2025-07-12, 02:59 PM
"...Hello sun worshippers, today it's going to be up to 35°C again in the Ruhr area, so let's get out there by the water, and to all the students... HAPPY SUMMER HOLIDAYS...this is Radio NRW, your start to the day."
What sun...water...that would be nice, but to my great chagrin, the assembled parents' front has condemned me to a job. "Son, if you want a car, you'll have to work for it. Be glad we're paying for your driver's license," roared the male part of the front when I only timidly mentioned that I wanted a cute little vehicle for my 18th birthday.
Okay, they were partly right, but working all summer in Grandpa Wuttke's dusty junk shop while all your friends are on vacation somewhere in the world? Life is so unfair!
Enough self-pity for today. I can't buy my dream car with that. I still need to earn five hundred euros, and then the little one will finally be mine... Ever since I saw it at the used car dealer, I've been in love. Dark blue metallic, two doors, open roof... my beautiful VW 1 Series Cabriolet, my little strawberry basket.
"Alex, calm down, you don't want to be late for old Wuttke's on the first day," I was rudely torn from my dreams. My mother simply had a knack for tearing me out of my dreams.
I still remember when I was 14 and discovered that the thing between my legs could do more than just pee. From then on, I was one of the most active self-pleasure enthusiasts this side of the Rhine, until the day my mother walked into my room without knocking and interrupted me during my creative phase. HOW EMBARRASSING! Since then, I've had a lock on the door, and my mother has lost all interest in visiting me in my room.
“ALEX, if you don’t come down right now, I’m going to have to deal with it. I won’t call you again.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m already on my way, can’t you be a little more considerate if I have to get up in the middle of the night?” I mumbled into my nonexistent beard.
“Young man, when I was your age… For your convenience, I’m going to skip the half-hour speech on “Back in the day – the myth of parents in their youth,” and besides, I think everyone knows the most common sayings.
My goodness, my ears are buzzing, this is psychological warfare, seriously, my mom at war, and the enemy throws in the towel after five minutes at the most. Just get out of here quickly before she's warmed up.
Phew, it's really warm today, actually the perfect weather to laze around by some lake and do nothing. Actually...
THE GET TO KNOW
“Good morning Mr. Wuttke, Alex Werner reporting for duty.”
"Alex, it's great that you're here. I've been waiting for you," said the short, stocky Mr. Wuttke, behind his slightly oversized wire-rimmed glasses. Somehow, he always reminded me of one of those garden gnomes that stands in my grandma's front yard. "But you can save yourself the Mr. Wuttke thing. We're working together for a few weeks now, so you can call me Fritz. By the way, Conny is already waiting outside to show you everything. I have to keep taking care of this clock. It just won't run."
Conny? Who the hell is Conny? I thought I was the only victim of the summer job system. Still pondering, I stepped out of the shop into the large backyard and stopped dead in my tracks.
Wow, what an ass I'm seeing in tight denim shorts! I've found my dream woman, at least if the rest of that ass fits too.
The owner of this magnificent piece seems to have noticed my staring and turns to me, ready to give me another shock. A boy??? I seriously stared at a boy's butt and found it beautiful? No, no... that was only because I thought it was a girl. Yes, that was exactly it.
"Hi, I'm Conny. You must be Alex, Grandpa has told me a lot about you," said the boy while I stared at him, still completely dazed.
"Um...um...I, yes, I'm Alex!" I'm such a gifted entertainer. Conny probably thinks I'm crazy, and so does his grandpa. Wait, his grandpa?
“Uh, sorry Conny, I’m not really awake yet,” phew, just saved, “but tell me, who do you mean by grandpa?”
"Oh, no problem, and you couldn't possibly know about Grandpa. Mr. Wuttke is my grandpa, and I promised to help him out during the holidays so he could get some rest. Besides, there's nothing keeping me at home anyway." What's that shadow passing across his face? Someone seems to be having problems. Psychologist Alex Werner is called in.
“Well then, welcome to Essen, I hope you like it here and if you want to chat or need someone to show you the city, feel free to give me a call.”
"Thanks, Alex, I'll definitely get back to that, but for now, let's get started. If you'd like, you can help me sort this dishware. Grandpa wants to display it in the shop window, and for that, it has to be complete and undamaged."
THE PRONUNCIATION WITH TOM
"That took a while." It took us a good three hours to sort through the dishes and check for broken pieces. During that time, I had a very lively conversation with Conny, even though he didn't bring up the subject at home. But at least I learned a little more about him. He was 17, went to high school in a small town in Lower Saxony, liked swimming and skating, and listened to rock music. If he were a girl, I would have asked him out immediately. Blonde curly hair, big brown eyes, a cute button nose, and a pouty mouth that makes you want to kiss. Wait, what am I talking about? Did I seriously say "cute," well, like I said, if he were a girl.
"Yes, finally finished for today, it took long enough. You, Alex? I was really happy to meet you. You're really nice and I'm looking forward to working with you." Why is Conny blushing so much while he's saying that? Or am I just imagining it?
"I'm having fun with you too, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'll be on my way; I have soccer practice soon. See you then." I waved to Conny and headed off to training. Training during the summer holidays is great; almost everyone on the team is on vacation, and there's no real training. We just sit together, drink beer, and talk about girls.
"Hey Alex, how are things going?" Max yelled at me. He was the absolute ladies' man in our team and had a new girl on the team every weekend. "How are you enjoying your work? Have you met a nice girl yet?"
"Hey Max, there's really not much going on with girls in this store, but I met old Wuttke's grandson. He works with me and seems like a really nice guy."
“Do you mean Conny the old faggot?”
"What do you mean?"
"Hey Alex, don't tell me you haven't gotten it yet, man, that guy is gay. That's why he's with his grandpa. His father first beat him to a pulp and then kicked him out of the house when Conny told his parents." Man, Max was really better than any tabloid, but I can't imagine Conny being gay, for the life of me.
“Are you sure, Max, aren’t these just stupid sayings?”
"Alex, I swear on my dick, it'll fall off if I'm lying. Well, I guess you had to find something new to work for!"
"Max, you old ass, do you think I'm no longer working at Wuttke's just because I know Conny's gay? I think Conny's a nice guy, and besides, being gay isn't contagious. I honestly never would have thought you were a homophobe." I was starting to get really worked up.
"Wow, slow down. I have absolutely nothing against gays. First of all, as you know, my cousin Jens is gay too, and secondly, who made those stupid, hurtful remarks when Tom came out to the team? All I'm saying is, assholes get AIDS, cocksuckers should be gassed. Well, it definitely wasn't me."
I had completely forgotten about that. I was really mean to Tom back then, even though he'd been my best friend since kindergarten. Actually, I didn't have anything against gay people; it was more because Tom didn't trust me and, as his best friend, told me first. I found out like everyone else, during a training session. Since then, something had broken between Tom and me, and we only saw each other at training.
He was still on the team because no one, except me, was bothered by Tom's sexual orientation.
"Sorry Max, I should have known better about you. I'm really sorry I snapped at you like that."
"No problem, but I think it's time you and Tom started getting along. Hey, kid, you've been best friends since kindergarten. Oh, speak of the devil, hello, Tom. Sorry guys, I have to go. I have a date with Kati. See you later!" and he was gone.
Great, now I'm standing here in front of Tom and I don't know what to say. Could the ground please open up and swallow me? Shit, every time you need a miracle, there isn't one. Tom looks at me sadly; I think he's still really hurt. Well, considering the way I hit him, it's no wonder. Where does he want to go now? Hey, I'm just trying to crawl over to the cross, and the bird turns around and leaves.
“Hey Tom, wait, I want to talk to you.” Cool, my mouth seems to have found its voice again.
"Alex, what do you want? Haven't you hurt me enough already? Or have you thought of some new nasty things you want to say to me? So what do you want?" Shit, Tom is really hurt.
"Tom, I'm sorry, I was an asshole and I apologize for that. I have nothing against you, but I was so disappointed that you didn't tell me sooner that you were into boys."
"Do you think it was easy for me to find out I was gay? You were my best friend, and I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to lose you. It took so much courage to tell all of you, but for you to react like that? You really hurt me. I only ever wanted to be your best friend."
"I want to be your best friend too. Maybe we can get back together. What do you think? Can we try again?"
"But only if you never say something like that again. If you ever do again... then that's the end of our friendship."
Oh man, I'm really glad to have my best friend back. I think I have to thank Conny for that, because if Max hadn't told me he was gay, I wouldn't have made up with Tom so quickly.
CONVERSATION WITH CONNY
“Good morning Alex, I hope you had fun training yesterday,” Conny grinned at me as I rode up to the junk shop on my bike.
Does the boy have a beautiful face? What? No, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, yeah, thanks, it was pretty good. I talked to my best friend again. We had a falling out last year, but now everything's fine."
"I'm so happy for you. Why were you arguing?" Now that's what I call the perfect opportunity to confront Conny about his homosexuality. Brainwave!!! Maybe I can even play Cupid and set him and Tom up. As a best friend, you help out wherever you can.
"Well, when Tom told me and the crew that he was gay, I probably overreacted a bit and said some not-so-nice things to him. But just because he didn't trust me has nothing to do with him being gay. I have no problem with that at all."
"Oh," Conny said, and just stared at me with his big, round brown eyes. God, how sweet. Hello, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, I actually wanted to wait until you told me yourself, but is it possible that you're into boys too? Max, a friend of mine, said something like that."
"I... I... *sniff* yes, it's true, I didn't want to tell anyone. Every time I did it, I got beaten up or everyone turned away from me... It's not my fault..." He stood in front of me, crying, and all I could do was take him in my arms and comfort him. Little by little, he calmed down, but I was getting more and more agitated. My emotions were going crazy; it was a wonderful feeling to hold him in my arms. This warmth. It's probably just because I felt so sorry for him and he awakens my protective instincts. That's exactly what it must be.
"It's okay, little one. I'm here for you. Hey, I have a great idea. To take your mind off things, we can go to the lake later. What do you think?"
“Oh yes, I’d love to,” and Conny’s face brightened again.
"If it's okay, I'll ask Tom to come with me. I think he could use some distraction right now."
"Of course, no problem. With more people, it's more fun," said Conny, running into the house to get his swimsuit. Afterward, we drove past my place; we were supposed to meet Tom at the lake.
What sun...water...that would be nice, but to my great chagrin, the assembled parents' front has condemned me to a job. "Son, if you want a car, you'll have to work for it. Be glad we're paying for your driver's license," roared the male part of the front when I only timidly mentioned that I wanted a cute little vehicle for my 18th birthday.
Okay, they were partly right, but working all summer in Grandpa Wuttke's dusty junk shop while all your friends are on vacation somewhere in the world? Life is so unfair!
Enough self-pity for today. I can't buy my dream car with that. I still need to earn five hundred euros, and then the little one will finally be mine... Ever since I saw it at the used car dealer, I've been in love. Dark blue metallic, two doors, open roof... my beautiful VW 1 Series Cabriolet, my little strawberry basket.
"Alex, calm down, you don't want to be late for old Wuttke's on the first day," I was rudely torn from my dreams. My mother simply had a knack for tearing me out of my dreams.
I still remember when I was 14 and discovered that the thing between my legs could do more than just pee. From then on, I was one of the most active self-pleasure enthusiasts this side of the Rhine, until the day my mother walked into my room without knocking and interrupted me during my creative phase. HOW EMBARRASSING! Since then, I've had a lock on the door, and my mother has lost all interest in visiting me in my room.
“ALEX, if you don’t come down right now, I’m going to have to deal with it. I won’t call you again.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m already on my way, can’t you be a little more considerate if I have to get up in the middle of the night?” I mumbled into my nonexistent beard.
“Young man, when I was your age… For your convenience, I’m going to skip the half-hour speech on “Back in the day – the myth of parents in their youth,” and besides, I think everyone knows the most common sayings.
My goodness, my ears are buzzing, this is psychological warfare, seriously, my mom at war, and the enemy throws in the towel after five minutes at the most. Just get out of here quickly before she's warmed up.
Phew, it's really warm today, actually the perfect weather to laze around by some lake and do nothing. Actually...
THE GET TO KNOW
“Good morning Mr. Wuttke, Alex Werner reporting for duty.”
"Alex, it's great that you're here. I've been waiting for you," said the short, stocky Mr. Wuttke, behind his slightly oversized wire-rimmed glasses. Somehow, he always reminded me of one of those garden gnomes that stands in my grandma's front yard. "But you can save yourself the Mr. Wuttke thing. We're working together for a few weeks now, so you can call me Fritz. By the way, Conny is already waiting outside to show you everything. I have to keep taking care of this clock. It just won't run."
Conny? Who the hell is Conny? I thought I was the only victim of the summer job system. Still pondering, I stepped out of the shop into the large backyard and stopped dead in my tracks.
Wow, what an ass I'm seeing in tight denim shorts! I've found my dream woman, at least if the rest of that ass fits too.
The owner of this magnificent piece seems to have noticed my staring and turns to me, ready to give me another shock. A boy??? I seriously stared at a boy's butt and found it beautiful? No, no... that was only because I thought it was a girl. Yes, that was exactly it.
"Hi, I'm Conny. You must be Alex, Grandpa has told me a lot about you," said the boy while I stared at him, still completely dazed.
"Um...um...I, yes, I'm Alex!" I'm such a gifted entertainer. Conny probably thinks I'm crazy, and so does his grandpa. Wait, his grandpa?
“Uh, sorry Conny, I’m not really awake yet,” phew, just saved, “but tell me, who do you mean by grandpa?”
"Oh, no problem, and you couldn't possibly know about Grandpa. Mr. Wuttke is my grandpa, and I promised to help him out during the holidays so he could get some rest. Besides, there's nothing keeping me at home anyway." What's that shadow passing across his face? Someone seems to be having problems. Psychologist Alex Werner is called in.
“Well then, welcome to Essen, I hope you like it here and if you want to chat or need someone to show you the city, feel free to give me a call.”
"Thanks, Alex, I'll definitely get back to that, but for now, let's get started. If you'd like, you can help me sort this dishware. Grandpa wants to display it in the shop window, and for that, it has to be complete and undamaged."
THE PRONUNCIATION WITH TOM
"That took a while." It took us a good three hours to sort through the dishes and check for broken pieces. During that time, I had a very lively conversation with Conny, even though he didn't bring up the subject at home. But at least I learned a little more about him. He was 17, went to high school in a small town in Lower Saxony, liked swimming and skating, and listened to rock music. If he were a girl, I would have asked him out immediately. Blonde curly hair, big brown eyes, a cute button nose, and a pouty mouth that makes you want to kiss. Wait, what am I talking about? Did I seriously say "cute," well, like I said, if he were a girl.
"Yes, finally finished for today, it took long enough. You, Alex? I was really happy to meet you. You're really nice and I'm looking forward to working with you." Why is Conny blushing so much while he's saying that? Or am I just imagining it?
"I'm having fun with you too, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'll be on my way; I have soccer practice soon. See you then." I waved to Conny and headed off to training. Training during the summer holidays is great; almost everyone on the team is on vacation, and there's no real training. We just sit together, drink beer, and talk about girls.
"Hey Alex, how are things going?" Max yelled at me. He was the absolute ladies' man in our team and had a new girl on the team every weekend. "How are you enjoying your work? Have you met a nice girl yet?"
"Hey Max, there's really not much going on with girls in this store, but I met old Wuttke's grandson. He works with me and seems like a really nice guy."
“Do you mean Conny the old faggot?”
"What do you mean?"
"Hey Alex, don't tell me you haven't gotten it yet, man, that guy is gay. That's why he's with his grandpa. His father first beat him to a pulp and then kicked him out of the house when Conny told his parents." Man, Max was really better than any tabloid, but I can't imagine Conny being gay, for the life of me.
“Are you sure, Max, aren’t these just stupid sayings?”
"Alex, I swear on my dick, it'll fall off if I'm lying. Well, I guess you had to find something new to work for!"
"Max, you old ass, do you think I'm no longer working at Wuttke's just because I know Conny's gay? I think Conny's a nice guy, and besides, being gay isn't contagious. I honestly never would have thought you were a homophobe." I was starting to get really worked up.
"Wow, slow down. I have absolutely nothing against gays. First of all, as you know, my cousin Jens is gay too, and secondly, who made those stupid, hurtful remarks when Tom came out to the team? All I'm saying is, assholes get AIDS, cocksuckers should be gassed. Well, it definitely wasn't me."
I had completely forgotten about that. I was really mean to Tom back then, even though he'd been my best friend since kindergarten. Actually, I didn't have anything against gay people; it was more because Tom didn't trust me and, as his best friend, told me first. I found out like everyone else, during a training session. Since then, something had broken between Tom and me, and we only saw each other at training.
He was still on the team because no one, except me, was bothered by Tom's sexual orientation.
"Sorry Max, I should have known better about you. I'm really sorry I snapped at you like that."
"No problem, but I think it's time you and Tom started getting along. Hey, kid, you've been best friends since kindergarten. Oh, speak of the devil, hello, Tom. Sorry guys, I have to go. I have a date with Kati. See you later!" and he was gone.
Great, now I'm standing here in front of Tom and I don't know what to say. Could the ground please open up and swallow me? Shit, every time you need a miracle, there isn't one. Tom looks at me sadly; I think he's still really hurt. Well, considering the way I hit him, it's no wonder. Where does he want to go now? Hey, I'm just trying to crawl over to the cross, and the bird turns around and leaves.
“Hey Tom, wait, I want to talk to you.” Cool, my mouth seems to have found its voice again.
"Alex, what do you want? Haven't you hurt me enough already? Or have you thought of some new nasty things you want to say to me? So what do you want?" Shit, Tom is really hurt.
"Tom, I'm sorry, I was an asshole and I apologize for that. I have nothing against you, but I was so disappointed that you didn't tell me sooner that you were into boys."
"Do you think it was easy for me to find out I was gay? You were my best friend, and I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to lose you. It took so much courage to tell all of you, but for you to react like that? You really hurt me. I only ever wanted to be your best friend."
"I want to be your best friend too. Maybe we can get back together. What do you think? Can we try again?"
"But only if you never say something like that again. If you ever do again... then that's the end of our friendship."
Oh man, I'm really glad to have my best friend back. I think I have to thank Conny for that, because if Max hadn't told me he was gay, I wouldn't have made up with Tom so quickly.
CONVERSATION WITH CONNY
“Good morning Alex, I hope you had fun training yesterday,” Conny grinned at me as I rode up to the junk shop on my bike.
Does the boy have a beautiful face? What? No, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, yeah, thanks, it was pretty good. I talked to my best friend again. We had a falling out last year, but now everything's fine."
"I'm so happy for you. Why were you arguing?" Now that's what I call the perfect opportunity to confront Conny about his homosexuality. Brainwave!!! Maybe I can even play Cupid and set him and Tom up. As a best friend, you help out wherever you can.
"Well, when Tom told me and the crew that he was gay, I probably overreacted a bit and said some not-so-nice things to him. But just because he didn't trust me has nothing to do with him being gay. I have no problem with that at all."
"Oh," Conny said, and just stared at me with his big, round brown eyes. God, how sweet. Hello, that's enough now.
"Hey Conny, I actually wanted to wait until you told me yourself, but is it possible that you're into boys too? Max, a friend of mine, said something like that."
"I... I... *sniff* yes, it's true, I didn't want to tell anyone. Every time I did it, I got beaten up or everyone turned away from me... It's not my fault..." He stood in front of me, crying, and all I could do was take him in my arms and comfort him. Little by little, he calmed down, but I was getting more and more agitated. My emotions were going crazy; it was a wonderful feeling to hold him in my arms. This warmth. It's probably just because I felt so sorry for him and he awakens my protective instincts. That's exactly what it must be.
"It's okay, little one. I'm here for you. Hey, I have a great idea. To take your mind off things, we can go to the lake later. What do you think?"
“Oh yes, I’d love to,” and Conny’s face brightened again.
"If it's okay, I'll ask Tom to come with me. I think he could use some distraction right now."
"Of course, no problem. With more people, it's more fun," said Conny, running into the house to get his swimsuit. Afterward, we drove past my place; we were supposed to meet Tom at the lake.