2025-07-18, 12:00 PM
Last night was a total freakin’ disaster. I had worked up the courage to bring Aaron over to meet my family. My first boyfriend! I was pure scared. I had been going nuts trying to think of just the right way to announce it, and then… Bam!… My mouth just opened and out flew all the wrong words. You should have seen the look on my dad’s face. Well, no, actually, you’d have been happier somewhere north of China about then.
We were sitting at the dinner table devouring my mom’s great country fried steak and mashed potatoes. I was pushing a single green pea around my plate, waiting for a hole in the conversation.
“There’s a sale at the Mid City Centre,” my sister Ivy was telling Mom, or actually hinting for money. Mom’s wise to her, but will still slip her like $40. Moms are so easy.
My brother Scott, an obsessed motorcycle fan, was telling Dad how Mick Doohan was coming along after his accident. “He flew off that bike and frammed into the wall. Lucky it was just broken bones.”
“I’m bringing my boyfriend over tomorrow night,” I blurted out, my eyes glued to my dad’s face. I meant to say it quietly, unobtrusively, but instead, it just jumped on the table and did a tap dance.
Ivy’s boyfriend, Leo, jerked as if someone had kicked him… hard… under the table, while Ivy smiled brightly. Mom took a deep breath, and smiled at me to tell me it was okay. Scott tried to stare a hole through his plate. But, all I could see was my dad. He was looking at me with the saddest expression in his eyes. Shit!
You gotta know my dad. He never says what he’s thinking. He over thinks and beats the ‘dead horse’, ’til you want to scream. I mean, I told them I was gay a while back after my friend Eric left and I had no one to talk to. I was losing my mind and needed them to know. But my dad? He never even asks me about it. He acts like I never said it; like if he doesn’t say anything, it’ll go away. I guess he thinks it’s like the time I wanted a surfboard really bad. In time, I’ll forget I said it. Sorry, Dad.
See, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’ve known I’m gay since I was maybe 11. I wasn’t sure what it meant for me and I watched my dad maneuver my sister and brother, trying to weed out the bad ‘dates’. I felt kinda sorry for him ’cause everybody knows that the more a parent tells you ‘No’, the more you gotta have whatever.
Ivy brought home some real doozies, the guy with the purple hair and nose piercings; the bloke that fell in love with my mom. This current one, Leo, isn’t too bad. He even took me to a few games. Maybe he’ll be a keeper.
Scott is still smelling the flowers. He brings girls home, knowing we all know he’s got prolly one agenda. Time will settle him down, I guess. Dad tries to talk to him about the difference between hos and ladies. My thought, right now, my brother Scott’s not looking for a lady. I could be wrong.
See, the thing is, Dad and Mom raised us really good. We have good manners, we open doors for old people, we don’t make fun of anyone less fortunate (my dad’s very words) and all the other good things. He’s gotta start trusting that we have enough brains to make the right decisions.
I guess the problem is, my dad’s not ever had to concentrate on me before. I was happy that Ivy and Scott took up all his ‘father knows best’ time. I could then just be me, a gay kid who was in silent running mode. He would ask if I had a girl picked out and I’d laugh and say, “When I find one as cool as Mom.” That should have blown it right there, but my dad loves my mom and he thought it was cute. I mean, what horny 14-year-old guy, str8 or gay, is looking for someone like his mom?
But my dad, you should have seen the look on his face when I said that at the table. If I’d said I ate baby bunnies for lunch, he couldn’t have looked more sucker punched. Did he really think that I was any different from Ivy, from Scott? Why is it okay for them to date and have bfs and gfs, but not me?
It’s ’cause he’s not alright with me being gay. I don’t even know what he really thinks about it. He isn’t homophobic, at least not where I’ve heard him, but that doesn’t mean he likes it either.
The only time we talked about it at all was the night I was in my room, sobbing my guts out over this guy at school who really came across as someone like me, but just as I was gonna ask him if he wanted a coke or something, he launched into his crush on Sonja Kranvik, the head cheerleader. I stood mutely, listening to what he wanted to do to her body, my heart lying on the dirty gym floor.
My sweet old dad, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, all uncomfortable and wishing he was anywhere else, tried to tell me about all the fish in the sea. I know it was gross, but I just wailed on him. How was I supposed to find ‘my fish’ when they were all disguised as str8 fish? Think about that, Dad.
I know he doesn’t want to even talk about how I could get beat up or trashed really bad if I try to hook the wrong fish. It really pissed me off that he thought it was easy. As long as he thinks like the regular big mouth bass, he won’t ever see that I’m a salmon and swimming upstream ain’t easy. He needs to just back off and stay the hell out of my business… and stop with the fish stuff.
My mom and I talked. It’s true you know, moms kinda always know. She didn’t ask the hard stuff, didn’t bring up the sex probs. She did the mom thing with how much they love me and, it would be a tough lifestyle but they would always be with me. That’s my mom. It made me feel good but it didn’t help me with Dad.
I told my parents I was gay not long after my best friend Eric moved away. Life had been easier with Eric in it. I jonesed for him totally but I never told him. He said he had a thing for Mary Alice Hayes and who was I to question? We talked about everything. He knew I was gay and it didn’t matter. He still hugged me and let me whine all over him.
When his mom got that new job, I got so angry at the grownup world. Didn’t it see what it was doing to teenagers when it shuffled the parents around willy-nilly? Eric and I both begged and pleaded but what good did that do? None. My dad said something bogus like ‘life didn’t revolve around my wishes’. Well, duh! Life sat a plate of chocolate chip cookies right in front of me and then told me I couldn’t eat them.
I knew that I was being childish and dumb, but I was really pissed at them. Pissed at Eric’s parents for leaving, at Eric for going, and at my dad for letting it all happen. I got back the only way I knew how… I knew my dad was dying to know if Eric and I… so, I just let him stew over it. Maybe we were, Dad. Worry on.
**
We were sitting at the dinner table devouring my mom’s great country fried steak and mashed potatoes. I was pushing a single green pea around my plate, waiting for a hole in the conversation.
“There’s a sale at the Mid City Centre,” my sister Ivy was telling Mom, or actually hinting for money. Mom’s wise to her, but will still slip her like $40. Moms are so easy.
My brother Scott, an obsessed motorcycle fan, was telling Dad how Mick Doohan was coming along after his accident. “He flew off that bike and frammed into the wall. Lucky it was just broken bones.”
“I’m bringing my boyfriend over tomorrow night,” I blurted out, my eyes glued to my dad’s face. I meant to say it quietly, unobtrusively, but instead, it just jumped on the table and did a tap dance.
Ivy’s boyfriend, Leo, jerked as if someone had kicked him… hard… under the table, while Ivy smiled brightly. Mom took a deep breath, and smiled at me to tell me it was okay. Scott tried to stare a hole through his plate. But, all I could see was my dad. He was looking at me with the saddest expression in his eyes. Shit!
You gotta know my dad. He never says what he’s thinking. He over thinks and beats the ‘dead horse’, ’til you want to scream. I mean, I told them I was gay a while back after my friend Eric left and I had no one to talk to. I was losing my mind and needed them to know. But my dad? He never even asks me about it. He acts like I never said it; like if he doesn’t say anything, it’ll go away. I guess he thinks it’s like the time I wanted a surfboard really bad. In time, I’ll forget I said it. Sorry, Dad.
See, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’ve known I’m gay since I was maybe 11. I wasn’t sure what it meant for me and I watched my dad maneuver my sister and brother, trying to weed out the bad ‘dates’. I felt kinda sorry for him ’cause everybody knows that the more a parent tells you ‘No’, the more you gotta have whatever.
Ivy brought home some real doozies, the guy with the purple hair and nose piercings; the bloke that fell in love with my mom. This current one, Leo, isn’t too bad. He even took me to a few games. Maybe he’ll be a keeper.
Scott is still smelling the flowers. He brings girls home, knowing we all know he’s got prolly one agenda. Time will settle him down, I guess. Dad tries to talk to him about the difference between hos and ladies. My thought, right now, my brother Scott’s not looking for a lady. I could be wrong.
See, the thing is, Dad and Mom raised us really good. We have good manners, we open doors for old people, we don’t make fun of anyone less fortunate (my dad’s very words) and all the other good things. He’s gotta start trusting that we have enough brains to make the right decisions.
I guess the problem is, my dad’s not ever had to concentrate on me before. I was happy that Ivy and Scott took up all his ‘father knows best’ time. I could then just be me, a gay kid who was in silent running mode. He would ask if I had a girl picked out and I’d laugh and say, “When I find one as cool as Mom.” That should have blown it right there, but my dad loves my mom and he thought it was cute. I mean, what horny 14-year-old guy, str8 or gay, is looking for someone like his mom?
But my dad, you should have seen the look on his face when I said that at the table. If I’d said I ate baby bunnies for lunch, he couldn’t have looked more sucker punched. Did he really think that I was any different from Ivy, from Scott? Why is it okay for them to date and have bfs and gfs, but not me?
It’s ’cause he’s not alright with me being gay. I don’t even know what he really thinks about it. He isn’t homophobic, at least not where I’ve heard him, but that doesn’t mean he likes it either.
The only time we talked about it at all was the night I was in my room, sobbing my guts out over this guy at school who really came across as someone like me, but just as I was gonna ask him if he wanted a coke or something, he launched into his crush on Sonja Kranvik, the head cheerleader. I stood mutely, listening to what he wanted to do to her body, my heart lying on the dirty gym floor.
My sweet old dad, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, all uncomfortable and wishing he was anywhere else, tried to tell me about all the fish in the sea. I know it was gross, but I just wailed on him. How was I supposed to find ‘my fish’ when they were all disguised as str8 fish? Think about that, Dad.
I know he doesn’t want to even talk about how I could get beat up or trashed really bad if I try to hook the wrong fish. It really pissed me off that he thought it was easy. As long as he thinks like the regular big mouth bass, he won’t ever see that I’m a salmon and swimming upstream ain’t easy. He needs to just back off and stay the hell out of my business… and stop with the fish stuff.
My mom and I talked. It’s true you know, moms kinda always know. She didn’t ask the hard stuff, didn’t bring up the sex probs. She did the mom thing with how much they love me and, it would be a tough lifestyle but they would always be with me. That’s my mom. It made me feel good but it didn’t help me with Dad.
I told my parents I was gay not long after my best friend Eric moved away. Life had been easier with Eric in it. I jonesed for him totally but I never told him. He said he had a thing for Mary Alice Hayes and who was I to question? We talked about everything. He knew I was gay and it didn’t matter. He still hugged me and let me whine all over him.
When his mom got that new job, I got so angry at the grownup world. Didn’t it see what it was doing to teenagers when it shuffled the parents around willy-nilly? Eric and I both begged and pleaded but what good did that do? None. My dad said something bogus like ‘life didn’t revolve around my wishes’. Well, duh! Life sat a plate of chocolate chip cookies right in front of me and then told me I couldn’t eat them.
I knew that I was being childish and dumb, but I was really pissed at them. Pissed at Eric’s parents for leaving, at Eric for going, and at my dad for letting it all happen. I got back the only way I knew how… I knew my dad was dying to know if Eric and I… so, I just let him stew over it. Maybe we were, Dad. Worry on.
**