07-12-2025, 01:59 PM
"...Hello sun worshippers, today it's going to be up to 35°C again in the Ruhr area, so let's get out there by the water, and to all the students... HAPPY SUMMER HOLIDAYS...this is Radio NRW, your start to the day."
What sun...water...that would be nice, but to my great chagrin, the assembled parents' front has condemned me to a job. "Son, if you want a car, you'll have to work for it. Be glad we're paying for your driver's license," roared the male part of the front when I only timidly mentioned that I wanted a cute little vehicle for my 18th birthday.
Okay, they were partly right, but working all summer in Grandpa Wuttke's dusty junk shop while all your friends are on vacation somewhere in the world? Life is so unfair!
Enough self-pity for today. I can't buy my dream car with that. I still need to earn five hundred euros, and then the little one will finally be mine... Ever since I saw it at the used car dealer, I've been in love. Dark blue metallic, two doors, open roof... my beautiful VW 1 Series Cabriolet, my little strawberry basket.
"Alex, calm down, you don't want to be late for old Wuttke's on the first day," I was rudely torn from my dreams. My mother simply had a knack for tearing me out of my dreams.
I still remember when I was 14 and discovered that the thing between my legs could do more than just pee. From then on, I was one of the most active self-pleasure enthusiasts this side of the Rhine, until the day my mother walked into my room without knocking and interrupted me during my creative phase. HOW EMBARRASSING! Since then, I've had a lock on the door, and my mother has lost all interest in visiting me in my room.
“ALEX, if you don’t come down right now, I’m going to have to deal with it. I won’t call you again.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m already on my way, can’t you be a little more considerate if I have to get up in the middle of the night?” I mumbled into my nonexistent beard.
“Young man, when I was your age… For your convenience, I’m going to skip the half-hour speech on “Back in the day – the myth of parents in their youth,” and besides, I think everyone knows the most common sayings.
My goodness, my ears are buzzing, this is psychological warfare, seriously, my mom at war, and the enemy throws in the towel after five minutes at the most. Just get out of here quickly before she's warmed up.
Phew, it's really warm today, actually the perfect weather to laze around by some lake and do nothing. Actually...
THE GET TO KNOW
“Good morning Mr. Wuttke, Alex Werner reporting for duty.”
"Alex, it's great that you're here. I've been waiting for you," said the short, stocky Mr. Wuttke, behind his slightly oversized wire-rimmed glasses. Somehow, he always reminded me of one of those garden gnomes that stands in my grandma's front yard. "But you can save yourself the Mr. Wuttke thing. We're working together for a few weeks now, so you can call me Fritz. By the way, Conny is already waiting outside to show you everything. I have to keep taking care of this clock. It just won't run."
Conny? Who the hell is Conny? I thought I was the only victim of the summer job system. Still pondering, I stepped out of the shop into the large backyard and stopped dead in my tracks.
Wow, what an ass I'm seeing in tight denim shorts! I've found my dream woman, at least if the rest of that ass fits too.
The owner of this magnificent piece seems to have noticed my staring and turns to me, ready to give me another shock. A boy??? I seriously stared at a boy's butt and found it beautiful? No, no... that was only because I thought it was a girl. Yes, that was exactly it.
"Hi, I'm Conny. You must be Alex, Grandpa has told me a lot about you," said the boy while I stared at him, still completely dazed.
"Um...um...I, yes, I'm Alex!" I'm such a gifted entertainer. Conny probably thinks I'm crazy, and so does his grandpa. Wait, his grandpa?
“Uh, sorry Conny, I’m not really awake yet,” phew, just saved, “but tell me, who do you mean by grandpa?”
"Oh, no problem, and you couldn't possibly know about Grandpa. Mr. Wuttke is my grandpa, and I promised to help him out during the holidays so he could get some rest. Besides, there's nothing keeping me at home anyway." What's that shadow passing across his face? Someone seems to be having problems. Psychologist Alex Werner is called in.
“Well then, welcome to Essen, I hope you like it here and if you want to chat or need someone to show you the city, feel free to give me a call.”
"Thanks, Alex, I'll definitely get back to that, but for now, let's get started. If you'd like, you can help me sort this dishware. Grandpa wants to display it in the shop window, and for that, it has to be complete and undamaged."
THE PRONUNCIATION WITH TOM
"That took a while." It took us a good three hours to sort through the dishes and check for broken pieces. During that time, I had a very lively conversation with Conny, even though he didn't bring up the subject at home. But at least I learned a little more about him. He was 17, went to high school in a small town in Lower Saxony, liked swimming and skating, and listened to rock music. If he were a girl, I would have asked him out immediately. Blonde curly hair, big brown eyes, a cute button nose, and a pouty mouth that makes you want to kiss. Wait, what am I talking about? Did I seriously say "cute," well, like I said, if he were a girl.
"Yes, finally finished for today, it took long enough. You, Alex? I was really happy to meet you. You're really nice and I'm looking forward to working with you." Why is Conny blushing so much while he's saying that? Or am I just imagining it?
"I'm having fun with you too, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'll be on my way; I have soccer practice soon. See you then." I waved to Conny and headed off to training. Training during the summer holidays is great; almost everyone on the team is on vacation, and there's no real training. We just sit together, drink beer, and talk about girls.
"Hey Alex, how are things going?" Max yelled at me. He was the absolute ladies' man in our team and had a new girl on the team every weekend. "How are you enjoying your work? Have you met a nice girl yet?"
"Hey Max, there's really not much going on with girls in this store, but I met old Wuttke's grandson. He works with me and seems like a really nice guy."
“Do you mean Conny the old faggot?”
"What do you mean?"
"Hey Alex, don't tell me you haven't gotten it yet, man, that guy is gay. That's why he's with his grandpa. His father first beat him to a pulp and then kicked him out of the house when Conny told his parents." Man, Max was really better than any tabloid, but I can't imagine Conny being gay, for the life of me.
“Are you sure, Max, aren’t these just stupid sayings?”
"Alex, I swear on my dick, it'll fall off if I'm lying. Well, I guess you had to find something new to work for!"
"Max, you old ass, do you think I'm no longer working at Wuttke's just because I know Conny's gay? I think Conny's a nice guy, and besides, being gay isn't contagious. I honestly never would have thought you were a homophobe." I was starting to get really worked up.
"Wow, slow down. I have absolutely nothing against gays. First of all, as you know, my cousin Jens is gay too, and secondly, who made those stupid, hurtful remarks when Tom came out to the team? All I'm saying is, assholes get AIDS, cocksuckers should be gassed. Well, it definitely wasn't me."
I had completely forgotten about that. I was really mean to Tom back then, even though he'd been my best friend since kindergarten. Actually, I didn't have anything against gay people; it was more because Tom didn't trust me and, as his best friend, told me first. I found out like everyone else, during a training session. Since then, something had broken between Tom and me, and we only saw each other at training.
He was still on the team because no one, except me, was bothered by Tom's sexual orientation.
"Sorry Max, I should have known better about you. I'm really sorry I snapped at you like that."
"No problem, but I think it's time you and Tom started getting along. Hey, kid, you've been best friends since kindergarten. Oh, speak of the devil, hello, Tom. Sorry guys, I have to go. I have a date with Kati. See you later!" and he was gone.
Great, now I'm standing here in front of Tom and I don't know what to say. Could the ground please open up and swallow me? Shit, every time you need a miracle, there isn't one. Tom looks at me sadly; I think he's still really hurt. Well, considering the way I hit him, it's no wonder. Where does he want to go now? Hey, I'm just trying to crawl over to the cross, and the bird turns around and leaves.
“Hey Tom, wait, I want to talk to you.” Cool, my mouth seems to have found its voice again.
"Alex, what do you want? Haven't you hurt me enough already? Or have you thought of some new nasty things you want to say to me? So what do you want?" Shit, Tom is really hurt.
"Tom, I'm sorry, I was an asshole and I apologize for that. I have nothing against you, but I was so disappointed that you didn't tell me sooner that you were into boys."
"Do you think it was easy for me to find out I was gay? You were my best friend, and I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to lose you. It took so much courage to tell all of you, but for you to react like that? You really hurt me. I only ever wanted to be your best friend."
"I want to be your best friend too. Maybe we can get back together. What do you think? Can we try again?"
"But only if you never say something like that again. If you ever do again... then that's the end of our friendship."
Oh man, I'm really glad to have my best friend back. I think I have to thank Conny for that, because if Max hadn't told me he was gay, I wouldn't have made up with Tom so quickly.
CONVERSATION WITH CONNY
“Good morning Alex, I hope you had fun training yesterday,” Conny grinned at me as I rode up to the junk shop on my bike.
Does the boy have a beautiful face? What? No, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, yeah, thanks, it was pretty good. I talked to my best friend again. We had a falling out last year, but now everything's fine."
"I'm so happy for you. Why were you arguing?" Now that's what I call the perfect opportunity to confront Conny about his homosexuality. Brainwave!!! Maybe I can even play Cupid and set him and Tom up. As a best friend, you help out wherever you can.
"Well, when Tom told me and the crew that he was gay, I probably overreacted a bit and said some not-so-nice things to him. But just because he didn't trust me has nothing to do with him being gay. I have no problem with that at all."
"Oh," Conny said, and just stared at me with his big, round brown eyes. God, how sweet. Hello, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, I actually wanted to wait until you told me yourself, but is it possible that you're into boys too? Max, a friend of mine, said something like that."
"I... I... *sniff* yes, it's true, I didn't want to tell anyone. Every time I did it, I got beaten up or everyone turned away from me... It's not my fault..." He stood in front of me, crying, and all I could do was take him in my arms and comfort him. Little by little, he calmed down, but I was getting more and more agitated. My emotions were going crazy; it was a wonderful feeling to hold him in my arms. This warmth. It's probably just because I felt so sorry for him and he awakens my protective instincts. That's exactly what it must be.
"It's okay, little one. I'm here for you. Hey, I have a great idea. To take your mind off things, we can go to the lake later. What do you think?"
“Oh yes, I’d love to,” and Conny’s face brightened again.
"If it's okay, I'll ask Tom to come with me. I think he could use some distraction right now."
"Of course, no problem. With more people, it's more fun," said Conny, running into the house to get his swimsuit. Afterward, we drove past my place; we were supposed to meet Tom at the lake.
AM SEE
“Come on Alex, hurry up, I want to get in the water.”
“Yeah, I’ll do it, but maybe we should find a spot first and then get out of our clothes, or do you want to go swimming in full gear?”
“Alex, Alex, I’m here, come over, I’ve already secured us a spot,” Tom called to us from the other end of the lawn.
After Tom and Conny had introduced themselves— oh, that's working out well, next dream couple —we set about spreading out our blankets. Conny couldn't wait and was desperate to get in the water as quickly as possible. While I was still laying out my things, he started to undress. Beneath his loose T-shirt, a very well-defined torso was visible, barely hairy, with slightly tanned and, by the looks of things, velvety-soft skin. A narrow band of hair ran below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his swim shorts. I must have stared at him for what felt like ten minutes while he changed, because when Tom suddenly spoke to me, I jerked out of my trance.
"Hey Alex, are you there? I asked if you wanted to come in the water?"
"Yes... I'll be right there, go ahead." What the hell was that, why was I staring at Conny like that? I'm really glad Tom didn't seem to notice. I know why I like wearing sunglasses. I stay sitting for a while while the other two have fun in the water. Maybe they're really getting closer, and Cupid Alex has fulfilled his mission.
“That was fun,” Conny and Tom beamed at me as they came out of the water, cold and wet, after an hour.
"Alex, could you please put some cream on my back? I can't reach it very easily, and Tom wanted to quickly stop by the kiosk and buy some ice cream."
Was I dreaming again? When did Tom go to the kiosk? This definitely has to stop.
"What? Sure, turn around and I'll put some cream on you."
“Thanks, but don’t forget anything, otherwise I’ll have sunburn tomorrow and you’ll have to work alone at Grandpa’s.”
"That might suit you. I won't miss a single spot, don't worry. I think you're in good hands with me."
I generously spread sunscreen on Conny's back and began to rub it in. I was right, by the way, her skin was velvety soft. Conny seemed to like it, because he was purring like a kitten, while hot and cold shivers ran through my body. Oh man, this is definitely not leaving me cold. I'm not gay at all. It's about time I got a girl again. It's probably just withdrawal symptoms.
“Okay, little one, done, no one missed a spot, so the sunburn excuse won’t work tomorrow.”
"Hey, you two, did you miss me? I brought you some ice cream," Tom interrupted the silence that had spread between Conny and me.
“I hope you brought me some ice cream, otherwise I won’t like you anymore,” grinned Conny.
"Well, I'm lucky I thought of that. I can't risk you not liking me anymore," Tom smiled back.
I think something is brewing, but where does this sudden pulling sensation in my stomach come from?
"Hey Alex, before I forget, there's a party at Max's on Saturday. He forgot to tell you at practice. You're invited too, Conny. So what do you think? Drink, dance, party?"
"But I'm so old. It's about time Max threw one of his legendary parties again." Ladies, Alex is on the block, and I'm going to get one of you on Saturday.
“Conny, will you come too if I ask nicely?”
"Of course, Tom, who can say no to that look? Oh crap, it's so late already. Sorry guys, I have to go, see you on Saturday. Oh yeah, Alex, I'm at my aunt's from tomorrow until Saturday, so you'll have to do all the work yourself. See you then." And Conny was off and away. This lousy little toad leaves me toiling all alone? Just wait, revenge is blood sausage.
“Hey Alex, do you know if Conny has a boyfriend?”
"Does that mean you know he's gay?"
"Yeah, he told me while we were swimming. He's such a sweet guy."
"Yes, that's him... Uh, I mean, he's really nice. And no, as far as I know, he doesn't have a boyfriend." Just got the hang of it.
"Oh, I see...", why is Tom looking at me so strangely now? What did I say? "Well, then I can try my luck. I really like him."
"Yes, do it. I wish you good luck and hope it works out. I have to go now, see you on Saturday." Now just get out of here quickly before he keeps looking at me strangely. What's wrong with Tom?
PARTY
"Hello, handsome, are you here all alone?" I'm standing in front of the bathroom mirror, getting ready for the party, and I really like my reflection. Light blue eyes that look at me with a friendly, alert expression. My chin-length, tousled brown hair looks like I just got out of bed, but that's exactly the look I like, and I think my body is pretty impressive, too. I'm 6'3", broad shoulders, slightly tanned from spending the last few days at the lake, and, as my mother would say, not an ounce of excess fat on my body.
I think I can work with that and the ladies will definitely respond to me today.
In my room, I stand in front of my closet for what feels like five hours before I decide on the faded, skinny jeans and the tight-fitting black shirt. Hey, man, you have to work on your looks to get the ladies' attention. Now I just put on the leather bracelet, put on the Chucks, and off I go to Tom's. I promised I'd pick him up. Conny is coming straight from the train station to the party.
“Wow Alex, if you weren’t my best friend, I’d hit on you no matter what.” Tom looked at me benevolently as I stood in front of his door to pick him up.
“Thank you, then I hope the ladies like it too and I don’t have to go home alone tonight.” I wink at him.
When we arrive at Max's, we have to make ourselves heard loudly, as the party is already in full swing and no one seems to hear the bell. Considering so many people are on vacation, the party is really well attended.
Tom and I squeeze through to the bar and grab a beer. We get a good overview at the bar. Max is surrounded by girls, as always. I think I'll join him. Maybe there'll be one left for me. Tom prefers to stay at the bar and wait for Conny, as he's not yet familiar with Tom's words.
“Hey Max, nice party...” I shout in his ear, as the noise level isn’t exactly low.
"Alex, nice to see you. Are Tom and Conny here yet?"
“Tom is at the bar in the back, and Conny wanted to come here directly from the train station, but hasn’t shown up yet.”
“Alex, by the way, this is Kati, my girlfriend.”
"Hey Alex, nice to meet you after all this time," she smiled at me. You have to give Max credit for one thing: he has good taste. With her shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes, and great figure, Kati is truly a feast for the eyes.
“What do you mean after all this time?” I look at Max, confused.
Max replied bright red, "Well, even though you all always thought I was the big womanizer, that's not true. I've been with Kati for two years and I don't want any other woman." Love must be beautiful, the way the two of them look at each other.
"You've been with her for two years and I've never seen her with you. How can that be?" Now I want to know exactly.
"Well, I've been living with my parents in London for the past few years, where I met Max two years ago. A month ago, we returned to Germany because my father took on a new job, and we can finally be together every day, without Skype or phone calls," Kati beams at me.
"Two years of a long-distance relationship? That's tough, but I'm happy that you can finally be together for real. I want that too. Maybe I'll find the right one yet."
Meanwhile, the party is in full swing, and I've already got a nice girl on the hook. Her name is Ute and she's from Dortmund. Well, nobody's perfect ;-)
We're dancing tightly embraced to Tainted Love when I notice something out of the corner of my eye.
When I turn around, I'm almost shocked. Conny. How can someone be so beautiful? Beautiful? Yes, beautiful! He's wearing tight black leather pants and a white RAMONES shirt, his hair tousled, and black eyeliner around his eyes.
Ute seems to notice my distraction, as she tries to make herself heard loudly. "Hey Alex, who is he? Why are you staring at that guy like that? Are you gay or something?"
"What, like gay? No, that's a friend of mine I've been waiting for."
"Oh, and that's why you're looking at him like you want to have sex with him right here? Yeah, right. I guess I'm out of place here until sometime." And Ute rushes off.
I don't think any more kissing will be great today. How does that bitch even come to the conclusion that I'm gay and that I like Conny? What nonsense. Oh. Tom noticed Conny too and greeted him. WHAT... With a kiss on the mouth? I feel sick, I need some fresh air.
"Hey Alex, wait a minute. Are you okay? Why are you so pale?" Conny runs after me. "Aren't you talking to me anymore?"
"Hey Conny, sorry, I'm just feeling a little sick. Maybe I drank the wrong thing."
"Wasn't it perhaps because you saw me kiss Tom on the mouth as a greeting? That's what we do when we're friends."
"And why don't you do that to me?" I blurt out. Dear brain, please get back to work.
"Oh Alex, you're not gay, so why would I do that? To let you punch me in the face?"
“Who says I react like that?”
"Okay, if that's the case," and Conny's lips were already on mine. If anyone had asked me, I would have sworn we stood there like that for hours.
“Are you satisfied now? You’ve also received your welcoming kiss.” Conny stands in front of me, blushing.
"Huh, yeah, I got a welcome kiss. Thanks." What nonsense am I talking about? My brain seems to have completely gone. A desperate search for the missing brain is underway. Any police station will accept relevant information.
“Alex, are you okay?”
"Yeah, I just have to go home. I forgot I have to leave early tomorrow. Bye, Conny, please tell the others see you soon." Just get out of here before this gets even more awkward.
KNOWLEDGE
I've been lying in bed for two hours now, wondering what's wrong.
Why does Conny confuse me so much? Even when I first met him. Why do I call him sweet and handsome? Why does his touch trigger such strange feelings in me? And then the kiss.
"Hey, honey, why are you home already? I thought you were at Max's party." My mother stands in the doorway in her nightgown and looks at me worriedly. Since when has she been coming into my room again?
“Hey Mum. Yes, I went to the party but then I didn’t feel like going anymore.”
"What's wrong, my boy? You're so pale?"
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, my dear.”
"Well, um, I don't know how to say this. I met someone who totally confuses me. When I see Conny, I feel hot and cold, and today at the party, we kissed hello. It was an indescribable feeling." Oh God, how embarrassing. I'm almost 18 and I'm talking to my mom about feelings.
"Hmmm, that definitely sounds like my son is in love for the first time. It's about time."
"Do you think so?" I'm in love with Conny, but he's a boy. Am I gay now? That can't be true, that's not right. Great, now I'm going to start crying IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER.
"Hey, my darling, there's nothing wrong with being in love. When I think about how it all started with your father, it warms my heart again. And you shouldn't be sad. Love is a wonderful thing."
“But…but *sniff*”
“Nothing but, and I’m looking forward to things working out with Conny and you introducing him to me soon.”
"What where from... I mean..."
"What do you think, your mother lives in a tree? My boy, I've known you for almost 18 years now. You've only had casual acquaintances in recent years, and since you started working for Mr. Wuttke, you've been a different person. So I put two and two together, and I also know that Mr. Wuttke has a lovely grandson named Conny."
“But aren’t you angry or disappointed in me?”
"Alex, your father and I love you just the way you are. You are and will always be our son. I couldn't imagine a better child. And what makes you happy makes us happy too. Do you hear?"
“Exactly, my son... listen to your mother.” I hadn’t even noticed that my father had come into the room.
"I love you," I sniffed to myself. I'm so lucky to have a family.
“Then try to get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.”
REVELATION
“Good morning, my darling, how did you sleep?” Mom was already clattering in the kitchen.
"It's like this. I kept thinking about being gay and how to tell Conny that I'm in love with him."
“Maybe Tom can help you with that, after all, he’s gay too,” my father said between his newspaper.
"I don't think that's going to work, since I tried to set them up and it seems I was successful."
“But why are you doing this if you’re in love with Conny?”
"Oh, Mom, I didn't want to believe it, and I think that's why I did it. What should I do?"
“Talk to Conny again, maybe there’s still a chance, and now off to work, it’s already past 9.”
"Hello Alex, it's great that you're here. We have so much to do today, especially now that Conny isn't here anymore." Old Wuttke greets me at the door to his shop.
"Good morning... what do you mean Conny's gone? I met him yesterday at Max's party."
"Yes, I know that. He came home yesterday after the party and started packing his things. I don't know why, he just said he couldn't stay here anymore and that he'd made a big mistake. Do you know what he means? Alex, why are you crying?"
"Fritz, I... well, I do." Oh God, that's difficult. "Okay. I've fallen in love with your grandson, and yesterday at the party, he kissed me and I guess I misunderstood my reaction. I mean, I didn't realize it until after the party, and I guess I offended him a bit with my reaction to the kiss."
"Aha. Yes, but my boy, why are you still here then? Go on, find my grandson and tell him how you feel about him. Come on, ZZ, or do I have to threaten you with a beating first?" Old Wuttke beamed from ear to ear.
"Aren't you angry? After all, your grandson is gay..."
"Oh, I'm not interested in that sort of thing. Gay, lesbian, straight... The main thing is that he's happy. It's bad enough that my son-in-law is such a hick and keeps my daughter loyal to her husband. God knows I didn't raise her that way. Conny has really been through enough with the two of them. And she deserves better than parents like that. I, for one, am very proud of my grandson, no matter who he loves."
"Thanks Fritz, that gives me courage. Do you have any idea where I can find Conny?"
"I have a vague idea. Do you know the old fishing hut by the lake, where the mossy jetty goes into the water? I used to go there with Conny when he was little; he loves that spot. Maybe you'll find him there. And Alex... bring my grandson back to me safely." This serious yet sad expression on Fritz's face is new to me, but I take his words seriously as I give him my word with a silent nod.
CONFUSION
Conny, please be at the fishing hut. I'm riding my bike so fast through the streets that some grandmas have to leap into the bushes to avoid being run over, but I can't afford to worry about that now. I have to get to him as quickly as possible before it's too late. I arrive at the hut completely out of breath; I've never made the trip to the lake so quickly. But no matter, the first thing to do now is find Conny.
I stop in front of the door and gather all my courage. I quietly open the door and stand rooted to the spot. I see Tom and Conny locked in a passionate kiss, and something inside me breaks. They don't seem to have noticed me yet when I clear my throat. Their heads jerk apart, and Conny stares at me with wide, shocked eyes.
"Uh, I didn't want to bother you. I was just looking for Conny because I wanted to talk to him, but apparently that's not the case. So good luck to you both, and see you later." Shit, I can't hold back the tears anymore. I have to get out of here. I'm such a complete idiot. Why did I have to try to set these two up?
"Alex, you stay here and talk. I have something else planned anyway." Tom had gotten up and was heading for the door. "I hope you can sort this out between you. Oh, and Alex, things aren't always what they seem at first glance."
Tom is gone, and Conny is still sitting on the couch like a miserable heap, but I'm no better. Somehow I manage to move my legs *ha ha move, legs* to walk to the couch and sit down next to Conny. Still, no one says a word.
"Alex, I... So, what you just saw, Tom just wanted to comfort me, we're not a couple."
The way Conny looks at me sadly when she says these words breaks my heart.
"But you'd like to be with him? You'd make a lovely couple." How did I manage to say two coherent sentences without breaking down?
“No, Tom and I will never be a couple because I love someone else.”
What was that? Conny loves someone else? Definitely from his home country, and he wanted to return to him. All my hopes for a future together are dashed, but at least I can still apologize to Conny.
"Conny, I'm glad you have someone you love, honestly! I'm actually just here to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I wanted you to kiss me, but then I was suddenly so overwhelmed that I didn't know what to do." Why do I have to start crying now? "I know I hurt you a lot with that, I didn't mean to. Last night at home, I finally admitted to myself that I feel more for you. I know it's too late, but Conny, I..."
"What are you saying? You have feelings for me. Alex, I... oh man... You're the other one. I've loved you since we first met. But I thought I had no chance with you, so I wanted to leave."
Did I just understand that Conny loves me too? I don't know whether to laugh or cry (with joy). But I do know one thing: I'll never give this boy away, and as he lies in my arms and we kiss tenderly, I think to myself, life isn't so unfair after all.
The End?
What sun...water...that would be nice, but to my great chagrin, the assembled parents' front has condemned me to a job. "Son, if you want a car, you'll have to work for it. Be glad we're paying for your driver's license," roared the male part of the front when I only timidly mentioned that I wanted a cute little vehicle for my 18th birthday.
Okay, they were partly right, but working all summer in Grandpa Wuttke's dusty junk shop while all your friends are on vacation somewhere in the world? Life is so unfair!
Enough self-pity for today. I can't buy my dream car with that. I still need to earn five hundred euros, and then the little one will finally be mine... Ever since I saw it at the used car dealer, I've been in love. Dark blue metallic, two doors, open roof... my beautiful VW 1 Series Cabriolet, my little strawberry basket.
"Alex, calm down, you don't want to be late for old Wuttke's on the first day," I was rudely torn from my dreams. My mother simply had a knack for tearing me out of my dreams.
I still remember when I was 14 and discovered that the thing between my legs could do more than just pee. From then on, I was one of the most active self-pleasure enthusiasts this side of the Rhine, until the day my mother walked into my room without knocking and interrupted me during my creative phase. HOW EMBARRASSING! Since then, I've had a lock on the door, and my mother has lost all interest in visiting me in my room.
“ALEX, if you don’t come down right now, I’m going to have to deal with it. I won’t call you again.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m already on my way, can’t you be a little more considerate if I have to get up in the middle of the night?” I mumbled into my nonexistent beard.
“Young man, when I was your age… For your convenience, I’m going to skip the half-hour speech on “Back in the day – the myth of parents in their youth,” and besides, I think everyone knows the most common sayings.
My goodness, my ears are buzzing, this is psychological warfare, seriously, my mom at war, and the enemy throws in the towel after five minutes at the most. Just get out of here quickly before she's warmed up.
Phew, it's really warm today, actually the perfect weather to laze around by some lake and do nothing. Actually...
THE GET TO KNOW
“Good morning Mr. Wuttke, Alex Werner reporting for duty.”
"Alex, it's great that you're here. I've been waiting for you," said the short, stocky Mr. Wuttke, behind his slightly oversized wire-rimmed glasses. Somehow, he always reminded me of one of those garden gnomes that stands in my grandma's front yard. "But you can save yourself the Mr. Wuttke thing. We're working together for a few weeks now, so you can call me Fritz. By the way, Conny is already waiting outside to show you everything. I have to keep taking care of this clock. It just won't run."
Conny? Who the hell is Conny? I thought I was the only victim of the summer job system. Still pondering, I stepped out of the shop into the large backyard and stopped dead in my tracks.
Wow, what an ass I'm seeing in tight denim shorts! I've found my dream woman, at least if the rest of that ass fits too.
The owner of this magnificent piece seems to have noticed my staring and turns to me, ready to give me another shock. A boy??? I seriously stared at a boy's butt and found it beautiful? No, no... that was only because I thought it was a girl. Yes, that was exactly it.
"Hi, I'm Conny. You must be Alex, Grandpa has told me a lot about you," said the boy while I stared at him, still completely dazed.
"Um...um...I, yes, I'm Alex!" I'm such a gifted entertainer. Conny probably thinks I'm crazy, and so does his grandpa. Wait, his grandpa?
“Uh, sorry Conny, I’m not really awake yet,” phew, just saved, “but tell me, who do you mean by grandpa?”
"Oh, no problem, and you couldn't possibly know about Grandpa. Mr. Wuttke is my grandpa, and I promised to help him out during the holidays so he could get some rest. Besides, there's nothing keeping me at home anyway." What's that shadow passing across his face? Someone seems to be having problems. Psychologist Alex Werner is called in.
“Well then, welcome to Essen, I hope you like it here and if you want to chat or need someone to show you the city, feel free to give me a call.”
"Thanks, Alex, I'll definitely get back to that, but for now, let's get started. If you'd like, you can help me sort this dishware. Grandpa wants to display it in the shop window, and for that, it has to be complete and undamaged."
THE PRONUNCIATION WITH TOM
"That took a while." It took us a good three hours to sort through the dishes and check for broken pieces. During that time, I had a very lively conversation with Conny, even though he didn't bring up the subject at home. But at least I learned a little more about him. He was 17, went to high school in a small town in Lower Saxony, liked swimming and skating, and listened to rock music. If he were a girl, I would have asked him out immediately. Blonde curly hair, big brown eyes, a cute button nose, and a pouty mouth that makes you want to kiss. Wait, what am I talking about? Did I seriously say "cute," well, like I said, if he were a girl.
"Yes, finally finished for today, it took long enough. You, Alex? I was really happy to meet you. You're really nice and I'm looking forward to working with you." Why is Conny blushing so much while he's saying that? Or am I just imagining it?
"I'm having fun with you too, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'll be on my way; I have soccer practice soon. See you then." I waved to Conny and headed off to training. Training during the summer holidays is great; almost everyone on the team is on vacation, and there's no real training. We just sit together, drink beer, and talk about girls.
"Hey Alex, how are things going?" Max yelled at me. He was the absolute ladies' man in our team and had a new girl on the team every weekend. "How are you enjoying your work? Have you met a nice girl yet?"
"Hey Max, there's really not much going on with girls in this store, but I met old Wuttke's grandson. He works with me and seems like a really nice guy."
“Do you mean Conny the old faggot?”
"What do you mean?"
"Hey Alex, don't tell me you haven't gotten it yet, man, that guy is gay. That's why he's with his grandpa. His father first beat him to a pulp and then kicked him out of the house when Conny told his parents." Man, Max was really better than any tabloid, but I can't imagine Conny being gay, for the life of me.
“Are you sure, Max, aren’t these just stupid sayings?”
"Alex, I swear on my dick, it'll fall off if I'm lying. Well, I guess you had to find something new to work for!"
"Max, you old ass, do you think I'm no longer working at Wuttke's just because I know Conny's gay? I think Conny's a nice guy, and besides, being gay isn't contagious. I honestly never would have thought you were a homophobe." I was starting to get really worked up.
"Wow, slow down. I have absolutely nothing against gays. First of all, as you know, my cousin Jens is gay too, and secondly, who made those stupid, hurtful remarks when Tom came out to the team? All I'm saying is, assholes get AIDS, cocksuckers should be gassed. Well, it definitely wasn't me."
I had completely forgotten about that. I was really mean to Tom back then, even though he'd been my best friend since kindergarten. Actually, I didn't have anything against gay people; it was more because Tom didn't trust me and, as his best friend, told me first. I found out like everyone else, during a training session. Since then, something had broken between Tom and me, and we only saw each other at training.
He was still on the team because no one, except me, was bothered by Tom's sexual orientation.
"Sorry Max, I should have known better about you. I'm really sorry I snapped at you like that."
"No problem, but I think it's time you and Tom started getting along. Hey, kid, you've been best friends since kindergarten. Oh, speak of the devil, hello, Tom. Sorry guys, I have to go. I have a date with Kati. See you later!" and he was gone.
Great, now I'm standing here in front of Tom and I don't know what to say. Could the ground please open up and swallow me? Shit, every time you need a miracle, there isn't one. Tom looks at me sadly; I think he's still really hurt. Well, considering the way I hit him, it's no wonder. Where does he want to go now? Hey, I'm just trying to crawl over to the cross, and the bird turns around and leaves.
“Hey Tom, wait, I want to talk to you.” Cool, my mouth seems to have found its voice again.
"Alex, what do you want? Haven't you hurt me enough already? Or have you thought of some new nasty things you want to say to me? So what do you want?" Shit, Tom is really hurt.
"Tom, I'm sorry, I was an asshole and I apologize for that. I have nothing against you, but I was so disappointed that you didn't tell me sooner that you were into boys."
"Do you think it was easy for me to find out I was gay? You were my best friend, and I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to lose you. It took so much courage to tell all of you, but for you to react like that? You really hurt me. I only ever wanted to be your best friend."
"I want to be your best friend too. Maybe we can get back together. What do you think? Can we try again?"
"But only if you never say something like that again. If you ever do again... then that's the end of our friendship."
Oh man, I'm really glad to have my best friend back. I think I have to thank Conny for that, because if Max hadn't told me he was gay, I wouldn't have made up with Tom so quickly.
CONVERSATION WITH CONNY
“Good morning Alex, I hope you had fun training yesterday,” Conny grinned at me as I rode up to the junk shop on my bike.
Does the boy have a beautiful face? What? No, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, yeah, thanks, it was pretty good. I talked to my best friend again. We had a falling out last year, but now everything's fine."
"I'm so happy for you. Why were you arguing?" Now that's what I call the perfect opportunity to confront Conny about his homosexuality. Brainwave!!! Maybe I can even play Cupid and set him and Tom up. As a best friend, you help out wherever you can.
"Well, when Tom told me and the crew that he was gay, I probably overreacted a bit and said some not-so-nice things to him. But just because he didn't trust me has nothing to do with him being gay. I have no problem with that at all."
"Oh," Conny said, and just stared at me with his big, round brown eyes. God, how sweet. Hello, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, I actually wanted to wait until you told me yourself, but is it possible that you're into boys too? Max, a friend of mine, said something like that."
"I... I... *sniff* yes, it's true, I didn't want to tell anyone. Every time I did it, I got beaten up or everyone turned away from me... It's not my fault..." He stood in front of me, crying, and all I could do was take him in my arms and comfort him. Little by little, he calmed down, but I was getting more and more agitated. My emotions were going crazy; it was a wonderful feeling to hold him in my arms. This warmth. It's probably just because I felt so sorry for him and he awakens my protective instincts. That's exactly what it must be.
"It's okay, little one. I'm here for you. Hey, I have a great idea. To take your mind off things, we can go to the lake later. What do you think?"
“Oh yes, I’d love to,” and Conny’s face brightened again.
"If it's okay, I'll ask Tom to come with me. I think he could use some distraction right now."
"Of course, no problem. With more people, it's more fun," said Conny, running into the house to get his swimsuit. Afterward, we drove past my place; we were supposed to meet Tom at the lake.
AM SEE
“Come on Alex, hurry up, I want to get in the water.”
“Yeah, I’ll do it, but maybe we should find a spot first and then get out of our clothes, or do you want to go swimming in full gear?”
“Alex, Alex, I’m here, come over, I’ve already secured us a spot,” Tom called to us from the other end of the lawn.
After Tom and Conny had introduced themselves— oh, that's working out well, next dream couple —we set about spreading out our blankets. Conny couldn't wait and was desperate to get in the water as quickly as possible. While I was still laying out my things, he started to undress. Beneath his loose T-shirt, a very well-defined torso was visible, barely hairy, with slightly tanned and, by the looks of things, velvety-soft skin. A narrow band of hair ran below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his swim shorts. I must have stared at him for what felt like ten minutes while he changed, because when Tom suddenly spoke to me, I jerked out of my trance.
"Hey Alex, are you there? I asked if you wanted to come in the water?"
"Yes... I'll be right there, go ahead." What the hell was that, why was I staring at Conny like that? I'm really glad Tom didn't seem to notice. I know why I like wearing sunglasses. I stay sitting for a while while the other two have fun in the water. Maybe they're really getting closer, and Cupid Alex has fulfilled his mission.
“That was fun,” Conny and Tom beamed at me as they came out of the water, cold and wet, after an hour.
"Alex, could you please put some cream on my back? I can't reach it very easily, and Tom wanted to quickly stop by the kiosk and buy some ice cream."
Was I dreaming again? When did Tom go to the kiosk? This definitely has to stop.
"What? Sure, turn around and I'll put some cream on you."
“Thanks, but don’t forget anything, otherwise I’ll have sunburn tomorrow and you’ll have to work alone at Grandpa’s.”
"That might suit you. I won't miss a single spot, don't worry. I think you're in good hands with me."
I generously spread sunscreen on Conny's back and began to rub it in. I was right, by the way, her skin was velvety soft. Conny seemed to like it, because he was purring like a kitten, while hot and cold shivers ran through my body. Oh man, this is definitely not leaving me cold. I'm not gay at all. It's about time I got a girl again. It's probably just withdrawal symptoms.
“Okay, little one, done, no one missed a spot, so the sunburn excuse won’t work tomorrow.”
"Hey, you two, did you miss me? I brought you some ice cream," Tom interrupted the silence that had spread between Conny and me.
“I hope you brought me some ice cream, otherwise I won’t like you anymore,” grinned Conny.
"Well, I'm lucky I thought of that. I can't risk you not liking me anymore," Tom smiled back.
I think something is brewing, but where does this sudden pulling sensation in my stomach come from?
"Hey Alex, before I forget, there's a party at Max's on Saturday. He forgot to tell you at practice. You're invited too, Conny. So what do you think? Drink, dance, party?"
"But I'm so old. It's about time Max threw one of his legendary parties again." Ladies, Alex is on the block, and I'm going to get one of you on Saturday.
“Conny, will you come too if I ask nicely?”
"Of course, Tom, who can say no to that look? Oh crap, it's so late already. Sorry guys, I have to go, see you on Saturday. Oh yeah, Alex, I'm at my aunt's from tomorrow until Saturday, so you'll have to do all the work yourself. See you then." And Conny was off and away. This lousy little toad leaves me toiling all alone? Just wait, revenge is blood sausage.
“Hey Alex, do you know if Conny has a boyfriend?”
"Does that mean you know he's gay?"
"Yeah, he told me while we were swimming. He's such a sweet guy."
"Yes, that's him... Uh, I mean, he's really nice. And no, as far as I know, he doesn't have a boyfriend." Just got the hang of it.
"Oh, I see...", why is Tom looking at me so strangely now? What did I say? "Well, then I can try my luck. I really like him."
"Yes, do it. I wish you good luck and hope it works out. I have to go now, see you on Saturday." Now just get out of here quickly before he keeps looking at me strangely. What's wrong with Tom?
PARTY
"Hello, handsome, are you here all alone?" I'm standing in front of the bathroom mirror, getting ready for the party, and I really like my reflection. Light blue eyes that look at me with a friendly, alert expression. My chin-length, tousled brown hair looks like I just got out of bed, but that's exactly the look I like, and I think my body is pretty impressive, too. I'm 6'3", broad shoulders, slightly tanned from spending the last few days at the lake, and, as my mother would say, not an ounce of excess fat on my body.
I think I can work with that and the ladies will definitely respond to me today.
In my room, I stand in front of my closet for what feels like five hours before I decide on the faded, skinny jeans and the tight-fitting black shirt. Hey, man, you have to work on your looks to get the ladies' attention. Now I just put on the leather bracelet, put on the Chucks, and off I go to Tom's. I promised I'd pick him up. Conny is coming straight from the train station to the party.
“Wow Alex, if you weren’t my best friend, I’d hit on you no matter what.” Tom looked at me benevolently as I stood in front of his door to pick him up.
“Thank you, then I hope the ladies like it too and I don’t have to go home alone tonight.” I wink at him.
When we arrive at Max's, we have to make ourselves heard loudly, as the party is already in full swing and no one seems to hear the bell. Considering so many people are on vacation, the party is really well attended.
Tom and I squeeze through to the bar and grab a beer. We get a good overview at the bar. Max is surrounded by girls, as always. I think I'll join him. Maybe there'll be one left for me. Tom prefers to stay at the bar and wait for Conny, as he's not yet familiar with Tom's words.
“Hey Max, nice party...” I shout in his ear, as the noise level isn’t exactly low.
"Alex, nice to see you. Are Tom and Conny here yet?"
“Tom is at the bar in the back, and Conny wanted to come here directly from the train station, but hasn’t shown up yet.”
“Alex, by the way, this is Kati, my girlfriend.”
"Hey Alex, nice to meet you after all this time," she smiled at me. You have to give Max credit for one thing: he has good taste. With her shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes, and great figure, Kati is truly a feast for the eyes.
“What do you mean after all this time?” I look at Max, confused.
Max replied bright red, "Well, even though you all always thought I was the big womanizer, that's not true. I've been with Kati for two years and I don't want any other woman." Love must be beautiful, the way the two of them look at each other.
"You've been with her for two years and I've never seen her with you. How can that be?" Now I want to know exactly.
"Well, I've been living with my parents in London for the past few years, where I met Max two years ago. A month ago, we returned to Germany because my father took on a new job, and we can finally be together every day, without Skype or phone calls," Kati beams at me.
"Two years of a long-distance relationship? That's tough, but I'm happy that you can finally be together for real. I want that too. Maybe I'll find the right one yet."
Meanwhile, the party is in full swing, and I've already got a nice girl on the hook. Her name is Ute and she's from Dortmund. Well, nobody's perfect ;-)
We're dancing tightly embraced to Tainted Love when I notice something out of the corner of my eye.
When I turn around, I'm almost shocked. Conny. How can someone be so beautiful? Beautiful? Yes, beautiful! He's wearing tight black leather pants and a white RAMONES shirt, his hair tousled, and black eyeliner around his eyes.
Ute seems to notice my distraction, as she tries to make herself heard loudly. "Hey Alex, who is he? Why are you staring at that guy like that? Are you gay or something?"
"What, like gay? No, that's a friend of mine I've been waiting for."
"Oh, and that's why you're looking at him like you want to have sex with him right here? Yeah, right. I guess I'm out of place here until sometime." And Ute rushes off.
I don't think any more kissing will be great today. How does that bitch even come to the conclusion that I'm gay and that I like Conny? What nonsense. Oh. Tom noticed Conny too and greeted him. WHAT... With a kiss on the mouth? I feel sick, I need some fresh air.
"Hey Alex, wait a minute. Are you okay? Why are you so pale?" Conny runs after me. "Aren't you talking to me anymore?"
"Hey Conny, sorry, I'm just feeling a little sick. Maybe I drank the wrong thing."
"Wasn't it perhaps because you saw me kiss Tom on the mouth as a greeting? That's what we do when we're friends."
"And why don't you do that to me?" I blurt out. Dear brain, please get back to work.
"Oh Alex, you're not gay, so why would I do that? To let you punch me in the face?"
“Who says I react like that?”
"Okay, if that's the case," and Conny's lips were already on mine. If anyone had asked me, I would have sworn we stood there like that for hours.
“Are you satisfied now? You’ve also received your welcoming kiss.” Conny stands in front of me, blushing.
"Huh, yeah, I got a welcome kiss. Thanks." What nonsense am I talking about? My brain seems to have completely gone. A desperate search for the missing brain is underway. Any police station will accept relevant information.
“Alex, are you okay?”
"Yeah, I just have to go home. I forgot I have to leave early tomorrow. Bye, Conny, please tell the others see you soon." Just get out of here before this gets even more awkward.
KNOWLEDGE
I've been lying in bed for two hours now, wondering what's wrong.
Why does Conny confuse me so much? Even when I first met him. Why do I call him sweet and handsome? Why does his touch trigger such strange feelings in me? And then the kiss.
"Hey, honey, why are you home already? I thought you were at Max's party." My mother stands in the doorway in her nightgown and looks at me worriedly. Since when has she been coming into my room again?
“Hey Mum. Yes, I went to the party but then I didn’t feel like going anymore.”
"What's wrong, my boy? You're so pale?"
“Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, my dear.”
"Well, um, I don't know how to say this. I met someone who totally confuses me. When I see Conny, I feel hot and cold, and today at the party, we kissed hello. It was an indescribable feeling." Oh God, how embarrassing. I'm almost 18 and I'm talking to my mom about feelings.
"Hmmm, that definitely sounds like my son is in love for the first time. It's about time."
"Do you think so?" I'm in love with Conny, but he's a boy. Am I gay now? That can't be true, that's not right. Great, now I'm going to start crying IN FRONT OF MY MOTHER.
"Hey, my darling, there's nothing wrong with being in love. When I think about how it all started with your father, it warms my heart again. And you shouldn't be sad. Love is a wonderful thing."
“But…but *sniff*”
“Nothing but, and I’m looking forward to things working out with Conny and you introducing him to me soon.”
"What where from... I mean..."
"What do you think, your mother lives in a tree? My boy, I've known you for almost 18 years now. You've only had casual acquaintances in recent years, and since you started working for Mr. Wuttke, you've been a different person. So I put two and two together, and I also know that Mr. Wuttke has a lovely grandson named Conny."
“But aren’t you angry or disappointed in me?”
"Alex, your father and I love you just the way you are. You are and will always be our son. I couldn't imagine a better child. And what makes you happy makes us happy too. Do you hear?"
“Exactly, my son... listen to your mother.” I hadn’t even noticed that my father had come into the room.
"I love you," I sniffed to myself. I'm so lucky to have a family.
“Then try to get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.”
REVELATION
“Good morning, my darling, how did you sleep?” Mom was already clattering in the kitchen.
"It's like this. I kept thinking about being gay and how to tell Conny that I'm in love with him."
“Maybe Tom can help you with that, after all, he’s gay too,” my father said between his newspaper.
"I don't think that's going to work, since I tried to set them up and it seems I was successful."
“But why are you doing this if you’re in love with Conny?”
"Oh, Mom, I didn't want to believe it, and I think that's why I did it. What should I do?"
“Talk to Conny again, maybe there’s still a chance, and now off to work, it’s already past 9.”
"Hello Alex, it's great that you're here. We have so much to do today, especially now that Conny isn't here anymore." Old Wuttke greets me at the door to his shop.
"Good morning... what do you mean Conny's gone? I met him yesterday at Max's party."
"Yes, I know that. He came home yesterday after the party and started packing his things. I don't know why, he just said he couldn't stay here anymore and that he'd made a big mistake. Do you know what he means? Alex, why are you crying?"
"Fritz, I... well, I do." Oh God, that's difficult. "Okay. I've fallen in love with your grandson, and yesterday at the party, he kissed me and I guess I misunderstood my reaction. I mean, I didn't realize it until after the party, and I guess I offended him a bit with my reaction to the kiss."
"Aha. Yes, but my boy, why are you still here then? Go on, find my grandson and tell him how you feel about him. Come on, ZZ, or do I have to threaten you with a beating first?" Old Wuttke beamed from ear to ear.
"Aren't you angry? After all, your grandson is gay..."
"Oh, I'm not interested in that sort of thing. Gay, lesbian, straight... The main thing is that he's happy. It's bad enough that my son-in-law is such a hick and keeps my daughter loyal to her husband. God knows I didn't raise her that way. Conny has really been through enough with the two of them. And she deserves better than parents like that. I, for one, am very proud of my grandson, no matter who he loves."
"Thanks Fritz, that gives me courage. Do you have any idea where I can find Conny?"
"I have a vague idea. Do you know the old fishing hut by the lake, where the mossy jetty goes into the water? I used to go there with Conny when he was little; he loves that spot. Maybe you'll find him there. And Alex... bring my grandson back to me safely." This serious yet sad expression on Fritz's face is new to me, but I take his words seriously as I give him my word with a silent nod.
CONFUSION
Conny, please be at the fishing hut. I'm riding my bike so fast through the streets that some grandmas have to leap into the bushes to avoid being run over, but I can't afford to worry about that now. I have to get to him as quickly as possible before it's too late. I arrive at the hut completely out of breath; I've never made the trip to the lake so quickly. But no matter, the first thing to do now is find Conny.
I stop in front of the door and gather all my courage. I quietly open the door and stand rooted to the spot. I see Tom and Conny locked in a passionate kiss, and something inside me breaks. They don't seem to have noticed me yet when I clear my throat. Their heads jerk apart, and Conny stares at me with wide, shocked eyes.
"Uh, I didn't want to bother you. I was just looking for Conny because I wanted to talk to him, but apparently that's not the case. So good luck to you both, and see you later." Shit, I can't hold back the tears anymore. I have to get out of here. I'm such a complete idiot. Why did I have to try to set these two up?
"Alex, you stay here and talk. I have something else planned anyway." Tom had gotten up and was heading for the door. "I hope you can sort this out between you. Oh, and Alex, things aren't always what they seem at first glance."
Tom is gone, and Conny is still sitting on the couch like a miserable heap, but I'm no better. Somehow I manage to move my legs *ha ha move, legs* to walk to the couch and sit down next to Conny. Still, no one says a word.
"Alex, I... So, what you just saw, Tom just wanted to comfort me, we're not a couple."
The way Conny looks at me sadly when she says these words breaks my heart.
"But you'd like to be with him? You'd make a lovely couple." How did I manage to say two coherent sentences without breaking down?
“No, Tom and I will never be a couple because I love someone else.”
What was that? Conny loves someone else? Definitely from his home country, and he wanted to return to him. All my hopes for a future together are dashed, but at least I can still apologize to Conny.
"Conny, I'm glad you have someone you love, honestly! I'm actually just here to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. I wanted you to kiss me, but then I was suddenly so overwhelmed that I didn't know what to do." Why do I have to start crying now? "I know I hurt you a lot with that, I didn't mean to. Last night at home, I finally admitted to myself that I feel more for you. I know it's too late, but Conny, I..."
"What are you saying? You have feelings for me. Alex, I... oh man... You're the other one. I've loved you since we first met. But I thought I had no chance with you, so I wanted to leave."
Did I just understand that Conny loves me too? I don't know whether to laugh or cry (with joy). But I do know one thing: I'll never give this boy away, and as he lies in my arms and we kiss tenderly, I think to myself, life isn't so unfair after all.
The End?