"You look just like Pop," I smiled as B and I shook hands with Sydney. Arrivals hall of the international airport. "Are you really twins? I can't tell." You're separating from me... only you're not wearing a towel. Are you sure you're not Dad? I don't get it. My father was at the airport in Miami to see me off. How the hell did that work out? "You're here before me?"
"G'day, buddy," smiled the old man, whereupon his face dissolved into a million wrinkles. "Welcome to Oz."
"You're just kidding me, aren't you?"
"Let's get your luggage."
"I'm traveling light... just hand luggage. Dad said you'd take care of it." Everything else. Hey, are you sure you're not Pop?
"My name is B. A limousine is waiting for us outside. Let's go."
Yes, of course. Limousine? "This is a limousine?" I asked as we boarded the bus.
"It's a Mercedes, and it has a driver. What the hell more do you want?"
"How come there are so many other people on board?"
"It's in my nature to share things."
As B and I sat down, he began to explain that he and Pop had known each other for a long time. They'd known each other for a long time, but they weren't related. "Just one of those oddballs." It's probably just the way he is. He's American like you, and I'm Australian. I've never been to America.
"Holy shit!" I shouted, looking out the window. "Why are we driving on the...?" "Wrong side of the road?"
"That's a magnetic thing from the South Pole. This is the Southern Hemisphere, Daniel. We..." Down here, everything is done backwards... well, almost everything."
"Is that the reason why you talk so strangely?"
"Yes."
From the city, we took the train to Petersham, where B lived. It was pretty cool. The train... big, tinted panoramic windows, air conditioning, quiet, cozy... everything. It all reminded me so much of the old days. Back home in the States... the buildings, the people, the cars. But not the Australian accent. It was sooooo strange!
"If weird contains an 'r', why don't you pronounce it?"
"Damn difficult."
"Huh?"
We had barely arrived at B's apartment when I was attacked by a praying man nearly two meters tall. Praying mantis. "Good afternoon, Daniel," he grinned, extending his long, thin arm as he shook my hand. "I'm Lindsay. B. told me all about you. Nice to meet you." Buddy. And this is my wife, Sue.
Damn it! Was that for real? I saw two people who had stepped straight out of the movie "The..." The Addams Family. He had hair that reached the middle of his back, and so did she. No. Man, that's got to be a joke! Lindsay only had one stimulant. Her tooth and Sue's hands were kind of weird... slightly twisted.
Still in shock, I followed B into his room, where I threw my hand luggage onto his lap. Bed. "You can sleep in my bed, Daniel. I'm sleeping on the couch."
"Was?"
"Sofa, sofa, couch... whatever you men call it."
"Men? And what's up with Sue and Lindsay? Are they going to some kind of Halloween party?" "What's that?" Then I noticed all the stacks of cardboard boxes. Everywhere. "Did you just move in, huh?"
"Get out. Didn't Dad tell you? We're moving to Taree."
"Taree?"
"About 300 kilometers along the coast... roughly 200 miles, to put it that way. I'm afraid..." It's probably going to be pretty chaotic here for the next few days. By the way, how long are you staying?
"Man, I don't know either. I thought... I mean... this was supposed to be my holiday in Sydney. And now you're talking about going to... what was it called again?"
"Typical Pop, screwing up the whole damn thing. I don't even know if his damn ass..." It was on fire. Sorry, Daniel, but I don't have time to show you Sydney. "There's way too much to pack and organize."
Later that afternoon, a huge old woman with breasts the size of award-winning breasts appeared. Watermelons and bare feet squeezed through the open front door and wandered around. Down the hall. "Are you there, B? I need some things downstairs... Oh! Who's that?" That?"
“I’m Daniel,” I smiled and offered him my hand. “I’m from Tampa, Florida, and I’m…” visiting B.”
"You have an American accent like the people in TV series. Are you American?"
"Yes, ma'am. Florida is a US state."
The woman plopped down on the couch with her enormous backside and continued, "Why on earth..." Would you want to visit such a silly old geezer like B.? Besides, you're much too young. Did you know B. is gay?
"Damn it, Nancy!" B thundered as he taped another cardboard box shut. "We're busy. And what the hell does being gay have to do with it?"
"I saw some of those disgusting pictures on that damn computer thing." You're a pervert and shouldn't be preying on young boys like you, Daniel.
"That's alright, ma'am," I explained, "I'll sleep in B's bed."
Nancy's mouth dropped open a few centimeters, and her brown eyes widened in utter horror. "I'm seriously considering calling the police!"
"There's not enough room in my bed for the damn cops," B muttered as he filled another box. "And Daniel forgot to add that I'll be sleeping on the lounge. But not while you're sitting on it with your fat ass. Ask Lindsay to brush you off. "We'll do the shopping for you."
It was early evening when I came into the kitchen where B was preparing dinner. Lindsay was sitting in the living room watching TV, and Sue was in the bathroom.
"Sue has been in the bathroom for hours! Is she okay? And what are you doing there?" Cooking?"
"Sue keeps hogging the bathroom. I'm cooking beef curry right now. Would you like some?" Curry?"
"Not too hot! Can I help you?"
“Yes. Count the rice. There are four of us, so I need exactly 1372 grains.”
"What's the deal with Sue and Lindsay? They look kind of strange. Why?" Do you live with them?"
"I am her caretaker."
"But you're not her type. How many grains did you say?"
"1372. That's a long story, Daniel, but they saved my ass about five years ago."
"Ass?"
"Asshole. I was broke and had nowhere to live. They offered me a place to live with them." Me. It was arranged by her caregiver at the time. I took over her care. About a year ago. Now everything is different... I earn a little something and can afford things.
"Bob?"
"Dollars."
"What's wrong with them? Sue looks kind of spastic."
"She has osteoporosis—a bone disease. She's a foot shorter than she used to be." She's had hip surgery. And Lindsay? He's an alcoholic. They're both sick. They're alcoholics. They also both suffer from epilepsy. They have to take medication constantly.
"So they saved your ass and you're saving theirs. Is that all?"
B put a handful of chopped onions, celery, and garlic into a pan and began to fry. He sautéed them in butter and olive oil, stirring with a wooden spoon. Then he added a heaping tablespoon of curry powder. “I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing this,” Daniel said. “I just know that if I weren’t institutionalized, Sue and Lindsay would be, and I don’t think I could bear the thought of it. Every human being deserves a life of dignity.”
“But what about your life?”
"That I still have one is partly thanks to them, but also to other people." Like Kyle. And you too, of course."
"Me?"
"Secure."
When the vegetables were ready, B added a lot of diced steak to the pan, plus some chopped tomatoes, pineapple chunks, sultanas, shredded coconut, chutney, sliced banana, and diced apple. Wow! The aroma was simply magical! But I was so excited that I completely forgot how many grains of rice I had counted.
"B? I think I messed up. I had about three hundred and a few cents of rice." Grain and..."
"Don't get so worked up, Daniel," chuckled the old man. "When the water boils, add four handfuls of rice, plus another one to be safe."
"But how am I supposed to know how many grains there are?"
"Trying is better than studying, Daniel," he grinned and winked. "If..." "It tastes quite good, you'll know whether you did the right thing or not."
"But what if I mess it up?" Well, I needn't have worried. The curry was simply too delicious. Absolutely amazing!
At dinner, I got to know Sue and Lindsay a little better. Sue showed me photos—pictures of her in England, where she had a great passion for horses and rode in shows. But by then, her body was marked by osteoporosis, and she walked with a noticeable limp. Her fingers had also suffered from the bone disease, and she had difficulty using a knife and fork.
Lindsay was a pretty cheerful guy, with what was probably the silliest single tooth in the world. He grinned. He told me about the time Sue traveled to England to visit her parents. “I lost contact with her and thought I’d never see her again. That was when I was about 13 or 14. Years ago. I completely lost it and just walked out of the house we were in. I was renting. For six months, I lived in a city park, drinking mixed liquors with shoe polish. I scavenged for food scraps in trash cans. I remember swatting flies off half-eaten sandwiches or hamburgers. I would sleep in the rain. I just didn’t care. When I was finally rescued by the Salvation Army, I was even thinner than I am now. I was close to death. I hadn’t washed in a minute. Six months. I was still wearing the same clothes I’d left the house in. My beard was short. I had a belly, and my hair reached my waist. But the Sallies turned me around. And I became a counselor for alcoholics and drug addicts. Don’t hesitate! “If you work for the Sallies,” He laughed. "Sue was back by then." Australia. She'd been looking for me for months... calling various places and organizations. One day, she happened to call the Salvation Army organizations, and there I was. So we got back together and lived in the guesthouse next to our house. Met B."
"You brushed flies off half-eaten hamburgers you found in garbage cans?"
"If you're constantly completely drunk, Daniel, then you don't care." Damn it. Besides, I didn't want to live without Sue.
"Everything's fine now, right?"
"Better than cool," he grinned, showing off his only tooth. "B's is unbeatable." Curry. He cooks fantastically. And we're going to Taree! Yay! I can't wait!
Sue clearly didn't share her husband's enthusiasm. She just chewed her food and stared blankly at the television screen, probably not taking in anything she was seeing.
"Sue? Are you looking forward to seeing Taree?"
"Huh? Oh... I don't know. We've settled in here, and... I hate moving. We're..." "Always on the move."
“That’s why we’re going to Taree,” B. interrupted. “We can afford a house there.” There. This is our penultimate move. In a year, we’ll be living in our own house. Home. Never moving again!
"Well, it sounds nice, but..."
Sleeping in B's room—or at least trying to—was kind of weird. The atmosphere was cool, sure, but… It seemed crazy that it was half office, half bedroom. In one corner were his computer and TV, and an ergonomic chair with knee pads. So that's where all his stories came from? It didn't make sense. I'd expected something a bit more glamorous… something more sophisticated or something. That was normal for teenagers. Doing homework and studying in their rooms, but adults? Hmm, maybe B. wasn't an adult, at least not mentally.
