My nightmare

Mum, come on now! I don't fancy missing the train because of you two!
Give over! Your father just had to stop at the chemist's, didn't he?
It was bound to happen. What else was I going to hear? Always the same! My parents wanted to drive me to the station because we, that is my class and a parallel class, are going on a school trip. And what do my parents do?
First of all, they go shopping at the train station! At least the shops here are already open at seven in the morning. And I'm supposed to wait and not run ahead. After all, they drove me here and also want to say goodbye to me on the platform.
And I can already imagine how? With kisses on each cheek, waving a handkerchief and running after the train? They should really start to understand that I've been seventeen for quite a while and will be celebrating my eighteenth birthday in six months.
They're really driving me crazy! At least they'll certainly drive me to despair, if I'm not granted madness.
And if even that doesn't happen, they're definitely responsible for the fact that I've probably spent 50 percent of my life with a red head.
Annoyed, I throw the straps of my backpack off my shoulders and fling it into a corner. This thing is getting heavy. This is one of the few moments when I suddenly feel almost like waking up. Even my father didn't take the backpack off me for more than two minutes.
But he also had to stop at the pharmacy.
Did I mention that already?
I'm sure I did!
At least I didn't waste any time getting me on the train.
But I'm sure you don't know that he went to the supermarket and the bakery first.
And we also had to stop at a small fruit and vegetable stand in front of the train station, which of course also needs to be mentioned. Strawberries are important! Just like the pomegranates, the sparkling wine, the croissants, the jam with cognac, the cream, the honey and the chocolate sauce in a handy dispenser.
So?
Have you guessed what this is going to be?
You got it!
Junior isn't here and we're buying everything we need for a hearty breakfast in bed! Fortunately, there's no fishmonger here, otherwise we would have bought oysters too. And I don't even want to know what my father is buying at the pharmacy right now!
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mother looking over at me with amusement.
“Don't worry, you'll still get to see Lukas on time.”
You're wondering who Lukas is?
Lukas is my boyfriend. We've been together for half a year. It took a while and was a bit chaotic until we were together, mainly because of my parents.
Yes, like so many, I also had a few, albeit unusual, problems with coming out. But now he is my rock with whom I want to spend every single minute.
If it takes much longer in there, I mean pointing to the pharmacy, Lukas will have left with the others long ago!
And here I am interrupting your breakfast!“ I blurt out.
“There's still plenty of time. And even if there isn't, you can keep us company,” my mother replies.
OK.
There it was again. She had done it again. This time I didn't blush, but I knew. I knew that even our newly renovated school auditorium would turn green with envy.
There are simply things you don't want to imagine.
Even a decent nightmare would steer clear of it and go to the psychiatrist on its own initiative. And the word “parents” in combination with the “S-word” is definitely one of them.
But which of you would seriously dispute that.
But before my mother can say any more, I see my father through the shop window, heading for the door to leave the pharmacy. Immediately I heave my backpack back onto my back.
“We can go on.”
And I'm already on my way.
Behind me I hear my parents.
“What's wrong with him?“ My father.
“I think he's allergic to the word ‘breakfast’ in the future tense.” My mother, with her typical undertone.
My hand closes a little tighter around the handrail of the escalator that I have just reached.
“Two weeks of peace and quiet, two weeks of peace and quiet, two weeks of peace and quiet,” I repeat my current mantra of the last few weeks over and over again in my mind. Of course that's why I'm so absent-minded that I trip over the end of this stupid escalator.
“Paul, are you all right?”
You're wondering who Paul is? Paul is the unfortunate me. The one who's talking to you and trying to escape from his parents to his class.
“Yes, I'm fine,” I mumble to myself while I look for my class.
Well, actually for Lukas. But the rest of the class will do for now.
I walk down the platform with my luggage, my parents behind me.
After not even ten meters, I see him.
Lukas!
A bit ahead of me. In the midst of the other students, their parents and the two teachers who are supposed to watch over us.
Without paying attention to my companions, I try to get to him as quickly as possible. I sidestep a few people, make a few detours, and sure enough, he sees me before I get to him. With a smile on my face, I join the group.
“Morning.”
Lukas lightly strokes my arm in greeting. “Hello, little one. How was your morning?”
I just roll my eyes in reply, as I do almost every time.
So, the usual, then?
Did you expect anything else?
Do you have new parents by any chance?
H??? I look at him quizzically. What makes you think that?
Because it seems to be the only way for you to have a quiet morning.
Lukas' explanation brings a smile to my face. The day is slowly getting better.
And only now do I take a closer look at my surroundings.
Martin and Achim (actually Joachim) are still standing with us, but if he knew that I was telling you this, he would chase me through the whole train station.
Next to us are Lukas' parents, our class teacher Mr. Dreiher, and Mrs. Unger, who is responsible for our biology and is the class teacher of the other class.
My parents then also join this group of adults.
Well, almost. 
At least my father joins them.
My mother's path describes a slight curve. On this, she briefly greets those present and then comes straight towards me.
“Paul, are you sure you're okay?”
Her maternal instinct is apparently very pronounced again.
Before I can react, I already feel one of her hands on the collar of my polo shirt, which she is tugging at. A little later, her other hand is a little lower, brushing the non-existent dust off my trousers.
“If you take out a handkerchief and wipe my face, I'll never come back home!”
Don't be like that. You want to look decent, don't you?”
That explains, of course, why my mother thinks it necessary to clean my torn jeans.
But since she's not going to change her mind, I'd better not complain any further. At least she's now joining our teachers.
I told you we'd get something to do here. And you wanted to go and stand with Melanie?
Martin doesn't even bother to keep his voice down, nor does Achim.
You were right. Paul and his parents are better than the movies.
I look at Lukas, pleadingly. But he just stands there, his eyes flashing, chewing on his lower lip.
He seems on the verge of bursting out laughing.
Great!
Now you're starting too? I snap at him.
I don't really want to, but after the shopping marathon with my parents this morning, I can't help it, even though I'm immediately sorry again.
I see a brief surprise in Lukas' eyes. But then he comes half the step we were standing apart on me and hugs me.
“Sorry, I didn't want to make fun of you,“ he says only to me and then gives me a kiss, in which I would have forgiven him everything.
“Where I see you both standing like that?” My mother behind my back.
Do you know that?
When you're watching a movie and everything is nice and colorful and happy?
And then a light violin music begins, which gets darker and darker and faster and faster. At the latest when the music consists only of short, fast staccatos, you know that horror is about to strike.
My mother's voice has the same effect.
“We've brought you something for the road.”
With these words she starts to rummage in her handbag. After some back and forth shifting of the contents, she pulls two small boxes out of her bag.
With a probably really sincere smile, she holds them out to me. As I reach for them, I see part of the label.
But that's enough for me for now.
15 x EXTRASTARK
I immediately feel the blood rush to my head.
Behind me, I hear Martin and Achim giggling again.
And I wonder, not for the first time, what my parents actually think I am.
A horny rabbit?
We'll only be gone for a fortnight, including the journey there and back!
And they're giving me thirty condoms!
And your father also has something for you.
Oh yes! I almost forgot about that. That's why I had to stop at the pharmacy.
With these words, my father pushes another small tube into my hand.
You can probably guess what's in it.
And Lukas probably knows too. I can tell that he's getting nervous too, right next to me.
What are you looking at? Don't you know what to do with it?
Well, then you can ask Mrs. Unger. Fortunately she is coming on the trip.
Martin and Achim are now leaning against each other, trying not to fall over laughing.
And I can also see our other classmates grinning now.
At least some of them.
Some started giggling and are now also on the verge of bursting out laughing.
I myself am still staring at the gifts, probably with a silly grin on my face.
Lukas also looks like he would prefer to hide under the tracks.
“I don't know what's wrong with these young people. They should be glad to be alive in such enlightened times.”
The comment comes from an older gentleman.
Dark suit, light shirt underneath, even a neatly folded handkerchief was not missing. Next to him stands his wife, apparently. Also in a coordinated costume and with elaborately teased hair.
“If we had had such aids back then, it would have been much easier with the girls.”
Karl, I don't think these young men need condoms for girls,“ his wife now also interjects.
How red can you actually get?
I said, if we had had such aids, it would have been much easier in the past,” he replies with the most smug grin I've seen in my life.
My parents are still standing there smiling at me.
Lukas' parents also seem to be enjoying their role as enlightened legal guardians.
Only Ms. Unger seems a little afraid that we might actually ask her about the correct use of condoms.
I turn to Lukas and press myself against him.
My face is at his neck.
“Duhu?” I whisper, while I feel his hand soothingly on my back.
“If we're gone for a week, can't we find new parents?”
“Oh yes. Preferably some who aren't quite so enlightened?”
“And also not quite so offensive?”
“A little less accepting?”
“And maybe even a little intolerant?”
That would be great! I hear Lukas's confirmation before the incoming train that takes us out of this nightmare drowns out the giggling and laughing around us.
*-* End *-*

Morning dew

Splash.
Oh, shouting, barking, uproar.
Dennis shook his head, the helmet had slipped and sat crookedly on his brown hair. Tiffy, the Jack Russell terrier, was jumping on him, barking. What had just happened, he thought and looked from his unwanted sitting position in disbelief at the spectator stand.
Some people had stood up and were looking in his direction, mouths half open. When Dennis realized his misfortune, he just let himself fall into the mud. It didn't matter anymore anyway. At that moment, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. He closed his eyes. Anger arose, rage.
All over. Finished. His last chance gone. Before the medic was with him, the last few weeks quickly passed before his mind's eye. He had rarely had so much bad luck in his 19 years of life. Bad luck or misfortune? Fate? He couldn't separate them.
“Are you okay?“ one of the medics asked, kneeling down next to Dennis on the ground, which had been soaked by the rain of the last few days.
“My shoulder,” he replied quietly. He couldn't say what hurt more: having lost this tournament or the pain.
The medic had barely touched the spot when Dennis cried out.
“Ouch.”
Could be your collarbone. Any other pain?
Dennis shook his head and now felt tears in his eyes.
Can you stand up?
Dennis knew the medic meant well, but it was all terribly embarrassing for him. Everyone was still staring at him, someone was shouting something through the loudspeakers, and Dennis didn't even try to understand the echoing words.
He still caught the name, but he really didn't want to hear the rest. That he had been eliminated, that his arch-enemy Ralf had won first place in the riding competition. It had all looked so good that morning.
Billy, Dennis Kohlfuchs and only friend, was in a good mood, didn't act up and trotted to the arena very well-behaved. All the disciplines went very well, some people called his name and cheered him on.
But then there was a loud bang. It came from somewhere and was loud and sharp. Billy reared up so fast that Dennis couldn't react. Seconds later he fell out of the saddle and landed on the ground.
Resigned, Dennis let himself be led away by the medic. The right shoulder, of all things. If the collarbone was broken, he could expect not to be able to write for a while. And at a time when the final exam of his apprenticeship was due.
He didn't want to think about what that would mean. Is it possible to have that much bad luck? First his father had run off with the company secretary, then his car broke down and finally Stefan, his best friend from school days, moved away from the city.
And now this. He looked over at Billy, who was being led from the square by a jury member. The proud cabbage fox couldn't help it after all, blaming him was the last thing on Dennis' mind. Only if he caught the one who was responsible for this, he would turn his throat with just one hand.
Encouraging words were whispered to him as the medic accompanied him through the crowd. Dennis didn't dare to look them in the eye, least of all his sister or even his mother, who were definitely nearby. Meeting them soon was inevitable anyway, but he would have preferred to do without it.
He bravely trudged out of the paddock, his eyes fixed on the ground. Suddenly the medic stopped and Dennis saw him in front of him. Ralf, his rival, was standing in front of them. He just didn't like Dennis, but that only manifested itself in the fact that he actually avoided him permanently.
Ralf was already in the club when Dennis joined three years ago. His sister had often taken him with her and at some point he was sitting on Billy's back and taking his first riding attempts.
He enjoyed it, went more and more often and it turned out that he was born for this sport. But there was Ralf, who didn't treat him with mistrust from the start.
At first glance, the boy, who was about his age, wasn't so unpleasant. In the beginning, they often sat in the riders' room and talked, and even found other interests in common.
Over time, however, Dennis felt affection for him. His penchant for pretty boys was not new, but one evening, as they sat together again, Dennis sensed that there was more than just a beginning friendship. He realized that he was falling in love with Ralf. He kept his homosexuality a secret at all costs and nobody around him noticed his secret passion.
Dennis began to brood more and more often when they were together. Ralf didn't have a girlfriend, as he found out, and otherwise seemed to have little interest in anything other than sports.
Then the first tournaments began and Dennis got better and better, until he finally won one first prize after another. From then on, Ralf distanced himself more and more from him, until he finally avoided him completely.
Dennis was more than unhappy about this, and at first he tried to make Ralf understand that it was nothing personal, but he could hardly get through to him. He had actually hoped that Ralf would pay more attention to him as a result, but that was obviously a fallacy. Finally, he came to terms with the fact that Ralf was not what he had secretly hoped for. Of course he would never have gotten too close to him, but just his mere presence or talking to him was pure joy for him.
That was when he joined Mirko. He was anything but his type, but at least he was smart, decent. Almost a head shorter than him, reddish blonde hair, freckles and he came from a rich family. Not only of money, but also of children. Mirko had four siblings, all girls. But they were younger than Mirko, and he was only 17.
Their eyes met. Ralf had beautiful brown eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Was he smiling? Or was it schadenfreude? Probably the latter. Understandable, even though he had emerged as the victor. Won the most important tournament of the year. Dennis was ashamed, also because of his appearance. Totally filthy from the mud, he must have looked like a real wretch.
“Well, tough luck, eh?”
Tears welled up in Dennis' eyes again. Not because of the words, but because he said them, he, his secret love, still.
Seems so, he murmured almost inaudibly. Wouldn't he have rather hit him now? He didn't know what to think or say anymore. It didn't matter to him either, the pain in his shoulder was now beginning to get the upper hand.
Without looking up again, he ran past Ralf, their shoulders touching because Ralf didn't move out of the way.
“Child, are you badly hurt?“ his mother asked, suddenly standing next to him, followed by his sister Anni.
“No, I don't think so,” he replied morosely and got into the ambulance. He lay down on the stretcher without being asked and let the paramedic strap him in.
“We're going to St. Elisabeth's Hospital,” he said only to Dennis' mother, mother and closed the door. Dennis could still hear them discussing outside, presumably they wanted a ride. He didn't mind, even though it wasn't usually allowed; he wanted to be alone. Alone with himself and his misery. Now the tears came fully and he began to sob as the ambulance set in motion and drove at a moderate pace from the premises.
The procedure at the hospital took a long time. X-rays were taken of all possible parts of the body for possible injuries. Fortunately, the collarbone was only broken, but he still had to walk around with a support bandage for a few weeks.
His mother picked him up from the hospital late that afternoon and, in an attempt to cheer him up, took him for an ice cream in town. Dennis didn't mind; he didn't resist, but he wasn't thrilled either.
“Now just accept it, Dennis. There's nothing you can do about any of this, and it wasn't anyone's fault. At least not you and Billy's. They said they would find out who fired the shot, because they suspect that it was done on purpose. But even if they don't find him, it wasn't the end of the world, after all,” his mother said, digging into her ice cream sundae.
Dennis just nodded; she was right. Still, it annoyed him, and the thing with Ralf bothered him even more.
When he arrived home, he lay down on the bed and brooded. Again and again, he tried to convince himself that things would get better, knowing that he was allowed to take his exams after his mother had phoned the company.
He could also ride again, someday. But Ralf wouldn't get out of his head. That handsome guy who had such charisma that he couldn't escape. The blond, tousled hair, the slender body, which, wrapped in the riding gear, was so incredibly attractive to him. The cute bottom... Dennis groaned. He would have given anything to be allowed to have Ralf as a real friend. But something or someone was apparently against it.
Just as he was falling asleep, there was a knock at the door.
“Dennis, can I come in?”
Overcome with sleep, he sat up halfway. That voice belonged to Sandra, a good friend from the neighborhood. He liked her because she was so uncomplicated and unfortunately she had already hinted that she liked him very much. He always hoped that when they were together she wouldn't make any advances. But he suspected that eventually it would come to that. Then he had no choice but to come out of the closet, as much as he resisted outing himself to anyone.
“Yes, come in,” he called, and she was already standing by his bedside, holding a huge box of chocolates.
“Hello, unlucky you. How are you?”
He smiled painfully.
“Don't ask.”
“Oh, don't be such a frog. You'll be fine and then you can really show Ralf.”
Ralf. The name stung in his heart.
“If possible, please don't mention him in my presence for the foreseeable future.”
“Oh, but he didn't do anything to you.”
“Do you think?” he thought to himself.
“He broke my heart, which is worse than any injury to any body part.”
“Tell me, why don't you two get along?” ”In the beginning?”
“Please, Sandra, let's talk about something else.”
Without asking, she sat down on his bed and ran her fingers through his thick, dark brown hair.
“Well, I'm sorry, I'd really like to know what's between you. It's not right. I think it's great when you guys beat the others at other tournaments. It should be...
Dennis wiped his eyes.
“Are you in a lot of pain?” she interrupted her remarks.
He looked at his fingers and sensed that the time had come. She had to, she could and she should know, because it would come out eventually. And he knew her well enough to know that she could keep quiet. It was possible that she would then no longer want to have anything to do with him, but he just had to take that risk.
“Sandra, I have a problem...”
She looked at him, but rather calmly.
“Come on, spit it out.”
“It's not that easy,“ he mumbled, boring his eyes into the carpet.
“Otherwise it wouldn't be a problem, right?”
“Yeah, well... So the thing with Ralf...”
“Yes?” “Did he do something to you?”
“Basically, yes.”
Her eyes widened and she moved a bit away from him to get a better look at him.
“Well, come on, what's going on?”
“I've... I've fallen in love with him.”
He wanted to say more, but it was hard for him to find the right words now. Basically, everything was out. That was all there needed to be. He looked at her now and waited for her reaction.
Sandra let the air out of her lungs.
Oh, I see. I thought he had something to do with your accident.
Dennis looked up abruptly, directly into her eyes. He hadn't considered that at all. Of course. Ralf was already three runs ahead of him, he had plenty of time to leave the area and make the bang.
At exactly the right moment. It could only have been him. Anger suddenly overwhelmed him. He wanted to get to him, right now, on the spot. But words penetrated his ears and he calmed down. At least on the surface.
“And that's all you have to say about it?”
“That you're gay?” What can I say about that? It's not your fault. Of course I could have imagined something different, but as far as I know, there's nothing I can do about it. It's just stupid that Ralf... or is he too?
Dennis squinted at the sunlight shining into his room.
I don't know. He doesn't have a girlfriend, I know that. But that's all I know.
Then be careful. If he finds out and doesn't like gays, it could quickly go wrong. He knows a lot of important people in the club and...
Yes, yes, he interrupted her, I'll behave quietly. I wanted... no, I had to talk to someone about it now.
And that's with me. It's kind of an honor for me, even if I now have to bury my hopes in you.
She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“Well, now I have to go, Stefanie wants to go to the movies with me. Or are you coming too?”
He shook his head smiling.
“That's sweet of you, but I need to think. Another time would be nice. And thanks for listening to me. And for not letting me sit there?”
She grinned under the door, winked at him and gave him a thumbs-up.
“It'll be fine, no problem.”
Dennis flopped down on his pillows and shortly afterwards felt the reason for his being in his room in this weather. The pain shot through him like a dagger.
“Damn,” he cursed, and thought again about whether Ralf could really have something to do with all of this.
The days passed without anything exciting happening. Dennis' shoulder was getting better every day, and finally he was able to write again. But none of this satisfied him. He wanted to ride again. He wanted to get back on his horse, which he visited every day.
He had only seen Ralf a few times, but they didn't look at each other. It seemed to Dennis like two strangers, people who didn't know each other at all. His mental pain about it began to subside, at least Mirko was all the closer to him. Mirko had now chosen Fiola as his girlfriend.
She was also in the club and a very decent person. However, she never left Mirko's side and Dennis tried to stay away from them from time to time.
Sandra came to see him every other day or drove him to the riding arena. She was a sweet person and if he weren't gay, he would have captured her long ago. He often couldn't sleep in his bed at night.
Sometimes he dreamt of Ralf, they did a lot of things together. At the most beautiful moments he woke up with a start, realizing that none of it was true.
It wasn't necessarily just Ralf that he couldn't get out of his mind, it was the question of how to proceed. He would have to confess to his mother at some point, although he didn't see a big problem there.
She was tolerant, involved in the country women's association and was also otherwise open-minded. But she was not everything and not everyone.
After weeks of waiting, the first ride finally arrived. Early Sunday morning, with beautiful summer weather, Dennis saddled his Kohlfuchs. He didn't want to go far, just a few laps in the Rheinauen. He still felt a slight pull in his shoulder, but that didn't bother him.
Mounting was a bit more problematic, but once he was finally in the saddle, the pain was gone.
He trotted slowly out of the gate. Swallows circled the carriage, flies buzzed in the warm, still mild sunlight, and the flowers glistened everywhere in the morning dew. Only now did Dennis realize what he had been missing for so long.
Suddenly he heard hooves next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that it was Ralf's black horse. He just didn't need that right now and tried to just ignore it, gently spurring his horse and accelerating slightly.
The kicks next to him remained, Ralf pulled along. What was he up to? Dennis stopped abruptly and turned his horse in Ralf's direction.
They stood there, the horses almost head to head.
“What do you want from me?” Dennis asked briskly.
“Maybe a ride with you?”
Dennis began to tremble slightly. That voice. Nothing loud, intrusive or even threatening. And then that image. No one else sat in the saddle as gracefully as that. He would say proudly. And beautifully. Yes, beautifully. His heart was pounding. It was up to him to accept the offer. Was Ralf really the “bad guy”? Was he up to something again? Dennis had no answers to these questions. But at least he was being warned, to pay close attention to what was happening.
“If you want,“ he said, not very politely. He didn't really want to say it like that, but his mistrust prevailed.
“Fine. Then come on,” Ralf said, setting his black horse in motion.
Dennis followed at a distance, along the path into the poplar forest that accompanied them to the Rhine.
Dennis watched the man in front of him lead the horse; the narrow waist, this graceful movement that resembled floating. Ralf was born to ride horses, he thought. They were one up front, rider and horse merged into a graceful unit. Dennis took a deep breath. 
Despite the unplanned company, he felt comfortable, somehow. Why couldn't Ralf be his friend? Just like that, without the gay stuff around it? He could have lived with that, definitely. He didn't dare to see the future and the difficulties that such a one-sided friendship would bring with it.
When the desire grows stronger and stronger, to the point where you break down. Where you can't help but confess your love for the other.
They left the forest and the wide Rheinaue opened up in front of them. There was plenty of space to ride, most people weren't up yet, it was almost lonely out there.
Ralf stopped his horse and Dennis caught up with him.
The horses trotted restlessly on the spot.
“Shall we sprint?” Ralf suddenly asked.
Immediately, the red lights went on in Dennis' mind. What could that mean now? What could you do there? He felt strong enough to do a sprint, no doubt about it.
He took a deep breath. Should he take the risk? Billy is in top form, it can't fail with the two of us, he thought.
Yes, I'm game. Up to what?
Ralf smiled. Stunning, enchanting. Dennis began to discard all his doubts and accusations. If he was the one who was responsible for his accident, then at that moment it didn't matter at all.
“To the landmark?“ Ralf said, turning his head in the direction they were going.
“Great. And what about the winner?” Dennis wanted to know after all.
“Should there be one?“ Ralf asked in return.
Dennis wondered what he could have meant by that, but then just shrugged his shoulders.
“Should there be a winner after all? The prize is secret,” said Ralf, getting his horse into position.
The milestone was a kilometer away, right at the side of the road. Without a referee, it didn't make any sense anyway, but Dennis just went along with it.
He positioned himself directly next to him and looked ahead, then to Ralf on his right. Eye level. Those wonderful eyes, those sensual lips.
Ready, steady, go!
At the same time, the horses started to move, from a standing start into a furious gallop. The path was wide enough for the two of them, so they could concentrate fully on the track. The path was dry and there were only a few stones lying around. There were no water channels or other obstacles. And it was almost straight as a die.
Two plumes of dust rose behind them into the blue sky and the cheers of the two riders could be heard from afar. Driven by furies, they raced along the path, as if propelled by a mighty, invisible force.
The wind was cool as it hit them, the horses opened their mouths and shreds of foam were torn apart by the headwind.
Dennis leaned further and further forward, his upper body against the neck of his horse, like a jockey. Ralf did the same, and gradually they went into a frenzy. They sped up, driving their horses to the limit with their whips.
Then it came, the boundary stone approached them at breakneck speed.
The riders saw the same thing, experienced the same moment. The front legs of their horses passed through the dark shadow that the boundary stone cast over the path by the still low-lying sun at the same moment.
There was no winner.
Slowly they let their horses run out, only gradually slowing down their speed until they came to a halt.
The air was filled with the panting of the animals and riders, who only slowly returned from their intoxication. Without the cooling headwind, their faces and clothes became soaked with sweat. Hearts were pounding and mouths stuck together dry.
Ralf straightened his jacket and turned his horse in the direction from which they had come.
“Great. That was fun,” he gasped. ‘You too?”
Dennis nodded, panting for air, and turned Billy as well.
“We were neck and neck,’ Dennis said after several minutes of silence.
Ralf grinned.
“I said there wouldn't be a winner.”
“And what would have been his prize?”
Ralf looked at the ground, then into the distance. He pushed his helmet further back on his head and wiped his face with a handkerchief.
“What do you say we ride to the Schnakenwirt and have a drink?”
Dennis didn't even want to know the answer. Ralf had accepted that at least today they were equally fast and strong, and that was prize enough for him.
Yes, why not. If he's already open so early?
Ralf just nodded and slowly they rode towards the Rhine, where an old, small hut stood. You could take a break there; the day-trippers, anglers, riders, whoever. And because in summer the mosquitoes could become a big nuisance here, the hut was simply called the “Mosquito Inn”.
The sun was beginning to beat down as they reached the first trees on the banks of the Rhine again.
They got off and let the animals drink from the river, while Ralf sat down exhausted under a tree and leaned against the trunk.
Dennis did the same. They looked out at the ships, which chugged along evenly, and followed the small white clouds in the sky.
He would have liked to sit like that, next to Ralf, for the rest of his life. He turned his head to the young man and looked at him. Ralf had closed his eyes briefly and was sitting there very peacefully. No, it wasn't a one-time thing. I want it to be like this often, Dennis pleaded. Sitting next to you, very close, often. By day or by night, it doesn't matter. Rain, snow, heat – what can it do to me when you're with me? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
What are you thinking about?, Ralf suddenly interrupted the silence, which was only broken by the gurgling of the small waves on the shore.
What am I thinking? That that was nice.
Ralf plucked a plant stem out of the ground, shortened it and began to chew on the panicle. It looked funny as she bobbed up and down, back and forth.
So, did you like it?
Dennis just nodded, words began to bother him. They could destroy so much. Better to say nothing.
“Why did you want to come with me?“ he asked after all.
Ralf blinked at him.
“I just felt like it.”
“And if there had been someone else?” I mean...
“No,” his fellow swimmer interrupted him, ”I couldn't have raced against anyone like that. I would have won every time.”
“And you didn't want that today?”
Winning? Yes, sure. I always want to win, you know that, don't you?”
Dennis was getting restless.
“And what if I had won?”
“Then we wouldn't be sitting here now.”
Dennis leaned back again. Despite how he felt about Ralf, he didn't like this selfish behavior. He stood up, took Billy by the bridle, got into the stirrups and sat up.
“Where are you going?”
“I don't know if I like your attitude. Right now, I don't.”
Wait, I didn't mean it. Let's go get a drink, we can talk a little more.”
Dennis hesitated. Did it make sense? What could he lose? Nothing anymore. At most he could win, because he would tell Ralf once and for all what he thought of him, should Ralf continue talking along these lines.
The hut had just opened when they arrived. They tied their horses to the back wall and bought a bottle of beer from the old man. Dennis had never drunk alcohol so early, but there's always a first time, he thought.
They sat down on the large square stones at the edge of the water and drank a toast to each other.
Ralf took off his boots and socks and let the cool water wash around his feet. Dennis swallowed. Nice feet, he thought. As nice as the hands...
“You know,” Ralf started the conversation, ”I must seem like a snob to you. Conceited, selfish and vain. Right?”
Dennis listened intently, because that was exactly his impression.
“Yes, but you weren't always like that. Remember the early days?”
Ralf waved that off.
“Yes, but have you looked at yourself lately?”
Dennis jumped.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, how do you think it came about that I avoided you?”
I don't know. But I thought I did when I started winning all the prizes.
Yes, that's right. You had nothing else on your mind but riding, riding, riding. And then you started hanging out with that Mirko guy. He's just rich, nothing more.
Dennis wanted to protest, but then thought about what he had to say. Could there be something to it?
You don't have to say anything now, but maybe you'll think about how I felt. Suddenly everything was all about you. Dennis, the winner. The pretty boy who was pined for by the women...?
You were jealous?
Dennis took a big gulp.
Maybe not the right word, but I felt like an old broom that had been put in the corner.”
“Ralf, I didn't mean to, I promise. I thought you envied me all of this and?”
“What?”
Ralf blinked at him again.
Dennis finished the rest of the bottle. His courage was rising. Infinite courage.
Ralf, I suffered a lot from you avoiding me. Much more than you can imagine. Mirko stuck up for me, that's why he was always around me. I didn't have anyone else, as you surely noticed.
And why didn't you talk to me about it?
You kept out of my way all the time. If I had wanted to talk to you about it, I would have done it in private, not in front of a crowd or in passing.
Ralf crossed his arms behind his head and stared out at the water.
And what do we do now that we've learned this?
Quite simply, Ralf. I would like to have you as a friend. I've always wanted that. And I can offer you my friendship. You just have to say yes.
Ralf stood up uncertainly; beer in the morning was not his thing.
“I don't know if I want you as a friend,” he said quite loudly and belched rudely.
Dennis didn't know whether he found that repulsive or not.
“What do you mean, you don't know?”
“Well, the way I say it. I usually choose my friends and don't let them be foisted on me.”
Now the cup was full. After he jumped up, Dennis started screaming.
Listen. I'm not forcing anything on you, not at all. I made you an offer to bury this ungrateful war. That's it. But the Lord has no need of friends, he doesn't need any.
He felt the tears welling up in his eyes.
You don't have any friends, not even a girlfriend, I know that. And the question of why not? Well, just look at yourself. Listen to what you say. You can't stand to offend people who like you, and that's what you want and what you're good at. I don't even know why I'm still talking to you at all.
Ralf had listened without moving.
“Are you finished now?”
Dennis was boiling with rage. He took a swing and hurled the empty bottle out into the Rhine.
“No, damn it, I'm not finished yet. I loved you, you idiot. Yes, loved you. I would never get too close to you, but I wanted you close to me. To be with you, to be around you without getting on your nerves. I was happy the first time I was with you, like never before. And I tried hard at the tournaments because I did it for you. So that you would pay attention to me, not turn away.?
His voice became hoarse and louder.
But it doesn't matter anymore. Good, understandable, because now you have a reason to avoid me. You can't be with a gay guy, not you, who doesn't even have straight friends. Go and announce it, then you'll have achieved what you wanted. Then I'll be out of the club and you can win your prizes in peace. Be it granted to you?
With that, he stomped off to his horse with the appropriate amount of anger in his belly. As he climbed into the stirrup and was about to mount, a hand was laid around his waist.
“You don't have to help me up. Gays are quite capable of helping themselves,” he spat, trying not to turn around so Ralf couldn't see his tears.
He stood behind him, still holding him, saying nothing.
With a jerk, Dennis freed himself from the embrace, swung himself onto Billy's saddle and rode off without looking back.
His damp cheeks felt cool, pleasant, and yet it hurt. Was what he had done right? He didn't know. He tried not to think about anything. Tomorrow he would take his things out of the riding hall; there were other clubs in the area. Despite his anger, he was proud of himself.
He had told whoever he wanted to. Sandra and Ralf were just the beginning. His mother would hear about it today and tomorrow the people at work. He knew he had to get out of this second, false skin. The one in which he was known as a well-behaved, nice boy. Who of course had to be heterosexual.
He hadn't heard Ralf coming up behind him, but suddenly he was riding next to him.
“And how are you now?” he asked.
Dennis winced briefly, then he ran the back of his hand over his face. However, why shouldn't Ralf see the tears? There was no better proof that he was serious.
“How am I doing?” As if you still care. I feel sick, everything is spinning, I'm tired and I don't want to talk anymore.”
“Why are you so toxic?”
Dennis laughed painfully.
“Toxic? Me, toxic? Sorry, I can't laugh at that joke.”
“It's not a joke.”
Why are you even talking to a fag?
Ralf shook his head smilingly, but Dennis didn't notice.
See, you're doing it again. All I wanted to know was how you are.
I told you. Anything else?
Yes.
Ralf trotted quickly forward and stood in the way of Dennis and Billy. The horse whinnied and stopped.
“Hey, what's the idea? Get out of our way.”
“No. If you listened to me, you can ride on.”
“I don't want to listen to you anymore, damn it.”
“You won't have much choice.”
He gave in. It didn't really matter what Ralf had to say. He would take note of it and ride home, it was as simple as that.
Ralf crossed his arms in front of the saddle, leaned forward and started to talk calmly.
“You didn't let me get a word in edgewise earlier. I didn't even consider how you felt about me. I really thought you wanted to be alone in the spotlight and you didn't care about me at all. That I misinterpreted it? I'm sorry about that.
Dennis tried not to listen, but he didn't leave. Every single word penetrated his ears, sounding like the soft ringing of a wind chime.
That you love me... I didn't realize that either...
Yes, sure. I can understand that...
Please let me finish. For me it was the worst that you were suddenly attached to this Mirko.
Why was that bad? Besides, I wasn't attached to him. I never wanted anything from him.
Ralf's eyes widened.
No?
No, why is that so important?
The sun beat down on the two of them, sweat ran down their temples and the flies started to get annoying. Ralf got off his horse and stood next to Billy.
“Come on, get off.”
“Why?”
“Why not?”
Reluctantly, Dennis swung himself out of the saddle and came to the ground next to Ralf.
“Well?”
Without saying another word, Ralf grabbed Dennis by the neck and pulled him towards him. His eyes widened, he wanted to fight back, but he was paralyzed. For a few seconds he thought about his last minute, about the fact that everything was about to end.
He was the one who had caused the bang. He had probably also hoped that he would fall during the race. But the look in Ralf's eyes brought him out of his fear. Right over to the other side. They came closer and closer, Dennis? Tension dissolved more and more and then he let himself go. Falling into another world, which revealed itself to him through the warmth and softness of two lips.
He slumped down, letting Ralf simply hold him before he put his arms around Ralf's waist and clasped his hands on his back.
“Ralf?” he managed to say after what seemed like an eternity. ‘Why are you doing this?”
They were still hugging, and didn't care that two cyclists rode past them and stared at them so intently that they almost fell.
“Why?’ Ralf replied quietly. ”I love you, that's why.”
“Yes, but?”
Shh, don't talk now. Unless you don't want the first prize...?
They kissed again.
They rode slowly back on the path under the tall trees, whose leaves reflected the sunlight in dancing spots on their faces and bodies.
Dennis didn't mind that Ralf was riding in front of him and not next to him, or that they had to talk loudly to understand each other. He wouldn't have minded even if they had been heard from here in the riding arena.
“You love people who can stand up for themselves and fight back?” Dennis asked, his eyes shining as brightly as the sun.
Yes. I only knew from you that you were educated, could speak softly and pleasantly, and that you were quite pretty. Nothing more. That was not enough for me. But then all that happened and I thought you had started something with Mirko. That's why I avoided you. I didn't think you would talk to me again. And today, the race, that was a coincidence. And then a challenge. I would have found out today what was going on with you and him. That's all I wanted.?
?But how did you come to think that I was gay? You must have known that then??
?I didn't know that, I hoped so, night after night.?
?Then it wasn't you with the bang??
Ralf laughed out loud.
“No. I heard and saw you fall off Billy. But I knew exactly where it came from and ran. That was Gr?gers Kurt in his allotment. He wanted to chase away blackbirds.?
“Did you forbid him?”
Ralf coughed.
“Um... Yes.”
Dennis could now more or less imagine this “ban”.
“Oh?”
Ralf stopped his black horse and grinned to himself.
“What's the matter? Why aren't you riding on?” Dennis called to the front.
Ralf turned around in the saddle and laughed at him.
“Do all gay friendships actually start with a serious argument?”
Dennis laughed back.
I don't think so, but who knows what kind of omen it is...
Then the riding hall lay before them and Tiffy came running towards the riders, barking loudly. For a moment Dennis feared he would wake up from a dream.
He didn't wake up.
**End**

Mr. Right
Here I present you my very first story. I'm curious to see how you like it and look forward to lots of feedback. Enjoy reading!
Nick
The sun shone through the window and drew a glittering path on the bedspread. I lay in his strong arms and enjoyed his closeness and warmth. How quietly he lay there, how slowly and evenly his breath came.
I didn't dare to move for fear of waking him. Instead, I let my eyes glide over our naked bodies, as far as the blanket allowed me to see. We lay entwined on my large bed.
His skin was almost as tanned as mine and his dark hair was at least as disheveled as mine. It had been absolutely amazing – so intimate and heartfelt, so beautiful. I would never have dreamt of it. At the beginning, I hadn't even realized my inclinations.
When I turned sixteen and my best friend at the time brought his new girlfriend to my birthday, I felt something like jealousy rising up in me for the first time. Ray had often had a girlfriend, but I had never had to watch him court.
I suppressed the thought of jealousy, but reacted permanently irritated to Ray's new flame. Whereupon he decided that I also needed a girlfriend. After all, I hadn't had one up to that point and never felt like I needed one.
Especially not those butterflies in my stomach. So what else could I do but give in to Ray's urging?
I can still hear him saying, “My girlfriend has a friend who's totally into you.”
So the said friend, I can't and don't want to remember her name, was invited to a joint video night. I dreaded that evening and of course it came faster than expected.
It hurt a lot to see my best friend wildly smooching with his flame, but the worst thing was that said friend was getting into my pants. I urgently needed fresh air and just ran out.
Later, I told Ray as an excuse that she was not my type, which he actually believed. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. It wasn't until a year later, when I was still single and had to listen to stupid comments and remarks, that I was sure.
I wasn't exactly ugly and women definitely liked my sky-blue eyes. Ray and I started arguing. In the heat of the moment, he said something like that I must be gay since I didn't even like the hottest woman in town. I looked at him in horror, but he was right!
But the worst thing was that I was in love with him. But I couldn't possibly tell him that now. After this big fight, it wasn't the same between us as it used to be, and when Ray wanted to move away a few weeks later because he had gotten an apprenticeship elsewhere, I confessed my love to him out of desperation.
At first he laughed. Then he realized how serious I was and said that he would have always protected me if the others had said something like that. He left. He left without saying another word.
I had known him since we were both in the sandbox and I couldn't understand his reaction. It hurt a lot. I knew that he wouldn't return my love, but I didn't expect him to end our friendship. Even if he did it silently.
Ray should have shouted or sworn at me. That would have been much easier. So I decided to come out to my big sister. She had already guessed and consoled me about Ray.
“The right one will come along sooner or later. Or many rights?” she joked.
On my eighteenth birthday, I came out to my parents. My father went completely crazy, screamed at me and threw me out. My mother didn't say a word, as always, she was submissive to my father.
That same evening, I went to my sister's. We had both expected that it would turn out this way and my sister had promised me that I could stay with her for a while.
From then on, things should get better. My sister stood behind me and tried to get me an apprenticeship and a one-room apartment. That was the beginning of my new life. I quickly found a connection.
My neighbor Sven introduced me to his friends. I took a particular shine to Jessy, who everyone called JJ. I'll never forget our first night together after we met. We snuggled up on the balcony, wrapped in a thick blanket, and talked all night long.
When breakfast was served in the flat share at ten o'clock, we were glad to be able to warm up with a coffee. JJ was the first person to whom I openly said that I was gay too. It was only when I realized how relaxed things were here that I was able to come out without fear.
I think JJ and I agreed early on that we belonged together, but we wanted to get to know each other first. We spent most of our free time together, and even some of our non-free time together. How often did I go to JJ's when he had to work and sip on a drink all evening, since something like that can also be quite expensive.
After a while, as a regular guest, I was allowed to enter for free. And now, after four months of flirting, teasing and fooling around, we were finally together. Of course, we didn't want to wait to have sex. I didn't regret that we did it right away. It was beautiful!
Jessy
The sun was shining a little through the window. It was still early, but already light. When I looked to the side, my hazel eyes met a blue sea in which I sank. I remembered, as if in a trance, last night.
We were alone for once. Nick and I. I had the night off and he already had the weekend off. For weeks it had been on the tip of my tongue: “I like you. I love you.” What's the best way to say something like that?
Normally, it should be easy for me, given my experience. I had my first time at fourteen. Even though I wasn't particularly proud of the fact that it happened so early. I only knew him fleetingly, and knew only his name and that he was gay, but that was enough.
Sammy. My first. Seventeen years old. He was in the graduating class at the school and took advantage of my gullibility. I couldn't even say that it was good, we just did it. Or rather, he did it and I just held still.
It was quick. He ignored me afterwards, pretended he didn't know me. Sammy graduated just a few weeks later and I never saw him again, which was probably for the best.
I cried on my mother's shoulder, who raised me alone and has been my best friend to this day. She also let me move into a shared flat at seventeen. I inherited the house from my uncle.
Among the roommates was Mike, my best friend. I had met him when I was fifteen, practically running into him because I was late. He was three years older than me, so he was eighteen at the time and had just moved out of his parents' house because they never had time for him. He didn't know where to go, so I took him home with me.
My mother Barbara just laughed at me and said that I was always picking up stray cats. Just because I had brought home a small cat that I wanted to save from freezing to death.
Mike stayed and so I experienced a lot. He was gay, of age, handsome and of course had a lot of friends that I should all meet. It was the beginning of a wild time - a very wild time.
I regretted nothing - almost nothing. Except for some SM stuff, I think I had pretty much done everything. I experimented until I turned eighteen. I stand by it, because that time is part of me.
When my uncle died, I was sixteen. He left me a large house just two streets from my home. My mother had to accept the inheritance for me until I came of age.
At seventeen, I really wanted to move into the house. I annoyed my mother so much that she finally gave in. However, only on the condition that I did not move in there alone, after all, such a house cost quite a bit.
Besides Mike, two more flatmates were quickly found, which did not seem difficult. Besides me, Mike had a very good friend named Ben. He looked like an angel and was only a year younger than Mike.
He was also as happy as I was to get away from home. He was bisexual, although he was more attracted to women.
And the last one was Chris. He had just turned eighteen and was only having trouble with his father. He was doing his training with my mother in the hospital, who, by the way, was a nurse.
Maybe that's why she was so easy-going, because she constantly had to deal with all kinds of characters. Anyway, Chris was happy to move in with us. He always claimed to be straight, although I was sure that he and Ben had already...
All in all, we were a great bunch. We had one thing or another in common and were open to everything. There was always a party at the weekend and so the time until my eighteenth birthday flew by.
Mike actually wanted to throw a huge party for me. But what he didn't count on was that no one seemed to have time that weekend. There were big events in the neighboring towns.
Basically, it's not a problem; you could also celebrate outside the city, but Mike had an important business dinner and I didn't want to celebrate without my best friend. So it happened that I spent the evening alone at first.
Many congratulations came via text message and some called. Barbara also had to work. But she had already congratulated me at a joint birthday breakfast. Mike surprised me, however, by coming home earlier than expected.
He brought an ice cream cake from our favorite ice cream parlor, which made me very happy. Mike apologized, though, and told me that he would have liked to throw a huge party. But I just replied that the greatest gift was having him with me.
He knew. He had known it all these years. How much I loved him. Only I hadn't realized anything, because only now did I realize it. As the situation demanded, we kissed and slept together.
The next morning we were surprised by Chris and Ben, who had taken the first train home, which was really embarrassing for me. I immediately disappeared into the shower and cried for a while.
How could this happen? I fell in love with Mike, of all people, the heartbreaker who had never had a serious relationship. And now, of all times, I had to realize that all these years I had only been looking for the man of my life. I wanted a serious relationship and no more fooling around. I jumped when Mike suddenly appeared behind me in the shower.
“What's wrong?“ he asked.
“I love you,” I sobbed.
“I know,“ Mike replied.
“Shit, I love you. Why you?” I managed through my tears.
“Thanks,“ Mike mumbled.
“What's wrong with me?” he wanted to know.
“I don't want to share you!” ‘You hear me!”
I put my arms around Mike and shouted at him.
“I don't want to share you!”
“You don't have to,’ he simply replied. 
No sooner said than done. So we got together. Unfortunately, it only lasted half a year. Mike loved his freedom more than he loved me. Even though today he still professes how much he loves me and how important I was to him.
Fortunately, it didn't harm our friendship. I even think that the relationship welded us together more tightly. Who had sex with their best friend? That was a year ago.
All that time I was single. There was the occasional guy, but nothing ever came of it. I had followed my mother's wishes and completed an apprenticeship as a hairdresser. After that she gave me permission to pursue my passion – dancing.
*-*-*
I always got along well with my boss. When he was out, because he still had several clubs, I was always in charge, so no one was surprised when he signed over the club “Cliffs” to me one day.
However, that meant more work for me. Just now my Mr. Right had to move in, of all people? Nick. But that didn't stop us from finding each other. With my open manner, I told him that evening.
We laughed a lot and fooled around. Actually, as always, but the mood was much more sizzling than usual.
“You're really great!“ I said.
“What do you mean?” Nick asked.
“Just like I say it. I like you! I'm totally into you! And I never want to be without you again!” I replied honestly.
Nick smiled.
Jessy
I looked into his beautiful, deep brown eyes. I sank into them and forgot everything around me.
My hands were on his hips and I gently pulled him towards me. I pressed my abdomen against his. I enjoyed this feeling, this closeness for a brief moment.
There was only him and me. Heat flooded my body. I couldn't hide how aroused I was anymore, how hot I was for him. I had waited too long for this moment. To feel him.
To taste him. I wet my lips and kissed him tentatively. Just briefly. A breath. His lips were as soft as they looked. I could hardly hold back, but did so and waited.
Waited for him to take the next step. Patiently. Even if it only took seconds for him to lean over to me to kiss me passionately, it seemed like half an eternity.
His lips touched mine.
How hot his tongue was. How good he tasted. How good he felt. I pulled him a little closer to me and gently stroked through his curly brown hair. I could hardly keep my hands to myself, I had to force myself not to eat him up right here in the kitchen.
Maybe not to make love with him at all yet. He probably needed time, after all it was his first time. I carefully pulled back from the kiss and looked into his beautiful eyes again.
They were glowing. Fire and passion were reflected in them. He took my hand and led me up the stairs. Actually, I was the one who was at home here. But he had felt comfortable here for a long time, and it seemed to me as if he also lived here.
At least, he usually behaved like that.
One more flight of stairs and we were standing in front of my room. The entire third floor was mine, with a private bathroom and a large terrace. He opened the door and pulled me inside. Again our lips touched, our tongues met, our bodies were close again.
Somehow I managed to close the door behind us without either of us having to let go. He was so demanding. I was wrong in my assumption that he wasn't ready yet.
Our tongues played fiercely with each other, our lips opened and closed hotly and intimately. How I loved this wet game. Now I couldn't and wouldn't keep my hands to myself anymore.
I let them slowly wander under his T-shirt, gently caressing his slim yet muscular back. When he broke away from our kiss, I was afraid I had gone too far.
But he quickly pulled the shirt over his head and then went on to mine. Which, with my help, also landed on the floor. Our lips united again.
How good his naked skin felt, so soft and hot. His stomach was almost as flat as mine and his abs were delicately defined, which I was only too happy to caress. Now he too could no longer hide his excitement.
I snuggled up against his chest. I loved that he was a good head taller than me, even though he was a year and a half younger than me. Sweet eighteen. He fumbled awkwardly with my jeans.
“Oh man, help me out here,” he whined.
“Are you sure you want to go that far? Once the pants are off, I can't guarantee anything,“ I grinned at him.
“Then don't guarantee anything,” he replied and took off his pants.
Okay, he wanted it that way.
So I took off my pants too. We lay down on the bed, side by side, and kissed again. Now the kisses felt even better. We snuggled up against each other. I sealed his lips with mine and then let my tongue go on a journey.
Along his neck to his earlobe, where he was very sensitive. I noticed that he moaned softly, barely audible, and got a fine goose bumps all over his body. So I had to remember this place.
I caressed him further. His breathing quickened. Now I also let my hands go on a hike. When I slide up these his thighs, I paused for a moment.
His eyes were closed, his breathing was calm, how still he lay there and let everything happen.
“How beautiful you are,“ I couldn't get out more, after all, I still couldn't believe my luck.
He opened his eyes and smiled at me.
“You're torturing me on purpose, right?”
“What?” I didn't understand a word.
But at the same moment, he pushed me onto the pillows. Now he was on top and although he had never done it before, he was really damn good. The man was driving me crazy. No wonder, I had butterflies in my stomach from the first moment.
Still, I had never believed in love at first sight, because normally it had always taken me longer for something like that to happen. We were simply on the same wavelength. Why had it taken only four months for us to find each other?
Maybe there was just too much fear. I just wanted to be sure that we belonged together and that everything was right. And now, at this very moment, my little dream prince was sitting on my lap and caressing my neck.
So he had also found my sensitive spot as quickly as I had found his. Nick made me moan, and that was saying something, since I didn't usually moan. I gently pushed him up, kissed him again and carefully guided him down from me.
I teased him a little more and gently bit his belly, which I then covered with kisses. I kissed my way back up to Nick's lips, where he wildly received me. This heat.
There was a tremendous crackling in the air, which felt damn good. It had been an eternity since the last time. We bit around fiercely and my hands caressed Nick's body, along his back, to his firm buttocks.
Carefully, my fingers slid between his buttocks. Nick shuddered and winced. I could have slapped myself at that moment, because instead of taking things slowly, I went for broke.
“It's okay,” I said, ”we don't have to.”
Nick smiled: “No! I want it. Just promise to be careful.”
“I promise.”
Why shouldn't I be careful? After all, I loved Nick and wanted him to enjoy it and want to do it again. I sealed my promise with a kiss and now let my tongue wander over Nick's body.
First to one of his earlobes to drive him crazy, then I nibbled on his nipples and bit his flat stomach again. I kissed my way up his left thigh and then the right, and then released his body, which was squirming beneath me, to caress HIM.
Nick groaned with relish. I enclosed his hardness with my lips and let my tongue play. Only when Nick stroked my head did I gently let go of him. When he seemed relieved, I looked at him.
“That was really close,” Nick wheezed.
I had to grin: ”That's good.”
Now I lifted one of Nick's legs and licked along his thigh. Nick could hardly keep still under me. Only when I slid my tongue deeper, was Nick suddenly very calm. My hand had a firm grip on his best piece and my tongue paved the way.
Nick kept still and I could feel how he gained confidence and started. With a finger I slowly rubbed over his sphincter muscle, but made sure that it was okay. I paused briefly and moistened my finger, with which I stroked his sphincter muscle again.
Now Nick surprised me by simply taking my hand. At first I thought he wanted to push it away, but instead he pushed my finger into his heat.
At that same moment, Nick drew in a sharp breath. “Slowly,” I admonished him and pulled him to me, into a kiss.
“Are you okay?” I asked, concerned.
'Now I am,' Nick replied and kissed me again, deeply and passionately.
I released myself, caressed his ear lobe and when Nick pressed against me, I began to move my finger slowly. Nick stroked my back and I withdrew my finger from his heat.
I heard him sigh and couldn't help grinning as he pushed my hand down again. While hot kisses were being exchanged, I opened the drawer of my bedside table to rummage around for lubricant and a condom.
Meanwhile, Nick slid down between me. On the first attempt, he choked and coughed.
“Hey, take it easy,“ I admonished him again. But he had already started on the second attempt and this time he made it without any problems.
“Slowly! Otherwise...” I warned him.
I pushed him up again before this game came to a premature end and massaged his hole with lubricant. Meanwhile, Nick tried to put a condom on me.
“Is it complicated?” he grumbled. I took over this task and in the meantime, Nick got himself into position as if he had done it countless times before.
I carefully entered Nick's heat, kissing him to distract him. Slowly, very slowly. Just halfway in at first. I paused briefly, looking into Nick's beautiful, light blue eyes.
He nodded and I pulled him close.
Nick let out a lustful groan. I grinned again, unable and unwilling to hold back any longer. I slowly began to move and kissed him passionately. Nick let himself go completely.
We increased the rhythm immeasurably. Nick moaned harder and harder, throwing his head from side to side. And then, like fireworks, we exploded in ecstasy. I gasped for breath and collapsed on the bed next to Nick.
That happened pretty fast. Maybe because we were just way too hot for each other. We smiled at each other and snuggled up to each other, caressing and kissing.
“You okay?“ I asked Nick.
“Never better!” he replied, “But next time?” Nick's hands started to roam.
stroking over my back to my butt and finally his fingers stroked along between my cheeks.
“Next time I want you!“ he completed his sentence.
“Nothing would please me more,” I was able to reply before Nick's lips sealed mine in demand.
*-* end*-*

It was a Friday evening. I had once again had a lot of stress with my boyfriend, which has been anything but rare lately. Unfortunately, he tended to lend not only verbal but also physical emphasis to his arguments.
After the argument, I decided to go to Steven's. We had met on the internet. The fact that he was only 15 and thus three years younger didn't bother me. Up to that point, we had only met each other twice, but we realized during those meetings that we had a lot in common. Not what you're thinking now, but on a purely friendly basis. I also got along very well with his parents, Carolin and Matthias.
And now I was standing in the living room of this family, listening to the crackling of the fireplace behind me, looking out of the window into the darkness and thinking. Steven and his mom had already gone to bed because they both had to get up early the next day. I had decided to sleep in the living room so that I wouldn't have to wake Steven up if I came to him in bed. I unfolded the couch and got ready for bed. I took off my jeans and sweater. In shorts and a T-shirt, it would be warm enough in the living room.
“My God, Kay, what happened to you?”
“Oh Matthias, I thought you were asleep. It's okay if I sleep on the couch, isn't it?
Yes, of course. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. But what happened to your back?
Um, why?
I just caught a glimpse of it when you took off your sweater, and what I saw was not exactly a pretty sight. Who did this to you?
Oh, my boyfriend got a little worked up. No big deal.
I smiled at him, but he just raised his eyebrows.
“I'll get a wound and healing ointment. Wait?”
He got the ointment and I had to take off my shirt and let him “doctor” my back.
“So, that's it.
Thank you.” I looked at the floor and didn't really know what to do. I was ashamed of my boyfriend and what he had done.
“You should think about finding a new boyfriend.”
“I know.”
He took me in his arms. I was glad because I really needed a little comfort. I pressed myself against him and buried my head in his shoulder. I could have stood like this forever. I felt safe and secure with Matthias. However, it seemed that something else also felt quite secure with him. I noticed how my blood slowly rose to a place where it really shouldn't be right now, and I was sure that Matthias noticed it too.
“I'm sorry,”
He laughed.
Hey, it's not your fault that your body goes crazy with an old man like me.
I had to laugh because Matthias was really anything but old. Well, he was already 39, but he was young at heart. He was still up to all kinds of mischief and was always good for a laugh. What's more, he was devilishly handsome. He was a little taller than me and had a slight hint of gray in his hair, which only added to his attractiveness.
He took me in his arms again and held me close. At that moment, I realized that his trousers were also somewhat more baggy than would normally have been the case. He stroked my neck, ran his fingers carefully down my back, then held me tightly at the waist and pushed me slightly away from him. He looked me in the eye.
“Are the other two already asleep?”
“Yes, I think so.”
My voice trembled. At that moment I knew what would happen and I was completely overwhelmed and excited at the same time. But Matthias pulled me close and kissed me tenderly on the mouth. From that moment on, my brain switched off and I just let it happen.
While kissing him, I took off his shirt and jeans, so that he was also only standing there in shorts. I caressed his lightly haired upper body, pressed myself against him and felt his erection. He caressed me too, hardly leaving any part of my body untouched. We lay down on the couch and kissed each other long and tenderly. I made my way into his shorts and he let out a lustful groan. It wasn't long before the last of my inhibitions had fled, along with his. 
I lay on my back and Matthias bent over me and began to kiss my whole body. From my forehead to my mouth, from there to my earlobes, which he nibbled on tenderly, followed by my neck, down my chest, over my belly button, the inside of my thighs, my testicles and then?he took it in his mouth. I thought I would die, I had such an incredible feeling. He pleasured me orally for a while and I moaned and sighed softly to myself. Then he massaged me until I came after a few wonderful minutes. Actually, I hadn't planned on it yet, but at that moment I just couldn't control it anymore. Besides, it looked like that's what Matthias wanted.
He smiled at me and lay on top of me. It didn't bother him that I was a bit sticky. He gave me a long, passionate kiss and I felt how aroused he was, and not only from that.
I stroked his back and kneaded his well-formed buttocks. He moaned again, rolled off me and I lay down on my side with my back to him. He stroked my buttocks and spread some of the juice that I had lost a short time before on a certain spot. Then he carefully penetrated me? I don't know how long it lasted, but it was an indescribably beautiful feeling. I was in a kind of frenzy, and when Matthias reached his climax, I felt that I had come once more.
After that, we cleaned ourselves up, removed any traces, and snuggled up close together once more.
“It was wonderful, Kay.”
I smiled at Matthias and gave him a last little kiss. We both knew that it was the first and last time and that it was wonderful?
END

Bernd
I still looked at the magazine, which I discovered in my son's room when I was putting things away. I still looked at this magazine and the naked man who smiled at me on the front page. Trembling, I went into the kitchen and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs.
“Can't it be my son, a FAG?” The word kept going through my mind. What am I going to do? What did I do wrong? I didn't even realize that tears were running down my face. My son a gay?..
Who could I talk to about this? Karin! Karin is my best friend and is a doctor, maybe she can help me! Like a drowning man, I staggered to the phone and dialed Karin's number.
On the other end, I heard the dial tone, then a click as the receiver was picked up.
“Hello, Karin Manske?”
“Hi, it's Bernd. Karin, I need to talk to you, I don't know what else to do.” Then I started crying.
Kevin
Man, what a day that was. Our math teacher Schrulle, that was his nickname, had tortured us for two hours again, and on top of that, we had gotten a new guy in our class. Oh man, he looked cute. Steven was his name and I was blown away.
I just arrived home and unlocked the door.
“Pa, hello, I'm back from the torture chamber.”
No answer, which was strange, as my dad would normally come running and ask me what our torturers had done to us.
Well, maybe he still had to go shopping, or there was trouble at work and he had to go back there. I went to my room and threw my backpack in the corner. Something was very wrong in my room.
I looked around my room warily. The laundry basket was gone and my closet was open. Oh no, the magazine. I had bought a gay newspaper and had hidden it in my clothes.
I ran to my closet in panic and felt under the shorts for the newspaper. My fingers felt the magazine, I breathed out relieved. Phew, lucky again. Then I went to get a bottle of coke from the kitchen. Somehow it looked like someone had left everything and fled from this chaos.
There must have been a lot of trouble at work for Pa. At least that was my thought when I saw the kitchen.
By the way, my name is Kevin, I'm 16 years old and I live alone with my father. My mom died 5 years ago in a car crash, since then my father raised me alone and we got along quite well.
Dad was my best friend all those years. But I also had my secrets and one of them was that I felt attracted to boys. I couldn't deal with it until now; I didn't trust my father to confide my feelings about it.
I was afraid of hurting him and as I had read on the internet, the outbursts of emotion when parents found out about their children were not always edifying. I started by cleaning up the kitchen, and I heard the front door open.
Bernd
Karin had time for me immediately and I made my way to her. She was my and Kevin's best friend. She helped us wherever she could and, to be honest, she was also my girlfriend.
Me and Karin had been together for over three years, we only told Kevin a year ago. He had already had enough to deal with, not having a mother, so I had kept my private life to a minimum.
Kevin was at the top of my list, and Karin was on the list quite a while later. She had always understood and accepted it, but a year ago she started pushing me to slowly move her up the list a bit.
I have to say that she has a daughter who also wanted to have a family again. Her name is Sabrina, she was the same age as Kevin and a nice girl. She and Kevin got along great and often spent the weekends together. A thought crossed my mind as to whether she knew about Kevin?
With these thoughts in mind, I arrived at Karin's apartment and pressed the doorbell. As if Karin had been standing behind the door, just waiting for it, she flung it open.
“Come in, Bernd!” She pulled me into the hallway and took me in her arms. I couldn't help it and started to cry again.
After I had calmed down a bit, my eyes wandered along the hallway. Karin probably understood immediately who I was looking for.
I sent Sabrina to you to check on Kevin and NO, I didn't tell her why.
She pulled me into the living room and pushed me onto the sofa.
So now tell me very slowly what's going on.
Karin, Kevin, he has... in his cupboard... I burst into tears again.
Now, slowly. What does Kevin have in his cupboard?
He has a gay magazine hidden in his closet. What should I do? What did I do wrong?
Tears ran down my face, and I looked at Karin imploringly, as if she were the oracle who could tell me how to cure Kevin.
“Bernd, if Kevin is gay, does that change the way you feel about him?”
No! I shook my head violently.
But why my son of all people and how should I deal with it? I can't!
First of all, Bernd, what's so bad if it were like that? Secondly, I don't understand your sentence: “I can't?”
Well, I won't be able to hold him in my arms like before, will I?
Why not? Is he going to be a different person just because he'll rather love a boy? Bernd, I always thought you were open-minded about the world and everything in it. We don't live in the Middle Ages anymore, do we, when the church wanted to wipe out this DISEASE.?
Karin looked at me and hugged me.
Bernd, you know that as a doctor I have seen and experienced a lot. At the moment I have a boy in therapy who is gay. He came out to his parents. Do you know what his father did when the boy told them?
I shook my head and looked at her questioningly.
The father beat him half to death and then dumped him on the street like a piece of garbage. If a few neighbors hadn't called the police, the boy would be dead now. He's now sixteen years old and living with a foster family. What can the boy do to stop him being gay?
Oh my God Karin, you don't think that I would do that to Kevin, do you? My voice almost choked as I squeezed out the words.
Karin looked at me and shook her head.
No, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here talking to me about it. Bernd, I love you and I'm on your side, but I will intervene if you hurt Kevin.
I can't do that, Kevin is my everything. It's just that I don't know how to deal with it.
You shouldn't have to deal with it at all! It's up to Kevin to accept himself like that! You have to help him and continue to accept him as he is.
I slowly calmed down and nodded.
You're right. What should I do now?
First of all, it's important that you show Kevin that you don't have anything against gays.
And how? I must have had question marks all over my face.
Karin smiled at me.
“That's better, and that's how we'll approach it. First of all, when Kevin brings up the subject of homosexuality, you should try to say something positive about it. Kevin has to see that you're open to it and have no problems with it.”
“Yes, I'll probably do it that way.”
Then we talked for quite a while, and we also came to talk about the topic with the boy Karin was currently treating. What she asked me then was not so easy to answer. She wanted to take the boy in and since, as I understood it, we had enough space in the new house, that wouldn't be a problem. Yes, we planned to move in together in two weeks and we had bought the house together. Then I remembered that Kevin didn't even know about it yet.
Well, at first I wasn't so thrilled, but on the other hand, why not? The boy needed help and Karin wouldn't give in anyway.
After I nodded in agreement, she said, “I knew you wouldn't let me down. I love you, Bernd!”
Well, me and my big heart, what I had gotten myself into???!!!!
Kevin
?Hello, is anybody there??
I recognized Sabrina's voice and ran out of the kitchen into the hallway.
?Hi Sabrina, what are you doing here??
?I just wanted to see if my dearest Kevin is okay and how he feels!?
I had to smile. Sabrina was the only one I had told that I might like boys.
I'm fine, and you? I approached Sabrina and hugged her.
Oh man, stop it. Since my mom got this new one, she's hardly ever around and when she is, she only has one topic of conversation. Steven this and Steven that?
What's with this Steven guy?
Oh, he wasn't so lucky. His parents beat him half to death, as I understand it. Why, I don't know either. Anyway, he's now with a foster family.
Oh, and otherwise. How are our parents' preparations going? Have they already found an apartment where we can all live?
Sabrina laughed: “Yes, dear brother, they have. Say, hasn't your father told you anything yet?”
I shook my head: “No, he hasn't. But we've hardly seen each other this week either. He must be under a lot of stress at work.”
Sabrina nodded and we went into the kitchen together.
“Tell me, what does it look like here?”
“Yes, I know. When I came home, Dad wasn't there and the kitchen already looked like this.”
Well then, let's get it organized and then you can tell me if you've seen a nice boy?” she beamed at me.
We started by cleaning up the kitchen. When we were done, we went to my room and I told her about the new guy in our class.
I must have been beaming quite a bit, because Sabrina then said to me: “It seems like someone has really fallen for him.” What's his name?
“Ehhhmmm, Steven. Say, the boy your mother was talking about, wasn't his name Steven too?”
Sabrina nodded: “But that would be a big coincidence if it was the same Steven!” “Have you been writing with Crash again?”
Nah, he hasn't been online for a while. But maybe he'll be in the chat again today.
I met Crash in a forum, he never told me his real name. We'd been writing to each other for over half a year. Crash is gay and wanted to tell his parents, that was the last time I heard from him. Since then, there had been radio silence and I didn't know how his outing had gone.
Sadly, I shook my head: 'Sabrina, I just hope that everything went well for him!
How long has it actually been since he last got in touch?
I think it's been nine weeks now.
Sadly, I looked out of the window. Crash had become a person to whom I had confided everything about me. And now he hadn't contacted me for almost nine weeks.
“Hey Kevin will be fine. He'll definitely contact you, you'll see!” Sabrina looked at me encouragingly.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. From one second to the next, I started crying.
I miss him so much and he always encouraged me to stand by my homosexuality. Me?
Sabrina hugged me: “Shh, Kevin, everything will be fine. You'll see, he'll get in touch and besides, I'm still here too. I couldn't have wished for a better brother than you, Kevin. It's just a shame that a sweet guy like you likes boys.”
At these words, we both started giggling and then we laughed. Sabrina was just wonderful. She always knew how to make me laugh.
So what are we going to do today? After all, tomorrow is Saturday and that means we can sleep in, right?
I thought we'd go to the Mecca, there's supposed to be a really good DJ mixing music there today, I said.
Well then it's a date. Oops, it's so late, I'll have to hurry. Will you pick me up then?
Sure, Sabrina, I'll be at your place at 7:00 p.m.
Bernd
Now I was on my way home. The conversation with Karin had done me good. I now saw the whole thing from a different perspective and what was even more important to me was that I didn't want to be like these parents of the boy Karin was currently treating. Just thinking about it made me feel an irrepressible rage. With these thoughts, I stormed up the stairs to our apartment.
“Kevin's back!”
Kevin's door opened and my son beamed at me.
“Where were you?” he asked.
“I was at Karin's, we still had a lot to talk about.”
“Oh, so that's why you leave the kitchen as if a bomb had hit it. That must have been extremely important?”
Yes, my son did it! And what are you going to do today? As far as I know, today is Friday!?
I'm going to Mecca with Sabrina!?
I thought so! Oh, Kevin?? I approached him: We have found a new home for the four of us!?
Oh, is that something completely new! I thought I wouldn't find out at all. Or only when I was standing in front of an empty, cleared-out apartment?
Sorry, I completely forgot, boy!
That's okay. Sabrina told me.
Sabrina was here? I had to play dumb, otherwise Kevin might have smelled a rat.
Jops, my favorite sister was here! And where are we going to live next?
Not even far from here and it's not an apartment, but a house?
Wow, can we afford something like that?
Sure, son, and it's all in the bag already!
Kevin beamed even more and I couldn't help but go up to him and hug him.
Kevin, I love you so much, no matter what happens!?
Hey Dad, what's up with you?
Nothing, I just wanted to say it. You are the most important thing in the world to me and that includes you being happy.
Dad, if you haven't realized it yet, then here's some help: I love you just as much and I'm happy to have you as my father!
I pressed him even closer to me and a few tears stole into my eyes. Oh God, how I loved him, my son Kevin.
Now hurry up, Sabrina is bound to be waiting for you!
Kevin nodded and disappeared back into his room. I then went to the kitchen to tidy up, but as I discovered, someone else had already been busy there.
“And can I go like this?“ came from behind me.
I turned around to the voice and saw Kevin standing in the kitchen door.
“Wow, who are you, young man?”
Kevin had to laugh and I joined in.
“And...?” Kevin turned around in circles.
“You look great, Kevin.“ ‘Here?’ I had taken my wallet in my hand and took out a fifty and gave it to him.
“Thanks!” With that, he jumped to the wardrobe and took off his jacket.
“See you, Dad, maybe I'll sleep at Sabrina's?”
No problem, Karin wanted to come here anyway. I called after him before the front door slammed shut.
Kevin
I still wonder what was up with my father today. He knows that I love him. Strange, I went to Sabrina's with these thoughts. When I arrived at her place, I rang the doorbell.
“Hi Kevin, tell me, why are you ringing the bell or have you forgotten your key at home?”
Karin looked at me and laughed.
I shook my head: “I've forgotten again that I have one of those things from your apartment!” But tell me Karin, Dad said you found a house for us?”
Yes we do, Kevin, and if your father has forgotten when the moving day is, it's in two weeks time!
Oh yes, great, then I'll see you every day! and with that I jumped at Karin's neck and hugged her.
Karin had to laugh and hugged me back.
Hey, what's going on here!? came from behind us, it was Sabrina.
“Dear, that's called a little family cuddle!“ Karin replied with a laugh.
“Can I join in?” Sabrina snorted.
Without waiting for an answer, she wrapped her arms around both of us.
“So guys, I still have work to do and before you disappear, I wanted to talk to you briefly.” Karin let go of us and went into her study.
I looked questioningly at Sabrina, but she just shrugged her shoulders. So we both followed Karin, with a big question mark on our foreheads.
“What did you want to discuss with us?” Sabrina asked, looking questioningly at her mother.
Sabrina, Kevin, I'm currently treating a boy and he has no one to take care of him. I really like him and wanted to take him in with us. Bernd agrees, but I don't know what you think about him moving into our new home with us!
Sabrina looked at me and I looked at her, and we couldn't help but grin.
Well, as long as he behaves himself and doesn't mess up, we're fine with it! Sabrina spoke for us.
OK, he's coming today and will sleep in the guest room. I would be happy if you could also take him with you to your evening event! Karin looked relieved at us.
And where should I sleep then? I asked.
“I made the couch in the guest room for you! I hope you don't mind sharing the room with Steven tonight?
“No, I don't mind!” As long as he looks cute, I don't care, it crossed my mind. As if Sabrina could read my mind, she jabbed me in the side with her elbow.
Ouch..., eh Karin could ask me what was going on, it rang at the apartment door.
Karin raced past us to the apartment door, from where we heard voices shortly afterwards.
Steven
Now I was standing here in front of Karin's apartment door. I still couldn't believe that she wanted to include me in her family. She had told me that she and her partner Bernd and his son and daughter wanted to move into a house together.
I had my doubts about including a GAY man in her family, but Karin just waved them aside. That's not a problem and believe me, Kevin and Sabrina will be happy to meet you. The words still sounded in my ears.
What did I have to lose? It couldn't get any worse than it was now. With these thoughts in mind, I now stood at their door with my few belongings, with Ms. Stahnke from the youth welfare office standing next to me and looking encouragingly at me.
You'll see, everything will be fine! Karin is the best person for you to be with.
Ms. Stahnke pressed the doorbell and we heard footsteps approaching the door. The door was flung open and Karin stood before me.
There you are! Kevin and Sabrina are already waiting. Karin said to me, then she turned to Ms. Stahnke.
“Well Christel, did everything go all right?”
“Yes, it was not even that hard to convince my boss that it was the best thing for Steven. So here are his things and if you need anything, just call me. I'm in a hurry, I have an important appointment!” With that she said goodbye to us and disappeared.
I was still standing rooted to the spot at the door.
“Well then come in.”
I bent down and took my suitcase and my backpack in my hands and followed Karin into the apartment.
“Sabrina, Kevin this is Steven!”
I could only see Sabrina, but she nodded at me in a friendly way and came towards me.
“Hi Steven, come on I'll show you your room where you'll be sleeping for now,” she took the suitcase out of my hands.
Well then kids, I'll disappear into my study, I still have some work to do. Oh, before I forget, I'll be spending the night with your father Kevin.
Yes, that's fine. Dad has already told me.
Oh yes, there was someone else. I wonder what Kevin looks like.
As if Karin had sensed my question, she revealed the view of Kevin and then I saw him.
Oh shit, that was the Kevin from my new class and he looked at me just as horrified.
“Hi... Steven?“ came quietly from Kevin.
“Hi Kevin, I think I'll go again?” turned around and was already on the way to the door.
“Steven, please stay, I'm really happy that you're going to live with us. Besides, we don't really know each other, and Sabrina and I would like to get to know you.“ Kevin replied. 
“Kevin, I think that if you knew everything about me, you wouldn't say that anymore!” Tears slowly gathered in my eyes.
Why would you say something like that? Come on, give us a chance!
Well, actually Kevin was right, so why shouldn't I give them a chance to get to know me and vice versa? But there was still a BIG problem for me and this problem was called Kevin.
I had already noticed him at school today and I had butterflies in my stomach as soon as I saw him. On the other hand, the way Kevin looked and behaved, he was more than one hundred percent heterosexual and if he found out that I was gay, what would he do to me? Maybe the same as my father?
I turned around again and looked at Kevin, wiping the tears from my face. No, the way Kevin looked at me, he would never react like my father. There was something in Kevin's eyes that held me captive.
“Well come on Steven? I mean, I'm happy? hmm?“, Kevin stammered in my direction. Something told me that Kevin wanted to say a lot more, but didn't dare.
“Why not, so then show me the room!” I said tentatively.
“Kevin, Steven says where are you? We still want to go to the disco! Now come on?”
Kevin grinned in my direction: “You'll have to get used to that, when Sabrina calls, we have to obey. Oh, so you're coming to the disco with us, right?
Well, sure, if you want me to come!
Well, then everything's settled.”
I followed Kevin and then we stood in the room that was to be mine for the time being.
Oh, Steven, Kevin will sleep here tonight in the room on the couch! That doesn't bother you, does it? Sabrina looked at me questioningly.
No, no problem. So what should I wear?
Well, show me what you have!
I opened my suitcase and rummaged around a bit, pulling out a pair of black jeans and a white shirt.
“Will that work?“ I pointed to the clothes.
“Sure, it'll look great with your black hair!” Kevin said, and when I looked at him questioningly, he even blushed. Oh man, that was cute, but on the other hand I didn't know what to think of it. Well, anyway, the main thing was that he liked it.
“So where's the bathroom?”
“What?”
Man Kevin, Steven just asked where the bathroom is!“ came the laughing reply from Sabrina.
“Yes? Um, which bathroom was it again? Oh yes, it's right across from your room!”
Kevin looked hilarious, the redness on his face even surpassing the color of a ripe tomato.
“Thanks, I'll go freshen up!” and I winked at Kevin.
Sabrina
If I understood it right, Kevin had been hit hard, but Steven looked exactly the same. Steven had disappeared into the bathroom and Kevin was still standing in the room as if he had been struck by lightning.
“Hey Kevin, come with me to my room, I don't think you've told me everything yet!”
I went ahead and Kevin followed me to my room. After I closed the door, I looked at Kevin.
“Tell me, what was the matter with you? If I didn't know better, I would say you have a crush on him?”
“Oh, Sabrina, as soon as he entered the classroom today, I had a crush on him. I don't know what to do?”
? Hey, calm down Kevin, the way Steven reacted, it wasn't uncomfortable for him. I would even say he has a crush on you too.
Kevin
I looked at Sabrina, concerned: “Was it really that obvious?
Your skin color on your face spoke volumes. But now come on, Steven is probably already done in the bathroom!
Yes, you're right, I'll go and see Steven. So I left Sabrina's room and made my way to Steven.
When I entered the room, Steven was already standing in the room in full gear.
“Well, shall we go?” His eyes sparkled at me.
He looked good and the clothes looked really cool on him.
“Yes, if you're ready, then we can go!” I wondered what had come over me.
I went back to the room door: ‘Sabrina, we're ready to go. Steven's ready.”
“Great, let's go!’ she replied.
Then we set off. Karin also gave us some money.
Guys, before I forget, I'll be staying at Bernd's, so don't be back too late. You'll be home by midnight at the latest. Oh, and about breakfast, everything's in the fridge, so don't wait up for us tomorrow, help yourselves.
Yes, mom, we will, all right. So let's go, I want to dance,” said Sabrina, and she led the way, followed by me and Steven.
Kevin
It was a great evening, the three of us danced like crazy, and then, I think Sabrina got it. Marcus, one of my classmates, was there and spent the whole evening gazing at Sabrina.
During a slow dance, they were dancing quite close together. MMMhhh... love must be beautiful, I thought, looking sideways at Steven, who had been smiling the whole evening.
“Hey Steven, this is a really great evening, isn't it?”
Steven beamed at me and nodded: “It's really fun with you guys. I was afraid that you were a total macho, but I guess I was wrong.”
“Don't worry, Steven, I'm just a normal guy and like everyone I have my dreams and desires.” As I said this, I looked Steven in the eye for quite a long time.
I would have loved to go to him and take him in my arms. But something held me back, for one thing the fear of what he would say if he realized that I was gay. Yes, I finally accepted that day what I had not wanted to accept until then. But since I had seen Steven, all my resolutions had been thrown overboard anyway.
Guys, we have to be home by noon, we promised.
Sabrina was standing in front of us beaming, and as expected, Marcus was at her side.
The four of us left. Marcus walked next to Sabrina and held her hand. I must have looked pretty sad at these hands, because suddenly a hand slid into mine and held it very tightly.
I looked at Steven from the side, but he was looking straight ahead and beaming. So I looked ahead too and a smile spread across my face. Steven was awesome.
Steven
That was a great evening. Kevin was awesome and the way he moved to the music. An angel was nothing in comparison. But the way he kept looking at me, somehow strange. I couldn't describe it any other way. What was wrong with him all of a sudden, so shy and reserved before and now as if he accepted something, that he was, or what he was.
BUT WHAT WAS HE????
When we went home and I saw the way he looked at Sabrina and then at Marcus and Sabrina's hands, I knew what he was missing. Well, why not, and brave as I was, I pushed my hand into his. Wow, he held on tight and looked at me from the side. I can't tell you how happy I was at that moment.
Yes, if someone should ask me whether I like Kevin, then I would have answered yes.
But to whom should I answer this question? To whom?
We had hardly arrived at Sabrina's house when Marcus said goodbye to Sabrina and us and just said, “You're cool people.”
We then went inside and Sabrina wished us a good night.
Kevin stood in the room with a look that only made me sad!
“Hey Kevin, what's up with you? It was a great evening, wasn't it?
“Yes?” came from him hesitantly, and then he said that he was totally tired.
That meant it was time for bed.
Kevin
The evening at the disco was amazing and then Steven, how he had pressed his hand into mine, on the way home. I couldn't describe what was going on inside me. Then we were standing in our room at some point and I was totally tired.
“Phew, but now off to bed, I'm totally tired.” Steven looked at me and smiled.
“Well then, sleep well.”
We undressed and Steven went to his bed and I crawled onto the couch. Sometime during the night, I woke up from a terrible nightmare. Something screamed terribly and in my dream I saw a huge creature coming towards me.
What kind of screeching is that? It doesn't stop. Only then did I slowly realize that the noises were coming from Steven. You had to have a crazy dream, so I got up and walked over to his bed.
“Steven, wake up, it's just a nightmare.”
I shook him like a broom.
What, where, how? Oh my God, Kevin, is that you?
I think so, since there's no one in the room but me and you. Man, you screamed like a whole bunch of monsters were after you.
Only now did I realize that Steven was shaking all over.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I think so. Would you sleep with me? I'm so scared.
? Mmmhh well, if it helps and I can get a few hours of sleep, go ahead. Slide over.
Steven slid a little to the side and I lay down next to him.
Kevin, I'm sorry, but... Steven started to cry next to me.
Carefully, I slid a little closer to him and took him in my arms.
“Take it easy, I'm here with you. You'll see, everything will be fine again.”
“No, not everything will be fine, but it will be better.” ”Kevin, I'm so glad I can stay with you.”
“So come to sleep now, and tomorrow we'll think about what else we can do.”
“Mmmhh, Kevin, I have you gladly.”
Steven, I love you too!” After that I must have fallen asleep, because the next time I woke up, something was pressing on my chest.
Since it was already light, I could see a dark blond head of hair lying on top of me. Two arms were wrapped around my body, holding me tight. It was a strange feeling to be held by Steven in his arms and as I realized it, someone else liked it even better, because in my lower regions something began to stir.
Oh shit, I had to somehow get out of this bed and away from Steven. If he realizes what he triggers in me, I don't even want to think about it. What am I doing? With these thoughts, Steven stirred and mumbled something.
His arms let go of me briefly, so I could push him carefully to the side and then slip out of bed.
As soon as I was out of bed, I walked as quietly as I could to the door. Just as I was about to open the door, I heard Steven.
“Morning Kevin, where are you going? It's only eight o'clock.”
I need to go for little boys! I looked down at the bulge in my pants.
I have to get out of here, everything in me screamed and I opened the door and ran to the bathroom door. After I had locked myself in the bathroom, I took a deep breath.
Oh man, that was probably the last proof that I'm definitely gay.
Suddenly there was a knock on the bathroom door: “Hello, whoever's in there, I really need to go to the bathroom!”
I recognized Sabrina's voice.
“Just a moment, I'll be ready in a minute.” I looked down at myself again.
Thank God the bump was gone and now I really had to go quickly for little boys. So I hurried and shortly thereafter I opened the bathroom door.
“Good morning, Sabrina, I'll go to the kitchen and prepare breakfast.
Sabrina looked at me with wide eyes: “Tell me, what's the matter with you? Otherwise you sleep until the dolls!
My dear Sabrina, I also have phases in which I get up early on weekends and today is one of those days! Grinning, I walked past her towards the kitchen.
Once there, I first checked to see what we had. I threw the rolls into the oven and then I put on a large pot of coffee.
“Morning?” It came from behind me and I dropped the plate I had just taken out of the cupboard.
Well, that was a plate with those thoughts on it, I turned to the voice: ”Morning Steven, since you're already here, could you please hand me the dustpan and brush?”
“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”
But you did, next time make a bit more noise before you come into a room! Otherwise you might as well call an ambulance first, I had to grin at that and the corners of Steven's mouth twitched too and then we started laughing.
What's going on here? Can I laugh too?
Nah Sabrina, you wouldn't understand the joke anyway!
Have I missed something?
No, Sabrina, and now come on Steven, off to the bathroom. Breakfast is almost ready.
Steven then also disappeared and Sabrina helped me set the kitchen table.
A short time later we were sitting at breakfast and chatting about the previous evening.
Say, Sabrina, when are you meeting up with Marco again?
Well, Kevin, I can answer that for you: today. We want to go to the movies and see the third part of Bourne Identity.
Wow, I wanted to see that too. Can I come with Steven?
If it's okay with you, I think it's fine.
Oh man, we won't bother you, what do you think Steven?
No, definitely not, I wanted to see it too!”, came from Steven.
“Well then, we know what we're doing today!”
Bernd
I was just about to prepare breakfast in the kitchen when Karin came up behind me and put her arms around me.
“Well my sweetheart, I see I'm not needed here. I'll quickly go take a shower and then I'll be a bit more alert. I hope so!”
A little later, we were sitting at breakfast and planning our move.
“And Bernd, have you processed what happened with Kevin?”
I nodded: “As you said so beautifully yesterday, not much is going to change. Except that I won't have any grandchildren and that I'll have a son instead of a daughter-in-law. The only thing I'm worried about is what the kids at school will do to Kevin when they find out he's gay.
My God, Bernd, it's not that far yet, and if it is, we'll both be there for him and I think Steven and Sabrina will stand by him too. Although that won't be hard for Steven.
By the way, now that you mention Steven, when will I meet him?
Today! He already moved in with us yesterday.
You didn't tell me that! Well, I'm looking forward to it!?
Come on Bernd, we have to check on our little rascals. Knowing them, they're probably still in bed!?
After we had cleaned up the kitchen, we went to Karin's apartment. The first one we met was Kevin. What I noticed immediately was that he was laughing and seemed like a different person. Karin and I exchanged a quick glance. Karin had also noticed that Kevin seemed happier.
After the whole bunch had gathered in the living room, I was introduced to Steven. At first he was very reserved towards me. He made a good impression on me and since I knew from Karin what had happened to him, I had expected more of a psychological strain.
That wasn't the case at all. The only thing I noticed was the way Steven looked at Kevin when he thought he wasn't being watched. I didn't want to read too much into it, but it looked like Kevin had a suitor.
Well, great, and I had hoped that I could make friends with the one first, but it looked as if the first suitor-to-be was standing in front of me. Although this Steven didn't look so bad. My God, now I'm already beginning to assess the future suitors to see if they are good enough for my Kevin.
Steven
It was just great after I met Kevin's father and he was really funny. You could tell that he played an important role in Kevin's life and that he loved him more than anything.
I looked at Kevin from the side, he was talking about yesterday and beamed all over his face. I had to think about this morning, a smile flitted across my face. I woke up earlier than Kevin and he was lying on his back next to me, fast asleep.
Well, I took advantage of the situation a bit and laid my head on his chest and wrapped my hands around his upper body. So I fell asleep again. Anyway, I woke up when Kevin tried to get out of bed carefully.
After he had managed to get out of bed, I looked briefly at his shorts and what did I see. Kevin had a huge bulge in the lower region. Well, maybe I have a chance with him after all, because I like him more and more, his brown hair and those brown eyes that shine like a pair of stars when he laughs.
I suddenly felt that someone was looking at me, and when I raised my eyes a little, I saw Kevin's father's eyes. As if he knew something, at least he smiled knowingly at me.
“Well Steven, how did you like the first day?” Bernd also asked.
“It was just great and I think it's really great that you want to give me a chance here?
Kevin, Karin told me about you and what you've been through and I'm happy to welcome you to our little family.” With that, Bernd stood up and came over to me.
I winced a little when he hugged me. He must have noticed it because he whispered to me: 'Steven, you don't need to be afraid, I will stand behind you just like a good friend. Welcome!
Wow, I couldn't say anything and started to cry, but this time because I was happy again for the first time in a long time. Everyone stood up and Kevin said something that day that I will never forget.
The words were, “I love you very much and in the short time we've known each other, you've become more than a brother to me.”
Whatever was behind the sentence, I hoped that I had heard what I hoped to hear, namely that he LOVED me.
Kevin
Two weeks had now passed and today the big move was planned. In the last two weeks I had got to know Steven even better and what was best, he could laugh again and really laugh.
When I stayed overnight at Karin's, it became a ritual that I slept in Steven's bed. This rascal took full advantage of that. Every morning he lay on top of me and I had to see how I could cope with my big problem when waking up.
Well, at least he hadn't noticed anything so far. My father was also kind of weird, whenever he heard or saw something negative about gays and lesbians, he would get excited and rant about this society and its stupid attitudes towards the subject.
Well, on the one hand I thought it was great and slowly I got the courage to tell him about my feelings.
“Kevin, would you come please, the movers are finally here!”
“Yes, Dad, I'm coming.”
Man, it was going to be one of those days, but who was standing there in the hallway?
“Steven, what are you doing here?”
“Well, I'm done packing my few things and Karin thought I could help out a little here?”
Of course you can help. I'm not even finished packing my things.
Well then, off to your room.
Kevin, I thought you were already finished with yours! my father said reproachfully.
Yes, sorry, but you know Kevin and his orderliness!
Dad had to laugh: “Go to your room and finish packing your things.”
“Yes, yes?” With these words, I sped to my room.
“Steven, I'm here, can we start?”
I saw Steven sitting at my desk with a piece of paper in his hand. He didn't react at all and looked hypnotized at the sheet.
“Steven, hi, I'm here!”
Startled, he looked up and met my eyes.
“Kevin, is your chat name when you're on the internet Kev16?”
“Why? Yes it is, why do you want to know?”
“Well, my name in chat is CRASH.”
“DDDD?uuuuu are CRASH?”
He nodded and stood up: “Yes, that's me! How I always wished to be opposite this Kev16 and chat with him in person and now I realize that this Kev16 is YOU.”
Somehow that was a bit too much for me and I sat down on the floor. Ohh, what am I going to do now? I knew one thing for sure, namely why Crash hadn't been in the chat anymore.
“Kevin, are you okay?”
I felt Steven gently take me in his arms.
Steven, Crash, do you actually know how much you mean to me? I waited every day for Crash to show up in the chat and tell me how his outing went. But there was no sign of him, of you!?
Sorry, now you know how it turned out! It was SHIT! Steven said quietly.
“Oh man, now you know everything about me, except for one thing: I have pretty strong feelings for you,” I replied just as quietly.
“Hey, I know that, the bulge in your shorts when you got up in the morning spoke for itself. Besides, haven't you ever wondered why I was always lying so close to you in the morning?”
I looked up, shocked: “You little scoundrel, you've been...?”
“Yes I have, and I enjoyed it when you slept with me at the weekend!?”
Well, you little beast, I turned to Steven and pressed my lips to his. Wow, what a feeling. Suddenly I felt Steven's tongue on my lips and as if I had only been waiting for it, I opened my lips.
I can no longer say for sure how long we sat on the floor exploring each other's mouths with our tongues.
In any case, we were so absorbed in our exploration that we didn't notice my father standing in the room.
“HMMMM... Boys, when you're done with that, could you please continue packing?”
Oh my God!
We jumped apart and I looked at my father in horror.
But he just smiled at me and then said dryly in my direction: “And Kevin, to tell me that you like boys, you didn't have to show me this in action. I would have been happy if you had just told me. But it looks like I'll have a son-in-law from now on!?
With these words, he left my room and I looked after him speechlessly. Yes, my voice had given up the service, at least at that moment.?
Hmm, Kevin, tell me, did your father suspect anything about your affection?
I just shrugged my shoulders, because my speech organ was still on strike.
“Hey, I think you should probably go to your father and talk to him?”
In response, I just nodded and got up slowly.
“Ok, I'll pack up here and you go to your father now?”
So I made my way to my father to finally do what I had been planning to do all along.
Bernd
Well, that was now clear, on what or whom my son was sexually. Well, I was a bit shocked. When had a straight man ever had the pleasure of catching two guys kissing? Fortunately, Karin had given me some literature to help me deal with this topic, and it probably helped me to have NO PROBLEM with it.
So now I was standing in the kitchen and started to put the chairs together for the movers.
“Dad? Do you have a minute for me? I have something to tell you!” It was my somewhat dejected son standing at the kitchen door, staring at the floor.
When I saw him standing there like that, I couldn't help but go up to him and take him in my arms.
“Kevin, you don't have to explain anything to me! I'm happy for you. The only thing that makes me a little sad is that you didn't tell me long ago. We don't have any secrets, do we?
Dad, you can't compare this to things like school grades and stuff, this is about something that not everyone can accept. It took me time to accept myself.?
?Hm, I think my son has grown up with this and no longer needs his father!? I stated dryly and with a little melancholy.
Nonsense, I've needed you all my life. You've always been there for me and I want it to stay that way.
After that, we held each other and said nothing. We each had our own thoughts and I realized that I will always be there for these two goofballs and support them.
Can I interrupt for a moment?
Yes Steven, you may!” came from both of us almost at the same time, and then Kevin and I had to laugh at the bewildered look on Steven's face.
The expression on Steven's face was just too funny.
“Can you please come back to your room and help with the packing? Otherwise we'll never be finished today.”
“Now come on, Kevin!” And then I looked at Steven: ‘So, young man, you'll pay special attention to my son, otherwise there'll be trouble with me!”
“Yes sir, I understand!’ came the reply from Steven.
Then both ran in the direction of Kevin's room.
Steven
Well, the move was already three weeks behind us. After it was clear to everyone that Kevin and I were a couple, we were given a room together with our own bathroom. Sabrina was still with Marco and when he found out that we were together, he thought it was cool and was happy for us.
Karin and Bernd took care of me as if I had always lived with them. My own parents had separated, as I learned from Karin. My mother wanted to get back in touch with me, but I wasn't ready for that.
Not after what they had done to me. I looked at Kevin, who was lying on the bed and seemed to have fallen asleep. I loved this guy more than anything, and oh yes, Crash had turned up in the chat again and told us about his Kevin.
Bernd
Karin and I were sitting on the couch in the living room drinking wine.
“Well Bernd, you look really happy!”
“I am. I have you and that's something I'm happy about. Well, and then there's this gang of rascals that are jumping around on our heads.”
Karin had to laugh, but then she became serious.
“Bernd?
Yes Karin?
I still have something to tell you. She looked at me.
Yes, what do you want to tell me?
So, there are five of us living here now. Could you imagine taking in a sixth member of our family?
“I beg your pardon, not another foster child?” I groaned.
No, it will take about six months before this person will move in with us!
What, I looked at her aghast: But we're already over forty!
So what, but someone finally has a reason to propose to me! she replied snappishly.
Only now did I really realize what Karin was telling me.
I don't even know what to say!
“Well, just ask her already!” came from the living room door in unison.
Sabrina, Kevin and Steven were standing there grinning at us.
“How did you know that Karin is pregnant?”
“Yes, my dear, I had left my pregnancy ID on the kitchen table and as you can imagine, our beloved daughter found it.”
Well then there is only one thing left for me to do! I stood up and knelt down in front of Karin: Will you marry me?
Kevin
Man, that was really a bit cheesy, typical adults. But somehow also sweet. Before I say goodbye to you at this point, I would like to briefly summarize what happened next.
Six months later, a little Matthes was born. And before any of you start saying what a stupid name it is, we, Sabrina, Steven and I decided to use it as a joke.
At school, the rumor spread that Steven and I were a couple. So we had to come out at school, which went quite well, oddly enough. Well, there's always going to be a few idiots, but never mind about them.
Steven and I are happy together and we knew that we would have to overcome a few obstacles in our future life.
But together with our family we are strong enough to overcome these hurdles, because ONLY TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG!
Steven has now spoken to his mother and apologized, but he did not want to move back to her. Well, with a cute girl like me, he can't?
AUAHHHHHHH
Man Steven, do you always have to sneak up on me like that??
So now I'll just write something quickly. I was really lucky with my KEV, but believe me, I'm the cuter of the two of us.
Ouch Kev, you'll get that back! Just you wait!?
So TSCHÜSS and good luck to everyone with your outing??
Steven and Kevin wish you all the best!