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Pauls Story - Simon - 12-28-2025
Finally! I actually get a chance to say something, because I'm such a loudmouth. Daniel isn't here. Yay! Well, actually he is, but this is my story, told from my perspective, not his.
"Hey, what the hell is going on here?"
"Mr. B. said I could tell my own version of the story, so don't interfere."
"Your version? Who cares about your version?"
“Many people. Don’t you think they’re curious to know what I think about…” you?”
"Hey, if you ruin my reputation, dude, then you're finished."
"Go and play in the traffic, Daniel. I'm busy."
Anyway, when I first met Daniel, I thought he was completely nuts. He had these... kind of masculine qualities that made me sigh like a lovestruck schoolgirl. Yeah... kind of embarrassing, I know. But I couldn't help it. He just strutted around. The damn place, like a peacock in heat. But what really impressed me about him was his vulnerability, hidden within this self-centered, muscle-bound teenager. He was a pretty sensitive guy. It wasn't a trait he wanted to display. Especially me, because I was madly in love with him—I guess Daniel's way of... hiding his feminine side...
"Hey! What's with all this 'feminine pages' nonsense?"
"We all have a feminine side."
"And where do you know a word like 'vulnerable' from?"
"Vulnerable... it has two l's."
"Whatever. Anyway, I don't like what you write about me. It's rubbish."
"That's a shame. Now don't interfere and stop interrupting me."
"Oh? Look around, Paul. Do you notice anything? Whose room is this? Huh? And whose?" "Compatibility?"
"You've been telling this story for what feels like a thousand damn years, Daniel. Just..." Fuck off and let me do my thing."
"Do you want to give me a blowjob first?"
"Later."
You know what? I think Daniel loves me too. Sure, he doesn't knock on my door. He'd open it and give me a bouquet of roses. He's not that type. There's no romantic in him. He's got bones in his bones. He huffs and puffs. But that's exactly what I love about him. Have you noticed the way he stares at me? Hey, I'm pretty cool about my body. In that department too, you know. Maybe not quite as muscular as him, but I'm not square. There's not an inch of me his tongue hasn't explored a hundred times. And vice versa.
There was a time when Daniel was homophobic. Back then, he was a real jerk. The club at school was having a hard time, and he completely pissed off Freddie. It wasn't the pissing. That pissed me off, it was the way Daniel did everything to humiliate Freddie. In front of his friends. And why? Because the idiot had a huge amount of guilt about his own feelings. I can call him an asshole now because he just left the room. Hey, I can call him whatever I want! Woohoo! Daniel is an asshole, Daniel is an asshole, Daniel is an asshole!
Anyway, Freddie and I took care of Daniel after I gave him a good beating. And that was weird. Daniel's bigger and stronger than me, but I got lucky. The fact that I was pissed at him for what he'd done to Freddie. Anyway. After Freddie and I fucked Daniel's face and pissed all over him, we were even. Did I tell you Kyle wrote about it? Yeah. He was worried that Daniel had become a wimp. Daniel was Kyle's hero and still is. Kind of weird, isn't it? They're each other's heroes. How do you figure that? How can two guys be like that? Each other's hero?
Anyway—and I really need to stop starting every sentence with "anyway"—Daniel got over his homophobia and accepted who he was. So, who was he? Well, quite a lot. Homophobes swing between extremes. You know... one minute they're... One minute they're beating up a gay guy, and the next minute they're imitating him. (From Rudolf Nureyev, and their wrists are taking a lot more of a beating.) But that didn't happen to Daniel. And he didn't want to label himself. So, I guess you could say that Daniel is basically still the same guy he always was, only he's not afraid of himself anymore. And that's exactly what I imagine homophobes to be... guys who are afraid of themselves.
Well—my goodness, here I am again—about heroes. Yes, Daniel is my hero. That's kind of weird, because Clark Kent doesn't pee on Lois. Well, not that I know of. Oh dear. I wonder if Batman pees on Robin? Well, I guess you could say that I... She's totally obsessed with Daniel's dick. Everything that comes out of that depraved thing is... I don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. I've been peed on. By everyone except the Pope. And that's only because I've never been to Rome.
I know urine isn't everyone's cup of tea. Hmm. I should probably phrase that differently. Oh well, screw it. I'm no literary genius, after all. [And screw it,] everything about Daniel is cool. Aside from everything else. He has an absolutely fantastic body. He's constantly twitching, rippling, or bulging. Or something like that. It's a symphony of sexual movements. Even his little finger twists. I'm in. Lindy once described Daniel as "sex on two legs." And that's what he is. The guy is... I just have to walk into the damn room and I already have an erection.
"Do you have one now?"
"I'm not finished yet. And what the hell are you doing back here?"
"I just wanted to ask."
"Go and check the pool or something."
"It's already clean. Hey, I'm going to Dick's later, okay?"
Am I jealous of Dick? Or Freddie, or Jo, or Steve, or Benny, or Kyle, or Greg? Or half a million other guys? Of course I am. Who wouldn't be? Seems like the whole damn world is crazy about Daniel. What am I supposed to do now? Tell Daniel to get lost? Because I can't possess him? Nah. That would be stupid. And guess what? If he suddenly... He covered me like a rash, and I was the center of his universe, he wouldn't love Daniel anymore. So I'd probably fall out of love. Weird, right?
Okay, back to the topic of urine. You know what's crazy? He's totally into it. Just forget it. Think about Dick for a second. Dick is an Adonis. I mean, we're talking about... perfection. A body almost two meters tall, probably one of the most impressive you'll ever see. Blond, smooth, ripped, everything perfectly proportioned. And he's a great guy. So is he. And what do you think Daniel will do when he gets there? Exactly. He'll piss on Dick. He'll wave his killer cock around and totally douse that blond Adonis.
Dick isn't the type to put up with everything. Should I phrase that differently? Meaning, yesterday's pizza isn't something to get too excited about. Oh. Never mind. Anyway, if Daniel pees on Dick, or on me, to be precise, then that's just how it is. Not like Daniel's on some kind of ego trip. What the hell am I even talking about? Of course he's on one. An ego trip. He's always on a fucking ego trip. But it's not like he's trying to do it on purpose. To humiliate Dick or me? No way. And it's not like Dick or I want to be humiliated. I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I guess it's like any kind of sex... You know... you have a choice... you can either do things because they're important to you, or you can do things because you have something to prove... you know? Like a rapist wants to dominate his victim and enjoys being the ultimate ruler. Damn asshole. Daniel isn't like that. Not at all. He knows his urine is god urine. But he wouldn't pee on anyone if they didn't want him to. He figured that out. When Kyle told him to go to hell. I still crack up when I think about it.
Why am I so hopelessly in love with Daniel? Hey, let me list the reasons. He's fucking... outrageous, that's why. Jerking off in a crosswalk. Hello? Remember when Kyle, Steve, Daniel, and I were all there in the middle of the night, making fools of ourselves and sucking? It's all Daniel's fault! The guy doesn't give a fuck. Shame on him.
But that's not the only reason I love Daniel. Sure, it's exciting being with him. He's always doing really cool things, but he also has a softer, more tender side. When he smiles, it's like being an ice cream cone in the sun. His beautiful, brown eyes are mesmerizing. You can't resist him. He has you under his spell.
On the other hand, I have the same effect on him. I've long since lost count of how many times I've done that. How many times has he completely melted because of my smile? But that's okay. It means we're equals. Well, sort of. I mean, if we were completely equal, that would be boring. You know what I mean? One of us has to have something the other wants. He admires something the other doesn't have. So it's like we're not equals. But we have equal respect for each other. Does that make sense?
What's my favorite part of his body? Everything. I mean, you can like so many things. Oranges on a table, and what do you get? A pile of useless oranges. But then some guy comes along and starts juggling them, and—whoosh—you've got art. The oranges swirl around like they're magic. So I guess I have to say that Daniel is the juggler. He has a special way of presenting his oranges, just like his fantastic body, which transforms him into a kind of magic.
"What the hell is this?"
"What are you doing back here?"
"Dick had to get his pizza."
"You pissed him off?"
"Yes... just briefly. So, what kind of rubbish are you writing?"
"Who says it's rubbish?"
"Juggling oranges?"
"That's a fucking metaphor, asshole. And stop looking over my shoulder. Like..." Damn it, am I supposed to be creative when you're standing there like the Leaning Tower? "From fucking Pisa?"
"Hmm... great body. Do you really think so?"
"Man, Daniel!"
"Okay, okay... I'm going swimming. By the way, Dick didn't give me a blowjob. He didn't have time."
Yeah, and that's another thing. Daniel has this way of looking at you, like he can read your mind... and that grin that says he knows you love him. It pisses me off. Sometimes. It's like I can't keep a damn secret. Daniel, sitting in some tent, painted with a bunch of crescent moons, staring into his crystal ball like he knows when my next fart is coming.
You know what's weird? I figured out why Daniel annoys me so much. He totally enjoys it! It's like his power dynamic. And what annoys me even more is that he knows I'm not just going to leave because I'm upset. Him. Well, I might leave for a bit, but he knows I'll be back. He knows I would never leave him. He knows I'm addicted. He knows I love him. But he likes to play games. He loves to tease. He was born to tease.
But that's okay. He keeps me on my toes. Or, as Kyle would say: I'm never... hundreds. And that kind of adds to the excitement. Daniel never stops. A real challenge. He always surprises me. Would I change him? No.
Do you want to know what my father once told me? He said that a woman falls in love with someone. She loves a man because of who he is. Then she marries him and spends the rest of her life with him. She tries to change him. He says it's a kind of test. She wants... she was repeatedly assured that he remained the unshakeable pillar of her strength. I fell in love with her in the first place. Women are strange.
So am I testing Daniel? I think so, sometimes. You know, it's a bit like counting. You keep spending your money, just to make sure it's still there. You kind of become... paranoid that something's going to go wrong.
"Hey!"
"You're dripping everywhere."
"This is my room, man. Well, are you going to give me a blowjob now?"
"I don't feel like it."
"Hello? Since when have you been in a bad mood?"
"Since now."
"What the hell did you write?"
"I analyze things."
"About what?"
"You and I."
"Hey, Paul. What's all this nonsense about? You've never been able to resist my charm." Dick."