Quote:But what is the plan? Is this the plan? To sit here, with my chin on my chest, bouncing harshly along with the bumpity-bump of the rails? And really, is that all I’m doing? It’s an existential point, but when I’m this busy inside, can anyone really say that I’m not doing anything? The mere appearance of inactivity does not necessarily denote apathy. Just because they can’t see the firing of the synapses, doesn’t mean they’re not, in fact, all a-blaze!
The conductor is gone. Now it’s just me and the queers.
(Carst — )
How many are there? Let me see... Well, let me hear, anyway. Let’s see how I do with my senses. The first is to my right — entirely too close for my liking, but that’s British Rail for you. I’m guessing he’s tall — his voice, when he speaks, seems to come from above. He’s probably skinny, judging from his reedy, tinny voice. He likely has a long, thin, peacock neck with a stubbled, protuberant Adam’s apple. He’s looking at someone on the other side of the cabin. Is there love in that look? Lust, perhaps? Makes me sick. Reminds me of —
“So how’s Anthony?”
That’s all I need to know. Obviously they’re both queer, and they know each other — Oh, you know, from that time on the heath, the gang-bang in the bushes — you remember...
Hark at me! Making assumptions about things I don’t know as if I ever knew anything about anything! They sound young, they could be virgins! Maybe they’ve never done — that — before. Maybe they’re not like —
“He’s good. He’s got a job at last.”
Okay, the mystery shallows. Queer One and Queer Two are ‘acquaintances’. Or friends. Probably not lovers. Sounds like they’re being polite with one another. Or perhaps that’s just me. Perhaps they’re not being open because I’m there and they don’t want to share their nasty homosexual secrets with the great, unwashed hetero.

   

Quote:Zacchary stood on the side of the pool breathing deeply. His latest fetish was trying to gain mastery over his own body, even at his age. He had seen the film Children’s Island while staying with his cousins in Gothenburg last Christmas and was determined to beat the records of endurance set by the boy in that film. His best achievement to date was one-minute-fifty-six ...

Quote:Alexander Mars was no God of War; nor was he a Red Planet either, shining in orbit by night. Eponymously he might best be likened to a rather over-sweet chocolate bar — undoubtedly tasty on the outside, and thoroughly gooey within. He was eleven years old, rather thin, fair-haired, a quiet boy with few friends who was perfectly happy with his own company.

Quote:Fiona Mars looked at her husband pleadingly. It was she who made most of the decisions in the household, but he liked to think that he was the one who wore the trousers and was in charge in the family. Subservient wife that she was, she had learnt over the years to sow a seed into his mind and then wait until he came up with her suggestion as if it was his own original idea.

Quote:Cameron Mars was the manager of the local undertakers. He was a tall man with a mop of hair, just starting to grey. A rather sedentary life-style — whether in the office, the front-room of the deceased, or the hearse — was fast leading to a somewhat unseemly paunch, and the black suits which he invariably wore seemed to emphasise his portly figure.

Quote:Michael noticed the silver zip in the black skirt and had an overwhelming desire to slip it down. He wondered how the lady would have reacted, but kept his fingers under control. It was important to get some better accommodation than the cockroach hovel he had been in when he first started at college or commuting from home as he did at present, and first impressions of these lodgings seemed eminently pleasant, apart from the steep climb. He must not do anything to spoil his chances.

   

Quote: The Best Hardcore Band in PA is a coming-of-age YA story with hints of Deposing Nathan.

Cyrus is gay and has feelings for his best friend Jeff, who lives with his mom and his ‘devoted to church’ stepf*ck (as Cyrus calls him). The boys’ lives are far from easy. They live in a conservative town in central Pennsylvania, Cyrus’ mom is dead and his dad works a lot. Jeff’s dad is an alcoholic who moved to Florida, and his stepdad Roland is an a*hole.

I wanted to hug those boys so many times. For being alone. For not being accepted. For being abused. And sometimes, I wanted to shake them up badly. For using so much weed at fifteen. For messing up so many things. But they were just teens figuring out life, and then I wanted to hug and protect them again.

While reading the first half of the book, I doubted the writing. But when I started reading the second half, I understood what Bill Elenbark was trying to do because I remembered he had done the same thing in his debut, I Will Be Okay.

In the story's first half, Cyrus and Jeff are fifteen/sixteen-year-olds figuring out their feelings. Hot-headed and confused, they do messy, thoughtless things while hormones rush through their teenage bodies. All these things are palpable in the writing. Long, descriptive, and poetic sentences that made me feel all the feels. But simultaneously, those long sentences (over 50 words) made me gasp for breath, and I hardly had time to figure out all those words and sentence parts between commas and more commas. On the contrary, the dialogues were blunt and scarce. Sometimes there was hardly any dialogue at all. The world of fifteen-year-olds. Yep. Caught in their heads, not communicating at all.

In the second half, Cyrus and Jeff are (almost) eighteen-year-olds, spreading out their wings, ready to go to college. Suddenly there’s more dialogue and the conversations are far more about feelings. There’s still messiness because, hey, eighteen-year-olds still haven’t figured out life (but who has?), and pain from the past resurfaces.

The moment I understood what Bill was trying to do, I liked the story way, way more, and I know that in a year or so, I’ll still be thinking about those two boys. I’m still not sure if everyone will understand this kind of writing, but it definitely fits the story.

This book is dark and complex. Don’t expect it to be a romance. It isn’t. The reference to Deposing Nathan is for a reason. The ending made me a sobbing mess. But there were also highlights. Cody was just a ray of sunshine. Sweet and cute Californian Cody. His conversations with Cyrus through Facetime were so precious.