Beep... Beep... Beep
I jumped up and had to collect myself to realize where I was. “Ouch, my head!” was the first thing I thought of. The last beer yesterday evening, at the birthday party, must have been bad. But I hadn't even drunk that much.
Beep... Beep... Beep
Oh this alarm clock, one of these days I'll throw it against the wall. I switched it off. Today was the last day before the summer vacation started. That also meant that there would be certificates. *yuck*
But mine wasn't that bad this year, we had already been told some grades in advance. In German I had a 2, in math also and in English a 3. So the transfer to the tenth grade was secured.
But now out of bed and into the bathroom before mom gets up and the bathroom is occupied again. Which actually happened very rarely.
At this point, I should perhaps introduce myself: My name is Marc and I'm 15 years old, but will be turning 16 in a few days. Unfortunately, I'm always unlucky enough to have a birthday during the summer vacation. null
I am 1.85 cm tall and have a sturdy build. I live with my mother in a three-room apartment in the Sauerland region. My father left when I was three years old, and I have been living with my mother and also with my grandparents ever since. My grandfather died five years ago and my grandmother three years ago.
For the last two years, my mother has been with a man called Horst. I got on reasonably well with him. He also had a daughter about my age, who I got on very well with.
I didn't have much contact with my father because he kept moving house. For the last year, he's been living on the same street as us again and I've got on quite well with him.
Oh yes, and one more thing: I'm gay.
I've known this for a long time. I've always been more interested in boys than girls. I also had my first experience with a boy at an early age, with whom I grew up.
But nothing had happened for a year because he had a girlfriend by then. But it was always clear to me that nothing would ever come of us.
I was never really in love with him, it just was what it was. But I digress. ;o)
Nobody knew that I was gay. I was just too afraid of the reactions. There were a lesbian couple living in our building, and nobody had a problem with them, but I still didn't dare to come out.
Two years ago, I was really smitten: I was truly in love for the first time. A new family had moved into the house next door with three boys. Two were older, the youngest was my age.
When I saw him at the window for the first time, I was already smitten. We became friends quite quickly and I was just happy.
But that didn't last long when he introduced me to his first girlfriend. I was so jealous back then. I really tried hard to get them apart just to have him to myself. Yes, yes, you can be quite nasty at that age. ;o)
But at some point I realized that it was pointless, and we are still very good friends now.
Ah, the shower felt good. So, now get dressed and wake up mom, if she wasn't up already.
Which of course she wasn't, as I then realized.
Hm, what should I wear today, I thought to myself as I stood in front of the wardrobe. But the clothes were quickly found and now it was time to get into the kitchen and make coffee. It was already half past six.
I opened the bedroom door carefully and saw that she was still sleeping peacefully. First of all, I raised the blinds and then woke her up, otherwise I wouldn't get her out of bed.
No sooner said than done, and as I raised the blinds I heard her voice: “Good morning, son, did you sleep well?”
“Morning, Mom, yes, thank you, you too? Come on, get up, coffee's already on.”
“Five more minutes, then I'll come.”
“Okay, if you don't, then it's the water glass!”
“Out!”
And just like that, she was gone again. I set the breakfast table and after five minutes my mom finally came.
“I'll go to the bathroom quickly and then I'll come.”
“OK, see you in a minute.”
I knew her “quick” – it was now five to seven when she finally came out of the bathroom.
“So, are you excited about the report card today?“ she asked me.
“Not really, since I already know most of the grades,” I replied.
“How long do you have school today?”
“I think until 11 o'clock, said Mrs. Schürmann, I mean.”
Mrs. Schürmann had been my class teacher since the fifth grade and now in the tenth year I would no longer have her.
“Are you coming to the store or will I see you tonight?” my mother wanted to know. She is self-employed and has had her own hairdressing business for years.
“I guess I'll stop by the shop, I have to pick up my reward money, and I also want to go to the cemetery. And I could use a haircut again,” I replied.
Since my grandmother passed away, I always went to the cemetery on such occasions. I had a very close relationship with my grandmother and I missed her terribly.
“If you're going to the cemetery, you might as well pull some weeds. So... you want money again.”
“Yep, I do, and the weeding's fine.”
“Now get a move on, otherwise the bus will be gone and I don't want to have to drive you back to school.”
“Yes, yes, old man is not a fast train, I'm already gone,” I said and off I went. Outside, as every morning, I met Daniela, who lived in the neighboring house and also went to my school. She was a year younger than me.
“Morning Danni, how's it going? Are you looking forward to the holidays?”
“Morning Marc, yes, all good, and yourself? Where were you last night? We missed you. Of course I'm looking forward to it. Silly question, can only come from you.”
“Yep, everything's fine. Yesterday was Horst's birthday, though, as I mentioned. You know me, I always ask such questions,” I said, winking at her.
“Oh yes, that's right, we had totally forgotten. Are we meeting this afternoon?”
“I'm going to the shop after school and then to the cemetery, but I think I'll show up around 3 p.m. Schoolyard as always or at the BHW?”
“You've probably had your hair cut again, haven't you? In the schoolyard – Sven, Timo, Bodo, Michael and Manuela were also going to come.”
We talked a bit more and then the bus arrived. We either always met in the schoolyard of the primary school, which was directly opposite our house, or we went to the BHW, which is a workshop for the disabled very close by.
At school, it was as usual on the last day, everyone was in a good mood, even the teachers. We had already organized a farewell gift for Mrs. Schürmann: a large bouquet of flowers and a card on which we had all signed a poem we had written ourselves.
She was very happy. Then finally the school reports were handed out and I was really satisfied.
Now there were no school for the next six weeks.
So I made my way home. For that I just had to go down the street. In the morning I always took the bus up because I didn't feel like walking up the whole mountain. After all, it was almost two kilometers to school. But I always walked downhill.
When I arrived at the last part, I saw a truck standing at the neighboring house from afar.
Oh, I thought to myself, finally someone is moving into the ground floor apartment. Since I am curious by nature, I walked a little faster to see who the new neighbors were.
On the short walk, my imagination ran wild again: that a cute boy would move in there, who would then fall in love with me. Yes, dreaming is a beautiful thing.
I approached and saw two women, one about the same age as my mother, and the other I estimated to be around 20 years old. I thought to myself, that's not going to work out with a cute boy.
I was already within earshot when the older woman suddenly shouted: “Markus, hurry up and don't dawdle around so much, there are still lots of boxes to be carried in.”
Markus, I thought, either her husband or her boyfriend or my sweet dream boy.
And sure enough, a boy came out of the house. I guessed him to be 14 or 15 years old. He was wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans, had medium-length brown hair and was simply stunning.
I only had eyes for him. And then it happened as it had to happen: I ran over his mother.
“Excuse me, I was lost in thought. I'm really sorry.”
“It's okay, it can happen to anyone,” she replied.
Her son couldn't help but laugh.
Suddenly I had an idea how I could find out a little more about this cute boy.
“Can I help you with something, since I'm already so scatterbrained and running around you? My name is Marc and I live next door.“ I pointed to our house.
“Oh, that would be great. Nice to meet you, Marc, my name is Birgit Steinbach and these are my daughter Melanie and my son Markus,” she introduced her children to me.
“Steinbach, you're not related to Regina, are you? She has two sons, Timo and Dominik. She also lives up the street. Dominik is in my class.”
“Yes, I am related to her, she's my sister-in-law. I didn't know she lived here either. I haven't seen my nephews in ages,” she said happily.
What a coincidence, I thought to myself.
“That's really a coincidence. Well, let's get started,” I said, and off we went.
After half an hour, the last boxes were stowed in the apartment. During that time, I had only exchanged a few words with Markus.
“Thank you for your help Marc, come over for dinner sometime. As a small token of my appreciation,” Birgit said, patting me on the shoulder.
“Thanks for the invitation, I'll be sure to take you up on it. But now I have to go. I still have to go to my mother's business, which is another 15-minute bike ride away. She's probably wondering where I am.”
We said goodbye and as I was leaving the apartment, Markus came up behind me.
“Marc, please wait a minute,“ he said.
I turned around and smiled at him.
“Yes, what is it?” I replied.
“How long are you going to be at your mother's? Don't you want to meet up this afternoon and do something together?” Markus wanted to know.
I looked at the clock and thought about it.
“Now it's just after noon and I think I'll be back here around 3 p.m. We can meet there at 3:30.” I pointed to the other side of the street, where there was a small island cordoned off by chains that led to the library.
“Ok, see you later,” he said, and I replied, ”Ok, see you later.”
He turned around and went back inside. I then also made my way. Quickly up to the apartment, put my things away and then get the bike and off to my mom's.
I couldn't stop thinking about Markus during the whole drive. He was really good-looking and my imagination ran wild again. I brought myself back to reality by thinking that someone like that is gay. I couldn't help thinking about the story with Michael and decided not to fall in love head over heels again so quickly.
At my mother's shop, everything went quite quickly: I got 25 euros for the certificate and then made my way to the cemetery. There I talked to grandma for a while and, as promised, pulled the weeds. There weren't many, but I had dawdled so much that it was already close to 3:00 p.m.
But now I had to get going and head home. I still had to change and I wanted to quickly take a shower.
When I came up the street, I saw someone sitting on the chains. I looked at the clock, but it was only ten past three. So I was definitely not late. I really hate being unpunctual. I'm always early when I'm meeting someone.
As I got closer, I recognized Markus. He waved at me and I waved back.
He came over to me across the street as I stopped in front of the building and locked my bike.
“Hi, you're already here,“ he greeted me.
“Hi Markus, yep, I just want to quickly take a shower and change. Do you want to come up or wait for me down here?” I asked him.
“Oh, if you don't mind, I'll come up with you.”
“Well, let's go,” I said.
I unlocked the front door and we went up the two flights of stairs. Just as I unlocked the apartment door, the phone rang.
“Marc Hochmann?” I answered. It was my mother.
“Hi Marc, it's me. Could you do me a favor and vacuum once? I forgot to tell you earlier.”
“Okay, Mom, I'll do it. Anything else?” I asked.
“No, that's it. Will you be home tonight when I come home?”
“I don't think so. Why? Are you going out?”
“Yes, I'm meeting Horst. I guess I won't see you until tomorrow morning. Be nice and take care. Love you.”
“I'm always sweet and I'll do that. I love you too. See you later!” I said and hung up.
Markus was still standing in the hallway at the apartment door.
“That was my mother, I still have to vacuum. Why don't you come to my room and make yourself comfortable. You can turn on the TV, I'll just swing the vacuum and then go take a shower.”
“Ok,“ he replied and followed me into my room.
After 20 minutes I was finished vacuuming and showering and came into my room. Markus was watching VIVA.
“So, I'm ready, shall we?” I asked him.
“Yeah, we can. That reminds me, what do we want to do?” he wanted to know.
“That's a good question. We can also stay here and watch TV or a movie and talk,” I suggested.
He agreed and we decided to leave VIVA on and told each other a lot.
We got along quite well right away because we had a lot of common interests. He liked to play volleyball and ride his bike, just like me. Markus was 15, like me, but I was about to turn 16.
We didn't even notice how time passed, and suddenly I heard the front door.
I looked at the clock in shock. It was already half past six.
“Hi Mom,“ I called.
“Hi, you're home after all. I thought you wanted to leave?” my mother called and opened the door to my room.
“Yes, we wanted to, but somehow we forgot the time chatting. May I introduce Markus, he has moved in next door with his mother and sister. He is the nephew of Regina Steinbach.”
“Hi Markus, I'm Christel. So, from Regina? So the cousin of Timo and Dominik. That reminds me, he called earlier at the shop and asked if you were still there.”
“Who, Timo or Dominik?”
“Timo, he said you wanted to meet.”
“Oh crap, I had completely forgotten. Well, tomorrow is another day.”
“You're something else. I'll change now and then go to Horst. Have a nice evening!” my mother warbled and walked out of the room.
“Is it my fault you stood Timo up?“ Markus suddenly asked, looking very sad.
“No, don't worry, it's not often that happens to me and I wasn't really supposed to meet him. Do you want to stay here or look for the others? Or do you have to go home?” I wanted to know.
“Nah, I don't have to go home, my mom knows where I am. We can stay here, it's really nice with you,” Markus replied, and I noticed a slight glint in his eyes.
Was I imagining it now, or was it reality? Should I perhaps still have hope of finding a real friend?
We watched TV and talked until late in the evening. At around 10:30 p.m., Markus set off for home.
When we said goodbye, he said that he was really happy to have met me and hoped that we would become really good friends. “I hope so too,” I replied, and then he left. He seemed a bit sad; I think he would have rather stayed.
When I was in bed later, I let the day pass in review again – and suddenly I felt butterflies in my stomach. I had probably fallen in love again, but I decided to take it slowly for now.
Unfortunately, that didn't work out. I met with Markus almost every day for the next two weeks and also went to his place for dinner quite often.
What I didn't know was that my other friends were pretty annoyed that I hardly had any time for them anymore. It was only much later that I realized that they were only friends with me because my mom was so easy-going and we could all be in my apartment until late at night, and there was always something to eat from time to time.
Markus and I got along better and better – and twice I almost told him how I felt about him. But I always chickened out in the end.
On a Monday evening, almost three weeks after we had become friends, he told me that he wouldn't have time tomorrow because he wanted to visit his father. He wouldn't be back until the evening and would then get in touch. I told him that I would be at home from 8 p.m.
On Tuesday, I had a really nice lie-in and was sitting in the kitchen having coffee when the doorbell rang.
Oops, who could that be at this time of day, I thought to myself. So I trudged to the door and opened it. Then I heard two people coming up the stairs. It was Micha and Manu.
“Good morning you two, so what's new?” I greeted them.
“Morning Marc, you got time?”
“Sure, come in, you want some coffee?”
“Yes, please,” Micha replied.
“Sit down.”
I took two cups out of the cupboard and poured coffee for both of them.
I could tell that they both had something on their minds, so I asked them what was going on.
“You both look like you've seen a ghost, what's happened?”
“We actually wanted to ask you that,“ Manu replied.
“Huh, what are you talking about?” I said.
“For almost three weeks now, we've hardly seen you. Have we done something to you?” Manu asked anxiously.
“What makes you think that? Nonsense, you haven't done anything to me. I hadn't really noticed that we hadn't seen much of each other. But now that you mention it, you're right. I guess I have really neglected you since I met Markus.”
“You can say that again,” said Micha, giving me a nasty look.
“Hey, don't make such a face, as if it wasn't convenient for you, who was always complaining that you hardly had time for each other?“ I replied, realizing that I was getting a little angry.
“Yeah, but I thought we were friends,” Micha said.
“We are friends, aren't we! Ok, I promise to do better. Peace?”
Both nodded.
“Okay, what do we three beauties want to do today?“ I wanted to know.
“What, don't you have a date with Markus?” Micha snapped.
“Tell me, could it be that you're jealous?” I blurted out.
“Are you crazy? I'm not gay!”
But I am. Of course I didn't say that out loud, but I thought it.
“Are you sure?“ I winked at him.
“Oh man, men!” Manu laughed.
And suddenly all three of us had to laugh.
“Micha, you are and will remain my best friend. Even if I don't have so much time, there's no reason to be jealous. Come here, kid!”
Micha and I embraced and that was the end of it.
We finished our coffee and then went to the schoolyard, where Timo and Danni were sitting and suddenly looked very strange.
“Hi,“ I greeted them.
“Hi,” they greeted back.
Danni couldn't resist the following saying: “Well, who do we have here? A new face! I'm Danni and who are you? Don't we know each other?”
I had to laugh out loud at first and Micha joined in.
Danni didn't think it was that funny and lightly slapped me on the arm. “Hey, I don't think it's funny, we've hardly seen you for almost three weeks!”
“Yes, you're right, I've neglected you a lot. But I promise to do better,” I tried to appease them.
“What do you actually see in Markus?” Timo suddenly asked me.
“What should I find in him? He's nice and you can chat with him and we had a lot of fun the last few days.”
“I don't really like him. Something about him bothers me,“ said Timo.
“If you think so, to each his own and to me the most,” I replied.
“Come on guys, stop it! Come on, let's play a game of volleyball.”
“Ok!” we said, and off we went. We built our net, which was made of self-crocheted wool, and played two against three. Since Danni and I were the better players, we took on the other three without any problems.
Suddenly Timo looked strange and said, ”Well, that's all we need.”
I turned around and saw Markus coming. He looked sad, but tried to hide it when he arrived.
“Hi Markus, back already?“ I greeted him and we hugged briefly. That was a ritual for all of us.
“Hi, yeah, I didn't feel like it anymore. I left earlier. Can I play too?” Markus asked.
“Sure,” I replied, and I saw that the others didn't like it. But I didn't care, Markus was my friend and he wasn't feeling well, which the others hadn't noticed.
Markus joined Danni and me on the team and now it was three against three. We were then too strong for the other three, so we then switched. Micha then came to us and Danni went over.
Now it was really a challenge, but we still won.
“What are we going to do now?“ Manu wanted to know.
“Good question, I think I'll go home and eat something first,” I replied. It was already 5 p.m.
“Oh crap, I have to go home soon too,” said Manu. ‘My uncle will grumble again otherwise. Micha, will you take me up?’ Manu asked.
Micha agreed. The two said goodbye to us and left.
“And what are we going to do now?“ Danni asked Timo.
“Come on, we'll go to my place. I'm sure the two of them want to be alone too,” Timo said, pointing at us.
I really couldn't understand why Timo was acting so strangely all of a sudden, it wasn't like him. But I didn't say anything. We said goodbye and I went to my place with Markus.
“What's the matter with you?“ I asked him as we sat in the kitchen and I was peeling potatoes.
“Nothing, what should be the matter?” Markus replied.
“Oh come on, I can see that something is bothering you. You have a sad look on your face, I noticed that as soon as you came into the schoolyard.”
“You know me pretty well, don't you?” he said.
“So if you don't want to, you don't have to talk, but you know me a little now and you know I'm a good listener.”
He thought for a moment and then began to talk: “Well, when I arrived at my father's, everything was still OK. But then his new girlfriend came. He hadn't told me he had a new girlfriend. Well, it's his business, but the way she treated me was really nasty. And it didn't seem to bother my father. When I spoke to him about it, he just said that if I couldn't get along with Kim, I shouldn't come to visit him anymore.”
Markus started sobbing.
I got up and took him in my arms. He hadn't expected that and started crying really hard. Finally, I stroked his head and just said, “Let it out, it'll do you good.”
Ten minutes passed and slowly Markus calmed down again.
Then I fried us some fried potatoes with a fried egg because we were quite hungry.
After we had eaten, we went to my room and talked for a while.
Suddenly Markus became thoughtful. I looked at him and then I saw on the screen how two men kissed in a series.
Nevertheless, I didn't react to it, but I started to watch Markus. He seemed very pensive and absent for the rest of the evening.
Just before he was about to leave, I stopped him and looked at him. He avoided my gaze and then said,
“Sorry, I really have to go, otherwise mom will scold me.”
“Markus, what's going on? You've been acting so strangely and thoughtfully for two hours. Did I do something wrong?“ I asked him.
“No,” he replied, took me in his arms and left. He said that he would come for breakfast tomorrow morning around ten o'clock.
Ok, I thought to myself, it probably wasn't that important.
I went to bed quickly and dreamt of Markus.
I set my alarm for nine o'clock so that I would have enough time to shower, set the table and make coffee.
It was ten o'clock. I thought to myself that Markus should show up soon.
When he still hadn't arrived at 10:30, I called him. His mother told me that he had left shortly after nine. She couldn't tell me where he was going. I didn't tell her that we had an appointment, I didn't want her to worry.
When he still hadn't arrived by eleven, I got ready and went to look for him. As I opened the door to the apartment, a note fell to the floor. I picked it up and saw that it was addressed to me – it was from Markus.
I closed the door, sat down in the kitchen and began to read.
"Hello Marc,
I don't know how to start this. But we can't see each other anymore.
There is something I can't tell you, and I don't think you would understand it either. I know you are a really nice guy and that you are someone you can talk to about anything, but not about this.
Please don't call me anymore and try to accept my decision. It's not easy for me, but it'll be better this way, I think.
Your Markus
I had to read the letter twice before I had fully grasped what it said.
So many questions shot through my mind: Why didn't he want to see me anymore? What had I done? What couldn't he tell me that I supposedly wouldn't understand?
Tears welled up in my eyes.
I don't know how long I had been sitting there, but the phone brought me back to reality.
It was Micha who wanted to know if we could meet. I told him I wasn't feeling well and that I would get back to him.
Then I went to my room and went to bed. Suddenly I really wasn't feeling well. It hurt so much. I brooded for a while and then cried myself to sleep.
I don't know how, but I actually managed to sleep until the next morning.
When I woke up, the pain was immediately back. And my head started spinning again, too.
I went to take a shower first, got dressed and then called Micha to see if he was free.
We arranged to meet in the schoolyard in half an hour.
When I arrived, Micha was already sitting there.
“Hi Marc, everything okay?“ he greeted me and took me in his arms.
“Hi Micha, okay, I guess.” I didn't say more.
He looked at me, then took my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes.
“Hey, what's wrong with you? You're hiding something.”
“It's Markus,“ I replied.
Micha's look did not change.
“What happened?” he wanted to know.
I told him about the evening and also about the letter. What I left out was the thing with the kissing men on TV.
“Hm, well I can't make sense of that either – but I know one thing: it's not your fault. You're such a nice guy, and if he doesn't see that or, in other words, doesn't want it, then he doesn't know what he's missing.”
“Thanks, Micha, you really are my best friend.” I gave him a hug and then we went for a walk. We talked about everything that came to mind.
When we got back to the schoolyard, I suddenly stopped. Micha turned around and looked at me. Then he looked where I was looking and knew why I had stopped.
Markus was sitting on the wall in the schoolyard. He saw us and then looked away again.
At first I wanted to go to him, but then I quickly changed my mind and just said to Micha: “Come on, let's go somewhere else.”
With that, I turned around and left. Micha stood there a little confused and then followed me.
“Hey, what was that all about?” he asked me.
“What do you mean? Markus made it clear to me that I should leave him alone – and I am doing that.”
“But do you have to go away to do that? The schoolyard is big enough!”
“I just don't feel like seeing him. Come on, let's go to the playground.”
The playground is near the BHW and we often sit there too.
Micha followed me without saying another word. Just as we were about to go down to the playground, we saw Manu.
We waved to her and then the three of us went to the playground. I didn't feel like telling everything again, so I gave Micha a sign that he shouldn't say anything. He nodded and we spent a quiet evening.
Around 10 p.m., Manu was already at home, Micha and I also set off.
“Do you want to go for a beer?” He asked me.
“Nah, I can't pull it today and Gaby is probably already drunk again.”
Gaby is one of the lesbians, and as sweet as she was when she was sober, when she had had a drink you really had to watch out. She was only about 1.60 cm tall, but as the saying goes, small but powerful.
We said goodbye to each other and I went up to the apartment.
The next week I saw Markus from time to time, but avoided him. I did a lot with the others. They were a bit surprised, but didn't comment on it.
On Wednesday evening, I said goodbye to Micha as usual, unlocked the front door and went up the stairs to the apartment.
As I came up the last flight of stairs, I hadn't turned on the hallway light and saw someone sitting in front of the apartment door.
At first I thought it was Manu, who had once again had trouble with her uncle. But when I turned on the light so that I could unlock the door, I saw that it was Markus.
He was sitting there with tears in his eyes, looked at me only briefly and then avoided my gaze again.
“What do you want here?” I asked in a neutral tone.
He didn't answer, but continued to look at the ground.
I felt really sorry for him, the way he was sitting there. But after all, he wanted me to stay away from him.
“If you don't want to talk to me, please let me through so I can catch up,” I said after a few minutes.
He looked up at me, then stood up and looked me straight in the eye.
“Ok Markus, what's wrong with you? What I'm going to say now, I'm only going to say once and I'm not going to repeat myself: either you come in now and we'll talk about everything in peace, and I'm really interested in what I've done wrong, or you go and I don't want to see you again.”
Markus looked at me with wide eyes. I unlocked the door and entered, holding it open for him so that he could enter if he wanted to.
He didn't react. I waited another minute and then said, “Okay, you don't want to. I wish you all the best. Bye.”
Just as I was about to close the door, he stormed up to me and looked me in the eye.
“Please let's talk,“ he whispered.
“Okay, come in and go to my room,” I replied.
I went to the kitchen, got us two glasses and something to drink, and joined Markus on the sofa.
We sat there in silence for about ten minutes. Slowly but surely, I was getting really fed up. Markus meant a lot to me, but it just hurt too much for me to see what he was doing. If he didn't react right now, it was over.
“So Markus, now tell me: what's going on?“ I started again.
“I don't know how or where to start,” he said quietly.
“Maybe why you don't want to see me anymore.”
“That's what's so hard for me,“ Markus whispered.
“Yes, but there must be a reason for that. What did I do wrong?” I finally wanted to know.
“You didn't do anything wrong. It's just me,” he said after a few minutes.
We were both silent again for a while.
“Markus, what's going on? I don't feel like playing these games anymore. It hurts too much for me, you really mean a lot to me. I thought we were friends and could talk about anything.”
“We are, aren't we? I hope so. But there's one thing I find it hard to talk about, especially because it also affects you.”
I was slowly beginning to suspect something. Could it really be possible that my dream was coming true? Was it really possible that Markus was also gay and had possibly fallen in love with me? Now I had to gather all my courage.
“Markus, what could be so bad that you couldn't talk to me about it? You can talk to me about anything. Even if you told me that you were gay and had fallen in love with me, you could talk to me about that too.”
I looked at him and my guess was right. His reaction was exactly as if he had said that I had hit the bull's eye. He got up and went to the window.
“Hello, Earth to Markus, please talk to me,” I said, really trying to keep my voice normal, with tears welling up in my eyes.
“I... You...” he just sobbed and I didn't understand a word.
Ok, I wasn't completely sure, but pretty sure. I thought for a moment and got up too. Then I went to him, grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him towards me. He cried and tried to avoid my gaze.
I gently grasped his chin and lifted his head so that he had to look me in the eye.
I slowly approached him and very gently my lips touched his.
He immediately stopped crying and opened his eyes wide.
Then he pushed me away and shouted at me: “Are you crazy? Do you want to make fun of me now? Yes, little Markus has fallen in love with Marc and now we're going to tease him a little and just kiss him.”
I was so perplexed at first that I couldn't say anything. I only saw anger, despair and fear in his eyes. What should I do at that moment? It was best to take the initiative: I went up to him and gave him a hug.
Then I looked him in the eye, closed mine and approached his lips again.
I noticed how he first jerked back a little, but then he let it happen and our lips met. I slowly opened my lips and my tongue sought its way. When it touched his lips, he opened his mouth very slowly and my tongue wandered on. As soon as I was in his mouth, I met his tongue.
Everything tingle and it was a truly indescribable feeling. We kissed for quite a while and only slowly broke away from each other.
Once again I approached him, gave him another kiss and then pulled him towards the sofa.
“What was that about?” he asked me quietly.
“That was my first kiss with a boy and I'm glad it was with you. Markus, I'm gay too and I fell in love with you on the very first day.”
He just looked at me with wide eyes. But then he smiled suddenly.
“Tell me that again, please.”
“That was my first kiss with a boy and I'm glad you're the one. Markus, I'm gay too and I fell in love with you on the first day. Ok so?” I smiled at him.
“I would never have thought that about you. I fell in love with you too, right away. And when we got to know each other better, it grew more and more. Then came the day when we were sitting here and I saw the two men on TV and you looked too, but then looked away again. I thought to myself, I'll never have a chance with you, and that's why I wrote you the letter the next day.”
“Oh Markus, I understand you all too well. I really thought I must have done something wrong for you to react like that. It hurt so much. But now I'm even happier. Markus, I love you and I never want to lose you again.”
No sooner had I said this than he fell into my arms and we kissed.
I then pulled him onto my bed and we snuggled up together.
Suddenly we heard the front door. Shit, it's my mom!
We both jumped up and sat down on the sofa, or rather Markus sat down. I opened the door and greeted my mom, whispered something in her ear and she nodded.
Then I went back into the room and closed the door.
I sat down next to Markus and looked at him. “Do you feel like sleeping with me tonight, not with me?” I asked him.
“Oh yes, I'd love to. Then I'll just call home.”
I smiled at him and gave him a kiss. Then he got up, had a short phone call with his mother, who agreed, and came back into the room.
We lay down on the sofa again and watched some TV.
At around one o'clock we got ready for bed and for camouflage I also prepared the sofa.
When Markus saw that, he looked at me very sadly.
“Honey, that's just camouflage! Do you really think that now that I have you, I'll let you sleep on the sofa? You belong by my side in my bed.”
He smiled at me and happily took me in his arms.
We lay down, kissed each other and then snuggled up against each other. I was just so happy that I had Markus and that he was now in bed with me and in my arms.
The next few days were just great. I was in love and the best thing was that I could show it. Markus seemed to feel the same way.
The last week of vacation had begun and we wanted to take advantage of it – from next week on, we would have to sleep separately more often again.
As our last night together approached, Markus looked at me and then immediately looked back down.
Oh no, not again, I thought, what does he have now that he can't discuss with me?
“Markus, what's going on now? Didn't we agree that from now on we would talk openly about everything?”
“Yes, you're right. But I'm embarrassed,” he said.
“So then come out with it.”
“I... I... would like to sleep with you!”
So that's what he didn't dare say! That rascal! I had thought about asking him too, but I didn't dare either. Now he had forestalled me. I took him in my arms and whispered in his ear: “Me too with you!”
We kissed and I then pulled him up onto my bed. There we kissed for quite a while.
We made love long and deeply.
“I love you,“ I said to him.
“I love you too!” Markus replied.
We lay snuggled up next to each other for quite a while and then fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up and Markus wasn't next to me. I panicked immediately and jumped out of bed.
But then the door opened and Markus came in. I immediately ran into his arms.
“I was so afraid you had left me.”
“I was just in the bathroom, I would never leave you!” He said and we kissed.
That was our last night and we also spent Sunday together. The next day school started again.
The next few weeks were just incredible. Not much happened, except that we made love more often. Sex with him was just indescribable.
But our luck was not meant to last. We had been together for four months and no one knew except us, Markus came to me very sadly.
“Hey buddy, what's going on?” I asked him.
“My mother is going to move to East Friesland. She's met someone.”
“No. Does that mean we have to break up?” I asked, and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.
“No, I was able to persuade her that I'll stay here with Melanie. Melanie stays here and keeps the apartment. She just said that if anything should happen, I can come to her anytime.”
“God, I'm glad, I think I couldn't stand losing you.”
After that, we kissed and I was glad that Markus could stay here. With me.
Six weeks passed and Markus' mother hadn't lived here for three weeks when one evening Markus came to me completely distraught.
“Marc, I can't stand it here anymore. I can't get along with my sister. I don't know what to do.”
I didn't know what to say and just held him in my arms.
“I love you Marc, more than I would like to, but I can't stay here any longer. I'm going to move to my mother in East Frisia,” Markus suddenly said.
What? I was stunned. What did he say? He's moving in with his mother?
“Please say that again,“ I stuttered.
“You heard me right. I'm going to East Friesland.”
“When?” was the only thing I could manage to say.
“My train leaves tomorrow at noon,” he whispered very quietly.
I couldn't say anything, I just took him in my arms and held him very tightly. Tears shot out of my eyes.
It hurt so much, I still had him here with me but from tomorrow he should be gone.
“How should it go on with us?” I said after a while.
“I don't know, but I think we won't see each other much. I think it's better if we split up tonight. Marc, it hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I love you, but I have no other choice,” he said with tears in his eyes.
“You're right, that'll be for the best. Yes, it hurts a lot. Hold me tight, please, at least for today.”
We snuggled all evening. Then, around 10 p.m., it was time to say goodbye. We held each other and both cried like never before. It hurt so much.
One last kiss and then he left.
I lay down on my bed and cried myself to sleep. The next day was just awful. I had a fever and stayed home.
So that was it. My first great love had left me, and not even because we didn't get along anymore, but because he had moved away. The next few weeks were horrible. On the outside, I wasn't allowed to show anything. I played it very convincingly.
Nevertheless, I often cried myself to sleep. To this day, I have not heard from Markus. I think he didn't want to hurt the other person any more than I did. That's why we didn't talk on the phone or write to each other.
End of part 1

Mr. Skinner’s class was always one I looked forward to. He was my favorite teacher by far. He tried to bring himself down to our level, which was a pretty low one as we were 9th graders and maturity was a word we wouldn‘t have to grapple with till next year. I’d heard upper-grade high-school teachers didn’t put up with much.

Of course, even with 14-year-olds, good teachers didn’t generally put up with shenanigans. They knew how to control a classroom just with their personalities. Mr. Skinner was one of those. Not a disciplinarian; he didn’t have to be. He had the ability to make us ashamed we were disappointing him. I can’t even describe how he did that, but he had us in his sway.

Mr. Skinner was empathetic. I knew that because he told us that at the beginning of the year. “Guys, I know there’s a lot going on in your lives right now. You’re in the process of, well on the way of, changing from little kids to little adults.”

He stopped, looked at us, and said, “Huh? Nothing? I’ve been throwing that line at classes for 40-some years, and it’s always gotten either a moan or some rolling eyes before. What’s wrong with you guys? Lighten up! Okay, I’ll try it again.”

He took a deep breath, eyed a few of us challengingly, then said, “You’re becoming little adults,” and he spread his arms, smiled and almost defied us not to laugh. He won; we laughed.

“That’s more like it. Look guys—and by ‘guys’ I mean both young men and young women—I was your age not long ago, and I haven’t forgotten how that was. You know I haven’t been teaching for 40 years. I’m nowhere near that age. I remember being one of you, and I want you to know, I have a great deal of empathy for you. Any problem you’re having that you’d like to share with someone, come to me. School problems, relationship problems, parents, other kids, grades, how ugly you are, whatever.”

He grinned again and pointed at me. Was he saying I was ugly? Me? I’m not the smartest kid in the school, not even in this class, but I could figure out pretty quickly he picked me because I wasn’t ugly, and he wanted to add humor to his speech. He made a point of making even sensitive and delicate subjects light. I did wonder if he somehow knew I wouldn’t get upset, that this slur would roll off my back. Something to think about.

“I might not be able to solve all your problems,” he continued, “but I can make suggestions, and I’ll always be on your side. Frequently that’s all you need: someone on your side.”

We found he was serious, even when he was grinning. He did want to help. Kids who were too shy to talk in class, he didn’t make them. Kids who had problems with taking tests—either from the standpoint of how much time they had or the pressure brought by other kids turning pages when they were still on the first page—he had them come in and take the tests with only him in the room and gave them all the time they needed. He told them he wanted to see what help they needed with the subject, not how they did under pressure with the clock inexorably clicking away.

By giving kids that needed it that latitude, he was making a point about being on our side and giving extra help to those who needed it.

Over the school year, he commiserated with a couple of boys who got dumped by their girlfriends and a couple of girls, too, just by talking to them. He was sincere about helping us, and we found out he liked us as individuals. He knew all our names within the first two days of the semester, and when he’d see us in the halls, he’d use them. His perpetual smile helped, too. It was so comforting having a teacher like that on the faculty.

He was a good teacher, too. He was sensitive about not embarrassing us, but sometimes in some assignments it was hard to avoid that. He seemed to recognize when that was happening and became careful. He tried to keep us all at ease.

But more than anything, and maybe more important than anything else, he inspired us. He brought so much life to his lessons, he was so animated and enthusiastic, that he made us want to learn. How many teachers do that? He did. It was a pleasure going into his class each day.

He wasn’t very old, probably in his early 30s. He was tall and very slender, and while he wasn’t a terribly attractive man, he made up for that with sparkling eyes and a subdued humor as he spoke to us. We were enamored. And we worked harder for him than any other teacher because we didn’t want to disappoint him.

Which brings me to what this is all about.

I’d better introduce myself. I’m Ronnie Murray. Irish descent. Lots of bright red hair, entirely uncombed or brushed, just a mess sitting high on my head. Made me look taller than I was. Some kids would get teased about how red their hair was. Kids get teased for any differences from the norm. Those who went into a shell from the teasing weren’t happy kids. I felt sorry for them. I didn’t have that problem. I was a pretty confident kid.

No sulking and hiding and studying the floor with my eyes; that wasn’t me. Not a bit. I was outgoing to the max. Friendly with everyone, not a shy bone in my body, and I was lucky enough to be pretty athletic. A lot of 14-year-olds are a little clumsy. New bodies, changing shape and size; losing coordination; losing baby fat; gaining muscle—there are lots of reasons why suddenly we aren’t as carefree, as happy-go-lucky as we’d been. I saw it happening all around me. The successful kids made fun of themselves when it happened. Some kids weren’t able to do that. Life for them was harder.

Somehow, I’d avoided that. Where other boys were tripping over their own feet now, I was becoming more coordinated, could run faster, and had no problem with any of the things we did in gym class. I played basketball and spent my time under the boards, giving as hard as I was getting, but joking about it, too. We did some gymnastics stuff, even wrestled. It sounds awfully braggy to say it, but it was kinda apparent that I was either near or at the top in everything we did. And teasing about the red hair? I followed my instincts: I laughed it off, and it stopped. I laughed along with the teasers, and to push it farther after that would have made the critics look bad.

My hair was red, but the rest of my face was unpimpled and attractive enough that girls insisted I sit at their table during lunch. I guess that meant I was popular. The thing is, a lot of popular kids at 14 aren’t sure how to handle it and become arrogant and overbearing. They act superior and do other obnoxious things because they can. They form cliques; they get unpleasant.

I didn’t do that. I was friendly, not superior. I tried to be nice to everyone. I didn’t understand why more kids weren’t like that. I was popular without the negatives. I hung with everyone. That was just how I was.

I was certainly one of the larger kids in our ninth grade. Not by a lot, but I was a bit taller, probably a bit heavier than the other boys. Bigger.

I was well into puberty. As most of us didn’t shower after gym, I didn’t really know about the other kids. Showers were optional, and kids these days were modest, a lot more than my dad said kids were back when he was one of them. Some of us showered, usually the older kids. I was thinking that I wanted to—and would. Maybe soon. If I did, I’d probably be teased about my bright red pubes, but that wouldn’t last long and wouldn’t be a problem for me. I’d ask why they were looking down there, and my tone of voice would depend on the nature of the teasing. Being large for my age brought benefits.

As I said, I was confident. Enough so that when we were all leaving Mr. Skinner’s room that first day, I stopped and waited till we were alone. I smiled at him and asked, “How’d you know I wouldn’t take offense at being called ugly?”

He smiled back. “Ronnie,”—damn, he already knew my name —“I like kids your age, and I don’t want to embarrass anyone. So, I get the files of all the kids I’m getting each year. I read them during the summer. I knew you’d laugh it off. I think you and I are going to get along great this year. I think we’re going to get to know each other pretty well. You’re going to be useful to me.”

I was going to ask him what he meant by that—it could have been creepy if I took it that way—but I needed to get to my next class and never got around to asking. He never became creepy.

[IMG alt="Scene break image"]https://www.awesomedude.org/cole-parker/th…scene-break.gif[/IMG]

Mr. Skinner had reasons for everything he did. I came to that conclusion early on. I spent a lot of time watching him. It was because of him that I wondered if I’d like to teach some day. He’d be a good role model if I did decide to go that way.

He grinned at us when he told us about our next assignment. “Some of you will be going to college. One thing college profs will assign—or TA’s; you know what those are? No? You will; you’ll probably get TA’s in the first year there—will be a research project. I want you to learn how to do one as it might be part of your college experience. Heck, you might even have an assignment like this next year in high school. So, I want you to learn how to do one. I’ll go into some detail of what I want, but first, just to make you uncomfortable—I love making you guys uncomfortable, taking you out of your safety zones, broadening your horizons—I’m going to give each of you a partner. Someone to work with. The paper you’ll end up writing will have both your names on it. You’ll work on it together.”

He stopped and picked up a piece of paper from his desk. “I’ve chosen the partnerships. I spent some time doing this. A few of you will want to change partners for whatever reasons 14-year-olds feel are important. This will be my response if you come to me to get reassigned: suck it up. These will be your partnerships, and that’s final. Okay, here we go.”

He read off the pairings. I knew these kids and was surprised at who he’d matched with whom, but I also thought I saw reasons for some of them, which made me think there were reasons for all of them. There were different reasons for some than others. I didn’t have time to figure them out as he was reading off the names.

Then he came to mine: “Gleason and Murray.”

Wow! Okay, this was going to be interesting. Clark Gleason was as much of a nonentity as there was in the class. He’d been with us since first grade. But no one knew him. And it wasn’t because he was standoffish or for any of the usual reasons that some kids just don’t fit in, don’t make friends, and are sort of left on the edges of our close-knit society.

Clark just didn’t make any attempt to get with us, and by third grade, everyone accepted that that was who he was. He didn’t want to be one of us, and so we allowed him that privacy. We didn’t understand it at all because even at our age we understood the need for social contacts, for friendship. It had been offered to him; he hadn’t responded. If someone spoke to him, he answered with as few words as possible. He wasn’t rude or arrogant. He just stayed entirely within himself.

We asked him why. Why not join us, have fun with us, not be so by himself? He shrugged and just gave us a wan sort of half-smile and didn’t answer.

And so, we eventually stopped trying.

Now he was 14 like the rest of us and still entirely alone. Even the teachers didn’t understand him. He did his assignments, answered questions when asked with as few words as possible, and when asked things that needed more than that, needed an extended vocal answer that was personal rather than academic, he just shook his head, looked the teacher in the eye and said, “I can’t answer that.” Then he sat down.

Clark was about the same physically as the rest of us. Decent-looking, maybe even better than decent in an off-beat sort of way. Good-looking, maybe, not cute but pleasant features, blondish-brown hair, dark eyes. He’d be even better looking if he ever smiled, I thought. He was almost as tall as I was but more slender. As he never joined us on the playground, I didn’t know if he was athletic or not, but I supposed he wasn’t. If he was, why not join us?

The teachers we’d had growing up mostly had learned not to call on him. Oh, early on, some thought their mission was to make him join in. He hadn’t. One, an eager first-year enthusiastic one, even gave him detention for not giving a speech she’d assigned him. Somehow, he didn’t serve the detention. We didn’t know how that worked, but the kids in detention said he didn’t show up, and that was all we ever knew. The eager teacher left him alone after that.

Now I was paired with him. I looked up at Mr. Skinner. He wasn’t looking at Clark. He was looking at me with very unreadable eyes. Then he called out the next partnership.

[IMG alt="Scene break image"]https://www.awesomedude.org/cole-parker/th…scene-break.gif[/IMG]

Okay, I found out what that blank look on Mr. Skinner’s face had been. He’d been challenging me! I learned that when I went up to speak to him after class. Rather than answer my question of ‘why me’, his eyes spoke to me, saying, “Ronnie, I dare you to get through to Clark. You can’t do it! If I can’t, then neither can you.”

My reaction: oh yeah?

With other teachers, I might have had a different reaction. With him, I was all in. He thought I couldn’t do it. I’d show him! Maybe no one else had gotten through to Clark in eight years, but I would. Even though I’d been one of the ones who’d failed before.

I just had to figure out how to approach this problem. There had to be a way.

I could get mad and yell at him and tell him I got all A’s, I was planning on doing so again, but if his name was on the report, he damn sure was going to put in the work, and we’d do it together!

Well, maybe I’d get angry at a last resort if necessary. That probably wouldn’t work, though, and in any case, that wasn’t me. It wasn’t the way I acted. Not the way I wanted to act, either.

So, something else. How about trying pity? “Damn, Clark, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this now. I can hardly get up in the morning. I’m feeling terrible grief right now. My dog, the one I’ve had since I was four—Billy Goat was his name; he was my best friend—just got hit by a car. I’m too shook up to work on this. I think you’re going to have to do most of the work, and I’ll help a little at the end if I can, if I’m not feeling like dying like I am now.”

That might not work because he might have seen me on the playground yesterday playing basketball and laughing when Jason got his pants yanked down as he was going up for a rebound. And I might have had a hand in the pantsing. Just maybe. I’m admitting nothing.

How about being aloof. “Hey, you don’t want to work with me? Well, hell, I don’t like you much, either. I’ll draw up a list of topics we can cover, then you pick half of them, and I’ll take the other half. You can pick first because I’m the better student and don’t need easy.”

That was just as uncomfortable for me as being mad. Thinking about these things, I realized I just wanted to be me. That was what I was good at. Play-acting? Not so much. And too, I realized that all these ways of getting him to engage with me on the project that I’d considered were based on problems that were mine. Not his. He didn’t need to do anything to help me solve my problems. I should be thinking of problems he might have that I could help him with. Maybe that was the answer.

Of course, I didn’t know him at all and if he had problems, how would I find out if he wouldn’t tell me?

I decided how to approach him, however. I’d just be me. That’s what I’d do and riff on that, if necessary. Hey, this was a school assignment, and he always handed those in along with everyone else. I had no idea how smart he was. He didn’t speak much at all in class, and teachers in our school never put large red grades on assignments they handed back so everyone knew what everyone else got. They put the mark somewhere on the paper where only the kid getting his graded paper back would see it.

So, how to approach him? Physically, that wasn’t going to be difficult. He ate in the cafeteria like all of us but sat alone at one of the small tables against the wall farthest from the door and serving line. He read a book and seemed oblivious to whatever else was going on.

What would I say to him after approaching? I decided that would depend on him.

[IMG alt="Scene break image"]https://www.awesomedude.org/cole-parker/th…scene-break.gif[/IMG]

Lunch time.

The cafeteria was raucous as usual. Any room full of 14- to 18-year-olds, many of them wanting to be the center of attention wherever they were, was bound to be cacophonous. This room was no exception.

I threw some of the mostly unappetizing glop they had for us onto a plate and carried the tray over to where he was sitting. Clark. Clark Gleason. He didn’t look up when I got there and stood next to the table.

I waited.

It would have been both rude and obnoxious for him not to acknowledge me, and he was neither as far as I knew. Maybe a bit antisocial, perhaps even on the autism spectrum for all I knew, but not expressly unfriendly or offensive.

He looked up at me. His eyes showed nothing. He didn’t speak.

“Hi, Clark. I won’t introduce myself; you know my name like I know yours. You heard my name called with yours today, so you know why I’m here. I won’t ask to sit down, but I will ask you a question. Are you willing to work with me on this research paper?”

I thought that was brilliant! Whatever he said, it would define what happened next, and it would be his decision.

I could read his eyes then. Usually, he showed nothing at all. Now, I could see something. I could only interpret it as looking torn. I didn’t understand that, but no one seemed to understand anything when it came to Clark. Maybe he was simply uncomfortable because I was practically forcing him to talk. But no, I didn’t read it like that. It seemed more than discomfort.

I waited.

1

It is never possible to be truly alone in this place. One must work at it, diligently and deliberately, seeking solace and solitude on the city’s terms, not on one’s own. Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere in this city, what green there is is limned and lined with gray, and hard edges, and people.

For me, here, now, it’s Bryant Park and the great bulk of the library rearing up behind me. This is a beautiful place, one of the best in the city, elegant and formal. Here, more than anywhere else—even Central Park—I can find my solitude.

It’s crowded, of course; what place here isn’t? Students, tourists, executives and secretaries, mothers with children, professional men and women of a certain age, as am I. All of us bound together by sound and motion: the thudding beat of rap, the happy laughter of children, the inquisitive coo of pigeons, the honk and bleat of traffic.

One accepts this place on its own terms, or one does not. It’s that simple. It’s easy to lose oneself in a place like this. One of the paradoxes of living among these many millions is that, by and large, every one of them will do what they can to avoid having to deal with you.

For twenty years, I have done the same.

And now I have to go home.

—

Two hours ago, this morning, my mobile buzzes in my pocket. I fish it out; it’s my sister. And, somehow, I know. “Teresa,” I say.

“Hi.” Silence. Then “She… wants you here.”

“Command performance.”

“No. It’s not like that. She… well, I don’t know what she wants, not really. She’s in one of her moods, again.” My sister’s voice is tired and resigned. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t even bother you with it. But… ”

“But she can’t call me directly and say that.”

“Mark… ”

I can leave. It will be difficult, but I can. One of the perks of being the one of the owners of your own firm is that you can, within reason, do whatever you want, whenever you want. Not that I want to do this. “How soon?”

“Well… as soon as you can swing it.”

“Months? Weeks? Days?”

Teresa hesitates. “Weeks… probably. But not very many.”

I hesitate. She should see a doctor, is on my lips, but that’s all she’s done, almost her entire life, at least since I’ve known her. Never a time when she wasn’t suffering, some of it real, most of it not, until this last time. And I think it surprised her. I think she’d built another construction on top of some phantasm and it had, very concretely and somewhat awkwardly, become real and tripped her up.

“Mark, please. If it means anything, she did ask me directly. She wants you here.”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll have to… ”

“Well, let me know when you know more. Arrangements, and stuff.”

I let her go, and she me. I get up and go to the window, a narrow strip of glass that gives out onto the heart of Midtown, into other rooms and other lives ranked around me, cities stacked on top of cities. I can see other me’s there, on the phone, or bent over a table or mesmerized by a computer screen or in a meeting.

I can do this, I know. Projects wrapping up, halfway done, pending… I can transfer them as I need to, if I need to, could and probably will work remotely as I am able—as I am allowed to—among the many small theaters in the denouement of my mother’s life.

I have not been back home since I left it, twenty years ago, full of myself, willing to slough off that rough and rural life for this one, of business and busyness and industry and self. Going home will not be pleasant.

After I make arrangements—a flight tomorrow morning whose cost is very nearly that of a month’s rent on my apartment—I try to work but I can’t, so I excuse myself and go outside. Hence, the park.

—

A car—one of thousands of black Lincolns scuttling around the city like roaches under a kitchen light—picks me up at my apartment early. The driver is a handsome young man, Hector, Puerto Rican by the small flag of a pin affixed discreetly to a lapel; he tries for some light conversation as I nurse the now lukewarm coffee I’d taken with me but he can see that I’m not interested and falls silent as we angle and curve our way through the city and out of it, heading for the airport. Brooklyn and Queens stir themselves in the wake of our passing.

I call the office, one more time, ever the inveterate modern New Yorker (by adoption), unwilling to let even one minute pass by unencumbered. I talk to the various project architects handling the day-to-day of our work, micro-managing with the best of them; I can sense eyes rolling and the blah-blah-blah of their hands mimicking my instructions. Make sure you and see that he and take a meeting as soon as, and then I’m done.

—

The airport is the airport, a bazaar of both the bizarre and the pedestrian. The city, having managed to snare you once, is unwilling to let you leave it without exacting its pound and then some of your flesh and soul. You endure it as you must, thinking of the labors of Hercules, the Crusades, the Bataan Death March.

Hector, at the curb, is unflappable and pleasant as I tip him; with the transfer of money there is something else there, something secret and furtive in his eyes even as I see the glint of gold on his left hand, on a certain finger, and I know that he is taken, but perhaps not completely. I pocket his proffered card with a smile.

—

Inside, I surrender my bag to the agent behind the counter and my dignity to the TSA as I do the hokey-pokey inside the Star Trek glass cylinder, and am deemed acceptable even as gamma rays ping off my chromosomes.

I find myself with a few minutes to spare at the terminal before we board and I call Teresa, knowing she’ll be up.

“Hey,” she says; in the background, I can hear Duane exhorting Corbin and Grace, trying to get them roused for school.

“I’m at the airport.”

“Lexington? Shit… you should have—”

“What? No, no—New York.”

“Oh. So, when do you—

“Uh… four-ish. I go through Atlanta.”

“Of course you do. Doesn’t everybody? Okay.”

“How is she?”

“Good. I told her you were coming, a few days ago. She seemed happy about it.”

“Well, shoot. There goes my surprise.”

Teresa laughs through her nose, and I can hear the sniffsniffsniff of it. I smile. “Plenty of time later for a parade,” she quips.

“I’ll be there, with bells on.”

Again the sniffsniffsniff. “Thank you for doing this,” she answers, her voice quiet.

“Not a problem,” I respond. There’s a staticky squawk from the overhead. “I have to go. We’re boarding.”

“Oh. Okay. See you this afternoon.”

—

Although I’m thirty-seven years old, inside me still is the twelve-year-old who loves getting the window seat on the airplane, and I make full use of it even as the harried-looking fifty-something executive next to me reluctantly surrenders the use of her laptop as we taxi slowly along, waiting for clearance.

And then we’re up and the city falls away beneath us, and I pick out familiar landmarks. Some small part of me is down there in the vastness and the complexity, and I feel a certain pride that I have made my mark on this place even as it has done the same to me.

—

The vast urban sprawl cedes reluctantly to more and more rural landscape as we slide south and west across the country. The Appalachians, no stranger to me, ripple and curl beneath the belly of this plane. Some small part of me is there, too. I’ve just forgotten it. I’ve made myself forget it.

Cities come and go, gray scratches among the green, some familiar—if that’s Washington then that’s Baltimore—some of them not. Charlotte? Richmond? I don’t know.

And then the plane bumps and whirs and we drop a bit as we start introducing ourselves to Atlanta’s airspace. The cabin stirs; attendants go through, brisk and efficient as the first leg of my journey comes to an end.

—

Atlanta was my first stop after college; briefly here, but long enough to begin to understand myself and what was locked up inside me for the past twenty years. It was a heady time, I young and foolish with the rest of us, a vast handful of time before me. I grabbed greedily.

No one particular man stands out in the several that I knew in my time here, save for the last: Patrick, a fair Irish beauty of a boy, sweet and shy and as new to this life as I was. We’d come within a hairsbreadth of making an offer on a house before other things beckoned, and I’d let him slip away into the past, my past.

—

There is time here, between my flights, to slip away into the city and—for a small time—walk the streets of my younger self, a faint half-smile on my face of memory dancing with incredulity as things and places I remember have succumbed with alacrity to the implacable demands of progress.

I don’t. I am good, I am responsible, I sit in the waiting area, coffee perched alongside something nearly inedible, pecking away at my computer, again issuing instructions. One cruel paradox about architecture is that, the further one goes along in it, the less one is able to spend time actually designing something. My life seems bounded by memos and status reports and meetings and change orders.

When I am done, I call Teresa and get her voice mail. Not a big deal; we’re still on schedule, and I mumble something to that effect and end the call.

I salve the wounds of my unwillingly-abandoned career by pulling out the stylus for my pad and sketching; nothing much—no Pritzker Prize winners here—but it helps to ease the psychic pain to create something, even if it might never get built. Patrick once laughingly accused me of sketching the same structure over and over, and perhaps he was right and that it simply hasn’t found a home yet.

The phone buzzes. Teresa. I pick up. “Hi.” Silence. “Teresa?” Perhaps she’s dialed my number by mistake. “Teresa.” Then, a choked sob and a sniff, but she’s not laughing. And, again, I know. But I make her say it. “Teresa, what’s wrong?”

“Where—” she starts; her voice is clotted thick with pain. “Mark, where are you?”

My heart thuds in my chest. “Atlanta.”

Her breath comes through the phone’s tiny speaker as a thready exhalation of sound. “She’s … Mark, she’s gone.”

Somehow, I knew she would do this. I knew. “What happened?”

“She just… she didn’t want to wait, I guess. For it to come to her. I—”

“What happened, Teresa?”

“The neighbor… uh, Frank?… thought he smelled something, smoke, or… and he went over and she’d… well, the car, and… ”

I can give her credit for that, at least. She decided to spare us the Grand Guignol of this, unwilling minor walk-ons in this her latest show.

“Mark?”

“I’m here, Teresa. I’ll be there in a couple of hours. Just… wait for me.”

I end the call and stare mutely down at its candy-colored face.

Months, weeks, days. Hours, it turns out.

We board.

—

The same but different, this time. We’re down almost before we’re up, in a smaller plane this time; Lexington does not rate the adult airplanes, only these little toy things. We scud low over a bucolic landscape tousled by the tail-end of the mountains I’d only just crossed. Neatly-cropped fields in every color of green plait the landscape; the mid-afternoon sun slants obliquely across the land and the ponds and rivers weaving through the farms shine like copper dragons chasing golden coins.

I stare out the tiny window in lieu of thinking about my mother. I assume that at some point, grief will find me. It hasn’t yet. Anger, perhaps, is there at first, that she couldn’t have waited until I’d arrived.

And, perhaps, a little bit of admiration as well, that she’d had the courage to go through it.

—

Duane is at the airport to meet me instead of Teresa; he’s there when I walk past all of the screening apparatus for outgoing passengers. We give each other a lopsided smile; he greets me with a lean-in, cheek-brushing bro-hug kind of thing, and by some mutual agreement we don’t talk about Teresa or Nancy.

“I’ve got a bag,” I announce.

“Oh. Okay.”

We walk down to baggage claim side-by-side; our conversation is aleatory and non-committal, the kind of conversation people have when they don’t want to talk about the thing they really should be talking about. What few people are in the airport are different from the throngs that ply the concourses back home: more-casually dressed, quieter and more subdued, with little of the hurly-burly I am used to.

Duane’s not a bad sort; we’ve always gotten along, not only because we’d had to. Luckily, Teresa had found him early on, before our mother’s delusions could take hold of her. He’s religious, but not like Nancy was; it didn’t consume him even as it did her. I’d sloughed all that business off like so much dead skin when I’d begun my life of unrepentant sodomy.

Duane knows I’m gay, is okay with it. Were I forced to admit it, I might twig to a certain attraction to my brother-in-law; there’s a certain appeal to his country-rough features and good ol’ boy demeanor. I’ve never tried anything, of course, and I never will; he’s managed to make a life with my sister, even coaxing two kids out of her, and I want Teresa to be happy more than anything. She deserves to be happy.

—

I throw my bag into the back seat of his truck, a loud, red thing half again as tall as me and I understand that our Duane is doing pretty well for himself despite barely squeaking through high school. I can’t remember exactly what he does; some kind of contracting work… trees? Septic tanks? Landscaping? Murder for hire?

I buckle myself in as the truck rumbles to life around us, watch silently as he threads his way out of the airport and onto the road leading west to their house outside of Versailles. Only then do we talk.

“So… ” I start.

He glances at me and his expression is a strange but understandable mix of rueful smile and grimace. “Fuck, dude…” he starts, the eternal statement of all men everywhere who have resigned to things—and people—outside of their control.

“What happened?”

He glances at me, returns his attention to the road as afternoon traffic flows around us. He makes a gesture with his hands, his thumbs, really, some gesture of futility. “Man, I don’t know. She just… well, of course it wasn’t just the usual Nancy drama, not this time, but it wasn’t that bad. We all thought she’d… fight it.”

“What was it?” I persist.

Duane glances at me again. “You don’t know?”

I shake my head. “Last thing I knew, she was trying to convince the government to declare her disabled.”

“Well, she did that, but… ” He stops speaking, marshaling his thoughts. “That was a few years back, Mark.”

I can hear it, the tacit disapproval. “We’re not particularly close.” So, fuck you, Duane. You have no idea.

“Dude, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just… ”

I say nothing, turn my attention to the passing landscape. In mid-summer, it’s beautiful here. Horses are the main crop in this part of the state and I watch the neatly-fenced farms slide past, crisp and gleaming against the bluegrass. There is a settled aspect to this country, something quaint and English about it. Low stone walls rise and fall with the hills and hollows. I grew up here, went to school here, and all of this just became so much visual static. I stopped seeing it a long time ago.

Duane tries again. “She wasn’t feeling all that good a few weeks ago, so she went in… and went back in, and went back in again and they told her it was cervical.”

“Teresa never told me that.”

“Well… I think Nancy told her not to.”

“Why?”

“Dude, if I knew the answer to that, I’d be a genius. Just another way for Nancy to… well, to be Nancy, I guess.”

“So, cancer… ” I start. “How bad?”

“Mmm… bad, but not all that bad. I guess she could have fought it.”

“But she didn’t.”

“No. We thought she would. I mean, Terri had it all lined up in Lexington, take her there and wait and bring her back. It wasn’t going to be easy, but… ”

“It would be just her, this time. She couldn’t drag anyone else into it,” I suggested.

Duane favors me with a long look. “No.”

—

Duane skirts the edge of town, continues a little further west. Old houses become younger and younger until finally we turn into a hot-off-the-press subdivision with some meaningless name. Each house here is allotted five acres of land and the structures stand isolated; this was obviously somebody’s farm until quite recently. There’s a certain forlorn aspect to the place, a “Christina’s World” look to it. I’ve always hated development like this; there’s a certain “fuck you, I’ve got my own” feel to it. Little chance of this happening in New York, where every square foot is fought over and contested and priced up in the stratosphere.

Duane pulls the truck into a long, winding driveway. His house is an incongruous mix of Queen Anne and Craftsman; the two have obviously been fighting and the house is not a happy one architecturally. He goes around the side of the house to a four-car garage nearly the size of the structure he and his family occupy. He presses the button to the door opener, and one of them trundles up and out of the way as he slips the truck into its berth. Another truck is to my right, a more workaday vehicle, crimped and battle-scarred, festooned with ladders and other equipment. Bradshaw Painting is written on a magnetic sticker applied to the driver’s door, and only now do I remember what it is that Duane does for a living.

—

I can hear Teresa’s voice on the phone as we enter the house through the side door, leading into the kitchen. The house is open and airy, which surprises me, but it also serves to dwarf the few pieces of furniture arranged in isolated archipelagoes on a sea of red oak flooring.

“… not sure what we’re doing—oh, they’re here,” I hear as she winds up a conversation with someone.

Duane bumps my arm. “I’ll take your bag upstairs,” he murmurs, and I let him.

I go into the living room and she’s there, my twin, and we go to each other.

I cry because she cries as we embrace.

1

The world is so damn unfair. I could throw up! I'm only realizing this now because I'm on the verge of one of my depression episodes. For what feels like an eternity, I've been rushing around the apartment looking for a bracelet. Of course I can't find it, and I'm very close to a nervous breakdown. The bracelet was from one of my ex-boyfriends and means a lot to me. Apparently, however, I have lost it somewhere. I remember putting it on again last week after playing squash, but now it is gone. I have no idea how long it has been missing. That's the stupid thing. I didn't even realize it was gone. What a bummer!
Slowly, two hands slide over my shoulders from behind and travel down my torso. Warm breath brushes my neck, and if I hadn't been in such a damn bad mood, I would have enjoyed it.
“Stop it,” I murmur instead, grab my coffee and disappear into the living room.
“What's wrong with you?” Benni asks and sits down next to me on the sofa.
“I lost my bracelet.”
“Patrick's?”
“Yes,” I grumble and turn on the TV. There's actually nothing on that would interest me, but it doesn't matter now.
“And that's so bad that you won't let me touch you?”
“I can't be in a bad mood and cuddle with you or do anything else at the same time.”
“Then just forget your bad mood.”
“Nah.”
“What? Do you want to wallow in it a little longer?” he asks stubbornly.
“To be honest, yes. I know you can't stand Patrick and it probably suits you just fine that the bracelet is gone, but it was very important to me.”
“I think you should finally forget about him.”
“It was clear that you would see it that way,” I say irritably and stomp into the bathroom.
“In case you haven't noticed, you're with me now. At least I thought so.”
“I've noticed that. Thank you for your trust.” I put the toothbrush in my mouth and start brushing. I hate brushing my teeth. Just like I hate arguing with Benni. Especially about this topic. He's not really jealous at all, only when it comes to Patrick. For some reason, he's totally allergic to him. Maybe it's because I went to Benni when Patrick broke up with me. I was devastated because it happened so suddenly and Benni was the first person I told. We had only just met and didn't know much more about each other than our first names, but he just happened to be there when I needed someone to talk to.
I still feel sick when I think about that day. Maybe Benni notices that too. Still, he should know me better. I'm not going to follow someone who threw me away like an expired yogurt.
“I'm sorry, Manu,” he says, cuddling up against my back. “But I ate the guy.”
He looks at me through the mirror with wide eyes. At the look, I am even tempted to forget my bad mood and decide that I have done enough oral hygiene. Benni grins and strokes my belly.
“What's going on?” I ask as his fingers unbutton my pants.
“I'll help you take off your clothes.”
“How kind of you,” I say, turning to him. His lips touch mine and finally chase the dark thoughts out of my head.
“Do you still want to sulk?” He asks, pulling me behind him into the bedroom.
“Make me a better suggestion, and I might refrain from doing so.”
He plops himself down on the bed, takes off all his clothes and disappears under the duvet.
“I can't think of anything,” I hear him mutter.
“Me neither,” I say and climb into bed with him.
“You don't go to bed with your clothes on.” He tugs at my sweater.
“I just thought you would like to continue what you started in the bathroom.”
His eyes flash and then he's already on top of me, kissing me.
“Absolutely.”
I put the pen and pad aside and sigh as I fall onto my bed. What wouldn't I give to have Benni with me right now. The only problem is: I'm shy and nobody knows that I'm gay. My parents would kill me and I can do without anyone at school finding out.
Oh man! I wish I was like Manu. Just going for it and not always keeping everything bottled up inside. He says when he doesn't like something and always knows exactly how to get others to pay attention to him. I totally admire that. I have no talent at all for looking sexy or even seducing other guys. Can you learn it? Well, and if you can... I'd rather leave it all to Manu. That way I get something out of it too. In my imagination.
I turn off the light and bury myself under my duvet. Starting tomorrow, it's vacation. Finally, I can sleep in again. And even better, my parents have agreed to go on vacation without me. I think that's by far the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. And that too should say a lot about my life so far.
Loud banging and cursing wake me up much too early the next morning. My parents are obviously having trouble loading the car as planned. No wonder, given the masses they are trying to stuff into it. Yesterday, our entire hallway was full of bags, suitcases, backpacks, folding boxes and who knows what else. And it's a long and quite wide hallway.
I stay in bed for a while, because it still feels like the middle of the night to me. But eventually I have to drag myself out of bed to say goodbye to my beloved parents. They are sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea.
“Good morning, Moritz. You didn't have to get up,” my mother says, and I don't believe a word of it.
“I can sleep late enough in the next few weeks.“ I'd rather not say that you couldn't have slept with all the noise.
“I hope you realize that you are solely responsible for this house for the next two weeks,” says my father in his regular business tone. He really always talks like that. All the more reason not to let him in on my secret. What a shame it would be...
“That means no wild parties where drunks rampage in our house, no strangers and please make sure that everything is locked when you leave the house or go to bed.”
Really. Do I look like I want to throw wild parties? Who should come? Really a good joke.
“I think we should slowly make our way home, honey,” my mother interjects. At least she doesn't have such a bad image of me.
“Yes, you're right.”
Shortly thereafter, they've disappeared and I can finally drink my coffee in peace. This silence...
Benni was really insatiable last night. I think I now smell more of him than of myself. That doesn't seem to bother him, though, because he's kissing my neck right now.
“Hmm,” I grumble, because I just woke up.
“It's really incredible how soundly you sleep. You even kept snoring when I...”
“Yes, very interesting,” I interrupt him and stop his hand from slipping under the covers. “I'm going to take a shower.”
“Wait, I'll come with you,” he says and jumps up.
“No, I need a break now. You've had enough fun.”
“Spoilsport.”
The water that meets me is ice cold. So Benni has once again forgotten to set the temperature back to a tolerable warmth. I don't know how many times I've told him that. And sometimes I think he doesn't give a shit. I'm not going to die from it, he always says. Well, at least I'm awake now.
Benni is lying on the bed watching TV. Olympics. What else? I think he's addicted. They're showing some kind of swimming competition. I find it deadly boring and these suits are more than a little embarrassing.
“Look how muscular he is,” he says, fascinated, pointing at the swimmer Phelps.
“I don't think it's very nice. And I don't like you staring at them like that either.”
“I'm not staring at all. But you have to admit that it looks awesome when they're all soaked and then the muscles.”
I am appalled and stand directly in front of the TV, if he doesn't want to look at me voluntarily.
“And if I stand in front of you soaking wet, isn't it hot?”
“Yes,” he says, grinning mischievously at me. “And if you're so jealous, I like that even better.” He pulls me onto his lap and caresses my upper body.
“So you just wanted to annoy me, did you?” I should have known better.
“That was revenge for you leaving me here alone. And by the way, nobody looks as hot as you do when you get out of the shower.”
I kiss him and he turns off the TV. Wow! So I'm more important than the boob tube after all.
Manu should actually be grateful to me. He's independent, has a sweet boyfriend and sex. I can't say the same about myself, but then I'm only sixteen. And apparently not all there, when I talk about Manu as if he actually existed.
I'd better get some fresh air and take my mind off things. I need to restock the fridge anyway for my short-term independence. I actually hate shopping, but somehow it's kind of a kick when you shop for yourself.
Fortunately, there's not much going on. I can't stand crowds. And if people then also stand in the narrowest place, I could start screaming immediately. They all only think of themselves. It's always: me first, then me and then maybe you. Maybe I shouldn't think so badly of my fellow countrymen, but isn't it their own fault? A little consideration and selflessness can't hurt.
While I am still ranting in my mind, I walk past a group of teenagers. They look quite freaky, but in a fascinating way. They are sitting on an old wall in the middle of the pedestrian zone and are obviously having fun. In front of them is a CD player playing, in my opinion, good music. Summery feel-good rhythms reach my ears. I could really use that right now. Two of them seem to feel the same way I do and are moving to the beat in a relaxed and happy way. It's only when I take a closer look that I realize that they are two boys. I stop dead in my tracks and watch them. One of them is nestled against the other's back and together they move to the beat of the music. I'm speechless. I would never dare to do that. It's almost like at the CSD. I watched the parade for the first time this year. Of course my parents didn't know about it. They thought I was studying with a friend. I can't believe they fell for that cheap excuse, but it didn't matter to me either. Usually, two guys dancing together isn't anything special, but today? What wouldn't I do to be in her shoes. The sight of it stings, so I move on. I can still hear the music long after I've lost sight of the group, and in my mind the same movie keeps playing over and over: the two guys laughing and uninhibitedly pressing close together. Their hands on each other's bodies, that was a hot sight. Hopefully they'll be gone by the time I go back. I've seen enough for one day to feel like crap. And I want to enjoy my freedom for as long as I can. That's about as much use as a nice dinner with my whole crazy family.
To make matters worse, I'll be standing at the checkout for about ten hours before I can pay for my three things and leave. Didn't I say so? Nobody offered to go before, even though they all had their shopping carts packed full.
Now I just have to buy iced tea. The most important thing. My parents always forbid me to drink this “stuff” because it's so unhealthy. I should rather drink Hohes C and multivitamin juice. I don't have to mention that alcohol is out of the question either.
Done. I'm on my way back. As far as I'm concerned, it could be a bit warmer, more summery. Instead, I'm walking around with a jacket. Maybe it's already fall? But then where was the summer?
I am slowly approaching the place where the cheerful group was sitting earlier, but I don't hear any music. Nice. At least that worked, I think and stroll towards the bus stop. Hopefully I won't have to wait that long for the bus. No sooner have I finished thinking than the said vehicle is already approaching me. Is that some kind of sign? Suddenly everything is working. Maybe I should wish for a handsome boy to kiss me today, but that would be too much of a good thing. The doors open with that awful hissing sound and I get on the bus. All seats are taken. That's the sign. I leave my bags on the floor and just manage to grab a pole before the bus pulls away abruptly.
A few stops and about eight thousand deaths from suffocation later, I can finally get off the bus and take a deep breath of fresh air. An elderly gentleman who could really do with a shower was standing next to me the whole time. I felt very badly fogged by a foul-smelling cloud of sweat. Thank God I made it through this and can finally go home now.
“Hey, wait a minute!” someone calls behind me. Out of reflex, I turn around, not because I think it's meant for me. And I'm struck by lightning. The two boys from earlier are coming towards me. The ones who were dancing in the pedestrian zone.
“It was you who was watching us, right?”
“Uh...“ I break out in a sweat. Hopefully they don't think I was staring at them. Or possibly that I have something against gays.
“It's okay, don't be embarrassed,” one of them chuckles and winks at me. I'm about to collapse. What the hell do they want from me?
“You looked a bit sad. Trouble with your boyfriend?”
“No, I... I don't have a boyfriend. How did you...”
“How did I know you like guys? At some point you get an eye for it, but it was also obvious how you looked at us. What's your name?”
“Moritz. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.”
“You didn't. Why don't you come by again sometime? We're often there and always happy to have visitors. Especially when they're as cute as you.”
There must have been a hallucinogen in my coffee, because before the two of them disappear again, they kiss me on both cheeks at the same time. What a day! I'm so intoxicated that when I get home, I turn to Manu and Benni again. Escape to another world. Most of the time it works quite well.
“So, any news?” Benni asks when I come home from work and drop down on the sofa in full gear.
“Indeed. The police announced in a press release today that there was a brawl in the city center. Really bad. Some crazy guy attacked a group of teenagers. And why?”
“I don't know, spit it out.”
“They were playing loud music and dancing.”
“And what's wrong with that?” Benni asks, massaging my shoulders.
“They were boys. I'm telling you, the world is going to the dogs. Now dancing is already a public nuisance. And I get to write the story.”
“Why you? You're just doing your internship there.”
“I asked myself the same thing. Anyway, I have no idea how to write this article without outing myself.”
“Why don't you talk to your boss again? You'll think of some excuse.”
“Nah, no chance. So how was your day?” I ask to change the subject. Of course I'm interested, but most of Benni's stories are pretty gross.
“Gross.” Didn't I say so?
“Did someone decorate the walls with their poop again?”
“No, I was supposed to watch when a bandage was changed. I've really never seen anything that nasty. The wound was really...”
“I don't think I want to know the details,” I interrupt him and go into the kitchen. “What are we eating?”
“Hot dogs.”
“Again?” I'd better check the fridge again to see if there's another option. If I'm not careful, Benni won't eat anything but hot dogs. He's addicted to them too.
“Should I buy anything else?” He asks, hugging me from behind. I'm flabbergasted because he always lets me do the shopping. Maybe I'm slowly managing to educate him a little.
“You don't have to. I'll just throw a few things we still have in the pan and we're done.”
“That fight is still on your mind, isn't it?”
“What makes you say that?”
“I can see it in your face. Besides, you've never come home so exhausted.”
I sigh. “One of the boys is in the hospital. Broken ribs, bruises and a dislocated shoulder. That's insane. If he had danced with a girl, people would have watched and maybe even applauded. Just because he's gay, he's got the short end of the stick. Are we only allowed to have fun at home? And in gay clubs?”
“You know how they think.” Benni tries to calm me down. Normally, he gets just as upset about things like this, but he probably thinks that would just make me more upset. Well, when he's right... Still, it's beyond me what goes on in the minds of people like that.
"Now I really feel like writing this article. Tomorrow I'll go to the hospital and visit the boy.“ Haha, they'll see what they get out of giving me the story. Benni looks at me strangely. Almost pityingly. I can't use that right now. If he thinks I've gone crazy, he should keep it to himself.
”You do realize that you're going a bit crazy right now, don't you?"
“Yes, yes. I'll make dinner now.”
I read something similar the other day. At the CSD in some Eastern European country, right-wing extremists attacked the participants of the parade. It makes you wonder if they have anything other than hatred and violence on their minds. I really admire all those who are still brave enough not to hide. Unfortunately, I can't count myself among them. I will never be like those two weird guys from the city. They could quickly end up just like the boy in my story. I used to not think about these things at all; I was pretty naive.
After getting an overview of the current state of the Olympic Games, I go to bed. It's still pretty early, but I got up early too. And the day was already a lot more eventful than the ones before. Should I go into town again tomorrow? After all, I was invited by... Great, I don't even know their names. It's kind of rude to ask for your name and not introduce yourself. Maybe I shouldn't get too full of myself, even if one of them said I was cute. But who wants to be cute? And what about the kiss? Oh, they probably do that to everyone. I'll probably make a complete fool of myself when I show up there again tomorrow.
What's certain, in any case, is that I'm not quite all there just thinking about it. I really should urgently shift down a gear and just wait and see if this rush has worn off tomorrow.
Ah, this is what I call a vacation. Sleeping in until eleven, a quiet breakfast and a whole day to spend as I please. First, I'll take a shower and enjoy the warm water. I'm just as much of a wimp as Manu.
For some reason, I'm in a damn good mood. I even try harder with my outfit, because a baggy T-shirt is out of the question today. I've decided to go into town again after all. I can always hide somewhere if I feel uncomfortable. Hopefully they won't make a circus out of it again today, otherwise I'll leave immediately. It remains a mystery what draws me there at all, but with a little luck I won't regret it.
The bus is definitely on time and there are even seats available. Then it can start. However, it seems as if I have forgotten the little self-confidence from this morning at home. During the ride, my hands start to sweat and I feel like I'm on my way to hell. Ridiculous, I know. But I just realize that these guys and I have nothing in common at all. Apart from our weakness for other guys. What am I supposed to talk about with them? I can't just spread my boring life in front of them.
“Hey, Moritz.”
The plan to hide is no longer an option. They're shouting at the top of their voices all over the pedestrian zone. So I'd better go to them quickly before everyone knows my name.
“There you are.”
“Uh, yes. I had nothing else to do,“ I stammer. At least there's no music today.
“All the better. I'm Tim, by the way, and this is Lippe. His real name is Philipp, but well, we call him Lippe.” Better than Snowy, I think. Although the two of them are likely to be just as inseparable as the well-known comic duo.
The group consists of seven young people, and I am now introduced to them one by one. Actually, they seem quite nice and apparently no one is surprised by my sudden appearance. One person, I am told, is still missing. Kai. But he will probably turn up later.
I feel quite lost among all these strangers, especially since Tim and Lippe dropped me off on the wall and then left me alone. So I have no choice but to play the silent observer until the two girls in the group approach me. Anna and Susi.
“Excuse me for being so nosy, but are you into boys?” Anna asks, and I have to be careful not to fall off the wall.
“Yes, why?”
“Too bad. It would have been exciting to have a heterosexual boy in the group for a change. Besides, I like you.”
My cheeks are starting to glow. Where do they all get their self-confidence from? And to explain: Anna and Susi represent the hetero part in this group. All the others, that is, all the boys, are gay.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to take you by surprise,” Anna giggles. She obviously thinks I'm cute too. And that puts a damper on my mood.
“You didn't,“ I lie contritely.
“Where did Tim and Lippe pick you up?” Susi asks.
“Yesterday, when I got off the bus. Do they just talk to anyone?”
“It happens quite often, yes, but only if they like the person. Are you often in town?”
“Nah, I was shopping and then I saw them dancing.”
“Oh, it was you,” says Anna in amazement. ‘That's right, now that you mention it. You caught the eye of pretty much the whole group as you watched the two of them.”
And again I catch fire. How embarrassing! ’I didn't even realize that.”
“Hey guys!” Anna calls. ‘That's the guy from yesterday. Did you notice?”
“Of course,’ one of them shouts back. ”Not all of us are as blind as you.”
Anna sticks out her tongue at him and I feel like shooting myself. It definitely can't get any worse than this.
“There comes Kai,” announces Tim and then turns to me. ”You'd better be careful with him. You're exactly his type and if you're not careful, he'll have you wrapped around his finger in no time. Don't get me wrong, he's a sweetheart, but mostly he just wants to have fun. You better not fall in love with him.”
What? I don't even know him. Do I look like I'm that easy?
“Thanks for the tip,” I say, confused, and wait tensely on the wall until Kai has spotted me and comes over.
“Hello, I didn't think you'd be back so soon. I'm Kai.”
“Moritz.“ I don't know what's up with Tim. He doesn't give the impression at all that he wants to seduce me immediately.
“Ah, Mo, then, yes? Sweet name,” says Kai, smiling at me. Now I know exactly what Tim meant. I guess I've just gotten over the whole falling in love thing, too.
Anna and Susi look at me meaningfully from the side and wait until Kai has rejoined the others.
“You'd better not do that,“ whispers Anna.
“What?”
“Well, to look at him like that. It would do Kai good if he didn't always get what he wants.”
“Who says...” I try to defend myself, but Susi interrupts me.
“You'd better listen to Tim and Anna. They've known Kai forever.”
“All right. I'm going now.”
“Already? Did we say something wrong?“ Anna asks.
“Nah, I'm just getting hungry.”
“Will you come again?”
“Sure.” But not until I've brought order to this huge lump of chaos that has taken up residence in my head.
I politely say goodbye and disappear before Kai can give me one of his looks.
The woman at the information desk kindly tells me where I can find the boy's room as soon as I show her my press card. I admit that I feel a bit important with this thing. But now I should rather concentrate on what lies ahead of me.
I knock on the door and enter. There are two beds in the room, but one is empty and covered with some kind of foil. At least he has his privacy here.
“Hello Martin, I'm from the press, and if it's okay with you, I'd like to ask you a few questions. You don't mind if I use the informal ‘you’, do you?”
“Yes, sure,” he replies in a weak voice. With several broken ribs, it's probably not easy to breathe and speak.
I pull a chair up to the bed and sit down. Where should I start?
“My name is Manu and...” I hesitate briefly, “...I'm gay too.”
“Do your colleagues know?”
“No.”
“And how do you plan to write this article then?”
A bright mind and in this state. That makes things easier.
“I don't know that either,” I answer truthfully. “But I certainly won't leave anything out.”
“Then I'm glad they sent you. I thought I was dealing with a conservative weirdo and that it was my own fault afterwards.”
“But they have to approve the story first. Just because I write it doesn't mean it will be printed.”
“We'll see.”
“So... you're eighteen and still go to school, right?” I begin my interview. He nods. This goes on for quite a while until we have the official part behind us. I write, or rather scribble, everything down in my little notebook.
“Do you often meet in this part of town?”
“If there's nothing else to do and the weather's good, yes. Sometimes we have music with us and sometimes we just hang out.”
“Has anyone ever attacked or harassed you?”
“Some people look funny and whisper, but no one has ever attacked us. Why should they? We just talk and sometimes dance to the music when we feel like it.”
“Why do you think the guy attacked you?”
“Because he's a homophobic asshole. That's all there is to it. We didn't do anything to anyone, especially nothing that would require a beating.”
“How exactly did it happen?” I ask, preparing myself for having to write down a lot of information in a short time.
"My friend and I were dancing to the music when suddenly this man approached us. We heard him swearing from afar, but didn't expect him to be dangerous. He spouted the usual nonsense about us being perverts and bombarded us with all sorts of swear words. The others said I should just let him talk, but I didn't want to. I've had to listen to a lot, but this guy really pissed me off. I went up to him and wanted to tell him what I thought of him, but I didn't even get that far.” Martin put a hand on the bandage on his upper body and grimaced for a moment. He took a few more breaths in and out before he could continue. "He swung and hit me in the face before I could even open my mouth. I went down and then he kicked me. Over and over. I tried to fight back, but I didn't stand a chance. Somehow he managed to get hold of my arm and then pulled on it or did something else that dislocated my shoulder. It happened so fast that I don't even remember how he did it. I only remember the pain. It hurt like hell, you can't imagine. My friend ran after me and pulled the guy away from me. He broke this pig's nose. Our other friends came too and held the guy until the police arrived."
I am speechless and didn't even write down a single word. I won't forget this anytime soon. Martin pauses as if the telling has taken quite a toll on him. He is breathing heavily and is obviously in pain.
“Should I get someone?” I ask, worried, because I have no idea how else I could help him.
He shakes his head. “It's just talking that hurts.”
“Okay, I'll leave you alone then. Can I leave you alone? Shouldn't I rather tell someone?”
“No, go ahead. My friend will be here soon.”
“All right. I'll come back tomorrow, okay?”
He just nods again and I leave the room.
I can't really concentrate. It took me forever just for the last few sentences, so I'd better put the pen down.
Kai is on my mind and I wonder if he really is as Tim said. At least he has a crazy charisma. I can well imagine that quite a few people have already given in to him, and I don't really intend to join that list. Nevertheless, there is a little, nasty something inside of me that wants exactly that. I mean, the way he looked at me... Probably the others thought the same and he probably has already broken many hearts. I know all that and yet I am so crazy to wish to be close to him. That I am really his type, I can not imagine at all. I'm small, not really athletic and as I said, quite shy. So far, I've always somehow blended into the background and nobody really noticed me. At school, the teachers never remember my name and I've always been too uncool for my classmates. I'd be really interested to know when someone is cool in their eyes. Maybe when he beats up a gay boy in the middle of the street?
Kai has probably always been popular. He looks fantastic, has a stunning smile and obviously has no problem approaching others. I wonder if he's ever had a girlfriend? They must surely flock after him.
After I've decided that this worrying is getting me nowhere, I actually make myself something to eat. Earlier, it was just an excuse, but as time goes by, hunger strikes. I have ravioli from the can, my secret favorite. And of course, iced tea. Yay! Life has its good sides, too. Then, however, my eyes fall on the newspaper and the smile disappears from my face. They report on the murder of a boy. He was on his way home from the disco late at night and just stopped at the side of the road to light a cigarette. Another man watched him doing so and attacked him because he thought he was a hustler. The perpetrator was arrested shortly afterwards and said during interrogation that he had done the right thing in his view. It was only when it was explained to him that he had killed an innocent, heterosexual youth that he showed remorse.
A cold shiver runs down my spine as I read the article. Any youth could have been the victim, you have to imagine that. Because there are such sick people, you have to be afraid to go out on the street. The world is really going to the dogs.
Before I went home, I talked to a nurse. She told me that there is a risk of pneumonia because Martin is not breathing deeply enough due to the pain. As far as I understand it, the oxygen then does not reach the tips of the lungs and that can lead to inflammation. That's why patients with a rib fracture also need to take painkillers regularly.
Martin didn't tell me that, of course. It's a good thing I spoke to someone after all, because the nurse said it was absolutely necessary for him to take something for this pain.
I left the hospital feeling a little better and went home. Benni is not back yet, but it shouldn't take long. I make myself a coffee because I have a splitting headache and don't want to take something for it right away. At least I won't get seriously ill from it.
Half an hour later, I hear the front door open and a moment later Benni comes into the living room. I can't see him because I've put a pillow over my face, but who else could it be?
“What are you doing?” he asks, amused.
“I have a headache. The pillow is for darkening the room.”
“I see. I have something here that will make your headache go away quickly.”
“If it's something to eat, forget it. I feel sick too.”
“You're a real jerk,” he says, offended. “Now look.”
Reluctantly, I put the pillow aside and look up at Benni. He's holding...
"My bracelet! Where did you find that?“
”Well, I'm the best,” he says with a grin, sitting down next to me. He grabs my wrist and ties the bracelet around it. ‘I figured that your memory is not something you can rely on, so I went to the sports center. Someone must have found it and turned it in. So much for you putting it back on after squash.’
“Idiot,” I say, pulling him to me and kissing him on the mouth.
“And what about your headache?”
“Still here.”
“That's not possible. Then I'll have to distract you a little more, won't I?” His hands are already under my sweater and his lips are back on mine.
“You're a pig,” I laugh, pulling his shirt over his head. “But a cute one.”
“Well, thank you very much,” he says and pushes me back so that I'm lying on the sofa again. My sweater lands on the floor and Benni's lips instantly move over the naked skin of my upper body. They kiss my stomach, my chest and my neck until they arrive back at my mouth. The throbbing in my head moves further down and settles in my chest. Even after two years together, my heart still starts beating wildly every time Benni touches me. I hope it will stay that way forever and that something like Martin's never happens to us. There are enough enemies out there, but with a bit of luck, we'll never have to deal with their absurd hatred.
It's getting pretty cold on the sofa and there's not that much space to cuddle here either. But I really need that now, so we move to the bedroom. Benni caresses my back with both hands and pulls me very close to him because I'm already starting to tremble with cold.
“It's a real miracle that I haven't frozen to death yet next to you,” he says and pulls the blanket up even higher. “How can you keep cooling down so quickly?”
“I don't know. That's just the way it is.”
“And how's your head now?”
“Great,” I say, already knowing exactly what he's going to answer.
“Too bad.”
“Huh?” I hadn't expected that. I could have sworn he'd say something like, “There's nothing better than me.”
“I was actually hoping you'd need a second dose of painkillers.”
I sigh. “Don't you ever get enough?”
“No, not of you.”
“Then of whom?”
“You know exactly what I mean.”
Yes, I know exactly what you mean, and luckily he can't see my grin right now.

1

As the train pulled out, I waved to my parents and my brother Leif until the train had disappeared from their view. I closed the window and took a seat. The journey would take several hours, so I had some time to think about the next three weeks.
You may be wondering who we are dealing with here, so I would like to briefly introduce myself and explain to the reader who I actually am and why I was on my way to Munich.
My name is Lucien Maergener and I was already fifteen years old at the time. I have short blonde hair and was still quite small and slight for my age. My friends always said I looked like thirteen. On the one hand, that annoyed me a little, but on the other hand, I was happy to be able to participate in normal life again. I had survived leukemia a few years ago and was considered cured. So I didn't really care about anything else. I lived in Switzerland and had had a real family again for about a year and a half. My biological father had died a number of years ago, and until I met my new family, I lived alone with my mother in a nice row house.
I met my stepfather for the first time while he was making a curious purchase. The strange thing was that he was one of the most famous race car drivers of the time. Anyway, my new family developed out of this encounter. I also had three brothers: Leif is sixteen today, Mick and Lukas are almost twenty today, and these two were already studying in Germany. Mick was studying education and social sciences, and Lukas was studying to be a math and computer science teacher. Leif went to a boarding school near our home. He only went to school there, though; I attended a different high school in our town. During that school year, a work placement was on the curriculum, and that's where I came to the reason for my train journey. I was to travel to Munich and do a three-week internship with Karl Geiger. This was a dream for me, because I was a car freak, just like my stepfather Marc Steevens. For me, Marc was also my dad, just as my stepbrothers were brothers to me.
The special thing about my two older brothers was that they had been a gay couple for several years and lived openly with it. I always admired them for it. Just like my family, who absolutely supported them. Lukas had also only come into our family later. He had lost his parents in a car accident and had fallen in love with Mick at boarding school. Dad had then decided to adopt him. So, as you can see, we were certainly not an ordinary family. Oh yes, there was also my mother, Sabine. I love her more than anything and she had always encouraged me to fight and not give up during my leukemia.
The internship in Munich had also developed through my father's contact with Karl Geiger. He had already had some of his collector's vehicles reworked there and I had been there for the first time when I was thirteen. I got on very well with Senior Geiger and he had offered me an internship with him back then. He seemed to like me. Anyway, it soon became clear that I would live there for three weeks and only go back on the weekends. I had been looking forward to this internship for weeks because it was my first opportunity to experience something new on my own. Mom was not at all thrilled, while Dad had supported it from the start. Dad and Mr. Geiger had always gotten along very well.
As I said, that was the current state and I was now sitting on the train to Munich. I had stowed my two large travel bags well and so nothing stood in the way of the trip. I looked out the window at the landscape for a few minutes, but I wanted to prepare a little for the internship. So I picked up my documents about Geiger Cars and started reading. Karl Geiger had sent them to me and I wanted to show that I was interested in the company where I would work. A few train stations later, a conductor entered my compartment and there was a friendly greeting:
“Grüezi, one ticket please.”
“Grüezi,” I tried to answer the conductor in a friendly manner and handed him my ticket. He looked at the ticket and then at me.
“Hui, traveling alone as far as Munich? Do you know your transfer points and can you manage on your own?”
Surprised, I looked at him. He probably also thought I was much younger, but I was pleased about his interest.
“Yes, I'm going to Munich for my internship. And thank you for asking, but I've been getting along very well so far. If I have any questions, can I come to you?”
“Yes, of course. I wish you a pleasant journey. You should be able to catch your connecting train without any problems. We are well on schedule.”
I thanked him and the conductor left my compartment again. I quickly returned to my reading. It was impressive how Karl Geiger had continued to expand his business. For years he had been a well-known player in the automotive market. He specialized in everything that came from America. Dad had his Ford GT converted there at the time and since then the car had been running without problems. We had also bought the van for our family there. We had been on vacation with it a few times, as well as on trips together.
A thought crossed my mind. Would I be able to meet the physical demands? I could well imagine wanting to do an apprenticeship in this field later on, but I also had a lot of respect for it. Manuel, a good friend of Mick and Lukas, was a race mechanic and often told me about the great stress and strain. My mom didn't really want me to go down this path, but my dad had told me to definitely try. If it wasn't enough, then at least I tried. And that's exactly what I wanted to find out in this internship.
I put my documents aside and looked at my watch. I had just a few minutes left before I had to change to an ICE to Munich. So I quickly packed up all my things and took the bags out of the overhead compartment. Standing in the aisle, I waited for the train to enter the station. Quite a few passengers were standing with me in the aisle and left the train very hurriedly as it stopped at the platform with screeching brakes. I looked around for a signpost and found myself standing on the platform, knowing that I only had ten minutes to get to my new train. I asked a railway employee, who was very friendly and gave me the information I needed. A few minutes later, I was standing at the appropriate platform, looking at the display. It said:
“The ICE to Munich is expected to be delayed by twenty minutes. There are operational disruptions.”
Great, that went well. It would have been too good if Deutsche Bahn had ever been on time. So I put my bags on a bench and sat down on the bench. I took out my cell phone and looked up the number for Geiger Cars. Karl wanted to pick me up at the station, but that would be delayed by quite a bit. I didn't have his cell phone number yet. So I called the company and hoped to find him there. The receptionist answered and I asked for Karl Geiger. Of course, she first wanted to know why I wanted to speak to the boss. I explained it to her and within seconds Mr. Geiger answered:
“Geiger, what can I do for you?”
I had to smile. So I answered:
“Hello Mr. Geiger, this is Lucien Maergener. I have a problem...”
I didn't get a chance to continue because he interrupted me.
“Hello Lucien, what's the problem?”
“My train is delayed. I won't be able to keep to the time. I'm sorry.”
“Oh, I know that already from the railways. How much later will you arrive?”
“So far about half an hour, but I don't know if everything will go smoothly now.”
“All right, no problem. Please call me from the train when you know when you will be in Munich. I will make sure that you are picked up. Don't worry, it's all fine.”
“Thank you very much, Mr. Geiger. I look forward to seeing you again. See you later then.”
With that, I ended the call. I texted Mom to let her know not to worry if I didn't check in on time. So I was forced to sit and wait on a platform. Fortunately, it wasn't cold yet in September. However, I did notice that there were some strange characters moving around on the platform. I didn't necessarily want to meet them alone in the dark. Then an announcement was made.
“Dear passengers, the ICE to Munich will be arriving on platform 7 in a few minutes. Please pay attention to the information on the platform.”
Very good, I thought. So it wasn't going to take that long after all. I took my bags and went to where my intended carriage was supposed to be. Sure enough, a few minutes later the ICE stopped and I was able to board the right carriage straight away. Dad had insisted that I had a seat reservation. So I looked for my seat in the carriage. Some passengers came towards me and it was a bit cramped with my two bags. Nevertheless, I found the right compartment a few moments later and was able to sit down. The compartment was still empty and so I had enough space to stow my bags. The train started up again and I looked at the clock. Only fifteen minutes later than planned. That still gave hope.
With the tablet, I had just surfed the Internet for a few minutes and arrived at Mick and Lukas' favorite site. It was called Nickstories and I had already read one or two stories there. I was always amazed at how hard some boys apparently had it with their homosexuality in their families. Or the other way around, I always realized there how good I had it with my parents and friends. I had only experienced with Benny, a friend of Mick and Lukas, how bad it could be for someone. Otherwise, everyone I knew had always been accepted for their homosexuality.
While reading a story, I didn't even notice that the conductor had entered the compartment. I was a little startled when he gently nudged me.
“Oh, sorry! I was so absorbed in the story.”
“Hello, young man. That's all right. Just show me your ticket and you can continue reading.”
The conductor was very nice again and smiled at me kindly. I gave him my ticket and he just nodded, handed it back to me and explained that we would continue to Munich without stopping.
“Will we be able to make up for our delay, or will our arrival be even further delayed?”
He looked at his watch and said:
“I think we'll be a few minutes late, but do you have a connecting train to catch?”
“No, but I'll be picked up at Munich station and then I could say I'm arriving late there.”
“If our journey is delayed any further, I'll let you know, but I suspect it will be another quarter of an hour.”
“Thank you very much.”
The conductor left my compartment and I went back to my reading. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to concentrate on the text. My nervousness was growing. After all, it was my first trip alone and the first extended stay without parents or a school class. Besides, Munich was a big city that I didn't know. Hopefully everything would go smoothly.
I called Mr. Geiger again to give him my new arrival time. The receptionist promised to pass it on to Mr. Geiger. After that, I felt a distinct hunger in my stomach. However, I couldn't keep Mr. Geiger waiting because of that.
The train stopped at Munich Central Station and I was standing on the platform. No sign of Mr. Geiger. I put my bags to one side and was about to wait for Mr. Geiger when I suddenly heard my name.
“Hello, are you Lucien Maergener?”
I turned around and looked into the face of a young man. I guessed him to be Mick's age, so around twenty.
“Hello, yes, that's me. And who are you?”
He smiled at me, held out his hand and said:
“Hi, I'm Mario Langen. My boss asked me to pick you up. And just so you know, at our company only the bosses are addressed as 'Sie'. You have to remember that.”
I was taken aback, but I thought it was very practical. Mario helped me carry my bags and a few minutes later we were sitting in a truck. An American pick-up, of course, what else? I would have been afraid to drive through Munich city traffic in such a vehicle, but Mario had it well under control.
“May I ask how long you've been at Geiger? You don't seem old enough to be working here.”
Mario looked at me sideways and laughed.
“It's okay, I'm in my third year of training to become a car mechatronics technician. By the way, I'm nineteen, how old are you? You look pretty young for an intern. And then you came all the way from Switzerland to Munich?”
There we had the problem again. I was always mistaken for a little boy.
“Well, I'm fifteen and my father knows your boss quite well. That's how this came about. I'm just interested in anything that moves and is fast.”
Mario laughed briefly and was also a little taken aback.
“Sorry for misjudging you, but I would have guessed you to be thirteen at most. By the way, we'll be there in a minute.”
Now I was really getting nervous. How would the other employees react to me? Mario noticed my uncertainty and explained that his boss was probably looking forward to meeting me. That made my insecurity even greater because I felt that I was under a lot of pressure from the expectations of others. We turned into the car dealership's large parking lot. I actually remembered some things from our last visit quite well. Mario took my bags out of the car and accompanied me to the reception. There he spoke to the young lady, who immediately picked up the phone. Mario turned to me:
“So, Lucien. I have to go back to the workshop. I assume that we will meet again there tomorrow at the latest. Ms. Geiger will take you in shortly. She will explain everything else to you.”
“Thank you for your help. I hope we can manage together here.”
I shook his hand and he nodded kindly. That made me feel good. Suddenly the reception hall came to life. Ms. Geiger had come out of her office and was coming towards me. She laughed and started to greet me from ten meters away. When she stood in front of me, she shook my hand and explained the next steps to me.
“Hello Lucien. I hope your train journey wasn't too stressful. Karl had told me that you had problems with the ICE. It's always the same story. The train is the best example of unreliability. Say, where is your luggage?”
I pointed to the two large travel bags on the reception counter and she laughed loudly.
“My goodness, what have you packed? Are you planning on staying a while?”
I was a little embarrassed and just shrugged. She went to the reception and asked for her husband. She turned to me and we walked briskly to the elevator. There she asked me about my family and how everyone was doing. She really took away some of my fear of the situation. I immediately felt much more comfortable.
The doors opened and a few moments later we were standing in front of Mr. Geiger's office. She opened the door and Mr. Geiger was sitting at his desk. He looked up and immediately started laughing.
“Hello Luc, I'm glad you found your way to us. How are you? Are you very tired? Or can we take another tour?”
“Hello Mr. Geiger,...”
I didn't get a chance to continue because he interrupted me.
“Stop, Luc, we were already on a first-name basis back then. I'd like to keep it that way. I want you to feel at home here. I promised your father I'd take care of you. So welcome to the Geiger family.”
He gave me a warm hug. It was great to feel my fear give way to a sense of calm. My impression at the time was confirmed. It was an atmosphere like that of a large family. I liked that very much.
“All right, Karl. Since you asked me, we can take a tour, but I'm a little hungry. The restaurant wasn't open on the train.”
Karl looked at me, shaking his head, and then said,
“Well, it's half past six in the evening now. Most of the people in the workshop have already finished work anyway. I suggest you go and get something to eat with Mario first. Then you can come back and we'll take a look at everything here in peace.”
“Don't you think Mario has something else in mind besides taking care of me?”
“He's on late shift in the workshop today. So he'll be working until eight anyway. It'll be fine. Besides, I have a distinct advantage. I'm the boss here. So I can just have it done.”
He grinned from ear to ear, and his wife tried to rein him in a little, because she was worried I would feel totally insecure. Then she mentioned that I would be staying at their house for the next three weeks. So Dad was right after all when he told me this. I didn't really want to believe it.
A few minutes later, I was sitting in the pick-up with Mario again. Mario was really very nice, and he also told me something about his family. He had a younger brother, so I told him about my family as well. However, I didn't want to mention that my father was a famous race car driver. I just wanted to be seen as a normal intern. Mario then said:
“What do you think of a good American burger? I would call that authentic.”
We both laughed, and a short time later we were both on our way to the table with a tray full of burgers and fries. During the meal, Mario told me more about the company and the work. He liked being there and felt that the boss took great care of his employees. He also told me about a vehicle conversion that had taken place some time ago. A famous racing driver had had his Ford GT converted and he had regretted very much at the time that he was not there when the vehicle was handed over.
Something clicked in my head. It would certainly not have been wise to explain to him that this car was in our garage. So I kept quiet about it and asked instead:
“Are you a motorsport fan?”
What followed was clear. He gave me a monologue about the current Formula 1 and how much he would like to be able to attend a Grand Prix. However, his apprentice salary would simply not be enough for that. But his goal was to go there once after his apprenticeship.
I also told him about my preference for fast cars and that unfortunately I was not allowed to drive in Switzerland at the age of seventeen. We talked about his work and so I got a very good impression of what to expect for the next three weeks. However, one question still interested me:
“Mario, how can you actually afford such a big pick-up? It must need a lot of fuel and certainly costs a lot of money.”
He laughed and replied:
“No, Lucien, it's customary here at Geiger for every employee who makes a business trip to be allowed to use a company car. Unfortunately, it's not my vehicle. I drive an old Jeep Wrangler privately. I bought it myself and I'm also allowed to repair it here. So I save a lot of money. By the way, this pickup has a gas system installed. This makes it significantly cheaper to maintain.”
“That's great. I don't take it for granted that the apprentices are allowed to drive the expensive cars here. Karl seems like a really cool guy.”
Now he looked a bit surprised.
“Don't just call the boss Karl, he's only allowed his closest employees to do that. Otherwise you'll really get into trouble.”
I was taken aback and then explained to him that I had the boss's express permission to do so. That, in turn, led to incredulous amazement. He seemed to suspect that I was not a normal intern.
“Mario, I think I should be honest with you, but you have to promise to keep this to yourself. I've known Karl for almost two years through my dad. My dad had the Ford GT you were talking about earlier converted here. And that's how I got the internship here. My dad is Marc Steevens.”
“Excuse me?”
He was completely shocked.
“That's your father? I don't believe it. Wow, that's crazy.”
“Please, Mario, keep this to yourself. Do you promise me that? I don't just want to be the son of Marc Steevens. I want to be recognized here as an intern.”
He nodded silently and promised to keep it to himself. We drove back to the dealership a few minutes later. Not much was going on there anymore and it was almost closing time. Ms. Geiger, who I was also allowed to call Barbara, was already waiting for me.
“Hello you two. Did you get along well with each other?” Mario, I'm supposed to tell you from my husband, you can finish work, but you would like to take the Corvette Stingray with you and take it to the TÜV in the morning. The papers are at the vehicle delivery. The owner would like to pick them up tomorrow at noon.”
“Yes, boss. I'll do that then. And sure, we got along well. I think Lucien will fit in well with us. I'll say goodbye then until tomorrow. Ciao Lucien.”
I shook his hand and he disappeared in the direction of the vehicle delivery. Barbara said to me:
“So, Luc, now it's off to our place first. I'll show you where you'll be living for the next three weeks. I'll also explain to you the best way to get to the company in the morning.”
“That's very nice, but where did my bags go?”
She laughed and gestured for me to just follow her. We then got into a large American limousine and my bags had already disappeared into the trunk. The ride took about half an hour through the city. Then we were standing in front of a very beautiful property just outside of Munich. Respect, I thought to myself. That was quite a property.
“This is your home for the next three weeks. I hope you will like it with us.”
“I think so and I hope I can do it the way it is expected.”
“Oh, sure. If you have any questions, just ask us. We are all nice people in our company. You are a nice boy too, so it will work out. Don't worry so much. Karl will take care of you. He promised Marc after all. Come on, let's go inside.”
We took the bags out of the trunk and a few minutes later I was standing in a great room with its own bathroom and direct access to the garden. A really great guest room. Barbara showed me everything and explained that I also had a WiFi connection there and my own landline number. So actually almost the same as at my place. The following tour of the house showed me that Karl and Barbara had great taste and had probably also achieved a certain level of prosperity. The kitchen was a dream, modern yet cozy. She noticed my astonishment.
“Well, Luc, do you like the kitchen?”
“Yes, absolutely. Simply beautiful.”
“Do you only use the kitchen for eating or do you ever cook yourself?”
“Yes, I like to cook myself, but mom and dad are certainly better cooks. But I enjoy trying something myself.”
“I think that's really great. If you feel like it, just let me know. You are welcome to use the kitchen. I'll show you everything.”
“Cool, thanks. I'll do that.”
After that, I set up my room for the next three weeks. I should orient myself first and if I had any questions, she would be in the living room. I put my things in the closet and put my tablet on the table. After I had settled in, I called home.
“Steevens.”
“Hello Dad, I just wanted to let you know that I arrived safely and that everything is fine.”
“Luc, it's great that you're calling. Your mother was getting impatient. How are you getting on? Are Barbara and Karl all right?”
“Absolutely. I think I'm going to have a lot of fun here. I've already met another nice trainee. I'll see how it goes from tomorrow. How are you? How's Leif?”
“Everything's fine here. Leif has already asked about you. As if you had already contacted him. He's with Nico right now, but I'm supposed to give you his warmest regards. Do you still want to talk to mom?”
“Yes, if she's around.”
Of course she was around. I knew she was just waiting for that.
“Hello my darling, is everything all right with you? Why are you calling so late? I was already worried.”
“Hello Mama, there was still a lot to do here and I didn't have time to call yet. I did write in the text message that I would get in touch later.”
“Yes, yes, but you know how worried I always am. You also have to show some consideration for your mother.”
We both laughed. At that moment, I sensed that I really was several hundred kilometers from home and on my own. My stomach rumbled a little.
“It'll be fine, Mom. Karl and Barbara will take care of me. Anyway, I'm looking forward to this time here.”
“Well, that's good and I can go to sleep peacefully tonight. And take good care of yourself, Munich is a big city. Make sure you get good directions for how to get to work tomorrow.”
“Yes, Mom, I'll be fine. I'll call you tomorrow evening when I get home from work.”
“All right, son. Then I wish you a good start and see you tomorrow.”
I put the cell phone aside and looked out into the garden. It was already dark and I could see the city lights. I went to Barbara in the living room.
“Hello Luc, have you set up everything so far?”
“Yes, thank you, I should greet you nicely from mom and dad.”
“That's nice, thank you. I would like to explain to you how the route to the company will work tomorrow. Please come and sit on the sofa with me. I can show you on the map.”
She had a small tablet with the S-Bahn timetable on it. She explained the route to me on it. I only had to take one train and not change lines. That shouldn't be a problem for me as a stranger to the area. Finally, she gave me a network ticket. With that, I could travel on all lines of the S-Bahn and buses. It was valid for four weeks. When I asked how much I would have to pay for it, she just shook her head.
“That would be even better, of course you get it from us. If it fits in with your schedule, you can of course also ride with Karl and me, but most of the time we stay longer and are there earlier.”
I thanked him and went back to my room, took another shower and then lay down. Tomorrow at half past six the night was over. I was very excited and couldn't really fall asleep. So I took my tablet and read a little more of my story until I fell asleep at some point.
The next morning did turn into a bit of an adventure, though. I hadn't thought at all about what to wear. I decided on a sweatshirt and jeans. After a small breakfast, I made my way to the S-Bahn stop. I had to walk through a small park to get there. It was still dark, so I could only see the illuminated paths. I knew where to get on and off. However, I had not asked about the walking route from the stop to the company. But I only realized this when I was already sitting in the S-Bahn. Now I was overcome by a little fear. I didn't want to be late for my first day at work. The announcement came that my stop would be next. I got up from my seat and went to the exit, the door opened and I was standing at the stop with no idea which way to go. Suddenly I heard a familiar voice.
“Hi Lucien, are you excited?”
“Mario, where did you come from? Didn't you have to go to the MOT? And how did you know I was arriving here?”
“Well, because the boss said you didn't know the way and that I should pick you up and then take you to the MOT.”
“Cool, I think your boss is really great. To even think of something like that.”
Mario laughed and so we walked to the company together. I memorized the way and it should work out fine tomorrow without any problems. Mario and I talked a little bit about work and colleagues. He really raved about his work. I could feel that he felt comfortable. When we were standing in front of the company, we parted. He sent me to the boss's office first. So I should probably go there first too. I knocked on the door and heard:
“Come in”
I entered her office and she smiled at me and greeted me warmly.
“Good morning Lucien, I see Mario has guided you here well. First of all, we'll go and get you dressed. You need to get work clothes.”
I quickly sensed that Barbara was just as dynamic as Karl. She didn't waste any time thinking about things, she just did them. Half an hour later, I had three complete sets of company clothing. A jumpsuit, safety shoes, gloves, T-shirts and polo shirts. All with the company logo on them. She showed me the changing rooms and when I stood in front of the mirror in my overalls for a few minutes, I was a little amazed. My name was embroidered on the top. I hadn't expected that at all. It was a good feeling to be welcomed like this. When I came out of the changing room, she took me straight to the workshop. One of the foremen received me.
“Hello, you're Lucien? I'm Dieter Rotter, the Dieter. I'm responsible for you this week.”
I shook his hand and then we went through the workshop. He explained all the areas to me and introduced me to the other employees. What struck me was that everyone was very friendly and in a good mood. Finally, we came to the parts warehouse. It was an entire hall filled only with spare parts. That impressed me a lot. When he had shown me everything, he took me to lifting platform five. Mario was already working on a Chevrolet there. I was supposed to help him with his work.
“Mario, I've brought you reinforcements. Would you like to give Lucien a little work to do and see what he can do?”
Mario looked at his master and smiled.
“Sure, Dieter, I'll take him on and see if he's any use.”
I had no idea whether he was serious or not, and I felt very uncomfortable. The master, on the other hand, just patted Mario on the shoulder and said,
“It'll be fine, you'll manage.”
Then he just walked away, and I stood there on the side of the stage, not knowing what to do. Mario, on the other hand, had clear ideas and began to involve me directly in the work. He asked me what I had experience with. I told him about the things I had done with Dad. He was even a little amazed. Then he said:
“Great, then take the air wrench and start disassembling all four wheels. We'll need to rebuild the brakes in a bit. Please put the wheels over there.”
“Okay, I'll do that.”
I put on my work gloves and took the air wrench. I looked at the device and quickly realized where I could switch from left to right. Then I started on the first nut and off I went. Within a few minutes, I had put all the wheels in the desired place and looked at the brakes.
“Do we just have to change the pads or the discs as well?”
Mario seemed a little surprised by the specific question, because he said:
“Take a look at the order. It's on the tool trolley.”
I took the paper and read: “Repair brakes”. So I looked at all four brake discs and their pads. In my opinion, the rear brake discs were still OK. However, the front brake discs had deep grooves and should be replaced. I was a little surprised at the poor condition of the system. The car was an expensive SUV with a lot of power. The owner didn't seem to take maintenance very seriously.
“Mario, I would also replace the front discs and only the pads at the back.”
Now I had completely confused him. He came out from under the car and looked at me somewhat aghast. He looked at all four discs and then he had to agree with me.
“Ok, Lucien, but you have to explain that to me right away. How can you immediately see that the front brake needs to be done completely? First, please go to the warehouse and get the parts for it. Please take the order with you so that Andy can find the right things for you.”
I took the order sheet and marched off. In the warehouse, I reported to Andy, who immediately took the sheet from me and then asked:
“So, what do you need for the Escalade?”
“We need brake pads for all four wheels and new front discs.”
He typed that into his computer and then said:
“Please wait a moment. I'll get you the parts.”
A few moments later, I had a whole stack of boxes of parts in my arms and marched back again. I put the rather heavy parts on the workbench and Mario took a look at them.
“Tell me, this isn't your first time in a workshop. Here, apprentices often don't have an eye for a broken brake disc, even in their second year of training. You look at it once and immediately know what's wrong.”
I felt a little embarrassed and didn't know how to answer him.
“Well, my father also has a few classic cars in his garage and we often work on them together.”
I didn't want to say that he had his own workshop with two students. I didn't want to brag about it, because I wanted to learn something here and get an idea of the job.
“Cool, can I ask what kind of classic cars? The GT is not an oldie. We also have great American classic cars here from time to time. From Mustangs to Cadillacs and everything that was on the road in the sixties and seventies.”
“Well, my dad has an old Cadillac Eldorado from '59 and a Shelby Cobra. The Caddy has been completely overhauled and has a big block. The Cobra is a monster with almost 800 hp. So there are a few rarities here.”
“Wow, I hope your dad comes by with it sometime. Maybe he'll visit you here sometime.”
I had to laugh because I couldn't really imagine him making the long drive just to visit me here. His schedule was always pretty full for that.
So we started replacing the brake system and Mario really showed me a lot. He also let me do one or two things myself. He only let me step on the brake pedal when checking and bleeding the brakes. The subject of brakes was too sensitive for that. But I fully understood. After all, it was a customer vehicle. After three hours, we had finished the work on the Escalade and Mario drove the car to the area where customers could pick up their vehicles.
I felt a little uncomfortable because I didn't know what to do for a few minutes. Mario had to take the car away and I had no idea what was coming next. But this situation was quickly resolved because Mario came back with a Corvette C2 Stingray. A dream of a car, in silver gray and with a split rear window. So one of the first models. The floor of the hall shook from the eight-cylinder engine, Mario turned off the engine and I had a brief moment to be able to see this special car. Mario was already reading the order sheet, and he asked me to raise the lifting platform.
“How does that work? I don't want to damage this work of art.”
Mario looked up and laughed.
“Right, you've never done this before. Sorry, my mistake. It's a good thing you asked before you just did it. Wait, I'll show you.”
He showed me how to get the beams of the stage under the car and how to properly lift such a vehicle. After all, we were talking about a six-figure sum here. The job consisted of an inspection and a look at the transmission. The owner had mentioned unpleasant scratching noises. This model had a four-speed transmission. That too was quite rare for American cars. The majority had an automatic transmission.
The car was now about twenty centimeters off the ground and Mario opened the hood. He looked inside and said to me,
“Can you start the engine and hold it at about 2,000 revolutions?”
I was now getting a little nervous. He seemed to have great confidence in my abilities. So I got in, stepped on the clutch and paused. I needed a lot of strength to push the pedal down. Then I turned the key and the engine started immediately with a thunderous rumble.
Mario then shouted loudly from the front:
“Put it in first gear.”
I did as I was asked.
“Second gear, but don't accelerate.”
This continued until we were in fourth gear. Then suddenly I heard the noise, or at least I could clearly hear it in the interior.
“Ok, you can turn it off.”
Again, silence. I was still sitting in the driver's seat, impressed by this monster, when Mario appeared at the driver's door.
“Strange, I didn't hear anything unusual. It's all clean for me.”
I must have looked very astonished at him, because he immediately asked:
“What is it? Did you hear something? Or did you notice something?”
“Well, I have no idea what an old transmission like that should sound like, but I heard a distinct scratching sound in fourth gear and I felt it, too. The transmission was running much more unevenly than in the other gears.”
Now he was completely shocked. He shook his head and said only:
“Wait here, please, I'll go and get the boss. He should also listen to this.”
I felt a little uncomfortable about this, because he was the expert and I was the intern, but I was sure that there was another noise. A short time later, I could already hear Karl discussing with Mario. Then Karl came to my door.
“So, Luc, please start the engine again.”
I started the engine again and it happened the same way as before. When I put it in fourth gear, I could feel it again. It was different than in the other gears. Karl immediately grimaced. He gestured for me to turn off the engine.
“Mario,” Karl said immediately, ”the boy is right. The noises are there. Well, I think it's the synchronizer rings. It has to be done. So take out the transmission and open it.”
“Okay, boss, I didn't hear anything. But then Luc must have a good sense.”
Karl Geiger looked at me approvingly and said,
“You must have inherited your talent from your dad.”
“Well, I don't think it's inherited. Marc is not my biological father. But I enjoy cars and technology. Besides, it really didn't sound good.”
Karl just laughed and went back to the office. Mario and I stayed behind and looked at the clock. It was already lunchtime.
“Do you have anything to eat with you or should we go next door for a gyro?”
“Well, gyros is always my thing. How long is our lunch break?”
“45 minutes. So there's plenty of time for that.”
Great, I thought to myself. A gyros shop here in the neighborhood. That took care of my lunch. I had sandwiches with me for today, but I would eat them in the evening or in between. We took off our gloves and went to wash our hands together. The lunch break was very entertaining because, of course, we also met other Geiger employees there. As a newcomer, I was a welcome topic and was asked quite a few questions. On the way back to the company, I learned that Mario had also done his internship here, how I am now and how he later applied for the apprenticeship. He also told me about his younger brother and that he was a little worried. He had some problems at school and, in his opinion, his parents were no longer able to show the boy limits. Mario planned to find his own apartment as soon as he had finished his training.
“How old is your brother?”
“He just turned fourteen and is already hanging around all over town. The other day the police brought him home. It was really embarrassing.”
“Why, what happened?”
“Well, he was picked up in the park at three in the morning again. Besides, he had had a lot to drink.”
I couldn't really imagine being out and about alone at three in the morning, let alone in a park. Somehow I seemed to come from a different world.
“Do you get along with your brother? Or have you given up on him already?”
“No, actually I like him very much. It also hurts me when he has messed around with older guys. I blame our father for that. He doesn't really take care of us anymore. He is often drunk and sometimes he also hits the little ones. At least that's what I think. I haven't seen it yet, because then I would really make a fuss.”
These were significant problems and I had memories of Benny. Those were very bad weeks back then. I had decided to offer help to any boy who was abused at home. My dad had told me again and again that it was important to look and pay attention to these children.
The afternoon was very exciting and by the end of work we had removed the gearbox and Karl had been right. The gearbox was badly damaged. During a joint inspection, Karl decided to call the customer and suggest an overhaul of the gearbox. Tomorrow we would know what to do with this vehicle. I said goodbye to Mario and went to Barbara's office.
“Hello Luc, how was your first day? Did you have a little fun?”
“Yes, I learned a lot from Mario. He even let me do a few things. I wanted to ask now how it will continue today.”
“Oh yes, here is a key to our house. You can go home now and have the rest of the day off. Karl and I won't be home before nine. You know your way around our place, and if anything should happen, just give me a call. Don't forget to call home sometime.”
She winked at me and I said goodbye to her and took the S-Bahn home. It had become quite dark by now and I had to walk through the small park again to get to the Geigers' house. There were some young people sitting on the benches who didn't look very pleasant to me. Beer cans were lying on the ground and I tried to get through the park without getting too close to them. On another park bench, however, sat a boy who seemed to be smoking and waiting for someone. I was overcome with strange feelings. I definitely wanted to check at home to see if there was another route for me. I didn't feel entirely comfortable in this park. When I arrived home, I first treated myself to a hot shower, had a snack and lay down for a while. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up a little later, it was already dark. The clock said half past six. Not too late yet, I took my cell phone and called my parents.
“Steevens,” my dad answered.
“Hello Dad, this is Luc. I just wanted to say that I made it through my first day.”
“Hello Luc, it's great that you're calling. Your mother has already asked if you had called. How was your first day in Munich?”
“It was very exciting, I worked with a trainee for the day. I think my knowledge is not too bad at all. Anyway, Mario was quite surprised that I already knew a few things.”
“Great, and are you really tired now? Or are you still okay?”
“No, I'm fine so far. Sure, I'm tired, but I'm fine. I hope it stays that way, because today was really fun. By the way, I'm supposed to give you Karl's best regards.”
Of course, my mom also wanted to talk to me, and I'll spare you the details. It would be too embarrassing for me. Typical mother, if it were up to her, I would still be the little boy who can't do anything on his own. In that sense, it was also an exciting adventure for me to be here in Munich without my parents. So far, I didn't miss them. However, I did miss my friends. Somehow I was alone now after all. I decided to read a little more and listen to music.
I always found the stories on Nickstories interesting. If you're wondering why I find stories about homosexuality so exciting, I don't know. In any case, they were well written and my big brothers were gay. I still wasn't sure what I wanted myself. I didn't feel ready for a relationship at all, and the topic of puberty hadn't become a problem for me yet. I could always talk to someone if I had questions. So far, my own hand had always been enough for me when I felt like it. There were no taboos on this subject in our home. My dad had reacted quite relaxed when he had surprised me doing it. I was totally embarrassed, but he made me feel normal and that's exactly how it was for me by now.
The next few days were very exhausting for me. There was always a lot to do, but I liked that very much. I was allowed to work on the cars a lot myself. Of course, always under the guidance of an experienced employee. Mario was no longer in the company from Wednesday, he had a training course and so I was assigned to another employee. However, during the morning, Karl came by and asked about me. We talked for a few minutes about work and how I liked it. He took time for me, which had also been noticed by the master. Anyway, Karl then came up with a topic that I had not yet expected.
“So, Luc, today we will both spend the rest of the day. I'll take you for a test drive in our gravel pit. There we test our SUV or Hummer.”
I looked at him in astonishment, but inside I was very happy. I liked Karl and he seemed to like me too. For him, this internship actually meant more work, and the fact that I was also living with him didn't make it any easier for him. However, he hadn't been annoyed about it for a moment. On the contrary, he seemed to like it.
We were on our way to a nearby gravel pit with three cars and four people. I sat next to Karl in a Hummer H1 that belonged to him. The other vehicles were customer vehicles, all of which had been converted. Two Hummer H3s and a Ford pick-up. None of the cars had less than 400 horsepower. Karl and his employees organized these trips to the gravel pit so that customers could be sure that their vehicles were fully off-road capable. But the cars were pushed to their limits. If they could withstand that, nothing should be able to destroy them. We drove up and down steep slopes, diagonally, up, down and through water holes. The cars looked like pigs, but everyone had fun. I actually did too, but some of the maneuvers almost made me sick. Karl also had a lot of fun and only after an hour did everyone gather in the large square. They got out of their vehicles and then the chassis and attachments were checked.
I stood a little way off with Karl as he explained these processes to me in detail. What always amazed me was that he could explain off the cuff what had been done to which car.
“Tell me, Luc, have you ever driven yourself or hasn't Marc let you drive yet?”
Laughing, I said:
“No, I only drove a go-kart a little. I've never been allowed to drive a real car myself. My mother would probably die of a heart attack if I just drove a car.”
“Why would that be? I don't mean in traffic, but on a closed-off track.”
I shook my head and looked at his Hummer closely. Karl noticed my interest and explained to me in great detail what had been rebuilt. Then René, one of the other mechanics, came to us and said that there was a problem with the other Hummer. Karl went off with him immediately and I preferred to stay with Karl's Hummer. However, I had come up with this idea without the boss. He turned around after a few meters and said,
“What is it? Come on, you should learn something too.”
Everyone else laughed at the comment, but I felt totally uncomfortable. Anyway, I followed the others to the Hummer H3 and looked at the device. I didn't particularly like these huge vehicles. Something else was nice for me. Karl and René were under the car, discussing the problem. It seemed to be a major problem. They decided to have the car towed. Karl called the company and ordered the tow. I suspected that our trip was over. Not at all, Karl wanted to continue with the other cars. René stayed behind and we went back to our vehicle. Just before we could get in, Karl gave me his key and said:
“So, you're driving now and I'll tell you what to do.”
“Excuse me? I'm supposed to drive? With this ship? Karl, I've never done that before.”
“Don't worry, it'll work. Come on, get in. I'll explain it to you.”
The next half hour was very exciting and Karl was right. It actually worked quite well, I tried to do it exactly as he said. However, it was also very exhausting for me. I had no experience and was much too tense. At some point my arms hurt. Driving off-road was simply exhausting.
At least the cars lasted longer than I did. But Karl was a little impressed.
“Great Luc, you did really well. You've got talent. We'll go home now, we've tried enough.”
He laughed as he said it. We swapped seats and drove back towards the company. We talked on the way.
“I have a question. When I drive to work, I have to go through a small park. I've always seen some strange characters there. Is there another way to the bus stop?”
“Oh, the park. No, you have to go through it, but I've never heard of anything happening there. So I guess they won't hurt you.”
That wasn't very reassuring, but what could I do?
The afternoon passed very quickly and so another interesting day at work came to an end. I took the S-Bahn home as usual and looked forward to a shower. The route through the park was still ahead of me, so I didn't panic and went through. This time, only the younger boy was back on the bench in question. I guessed him to be about fourteen, so my age. He was playing with his cell phone. I was a little surprised. It wasn't particularly warm anymore and he was only wearing a thin windbreaker. So I walked through the park and noticed that he was watching me. He seemed to have recognized me, because he now came up to me and addressed me:
“Hey, do you have a light for me?”
At first I wanted to keep walking, but he seemed like a decent guy, so I answered him:
“Sorry, but I don't smoke.”
“Too bad, but it's actually better that way. I'd like to quit too, but I can't do without it anymore.”
“Why? Just quit, or are you already addicted to the stuff?”
It was actually meant as a casual comment, but he reacted very dejectedly.
“I'm afraid so, but what the heck. It doesn't matter anyway.”
“Huh, why would you say something like that? You're still young, maybe the same age as me. You still have a lot ahead of you. Don't your parents say anything about it?”
“Parents? Oh, stop it, they only care about themselves. But why am I telling you all this? Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you.”
He turned around and started to walk away. I held on to his arm.
“Stop it, you're not bothering me. I want to know more about it. Do you have any plans?”
He turned around, and I could see that his eyes looked very sad.
“Do you want to hang out with me, a truant and a failure? You live in that mansion over there, so you probably have completely different friends.”
I was shocked! What did that have to do with it?
“Nonsense, I'm only here for three weeks on a visit. I'm actually from Switzerland. So, tell me, do you have time? We can go and get a coffee over there.”
“Are you serious? You'd just have a coffee with me? We don't even know each other yet.”
“My name is Lucien Maergener, I'm fifteen and I'm doing an internship here in Munich. I usually live with my family in Switzerland.”
I didn't want to say yet that I actually belonged to the Steevens family.
I had sat down on the bench with him in the meantime, but I really felt uncomfortable and wanted to go inside. He told me that he was only fourteen and his name was Stefan. But he offered me the opportunity to call him Stef.
“Stef, I think you're nice and I don't think it would be wrong for me to have a coffee with you.”
“Come on, Stef, let's go and warm up first, and you come with me.”
His eyes got bigger and bigger. It seemed to be a completely new and unknown situation for him.
“Ok, but I don't want to be any trouble. However, I also think you're nice. I haven't met many nice boys like you before.”
Within the next five minutes we arrived at the café.
“Tea, cocoa or would you like coffee?”
He looked at me and said quietly:
“Chocolate, a hot chocolate would be really nice.”
I went straight to the counter to place our order. I put the cups on a tray and added two pieces of bee sting cake, paid for everything and went back to our table, where Stef had already taken off his jacket. I put the things on the table in front of him.
We sat at the table in silence for a moment before I broke the silence.
“Where do you actually go to school? And what grade are you in?”
“Actually, I'm in the eighth grade at a secondary school in the north of Munich. And you?”
“At a grammar school. I live in the village with my family. I'm already in the ninth grade. That's why I'm doing the internship here.”
He looked at me enviously.
“You can just live here with strangers? That must be cool.”
“I've known Karl Geiger for a long time through my father. We were here in Munich a while ago and visited his workshop.”
“Excuse me? This is the house of Karl Geiger, the car nut? And you're doing an internship there? Awesome!”
“Yes, that's right. You know Karl?”
“Well, who doesn't know him around here? He's almost a legend here in Munich. Unfortunately, I've never had the chance to meet him.”
We talked for a while. However, I didn't learn much more about his family. Just that his father drank a lot and wasn't very sociable. After an hour, Stef got a little restless and we said goodbye.
“I hope we meet again. Are you often in the park?”
“Well, yes, I'll be here again for sure. Maybe we'll meet again. I'd be very happy.”
We put our things back and put our jackets on. He thanked us profusely for the invitation, and when we were standing in front of the door, he gave me a hug goodbye.
“Thank you Lucien, it was nice talking to you. Maybe we'll see each other again. I hope so, anyway.”
“Gladly, just come and see me when you're back in town. I'm usually at home in the evenings from six.”
He turned around and we parted. I became pensive. How well was I doing, actually? I had a wonderful family, great friends and I lacked nothing. Stefan was probably not so lucky, that made me sad.
I now made my way home. There my first act was to take a shower. After I had freshened up, I phoned my parents and this time also Leif. He asked me how I was doing and what I would do that evening. Of course, he also brought up the topic of “nightlife”. Typically, he was always looking to flirt with the girls. However, in my opinion, it was often just for show. Leif had never been really serious about a relationship.
That evening, I fell asleep very thoughtfully. The meeting with Stef had occupied me much more than I had thought.
The following day passed without any special incidents. I had a lot to do and also to learn. All the activities were new to me. Sometimes I had the thought that my questions would get on everyone's nerves here, but I always got a good answer and it was explained to me that it was better to ask once too often than to break something. It was only when I went home at around half past five that I had the opportunity to think about the weekend.
The end of the first week was approaching and I had to decide whether to go home or stay in Munich. I had actually planned to go back from Friday lunchtime to Sunday evening and I was of course looking forward to seeing my family, but it was also very exhausting to travel back and forth. That evening, I had made my decision. I wanted to go home that weekend, but stay here the following weekend instead. The Geigers agreed that I should stay in Munich the following weekend. I called my parents.
“Hello Dad, how are you? I wanted to discuss with you when I'll arrive on Friday evening.”
“Hello, big tinkerer. I hope you've survived the first week well so far.”
We both had to laugh at the term “tinkerer”. Typical of my dad. Always a casual saying in store.
“Yes, everything is going really well here. I'm shown a lot and it's great fun. However, Karl also helps a lot. Somehow we have to think about how I could thank him for his help.”
“I'm glad you like it so much. So let's talk about it this weekend. I'm sure we'll think of something. When are you arriving here?”
“Well, Dad, the thing is, if I take the train home, it'll be very late. I'd have to wait in Geneva for more than an hour. But I'd be in Geneva at half past five. Couldn't you pick me up in Geneva?”
“Well, that shouldn't be a big problem, but I have an even better idea. Why don't you take a plane? You can fly directly from Munich to Geneva and we'll pick you up at the airport.”
“I hadn't thought of that. But how do I do the booking and payment? I've never done that before.”
“No problem. You just look for a suitable flight on the internet, give me the details and I'll take care of everything else.”
“Great, I'll start looking right away and call you as soon as I've found a suitable flight.”
“That sounds reasonable. By the way, Tommy and Nico send their best regards. They have already asked about you and whether you are doing well. Nico is also very happy with his internship.”
“Oh yes, thank you, greetings back. I'll get back to you in a moment. Bye.”
With that, I ended the call and went straight to the search for a flight connection. There were, of course, many offers and portals. I didn't really know how to do it, so I just looked for times. There were actually only two connections that came into question. One already at noon and one in the evening. So I called Karl and wanted to ask him if I could leave work late on Friday morning. Unfortunately, Karl was in a meeting with a customer at the moment, so I ended up with Barbara.
“Hello Luc, what's on your mind? Is everything all right with you?”
I explained the situation to her and she was very direct in her response.
“Of course you can take the earlier flight, you're staying with us the other weekend after all. You can certainly still help out on Saturday. So that's fine, I'll just decide that now.”
“Great, thank you. I'll sort it out with Dad so he can book the flight.”
“Yes, do it like that. See you later then. By the way, we want to go out for dinner tonight. So don't make yourself too much to eat. I think we'll be home in about an hour to pick you up.”
I thought it was a great gesture from both of them. They were taking me out to dinner. I was very happy about that and promised to be ready on time. With that, I said goodbye to her. A few moments later, I rang the doorbell again at my house.
“Steevens.”
Once again, Dad was faster than Mom on the phone.
“Hi, Dad. It's me again. I've looked up a flight and already spoken to Barbara. So I'm leaving here at a quarter to twelve and will land in Geneva just before one. On Sunday, I'll be leaving for Munich at half past nine in the evening. Can you take care of the booking?”
“Hello Luc, I have noted it down and will book and pay for it right away, you will then get the tickets at the check-in desk. I will send you the booking and payment confirmation by email. You just have to print them out and take them with you. Please check with Karl to see if he can pick you up from the airport on Sunday. Your mother doesn't want you to be alone in Munich at night.”
“Cool Dad, thanks. I could also take a taxi from the airport to my house on Sunday, right?”
Dad had to laugh when he heard that.
“Son, I know you could take a taxi by yourself and arrive safely. But you know your mother. She just thinks it's too dangerous. Please ask Karl and if Karl doesn't have time, then of course you'll take the taxi. Just to reassure your mother, you should ask Karl.”
I was annoyed. My mother still thought of me as a little dependent boy. But arguing was pointless anyway.
“Ok, ok, fine. I'll do it like the boss orders.”
Dad liked this answer audibly.
“Good boy, you know that mothers always want to know everything, but they don't have to know everything. We'll take care of it.”
With this saying, we said goodbye, laughing. That was when I started thinking about what to wear tonight. I had no idea where Karl wanted to go for dinner. I opted for dark jeans, a light polo shirt with a sweater over it.
It wasn't long before I heard the big eight-cylinder engine. A moment later, the front door opened and Karl and Barbara entered the house. Barbara was the first to be heard, as always.
“Lucien? Where are you? Will you please come down?”
I went downstairs and Karl looked at me, laughing. Barbara was silent. What? Had I done something wrong?
“Wow,” said Karl, ”look at that, the boy has good taste. Honey, I think your concern was completely unfounded.”
Barbara now also had to laugh out loud and so Karl and Barbara stood laughing in front of me and I didn't know what was happening.
“Can someone tell me what's so funny? I feel a little uncomfortable right now.”
Not to mention the fact that my face was probably red,
“Oh Luc, everything is fine. My wife was just concerned that your outfit might be a bit inappropriate, but I think you look really chic. I guess we still have a little work to do on our appearance.”
Barbara just gave the brief instruction that we would be picked up in half an hour and then we would go to dinner. Until then, I went back up to my room and watched the park from my window. There, those strange guys were meeting again with a few cans of beer. It was an impossible thought for me to spend my free time drinking and hanging around. But maybe I was just too sheltered. I felt very comfortable the way it was.
There was a knock at the door and Karl came in. We talked for a while about the work and how I would like it. I thought it was really extraordinary that he was so concerned about me. He then said that his children had already grown up and were not very interested in his job. That made him a little sad. He told me about the early days and that things were not always so good. I gained a different perspective and could imagine how much work was involved in a project like this. However, both Geigers put their hearts and souls into it.
“Karl, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Is it actually hard to make money in Germany with American cars? They don't exactly have the best reputation. They are said to consume huge amounts of fuel and have poor chassis compared to other European vehicles.”
He looked at me and started laughing.
“Interesting question, you're different from most guys your age. I've had a lot of interns, but hardly any of them are as insightful as you. We now have a large customer base and are doing very well here at our new location. Besides, we can reach customers with exactly that. We improve the vehicles and emphasize their character more. Of course, a Daimler driver is unlikely to switch to a Chrysler or Cadillac, but it does happen. They are a very unique type of people, those who like American cars. What type of vehicles do you like best?”
I thought that was a genuine answer and it suited Karl. I never got the feeling that he thought he was better than anyone. He was always nice and friendly to his employees, even though he demanded a lot from them.
“To be honest, I like it sporty. Dad always has sports cars at home. Of course, Mom doesn't like it so much, especially with my older brothers. They drive an Audi TT Roadster. Mom is always afraid that something might happen. I, on the other hand, like to drive fast, especially when Dad is driving. He bought a new Ferrari 458 Spyder a while ago and I really like that car. Mick and Lukas had deformed the Audi R8 Spyder a little.”
“Really? Marc gave them his Spyder and then they destroyed it? That must have caused trouble, right?”
Meanwhile, Barbara had also come into the room and admonished us to come down. Because we would be picked up in a moment. I explained the situation again and Karl had to grin.
“Ok, I can imagine that your mom was not thrilled at the time. But I think it's good that Marc didn't doubt their abilities after that. By the way, he doesn't doubt you either. He always raves about you when he's here about his cars.”
I felt a little uncomfortable now, Karl noticed that and quickly changed the subject.
“So, now we're going to have a nice evening. We've hired our shuttle service today so that you can get a real driving experience in an American car. Come on, let's go outside. Then you'll see what I mean.”
Following Karl downstairs, I quickly took my jacket from the wardrobe. Barbara also came to the door and what I saw there was breathtaking. A long stretch limousine was standing in front of the door. It was dark blue-black and had neon-colored floor lighting. The highlight was that it was not a Lincoln Town Car, but the first Hummer H3 in Germany to be lengthened and completely converted into a stretch limo. The chauffeur, Mr. Rügamer, opened the door for us and Karl was the first to get into the car. I was speechless. Mr. Rügamer was very nice and funny. He made a casual joke and before I knew it, I was sitting on a very elegant leather sofa. There were LEDs and monitors everywhere. Barbara was the last to get in and then we were off. The ride was truly an experience.
“How cool is that? Karl, let me guess, this was your idea. I didn't know you guys had a limo service too.”
Karl laughed loudly and Barbara grinned.
“Well, the limo service was my idea,” Karl began, ”but the idea of the Hummer came from her.”
He made a hand gesture and Barbara now laughed out loud. It was hard to tell that we were already in traffic. Mr. Rügamer definitely knew his stuff. Barbara opened the bar and took out a bottle of champagne and Karl three glasses. He gave me a glass and then we clinked glasses. I felt a little uncomfortable. On the one hand because I had rarely drunk alcohol before and on the other hand because I was basically sitting in the car with my bosses.
“So, Luc, let's toast to your very successful first week of work with us. Cheers.”
Karl clinked my glass and I felt a strong tingling in my stomach. I was really very lucky with this internship. We talked about the schedule for the coming weekend and suddenly the car door opened. Mr. Rügamer was standing at the open door.
“So, please get out, ladies and gentlemen. We have arrived.”
I hadn't even noticed that we were standing in front of a very fancy restaurant in the middle of downtown Munich. Karl laughed and joked with our driver and arranged to contact him when we wanted to go home. Having our own chauffeur – what a luxury. It was a bit too much for me. I would have felt uncomfortable that someone else had to work through the evening because of me. Of course he would be paid for it, but it was unpleasant for me.
We entered a very elegant Italian restaurant. Karl seemed to be a regular guest here, because we were led directly to a table that was already set for three people. We took a seat and the waiter asked me what I would like to drink. I ordered a coke and there were three cards on the table. After we had all made our choices, Karl asked his wife:
“Do you know when the new Stingray for Martin will arrive? It still has to go to the painter.”
“No, dear, but I'm assuming tomorrow or the beginning of next week. But Michael has already made sketches for the design. However, I'm not particularly convinced by any of them yet.”
My curiosity was now aroused. Why was a new car being sent to the painter?
“Excuse me, but why would a new Stingray go to the painter? Didn't she survive the trip well?”
Karl was taken aback and said:
“No, that has nothing to do with it. But some customers want their vehicle to have an individual paint job or an airbrush on it. We have a design specialist for that in Michael. However, the new Corvette is very special in design.”
I have always been interested in drawing and painting. That was an interesting idea.
“What did the customer want? What should the car look like?”
“He wants an eagle airbrushed on his car. A bald eagle, the national bird of the United States. And the American flag.”
That was quite a task. I didn't say anything more at first. But I already had an idea in my head of what I would do in the next few days. Dinner arrived soon and we ate a really delicious meal. Suddenly, I had thoughts of Stefan. Somehow, I couldn't get the boy out of my head. What had he been trying to tell me with the situation at home? Karl seemed to notice that my thoughts were far away.
“What are you thinking about, Luc?”
“Oh, Karl, I'm thinking about how lucky I am with my family. Mario had also told me a little about his problems with his brother and father. Also, yesterday in the park I met another boy who apparently doesn't have it too good at home either. It just makes me realize how unbelievably lucky I am with my family and friends.”
There was a moment of silence at the table. Barbara had, however, immediately switched.
“Do you mean our Mario? Our apprentice? What did he say? He's always so cheerful and friendly.”
“Yes, I mean the Mario who trained me so well during my first few days here. He had told me about his younger brother and that there were apparently problems with their father. Mario would also like to move out of home. He wants to do this as soon as he has finished his training and can afford a flat.”
Karl listened attentively, and Barbara seemed very surprised. I felt bad for telling Mario's boss without asking him first. What if he didn't like me telling his boss?
“Um, I'd like to ask you to keep it to yourselves. I didn't want to snitch on Mario. I like him a lot. He's been very helpful to me so far.”
“Don't worry, but I'm actually very glad that you told us about it. We feel responsible for our employees. Especially for the apprentices. I'll talk to Mario at a convenient opportunity, but don't worry. He won't realize that you told us anything.”
Karl had shown another side again. Not the always funny car freak, but a caring boss. My respect for him grew and grew.
About two hours later, we were standing in front of the Geiger house again. I was really tired and exhausted by now. It was beyond me how the two Geigers had been able to keep up this workload for years and still be so fit in the evenings.
I thanked them for the great evening and the invitation and fell into bed, dead tired. Tomorrow was Friday and I would fly home on Sunday. Before that, I still had to work.
The next morning, I had a little trouble getting out of bed. I had slept restlessly that night. However, I could not remember the details of what had made me so restless. My breakfast was therefore a little bit smaller and I left the house a little pressed for time. On the way to the S-Bahn, I walked quite briskly through the small park. What caught my eye was a person lying on a bench. At this time of day? Must have been a homeless person who had spent the night on the bench. I didn't think anything of it and continued on my way.
When I arrived at the company, Karl and Barbara were already in their element and in a good mood. I said good morning and quickly went to change. I was on time, but still arrived a little rushed.
Today I only had a short working day and was given the task of helping out in the warehouse. Karl had received a delivery of parts that had to be sorted correctly. It was quite boring work, but it had to be done. I was already thinking about going home and looking forward to seeing my mom and dad. However, my concentration was a little distracted as a result. Andy, the warehouse manager, came up to me and was a little grumpy.
“Say, you also have to look at the labels to see what's on them. If you put the Chevy parts with the Dodge parts, there will be chaos. Not all water pumps are the same.”
I blushed immediately because it was more than embarrassing. Damn.
“Sorry, Andy, I was already on my way home in my thoughts. I'll concentrate on my work again.”
He smiled, made another comment and left me to work in peace. I skipped breakfast so that I could get a little more done by the end of my first week at work. Shortly before eleven, Barbara came to see me in the warehouse.
“Hey Luc, you'll have to change clothes soon, or do you want to board the plane in your overalls?”
“No, better not. Is it that late already? Thanks, I'll go change.”
“When you're done, please come back to the front desk, I have something for you.”
“Yes, I will, Barbara. Be right there.”
She left the warehouse again and I said goodbye to Andy, went to change and a quarter of an hour later I was standing in front of the reception in civilian clothes. Anja, the receptionist, explained to me that I didn't need to take the S-Bahn to the airport, but that Tobias would take me. He had a customer appointment nearby and it made sense. I thought that was very practical and convenient.
A few minutes later I was sitting in a brand new Chrysler Viper on the way to the airport. Not a bad means of transport, I thought. Tobias dropped me off at the airport and I just had to go to the check-in counter and hand in my booking confirmation. I received my boarding pass immediately and, since I had no luggage, I was able to go straight to the waiting area.
Everything went according to plan and ninety minutes later we landed in Geneva. Checking out went quickly. I was getting really restless now, the butterflies in my stomach were getting stronger, and when I saw Dad, I ran. I literally stormed towards him and he hugged me.
“Hello Luc, how nice to have you back. Are you okay?”
“Yes, Dad, I'm fine. I'm really happy to be back home. Is everyone else okay?”
“Yes, everything's fine. You should just check in with Nico, please. He wanted to do something with you. Leif won't be back from training for an hour, but he's looking forward to seeing you. Mom is at home making lunch. Did you go to work today?”
While I was briefly reporting on how my day had gone so far, we had already arrived at the car. During the drive, Dad told me that Mick and Lukas wouldn't be coming this weekend, but they would be there when I came back home after my internship. They were both fine and sent their regards. I was very happy to be back with my family.
When I arrived home, I naturally had to endure a big welcome ceremony from my mother. On the one hand, I was embarrassed, but on the other hand, it was somehow nice to be greeted like that. Strangely enough, my thoughts went straight to Stefan and Mario. Both of them probably didn't have such a great family behind them. That moved me more than I expected. I didn't really know either of them at all, it was just a feeling. I had decided to talk to mom and dad about it.
First of all, I was of course expected to report everything I had experienced during the week. Leif, of course, was only interested in asking me about Munich's nightlife. He was visibly disappointed that I hadn't been out on the town in Munich yet. Dad also found it a little annoying and made fun of him accordingly.
“Leif, not everyone is crazy about action and partying. Besides, you're only the great ladies' man with your mouth anyway. So you better leave your brother alone, or I'll tell a few stories about you.”
Leif, of course, was not impressed and blushed. Mom rolled her eyes and Dad and I laughed our heads off. That settled the matter.
We spent the afternoon together in the forest on mountain bikes. That was great fun for me. I always had fun working up a sweat with Dad. Romping through the forest and riding up and down steep slopes gave me a certain kind of happiness. When it slowly got dark, Dad, Leif and I rode back. Mom had gone home earlier; the place was too wild for her and she didn't always want to watch us going down the slopes.
At home, I looked forward to a nice bath in the hot tub. This was something different than just a quick shower. So I lay in the well-tempered water and let my thoughts wander. What irritated me was that I kept coming back to Stefan and Mario. It didn't leave me alone. I decided to talk to Dad about it. However, the evening was actually already planned. We wanted to go out to eat together and go go-karting with Nico and Tommy. That was always an experience for me. Nico was a special friend to me. He had never given up on me during my leukemia and had always built me up when I was doing very badly.
The fact that he was gay too, like Mick and Lukas, and had been with Tommy for years, had never bothered me. On the contrary, I could always talk to him about anything. I could also tell him that I had been reading more and more Nickstories stories lately. He never asked me if I was maybe into guys too. He just left it at that. I thought that was great. I was accepted for who I was.
But at some point I had to get out of the wonderfully relaxing bath and get dressed again. The four of us went to our favorite Italian restaurant, Salvatori. We had all been there many times and I always enjoyed going there. Tommy and Nico would join us for karting.
We had each ordered our food and that was a good opportunity for me to tell about my experiences with Stefan and Mario. Mom and Dad had listened to me without interrupting until I had finished my story. Even Leif listened carefully. Dad was the first to speak.
“I think it's good, really good, that you are thinking about it. However, it is not easy to deal with this situation. Mario shouldn't be that difficult because you will be working with him for another two weeks. I'm sure there will be an opportunity to talk to him, and maybe Karl can do something for him too. As for Stefan, I don't know what you could do for him if he doesn't want to talk. Maybe you will meet again. One thing I know for sure, my son, when you think about him like that, you care about him. So follow your feelings and try to be a friend to him. Everything else will fall into place.”
I was very happy to have parents like that, who unconditionally had my back. Even Leif didn't say anything, but added to Dad:
“Luc, I think you're going to do the right thing. And I have the same feeling I had when Mick met Lukas. That can only be a good omen.”
There was silence, absolute silence. What did Leif mean by that? I suddenly felt very hot and my face probably matched the color of a ripe tomato.
Mom looked at Leif speechlessly and Dad just had a slight smile on his face, I remained silent. Dad then changed the subject and we only talked about the things that had happened here while I was away. The food tasted great as always, but somehow I had a certain uneasiness in my stomach. I couldn't put my finger on it.
The evening at the go-kart track was very fun and interesting. I usually came in last, but I had a lot of fun. Leif was certainly the better driver of the two of us. Dad was in a league of his own anyway. He still knew how to drive fast. Nico was just as crazy about motorsports as Dad.
Here, it was now also normal for a former world champion to enjoy an event with his family. We were no longer asked for autographs as often. We were now regulars and no longer something special. That was very pleasant for me.
When we drove home around midnight, I was totally exhausted. The day was very long and exhausting. Tomorrow I definitely wanted to sleep in. I wanted to rest and enjoy the day.
Although I was very tired, I couldn't fall asleep. I couldn't get Leif's words out of my head. What did he want to express with them? But eventually I did fall asleep, and surprisingly I slept for a long time.
The next morning, or rather almost noon, I woke up refreshed. However, I had a very wet boxer short at a very specific point. That hadn't happened to me in a long time. Since I regularly satisfied myself actively with my hand, that actually no longer happened. I wondered what I had dreamt. Anyway, first take a shower and put on fresh clothes.
I found a note in our kitchen. Everyone had gone out and I should have a quiet day. They would all be back around four and then have coffee together. That suited me very well, so I could work on the design for the Corvette for Karl's customers in peace. So I made myself some delicious fried eggs with bacon and ham. And a pot of green tea. I enjoyed the peace and quiet and wrote a message to Nico and Tommy.
I had my painting and drawing utensils in Dad's office. So I retreated to the office and worked out two different designs. After three hours, I had achieved a satisfactory result for me. I packed up my things again. I put the two pictures on the desk to dry. I would put them in a special folder and take them with me to Munich.
The day passed without any further events, so I just had a very quiet Saturday. It was a very relaxing day for me. Dad had looked at my designs and was totally thrilled. He even had the idea that I should do a design for one of his cars. That made me a little proud. Maybe my skills weren't that bad after all. I was also very curious to see if Karl would approve of my work as well.
Leif wanted to go to a party that evening and had asked me if I wanted to come with him. For me, these kinds of parties were just a waste of time. I thought it was awful, especially when some people had drunk so much alcohol that they no longer knew what they were doing. Simply disgusting. I decided to stay at home and talk to Dad for a while. We were sitting comfortably in the living room and I told him about the things I had already learned.
Dad had given me the idea of also considering the idea of trying out my artistic talents. Maybe I would get the chance to do that sooner than I thought.
“Luc, I wanted to come back to the subject of Stefan and Mario.”
I was amazed. What did that mean now?
“Uh, yes, what do you mean, Dad?”
Dad took a deep breath and then a very personal conversation ensued.
“Could it be that you are spending a little more time with the two boys after all? I think that Leif is not wrong in suspecting that you are behaving exactly like Mick did when he met Lukas.”
That was a shock for me. What did Dad want to tell me? I had never thought about whether I liked girls or boys, but only whether I liked the person. What did that have to do with Mick and Lukas?
“Oh, Dad, I really don't know where you get that from, but it's true, I do worry about both of them. But not in the way you might think. It's just that I feel that Stefan has even bigger problems. With Mario, I think he's worried about his brother and that something is wrong at home. I would talk to Stefan again, especially. Unfortunately, I didn't get his cell phone number.”
“I see. You mentioned that you've seen him in the small park quite often. Maybe you'll run into him there again. Then you can talk to him again. I want to give you one piece of advice, Luc. If it turns out that Stefan needs help, don't hesitate to call me. Or talk to Karl. You shouldn't have to deal with these things alone.”
“Thanks, Dad. Maybe you're right and I should reach out to Stefan. It seemed like he was embarrassed to be with me. He said he was a failure. He was very sad.”
“You'll do the right thing. Remember the times with Benny. It's important to look closely. Better to look too much than to look away once. I trust you. You'll do the right thing.”
He really hugged me and it felt great to have a father who let me know that I would do the right thing. A great feeling.
On Sunday, I had planned to go to the workshop with my dad. Actually, my dad didn't want to go. He thought I shouldn't be in a workshop on my day off. But I wanted to be with him, and I enjoyed tinkering with his old cars. He had now restored three vintage cars. A 1959 Cadillac Eldorado Convertible, a 1960s Shelby Cobra and a 1990 Lancia Delta Integrale. His current project would probably be another American car. Dad wants all of us kids to have a classic car that we should take care of. I had always admired the old Stingray C2, but good cars were extremely rare and damn expensive. He had just bought an old Jaguar E-Type for Mom. In our opinion, it was one of the most beautiful roadsters of all time. It was still on its way from the USA to Switzerland.
I still had almost three years before I could get my driver's license, but a restoration like this takes quite a long time. Anyway, we had enough to do and it was just fun working on the cars with Dad. Stephan and Thomas were also there working in their workshop. They were two students Dad had met back then and they had had this workshop together ever since.
At the end of our Sunday work, we took the GT for an extensive drive. I took a few pictures for Mario, who had worked on the conversion at Geiger back then. I hoped that he might be pleased if I brought him a souvenir picture with me and Dad. Dad also wrote a greeting on the picture for him.
We were back home by three o'clock, and my return trip to Munich was getting closer. Leif had stayed with his friends, so I talked to Mick and Lukas on the phone. They were doing well and were happy to hear from me. We talked for half an hour and it was nice to have two big brothers who supported me so much. They were studying in Germany, about 150 kilometers from Munich.
Somehow the weekend went by way too fast. Time flew and I had to say goodbye to my parents again. At the airport, I felt a little sadness after all. Mom was fighting back tears and Dad came to me again before I went through check-in. He gave me an envelope to give to Karl. Then we all hugged again and I had to make my way back to Munich alone. Waving once more, I turned around and headed towards the plane. And with that, my first weekend during my internship was over. The next time I would be here would be after my internship.
The return flight was smooth, and so nothing stood in the way of the second week of my internship. I left the house early Monday morning, excited, and made my way to work. When I arrived, I was greeted warmly by my colleagues. There really was a special working atmosphere in this company. Karl assigned Mario to me again today. However, Mario was not there yet. So Karl sent me to Jonas, an already trained journeyman. Karl couldn't tell me why Mario wasn't there yet either. I just knew there would be trouble because Karl didn't like unpunctuality at all.
In the midst of the work for an inspection, Karl came to me and looked at my work. I hadn't even noticed it at first and so I flinched a little when he spoke to me.
“Luc, what you're doing here looks really good. You can go to Mario now or finish this work here. What do you want to do?”
“Well, I'd rather finish this first, if that's okay.”
“A good thought, so finish this and then help Mario with the lobster.”
Karl gave me a little pat on the shoulder and disappeared back towards his office. I suddenly remembered my design for the new Stingray. Should I really show it to Karl, or would he laugh at me? I thought about it for a moment until an idea came to me. I wanted to show the design to Mario first. He probably wouldn't laugh at me if it was too bad.
An hour later, I went over to Mario, who was already eagerly working on the Hummer H3.
“Hi Mario, how was your weekend?”
He looked at me and grumpily replied,
“Oh Luc, don't ask. And then I overslept today, so it wasn't a good day. Let's look ahead instead. Can you please pass me the ratchet? I can't reach it.”
I handed him the tool and was soon absorbed in my work again. Mario continued to be very nice to me, but I could tell that he looked very tired and had not had much sleep. He also seemed very down. When we had finished the Hummer and he took the car away, I decided to ask him what had actually happened at the weekend. He brought a new vehicle, a Silverado, which was a classic pick-up. A huge vehicle.
Mario got out and explained to me that we should install a new exhaust system here. He explained the steps to be taken and then he explained the angle grinder to me. I should just cut the old exhaust pipe with it. I was given protective goggles and gloves and then I started at the discussed point. The sparks flew and a short time later the pipe was cut through.
Mario nodded with satisfaction.
“Don't you want to stay with us and do an apprenticeship? You're really good and have talent.”
I was a little embarrassed, because such praise is quite nice. I wanted to take advantage of the favorable mood to ask Mario what had actually happened.
“Mario, thanks for the compliment, but can I ask you something?”
“Sure, go ahead, what do you want explained?”
“Well, it's nothing to do with work. What happened to you over the weekend, you don't look very rested, and you being late is also unusual.”
Mario looked at me helplessly. He felt caught out. However, he seemed to sense that I was seriously concerned.
“Oh, Luc, it was a bad weekend. My father was drunk again and my little brother just ran away on Friday after he had an argument. He still hasn't been back until this morning. I'm worried about where he might be. I'm slowly realizing that I should take more care of him.”
That hit me. On the one hand, I felt sorry for him, but on the other hand, I also felt an emerging anger towards the father. How could a father be so irresponsible with his children?
“Do you have any idea where he might be? Maybe at one of his friends?”
Mario shook his head.
“I've already tried all that. He hasn't been anywhere. Just gone. I'm afraid something might have happened.”
His voice faltered and I realized that Mario was really not doing well. Why hadn't he told Karl so that he could take care of it now?
“Have you spoken to Karl yet? I think that's more important than the work here.”
“No, I'm ashamed of it. I'd have to explain that my dad's a drunk.”
“Nonsense, it's not your fault your father behaves so badly. It's your little brother who's at stake here. I want you to go to Karl and tell him about it.”
“Better not, he was really angry this morning when I was late.”
“He didn't know why, so explain it to him.”
“Luc, I'm just an apprentice here, why should he worry about something like that?”
“Because he cares. I'm sure he'll understand. Come on, let's go to him together. Anyway, I have something else I want to show you first.”
He looked at me doubtfully and I fetched my cardboard tube with the two designs. I opened it and rolled out the two pictures. Mario's eyes got big when he saw my pictures.
“Wow, how cool is that? You designed and painted that?”
“Hmm, yes, I had a little time at home over the weekend, so I made that.”
“Great, really, you have to show Karl that. He'll be thrilled.”
“Only if you come with me. I can't just give him a draft as an intern, which should actually be from his designer.”
My thought was that if he came with me, I could also use it to talk to Karl about the missing brother. Mario should take care of it now and not work.
“All right, but let's finish the exhaust first, then we'll show Karl your pictures.”
The exhaust was done quickly. So Mario now had to come with me to Karl's office. We were on our way and I was really surprised at how nervous Mario was. Karl wasn't going to rip his head off. I knocked and heard:
“Come in.”
We entered the office and Karl looked up from his desk and paused.
“Well, two of you? What happened?”
Mario was unable to say anything, so I had to do it.
“Hello Karl, do you have a moment for us? We would like to discuss something with you.”
“Please sit down.”
I had my roll in hand and put it on the table in front of Karl.
“What is that? Did you bring something from home?”
“Just open it, I'm sure you'll like it.”
Mario had now awakened Karl's curiosity. He opened one side of the roll and took out the pictures. Then he laid them out on his desk and looked at them speechlessly. It took a few moments before he picked up the phone and immediately summoned one of his employees. What did this mean?
Karl didn't usually show any emotions, he just kept looking at the pictures when the door opened and his designer entered the room. Karl just pointed at the pictures and both immediately agreed.
“Wow, Karl, where did you get these designs? They look great.”
Karl now had to grin and pointed at me. I felt totally uncomfortable because now I felt like I was on display.
“Wow, is that you? I think it's terrific. Let's scan it in and then implement it. A great design.”
Karl just nodded and said,
“Luc, you go with Michael right away. I have to see that on the car. I think it'll be terrific. If you have ideas like that again, come to me right away. You don't have to send Mario ahead first.”
He laughed again, he had seen right through me. Michael took the pictures and left the office, I still had one more thing to clarify.
“Well Karl, I admit defeat, but I also brought Mario for another reason.”
Now Mario was really nervous. But I didn't let myself be distracted by it anymore and explained the situation to Karl. When I was finished, Karl looked alternately at me and at Mario. He seemed impressed.
“My goodness, Mario. Why didn't you tell me about this? That's quite a story. Do you know where he might be now?”
Mario was struggling with his feelings and shook his head. Karl had already made up his mind, I could see that in his face.
“All right, you pack up your things right now and go home. You take care of your brother first. This has absolute priority. If he still isn't back by noon, you go to the police. Do you understand?”
Mario was completely overwhelmed. He just nodded and wanted to say something, but Karl didn't let him get a word in edgewise.
“Keep me informed. If there is any news, please call me. You're not coming back to work until your brother turns up. Now march.”
Mario and I left the office. In the hallway, Mario looked at me uncertainly.
“Come on, Mario, your brother needs your help.”
“Thanks, I don't know how I can ever repay you.”
“It's easy: find your brother and kick your father's ass. You need help at home.”
Mario came up to me and gave me a hug. I felt much better now, I knew Mario would take care of it. So we went our separate ways for now. I was to go to Michael's office and Mario was going home. I had exchanged cell phone numbers with him so that he could call me as soon as he knew something.
My thoughts were now a little clearer. This internship would definitely not be boring and I was slowly starting to feel guilty. I hadn't told Mario that I had already talked to my parents about this situation.
The next stop was Michael's place. There he showed me how he had edited my painted design on the computer and how the new Corvette would look with my design. I was impressed.
“And do you like it? Or would you still like to change something?”
“Yes, it looks really cool. But do you think the customer will like it? I mean, I'm not a designer, I'm just a student.”
Michael laughed and replied,
“Student is ok, but a student with special abilities. If he doesn't like it, there's nothing we can do to help him. I also know that Karl would like to have the other design on his own Corvette. So don't be surprised if he gives you a corresponding order soon.”
“Do you really think so? He would ask me to design his personal Corvette?”
I got goosebumps at the thought. After all, Karl was as well known in Munich as a colorful dog.
We worked on a few more details, then the final draft was ready. Michael sent the data to the paint shop, which was then to apply it to the car. I spent the afternoon working with Michael on a few other designs for other vehicles. I really enjoyed it, especially getting to know the computer program. It was a completely new experience for me. It was very interesting and Michael explained a lot to me.
The day ended much sooner than we would have liked. Time had almost flown by. Unfortunately, I was once again reminded of Mario's brother. He had not reported in. That meant that he still did not know where his brother was.
I went home, lost in thought. I decided to call Mario later if he didn't get in touch. On my way home from the S-Bahn, I had to go through the park again, and this time there were no teenagers with beer cans there. There were no people on the benches today. I only saw two figures coming out of the bushes and going in different directions. Strange. What were they doing in the bushes? I didn't think about it any further though. Because when I wanted to go onto the property, I saw one of the two figures from before coming towards me. I thought I was mistaken, but it was Stef who was coming towards me. He looked pretty exhausted. Man, I wonder where he'd been hanging around.
“Stef, where did you come from?”
I was shocked when I saw his face in the light. He was standing in front of me, shaking all over. I didn't really know what to do. He wanted to explain something to me, but he could hardly speak.
I didn't care anymore, I had to do something, so I took him by the hand and we went into the house. When we were standing in the hallway and I took off my jacket, I was able to look at him properly. He was pale and soaking wet. His jacket looked terrible and it seemed as if he had a swelling over one eye.
“Thanks, Luc.”
He spoke so softly that I could hardly hear him.
“Stef, what happened? And please don't tell me any more stories. You just came out of the bushes in the park with another guy. Is that who did this to you?”
He just shook his head but didn't say anything. I was simply overwhelmed at that moment. I knew he needed help, but what could I do right now? I decided to run a hot bath first.
When I came back from the bathroom, he had sat down on my sofa. He looked really bad.
“Stef, take off your clothes. You're soaked through. You'll catch your death of cold here. I'll lay out some of my clothes for you, so you can put them on after your bath.”
He still did not speak to me. I let him be and led him to the bathroom. There he had to undress. I did not want to harass him and left him alone when he said:
“Luc, please stay here. I do not want to stay alone. I would like to tell you everything, but I cannot.”
He started to cry. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. So I stayed in the bathroom and helped him out of his clothes. His body was covered with bruises. I was shocked. Who had done this to the boy? I didn't want to deal with that now, but first I wanted to make sure that he got into the warm water. I helped him into the tub and then I left him alone for a moment.
Only now did I realize that I needed help. I couldn't handle this alone. I gathered all my courage and called Barbara. I explained very briefly what had happened and that I didn't know what to do. She remained calm and said only a few words after I had finished.
“Luc, I'm coming home immediately. Stay with the boy and take care of him.”
These words did me a world of good. She didn't ask why or how, she just sensed that I needed help. When I went back into the bathroom, I could see something between fear and relief in Stef's eyes.
“Luc, why are you doing this? I'm a failure and I've made a mess of things. Why are you helping me?”
“Because you need help. Did you run away from home? Who beat you up like that? Let me guess, that was your father?”
He looked at me with sad eyes and nodded with tear-filled eyes. I felt sick. He told me that he had already run away from home on Friday because his father had once again beaten him up and beaten him up so badly. He told me that he had been hiding in the park the whole time. I felt sick. I almost threw up.
I didn't want to know any more than that, and I felt his fear. He was terribly embarrassed. I calmed him down and told him he could stay here for now, hopefully Barbara would come soon. Then I wouldn't be alone with the whole thing anymore. Suddenly Stef started to say something to me again:
“Luc, can you maybe tell my brother, he's the only one who's always helped me so far.”
“Of course, how can I reach him? Do you have a phone number for him?”
He looked up the number on his cell phone and gave it to me. I looked at the name and the number. Then it clicked for me.
“Stef, your brother doesn't happen to work as a mechanic in a garage, does he?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“Because I think I know your brother, and he's been desperately looking for you since Friday. He works at Geiger, just like me. We talked about you and Karl sent him home so he could look for you.”
Silence. Now my composure was finally gone. Stef cried bitterly. I tried to calm him down and comfort him. Thank God Barbara came home at that moment.
“Luc, where are you?“ Barbara called down the hall. I was very relieved. Finally, I was no longer alone with this problem.
“We're in the bathroom upstairs,” I called back.
I could immediately hear her running up the stairs. I couldn't get out of the bathroom in time, and so she was suddenly standing right in front of Stefan, who was naked in the tub. She was taken aback, and I was totally uncomfortable. After all, she was a complete stranger to Stefan.
“Luc, what happened? Come on, let's go downstairs for a moment. You can explain everything to me there.”
I was very glad that she had immediately understood how uncomfortable it must have been for Stefan. I followed her downstairs and told her everything I knew at that point. She was shocked and speechless. After a few moments of silence, her dynamism returned.
“Luc, have you called Mario yet? He'll be glad to hear that you know where his brother is. We have to persuade Stefan to press charges against his father. He can't go back home in this state. But we'll sort that out later. He needs to see a doctor. His face looks terrible.”
“Not only his face, his whole body is covered in bruises. This abuse has been going on for a while. I'm sure something like this has been going on for a while.”
Barbara was getting really angry. She started to get really upset. I stood speechless in front of her. Suddenly she seemed to have made up her mind, because she suddenly became very calm and said to me:
“Listen, Luc, you call Mario now, I'll call Karl and we'll discuss what we can do. Go to Stefan and let him talk to Mario. Please ask Mario to come here and then we'll discuss how to proceed. You take care of the boy. I'll get you something to drink and eat first.”
This kind of announcement could have come from Dad. I felt a force inside me telling me that I had to help now. I definitely wanted to do that. I ran up the stairs, and when I came into the bathroom, Stefan had already gotten out of the tub and wanted to get dressed. I helped him with that, and so after five minutes we were in my room. Stefan was sitting next to me on the sofa, looking miserable. I had put my right arm around his shoulder and he put his head on my shoulder. It was actually a nice feeling, but I had something else on my mind at the moment.
I picked up my cell phone and finally called Mario.
“Hello Luc, what's up?”
“Mario, have you heard from your brother Stef?”
There was a moment of silence on the other side.
“How do you know that my brother's name is Stefan? And Stef is only used by a few friends, right? No, I still have no idea where he could be. He's probably holed up in some shared flat again. He's done it before for a few days.”
“Mario, where are you right now?”
“I'm in a café in town, I was hoping to hear from him here. Why do you ask?”
“I have someone sitting next to me who wants to tell you something and I also want to talk to you. So please let them explain where you should go.”
I handed the phone to Stef and he spoke to his brother. Very quietly, as if he was ashamed of what he had done. It was a short conversation, Stef had explained to him where he should go and then gave me the phone back.
“Stef, I promise you'll be safe here for the time being. But we have to think about how to proceed. You can't go home like this. When Mario gets here, we have to find a solution.”
“I'm scared, Luc. I've tried to do something against my father so many times, and my mother had tried it before. It didn't work.”
He was sitting on the sofa, completely collapsed, and I felt an overwhelming rage inside me. It was unacceptable that a father could mistreat his children so much without anything being done about it.
I stood up and was about to go downstairs. Stef looked at me with his sad eyes.
“What are you going to do? Why are you doing this for me?”
“Quite simply because we are friends and you need our help. Come on, follow me. Barbara has made us something to eat and drink.”
Very hesitantly, he got up and followed me anxiously. I put my arm around him and tried to calm him down:
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You haven't done anything wrong, except maybe not telling Mario everything. He might have been able to help you sooner, but now your suffering is over. I promise you that. I'll call my dad later and then we'll see. We'll help you. And the Geiger family are really great people, they'll definitely help where they can, too. Maybe we can find a solution when Mario gets here.”
He calmed down a little and just nodded silently. When we arrived in the kitchen, Barbara had already prepared some nice things. There was also hot chocolate. Stefan didn't dare to take any at first. Barbara calmed him down and didn't talk about what he must have experienced. She just tried to engage him in conversation. That worked out quite well, because soon Stefan had started to eat something and so the situation relaxed a little.
We were still sitting at the table in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Barbara left the kitchen to open the door. I could already hear Mario's voice and Stef became very restless. I took him in my arms and calmed him down.
Mario stood in the doorway, looking speechless at us. It was only when he realized the state his little brother was in that his face darkened. He whispered a few expressions that I don't want to repeat here.
I wanted Stef to confide in his brother and tell him about his experiences. So we went into the living room and when Stef stood in front of his brother, they fell into each other's arms. Both had lost all composure. They both cried with joy and certainly also because they realized that they had missed something.
A few moments later, when they had both calmed down a little, Mario began to talk. He talked about his childhood and how he had been beaten up just like his brother. Except that it hadn't been as bad as it was today. He wasn't at home enough to notice everything. He would love to move out of home too, but that's not possible at the moment. He doesn't have the money for that. I got really angry.
“It can't be that a boy has to be beaten up by his father, is on the streets for days because he can't stand it at home anymore and there's nothing that can be done about it. There has to be a way.”
Barbara calmed me down and explained that Karl was already on his way home. She suggested that I should go to my room with them for a moment until Karl had arrived.
Soon we were sitting around my coffee table and, to my amazement, Stef had sat down next to me and put his head on my shoulder. I had put my arm around him and held him tight. I didn't care what it looked like. I felt it was right and it was obviously good for Stef. Mario looked a little skeptical, but didn't say anything. We talked about the situation. I asked Stef and Mario:
“Tell me, have you never thought about reporting your father? Especially you, Mario, you're already of legal age. And what is your mother doing about it? Is she just watching too?”
I felt the anger rising up inside me again. I had to control myself not to say something wrong. Mario was shocked.
“But, Luc, of course I thought about it, but what then? I'm not around during the day and often just go out in the evening, but Stefan can't just leave. I didn't know it was that bad either. But where should we go? Stefan is fourteen. I'm at work and can't watch him all day. Mom gave up a long time ago. She's just as lost as we are.”
A large portion of resignation was expressed. That made me even angrier. However, before I could get upset, my room door opened and Karl stood before us with a very serious face.
Mario winced and Stef had also slumped even more. I held on to him.
“Hello you three. Wouldn't it be better to continue our conversation downstairs? And I'm glad that Stefan has reappeared.”
Mario was visibly uncomfortable.
“Good evening Mr. Geiger, I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble. But I'm just afraid of what will happen next.”
Karl looked at the three of us and a smile came back to his face.
“Come on, we'll sort it out downstairs. My wife is already waiting.”
We got up from our sofa and left my room to go downstairs. In the living room, Barbara had already put some nice things on the table. There was something to drink and also something to nibble on. Meanwhile, it was already quite late. I wondered what would happen next.
“Well, now sit down first. Then let's think together about what we can do.”
It was really almost like at my house. Dad probably wouldn't have reacted any differently. Mario now told his side of the story of what he had experienced at home, and then Stef tried to tell his story. However, he was repeatedly shaken by crying fits. Karl interrupted him at some point.
“Stefan, that's enough. I'll call the police and the youth welfare office tomorrow. Until then, you both stay with us. Luc, would it be okay with you if Stef slept with you? Mario can sleep here in the living room. We'll see tomorrow morning. I'll try to make an appointment with the youth welfare office with Mario.”
Mario was visibly impressed. It seemed inconceivable to him that his boss would stand up for him without hesitation. For me, it was just a confirmation of my impression of the two Geigers.
“Mr. Geiger, but I have to work again tomorrow. My final exams are in three weeks. How is all this going to work?”
Karl's facial features went all haywire. He got really angry and said very firmly.
“Mario, you don't need to worry about work right now. This is about your future. Work doesn't matter to you. I have no problem giving you a few days off. And you'll pass your exams even without working. You're way too good to fail. We have a different problem to solve here. We can only do that together.”
Barbara had already prepared the couch for Mario. The clock showed half past ten. For me, it was actually past my bedtime. My alarm clock usually went off at six. Karl included me as well, and I was given the task of taking care of the two of them, especially Stefan. So I didn't have to go to the company the next day either.
When I was alone in my room with Stefan, I felt the urgent need to call my mom and dad and tell them about what had happened. Stefan shouldn't necessarily hear about it. I didn't want to cause him any more stress.
“Stef, can I leave you alone for a moment? I'd like to make a phone call.”
“Yeah, I'll go lay down, okay?”
“All right, see you in a minute.”
I left my room and went downstairs. Karl and Barbara were still sitting there in the kitchen talking to Mario. They paused for a moment when I came down.
“Luc, where do you want to go?”
“I want to call my parents and tell them about what's going on here. Maybe Dad still has an idea of what we can do, Karl.”
“That's certainly right, please give him our best regards. How is Stefan?”
“He's doing quite well at the moment, he wanted to lie down, but I don't know yet how the night will be. I'll go make a phone call first. See you in a bit.”
I took my cell phone and called home.
“Steevens”
“Hello Dad...” I couldn't say any more.
“Luc, what's going on? Calling at this hour doesn't bode well. Did something happen?”
I had suspected it, my father sensed exactly that something was wrong. So I did not even try to beat around the bush, but explained the situation in detail. After I had finished my report, I felt an enormous tension in myself. I even trembled a little. My father had listened to everything very calmly and let me finish before he asked me:
“Luc, how are you? Are you all right?” ”What you just told me is a terrible story. I think you've behaved very well so far. I won't be able to help you much from here. But Karl and Barbara are certainly the right people for you. I'll talk to your mother and see if we can do something. Go to the police tomorrow and for now just stick to your plan as you have discussed it. I'll call you tomorrow evening. Then we might already know more.”
“Dad, I'm just afraid that Stefan will have to go back to that hell. He's only fourteen. Mario is an adult, so can't I do anything for Stefan?”
“Yes, you are already doing that, and more than most people. You took care of him and listened to him. That's why he chose you to help him. You can be proud of yourself and so am I. You did exactly the right thing. Now it is no longer your responsibility alone. So just be there for your friend and accompany him.”
“Does he have to go back again? It's a terrible thought when I think of all he's been through.”
“Luc, I don't know, but first of all, the youth welfare office has to be informed. If charges have been brought against the father, they have to be investigated. And now he's safe with you for the time being, so please don't worry too much. Keep me informed and, once again, you've done nothing wrong. Be there for your friend and you can't do more than that.”
“Okay, Dad. I'll try, but I'm so angry at that father. It reminds me so much of the story with Benny back then. I'm afraid it's that bad too.”
“I can well imagine how you feel right now. However, you have to stay calm now. That's the best way to help Stefan and Mario. They're counting on you, and you'll do fine. I'm very proud of you.”
When I ended the conversation, I realized how much I was shaking. I suddenly felt very cold and thought, how is Stefan doing, when this is already affecting me so much. I said goodbye to Karl, Barbara and Mario and then went back upstairs to Stefan.
He was already lying on the couch, curled up in a blanket, looking at me. I sensed his uncertainty, but I also didn't feel at all certain about what I should do now.
“How are you doing now? Is there anything I can do for you?”
Stefan shook his head, but there was something else he wanted to say. However, his voice seemed to fail him and tears ran down his eyes. I sat down on the couch next to him. I stroked his face without being able to say anything. My feelings were playing a trick on me right now.
“Luc, will you stay with me for a moment? I'm afraid of falling asleep alone.”
“I'll stay a moment longer. You're not alone here. If you need anything, come to me. And don't be shy, I can hardly imagine how you feel right now, but I'll support you.”
He now took my hand and squeezed it very hard. After a few minutes, his eyes closed and his hand opened. He must be completely exhausted. I sat with him for a moment and then went to my bed next door. I left my door open in case Stefan woke up and needed me.
I fell asleep very quickly, too. I would certainly not forget this day in a hurry. But my sleep was very restless. I dreamt many terrible things and woke up just as I had dreamt of Stefan. The dream was actually very nice, because I dreamt that I was walking with Stefan through the center of Munich. However, hand in hand, that had irritated me a little. It took me a few moments to realize that it was a dream. However, there were very real sounds coming from the next room. Stefan was crying bitterly. I jumped out of bed and immediately went over to him.
“Stef, what's wrong? Why don't you wake me up when you're not feeling well?”
He sniffed and sobbed:
“Oh, Luc, you've done so much for me already. I'd like to tell you so much more, but I just can't.”
Then he began to cry. I sat down next to him and stroked his face. I felt absolutely awful at that moment. Then an idea occurred to me.
“Stef, do you want to come to bed with me, so you're not alone anymore. There's enough room for both of us.”
He just nodded. So we went to my bed and he snuggled up close to me. I put my arm around his body and could quickly feel how Stefan relaxed and soon breathed calmly. He had fallen asleep again. The feeling I now had was completely new to me. But it felt right, I liked him very much by now. I definitely wanted to be there for him as a friend.
The night was relatively quiet considering the circumstances. Mario woke us up shortly after eight. Barbara had already prepared a great breakfast and explained the rest of the day's events to us.
“So, you three, Karl is already at the company, but he has just reported that he has an appointment at 10 a.m. at the relevant youth welfare office. I will go there with Mario and discuss the situation with the employee. Luc, please stay here with Stefan and take care of him. As soon as we're done there, we'll call to discuss all further steps.”
I was just relieved. I didn't have to go to the youth welfare office with Stefan. Stefan also seemed a little relieved. Stefan was generally much more stable than yesterday. However, he still looked pitiful. Suddenly Barbara's cell phone rang. Karl had sent an important message. He had already called the police and found out that there was not even a missing persons report for Stefan. He had taken this as an opportunity to talk to the officer about the possible criminal charges. The officer suggested that they come to the station immediately to file criminal charges against the father. However, this caused Stefan to panic. It took me a few minutes to calm him down again. But breakfast went quite normally afterwards and Stefan even had an appetite again. A good sign, I thought.
“So, you two heroes, I'm off with Mario. But leave our hut and we'll see each other again around noon for dinner.”
We hugged Barbara and she had already disappeared out the door with Mario. Stefan was standing behind me and we were both somehow at a loss. However, this led to Stefan saying,
“You Luc, do you actually know the name of this movie in which we apparently play a leading role?”
That led to a laughing fit for me. The best part was that Stefan also started laughing. It felt so good, finally Stefan was able to laugh again. After a few minutes of laughing and snorting together, we calmed down again and Stefan became very quiet. I had the feeling that something was working in him.
“Do you fancy going out for a bit of fresh air with me?”
I must have looked at him a little too suspiciously, because he immediately wanted to back down. But I realized in time.
“Sure, that's a good idea. I have a bit of a headache anyway, so it will definitely do us good.”
We put on our coats and left the house. I wanted to go through the park, but Stef had obvious problems with that.
“Can't we take a different route, I've been here all weekend, I don't want to go there anymore.”
I was surprised, but of course I didn't want a confrontation with him right now. We chose the other direction and went through the residential area. There was silence for a few minutes until he asked me:
“Luc, will you get in touch when you get back to Switzerland? I would like to continue being friends with you. I don't know why, but you're the first person who just accepts me as I am, without asking why I do this or that. Besides, I think you're nice.”
Why was he thinking about the time in two weeks now? For me, the next few days were much more important.
“Of course we'll keep in touch, but at the moment it's more important to me where you'll be in the next few days and what happens next. I'm afraid your father might do something to you again.”
I got goosebumps and had to shake myself. Stef noticed my reaction and immediately asked:
“Are you cold? Shall we go back?”
“No, it was just the thought of what might have happened to you. I don't like it when my friends are tormented like that.”
“Does that mean I'm your friend too? You think I'm nice even though I've done so much crap?”
I looked at him closely, his eyes seemed to shine a light on me.
“Yes, Stef, you're my friend and I like you the way you are. No matter what you've done, I know it's not your fault, but your parents'.”
That seemed to overwhelm him, because a tear rolled down his face. I put my arm around him and so we walked through the streets, leaning close together. At some point he said to me:
“Luc, I have to tell you something, but I'm afraid that you will then find me disgusting, but I want to tell you the truth.”
I stopped and looked into his eyes, which were now wide and wide open.
“What on earth could it be that would make me find you disgusting afterwards? You're crazy.”
I shook my head.
“Stef, you can tell me anything, it won't affect my friendship with you.”
He hesitated and then said something that really took my breath away for a moment.
“I..., I am..., so I turned to prostitution to get money for food and drink.”
“Excuse me? You did what?”
I was horrified, how desperate a boy must be to do something like that. Unfortunately, he had misunderstood my reaction, because he just ran away. I immediately ran after him and caught up with him quite quickly. I held him and saw a crying Stefan, who was completely desperate.
“Don't run away, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it against you. Please calm down. It won't change my friendship.”
He stopped in front of me and then something happened that I hadn't expected. He hugged me and then I felt his lips on my cheek. It felt good. I held him tight and just let him be.
“Stef, if you want to tell me more, you can do that anytime. But you don't have to. But there's one thing you need to know. I still like you, no matter what you did in your time of need.”
He was silent. I felt more and more anger towards his parents. What else did a child have to endure before they could be helped? We walked on, arm in arm, but now back towards our house. We didn't say another word until we got there. I just felt how close he was to me, and I found it anything but unpleasant.
Once we had taken off our jackets, I had an idea.
“What do you think about making a nice lunch for your brother and Barbara?”
“Can you cook? I don't know the first thing about how to do anything in the kitchen.”
I laughed and at that moment I was very grateful to my mom for insisting on teaching me how to cook. Dad certainly had his part in it too, because he was also a very good cook. That was an incentive for me to learn it too.
“Come on, let's see what we have in the fridge.”
I opened the fridge and it looked quite promising. Everything was there to make a lasagna. So I laid everything out and explained to Stef what we had to do. I started to peel and dice onions. Stefan was supposed to fry the mince in the pan and season with salt and pepper. We whirled around in the Geiger kitchen with a lot of fun and enthusiasm and after three quarters of an hour we had the lasagna in the oven. We were well on schedule and so I started to make the kitchen spotless again. When Barbara came back, the kitchen should be tip-top again. Stef helped me as best he could, but I quickly realized that he had no experience in the kitchen.
“Wow, Luc, you really know your way around here. I would never have managed this. Thank you for explaining so much to me. This was really fun.”
The nicest thing about these words was that Stef had a happy face on his face for the first time in a long time.
“Glad you like it, but I also enjoy cooking. And when you do it together, it's even more fun.”
“How long does the lasagna have to stay in the oven? Hopefully they won't be too late.”
“About twenty minutes, but we can also keep it warm, so that's no problem if they come later.”
We sat in the kitchen for a moment and he asked me a few things about my home. That I had three brothers and Marc was not my biological father. I told him how I had met my dad and when I told him that, he looked at me completely aghast. At first I didn't understand why he was so amazed, but then it clicked. He didn't even know that Marc Steevens was my dad yet.
“Er, Luc, did I just understand that Marc Steevens is your dad, the famous racing driver?”
I blushed and felt a little uncomfortable.
“Yes, Stef, that's right. I'm sorry, but I didn't mean to embarrass you. I want us to be friends because we like each other, not because I'm Marc Steevens' son. Are you mad at me now?”
He sat there completely motionless and I was really afraid he wouldn't be able to handle it at all. Then he said:
“Luc, I'm not angry. I'm just confused. You could have chosen anything you wanted and you've ended up with a drifter and loser like me. You even look after me and help me. I don't know how I can ever repay you?”
“Not at all, please let's just be friends. I'm still Lucien Maergener to you and I want it to stay that way. When you meet my parents, you'll see that my dad is a great, normal guy. I know you can't imagine it, but give it time. For now, I want you to stay my friend.”
I held out my hand and after a moment's hesitation, he shook it. I was very happy because I had a good feeling about this. Stefan was a nice boy.
A few moments later, we heard Barbara and Mario coming back. Barbara came to us in the kitchen and Mario followed her. Barbara was visibly astonished.
“Hello you two, hmm, it smells good in here. Did you cook for us?”
“Hello Barbara, yes, Stef and I thought we could do something nice for you.”
Now Mario came out from behind Barbara and nodded appreciatively. It seemed almost inconceivable to him that his little brother had tried his hand at cooking.
“I hope you can cook, Luc. Stefan has never been active in the kitchen at home except for eating.”
That made us laugh, and Stef countered that Mario himself was no better.
“So before we discuss it here for a long time, everyone please sit down and try it. We'll see if we can do it or not.”
I quickly distributed a few more plates and Barbara added the cutlery. Stefan took the lasagna out of the oven and so lunch could begin. Somehow the mood remained tense. Barbara, on the other hand, repeatedly provided amusement. After the lasagna was completely devoured, Mario said:
“Respect, this lasagna was really awesome. Tell me Luc, how long did it take you to teach Stef?”
“Not half an hour, after all, he's a bright guy.”
“Okay, it's reassuring to know that if I were to get an apartment with him, I won't starve.”
On the one hand, this triggered a laughing fit in me, but in Stef's case, it triggered disbelief. Barbara now took over and explained to us what had happened at the youth welfare office.
“Stefan, first of all, you don't have to go back to your parents. At least not for the time being. Mr. Mayr from the youth welfare office will become your responsible supervisor and take care of you. He has promised me to immediately place you in a youth group. The youth welfare office always has emergency places for such acute cases where they can safely accommodate children. And that is exactly what will happen. Mr. Mayr will come here later and you can get to know each other. He will also explain everything else to you. He will also go to the police with you and file a report. We will see how things progress from there. For Mario, it looks a bit more difficult. He is already of legal age and no longer has to live at home. So he can't get support from the youth welfare office.”
At that moment, I immediately saw a negative reaction in Stefan; he hung his head and groaned slightly. Barbara noticed this, however, and let Mario continue.
“Stef, I'm not going back. I'll look for an apartment with the help of Ms. Geiger and Mr. Mayr and then we'll see. Maybe you can move in with me. I just have to see how I can afford it. We'll stick together, I promise you.”
Mario stood up and hugged his little brother. I thought that was great. That's how it should be in a family. They sat down again and of course Stef's next question was understandable.
“But what are you going to do now? Where are you going to go if you don't have a place yet? Back to mom and dad?”
Mario now looked at Barbara and she nodded.
“No, Stef, absolutely not. I'll just pick up a few things and take things for you too, but then I'll live here until it's clear what's going to happen. You just can't stay here because no one can take care of you. I have to work, and so do Mr. and Mrs. Geiger.”
“And if we live together, is it different?”
“Yes,” replied Barbara, ”then your guardian will continue to take care of you. But it will take some time before an apartment is found. Applications have to be made and a lot of things have to be prepared.”
I had listened in silence the whole time and thought about what she had said. One thing was clear to me: Stef would remain my friend and I wanted to keep in touch with him. So I would probably be here in Munich more often in the future. I still had to discuss it with my mom and dad, but I was sure they would support me and Stefan.
Barbara looked at her watch and wanted to inform Karl, we cleared up the kitchen in the meantime. Stef had to go to the toilet and Mario took the opportunity to tell me something:
“Luc, I want to thank you. You just took care of yourself. I would like us to remain friends. Even after your time here in Munich. I hope you will think of us when you are back with your family.”
“Of course, Mario. I've already discussed it with Stef, I'll stay your friend and I'm sure my parents won't have any problems with us wanting to see each other again in the future. I'm just happy that things are finally moving forward for you.”
We were standing at the kitchen counter and Mario gave me a warm hug. I had a good feeling and was sure I had done the right thing.
Barbara came back and gave me Karl's regards and said I should stop by the company this afternoon. They would discuss how my internship should continue. I was looking forward to going back to my internship. It meant returning to everyday life for me. There was not much more I could do for Stef anyway. Except be his friend.
I decided that I would go to the company after I had met Mr. Mayr. Mario wanted to stay with Stef and discuss with Mr. Mayr how to proceed.
Some time later, the doorbell rang and Mario opened the door. A man of about forty, athletic, entered the kitchen behind Mario.
My first impression of Mr. Mayr was positive. He greeted me just as warmly as Mario and Stef. He introduced himself briefly and then began to explain the situation to us. I was amazed at how kindly but firmly he explained everything to me as well. I had a good feeling that Stef would be in good hands with him. After ten minutes, he asked me if I had any questions and told me that I could contact Stef at any time. He appreciated the fact that Stef now had someone he could trust at his age. Stef seemed to feel the same way, because he remained quite calm when I said goodbye at the company. We exchanged phone numbers and I also got the address of the residential group where Stef was initially admitted. I was allowed to visit him there anytime.
Mario stayed with his brother and I said goodbye. Stef still wanted to come to the door.
“Luc, do you promise to come and visit me?”
“Of course, but you also have to promise me that you won't hang around here in the park anymore. Never again!”
He became very quiet and I sensed his embarrassment. To resolve this situation, we hugged and I headed towards the S-Bahn.
The next few days were pretty normal again. We had a lot to do and I couldn't think much about Stef and Mario's situation during the day. At work, Mario also avoided talking to me about the situation. However, we talked a lot in the evenings. Karl tried to find an apartment for them that was also affordable. I had already visited Stef once in his new accommodation. He wasn't particularly happy there, but I was able to convince him that it was better than continuing to be exposed to the horror at home. Mr. Mayr had kept his word and went with him to the doctor and to the police, where he filed a complaint against both parents. These statements were once again a real burden for Stef, but Mario was allowed to accompany him.
I had also spoken to my parents on the phone a few times and Dad was really angry with Stef and Mario's parents. Dad encouraged me to continue to be friends with Stef. I had intended to do that anyway and Dad was very happy with how I had handled the situation.
It was now Thursday and I was having lunch with Mario at the Greek restaurant. We had ordered a large gyros platter. Mario was now more than just a colleague to me. We had become friends and I was already allowed to do a lot on my own at work. So now we were sitting at the table and Mario was sitting opposite me.
“Hey Mario, what has Stef actually told you about the last few days? And what do you think about the situation today, do you really want to move into an apartment with him?”
He had to take a deep breath and looked at me thoughtfully.
“Luc, he's actually told me everything, including what he told you. So I know what he was doing in the park. But he also told me something else.”
I was amazed. Stef seemed to have boundless trust in his brother to confide in him, but what else would come? I was a little scared.
“He keeps talking about you. Every time we talk on the phone or I visit him, he tells me how nice it is that you are his friend. He just hopes that you won't forget him when you go back to Switzerland in a week. He's afraid of that.”
I felt embarrassed, because I felt the same way. It was a long way away, but I had firmly resolved to write to him and visit him as soon as possible.
“Well, one thing I know for sure: that won't happen. He has become too important to me as a friend for that to happen. My parents would certainly have no objection to you visiting us in Switzerland.”
“Do you really think so? Your father is famous and certainly doesn't have time to deal with us. Besides, it will be quite expensive to come to Switzerland with two people. But Stef would definitely be happy. By the way, we can look at an apartment this weekend. Mr. Mayr has managed to get us into an apartment from the youth welfare office. If we are accepted. Because there are other applicants who also need it. We'll see, maybe it will work out.”
“That would be great. What about you, what will happen to you after your training? Will you be taken on here?”
“If I pass my exams, Mr. Geiger has promised to take me on. Then our financial problem would be solved and we could afford a proper apartment.”
“Man, that would be great. But do you think you could take care of Stef? Or will Mr. Mayr continue to be his carer?”
“Well, if I understand it right, Mr. Mayr will remain Stef's carer for the time being, at least as long as the matter with our parents is unresolved. Even if we then move into our own proper apartment. And before I forget, Stef will go back to school next week. I think that's really good. We'll see if he makes it through the school year.”
“Great, I think that's cool. Then he'll be back with his peers again. Even if he has to repeat the year, I think it's much more important that he sees a future again.”
“You're right, it's hard for him because he's afraid everyone will avoid him now. He doesn't want everyone to know what he's done and that we're such crappy parents.”
This statement hit me hard. I became thoughtful. What must the parents have done that Stef now had to be ashamed of what he had suffered? A few moments later, my feeling turned to anger.
“That can't be true. He shouldn't feel responsible for what your parents did. He should be able to live again. Wow, I could freak out when I hear that.”
I got really loud and Mario was a little frightened, but a moment later he said:
“You got it. Maybe you can tell him that again. He doesn't really listen to me.”
“You can count on it. I'll make sure he understands that. And woe betide him if he's not accepted there, then they can expect trouble in class.”
Mario looked at me and then he started laughing. Really loud.
“Wow, Luc, I actually believe you. I just imagine you coming into the classroom and cleaning it up. I'd like to be there for that.”
I had to laugh now, too. And that felt really good. We haven't had much to laugh about in the last few days. We've only had serious problems to deal with and hardly any distractions.
Mario looked at his watch and it was time for us to go back to work. On the way back, he asked me:
“Are you actually going back to Switzerland tomorrow?”
“No, I'll stay here this weekend and work on Saturday. Karl had asked me to work with Michael on a design for a new car. He said my last design was very well received by the customer.”
“Cool, maybe we can visit Stef together. Or do you already have something else planned?”
“No, we'd love to do that. But only if he wants to. Maybe he wants to do something with you alone.”
“I don't think so. He asks about you every time I go to see him. I'm sure he'll be happy.”
“Then let's plan it that way. But now we probably have to get back to work.”
We had returned to the workshop and still had a lot to do. There was an old Mustang with a major engine problem. We had already removed the valve covers and taken out the carburettor. Now we still had to remove the right cylinder head so that it could be reworked. That was a lot of work. However, I really enjoyed tinkering with it, especially when it worked properly again at the end.
We were so absorbed in our work that we didn't even notice that Karl had joined us at the car.
“Hello guys, how are you doing? Are you making progress?”
I jumped and dropped the wrench in shock. Karl started laughing out loud. Mario too.
“Boss, don't scare our interns like that. You'll break the tools.”
I was embarrassed, but Mario and Karl both grinned and had a good laugh at my expense.
“It's all right, Mario. But how are we doing, Luc?”
“Well, actually, we've made good progress. We'll have the cylinder head off in a moment, so it can still be worked on. Then we'll call it a day,” Mario answered faster than me. That was fine with me.
Karl looked at our work and nodded approvingly. He seemed satisfied.
“Well Mario, that looks really good. I think you've become a good team by now. When you've got the head down, please take it over to Arik. He should start working on it first thing in the morning. Then you can reassemble the car. The customer will be happy to be able to drive his horse to the weekend.”
“Got you, boss,” Mario replied. Karl looked over the entire vehicle again, but seemed satisfied. He turned to me and asked,
“Tell me, Luc, what kind of car would you like to drive later on? A modern or an old car?”
“Actually, I hadn't thought about it yet, but I'd prefer an old car for the summer, but it would have to be a convertible. I wouldn't need my own car in the winter. We always have a vehicle that I could use.”
Karl nodded and gave a typical smile.
“I can already see what would be suitable for you. Let's see if I can persuade your dad to get you the right one.”
Then he laughed and went over to the other employees to see how their work was progressing. Karl really was a great and extraordinary boss.
A short time later, we had dismantled the cylinder head and taken it away. We tidied up our workplace and it was time to go home. We said goodbye to our colleagues and then we drove home in Mario's jeep. On the way, however, Mario absolutely wanted to buy a few things. He thought he should contribute to the cost of food and drink. He wanted to make a bigger meal for everyone at the weekend. If everything went well, Stef would be with us too. I was looking forward to that.
At home, we stowed our things and I went to take a hot bath. Mario jumped in the shower and so we had a quiet evening ahead of us. Mario talked to Stef on the phone like every evening and I also talked to him for a few minutes. He was doing quite well in the residential group.
Before I went to bed, I called my parents and Leif. Dad had suggested that I could call Mick and Lukas to see if they had time at the weekend. They were both studying not too far from Munich.
In addition, Dad insisted on a detailed report on the developments with Stefan. He continued to encourage me to support Stefan. In some passages, I even had the feeling that Dad was considering coming to Munich. However, that was just a feeling; he didn't talk about it directly.
By ten o'clock I was so tired that I fell asleep without reading anything else.
Friday began without any major events. Mario and I drove to work together and immediately started on the Mustang. Dieter had already put all the new parts on the car for us, so we were able to start right away. We were well on schedule until the breakfast break. We had reassembled everything so far, only the cylinder head was still missing for the engine. Karl had decided this morning to have the other head reworked as well. That meant a little more work for us, but it definitely made sense.
I had just unwrapped my bread roll and poured myself a cup of tea when Karl entered the breakfast room. He came straight to our table.
“Mario, would you come with me to my office, please. The police are here and would like to ask you a few questions.”
My heart almost stopped. Had something happened to Stef? Mario went with Karl. I had a lot of thoughts going through my mind. Hopefully nothing had happened. I looked at the clock, the breakfast break was coming to an end and I made my way back to the workshop. Mario didn't come. I didn't know what to do now. I decided to get all the new parts ready so that we could continue as soon as Mario returned. After about ten minutes, Mario came running.
“Sorry, Luc, it took a little longer.”
A little out of breath, he looked at my preparations and was pleased that I had thought about them.
“Is everything all right with Stef?”
“Yes, everything is fine. The police only wanted a statement from me. Stef had told them about something that happened a few months ago and they wanted to know if that was true. Everything is fine with Stef.”
“That's a relief. I was really nervous when you went with Karl.”
Now he laughed again and said:
“Not only you, I was also scared shitless. But everything is fine. So we can get back to work.”
We did that and by noon we had finished installing all the parts, and there was still a test run on the test bench to be done. If that also went well, there would be a final test drive. However, that was normally always the boss's job for all vintage or special vehicles.
While we were waiting for the test bench run, Karl came over. He put his hand on my shoulder and said:
“Luc, what do you think? Do you want to do the test drive with me?”
“Uh, Karl, wouldn't it make more sense if Mario did it? He knows a lot more than me, and he's done a lot more work on the Mustang than I have.”
“Yes, that may be, but he has also done many test drives and I want you to come with me and get to know it.”
“Well, sure, I'd like to, but only if Mario agrees.”
Mario had overheard our conversation and blushed a little. He nodded and said,
“Sure, Luc, I think it's good that you should come along for a ride too. So do it with Mr. Geiger.”
That's how it should happen. The engine ran perfectly on the test stand and that meant a test drive with Karl for me. We taxied out of the courtyard in the beautiful old Mustang. The eight-cylinder engine roared along as Karl carefully drove the car through the traffic. For the first few minutes, we listened carefully for any unusual noises. I couldn't hear anything out of the ordinary, but that didn't mean anything. After a few minutes, Karl started to talk to me.
“What do you think, Luc? Is the car okay?”
“I can't hear anything unusual, but you have a lot more experience.”
He laughed, and then he said something very surprising:
“Luc, don't sell yourself short. From what I've heard from Mario and the other employees, you're very talented. You already understand quite a lot of the subject matter. What about it do you want to do after school? I could see myself hiring you as an apprentice.”
That was of course a great compliment, but I wanted to finish school first. After that, though, it could be an interesting option.
“Well Karl, I'm of course happy that I meet your requirements, but first I want to graduate from high school. Then we'll see.”
He looked at me from the side and then suddenly stopped in a parking lot and turned off the engine. I was confused.
“What are you doing? Why are we stopping here?”
“Just wait, I have a little surprise planned. I'll be right back.”
Then Karl got out of the Mustang and just left me in the parking lot.
I was confused, what was going on? All right, I'd just wait for Karl to come back. It only took a few minutes and I could see Karl coming back. He was not alone, but he had Stef with him. That was a surprise. I got out of the Mustang and went to meet them, Stef had a smile on his face. It was a great sight. We came together about twenty meters from the car and Stef just hugged me.
“Luc, I'm really happy. What a surprise.”
“Stef, for me too. I'm just as happy. Do you go to school here?”
He looked at me and his eyes lit up.
“Yes, Luc, this is my school and I think it's great that you're picking me up.”
Karl stood next to us and explained that Stef would come to the workshop with us this afternoon and watch us at work. That was good news. We got back into the Mustang and Karl drove straight back to the company. On the way, we talked about Stef's situation and how he was doing in the residential group. He was staying there with four other boys and actually everyone was quite nice. The educators were also very keen to make Stef's stay there as pleasant as possible. But I could tell that he missed his brother. He didn't know about this surprise yet. We soon returned to the company and Karl drove the Mustang directly to the transfer area. So Mario couldn't have known that his brother had come with us,
Stef was really euphoric, it was his first time at the place where his brother worked. Karl had asked me to take Stef and Mario on a tour. First, we both went towards the workshop. Stef walked next to me and I noticed that he kept looking at me.
“Luc, I'm really happy that Mr. Geiger allowed me to spend an afternoon with you. Hopefully Mario will feel the same way.”
“Of course he will, Stef, Mario will definitely be happy. I think it's great, anyway.”
We arrived at work in a good mood. Mario had already driven another vehicle onto the lift. He still hadn't noticed us. Stef was really on edge. I took a few steps forward and addressed Mario.
“So, I'm back. What do we have to do to the car?”
“Ah, Luc. How was the test drive? Was everything okay?”
“Yes, it was really good. Everything's fine. We've brought you a surprise.”
He looked at me and his face was simply magnificent. The moment he recognized his brother, his eyes widened. He almost jumped onto his brother. They hugged and the rest of the afternoon was really extremely funny. We had a lot of fun and Karl also sent us out again and again to get something from somewhere in the company, so Stef also got to know the company better. He was visibly impressed and pleased that his brother had such a great employer. Unfortunately, the day at the company also came to an end and Stef was a little sad because he had to go back to the group. Karl had suggested that we take him back together and stay there a little longer. We did that and so I also got to know all the other boys in the group. We were invited by the teacher on duty to stay for dinner. That was a good opportunity to talk to everyone.
However, I realized that I was just incredibly lucky with my family. What the other boys told me about why they ended up there shocked me. Mario was also very quiet. He became very pensive because he realized that his and Stef's fate was unfortunately not an isolated one. Two of the other boys had even experienced abuse. They were only twelve and thirteen years old. That was an absolute nightmare for me and I felt very reminded of Benny. It became clear to me that both Mario and Stef needed support. I wanted to do my part.
Stef even seemed relaxed, he could laugh again and he always made sure that I was close to him. I didn't feel uncomfortable at all, on the contrary. I was happy for him. We really had a few very nice hours. And when we said goodbye to everyone around nine o'clock, Stef came down to Mario's car.
“Luc, thank you very much for this great day. I enjoyed it very much. Will you come and visit me again?”
He looked at me very expectantly and Mario didn't seem sure how to react either. For me, however, the situation was clear.
“Sure, probably this weekend, what do you think, Mario?”
“We discussed that, but don't you have to work tomorrow?”
Damn, that was right. I had promised Karl to make a draft for a customer with Michael. All right, then we would have to postpone it to Sunday or Saturday afternoon.
“Yes, you're right. I have to work until noon. But after that we could do something together.”
This put Stef in an almost euphoric mood. He gave me a big hug, and that was that. We would spend Sunday together.
Mario and I went home together, and while Mario took a shower, I talked to Mick on the phone. He was happy to hear my voice and promised to come by with Lukas on Sunday as well. It wasn't as far for them to come to Munich. An hour's drive by car.
I stopped by Karl and Barbara's living room.
“Hello Luc, did you have a nice evening at Stefan's in the group?”
“Yes, it was really great. Stef was in a really good mood and we laughed a lot. By the way, I was on the phone with Mick and Lukas. They're coming to visit me on Sunday. We want to do something together, with Mario and Stefan. Is that okay with you?”
“Of course, that's a good idea. It's bound to be a big help for Mario too. See to it that your two brothers talk to him too, that it's always important to look ahead, even in difficult times. Lukas surely knows how that feels.”
I was very happy that evening when I went to bed. I had seen a happy Stef for the first time and I was looking forward to Sunday as well. I would finally see my big brothers again.
Saturday began with a small change to the other days. Karl took me with him to the company and so I didn't need to take the S-Bahn. Michael was already expecting us at work. We briefly discussed what the customer's request was and then Karl left us alone. He wanted to make a few more orders and look for vehicles in the US for some customers.
Michael had already explained the design program to me, so we each started on our own design. After about two hours of creative work, we had both come up with a design. Michael called Karl's office and asked us to come to his office. He wanted to look at our work there.
When we entered his office, he was on the phone with someone. We remained quiet until he had finished the call. His final words were just:
“All right, so I'll go look for the right car and you can come by later.”
After that, he devoted himself to our work. He looked at both designs for a new Camaro and after a short discussion with Michael, Karl looked at me and had made up his mind.
“Luc, I just like your design better for this customer. So please have the painter implement it.”
I was as happy as a sandboy. Karl noticed this and said to us:
“So, to start the weekend off well, I have a little reward for you, Luc. Michael, you can call it a day, thank you very much for your work. We'll keep the design for later customers.”
Michael said goodbye to us and Karl asked me to accompany him.
“So, Luc. You deserve a real reward. I've also thought of something special. Last week we were in the gravel pit and you moved a car there for the first time. Today we will move on the road with a corresponding car. Today you will be able to drive our new ZR1 on a closed route. What do you think? Do you fancy it?”
I was totally confused. What had Karl just said? I was allowed to drive a ZR1. And had he asked me if I wanted to? What a question, of course I wanted to. But I was really scared too. Because the ZR1 from Geiger was one of the most powerful and fastest street-legal cars in Germany. It had already won several awards.
Karl grinned and just said:
“Well, the way you look, you seem to fancy it.”
I just nodded and he just took me with him and we went towards a garage that was a bit out of the way on the premises. He took a radio transmitter out of his pocket and one of the gates slowly opened. He went into the garage and an angry-sounding V8 came to life. Karl slowly taxied out of the garage. An impressive machine. Karl motioned for me to get in. I buckled up and then we taxied out of the yard.
A few minutes later, we were standing at a small sports airport outside Munich. Karl and I were standing next to the Corvette and he had explained the details of the conversion to me. He opened the driver's door for me and now I was supposed to take a seat in the driver's seat. I sat down and Karl adjusted the seat for me. I buckled up and Karl sat down next to me.
“So? Are you nervous?”
“Absolutely! Are you sure I can do this? And is it really impossible for something to happen?”
“I believe in you and I know you can do it. You just have to do what I say. Don't worry, it'll be fun.”
Then he explained the sequential gearshift to me again and pressed one or two buttons, and some new symbols lit up on the display.
“What do the symbols mean? Is something wrong?”
I was starting to feel a little hot-headed. Karl just smiled and said:
“Everything's fine, I've just turned on the driving aids. ESP and traction control. That'll make it easier for you.”
“Ah ok, a good idea. And now?”
“Now turn the key until all the control lights come on and you can hear the fuel pumps. When the pumps stop, press the red start button.”
So I did, and then a huge thunder shook the interior. I was a little frightened. Karl showed me the thumb and that I should put in the first gear. I stepped on the clutch and pulled on the gearshift lever, it popped and I wanted to start. I let the clutch come with a little gas and... silence. Stalled. I got a really red head. Karl laughed. He calmed me down and explained that I should accelerate more. Second attempt and it worked. We rolled along the runway. After a few very slow laps on the closed runway, I became more and more confident and it started to be fun. Karl grinned wider and wider and after a quarter of an hour he wanted me to go a little faster. I accelerated and the monster roared. A primeval force pushed the Corvette forward. On a straight stretch, I was already very fast by my standards. But that was probably a misperception, because in the middle of the straight, a red Ferrari shot past us. I was terribly frightened because I hadn't seen it coming. Karl noticed my reaction and was shaking with laughter.
I stopped the car and I wasn't so comfortable anymore.
“What was that? I thought we were alone here. I didn't even see him.”
Karl just grinned and said,
“It looked like a 458. And a driver who knows what he's doing.”
“Anyway, he drives pretty fast. So what now? What should I do?”
“Why do you ask? Just keep driving. He can overtake us if we're too slow.”
So I started the engine again and drove off. After a few minutes I had forgotten about the Ferrari again, because I had to concentrate fully on the track. I didn't even have a look at the instruments. But it was fun. A great feeling to be behind the wheel myself.
We approached the end of the track and there was the Ferrari on the side. When I passed him after the turn, he got behind us and followed us. He stayed behind us the whole time, which made me nervous. Karl noticed my uneasiness and gave me the command to stop. I stopped and turned off the engine.
“What's the matter, Luc? Why are you so restless?”
“The Ferrari has been behind me the whole time, why is that?” ”I'm scared something's going to happen.”
Karl started laughing terribly, then said we should swap seats. There was no sign of the Ferrari. Now Karl switched off all the driving aids and revved up the engine.
“Now let's see if the guy in the Ferrari can still stay behind us so easily.”
What followed was a demonstration of the Corvette's performance. It had so much power that we broke the 300 km/h mark, but the Ferrari stayed with us. It seemed like Karl really enjoyed competing with the Ferrari. After another three fast laps, Karl turned off the track and turned off the car. We got out and the red racer was nowhere to be seen. Karl let me take the wheel again after a few minutes. Now he showed me how to drive backwards. Suddenly the Ferrari appeared next to us again. The driver parked right next to us. I was really starting to get annoyed. What did he want from us?
“Come on Luc, I think the driver wants to meet us. Turn off the engine and then let's see what he wants from us.”
I turned off the engine, unbuckled my seat belt and we got out. At that moment, the door of the Ferrari opened and I turned pale. What was this about? I could only manage one word as the driver got out:
“Dad?”
“Hello, son, I see you have a good driving instructor. Are you enjoying driving with the American?”
I just couldn't believe it. I stormed over to my dad and gave him a big hug. He had definitely pulled off the surprise. He laughed and patted me on the head.
“You probably didn't expect that, I talked to Karl on the phone and he thought it might be a good idea if I came. The situation is a bit complicated after all. So I set out, and I also have something else to discuss with you two. We can take care of that too. Are you happy?”
“Oh man, Dad. Yes, I'm very happy. I didn't expect that at all.”
I was totally excited and it was just great. Dad had gotten into his car and driven here without thinking about it for long. He wanted to drive back on Monday. He would spend the weekend with me. We drove to the Geiger's house and there Barbara and Karl brought him up to date. Mario was still on the road and didn't know about the unexpected visit.
Dad had listened to everything calmly and I had also contributed a lot to the conversation, then he took a deep breath.
“First of all, Luc, I'm proud of you. You have once again shown that you take responsibility when you have to. I think that's great. Even when you found Stefan in that terrible state, you took him with you and then asked Barbara for help. That was exactly the right thing to do. Tell me, how are Stefan and Mario doing now?”
It felt so good. Dad had praised me and thought I had done the right thing. I told him that Mario and I had been to his living group yesterday and what we had discussed. I also mentioned that Mick and Lukas would be coming tomorrow and that we wanted to do something together. Above all, the three of us, Mario, Stef and I, wanted to cook something for everyone at lunchtime. Dad was very pleased with this development and so I felt much more relieved. Dad was here and would support me. A really great feeling.
Actually, I had wanted to call Mario now to tell him that Dad had come here, but he didn't answer his cell phone. So it happened that he came back some time later and I was sitting in the kitchen with Dad and the Geigers, talking about the situation. Karl also reported on my work during the internship. What he said about me made me blush repeatedly. He praised me to the skies and then the door opened and Mario stood in the doorway with his mouth open.
Dad reacted very quickly and said:
“Hello, you must be Mario. I'm Luc's dad. I just wanted to see if my son was okay.”
Mario was speechless. He didn't dare say anything at first. It took him a few moments to find his voice again.
“Hello Mr. Steevens, I... am pleased to meet you.”
He shook my father's hand and Barbara asked Mario to join us. My dad had quickly managed to break down Mario's inhibitions. We had a great conversation. I was very curious to see how this situation would develop. But I knew one thing: it would certainly be easier for me to deal with this situation now. And I would be able to become close friends with Stef. Dad had signaled to me that I should follow my feelings.