Forums

Friday! Finally! The long-awaited weekend had arrived, kicking off just a few hours earlier with the ringing of the school bell. Now the many participants, already warmed up, began their stretching exercises. One of them was my father, who was bustling around the living room of our small apartment.
"Where's my cell phone?" he mumbled. "I saw it a moment ago." He threw a box of tissues and a bag of candy off the table. "I can't possibly leave without my cell phone." Grinning, arms crossed, I watched him as he extended the mess that was standard in our house, which covered every table, shelf, and other piece of furniture, to the floor. Two long-outdated TV guides landed on the carpet, as did the DVD player remote. Still grinning, I left him to search and went into the kitchen to have a drink. Just as I had poured myself a drink, my father came into the room. Okay, room wasn't quite right, because technically the kitchen and living room were one room, divided only by the flooring. Where the carpet ended, so did the living room, and immediately after that, the white tiles, i.e., the kitchen, began.
"So?" I asked. "Did you find it?" My dad nodded and held out his cell phone, beaming. "Then the day is saved," I grinned. Without replying, he put the phone in his pocket and reached for his car keys, which were lying on the dashboard. "I'll be back tomorrow morning!" he said. "So don't do anything stupid," I added to his brief farewell speech. He looked at me with a mock reproachful look. "Don't be so cheeky!" he said. "I'm not cheeky," I replied. "Don't worry. I'm old enough to take care of myself, and anyway...you go away every Friday." "Yeah, I know," my dad sighed. "But I'm just afraid you'll burn down the apartment if I'm not here, or that you'll be abducted by aliens, which would be good for you, by the way. Maybe they can raise you, since I obviously can't." He pointed to the open bottle of Fanta that was behind me. As instructed, I put the cap back on, screwed the bottle shut, and put it back in the drinks crate. "It could also be," my father continued, "that you throw parties here until six in the morning with the motto 'Sex, Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll'..." He paused, a smile crossing his lips. From a hundred kilometers away, you could see that he liked the idea, after all, he was a bit of a rocker himself. "Whatever." He waved his hand as if to brush the thought away, to regain his senses. "Just spend the evening like you always do, then nothing can go wrong." "Will do," I grinned. I preferred to obey orders for fun. "Good. Then I'll get going soon enough..." He turned to leave. "There are two pizzas and fries in the freezer. Chips are in the living room and...oh yeah! I just remembered, how was the history test?" I rolled my eyes. I'd actually hoped he'd forgotten. "Not so good. Sixteen points," I replied. "Out of?" "A lot." "Grade?" "Five," I said unhappily, but my dad just grinned. "Nerd. I only got Cs in history." He disappeared, and I heard him take his jacket off the hook in the hallway and put it on. "There's a little consolation prize in the fridge. I've already had two, though. So there's only sixteen left!" he called to me. "But not all at once!" With those words, he opened the apartment door, threw a quick "Bye, see you tomorrow!" toward the kitchen, and then steamed off. Once again, he didn't say where he was going. Every Friday he left me alone (which didn't bother me at all) and didn't come back until the next day. I suspected he had a girlfriend and wanted to keep her secret from me, but every time I asked him about it, I only got vague answers that I couldn't relate to. That was one thing—I think the only thing—that bothered me about him. If he was really going to see his sweetheart, he could just tell me. After all, I wasn't a little kid anymore. Knowing him, he was probably just afraid I wouldn't accept her and would blame him, saying he wanted to replace my mother and so on. She, by the way, lived separately from us (as you might have guessed from the previous sentence). Since I was born, she had paid little or no attention to me, so my dad eventually got custody. That was fine with me, because he really was the best father anyone could wish for. At least, that's how I saw it. I was also reminded of this when I opened the refrigerator and saw the promised 'consolation prize.' Three six-packs of Beck's glittered merrily in the middle shelf. I closed the fridge again with a smile. My little dad was truly the best.
Maybe I'll just tell you a little bit about him and me.
Well, he wasn't actually short, even though I always claimed he was. In fact, he was quite tall, somewhere between 1.80m and 1.90m. His name was Philip, he was thirty-two years young, slim, fairly muscular—not too much, just the way I thought women liked it—with dark blue eyes and dark-blond hair, slightly shaved at the back and falling in stray strands around his face. He usually wore ripped jeans and baggy T-shirts with a picture of some rock band, adorned with studs and sweatbands, and hadn't been able to part with his old sneakers for at least ten years. His body was adorned with numerous tattoos in places I most likely, and thankfully, didn't recognize all of them, and he had a piercing in his right eyebrow, just like me.
His appearance reflected his behavior, as he remained quite youthful on the inside, which only worked to my advantage. Maybe that's why we got along so well. Besides, compared to other families, we were very close in age. He and my mum had been 'lucky' enough to become parents at sixteen, which was probably the reason for the later separation, because who wanted to be an adult at that age? So all the work, that is, me, fell to my dad, and today I was a happy teenager who saw his father more as a big brother than a teacher.
But enough of that. Now to me.
My name is Manuel, known as Manu. I'm sixteen years old, 1.75m tall, and weigh 62kg, so I'm quite slim, unfortunately not quite as muscular. When it comes to my eyes and hair, I take after my dad. As I just mentioned, I have an eyebrow piercing, one in my tongue, and one in my left nipple. I don't have any tattoos yet, but the appointment is already set for next week. Well, my dad just allowed anything. Well, almost...
When it comes to clothes, I like to wear colorful things, like red pants and a yellow shirt. I know it looks awful, but I like it. Today, however, I was dressed 'normally' for once: light blue jeans and a dark blue T-shirt. Much to Maik's delight, because he had a date with me like every Friday, and he said my color combinations would make him go blind one day.
By the way, Maik was my best friend ever since we sat in the sandbox together, and after he stomped on my sand cake at kindergarten and I got into a fight with him, we just couldn't stay away from each other.
My thoughts had barely landed on him when the doorbell rang. On my way there, I glanced at the digital display on the clock radio in the kitchen—4 p.m. Punctual as always, the boy. In the hallway, I pressed the buzzer and opened the apartment door, waiting for a completely harried Maik to bound down the stairs to meet me. And sure enough, he did! Not even two minutes later, he was standing in front of me, puffing and panting. "Why do you have to live on the fifth floor?" he gasped. "You always say the same thing. No 'hello,' nothing at all. Just complaints," I chided. "Yeah, yeah, sorry. First of all, hello," he said, and I stepped aside with a grin to let him in. "Just saw your dad," he said as he took off his shoes and denim jacket and I closed the door. "He looked really good enough to eat again!" Maik beamed, earning me a reproachful look. "You know..." I started, and Maik finished the sentence with a sigh. "No crush on your dad, I know." "But he's still hot," he added, once we were already in the kitchen. Grinning, my hand slipped and I aimed straight for his left cheek, but Maik dodged it skillfully, so I only caught air. "So, what did you catch?" he asked cheekily, and I poked him in the side, laughing. "Idiot!" "Asshole!" he countered, pinching me lightly in the stomach. I immediately screamed because I was particularly ticklish there. Maik knew that, of course, but before he could pounce on me and carry out his evil plan to tickle me, I ripped open the refrigerator door. "Look!" I called out hastily, and as I'd hoped, he was distracted by the beer. "Great!" he exclaimed, immediately taking a bottle. I followed his example, and we headed up to my room with the bottle opener.

The rest of the evening was in every way similar to previous Fridays. Endless fooling around and pillow fights, tears of laughter, alcohol, pizza and chips, one comedy show after another, and even more laughter and even more alcohol. I had no idea how much I'd already drunk, but judging by my nausea, it must have been enough. Maik seemed completely fed up too, because as he put the empty bottle, which had just been half full, on the floor, he slurred, "This far and no further!" I giggled for no reason and sank down onto the covers next to him. "Man, I'm drunk!" Maik chuckled, turned onto his side, and placed a hand on my stomach. "Say, Manulein, you're not feeling sick, are you?" Grumbling, yet with a grin on my face, I pushed his hand away. "Stop fiddling with me!" I ordered. "And don't call me Manulein!" "Okay, Manulein!" he laughed, letting his hand wander under my T-shirt. For those who didn't know: Maik wasn't into girls – but I was.
"You're so gay!" I laughed, trying to get rid of his hand. "I know," Maik replied mischievously, pushing my shirt further and further up. He wasn't just gay, he was also horny, and since I could barely resist due to my alcohol levels, he had my shirt completely off in a short time. Then, after an even shorter struggle, he finally lay on my stomach, staring at me with glassy hazel eyes. "Get off me!" I said, trying to push him off, but to no avail. "You're heavy! I can't breathe!" Maik giggled. "That rhymes." I gave him a crooked grin, and there was a brief pause during which he kissed the tip of my nose. I grimaced in disgust. "I'm not gay!" I blurted out. Maik pouted and stroked my hair. "You always say the same thing." "What else should I say?" I replied. He smiled mischievously. "Maik, you're so hot! I need you! I want you! Kiss me! Here and now!" We burst into laughter. "You'd love that!" I grinned, and he nodded. "I think it's such a shame you're not gay." He stroked my cheek. "You're such a handsome little guy." "Don't call me little guy," I grumbled. "Okay, Manulein." I was about to reply when a heart-wrenching yawn interrupted me. The beer was slowly making me tired. With another yawn, I closed my eyes. "Get down already!" I mumbled. "Or do you want to lie here all night?" "Mhm," I heard Maik's voice, still right above my face. "I actually want something completely different," he added, and before I knew it, I felt him kissing me. My eyes popped open in shock, but immediately closed them again as Maik gently brushed his tongue over my lips. I was tired, I felt sick, both of which were due to the alcohol, and at the moment I didn't care about anything. Besides, he wouldn't leave me alone until he had what he wanted anyway. So I slowly opened my mouth and let his tongue in. My tongue also came to life, and we lost ourselves in a long, passionate kiss that I began to moan. Maik seemed to like that, because he pulled away from me to shine a satisfied glow on me that would have made any neon light jealous. "Wow!" he breathed, running his hand through my hair again. "You're absolutely amazing!" he smiled. "Thank you!" I grinned and closed my eyes again as that loyal soul on top of me went in for another kiss. He, too, began to moan softly as I gently massaged his neck with my left hand and let my right hand glide over his back and down to his butt. "Manu!" he whispered excitedly into my left ear. "You're so hot!" He nibbled on my earlobe and then worked his way down to my neck, sucking hard as if he wanted to give me a hickey. I usually hated that kind of thing, but since he had chosen my neck for this and it was my secret erogenous zone, I willingly let him have his fun. When he then started stroking my breast and then my stomach, and when he finally started to unzip my pants, it was as if a fuse had blown inside me. My moans grew louder and louder, I got goosebumps from excitement, and I was, to put it bluntly, horny as a neighbor's slob. His hand wandered under my shorts, and while he massaged my stiff cock, I got him to let go of my neck and give me another French kiss, more passionate than I'd ever had with any other girl before.
My hands were already under his shirt, and the more his hand slid up and down my cock, the more I dug my claws into his back. After a few minutes, I realized it must be hurting him, but he just carried on without letting on. Nevertheless, I stopped and took off his T-shirt instead, although we had to break off our kiss to do so. To prevent this from happening again, I also took off his pants and shorts, and he took off all my clothes as well. Now we were both lying completely naked on my bed and continued our lovemaking. Maik continued where he left off, and I started moaning again. I ran my fingers through his short, reddish-brown hair and only now noticed his wonderful scent of shampoo and shower gel. My hands found their place on his neck and his now bare bottom for the second time, and I devotedly caressed his neck with my lips, only interrupting to whisper, "You smell so good," into his ear. Maik smiled and kissed me tenderly on the forehead, nose, and mouth. I smiled back seductively. He looked a little puzzled when I suddenly pushed him away, but when he realized I had only turned him onto his back and then snuggled up close to him, the surprise disappeared from his eyes. After more kisses, some of which lasted minutes, and more caresses on all sorts of parts of our bodies, I finally dared to take the step Maik had probably always wanted—at least that's what I interpreted from the sounds he made as I knelt over him, took his stiff cock in my hand, and jerked him off. "Manu!" he moaned. I smiled and watched his chest rise and fall faster and faster the closer he came to climax. "Manu! You're so horny... You..." He bit his lower lip and every muscle in his body tensed. Grinning, I leaned over him, naturally not letting go of his cock, and gently pushed my tongue into his mouth. Even as we kissed, his arousal increased in the said climax, and the sign of his satisfaction spread across my stomach. I didn't really care, though, so I just kept kissing him until he gently pushed me away. Apparently, he needed time to catch his breath. I sat down next to him, snuggled close to him, and stroked his chest while he hugged me, still panting heavily. He kissed me on the forehead and smiled at me. "Wow!" he just sighed. I giggled. "You're repeating yourself." Instead of replying, he stroked my cheek and closed his eyes. I'd seen Maik sleeping many times before, but with that content and happy expression on his face, he looked like an angel, if such a thing existed. What I also noticed, unfortunately, was that I was seeing double. I shook my head, but my impaired vision remained, so I quickly closed my eyes and kissed him for the umpteenth time.
"Don't fall asleep!" I said quietly, when, minutes after our kiss ended, he still hadn't opened his eyes and his breathing had evened out. Maik just grumbled a little, but still looked at me. I smiled, stroked his nose, and our tongues met again. Then my lips wandered over the rest of his face. I covered every single square inch with little kisses until I reached his neck and his ear. "Blow me!" I breathed, because I still had a hard-on. Maik looked at me in a way I couldn't interpret, and I was afraid I'd gone too far, but he lovingly turned me onto my back and bent down to my lower abdomen. Now I was the one moaning his name loudly, my breathing getting faster and faster. I clutched the covers and closed my eyes. Maik was really doing a very good job, too good, actually. Much better than my last girlfriend. I quickly dismissed that thought and concentrated only on what I felt.
Maik started slowly, kissing me from my loins to the insides of my thighs before getting down to the 'real thing' and touching my cock with his lips. His tongue played with my glans, licking it gently, igniting indescribable feelings within me. He repeatedly stroked my legs with his hands, making me feel all wet and fuzzy. I wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. Maik must have noticed this, too, because he became more intense and began sucking on my best part like an ice cream, until he was practically sucking on it. Finally, he took my cock completely into his mouth, and I felt the warmth enveloping it. He let his lips glide over it faster and faster until finally, with a hoarse scream, I came and squirted right in his mouth. A relieved and satisfied smile spread across my face, and Maik smiled at me too. He willingly swallowed my semen and then worked his way back up, kissing and stroking me, while I tried to get my breathing under control. By the time I finally managed that, Maik was already lying next to me, snuggled up close to me, stroking my cheek. "You're so hot!" he repeated, kissed my neck, and closed his eyes. All I could do was smile blissfully and hug him a little tighter. Then I followed his example and closed my eyes, drifting off to dreamland with him.

The next morning, I felt like my head had swollen to twice its size and become correspondingly heavier. Even as I fought to wake up, I swore to myself I'd never drink alcohol again, though I'd forget about it by next weekend at the latest. After all, I knew myself very well.
After a while, I laboriously opened my eyes and blinked in the bright sunlight that shone through the window and fell onto the bed. Maik was lying next to me, asleep. Wait a minute. Maik was lying next to me? Okay, nothing new. But so close? And naked too? To my horror, I realized I was naked too. Groaning, I clutched my aching head and tried to remember what had happened yesterday.
"Blow me!" I heard myself saying in the past, and I rolled my eyes. Oh, no! Maik hadn't... Yes, he had, I remembered. And me? Had I given him a blowjob too? I couldn't find an answer in my sketchy memories. I only knew that something had happened, but what, that was the question. Whatever it was, it was definitely bad; something like that shouldn't happen between best friends if you wanted to remain best friends.
After minutes of pondering, I finally carefully separated myself from Maik, not wanting to wake him, and got up. First, I found myself some new shorts and went to the shower in the bathroom next door. When I stepped out of my room, my dad was already greeting me in a good mood, and I hastily closed the door behind me so he wouldn't see Maik naked. I didn't want him to think anything wrong with me.
"Good morning, little one! Did you sleep well?" "So-so," I grumbled, and my dad laughed. "You look like you two didn't have much beer left. How long did you have to do it?" "I have no idea," came my short reply, and my dad must have realized I was too old to talk to him yet, because he left me alone and went back to his coffee. Relieved that I wouldn't have to endure any more questions, I went into the bathroom, took off my underwear, and jumped in the shower, although jumping wasn't quite the right word, because I waited until the water was warm. Yes, I admit, I'm a wimp, so what?
Anyway, I was just using my shampoo when I heard the bathroom door open. Since the foam was running from my hair and down my face, I couldn't see who came in, but really, it could only be one person anyway, since my dad had the decency to avoid the bathroom while I was in the shower. So, it was Maik.
That's exactly who pushed the curtain aside and approached me from behind. I felt his hands on my stomach as he hugged me and kissed my wet neck. "Morning, sweetie!" he trilled in my ear. I freed myself from his grip and looked into his face. He looked just as tired and worn out as I did, yet he was beaming like a Cheshire cat. "Morning," I simply said, probably a little unfriendly, because his smile disappeared and he looked at me blankly. "What's wrong?" he asked. I wanted, no, I had to tell him that whatever had happened between us yesterday was only because of the alcohol and that I really wasn't gay, but that made me a little uncomfortable in the shower, so I just said, "Could you maybe wait until I'm finished showering?" "Why? I'm already here." Sighing, I rolled my eyes and pressed the shampoo into his hand. Then I got out of the shower, wrapped my towel around my waist, and left the bathroom, leaving a completely confused Maik behind. Once I got to my room, I dried myself off, got dressed, and then joined my dad, as I couldn't bear to see the place where I had been with Maik yesterday...
"Coffee?" my father asked me, pointing at the pot. I nodded, even though I never usually drank that stuff, and sat down on one of the chairs at the kitchen table. While he poured me a cup and I absentmindedly sipped it, he watched me the whole time, which was obviously uncomfortable. Sure, he couldn't see inside me and had no idea what was going on in my head, but I still didn't feel particularly comfortable. "Is there any beer left?" he wanted to know after a while. I just shrugged. With a meaningful grin, my dad got up, put his empty cup in the dishwasher, and glanced in the fridge. "Hmm... Well... Yes..." he mumbled. "There are still a few bottles here." He closed the fridge again. "That'll probably be enough for today," he grinned, and I shuddered in disgust. "What?" He acted surprised. "Don't tell me you don't want one tonight?" "Dad, please..." I grumbled. "All right, all right," he soothed me. "I won't say anything else." "Fine," I sighed. There was silence for a while. I continued sipping my coffee, and my dad looked out the window. I would have loved to know what he was thinking as he stared so longingly at the blue sky. "Where were you yesterday?" I asked, as casually as possible. He turned to me, but didn't meet my eyes. "Oh, everywhere... and nowhere." "I see," I said. "And where is nowhere?" I waited in vain for an answer. He remained silent, looking as if he was thinking carefully about what to say next. I made the decision for him. "Did you at least have a good night?" "Oh, yes!" he beamed, and there was a certain light in his eyes. It was clear; My father had a girlfriend. Why didn't he admit it? Before I could ask any more questions, Maik entered the kitchen, now fully dressed. "Good morning, Philip!" he greeted my dad, who was visibly relieved to no longer have to withstand my curiosity. He claimed that he was on first name terms with him because otherwise my dad would feel too old.
"Morning, Maik!" he replied kindly. "Hope you slept well?" "You did!" Maik confirmed, smiling at me, but I avoided his gaze. "Well..." My dad grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the table. "I'll leave you alone then," he said, and disappeared onto the balcony. With a sigh, I stood up and poured the contents of my cup into the sink. The stuff tasted absolutely disgusting, and it didn't wake me up. "Is there any more coffee?" Maik asked. I nodded and stood by the window while he served himself. "You're in a bad mood, aren't you?" he said, and I nodded again, gazing up at the blue sky. I think I was a lot like my father, and not just in appearance. We were silent for the rest of 'breakfast' and then went to my room, which I was reluctant to enter. Maik started packing his things because his parents demanded that he be home promptly at twelve o'clock on Saturdays to have lunch with the whole family. Unlike me, the spoiled only child, he had three younger siblings and both parents. And Saturdays were always a big family get-together, since we rarely saw each other during the week.
I sat down on my desk chair (I didn't dare sit on the bed) and watched him pick up his clothes from the floor and stuff them into his backpack. Then he gathered the CDs he'd brought with him, and ten minutes later, everything was packed. He made sure he'd thought of everything with one last look before closing his backpack and sitting down on the bed. "So?" He looked at me. "What time are you coming tonight?" I usually stayed over at his place on Saturdays, so my dad had the apartment to himself one day a week. "I don't know," I replied, and felt like slapping myself for that. "Uh... I mean, I don't think so," I corrected myself. "Huh?" Maik looked questioning. "Why not?" "I need to sleep off my hangover first." "Oh, right. Hmm." He thought about it for a moment. "That's a shame. But if you don't want to." I shook my head. "Not today. Really. My head is still pounding." "After what you drank, no wonder," he grinned. "But I'm not feeling any better, believe me." "Well then," I mumbled. The entire time we spoke, I didn't look him in the eye once. Nervously, I fumbled with my T-shirt. "Are you upset?" Maik finally wanted to know. I nodded. Hesitantly, still looking at the floor, I began: "About yesterday..." "Yes?" "That...what happened...between us." I paused when Maik took my hand and smiled at me. "That was great!" he said, but when he saw my expression, his smile disappeared. "Don't you think so?" he asked uncertainly. "I don't know," I said, staring at the wall. "Somehow...no...yes...yes..." I sighed. "I mean...my...I want to say...I..." There was a pause. "Oh, man. I hate stuttering." Maik smiled again, albeit cautiously. "What are you trying to say?" I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts. "I'm not gay," I explained, finally looking him straight in the eye. "I know," Maik said. "Yeah, but, I mean, what happened yesterday was just because of the alcohol. I'm not into boys, not into you, and I'm not in love with you or anything." I finished, waiting for his reaction. Had I hurt him? Maybe I shouldn't have said it so directly. Maik let go of my hand and returned my gaze, which showed no emotion. "It's okay," he said. "How?" "Yeah," he shrugged, "I don't know what you're making such a fuss about. I know you're not gay, and you could have told me earlier in the shower that that hasn't changed..." "That was awkward," I interrupted. He grinned. "Oh, come on! First you get a blowjob and then you're embarrassed when you're in the shower together." I blushed. "Man, Manu! You're really that kind of guy." He stood up and slapped me on the back of the head. "Ouch!" I exclaimed, acting as if he had really hurt me. "You brute!" He laughed and stuck his tongue out at me. "Not at all!" "Indeed!" I insisted, returning his gesture. My piercing was visible, glittering in the sun. "Oh, by the way..." Maik began, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. "By the way, tongue piercings are annoying when kissing." "Tsk!" I said, and also got up to accompany him to the apartment door. "No one's complained yet." "Well, it's about time." We went into the hallway and Maik slipped on his shoes and jacket. "But seriously," he said. "Well, I'm definitely not getting anything like that. It's really annoying." "What do you mean?" I asked, offended, and looked around for my father. "Are you saying I'm a bad kisser?" I challenged Maik after making sure my dad was still, or rather, again, standing on the balcony. "Not that," he explained with a grin. "But that thing is just annoying." "Oh, come on. Just go home," I laughed and pushed him toward the door. "What do you know?" He swatted my hand away and stepped into the stairwell. "Probably more than you do." "Yeah, yeah. Sure." "I know, for example..." he began slowly, "where your underwear is. But don't think I'm going to tell you where." With those words, he turned around and marched towards the stairs. "What do you mean?" I called after him, but he just grinned. "See you at school!" he crooned and waved once more before disappearing. As soon as he was gone, I rushed into my room and searched it from top to bottom. Sure enough, the shorts I'd worn yesterday were gone. "Maik, you bastard!" I thought, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

I spent the rest of the day as I had told Maik I would: I slept off my hangover. Before I did, however, I made my bed, which my dad watched with a questioning look, because I didn't usually do that after a boy had spent the night with me. Luckily, he didn't say anything, and I could safely go to bed, even though I didn't feel entirely comfortable about it. I thought again about what had happened between Maik and me yesterday, at least as far as I could remember. I should have not done that, because when I fell asleep an hour later, the event was still haunting me. I dreamed about the two of us swimming in a giant beer keg, and Maik eventually just sank, and I had to rescue him. When I pulled him to shore, he didn't move, so I was forced to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, which quickly turned into a French kiss as soon as he came to his senses. Just before I woke up, I tried to take off his shorts and realized he was wearing mine from the previous night.
The dream wore me out, and the next one wasn't any better. I don't know how many times I fell asleep and woke up that Saturday, but it must have been several. All day and all night I tossed and turned restlessly, and that was only because my best friend wouldn't let me go. When I was awake, I thought of him, saw him in my mind's eye, and heard his voice, and when I slept, he haunted me even in the craziest dreams. This insane state lasted all day Sunday, and the following week didn't get any better, especially since I saw Maik every day at school and he sat next to me.
My dad looked at me more and more strangely with each passing day, as my condition remained unchanged, but he remained silent. He knew that I would tell him myself if something was bothering me, and that asking questions wouldn't help. Besides, there were things he wouldn't tell me, like what happened to his girlfriend, whom he was going to see again on Friday. I stayed alone that day; I had canceled on Maik, which he accepted without argument. He must have noticed, too, that something was wrong. But being the good friend he was, he didn't force me to say anything.
So I had another evening to myself to think about it, and that's exactly what I did. With every passing minute, my despair grew, and with every passing hour, my worries piled up. I was actually afraid of becoming gay. But was that even a possibility? Of course, all I could think about was Maik. I missed him when he wasn't there, and I was all the happier when I saw him. Every now and then, a storm of butterflies would run through my stomach, and my heart had been racing alarmingly often lately. Since I wasn't exactly bad-looking, if I did say so myself, three girls were interested in me at the time, but I didn't want any of them, I didn't want any girl at all; something inside me just wanted Maik. But as nature is, you also had your common sense, and it told me it was just a phase and it would pass. There were also the thoughts I had about my dad, what he would do if he knew about my feelings, and what all my other friends would do.

The following Saturday, the chaos was disturbed for the first time, and for a moment I didn't have time to think about Maik and the entire situation. It was the third Saturday without Maik, and although I had told my father I was going to his place and spending the night there, in reality I had spent the whole day walking around the city. I hadn't had a destination, but that didn't matter. I just needed to run, clear my head, and get away from all the stress. Unfortunately, I hadn't been very successful, because when I unlocked the apartment door at around 9:30 p.m., the same problems were still circling around in my head. But, as I said, I forgot about them for a moment when I stood in the living room door and finally learned the reason why my dad had never told me anything about his girlfriend.
So there I stood, in orange pants and a dark green T-shirt, and I must have already looked crazy, as my jaw literally dropped open in astonishment. Sitting there on the sofa were my dad and his girlfriend, arm in arm, looking back just as shocked. My dad immediately took his arm away and tried to come up with some kind of explanation, but I wasn't listening anyway. I just stared at his girlfriend, looking like a car, only not as fast, and I no longer knew which way was up. The way she sat there, so close to my dad, almost on his lap! I thought she was trying to say something too, but I couldn't hear anything at the moment anyway. All I could see was black hair, light blue eyes, a tight black T-shirt, and light blue jeans; slim, with a silver chain around her neck and a piercing in her left ear. So that was her. It wouldn't have been so bad, she wasn't ugly, the problem was – she wasn't a she at all. She was a guy! My own dad was gay! Sitting on our sofa was a man I'd never seen in my life, who had just been cuddling with my father. It was too much for me. I wished I had a chair to sit down on, but of course there wasn't one in the hallway, so I just clung to the doorframe. "I..." I began, finding my voice again. "I think... I think I made a mistake about the door," I stammered, and tried to turn around and leave, but my legs gave way. My dad had jumped up and was walking towards me. "Manu," he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out like this." He paused and bit his lower lip. "I thought you were with Maik," he said hesitantly. A flash of lightning shot through me. "Maik!" I repeated, as if in a trance. "Yes... Yes, exactly, that's where I wanted to go too... I mean, I was there too, but I forgot something really urgent," I stammered and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me. I'd barely thrown myself onto my bed when there was a knock. "Not now!" I cried and began to cry quietly into my pillow. My dad apparently understood that I wanted to be alone, because there was no further knock and I could let the tears flow freely. I didn't know why I was crying. I probably just needed to get rid of all the frustration and heartbreak I was now clearly experiencing because of Maik. Why was life so complicated? How could you just fall in love with someone you'd known your whole life, but until a certain moment had only harbored friendly feelings for? Why hadn't my dad told me the truth right away and now made me look like a complete idiot who obviously couldn't get along with gay people? He didn't know that Maik was gay too. And he didn't know that I was about to become gay too. But he could have said something anyway! Since when was he gay, anyway? If he had always been gay, I shouldn't even exist now. I wished that were true. I wished I were dead. I wanted to die. "No!" I thought, wiping away the tears. I wanted something else. After a brief hesitation, I picked up the phone and dialed Maik's number. It rang once, twice, three times. Finally, Maik answered. "Yes?" "Hey, Maiki!" I said as casually as possible. "Manu!" I heard him call happily on the other end of the line. "Wow, you're calling again. What's up?" "I need to talk to you," I explained. "No, I have something to tell you and I have something to confess to you," I corrected myself. "Oh yeah?" Maik sounded surprised. "Well, then go ahead." "Not on the phone," I replied. "Can I come over? Can I sleep over at your place tonight?" "Hmm. Yes, fine," he answered hesitantly. "I'm just surprised that you're suddenly... how should I say it? You haven't been here in a long time." "I know," I sighed. "And I'm sorry. If you only knew how sorry I am. But I just have to come to you today, it's very important!" "If that's the case, then just come over," said Maik. "But my doorbell is broken, so I'll wait for you downstairs and you'll have to knock, okay?" "Sure," I replied. "Oh, and Maik?" "Yes?" "Is it bad if I don't come for another hour?" "An hour?" "Yes, I have something else to do." "No, no problem. I'll wait for you," he said, and I could just imagine his grin. "I should hope so," I grinned back, relieved that he'd forgiven me so easily. After a quick goodbye, I hung up and took a deep breath. I really wanted to talk to my dad, and I wanted to talk to him now. The longer I put it off, the worse it would get, and anyway... Nothing could go wrong.
So I gathered up all my courage and stepped out of my room. The sofa was empty by now, and there was no one in the kitchen either. Since I assumed they wouldn't be in the bathroom either, the only options left were the bedroom and the balcony. They were next to each other, and just as I was about to knock on the bedroom door, I heard voices through the open balcony door. So I changed my destination and stepped outside into the cool night air. The strange guy had his arm around my dad again, and they were standing by the railing smoking. Neither of them noticed me until I cleared my throat and got their attention. Immediately, the stranger took his arm off Dad. When I saw his face, I was slightly startled. It looked a little like he had been crying, but I wasn't sure.
"I..." I began, clearing my throat again. I had to collect myself first so I wouldn't start stuttering again. "I'm sorry for how I behaved," I said in a fairly firm voice. The two of them just looked at me silently. They were obviously waiting for me to continue. But if I were honest, I didn't know what to say. The way they were both staring at me, it wasn't exactly easy for me to open my mouth. Somewhat helplessly, I looked from my dad to the stranger, back to my dad, and back to the guy I'd never seen before. After an internal sigh and a little nudge from myself, I tried to smile at him, which I actually managed quite well. "By the way, I'm Manu. I don't think we've met yet," I said, and my smile grew firmer. "Nice to meet you," the stranger said uncertainly. "I'm Daniel." "Great," I nodded. "And you?" I asked my dad. He was obviously a bit out of it. "Me? You know my name." Daniel and I laughed. "Yeah, but I thought you might want to say something too," I said, joining them at the railing and looking at the stars. "Could have been." There was a brief silence, which I, of course, broke, because the adults still didn't quite dare to speak. "Can I have one too?" I asked, looking at the pack of cigarettes lying next to me. "Those aren't mine," my dad explained. "Those are Daniel's." "You're welcome to have one," he said, and I lit a cigarette gratefully. "How long have you been smoking?" my father wanted to know. "I have no idea." I shrugged and watched the smoke disperse into the darkness of the night. "For a while. I don't really smoke much myself, but now I just need it." A few puffs passed before I continued. "I don't smoke nearly as much as you." My dad grinned sheepishly. He really did smoke a lot, but that wasn't the topic at the moment. "But that's not the topic," I repeated my thoughts out loud. "You lied to me," I accused my dad. "Well, okay, you were hiding something from me," I corrected myself. "But what you were hiding from me is something important, something I would have liked to have known. After all, I tell you everything, almost everything... Don't you trust your son, or something? Am I not trustworthy? I think so. If someone tells me something, I can keep my mouth shut and not tell everyone, and I'm tolerant and anyway... It's your business who you love and who you don't," I blurted out, and I paused to collect my thoughts and rejoice in the fact that I had seen my dad smile for the first time this evening. Apparently it was because of the last sentence I had said. "I just didn't know how you felt about gays," he said. "We've never talked about it." "Hmm. You're right..." I admitted. "I'm happy to tell you how I feel about it. After all, I'm not a Nazi, and I'm not one of those other idiots who think only straight people are normal and gays are crazy, and I don't think being gay is an illness. I know it's simply a different form of love, even if that sounds shitty..." I grinned crookedly. "I rarely talk about things like that. Anyway, I have nothing against gays." My dad and Daniel smiled at me with relief. "Incidentally, besides you two, someone else I know is gay." "Oh yeah? Who?" my dad asked, surprised. "I won't tell," I chuckled. "You, maybe?" Daniel said. I looked at him, annoyed and taken aback at the same time. "I wasn't actually talking about me," I explained. "Oh, sorry then!" he said. "It doesn't matter," I grinned, stubbed out my cigarette, and after a short pause, said goodbye. "I think I'll go then." "Where are you going?" my dad asked. "To Maik's. He's probably already waiting for me." "Well then. We don't want to keep you." I nodded, thought for a moment, and then hugged my dad, something I hadn't done in a long time. He returned the hug, a little surprised, but when I pulled away, he smiled at me gratefully. "I'm really glad I have such a tolerant son," he beamed. "Well, you can be really proud of me!" I beamed back, and the three of us laughed. Finally, I said goodbye to Daniel and finally left the two of them alone. I think they deserved it. But not only her, I also deserved something now: to hop on my bike and ride to Maik's, which I did without delay. Thousands of butterflies fluttered in my stomach again as I rode along the dark streets, meter by meter approaching his house.

"You won't believe it!" I said when we got to Maik's room. He had slumped down on the bed, and I was standing in the middle of the room with my hands on my hips. "What?" he asked curiously. "My dad's gay!" I blurted out. "Can you believe that?" He grinned. "Of course! I always knew it!" I rolled my eyes. "Man, he's really gay! When I got home today, he and his friend were sitting arm in arm on the couch." I laughed when I saw Maik's expression. His jaw dropped just like mine had, but he recovered much faster than me and was grinning again after a few seconds. "So?" he asked, his eyes shining. I sighed. "I don't know. I think..." I shrugged. "I think I'm gay too." He chuckled. "That's not what I meant. But I'm glad you told me." "Oh no? What did you want to know then?" I asked, frowning. "What your dad's friend looks like." I immediately slammed a pillow in his face. "You're stupid!" I laughed, sitting down next to him on the bed. "Well, as far as I can tell, he's pretty good-looking." "Well, then. That's great for your dad!" "Mhm," I said, letting my head sink onto his shoulder. "But what about me?" "What about you? You'll find someone too." "And who?" "Who do you want?" he said with a mischievous smile and put his arm around my waist. A heartbreaking sigh escaped my throat. "I don't really know," I lied. "Hmm." Maik looked me in the eyes. "Should I tell you who I want?" His face now had a completely serious expression. I nodded. "Should I tell you or should I show you?" "Show me? Yes, if you can," I said. "I can. I just don't know if you want to." "Just do it," I urged him, and he showed me the person he loved more than anything in the world.

Hours later, I was still lying wide awake in bed with my sweetheart and could hardly believe it. He had laid his head on my chest and was already fast asleep. I stroked his hair lovingly and listened to him murmur my name every now and then in his sleep. Smiling happily, I pulled the covers a little further over Maik's shoulders and put my arm around him. My childhood buddy and I! Unbelievable – but true. I really did resemble my dad in more than just looks. I laughed quietly to myself as I imagined his face when I told him about Maik and me. But maybe he already suspected something, because when I told him earlier that I was going to Maik's, he had smiled so strangely.
I continued to think about the whole story, about my dad and his friend, and of course about me and Maik, and I still couldn't believe it. I was happier than I'd ever been in my life because I had finally found what I'd been looking for for so long, and I was happy for my dad and Daniel, who finally didn't have to hide from me anymore.
I don't know why anymore, maybe it was because I couldn't sleep or because the moon was shining so brightly through the window that you could still see everything clearly, but anyway I started looking around the room, even though I'd been there a million times. My gaze finally stopped on the wall diagonally opposite me and my smile grew wider. There was the present I had given Maik for his sixteenth birthday. It was a collage, about a meter wide and ten centimeters high, that I had made myself and consisted of dozens of half-naked men cut out of newspapers. All you could see were toned stomachs, tight butts and muscular upper arms and all these individual snippets together formed one word: Sixteen.
I smiled. In two weeks I would be seventeen, but one thing was clear: I would never forget this year.