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My dad died when I was two, and I was raised as an only child. Mom was strict but loving. By the time I was eleven, I acted more like a girl than a boy. I didn't know it then, had no idea, but when I see myself in old home movies from when I was a kid, I was one big sissy. Almost my every movement and gesture screamed 'GIRLY-BOY!'
I had golden-blond, curly hair and blue eyes. I was small-statured and slight of build - I inherited that from my dad as well as my mom. I was small for my age and skinny. I was taking piano lessons, and was pretty good. And I was smart. And painfully shy. I had no friends. Some guys talked to me in school, other dorks and music geeks, but that was all, and only at school.
I spent my free time playing in my yard, mostly running around and pretending I was playing war or cowboys and Indians with lots of friends. Alone. I'd hide behind the big trees in my yard, or the garage, and shoot around the corner at imagined foes. Sometimes I kicked the ball against the garage for hours. When the weather was bad, I'd read inside on my bed. Mostly fiction about spacemen and monsters.
Playing in my front yard was risky, but the several trees were fun to run from, one to the other, pretending to duck and dodge incoming fire from the space aliens or the bad guys. More than once, Billy and Terry walked by, or rode their bikes past and saw me. They were both older than me and lived on the same block. They were best friends with each other, and they both loved to pick on me. Seeing those old home movies, I can see why. They liked to call me a girly-boy. Gays weren't as well-known back then
At eleven, I had no sexual references. I knew boys and girls were different, and when we got old enough we could make babies, and that boys and girls could fall in love, and such things. But I wasn't interested in any of that. It was all below my radar.
So, one summer day, when I was eleven and in sixth grade, and while mom was at work, I was playing in the front yard, ducking ray-gun fire, running tree to tree. It was hot on Venus, and fighting the evil Venusians was hard work, so I took a break and sat on the steps of the temple I was defending and leaned back to rest.
Someone kicked my foot. I sat up. It was Billy and Terry. I pulled my feet up and began worrying, and getting scared. They were both at least two or three years older than me, and in junior high.
"Hi, girly-boy," Billy said, and kicked my foot again, but harder.
"He'd make such a good girl. Pretty hair and pretty eyes," Terry said.
They smiled, but I didn't like their smiles at all.
"Ever see how much of a girl's butt he's got?" Billy asked Terry.
"Yeah. I bet he don't even have a peter."
"Do too," I said.
I regretted it instantly. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut, and if I said anything, it should have been to call for my mom as if she were home.
"Yeah, right. Bet you pee sitting down, don't ya, girly-boy?"
"No."
"Sure ya do. Probably gonna get tits this year," Terry said, making them both laugh.
"Go away."
I curled up tighter, wrapping my arms around my knees.
"No. Why don't you show us your girl's butt?" Billy said, kicking my foot again.
"No."
"Awww, come on, girly Wally. Show us your girly butt, and maybe we'll leave you alone."
"I don't have a girly butt."
I did, actually. The only part of me that wasn't skinny was my ass. In those old home movies, it was clearly very full and rounded. Sometimes mom couldn't afford new jeans for a while, and as they got tighter, my butt showed off more and more. There's one home movie taken in the back yard later that summer, with my two cousins who were visiting with their folks. Big, round, full ass in tight, worn jeans, and even at eleven, I had a package out front.
"Sure ya do. Big ol' girl's butt. Better than Alicia's, even," Billy said, kicking my foot again. "Come on, show us, and we'll leave you alone. Promise."
I knew you don't trust a bully when he says 'Trust me.'
"No. Leave me alone."
"Just stand up and turn around once. Then we'll leave you alone."
"No you won't."
"Do it, or we'll pound you," Billy said, then kicked my foot hard enough that it hurt.
"Just stand up and turn around and face the house. Then we'll go," Terry said.
I knew they would kick me in my ass. Or push me down and pound on me. Something. But I hoped that would be all. It would be better than them beating me up face-to-face.
So, I stood up, then turned away from them.
"That's a girl's butt," Billy said.
"No kiddin'. Look at that," Terry said.
I waited for the kick, or the punch to my back. It didn't come. But a hand came around and over my mouth, and another around my chest. And then Terry came around in front of me and picked up my feet. Then they carried me behind the house.
"Over there, between the garage and the fence," Billy said.
They carried me that way. I was skinny and small, and they were big, even for their ages, and they easily carried me to the dark, narrow space between the garage and the high wooden fence.
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