."
“Tell me, did you hear strange noises last night too?”
What was that all about? Did he want to find out if I'd heard anything about his tryst with Youssoun?
"What do you mean? What noises. If I sleep, I'll miss even the biggest thunderstorm."
Erik looked me straight in the eyes. He nervously scratched the back of his neck and then his ear.
"Um, well, um, I think you saw something last night."
I blushed so red. He must have noticed. He wasn't comfortable with it himself.
"Please don't tell anyone about this, or I'm screwed. If something like this gets around, I'll shoot myself."
Erik hung his head. Tears streamed down his cheeks.
"Don't worry, Erik, no one will find out from me. Did Youssoun force you?"
"Well, partly, partly. He offered me protection if I was a little nice to him. He did turn me on a little."
“So you’re gay?”
"I think so, at least bi. And what about you? The way you checked out the others in the shower this morning, you're at least bi too."
"Yes, I'm gay too. I guess I wasn't careful enough."
I looked at him and had to grin a little. Erik blushed again when he looked over at me. Erik very carefully placed his hand on my knee. I felt hot and cold, but before I could react, Mesut suddenly appeared in the doorway.
"Hey, what's going on here? Are you two faggots? Oh man, I can't believe it, me and two sisters in a cell." Erik and I just sat there, shocked, staring at Mesut. Finally, Erik took his hand off my knee. Shit, I hope this doesn't backfire. Mesut slowly walked toward us, grinning. He looked me straight in the eyes.
“Well, doll, how about a little… well, you know.”
“Mesut, stop that shit.”
He now turned to Erik and spoke in a threatening tone:
"Come on, babe, leave us alone for a moment. Close the door from the outside and make sure no one comes in for the next 30 minutes."
“Mesut, stop that shit!” Erik said again.
“Fuck off, you victim,” Mesut now shouted.
I instantly felt sick. Did Mesut want to rape me? Erik looked at me worriedly, but said nothing more. He turned around and slowly left the cell. The next few moments, which I don't know how long, felt like something out of a movie. I hoped for a miracle, but nothing happened. Mesut stood right in front of me. I tried to get up from the bed, but Mesut pushed me back onto it. Then he started fiddling with his pants. "If you're nice to me now, I'll protect you from the others."
“Mesut, what’s going on!”
He slowly unzipped his pants and grinned at me.
"I promise you'll like it. No one has complained yet. So go ahead," he said, pulling his now-hard cock out of his pants.
I shook my head and fell back. But Mesut grabbed my hair and pulled me back up.
“Ouch, you’re hurting me!”
"If you don't parry, it will be even more painful. There's no one here to help you. So accept it. And the less you resist, the sooner you'll get it over with."
I saw no way out of this situation.
“Let me go, you idiot!”
“Shut up, you victim!”
I felt his hand slap my face as the cell door suddenly burst open.
"STOP!!!" three guards yelled and pulled Mesut away from me. They pinned him to the ground and handcuffed him.
“Is everything okay, Luis?” one of the guards asked me.
"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks," I whispered, still a little intimidated. "If there's anything else, let us know, okay? You can also come with us; we'll find a spot for you in another group."
I looked up and saw Erik standing in the doorway behind the guard. He looked at me worriedly.
“No, as long as Mesut is no longer in this group, I’ll stay here.”
I saw a slight smile on Erik's face. The three guards left our cell and the ward with Mesut. Erik slowly approached me.
"Are you really okay? I was really worried about you."
I started to tremble slightly and couldn't hold back my tears any longer. Erik quickly sat down next to me on the bed and gently hugged me. I don't know how long we sat there like that, but at some point, Erik let go of me.
“Thanks, Erik, I was really scared.”
“It’s good that the supervisors reacted so quickly.”
“Everything OK?” Youssoun had come into the cell.
"Yes, everything's fine," I sniffed. Those were Youssoun's first words since I arrived in prison.
Thankfully, nothing else happened for the rest of the day. The boys from the other cells didn't seem to have noticed Mesut's attack on me; at least, I wasn't being particularly observed. After dinner, we returned to our cell. The day had left its mark. I was very tired and fell asleep long before my prescribed bedtime.
The next few days were quieter.
In the middle of the night, I was awakened by whispering voices. Erik seemed to be talking to Youssoun. I strained to understand what the two of them were discussing. Since I was lying facing the wall, I couldn't even see anything. I didn't dare turn over. But I could already guess what was going on between them. After a while, the bed creaked rhythmically, confirming my suspicions. After a while, I fell asleep again.

The next day I had another appointment with my youth worker Bernd.
“Hello Luis, how are you, how are things?” he greeted me with a smile.
"If I weren't here, I'd be the happiest person in the world. Well, unfortunately, things don't always go perfectly."
"I heard what happened a few days ago. You can thank Erik for reacting so calmly."
“Erik alerted the guards?”
“Didn’t you know that?”
“No, he didn’t mention anything about it.”
“I hope you got over the shock.”
“Yes, Erik took care of me.”
After a detailed discussion about my behavior and my future, my supervisor told me that I could be discharged tomorrow.
"Really? Great. Oh, I'm glad to be out of here."
“And will you ever long to come back here?”
“No, never again. I promise!”
"That's what I was hoping, too. I spoke to your family on the phone earlier. What's your relationship with your mother like?"
"Not good."
"She didn't want to know anything about you. Then I talked to your brother Julius, who was really happy. He wants to come pick you up tomorrow."
Tears welled up in my eyes. Julius, my little brother. Oh, how I've missed him these last few days. The other two too, of course.
“You love your brother?”
"Yes, and I disappointed him. I have a lot to make up for with him." "Just stay clean and go your own way; that way you'll be the best example for him."
“I understand, Bernd.”
"Oh yes, I'll continue to accompany you, because I'm your parole officer. So no bullshit, otherwise you'll be back in jail faster than you can say 'eeny-meeny-moo.' Do you understand?"
“Ay ay, sir,” I said, saluting a little exaggeratedly.
Bernd just laughed and patted me on the back of the head.

Back in the cell, Erik, sitting on his bed, noticed my grin.
“What’s suddenly wrong with you?”
“I’m being discharged tomorrow,” I beamed at him.
"What? But..." he broke off and looked at the floor.
Something was wrong with Erik. That strange look, and then the search for words. He looked at me again. I noticed his sadness.
"What's wrong, Erik? Aren't you happy for me?"
"Yes, yes... I just think it's a shame that you're leaving again. I mean, it's nice that you're getting out again, of course. I... I...," he looked at his hands, which he was nervously kneading.
"Erik, what's wrong?" I asked again, approaching him. I knelt down on the floor in front of him. I carefully placed my hands on his. Erik looked at me with sad eyes.
"Luis, I think I'm in love with you. Please don't make fun of me. I don't know why, but whenever I see you or think about you, I get this weird feeling in my stomach. I've never had that with anyone before. I know it sounds silly, but I can't help it. I've even dreamed about us living together and being like a family."
Erik now looked at me in dismay, waiting for a reaction from me.
"Erik, thank you for your trust. I don't know if I love you, but you caught my eye on the first day. I'm not sure. In any case, I'd like to see you again. Out in the wild. Give me time. Please!"
Erik attempted a tentative smile and nodded at me. We agreed to stay in touch.
The next morning, we exchanged addresses. Erik hugged me goodbye and promised to get in touch. Youssoun stood in front of me and offered me his hand: "Son, stay clean."
I nodded at him with a smile and replied, “Please take care of Erik.”

I left the cell without looking back. I was close to tears. On the one hand, I already missed Erik and Youssoun, but on the other, I was looking forward to my freedom. Bernd was waiting for me at the large gate.
“Hello Luis. Did you sleep well?”
I just grinned at him. A few formalities still needed to be completed at the gatehouse: signatures and the receipt of my valuables. "Well, then we can get started."
We stood in front of the gate when it slowly opened. I recognized the person on the other side who suddenly rushed toward me. "Luuuis, Luuuuis, finally..."

Markus
I met Julius at the zoo.
“Hello Julius.”
“Finally, I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I’m on time, aren’t I?”
Julius looked excitedly at his watch
"Yeah, that's true. But we have to hurry. I don't want to be late. Come on, Markus, let's go."
"Take it easy, Julius, we have time. If we catch the next bus, we'll still be 20 minutes early."
“What if the bus gets stuck in traffic?”
"Julius, hello, I understand that you're excited, but you're driving me crazy."
“Aren’t you happy, Markus?”
“I, what?... what... uh... why happy?” I suddenly felt hot and cold and hot again.
Julius just grinned cheekily. I think I look like a ripe tomato right now, or at least that's how I feel.
“The bus is coming.”
Julius jumped, excited like a little child waiting for his presents. I had to grin. Julius looked at me, confused.
"What is?"
"Uh, nothing."
On the bus we sat in the last row.
“We'll be there in 20 minutes. Are you as excited as I am, Markus?”
“I’m happy for you, Julius.”
“Aren’t you happy that Luis is coming out again?”
"Yes, I do, but I'm skeptical he even wants to see me. I've only seen him once since the incident in the Volkspark. That was in the hospital, and he kicked me out then. So don't expect too much."
“But then why did you come along?”
“Because you asked me and because I’m happy to grant your wish.” Julius said nothing and just looked out the window.
“Next stop we have to get out, Julius”
„Hm.“
“Tell me, Markus, do you have any siblings?”
"No," I sighed, "...unfortunately not. I would have loved to have a brother or sister. But this way I don't have to share with anyone."
"I find it very hard to imagine being an only child. We siblings are already a close-knit team," Julius smiled to himself. "There's always something going on. It never gets boring. Okay, there are arguments sometimes, but we always make up quickly. I wouldn't give up my siblings for anything in the world."
I looked at him and saw in his eyes that he really meant it. What a lucky guy.
“So, Julius, we’re here.”
"Finally. I'm so happy. I hope Luis is okay. You always hear such scary stories about what goes on in prison."
"It probably wasn't that bad. Let's hope the prison therapy gets him back on the right track."
“Yes, I hope so too.”
There we stood in front of this ugly building with barbed wire on top.
“What time is it, Markus?”
"It's almost 1 p.m. Now stop fidgeting, Julius," I grinned as he looked at me annoyed.
“He should have been out by now.”
"Julius!" I admonished him. If he were my brother, oh dear, that would surely only cause a fight. Man, how annoying that little whirlwind can be sometimes. Of course, I was nervous too. How would he react when the gate opens and he sees me standing here? I felt like vanishing into thin air. Then suddenly, just as Julius was about to say something to me, his back to the gate, it opened.
“Julius, look at the gate.”
Julius turned around in a flash. Two people stood in the slowly opening gate. At the same moment, Julius rushed forward.
“Luuuuus, Luuuuuis…finally…”

They fell into each other's arms joyfully. I was happy for them both. Tears welled up in my eyes. At that moment I missed a certain person. It suddenly came over me out of nowhere. I wish I had a friend I could look forward to seeing. It looked so beautiful the way the two of them hugged each other. Well, I guess that's my fate. I didn't want to disturb them, so I turned around longingly and walked down the street to the bus stop. Julius had his big brother back. I looked at my watch. If I hurry, I'll still catch the bus. Now I was standing at the bus stop and studying the timetable. The bus will be here in 4 minutes.
“Markus,” Julius called across the street.
“Markus, wait a minute.”
I turned around, and Julius was standing in front of me. Behind him, Luis was slowly approaching me, visibly uncertain.
“Why are you running away?”
"I didn't mean to disturb you. You haven't seen each other in a while. Feel free to call me in the next few days."
Before Julius could answer, Luis spoke: "Uh, hello, Markus. Thanks for taking care of Julius. He told me what happened."
“Hi Luis, no problem, I was happy to do it.”
At that moment the bus came.
“The bus, I’ll go then…see you later.”
I got on the bus and glanced briefly at Julius and Luis, who were standing in front of the bus, slightly confused, looking in at me. I waved briefly, sat down, and the bus started moving. I remembered how Luis looked at me and how disappointed he seemed when I got on the bus.
He looked cute. I could easily imagine him as my boyfriend. But he's definitely not gay. The way Julius and Luis happily fell into each other's arms made my heart ache. I would have loved to be in Julius's place.
That evening my phone rang. Sebastian.
"Hello Markus. How was your reunion with Luis?"
"Short."
“Well, tell me.”
I started to cry.
“Not on the phone.”
"OK, I'll be with you in half an hour. After that, we can go to the disco if you want. See you soon."
“Yes, see you soon.”
Half an hour later, Sebastian was standing in my room. We just stared at each other. My eyes were still red. He slowly approached me and hugged me.
"So bad?"
I just shrugged my shoulders.
“I don’t know, I think I’m in love.”
“And how does Luis see things?”
"I don't know. I don't even know if he's gay."
"Oh, very complicated. Then you'll have to figure it out."
"But how?"
"I don't know. Definitely not rushing into it."
"Wait a minute, Sebi, my phone. ... Hello? ... ah, what's up? ... um, yeah ... Okay, ... all right, see you soon."
“Let me guess, Markus, that was Julius?”
"Huh, what... oh, well... right, Julius. His mom must have freaked out or something. They're coming by right now."
“What, Julius’s mother?”
"Yes, right away... what? ...which mother? Huh? ...oh no, not the mother..."
I was suddenly completely confused and looked around in panic, scratching my head.
"Hello, Markus, hello, are you home? What is it... who's coming now?" "No, uh, yeah, oh, Julius is coming."
Again, I looked around in confusion and looked down at myself. My room! It's not tidy. And what do I look like?
“And? Man Markus, you said THEY’re coming soon…”
I looked at Sebastian as if he were suddenly speaking a different language. Then I said calmly,
“Oh yes, Luis is coming too.” Sebastian started laughing
“Then it’s clear why you’re suddenly acting like you’ve been transported to another world.” I looked at Sebastian, disturbed.
"I haven't cleaned up at all. I haven't showered yet, and my favorite jeans are in the wash," I continued to moan, looking around helplessly.
This was too much for Sebastian; he screamed with laughter and collapsed onto the bed. Tears welled up in his eyes and he gasped for air.
“What’s wrong Sebi, what’s wrong with you?”
"You... You... hahaha... It's really cute how you suddenly panicked because Luis announced his arrival. Hahaha."
"Hello? You're soooo stupid, Sebi, do you know that?"
"Sorry Markus, but the way you just acted... simply sweet. I hope your wish comes true."
He stood up, came towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders.
“I wish that for you, with all my heart,” and looked deep into my eyes.
We just stood there for a moment and looked at each other.
“So, Markus, when are they both arriving here?”
“Half an hour or so.”
"Well then, off to the shower. I'm going to tidy up a bit, even though I don't know what to tidy up. Everything's clean," said Sebastian, looking around the room.

Sebastian
When the doorbell rang, Markus was still in the shower. But before I could head out the door, Markus's mother opened the front door and sent the two of them upstairs.
"Hello Sebastian, I hope we're not disturbing you. Oh yes, this is Luis," said Julius, pointing at his brother.
"Hi you two. Come in, Markus is still in the shower. Sit down, do you want something to drink?"
They both nodded and sat down on the couch.
"I'll just go get something. Uh, what do you want?"
“Cola,” the brothers said in unison.
“Okay, right there,” Sebastian laughed and disappeared into the kitchen.

Markus
A shower like this feels really good. But now I have to hurry. It's typical for me when I'm in a hurry to forget to change my clothes. I rushed back to the room with just a towel around my waist.
"Damn it. I forgot to get a pair of boxer shorts from the closet," I muttered to myself, annoyed with myself, and stood with my back to the couch. I bent down to the bottom drawer of my closet to pick out a pair of shorts.
“What do you think, Sebi, should I take the black one?”

"So, here are the drinks. Oh, Markus, you're already ready. Then you've already welcomed our visitors."
I jumped up with a start and hit my head against the top drawer, which wasn't properly closed. I turned around with wide eyes, not noticing that my towel had obeyed gravity and slowly rolled to the floor. For a split second, I stood naked in front of the three of them. Quickly, I held my shorts over my penis and then picked up the towel again. Smiling tightly, I looked alternately at Sebastian, Julius, and Luis, and back again.
"Shit, shit, shit," I babbled, laughing fakely, and I felt like I could just disappear into thin air. Luis just grinned at me. But the way he looked when he grinned. I don't know, somehow... yes, he just looked. Oh God, my legs... am I still walking or am I already floating?
THERE! I think he winked at me, right? I quickly headed to the bathroom with my shorts on and the towel firmly wrapped around my waist again, not without glancing at Luis again. He was actually still grinning at me, so friendly that I almost knocked the tray of drinks out of Sebastian's hand. My God, how embarrassing that was. Shit, Luis probably thinks I'm an idiot now.

Luis
The little whirlwind that was racing toward me was, of course, Julius. I glanced briefly at Bernd, who was standing next to me. He was grinning.
“Someone missed you, didn’t they?”
At first I was embarrassed, but then I was just as excited to see Julius as he was to see me. Was he sniffling?
“Finally, Luis, I missed you sooooo much.”
In fact, my little brother was crying. He was crying with happiness.
"It's okay, Juli. Hey, you don't have to cry."
"I'm so happy to finally have you back. Luis, I missed you so much. Your stupid friends tried to blackmail me, but Markus helped me report those idiots to the police. I was really scared."
“Which Markus?”
“The guy who gave you the knife… well, you know.”
“Why is he helping you?”
"I think he wants to make amends. And he's really nice, Luis."
“He should take care of his own things.”
I was a little pissed off. After a while, Bernd chimed in again. "So, Luis, I have to go to the office. You have my phone number. Tell me about that young man there, do you know him? He's always looking over here."
In the excitement, Julius seemed to have completely forgotten about Markus. He quickly broke away from me and looked in the direction where the boy had just been standing.
“Markus, wait. Markus!”
“Take care, you two,” said Bernd and went to his car.
"Thanks, Bernd, I'll be in touch," I called after the social worker. Julius ran after Markus, who had almost reached the bus stop. I slowly approached the two of them.
"Wait a minute, Markus. Why are you running away?"
He just said something like he didn't want to disturb us and we could call him or something. I would have really liked to talk to Markus. I somehow found him very likeable, and the way he looked at me when I thanked him for looking after my little brother. Markus got on the bus and looked at us briefly again as the bus started moving again.

Julius and I then headed home. I was happy to finally see my mother and my younger siblings again. After 40 minutes, we were home. I was quite excited when Julius opened the door. Before I knew it, two little squealing creatures came running towards me. Kevin and Susi clung to me as if drawn by a magnet. I immediately realized how much I had missed them both.
"Hello, my two, how are you? Oh man, I've missed you." "What are you doing here!" a snarling, market-barking voice tore me from my thoughts. Startled, I turned in the direction the voice came from. My mother glared at me. A male figure appeared behind her.
"Is that your criminal son you were telling me about, sweetheart?" This guy grabbed my mother's breast from behind and even planted a smacking kiss on her neck. I suddenly felt ice cold as he stared at me the whole time.
"I'll give you 30 minutes to pack your clothes and then leave my apartment," my mother chimed in again. "Come on, sweetie, let's go back to the bedroom. I'll check later to see if that good-for-nothing has left your apartment."
With these words, this disgusting man pushed my mother back into the bedroom. From behind the door, all I could hear was giggling and obscene snatches of language. I looked at Julius in disbelief, but he just shrugged sadly.
"She brought him home from the bar last week. They barely leave the bedroom, and I still have to run errands for that stupid jerk. I don't know what she sees in him. Oh, Luis, it's almost unbearable."
Julius leaned against the wall and began to cry quietly. The situation was really taking its toll on him. Kevin and Susi just looked back and forth between Julius and me, disturbed.
"I can't leave you here alone. But what are we supposed to do?" Julius had meanwhile slid down the wall and just shrugged his shoulders in despair.
"If we call the youth welfare office, we'll all end up in a home." "I don't know, Julius, but things can't go on like this. In any case, I'm going to pack my clothes and leave. I don't want that monster to get violent and take out his anger on you."
“No, Luis, you can’t leave us here alone.”
"Hey, you three, it won't be that bad. Or has he ever hit you or something?"
"No, sometimes he's even nice. But I still don't like him. Tell me, where are you going anyway? You can't sleep on the street."
“I’ll go and see if Peer or Dragan are home.”
"No, Luis, I won't allow that. Those two turned you into a criminal, so you can't get involved with them again." "Then tell me where I can go."
“I might know someone we could ask.”
Julius took his cell phone out of his pocket.
“Where did you get that?”
“From the one I’m going to call now,” grinned Julius.
Julius quickly pressed a few buttons and then held the device to his ear.
"Yes, hello, this is Julius. I hope I'm not disturbing you. I have a problem. Can I come over to your place with Luis sometime? My mother is making a lot of noise because she wants to throw Luis out of the apartment."
Julius listened to the voice on the other end. He nodded every now and then and occasionally glanced over at me.
“Okay, Markus, see you soon… And thank you!”
“Not THE Markus, is he?”
“Yes, Luis, that’s exactly Markus!”
“Forget it, better on the street.”
"Man, Luis, calm down. He helped me too. Come with me first, and if you still prefer living on the streets... I don't care," Julius said, getting really bitchy.
"Think again. But if you go to your criminal friends, I don't want anything to do with you anymore. I'm serious, Luis!"
Julius stood opposite me and looked at me very seriously. After what felt like an eternity, I took a deep breath and said:
"Okay, Juli, let's try. But if he messes with me, I'll be gone faster than you can spell your name."
"Agreed! So pack your things, then we can finally leave. In a few days, Mom will surely have calmed down again."
“And if not?”
“I have no idea,” Julius shrugged.
I packed my things while Julius talked to his younger siblings. When I finished packing and was back in the hallway, my mother's bedroom door opened and the stupid guy came out. He was only wearing shorts.
“Didn’t your mother tell you to disappear?”
“It’s none of your damn business.”
The guy came towards me angrily and stood threateningly in front of me.
"Don't get cheeky, or you'll get a slap in the face. Now get out of here. Your mother's already got enough trouble because of you. You're not welcome here."
“Are you at least paying the rent?” I blurted out.
The guy grabbed me by the collar and spun me around. With one hand, he opened the front door and then pushed me into the stairwell. I stumbled and fell backward onto the stairs leading upstairs. I screamed and was about to get up when my duffel bag flew at my head.
“Hey you idiot, are you out of your mind?”
The only response was the slamming of the apartment door. I fought back tears. "Shit, that's probably it." The next moment, the door opened again, and Julius stood in front of me.
“Come on, Luis, grab your bag and let’s go!”
We set off. We walked to the subway in silence. Half an hour later, we were both standing in front of Markus's parents' house.

"Does Markus live here with his parents? It's really big," I said as I looked at the house in amazement.
“Yes, Markus lives upstairs and even has his own bathroom.”
As Julius said this, he rang the bell. A short while later, a friendly older woman opened the door.
"Hello," said the nice woman who introduced herself as Markus's mother. "Hello, Mrs. Jäger, my name is Julius and this is my brother Luis. We're meeting Markus."
“Well, come in then,” and looking at me, “Are you the boy who attacked my son with two other boys in the Volkspark?”
"Yes, that's true," I said quietly, hanging my head. I didn't dare look Markus's mother in the eyes.
“Well, are you feeling better now, health-wise?”
"Yeah, it's okay. It was my own fault."
"Markus was pretty upset when you were in the hospital and didn't want to wake up from your coma. Thank God everything went well. So, go up the stairs, and straight ahead is Markus's room."
“Thank you, Ms. Jäger!”
Markus was worried about me? And those looks this morning at the bus stop. And then he helps Julius too. I'm starting to like him more and more. As soon as we got upstairs, the door opened and Sebastian stood before them.
"Oh, there you are. Hello Julius. And you must be Luis."
“Hello Sebastian, yes, I’m Luis, Julius’ brother.”
“Well then, come in. Markus is still in the bathroom.”
The room was nicely furnished. A computer, its own television, a lovely old couch, like Loriot's. Only the color was sky blue. I thought of my room, which was furnished only with cheap Swedish furniture that was long past its best. On top of that, I had to share the room with Julius. And now Markus's room. It radiated warmth. If he decorated it himself, then he has excellent taste.
“Sit down, would you like something to drink?”
“Coke?” came from both brothers.
"Come immediately."
Sebastian went down to the kitchen. The next moment, Markus came out of the shower. He came babbling into the room with only a towel around his waist.
“Damn it, I actually forgot to bring my boxer shorts.”
My eyes widened. Wow, great physique. Broad shoulders. Definitely an athlete, probably a swimmer. Julius looked over at me. Grinning, he noticed how I was staring at Markus, almost drooling. Markus bent down in front of his closet to take a pair of shorts from the bottom drawer.
“What do you think, Sebi, should I wear the black shorts?”
A moment later the door opened again
"So, here are the drinks we ordered. Oh Markus, you're already finished. You've probably already greeted your visitors."
PENG!
Markus jumped up with a start and hit his head on the top drawer. He turned around so quickly that the towel around his waist slowly came loose. I immediately felt a rush of excitement when I noticed this. I looked wide-eyed at Markus, who was standing there in the nude. In a flash, Markus held his shorts up to his cock.
“Shit, shit, shit!”
“No Markus, that’s Coke,” laughed Sebastian as he looked at the Coke glasses on the tray he was still holding.
Markus looked absolutely adorable, standing there in front of us, looking frightened. I would have loved to hug him, standing there like a frightened squirrel. Speaking of squirrels, that was something to behold, too. His expression was simply breathtaking. Markus ran to the door in a panic and almost knocked the tray out of Sebastian's hand. Julius gave me a light elbow in the ribs. He probably noticed the drooling look I was giving Markus. As I walked out, I looked at Markus again and gave him a smile and a wink.
"So, that was the show, and now it's time to cool off."
After Sebastian had distributed the drinks, he tried to make some conversation because of the silence.
“So you’re Luis, Julius’s older brother?”
I was still looking dreamily at the door through which Markus had disappeared in a state of dismay.
"Hello? Anyone home?"
As Sebastian looked at me, my brother gave me another elbow in the side.
“Hey, brother, Sebastian just asked you something.”
“Huh? What’s going on?” Julius startled me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention. It must have been a long day." I took the glass of Coke and looked at Sebastian as I drank it.
“You have a nice place here,” I said out of the blue.
“Sorry, but this is Markus Zimmer,” Sebastian then said.
“Oh, so you have your own room too?”
"Yes, of course I have my own room. But why do you ask? Uh,... Wait a minute, just to avoid any misunderstandings, I don't live here. I'm just a friend of Markus's," Sebastian quickly added. My emotions shook. I was already getting my hopes up, based on the way Markus had looked at me earlier and this morning outside the prison. So he had a boyfriend. I put my Coke glass back on the table, trembling.
"What's wrong with you, Luis? Are you not feeling well?" I tried hard to keep my composure, but I couldn't. Slowly, one tear after another rolled uncontrollably down my cheeks.
“It was a very tiring day, come on Julius, let’s go.”
“What’s going on, Luis?”
At that moment, the door opens again and Markus comes in. I quickly wiped a tear from my face and took a deep breath. Markus looked at me, confused, and then at Julius.
"What's going on? Was my performance that bad earlier?" he asked before sitting down on the chair next to Sebastian. Silence.
"So, what's going on? What about your mother?" Markus broke the tense silence. Now it was my turn to say something.
"Our mother kicked me out. I don't know where to go. Oh well, it's my own fault. It's all shit."
I stood up and went to the door.
“Where do you want to go now?” said Julius.
“Get out of here.”
“Wait a minute, Luis!” That was Markus.
He jumped up and walked over to me.
"Let's talk in peace. Come with me."
Markus pulled me behind him into the hallway.
"Tell me, what's wrong with you? A few weeks ago in the hospital, you were barking at me in such a strange way. What's that all about?"
"I... I don't know. It's a little complicated. I can't talk about it."
“Does it have anything to do with the attack on me?”
"No, not with that. I'm sorry for what I did to you. Julius told me you were mugged before. I don't know what possessed me back then. I'm really sorry."
"Why did you even participate in such raids? From what Julius told me, you cared for your siblings so lovingly. That doesn't seem to add up."
"I can't tell you. You'll hate me even more."
“Nonsense, why should I?”
We remained silent.
“What happened that made you go astray?” Markus resumed the conversation.
"It started a year ago. Thomas, a good friend of mine..."
I found it difficult to continue speaking
"So, Thomas told me he was moving to Bavaria with his family because his father had accepted a good job offer. He hadn't dared to tell me about it beforehand. I was shocked. We'd known each other since kindergarten. We went to school together. We were best friends."
I started crying again. Markus gently stroked my back.
"I think I can understand you. If Sebastian suddenly disappeared from my life, I'd be finished too."
I looked at Markus and tried to hear from his words how he felt about Sebastian. Was he just a friend, or was he THE friend?
"If you like, you can sleep here tonight. We have a guest room. I'll talk to my parents."
"Would you do that? I really wouldn't know where else to go. I was thinking about going to Peer or Dragan."
"Not that. They've manipulated you enough already."
“Julius was also excited about this possibility,” I grinned at Markus, slightly embarrassed.
"I believe that right away. He's seriously worried about you. Do him a favor and stop hanging out with your weird friends."
Markus was right, I looked down and nodded.
"You're actually a really nice guy," Markus added quickly, then turned around, blushing, to inform his parents about his plan to let me stay overnight. I went back to Markus's room, where Sebastian and Julius were laughing and talking about the latest season of >Pastewka<.
“Well, Luis, is everything sorted out?”
"Markus is asking his parents if I can stay here tonight." "Markus' parents are really great, there won't be any problems."
After a while, Markus came back into the room and said curtly, "I'll get the guest room ready," before turning to leave. Sebastian looked at me and nodded toward Markus, which I immediately understood. I got up from the couch and followed Markus into the guest room.

Sebastian
"Hey, Julius, can I ask you something personal? Please don't be mad at me, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"Just ask, if it gets too personal, I'll tell you."
"I don't know how to say this, but do you and your brother get along well?"
“Of course, we love each other, … well, … uh, … like brothers love each other, of course,” Julius grinned shyly.
"I understand, I love my little sister too, like siblings love each other. Sure. What I'm trying to say is, has your brother ever had a girlfriend?"
"No, not that I know of. Do you want to set him up with your sister?" Sebastian started laughing.
"No, no, she's only 9. No, seriously, Julius, have you ever noticed that your brother... well, maybe he's not that interested in girls?"
Julius grinned slightly to himself.
“You mean because he always looks at Markus strangely and always seems a little confused?”
“Have you noticed that too?”
"I'm not sure, but it was the same with Thomas before he moved to Bavaria. I don't know if anything was going on. But when Thomas was suddenly gone, nothing was the same. Luis became more and more withdrawn, and whenever something happened, he would quickly lose his temper. He was always so understanding, but from one day to the next, he was a different person. He was hardly ever home. After a few weeks, the police came and brought him home for the first time. He immediately hid in his room—our room, that is. I tried to talk to him, but Luis just blocked me off."
I noticed Julius fighting back tears.
“Julius, hey, you don’t have to tell anyone if it’s too close to home for you.”
"It's okay. He's recovered. I think the week in jail got him back on the right track."
Now Julius even grinned a little again.
“Markus is gay.”
Sebastian whispered more than he spoke.
"So what? I still like him. He's a really good friend. The way he always looked after me... Luis deserved someone like that. Then I wouldn't have to worry about my brother anymore."
Julius beamed at Sebastian.
"Well, ultimately, we can only wait and hope. I don't know Luis that well, but from what you always rave about him. If I were gay, which I'm not, Markus would be my dream partner. Yes, I love him, but in the way you love a brother. He's a very sensitive guy. I could literally steal the horses with him. I would even defend Markus with my life."
Now it was my turn to fight back the tears.
“I am proud to be his friend.”
Julius and Sebastian just grinned and nodded at each other.
"Where are those two, anyway? They just wanted to make up a bed. Oh, …"
They both stood up at the same time and went to the guest room. The door was ajar, and it was completely silent. Sebastian and Julius crept to the door and opened it a little. What they saw there was...

Markus
I went into the living room to my parents. They were both sitting on the couch watching a crime scene.
“Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you.”
"What's up, my son? Come sit with us."
I sat down in the chair opposite and wondered how to begin.
“I don’t know how to begin.”
"Did you do something wrong? I hope there's no trouble coming?"
Dad turned off the TV and looked questioningly at Mom.
"No, Mom, you don't have to worry. I haven't become a criminal or anything. It's... " It's now or never. I took a deep breath and "...Mom, Dad, I'm gay."
My parents just stared at me. The only sound in the living room was the ticking of the grandfather clock. Confused, I looked at my parents, who were still frozen and staring at me. Was something terribly wrong? Had I misjudged my parents? I felt tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Markus, are you sure? I mean... maybe it's just a phase. Hey, you're still in the middle of puberty, so feelings fluctuate. And many people are already experimenting with their own gender."
"No, Mom, I'm sure. This phase has been going on for a while. I thought it would pass, too. But I've never been interested in girls. I tried..."
Tears rolled down my cheeks again. Dad handed me a tissue.
"I tried it once, too, but it only happened once. It wasn't that special," whispered Markus's dad.
“Markus, if you are sure, then that is okay with us,” said Markus’ mother, looking at her husband, who nodded in agreement.
"Give us a little time to get used to it. But you should know one thing: whether you're gay or straight, you are and will always be our son. Markus, we love you. And thank you for your trust." Dad said these words with a slight smile.
"I can only agree, son. I always knew you were special."
I threw my arms around my mom and cried tears of joy. Then I hugged Dad as well, while Mom got a bottle of champagne and glasses from the cupboard. She filled the three glasses and casually asked if there was a potential son-in-law yet.
"Uh, ... I'm not sure, ... but there's someone ... I don't know, I don't know if he thinks like me, that is, ... uh ... I don't know if he's even gay, but ... I ... oh, I wish I knew, well ... "
"Markus, we've taught you how to speak, so please state clearly, there's someone there, but you don't know if he's gay too, right?"
Dad seemed a little annoyed. Mom put her hand on his arm and gave a barely noticeable nod.
"Yes, you could put it that way," I replied, relieved. Mom grinned a little as she spoke up.
“Markus, is it possible that this person is in this house right now?”
“Mom, how do you know…?”
"Shh, my dear. It's not Sebastian."
“How, how, what? You know?”
“Markus, I’m your mother!”
“Yes, it’s Luis.”
"No, that's not possible!" Dad spoke up again, very firmly. "Dad, I... I can't help it, but I fell in love with him in the hospital. Sebastian also said I was crazy, but I can't help it. I haven't told Luis yet, but I've already forgiven him. I hope he forgives me too."
I looked desperately into my champagne glass.
"You have a kind heart, my boy. Herbert, our upbringing is bearing fruit. Markus, as long as you're happy with it, we are too."
"Thank you, thank you for everything. There's something else I wanted to ask you. Luis was released from prison today and was kicked out by his mother, and now he doesn't know where to go. I thought he could sleep in the guest room for the next few days."
I looked at my parents, hoping for a positive reaction. Markus's father took a deep breath.
"Markus, it seems very important to you. We trust you, and if you're sure, we can give it a try."
Markus' mother just nodded in agreement.
“Thank you, I’m glad to have you as parents.”
Markus' eyes began to shine again, and before his tears of joy had a chance, he hugged his parents again.
“I’ll go upstairs and get the guest bed ready.”
“Do that, and Markus, if anything happens…”
"Yes, Mom, then I'll come to you right away. Okay, and thanks again." I quickly went back upstairs, looked briefly into my room, and said to the three of them:
“I’ll go and get the guest room ready.”
I turned around and left the room again.

Luis slowly came into the guest room, clearing his throat.
“Can I help you make the bed?”
“Oh Luis, um… yes, you can cover the pillow,” and threw the pillow to him.
“Here is the reference.”
“Markus, …I …I would like to apologize to you in all sincerity for the mess I’ve caused.”
Luis held the pillow in front of his torso and kneaded it nervously. I paused and slowly turned toward Luis. Then I looked him straight in the eyes, and Luis looked down at the floor.
"I'm sorry. I messed up big time, and I hope you can forgive me someday."
Tears slowly ran down Luis's cheeks and dripped onto the pillow. We stood facing each other in silence for a long time. Luis only sobbed occasionally.

“Come sit next to me.”
I had already sat down on the bed and was patting the mattress next to me. Luis looked at me and then slowly approached me, without letting go of the pillow. Again, he just sobbed as he sat down next to me, took a deep breath, and then began to speak quietly, repeatedly interrupted by sobs. I just sat there and listened to him patiently, without interrupting.
Luis told me how he and Thomas met. They became best friends, first in kindergarten and then at school. They remained friends even when Thomas later moved on to Gymnasium (high school), while Luis only managed to finish Hauptschule (secondary school). Only Thomas's parents felt this friendship was inappropriate. But that didn't interest Thomas. Luis told me about their dream of traveling the world. Luis hadn't even seen the North Sea yet. There was simply a lack of money at home, and his mother wasn't particularly interested in family activities. She mostly just sat in front of the TV, smoking, and drinking liters of coffee.
Luis hadn't enjoyed the holidays as much as everyone else. Not only because they never traveled, but also because Thomas spent most of his time with his parents. They were the most boring weeks of the year for Luis. Naturally, he spent a lot of time with his siblings because he didn't want them to suffer as much as he did.
I sensed how good Luis was at telling stories. I also sensed that this was probably the first time Luis had been able to get everything off his chest. He repeatedly kneaded the pillow in his hands. Only when he started talking about his mother again did it seem as if he were hitting the pillow or choking it.
When Luis shuddered and choked on the pillow again, I took the first step and placed my hand on Luis's. Luis calmed down immediately. He slowly raised his head and looked in my direction. I just looked at him and nodded slightly.
“Thank you,” I just whispered.
“Thanks for what?” Luis replied, slightly confused.
“That you trusted me with your story.”
A fleeting smile crossed my face.
"I must thank you for listening to me. For not hating me for attacking you, and for taking me in."
After a while of silence and with my hand still on his, he asked:
"Markus, why are you doing this for me? This isn't normal, is it?" My eyes lit up, and with a smile, I looked at the opposite wall and took a deep breath.
"No, Luis, that's not normal. But I like you."
Now Luis noticed my hand on his, but didn't pull it back as I expected.
"Luis, you haven't really had any happiness in your life yet, have you?"
"What is happiness? When you're healthy? Or when you have friends? Or when you have a roof over your head? Or parents who support you?"

“Maybe happiness is simply knowing that there is someone you like.”
"I was happy when Thomas confessed his love to me. But unfortunately, that happiness was quickly shattered when he moved to Bavaria with his family the very next day."
Luis's tears rolled down his cheeks again.
"Hey, don't cry again. Happiness isn't that far away, or in this case, sitting. Sometimes you just have to stretch out your hand a little to grab your happiness."
Luis looked at me shyly.
"Markus, I... I... you... um, I... I think I'm in love. Even though you're going to hate me now, Markus, I'd like to be your friend."
I tried to stay serious, but before my lips could form a smile, my eyes started to laugh. Inwardly, I was clenching my famous Becker fist with joy. I had hoped so much that Luis would like me back, and now this declaration of love. Now it was my turn to respond to Luis's confession.
“Luis, thank you for the kind words, but…”
Luis's face drained of color and he looked at me in shock, then sadly at the ground. He tried to pull his hand out from under mine. But I grabbed his firmly and held it tight.
"...but, could you imagine holding me in your arms?"
Luis flinched and pressed the pillow tightly to his body. He slowly turned back to me. I saw him slowly understand what I had just said.
“You… you… are also…?”
I just nodded.
Our hands, still touching each other, now began a slight struggle. Slightly trembling and sweaty, our fingers intertwined. We both looked shyly at our tangled fingers, slowly raising our heads to look each other straight in the eyes. Was it just a dream, or had we really just confessed our love to each other? When I looked him straight in the eyes, all doubt vanished.
Slowly, our faces drew closer, and I felt each other's breath on my cheeks, wet with tears of joy. I raised my free hand and tenderly wiped the tears from Luis's cheek, and our mouths met for our first kiss. I felt the other person tingling like an effervescent tablet or a New Year's Eve rocket.
Luis finally let go of the pillow and placed his now-free hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. After what seemed like an eternity, or was it just a few seconds, our mouths parted again and we gazed lovingly into each other's eyes.
"This is exactly how I've always dreamed it would be. And now my prince is sitting next to me and has kissed me awake."
I was so happy. But Luis felt the same way.
"As long as I'm not the frog in your dreams, I'm fine with it. Did I have to hurt you to understand what a wonderful person you are?" Tears welled up on Luis's face again, but this time with a broad grin. Before Luis could continue, I kissed him again. Our tongues also made themselves known, demanding entry so we could have a wrestling match. For a long time we just sat there kissing, each in each other's arms. Slowly, Luis began to send his hands on an exploratory tour of my body. I did the same.
“M ….. mmh …..Markusch … mmh”
Was Luis trying to ask me something while we were kissing?
"Hmmm…" was my only reply, a little concerned. Luis gently but firmly pushed me away from him a little, looking me in the eyes.
“Markus, what are we going to do now…?”
“Well, there!” I replied with a grin, giving him another big kiss and ruffling his hair at the same time.
"Markus, seriously. Who should we tell about us? Does any of your family or friends know that you're gay?"
“My parents and Sebastian know about me.”
"Nobody knows about me. A few days ago, I wasn't sure myself. I can't say for sure whether I was in love with Thomas. I was probably more shocked that he moved away so suddenly. Maybe I should tell Julius."
“That might already be resolved.”
"What? You mean he's noticed already?"
"I think so. He's probably happy for you."
“I’ll tell him someday, but not now.”
"Show him that you trust him, that he's important to you. He's very attached to you."
Luis now looked at me fearfully and remained silent.
"Luis, he's happy for you, believe me. Or just turn around and face the door."
As if struck by lightning, Luis turned his head. Julius and Sebastian were standing in the doorway, grinning like Cheshire cats. The moment he saw them, they both gave him a thumbs-up. Luis started crying again. They were tears of joy. He quickly jumped up from the bed, and the brothers walked toward each other and hugged each other.
"Luis, I'm so happy for you. I finally have my brother back. Just like he always was," whispered Julius.
Meanwhile, Sebastian came over and sat down next to me. I just sat there, happily watching the two brothers as they held each other tightly in their arms.
"Well, Markus, if you ever need a brother, just call me."
I grinned at Sebastian. Then I hugged him and said:
“You are the brother I always wanted.”

"What's going on here? An orgy in our house?"
My parents suddenly appeared in the room. Startled, all four of us jumped apart and stared at the intruders.

Luis
“Mom, Dad, …. “
Markus was the first to find his voice again.
“…..may I introduce you to my friend?”
As he spoke, he came over to me and Julius, took me in his arms, and then said:
"This is Luis, my friend. Luis, these two are my parents."
His parents smiled and Markus' mother just said:
"Welcome to our family," he said, coming up to me and hugging me. It was too much for me. I started crying and shaking again. Markus's mother stroked my back.
“Hey, everything’s okay, Luis.”
I thought of my mother, who never hugged me. And now Markus's mother, who simply hugged me as if it were the most natural thing in the world, casually adopting me. She simply held me tight and talked to me calmly until I slowly calmed down again.
"Thank you, Ms. Jäger. I'm sorry to cry to you here."
"Luis, my dear, you don't have to apologize for your feelings. There's a solution to every problem. And we'll support you as best we can, okay? And, Luis, to you, my name is Sabine."
"Thank you, Sabine. I appreciate your help."
"Okay, now everyone comes downstairs. I must have a bottle of that sweet sparkling water somewhere, so we'll pop it to celebrate. And for those who don't know: My name is Herbert." That was Markus' dad's contribution.

Later, after Sebastian and my brother had made their way home, slightly tipsy, Markus and I sat in the living room with Sabine and Herbert and chatted. The little bit of alcohol loosened my tongue and I told them everything about my life. It did me good. Very good, in fact. Sometimes I talked while laughing and excited, and at certain points in the story I became quieter and I sometimes teared up. Then it was Markus's turn to simply hold me in his arms, give me a kiss on the cheek, or just gently stroke my back. That helped me a lot. I also learned a few things about Markus. For example, that he likes to cook and paint beautiful pictures. I had finally arrived. Although I didn't know exactly what would happen next, with the support of Markus and his parents the future was no longer so bleak.

Epilogue
A few weeks later, Markus and Luis drove to the North Sea for a few days. Markus' parents had a caravan parked there in Bensersiel. After a long train ride, they finally arrived and immediately headed to the campsite. Markus was greeted by the campsite owner.
"Hi Markus, your parents already told you guys you're coming. I turned on the water, and my wife aired out the caravan and gave it a damp mop."
"Thank you, Hinnerk. I'll return the favor."
Together they went to the caravan.
"It's so amazing here. It makes you jealous."
“Don’t talk nonsense, come on Luis, I want to show you something.”
Markus grabbed Luis's hand and pulled him back out of the caravan. It was beautiful, sunny summer weather. As expected, a strong but not too cold wind was blowing from the sea. Markus continued on his way, and Luis could barely keep up. They ran toward the dike. Markus kept turning back to Luis as he ran.
“Come on, come on.”
At the foot of the dike, Markus stopped, took Luis's hand again, and slowly walked up the dike. Shortly before the top of the dike, Markus stopped and let Luis take the last few steps alone. What Luis saw there left him speechless. He stood on the dike and looked out to sea. The salty wind swirled through his hair. The sound of the sea sounded in his ears like a beautiful melody. The screeching seagulls seemed to greet him. Luis slowly walked down the dike, through the soft, white sand, and stopped right at the water's edge. The whole time, Luis didn't say a word. He just stared into the distance and smiled quietly to himself. Luis didn't even notice that the seawater was lapping around his shoes. He closed his eyes, tilted his head back, and breathed deeply. The whole time, Luis had a contented smile on his face. After what felt like an eternity, he felt two arms wrap around his waist and a head rest tenderly on his shoulder.
“Well, Luis, is it what you imagined?”
"No, Markus, much, much nicer. Thank you for making this dream possible."
Markus put one earbud of his MP3 player into Luis's ear and took the other one himself. Then he started the device.

When you're down in troubles
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there
Yes I will
You've got a friend

© 1971 Carole King – You've got a friend, Published by Colgems-EMI Music

Luis turned to Markus and looked into his shining eyes. Luis couldn't hold back his tears of joy any longer, gave Markus a passionate kiss, and then hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Markus, you gave me back the joy of life."

Over the next few days, the two took long walks on the beach and talked about their future. They even took a boat trip on a shrimp boat, which, when not out catching crabs in the North Sea, was showing tourists the nearby seal colonies. Luis was like a little child when he spotted the first seal. Markus was happy when Luis could be that happy.

Luis was slow to reconnect with his mother. When he told her he was gay and dating Markus, his mother immediately wanted to kick him out. But she hadn't reckoned with her boyfriend.
“Carola, if you disown your son because of this, I’ll go with you.”
He then told them that he had a brother who was also gay, and when he came out to his parents, he was kicked out.
"I loved my brother and didn't understand it. My brother no longer existed for my parents. All I know is that he moved away with his boyfriend at the time."
“And what happened to him?” asked Julius.
Dirk, Luis's mother's friend, seemed very sad and looked out the window. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the others.
"A friend of his at the time said he had emigrated to New Zealand. I never heard from him again. That's why I later broke off contact with my parents."
This confession made his mother's otherwise aloof friend a lot more likeable. Luis's mother was struck by the story and asked for time to consider it. Luis thanked Dirk and wished him a chance to find his brother again one day.

After six months, Luis's past caught up with him again. A letter from the court arrived in the mail. Markus promised to support him as best he could. However, Luis wanted to see the matter through on his own and accept the punishment he would receive in order to finally put his past behind him.
At the trial, Luis, who had already spent a week in pre-trial detention, was sentenced to only 40 hours of community service. He served his sentence at a daycare center during the school holidays. Because he enjoyed this work so much, he later completed his school internship at the same facility. From then on, his career aspiration was to become a kindergarten teacher. He wanted to protect other children and young people from the stupid things that had happened to him.

The end. Or the beginning of life.