2025-07-12, 03:53 PM
"Fuck you bitch! Damn it! This damn thing never does what it's supposed to," I curse passionately to myself, even though I'm technically forbidden to do so. Like so many things, I'm forbidden to do, but...do I stick to it? No. Never. So... "FUCK YOU BITCH!" By the way, this damn thing is my ancient crimper...for crimping my hair, you know?! Because God, out of cruel malice, stuck some flimsy shit on my head, and to make it even remotely resemble hair, I have to hold the stupid thing on for hours. Now, because this stupid thing is obviously completely fucked, I've singed, messed up, and tangled up my hair again and I look like a complete little idiot.
That's it. Goodbye, Crimper! I'll buy a new one and then see what you get!
So, with semi-wavy, pink, chin-length hair, which I've tied into two funny braids, my fluttering Pink Panther dress, ripped stockings, and high-heeled Docs, I set off. I have a mission to fulfill, and I'm already behind schedule. You'd think that such a task would be left to the elitist, snooty (because they have wings) sweethearts up there, but no... I have to get to it. As if I have nothing better to do. And the sweethearts are lying around on their lazy bones, or rather, on their wings, singing Hallelujah the whole time. It's about time someone up there put their foot down and got them off their damn asses.
An annoying growl tells me that I'm apparently thinking bad things again. I ignore it. The main thing is that I don't get struck by lightning.
On my way to the everything-here-is-it shopping paradise, I don't get a lightning strike, but I do get a wide-eyed look. Okay, it's summer and about a thousand degrees, but does this male luminary really have to sit in my favorite café, spooning away at a giant ice cream sundae with double and triple cream if I want to buy a crimper?!
"Are you doing this on purpose?" I ask up at the blue sky, earning strange looks from a very overweight grandmother walking her very overweight dachshund. This shining figure is so engrossed in the ice cream that I feel completely different. Totally ecstatic, his tongue flicks so obscenely over his hardcore pout that I almost want to lick my lips like crazy. Mmm, he has delicate hands...I can see that.
He probably plays the piano or is a masseur. In any case, he wears his black hair in a trendy fringed style on and around his head. He casually sweeps his long bangs back from his face. A delicate silver cord dangles from his wrist, glittering in the sun. Well, that he's wearing a Berlin shirt...in Berlin...okay, that's for him to decide.
I mentally file the mission and the crimper in the 'important but not today' folder and stroll provocatively past the shining light. I mean, I want to stroll provocatively, but I'm so stupid that I trip over my long shoelaces and stumble. Damn, I should have tied those damn shoes. Anyway, I have to grab the shining light's chair to avoid landing on my ass, and I say something like, "Oops."
The shining light catches me with a charming grin. "So this is your usual gimmick?" Uh...what??
"You'd better sit down and tie your shoes," he explains, continuing to spoon at his ice cream. A hint of caramel wafts around my nose. I feel like dying. He has a beautiful voice. He has a beautiful mouth. And anyway...I've just developed a crush.
"What do you mean, usual trick?" I ask drowsily.
"Well, that's just it...your little flag that you're carrying, a little wiggle of your butt, a little provocative bouncing of your boobs, and whoops..."
Is he out of his mind? How is he talking to me?
"I tripped," I answer, stunned, and begin to lace up my 14-hole Doc's properly.
"No wonder you're so stuck and one of us has to step in. We really have enough to do," he sighs.
"Have you taken drugs? What the hell are you talking about?"
A loud thunderclap directly above my head makes me jump. I should have known. He can't do anything for the devil.
"About your protégé going to bed alone night after night because he hasn't won his sweetheart yet. What have you actually been doing here?"
Wow...he knows a lot. "Who the hell are you and what do you know about my protégé?"
"I'm one of those elitist, snooty, winged darlings."
Oh shit!!!
A day like any other for Daniel. Boring school lessons, alone during recess, watching the others have fun, going home, eating alone, sitting alone in his room.
When he started high school, everything was still fine. He was a completely normal, somewhat quiet kid with friends. But that changed suddenly. Not that he became louder and/or livelier, but his friends thought he was weird. You know how it is...he wore the wrong clothes, had the wrong haircut, said the wrong things (when he did say anything), moved the wrong way, was interested in the wrong things...that sort of thing. On top of that, he was a bit softer than a boy should be, a little naive and goofy...suddenly, Daniel was a top-notch outsider. He still is, and has since turned sixteen.
With a sigh, he puts on his favorite CD and turns to his homework. Daniel is anything but a nerd, but...does he perhaps have something else to do in the afternoon besides homework? No, he doesn't.
"Wow...what a loser," hisses the bright figure sitting next to me at the window, staring through the binoculars. "Of course he has no friends. We've been staring at his life for three days now, and what does he do? School, homework, washing his hands, and off to bed. That's just a cover, of course...no one can be that boring. And you?" he asks, turning his beautiful head in my direction. "You haven't done anything yet, have you?"
Man, I honestly feel a tiny bit guilty. I mean, I've done so much... gone out, thrown wild parties, seduced a few cute Earthlings... I've been really lazy when it comes to Daniel. But the stupid shining light doesn't need to know that.
"I," I answer as snottily as I can, crossing my stockinged legs, "have already made contact with him."
"You stumbled into his arms, didn't you?" he grins.
Asshole!
"I'm his tutor. Good Aunt Scholastica. Where do you think his excellent grades come from?"
"Phh...I'm impressed. However, it wasn't your job to make him a little genius."
I shrug. "It's included in the price."
"Listen, Aunt Scholastica...I'm not here to help you," he explains, nibbling on his last slice of pizza, "but because HE really dislikes your work ethic, okay. If you spend all night hanging around who knows where and with who knows who, it's clear you're not getting anything done. You're not here on vacation."
"And you're not here to stuff yourself," I hiss angrily, practically ripping the pizza slice away from his mouth.
He gives me a dark look, puts the binoculars up to his eyes, and jumps up in disgust a moment later. "Oh my God..."
»Was'n?«
He flails his arms in agitation. "He's jerking off," he shrieks shrilly. "In broad daylight."
"Really?" I hastily grab the binoculars and rush to the window. "Where?"
"You don't want to watch this, do you?"
"Yes. What do you mind?" I ask, looking for my protégé.
“That’s disgusting,” the shining light remarks, pissed off.
"That's great," I rave. "Finally, some action...oh wow...he seems to be thinking about something really hot, the way he's going," I giggle.
Daniel is practically lying in his monstrous black leather desk chair. His eyes are closed and his hand is moving with remarkable speed.
Hazel-brown strands of hair hang in his face, and his lips are slightly parted. He looks pretty...what can I say?! I like the show. I'm just an old voyeur. But before Daniel is finished, my view, or rather, my binoculars, are blocked.
“Stop it now,” yells the shining light.
"Party pooper," I pout, sticking my tongue out at him.
"We'll come up with a sensible plan now. Otherwise I'll be stuck here in this dump forever."
"Hey, nothing against my apartment, yes. I did it all myself," I explain proudly, because my old apartment has truly turned out breathtakingly beautiful. For example, I painted the kitchen red and there are golden cherubs and other gold knick-knacks hanging everywhere.
My bedroom is dusty pink with a huge four-poster bed and lots of kitsch. The bathroom, on the other hand, looks like a lagoon. Blue-green-turquoise, funny fish, shells, and seahorses are stuck to the tiles, ivy creeps from the ceiling, and I got this awesome blue-transparent toilet seat with fish on it from the hardware store. In the living room is my beloved dark green leather couch (which looks like something out of a cheap 70s porno), a low table, a TV, and other such things. The most beautiful thing in my apartment, however, is an absurd frog table I found in the trash. It's a wooden frog on four legs that holds my phone.
I could still kiss Jeanne for discovering it but then, after much pestering, giving it to me. Incidentally, people who see the frog table for the first time usually seem a little unsettled.
"Good for you," replies The Shining One, strolls to the fridge and comes back with a pot of cookies and cream ice cream.
"Isn't gluttony a mortal sin?"
“And laziness?” he counters.
"Touch."
He lies down on the porn couch and spoons his ice cream. "So, Schola, let's hear what you've come up with for Daniel."
Martin wraps a towel around his waist and dries his straw-blond hair with another. Hot clouds follow him from the shower room into the locker room, where he heads for his seat, glances briefly to his left, and shakes his head. On the left sits the idiot from his class, the one everyone makes fun of. Today, there was also trouble with the PE teacher. Daniel had forgotten his gym clothes...like every Tuesday. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Daniel's furtive glance and hopes for his sake that he's the only one. If the others notice that Daniel apparently enjoys staring at boys' butts, he can make his will...Martin thinks as he gets dressed. It's funny how you can really get away with anything here...drugs, alcohol, women, troubles with the police, obesity, lousy grades, pimply faces...but if you're a guy who thinks another guy is attractive, you've screwed up. And if you're as soft and sensitive as Daniel, you really have nothing to laugh about.
"Hey, Schröder, what's up? Are you coming to Conny's party on Saturday?" A stark naked boy slaps him hard on the back.
“Man, Sascha, stop that shit,” Martin hisses.
"Why are you so pissed off?" he asks, getting dressed. "Because of Lena? Forget that cow. If she dumps you...find something new."
"I broke up with you, asshole. And in case you're wondering, we're still friends, so be careful what you say about Lena."
The boy shrugs and ties his shoes. "Fine. Anyway, Conny's totally hot for you, and since you're free now..."
Martin sighs in annoyance. This kind of chatter is getting on his nerves. Just as he's getting fed up with the parties and his so-called friends, who have absolutely no idea what's going on with him. Only Lena knows everything...almost everything. That's why he broke up with her.
"Well, see you later," Sascha calls and leaves the locker room.
"I can't believe that," Martin mutters, stuffing his stuff into his bag and looking over at Daniel. "Do we still have math?"
The boy's cheeks turn a slightly reddish color. "Uh...yes, after free period. Why?"
"Then tell me I'm sick. I'm going home."
»Okay.«
In his room, Martin throws himself onto the bed, reaches for the phone and dials.
"Hey, Lena."
"Oh...hi," a voice chirps in his ear. "Why aren't you in math?"
"No nerve," he replies. "Listen, what we discussed yesterday...that's just between us, right? I mean..."
"What do you think? That I'm one of those stupid gossips? Or that I'm dragging you into it because we broke up? Honestly, Martin, I'm glad you told me the truth. I was already doubting my sanity... well, and yours too," she giggles. "Don't stress."
"I just can't handle it yet, and I don't even know if I..."
"Well, I think you..." she interrupts.
Martin puts a hand over his eyes and sighs. "Man, why me, huh?"
"I don't know. But if that's the way it is, that's the way it is. So stop complaining and do something."
"Toller Tipp," he grumbled.
»No risk no fun. Ran an den Speck, Martin.«
"Yeah, yeah. Look, can we meet later...for hot chocolate at ULTRA?"
"Okay, babe. I'll be there around eight. Love you."
"I love you too. And Lena...thank you."
After hanging up, he closes his eyes and...sighs. And he dreams. Dreams again about that one person he shouldn't dream about.
At about the same time, I'm sitting next to my protégé, trying to teach him English. Well, he's doing pretty well. If only he weren't so nervous. But...hey, who doesn't get nervous when a beauty of my caliber is sitting next to them?!
"So, sweetheart...do you think next week's essay will be okay?"
"I think so," he murmurs quietly.
I fiddle a bit with the rosary I wear around my neck. "How are you otherwise?"
"Uh...what?"
"Well...what's going on at school and after school? Are you still going out, for example? I mean, at this time of day, all the boys and girls your age are probably out and about."
"Not me."
"Yes, I see that. Why not? Not in the mood, or what?"
He looks at me in pain. "It's just stupid being alone. You're my only social contact."
Well, he's not telling me any news. While he pours me a glass of juice, I look him over. Cute, I immediately think. He's lanky, but not skinny; he has a cute button nose, pretty lips, and slender, slim fingers. Man, the way he shyly tugs at his slightly too-long sleeves makes you want to immediately take him in your arms and cuddle him. Of course, that's completely forbidden for me.
"You know what, Dani...we're going to ULTRA later, and you can treat me to a delicious stracciatella cappuccino. What do you think?"
His eyes widen. "You...you want to go out with me?"
"Secure."
"Um...well, okay. Isn't this a joke either?" he asks cautiously.
"How did you come to that conclusion?"
"Because everyone's making fun of me. Seems to be hip right now."
I cross my legs and bat my eyelashes. "Am I everyone?" Then I jump up. "Hey, I'll cut your hair, okay? The way it is now, it looks pretty shitty, you know?!"
He clutches his head and looks dejected. He may have been a bit too direct, but...his messed-up haircut is just disgusting.
Mmm...Dani uses peach shampoo. Oh, it smells amazing. Wow, and his hair is really soft. It's fun to rummage through it. I also notice that Daniel has very cute little ears and a neck that makes you want to nibble on it. Yeah, I'm not allowed to, so I concentrate on the cut.
After exactly 43 minutes, I'm finished, and Daniel looks stunning. His hazel-brown hair is beautifully messy, and his long bangs hang so close to his face that he has to brush them to the side. Very good...that's always hot with guys.
"And you think I'll make friends this way?" he asks skeptically, tearing up the work of art I've just created.
“Don’t touch that,” I scream in panic, but quickly regain control.
"Of course a new hairstyle alone isn't enough, sweetheart." Sighing, I flop down onto his bed. "I don't know why you're making this so difficult."
"Me? But the others are..."
"Oh, screw the others," I snarl. "Honestly, Dani, you just need to bang your fist on the table at school. When those idiots try to make fun of you... insult them like crazy for a change instead of just letting them get away with it."
"Of course...they'll beat me up right away."
"They'll be so surprised they won't even think about it. I realize you can't physically compete with those idiots, but...you have to make them feel like you can. It's not about muscle power, you know?! Whoever yells the loudest and curses the best wins."
"But I can't shout and swear loudly."
"Sure, you can. The next time someone gives you a dirty talk, just yell "FUCK YOU BITCH" in their face. Or you can tell them nicely to go fuck themselves. And that if they don't leave you alone, you'll smash their stupid face against the fucking wall."
He shakes his pretty head.
"Well, I'll change now and then pick you up later, okay?"
When I get to my apartment, the shining light is lounging on the couch eating marshmallows.
"And...did he take the bait?" he asks, licking chocolate from his finger.
"You could have easily figured that out yourself if you'd gotten your ass off the couch. And I don't just mean to go to the fridge."
"Uh, Schola, don't dress too daring. After all, he should be crushing on his own kind, not drooling over your holy ass all evening."
You little idiot, I think to myself, grinning to myself. "Don't worry, he'll fall madly in love today. Then you, Hocus Pocus, can fly back to where you came from, and I'll finally be free. I can do whatever I want."
"I don't understand why you're so keen on living here."
"I could have wished for a pair of wings, too, but then I'd have to endure someone like you forever and ever. No, I'd rather do my own thing down here and have fun. You're all such total bores. Rejoicing and dancing around the apple tree with blissful smiles...very amusing," I reply, yawning demonstratively.
"Anyway, we're not whoring around."
"If you did, maybe you wouldn't be so uptight."
"And you should reflect a little on what you once were."
Man, here he comes again with those ancient stories. "I've been the chaste nun long enough, eh?"
He crosses his arms across his chest. "Your halo is starting to crumble."
"My halo has never shone brighter, you asshole," I roar angrily.
"So you think HE approves of your new lifestyle?"
"I actually think so. Listen, being abstinent for a while was, after all, my own decision. Nothing was imposed on me. All this celibacy crap is an invention of the Catholic Church, you know that as well as I do, my dear. And you can see what they get out of it. A bunch of uptight bastards who seduce little boys and girls...priests who lead double lives...children who have to grow up without a father...and when you consider how the organization deals with topics like homosexuality, it makes you so sick that you want to blow the whole mess up. What these pseudo-pious churchmen are squeezing out of their sick brains is certainly not HIS intention. Just remember what those bastards did to Jeanne. And now I don't feel like arguing with you anymore. I have to get ready to go out."
At 8:30, I'm sucking on my Kiba after a cappuccino and am almost dying of boredom. Daniel is definitely not a fun person. I mean, he can be funny when he wants to, but today he doesn't seem to want to, and of course I know exactly why. Or rather, who. Since we've been here, he's been staring across the room at the table by the window. Lena is sitting there with Martin.
"Why are you always looking there?" I ask hypocritically, at which he blushes furiously. Man, that looks incredibly sweet. "Do you know those two?"
"Uh...yeah...they're in my grade."
"Well, then we can go over and say hello."
"No," he cries out, horrified. "I mean, Martin and Lena are together and probably want to be left alone. Besides, they hate me."
"Oh, Schnickischnacki," I say, waving my hand. "You really need a couple of people around you, don't you? And if they get mean... I'll get mean too. And believe me, I'm very good at that," I grin.
"But...what should I say?"
"Well... hello. Then you can introduce me, ask if we can sit down, and the rest is child's play." I lightly poke him in the ribs. "Come on, you little coward. No risk, no fun."
Just to be on the safe side, I'll put my arm around his shoulder. I don't want him to faint or stupidly trip over his own feet. How embarrassing. We stop in front of Lena Martin's table. The girl looks at us in surprise.
"Uh...hello," mumbles Daniel, his cheeks bright red.
"Hello...what are you doing here and...what did you do with your hair?"
"That was me. Hi, I'm Scholastika."
Lena shakes her blonde-streaked head. "Wow, that name...I've never heard of it. By the way, I'm Lena, and that's Martin."
"Can we sit down?" I ask, sitting down next to Martin, who seems to be suffering from acute speech instability. "I think it's really nice to meet some of Dani's friends."
My protégé has now pulled up a chair and is sitting next to Lena. "Actually, we're not friends."
“Well, we hardly know each other,” Lena corrects.
Daniel looks at her in surprise. "We've known each other since sixth grade."
"Yes, but not really."
"Right enough to keep making fun of me."
Oh dear...don't start a fight, sweetheart. That'll ruin my beautiful plan.
"Hey," Lena raises her hands defensively, "Martin and I always left you alone, didn't we?"
"It doesn't matter. All I'm saying is, we're not friends."
"Well, that can be changed," Lena smiles and nudges Martin, who looks totally shocked.
"Uh...uh, what?"
Wow...who taught him to talk? Well, it doesn't matter, because Martin has a cuteness about him that even makes me feel faint. And I'm really not into teenagers. Not sexually, anyway. Er...at least not that much. So, just to give you an idea...Martin has very pretty blue-grey eyes with incredibly long, thick eyelashes and a head of straw-blonde hair. And a cute little pouty face. He looks...yes, he actually looks a bit like the guy from the Rosenstolz video. The one who desperately wants to fall in love, you know?!
"I was just thinking," Lena begins, "you could come to Conny's party on Saturday..."
"Oh, I love teenage parties," I grin.
Martin looks like he's just reached into a tub of fish guts. "What's he doing there?"
“Have fun and meet people?” suggests Lena.
"You know as well as I do that the whole damn school thinks he's an idiot, and if you ask me...they're right."
Oh no, babe. That was very rude. You shouldn't lie. Daniel slowly stands up and leans across the table toward Martin. "Fuck you, Schröder," he hisses.
"Uh...excuse me?"
"Are you screwed up? Fuck you, asshole. I don't give a shit what you think about me or what the idiots at school say. And I don't feel like going to your stupid puke parties anyway." He shakes his head. "Fuck you all," he adds, and walks away.
I mentally throw my hands up in the air. I mean, wow...what a cool exit...unfortunately, the completely wrong address. Damn, he's ruining everything. Martin looks a little shocked, while Lena is giggling like an idiot.
"Man, he really gave it to you, didn't he? I wouldn't have thought he was capable of it."
"Well, I'll be there too. See you Saturday, you two," I say a hasty goodbye and hurry after my protégé.
He's standing outside, beaming from ear to ear. "So, how was I?"
“Great,” I grumble.
"What is it? I should insult him."
"You should show the school idiots what's what, not scare away your...er, your future friends, idiot."
"Didn't you hear what that asshole was babbling about?"
I'm starting to get pissed off. "You didn't have to tell him to go fuck himself three times. Once would have been enough."
"Phh..." he huffs, "I feel great."
Yes, yes, and I'm allowed to straighten everything out. How I'm supposed to do that is beyond me.
So, I went shopping with Daniel today. Clothes for the party. He can't just show up in jeans and a baggy sweater. By the way, he's been talking about Lena the whole time. The two seem to have become friends since the incident at ULTRA. I'm a little pissed off. I'm happy for Daniel's little girlfriend, I just don't like it when a guy raves about another girl in my presence. Not that Daniel raves about her that much... he just talks about how cool she is and how nice and all that. Still, it pisses me off.
"Let me take a look at you, sweetheart."
Well, man, I'm a real stylist. Daniel looks great.
Black, remarkably low-cut corduroy pants, Chucks, a black shirt with holes on the shoulders (like Brian "Sex God" Molko's in the Pure Morning video), and that new haircut...damn sexy, that kid. I've turned him into a really cute indie boy. Bravo, Schola!!
"Do you really think we should go there?" he asks uncertainly, tugging at his shirt.
"Absolutely," I reply, still patting myself on the back. The thing is so short that you always see a bit of his creamy skin. Mmm...I'd love to slip my hand under his shirt and...
"And now comes the icing on the cake."
»Huh?«
I pull him onto the bed with me and brush soft strands of hair from his face. Haha...his heart suddenly starts beating fast. How sweet! Anyway, I rub my nose against his neck and nibble a little on the velvety skin.
"Uh, Schola...what...what are you doing?"
"Hickey," I murmur, "makes an impression and looks incredibly sexy."
"Oh God...please don't," he moans, but I'm already at it.
Hey...I guess I'm allowed a little fun, right?! I don't have any other plans with him.
Okay, teen party! It's not worth wasting much time on. Dim lighting, alcohol, snacks, music, and just a bunch of teenagers. I sit down on the couch and ask myself for a moment why I'm all dressed up like this? I'm definitely not going to get a good fuck here. Anyway, it's about Daniel, after all. He's currently being besieged by Lena. Martin, as far as I can tell, is crouching gloomily in a corner, but he's surreptitiously staring at the two of them.
"Tell me, who are you?"
I turn around and look into a relatively pretty teenage face.
“Scholastika,” I whisper and stretch a little.
"Cool name. Are you a friend of Conny's? I mean, I actually know all of Conny's friends and...uh...you don't go to our school, do you? Um, I'm Sascha, by the way."
Shit, he's too young, damn it. What a pity!! "I'm here with Daniel."
"Which Daniel?"
"Daniel Berger," I reply, accidentally touching Sascha's leg with my bare knee. Schola, he's only sixteen at the most...please don't forget that!
He chokes on his beer and then looks around frantically. "What? What does he want here, and what does that idiot have to do with a dream woman like you?"
Ah...how flattering. "Daniel protected me when some sleazy guy tried to get his hands on me. He broke his nose. We...we fuck every now and then," I explain, shrugging and reminding myself not to blow my mind too far.
"With the firecracker?"
"Daniel is the coolest guy I know," I reply, "would you please get me a drink?" I have a feeling I'm going to get some work today and I don't need this charming Sascha distraction.
Daniel and Lena seem to be having a great time. They're talking and laughing the whole time, and I could swear my sweetheart is trying to flirt with her. Kerrkerrkerr...can he please do something right?!
Martin, considerably drunk, staggers towards the two of them and bumps into my little heart.
"Keep your hands off my girlfriend, you pissant."
Lena is immediately furious. "What's wrong with you? Martin, we're not together anymore."
"And what's next? Since when do you let idiots grope you?"
"And since when are you Lena's nanny?" asks Daniel, his eyes twinkling evilly.
"Shut up. What do you even want? Nobody...absolutely nobody wants you here, so why don't you get out of here?"
"Leave me in peace, Schröder."
That's it. Goodbye, Crimper! I'll buy a new one and then see what you get!
So, with semi-wavy, pink, chin-length hair, which I've tied into two funny braids, my fluttering Pink Panther dress, ripped stockings, and high-heeled Docs, I set off. I have a mission to fulfill, and I'm already behind schedule. You'd think that such a task would be left to the elitist, snooty (because they have wings) sweethearts up there, but no... I have to get to it. As if I have nothing better to do. And the sweethearts are lying around on their lazy bones, or rather, on their wings, singing Hallelujah the whole time. It's about time someone up there put their foot down and got them off their damn asses.
An annoying growl tells me that I'm apparently thinking bad things again. I ignore it. The main thing is that I don't get struck by lightning.
On my way to the everything-here-is-it shopping paradise, I don't get a lightning strike, but I do get a wide-eyed look. Okay, it's summer and about a thousand degrees, but does this male luminary really have to sit in my favorite café, spooning away at a giant ice cream sundae with double and triple cream if I want to buy a crimper?!
"Are you doing this on purpose?" I ask up at the blue sky, earning strange looks from a very overweight grandmother walking her very overweight dachshund. This shining figure is so engrossed in the ice cream that I feel completely different. Totally ecstatic, his tongue flicks so obscenely over his hardcore pout that I almost want to lick my lips like crazy. Mmm, he has delicate hands...I can see that.
He probably plays the piano or is a masseur. In any case, he wears his black hair in a trendy fringed style on and around his head. He casually sweeps his long bangs back from his face. A delicate silver cord dangles from his wrist, glittering in the sun. Well, that he's wearing a Berlin shirt...in Berlin...okay, that's for him to decide.
I mentally file the mission and the crimper in the 'important but not today' folder and stroll provocatively past the shining light. I mean, I want to stroll provocatively, but I'm so stupid that I trip over my long shoelaces and stumble. Damn, I should have tied those damn shoes. Anyway, I have to grab the shining light's chair to avoid landing on my ass, and I say something like, "Oops."
The shining light catches me with a charming grin. "So this is your usual gimmick?" Uh...what??
"You'd better sit down and tie your shoes," he explains, continuing to spoon at his ice cream. A hint of caramel wafts around my nose. I feel like dying. He has a beautiful voice. He has a beautiful mouth. And anyway...I've just developed a crush.
"What do you mean, usual trick?" I ask drowsily.
"Well, that's just it...your little flag that you're carrying, a little wiggle of your butt, a little provocative bouncing of your boobs, and whoops..."
Is he out of his mind? How is he talking to me?
"I tripped," I answer, stunned, and begin to lace up my 14-hole Doc's properly.
"No wonder you're so stuck and one of us has to step in. We really have enough to do," he sighs.
"Have you taken drugs? What the hell are you talking about?"
A loud thunderclap directly above my head makes me jump. I should have known. He can't do anything for the devil.
"About your protégé going to bed alone night after night because he hasn't won his sweetheart yet. What have you actually been doing here?"
Wow...he knows a lot. "Who the hell are you and what do you know about my protégé?"
"I'm one of those elitist, snooty, winged darlings."
Oh shit!!!
A day like any other for Daniel. Boring school lessons, alone during recess, watching the others have fun, going home, eating alone, sitting alone in his room.
When he started high school, everything was still fine. He was a completely normal, somewhat quiet kid with friends. But that changed suddenly. Not that he became louder and/or livelier, but his friends thought he was weird. You know how it is...he wore the wrong clothes, had the wrong haircut, said the wrong things (when he did say anything), moved the wrong way, was interested in the wrong things...that sort of thing. On top of that, he was a bit softer than a boy should be, a little naive and goofy...suddenly, Daniel was a top-notch outsider. He still is, and has since turned sixteen.
With a sigh, he puts on his favorite CD and turns to his homework. Daniel is anything but a nerd, but...does he perhaps have something else to do in the afternoon besides homework? No, he doesn't.
"Wow...what a loser," hisses the bright figure sitting next to me at the window, staring through the binoculars. "Of course he has no friends. We've been staring at his life for three days now, and what does he do? School, homework, washing his hands, and off to bed. That's just a cover, of course...no one can be that boring. And you?" he asks, turning his beautiful head in my direction. "You haven't done anything yet, have you?"
Man, I honestly feel a tiny bit guilty. I mean, I've done so much... gone out, thrown wild parties, seduced a few cute Earthlings... I've been really lazy when it comes to Daniel. But the stupid shining light doesn't need to know that.
"I," I answer as snottily as I can, crossing my stockinged legs, "have already made contact with him."
"You stumbled into his arms, didn't you?" he grins.
Asshole!
"I'm his tutor. Good Aunt Scholastica. Where do you think his excellent grades come from?"
"Phh...I'm impressed. However, it wasn't your job to make him a little genius."
I shrug. "It's included in the price."
"Listen, Aunt Scholastica...I'm not here to help you," he explains, nibbling on his last slice of pizza, "but because HE really dislikes your work ethic, okay. If you spend all night hanging around who knows where and with who knows who, it's clear you're not getting anything done. You're not here on vacation."
"And you're not here to stuff yourself," I hiss angrily, practically ripping the pizza slice away from his mouth.
He gives me a dark look, puts the binoculars up to his eyes, and jumps up in disgust a moment later. "Oh my God..."
»Was'n?«
He flails his arms in agitation. "He's jerking off," he shrieks shrilly. "In broad daylight."
"Really?" I hastily grab the binoculars and rush to the window. "Where?"
"You don't want to watch this, do you?"
"Yes. What do you mind?" I ask, looking for my protégé.
“That’s disgusting,” the shining light remarks, pissed off.
"That's great," I rave. "Finally, some action...oh wow...he seems to be thinking about something really hot, the way he's going," I giggle.
Daniel is practically lying in his monstrous black leather desk chair. His eyes are closed and his hand is moving with remarkable speed.
Hazel-brown strands of hair hang in his face, and his lips are slightly parted. He looks pretty...what can I say?! I like the show. I'm just an old voyeur. But before Daniel is finished, my view, or rather, my binoculars, are blocked.
“Stop it now,” yells the shining light.
"Party pooper," I pout, sticking my tongue out at him.
"We'll come up with a sensible plan now. Otherwise I'll be stuck here in this dump forever."
"Hey, nothing against my apartment, yes. I did it all myself," I explain proudly, because my old apartment has truly turned out breathtakingly beautiful. For example, I painted the kitchen red and there are golden cherubs and other gold knick-knacks hanging everywhere.
My bedroom is dusty pink with a huge four-poster bed and lots of kitsch. The bathroom, on the other hand, looks like a lagoon. Blue-green-turquoise, funny fish, shells, and seahorses are stuck to the tiles, ivy creeps from the ceiling, and I got this awesome blue-transparent toilet seat with fish on it from the hardware store. In the living room is my beloved dark green leather couch (which looks like something out of a cheap 70s porno), a low table, a TV, and other such things. The most beautiful thing in my apartment, however, is an absurd frog table I found in the trash. It's a wooden frog on four legs that holds my phone.
I could still kiss Jeanne for discovering it but then, after much pestering, giving it to me. Incidentally, people who see the frog table for the first time usually seem a little unsettled.
"Good for you," replies The Shining One, strolls to the fridge and comes back with a pot of cookies and cream ice cream.
"Isn't gluttony a mortal sin?"
“And laziness?” he counters.
"Touch."
He lies down on the porn couch and spoons his ice cream. "So, Schola, let's hear what you've come up with for Daniel."
Martin wraps a towel around his waist and dries his straw-blond hair with another. Hot clouds follow him from the shower room into the locker room, where he heads for his seat, glances briefly to his left, and shakes his head. On the left sits the idiot from his class, the one everyone makes fun of. Today, there was also trouble with the PE teacher. Daniel had forgotten his gym clothes...like every Tuesday. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Daniel's furtive glance and hopes for his sake that he's the only one. If the others notice that Daniel apparently enjoys staring at boys' butts, he can make his will...Martin thinks as he gets dressed. It's funny how you can really get away with anything here...drugs, alcohol, women, troubles with the police, obesity, lousy grades, pimply faces...but if you're a guy who thinks another guy is attractive, you've screwed up. And if you're as soft and sensitive as Daniel, you really have nothing to laugh about.
"Hey, Schröder, what's up? Are you coming to Conny's party on Saturday?" A stark naked boy slaps him hard on the back.
“Man, Sascha, stop that shit,” Martin hisses.
"Why are you so pissed off?" he asks, getting dressed. "Because of Lena? Forget that cow. If she dumps you...find something new."
"I broke up with you, asshole. And in case you're wondering, we're still friends, so be careful what you say about Lena."
The boy shrugs and ties his shoes. "Fine. Anyway, Conny's totally hot for you, and since you're free now..."
Martin sighs in annoyance. This kind of chatter is getting on his nerves. Just as he's getting fed up with the parties and his so-called friends, who have absolutely no idea what's going on with him. Only Lena knows everything...almost everything. That's why he broke up with her.
"Well, see you later," Sascha calls and leaves the locker room.
"I can't believe that," Martin mutters, stuffing his stuff into his bag and looking over at Daniel. "Do we still have math?"
The boy's cheeks turn a slightly reddish color. "Uh...yes, after free period. Why?"
"Then tell me I'm sick. I'm going home."
»Okay.«
In his room, Martin throws himself onto the bed, reaches for the phone and dials.
"Hey, Lena."
"Oh...hi," a voice chirps in his ear. "Why aren't you in math?"
"No nerve," he replies. "Listen, what we discussed yesterday...that's just between us, right? I mean..."
"What do you think? That I'm one of those stupid gossips? Or that I'm dragging you into it because we broke up? Honestly, Martin, I'm glad you told me the truth. I was already doubting my sanity... well, and yours too," she giggles. "Don't stress."
"I just can't handle it yet, and I don't even know if I..."
"Well, I think you..." she interrupts.
Martin puts a hand over his eyes and sighs. "Man, why me, huh?"
"I don't know. But if that's the way it is, that's the way it is. So stop complaining and do something."
"Toller Tipp," he grumbled.
»No risk no fun. Ran an den Speck, Martin.«
"Yeah, yeah. Look, can we meet later...for hot chocolate at ULTRA?"
"Okay, babe. I'll be there around eight. Love you."
"I love you too. And Lena...thank you."
After hanging up, he closes his eyes and...sighs. And he dreams. Dreams again about that one person he shouldn't dream about.
At about the same time, I'm sitting next to my protégé, trying to teach him English. Well, he's doing pretty well. If only he weren't so nervous. But...hey, who doesn't get nervous when a beauty of my caliber is sitting next to them?!
"So, sweetheart...do you think next week's essay will be okay?"
"I think so," he murmurs quietly.
I fiddle a bit with the rosary I wear around my neck. "How are you otherwise?"
"Uh...what?"
"Well...what's going on at school and after school? Are you still going out, for example? I mean, at this time of day, all the boys and girls your age are probably out and about."
"Not me."
"Yes, I see that. Why not? Not in the mood, or what?"
He looks at me in pain. "It's just stupid being alone. You're my only social contact."
Well, he's not telling me any news. While he pours me a glass of juice, I look him over. Cute, I immediately think. He's lanky, but not skinny; he has a cute button nose, pretty lips, and slender, slim fingers. Man, the way he shyly tugs at his slightly too-long sleeves makes you want to immediately take him in your arms and cuddle him. Of course, that's completely forbidden for me.
"You know what, Dani...we're going to ULTRA later, and you can treat me to a delicious stracciatella cappuccino. What do you think?"
His eyes widen. "You...you want to go out with me?"
"Secure."
"Um...well, okay. Isn't this a joke either?" he asks cautiously.
"How did you come to that conclusion?"
"Because everyone's making fun of me. Seems to be hip right now."
I cross my legs and bat my eyelashes. "Am I everyone?" Then I jump up. "Hey, I'll cut your hair, okay? The way it is now, it looks pretty shitty, you know?!"
He clutches his head and looks dejected. He may have been a bit too direct, but...his messed-up haircut is just disgusting.
Mmm...Dani uses peach shampoo. Oh, it smells amazing. Wow, and his hair is really soft. It's fun to rummage through it. I also notice that Daniel has very cute little ears and a neck that makes you want to nibble on it. Yeah, I'm not allowed to, so I concentrate on the cut.
After exactly 43 minutes, I'm finished, and Daniel looks stunning. His hazel-brown hair is beautifully messy, and his long bangs hang so close to his face that he has to brush them to the side. Very good...that's always hot with guys.
"And you think I'll make friends this way?" he asks skeptically, tearing up the work of art I've just created.
“Don’t touch that,” I scream in panic, but quickly regain control.
"Of course a new hairstyle alone isn't enough, sweetheart." Sighing, I flop down onto his bed. "I don't know why you're making this so difficult."
"Me? But the others are..."
"Oh, screw the others," I snarl. "Honestly, Dani, you just need to bang your fist on the table at school. When those idiots try to make fun of you... insult them like crazy for a change instead of just letting them get away with it."
"Of course...they'll beat me up right away."
"They'll be so surprised they won't even think about it. I realize you can't physically compete with those idiots, but...you have to make them feel like you can. It's not about muscle power, you know?! Whoever yells the loudest and curses the best wins."
"But I can't shout and swear loudly."
"Sure, you can. The next time someone gives you a dirty talk, just yell "FUCK YOU BITCH" in their face. Or you can tell them nicely to go fuck themselves. And that if they don't leave you alone, you'll smash their stupid face against the fucking wall."
He shakes his pretty head.
"Well, I'll change now and then pick you up later, okay?"
When I get to my apartment, the shining light is lounging on the couch eating marshmallows.
"And...did he take the bait?" he asks, licking chocolate from his finger.
"You could have easily figured that out yourself if you'd gotten your ass off the couch. And I don't just mean to go to the fridge."
"Uh, Schola, don't dress too daring. After all, he should be crushing on his own kind, not drooling over your holy ass all evening."
You little idiot, I think to myself, grinning to myself. "Don't worry, he'll fall madly in love today. Then you, Hocus Pocus, can fly back to where you came from, and I'll finally be free. I can do whatever I want."
"I don't understand why you're so keen on living here."
"I could have wished for a pair of wings, too, but then I'd have to endure someone like you forever and ever. No, I'd rather do my own thing down here and have fun. You're all such total bores. Rejoicing and dancing around the apple tree with blissful smiles...very amusing," I reply, yawning demonstratively.
"Anyway, we're not whoring around."
"If you did, maybe you wouldn't be so uptight."
"And you should reflect a little on what you once were."
Man, here he comes again with those ancient stories. "I've been the chaste nun long enough, eh?"
He crosses his arms across his chest. "Your halo is starting to crumble."
"My halo has never shone brighter, you asshole," I roar angrily.
"So you think HE approves of your new lifestyle?"
"I actually think so. Listen, being abstinent for a while was, after all, my own decision. Nothing was imposed on me. All this celibacy crap is an invention of the Catholic Church, you know that as well as I do, my dear. And you can see what they get out of it. A bunch of uptight bastards who seduce little boys and girls...priests who lead double lives...children who have to grow up without a father...and when you consider how the organization deals with topics like homosexuality, it makes you so sick that you want to blow the whole mess up. What these pseudo-pious churchmen are squeezing out of their sick brains is certainly not HIS intention. Just remember what those bastards did to Jeanne. And now I don't feel like arguing with you anymore. I have to get ready to go out."
At 8:30, I'm sucking on my Kiba after a cappuccino and am almost dying of boredom. Daniel is definitely not a fun person. I mean, he can be funny when he wants to, but today he doesn't seem to want to, and of course I know exactly why. Or rather, who. Since we've been here, he's been staring across the room at the table by the window. Lena is sitting there with Martin.
"Why are you always looking there?" I ask hypocritically, at which he blushes furiously. Man, that looks incredibly sweet. "Do you know those two?"
"Uh...yeah...they're in my grade."
"Well, then we can go over and say hello."
"No," he cries out, horrified. "I mean, Martin and Lena are together and probably want to be left alone. Besides, they hate me."
"Oh, Schnickischnacki," I say, waving my hand. "You really need a couple of people around you, don't you? And if they get mean... I'll get mean too. And believe me, I'm very good at that," I grin.
"But...what should I say?"
"Well... hello. Then you can introduce me, ask if we can sit down, and the rest is child's play." I lightly poke him in the ribs. "Come on, you little coward. No risk, no fun."
Just to be on the safe side, I'll put my arm around his shoulder. I don't want him to faint or stupidly trip over his own feet. How embarrassing. We stop in front of Lena Martin's table. The girl looks at us in surprise.
"Uh...hello," mumbles Daniel, his cheeks bright red.
"Hello...what are you doing here and...what did you do with your hair?"
"That was me. Hi, I'm Scholastika."
Lena shakes her blonde-streaked head. "Wow, that name...I've never heard of it. By the way, I'm Lena, and that's Martin."
"Can we sit down?" I ask, sitting down next to Martin, who seems to be suffering from acute speech instability. "I think it's really nice to meet some of Dani's friends."
My protégé has now pulled up a chair and is sitting next to Lena. "Actually, we're not friends."
“Well, we hardly know each other,” Lena corrects.
Daniel looks at her in surprise. "We've known each other since sixth grade."
"Yes, but not really."
"Right enough to keep making fun of me."
Oh dear...don't start a fight, sweetheart. That'll ruin my beautiful plan.
"Hey," Lena raises her hands defensively, "Martin and I always left you alone, didn't we?"
"It doesn't matter. All I'm saying is, we're not friends."
"Well, that can be changed," Lena smiles and nudges Martin, who looks totally shocked.
"Uh...uh, what?"
Wow...who taught him to talk? Well, it doesn't matter, because Martin has a cuteness about him that even makes me feel faint. And I'm really not into teenagers. Not sexually, anyway. Er...at least not that much. So, just to give you an idea...Martin has very pretty blue-grey eyes with incredibly long, thick eyelashes and a head of straw-blonde hair. And a cute little pouty face. He looks...yes, he actually looks a bit like the guy from the Rosenstolz video. The one who desperately wants to fall in love, you know?!
"I was just thinking," Lena begins, "you could come to Conny's party on Saturday..."
"Oh, I love teenage parties," I grin.
Martin looks like he's just reached into a tub of fish guts. "What's he doing there?"
“Have fun and meet people?” suggests Lena.
"You know as well as I do that the whole damn school thinks he's an idiot, and if you ask me...they're right."
Oh no, babe. That was very rude. You shouldn't lie. Daniel slowly stands up and leans across the table toward Martin. "Fuck you, Schröder," he hisses.
"Uh...excuse me?"
"Are you screwed up? Fuck you, asshole. I don't give a shit what you think about me or what the idiots at school say. And I don't feel like going to your stupid puke parties anyway." He shakes his head. "Fuck you all," he adds, and walks away.
I mentally throw my hands up in the air. I mean, wow...what a cool exit...unfortunately, the completely wrong address. Damn, he's ruining everything. Martin looks a little shocked, while Lena is giggling like an idiot.
"Man, he really gave it to you, didn't he? I wouldn't have thought he was capable of it."
"Well, I'll be there too. See you Saturday, you two," I say a hasty goodbye and hurry after my protégé.
He's standing outside, beaming from ear to ear. "So, how was I?"
“Great,” I grumble.
"What is it? I should insult him."
"You should show the school idiots what's what, not scare away your...er, your future friends, idiot."
"Didn't you hear what that asshole was babbling about?"
I'm starting to get pissed off. "You didn't have to tell him to go fuck himself three times. Once would have been enough."
"Phh..." he huffs, "I feel great."
Yes, yes, and I'm allowed to straighten everything out. How I'm supposed to do that is beyond me.
So, I went shopping with Daniel today. Clothes for the party. He can't just show up in jeans and a baggy sweater. By the way, he's been talking about Lena the whole time. The two seem to have become friends since the incident at ULTRA. I'm a little pissed off. I'm happy for Daniel's little girlfriend, I just don't like it when a guy raves about another girl in my presence. Not that Daniel raves about her that much... he just talks about how cool she is and how nice and all that. Still, it pisses me off.
"Let me take a look at you, sweetheart."
Well, man, I'm a real stylist. Daniel looks great.
Black, remarkably low-cut corduroy pants, Chucks, a black shirt with holes on the shoulders (like Brian "Sex God" Molko's in the Pure Morning video), and that new haircut...damn sexy, that kid. I've turned him into a really cute indie boy. Bravo, Schola!!
"Do you really think we should go there?" he asks uncertainly, tugging at his shirt.
"Absolutely," I reply, still patting myself on the back. The thing is so short that you always see a bit of his creamy skin. Mmm...I'd love to slip my hand under his shirt and...
"And now comes the icing on the cake."
»Huh?«
I pull him onto the bed with me and brush soft strands of hair from his face. Haha...his heart suddenly starts beating fast. How sweet! Anyway, I rub my nose against his neck and nibble a little on the velvety skin.
"Uh, Schola...what...what are you doing?"
"Hickey," I murmur, "makes an impression and looks incredibly sexy."
"Oh God...please don't," he moans, but I'm already at it.
Hey...I guess I'm allowed a little fun, right?! I don't have any other plans with him.
Okay, teen party! It's not worth wasting much time on. Dim lighting, alcohol, snacks, music, and just a bunch of teenagers. I sit down on the couch and ask myself for a moment why I'm all dressed up like this? I'm definitely not going to get a good fuck here. Anyway, it's about Daniel, after all. He's currently being besieged by Lena. Martin, as far as I can tell, is crouching gloomily in a corner, but he's surreptitiously staring at the two of them.
"Tell me, who are you?"
I turn around and look into a relatively pretty teenage face.
“Scholastika,” I whisper and stretch a little.
"Cool name. Are you a friend of Conny's? I mean, I actually know all of Conny's friends and...uh...you don't go to our school, do you? Um, I'm Sascha, by the way."
Shit, he's too young, damn it. What a pity!! "I'm here with Daniel."
"Which Daniel?"
"Daniel Berger," I reply, accidentally touching Sascha's leg with my bare knee. Schola, he's only sixteen at the most...please don't forget that!
He chokes on his beer and then looks around frantically. "What? What does he want here, and what does that idiot have to do with a dream woman like you?"
Ah...how flattering. "Daniel protected me when some sleazy guy tried to get his hands on me. He broke his nose. We...we fuck every now and then," I explain, shrugging and reminding myself not to blow my mind too far.
"With the firecracker?"
"Daniel is the coolest guy I know," I reply, "would you please get me a drink?" I have a feeling I'm going to get some work today and I don't need this charming Sascha distraction.
Daniel and Lena seem to be having a great time. They're talking and laughing the whole time, and I could swear my sweetheart is trying to flirt with her. Kerrkerrkerr...can he please do something right?!
Martin, considerably drunk, staggers towards the two of them and bumps into my little heart.
"Keep your hands off my girlfriend, you pissant."
Lena is immediately furious. "What's wrong with you? Martin, we're not together anymore."
"And what's next? Since when do you let idiots grope you?"
"And since when are you Lena's nanny?" asks Daniel, his eyes twinkling evilly.
"Shut up. What do you even want? Nobody...absolutely nobody wants you here, so why don't you get out of here?"
"Leave me in peace, Schröder."