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+--- Thread: Mark A - Snow Angel (2008) (/showthread.php?tid=2661)
Mark A - Snow Angel (2008) - WMASG - 12-15-2025
Kurt
I sat in Ryan’s garden staring down at Angel’s letter. A chill breeze blew across my neck, making me shiver. The letter trembled slightly in my hands. I’d been trying ever so hard not to miss Angel, but I yearned for him with all my heart. I had read his letter so often in the past weeks it was beginning to separate at the folds. It had been six months since Angel left, and I felt as if a hundred years had passed. I looked down at the letter and read it once again in the bright autumn sunlight.
Dear Kurt,
I hope you get this letter before you go to school. I had a talk with Noah Taber last night, and I gave him a letter to pass around at school. I know you’re not going to like it, but the only way I could think of to make everything okay for you is to make everyone think I’m the queer. I couldn’t bear seeing you abused any more. I’ve been a coward. I know I should’ve stood by you when all this started, but I just didn’t have the courage. I couldn’t take everyone hating me. It wasn’t all cowardice, though. You see, Adam and the others killed Matt Taber because they found out he was like us. I was afraid they’d come after you, and the only way I could think to save you was to pretend I hated you, too. I even managed to convince Adam that I especially had it in for you and made him promise I’d get to be in on the “fun.” Adam bought it and said it was a chance for me to redeem myself and prove my loyalty.
I was there the night they killed Matt, but as I told {1} you, I didn’t do it. I tried to stop it and nearly got myself killed. I didn’t know what they were going to do to him until they started beating him. That’s when I tried to put an end to it, but they held me back. I fought, but with them holding each of my arms I couldn’t break free. There wasn’t anything I could do. I had to just stand there and watch them kill him. I really think they would’ve killed me, too, if Adam wasn’t so obsessed with baseball. Jesse wanted to kill me. He argued hard for it, but Adam told him ‘no,’ and what Adam says goes. If I wasn’t a kick-ass first baseman, I think they would’ve offed me. It’s kind of weird, isn’t it, that baseball saved my life?
I had to watch it after that. I wanted out of Adam’s little gang, but if they even suspected I might tell about what I’d seen, they would’ve killed me for sure. That’s why I wouldn’t talk to you about the night Matt died. I didn’t want to put you in danger. I would’ve taken the secret to my grave, probably, if it hadn’t been for them coming after you.
I know I should’ve gone straight to the cops after they’d killed Matt, but I was too scared. I just didn’t know what to do, and Adam said he’d make sure he took me down with them if I ever opened my mouth about it.
I sent a letter to the cops before coming here tonight, telling them exactly what happened the night Matt died. I gave them all the names. Hopefully, it will be enough to put Adam and all those assholes behind bars for a long time, but who knows? If not, they’ll kill me for sure, so I have to leave.
I’d take that risk to stay with you, because I love you more than anything, but there’s more to the situation than that. Me being here wouldn’t stop the name-calling and abuse. Even if I admitted to being a homo, too, it still wouldn’t stop it. Maybe it would be easier to take because we were in it together, but it wouldn’t end it. The only way I could think of to end it is to take the blame myself. In the letter I gave to Noah, it says that I’m the queer, not {2} you. It says…well, you’ll read it, so you’ll know.
I told Noah who killed his brother. I told him how I had wanted to stop it, but couldn’t. He actually thanked me for trying to save his little brother. I wish I could’ve. Anyway, it