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1
During the lunch break, 19-year-old Luka Wilke was sitting with his fellow student Frank on the lawn of the university campus in Cologne. Luka was 178 cm tall, had short blond hair with light blond highlights, blue eyes and was very slender. He lived with his parents in Krefeld, about 50 km away, and took the train to Cologne to attend university every day. His father was a self-employed tax consultant and auditor.
They enjoyed the last warm rays of sunshine and watched the people.
It was the beginning of October and both had just started their studies in economics and law.
Until recently, Luka had only known the small world of the grammar school in his hometown, but here at university he had to learn to think in different dimensions, everything was much bigger.
He had become a little friendly with Frank through their shared course of study.
Frank was a little shorter than him, had dark hair and brown eyes and was rather delicately built. As soon as he was accepted for a place at Cologne University, he moved into a room in a shared flat that he had found through an acquaintance. Frank had settled in really well here in Cologne.
While they were sitting comfortably on the lawn and unpacking the food they had brought with them, their eyes fell on two young men cuddling a little way from them.
“Cute, aren't they?“ Frank asked when he saw Lukas' dreamy look.
“They don't seem to have a problem showing themselves openly here,” Luka noted, taking a hearty bite of his bread.
“No, why should they?”
“Well, at my old school, the teachers would have come and pulled them apart long ago.”
“Were you at a convent school or what?” Frank looked at him in horror.
“No, not that, but the teachers were still very strict and
concerned about ‘morals and order’.”
“Oh man, that's all ancient history now. At my old school, we 'homos' didn't need to hide.”
Luka looked at Frank in disbelief, but Frank beamed broadly.
“Oops, well, now you know. I hope that's not a problem for you. I'll always try not to let it show too much. But you don't have to be afraid that I'll attack you at any moment or anything like that. I'm more into the big, strong guys who hold me in their strong arms, you know,” he then described his tastes somewhat campily.
“Yes, I understand. So you're more of a bottom?” Luka replied as a matter of course, put the last piece of bread in his mouth and chewed on it with relish.
There was a short pause.
Frank looked at him in disbelief.
“Wait a minute, what do you know about bottoms? A straight guy doesn't care who's top or bottom, he's always active. Are you...?“ he asked, visibly confused.
“Well, you just find out stuff,” he said, looking at the floor. “What's the internet for? I'm not so sure if I'm into guys too...” He slowly raised his head and looked at Frank again. “I mean, it's never been that great with girls, but with a boy? I just don't know. I could imagine it.”
Frank looked at him for a while, then asked bluntly:
“What do you feel when you touch a girl?”
“Well, I, um, . . . when I was with a girl, I didn't feel much. Well, maybe I've never really been in love. The other guys always talked about how great it is to sleep with a girl. Well, I never really liked it that much.”
He had slept with a few girls, but had never had a steady girlfriend or been truly in love.
When he and his buddies from school went out to the Krefeld discos
, it was always just about getting the girls laid as quickly as possible. Luka was very popular with the girls, he was good-looking and was one of the few guys who liked to dance, which of course made it much easier for him to get girls.
But for some time now, this girl-hitting had lost its appeal for Luka. It was always the same, without love and feeling, it was always just about the one.
“And with boys?“ Now Frank wanted to know exactly.
“Well, with boys... when I see the two over there, it looks incredibly beautiful.” He nodded to the two boys who were kissing very intimately.
“For me, the feeling would be most important. I would have to really fall in love, that's what I've been missing so far. Without feelings, it's always the same with a boy. Then it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl.”
“You've never tried it with a boy, have you?” Frank continued to probe.
Luka shook his head in embarrassment.
“Why not? You look really cute. You must have had plenty of opportunities.” Frank had now finished eating too and put the empty can in his backpack.
“I... I've never been alone, always with friends from class. When we saw gays, they made stupid jokes and stuff. It's clear that I won't get to know anyone better to try anything.”
Frank thought for a moment, then said:
“Hey, what do you think about you just going to Brothers with me on Friday? It's a club for gays. You might find that really hot guy there that you want to try something with. Just come with me.”
“Do you think so? But I don't want to go to bed with someone right away.” Luka ran his fingers uncertainly through his short blonde hair.
“You don't have to. You're just checking it out.”
“Well, I'd like to come,” the blonde considered aloud.
“Then it's settled. You can also crash at our place. We still have a room available, so you don't have to take the train back to Krefeld at night.”
“That would be really great. Then I could drive back in peace on Saturday.”
A glance at his watch told him that the next lecture would start soon.
“We have to go back in slowly.” They packed up their things and made their way to their lecture room.
“Oh yes, before I forget, almost only gays live in the shared flat. So don't be shocked.”
“No, no, it's okay. No problem.”
When Luka lay in bed that evening, he thought about the coming weekend. He was happy that Frank wanted to take him with him. In his thoughts, the two boys he had seen on the university campus again appeared. He caught himself wishing he were one of them.
He wished he could find someone with whom he could be so intimate and loving.
As loving and affectionate as they were with each other.
Back in reality, he stroked his body to fulfill his desires at least in part. His hand slowly moved down and disappeared into his boxer shorts.
...
A few minutes later, he got up to take a shower.
As agreed, Luka went to Frank's place after the last lecture on Friday.
Frank had already told his roommates that he had a guest that day, and Cora had already prepared the guest room.
Cora was the only female resident of the shared flat. She took care of the
large household, did the laundry, kept the shared rooms clean, did the weekly shopping and provided rich and balanced meals every day.
She had attended several courses on healthy
nutrition and housekeeping and ran the large household with an
an iron hand, but in return she lived rent-free and received a decent salary
from the community fund.
Today, Cora had once again prepared a delicious dinner.
One by one, the residents arrived and took a seat at the large dining table in the middle of the spacious kitchen. Frank introduced them all individually. There were Oli, Dominik and Sven, who lived on the top floor, then Markus and Kai from the first floor and Cora, Simon and Frank himself lived on the ground floor in the annex. Simon only nibbled briefly, however, as he had arranged to meet his friend Nicolas for dinner.
Luka was greeted warmly by everyone and immediately felt very welcome.
“Can we start?“ Markus asked, who seemed to be the hungriest and was already waving his fork around impatiently.
“Yes, sure, enjoy it. Bon appetit,” Cora replied, sat down at the table and passed the bowls around. The others also murmured “Enjoy your meal” back to her and everyone dug in. They had a great time during the meal, some told the latest jokes or just fooled around. Luka hadn't laughed as much as he did today in a long time.
When the boys were finally full and satisfied, Frank said, “Well, then we'll get dressed up soon for the Brothers.”
“Well, then we'll definitely see each other,“ several of them replied in unison.
“Yes, but slowly. I'm totally stuffed now. It was super tasty, thank you very much.” Despite being very slim, Luka had a good appetite and always ate plenty. Sometimes he felt like he was a glutton, but when he liked something, he could eat quite a bit.
They were still sitting comfortably with 'the cup of coffee afterwards' when suddenly the front door opened and an incredibly good-looking black-haired man entered the kitchen. He was wearing dark jeans and a light blue shirt over them.
“Hi guys.”
Cora jumped up immediately: “Hello Tom, are you hungry? Shall I make you something warm?”
“No thanks, I'm fine. I've already eaten.” His eyes wandered from bowl to bowl and he sniffed: ‘Mmm! You can leave me a portion for tomorrow's lunch before you freeze the leftovers, can't you? But I would like a coffee.’ Tom sat down at the big table.
“Yes, of course, I'd like that. Don't you have to go to the hospital tomorrow?”
“Yes, but I'm on late duty.”
“Great, then you can sleep in for a change.” Cora got him a cup and filled it with coffee and a spoonful of sugar, just the way he liked it.
During the whole conversation, Luka only looked at Tom. He couldn't look away, he was blown away by this Tom. His pleasant voice, his movements, everything fascinated him.
Tom was 182 cm tall and slim, had black hair, thick eyebrows, a slight dimple on his chin and dark green eyes. He looked kindly at Luka.
“Hello, so you're Frank's college friend he's been telling me about. I'm Tom.”
“Hello,“ was all Luka could manage. He was totally captivated by those dark green eyes that were now looking into his blue ones.
“Aren't you coming?” Frank dragged him back to reality.
“What?... Oh yes, I'm coming.”
Frank showed him the bathroom and the guest room on the first floor so that he could get ready.
After Luka had showered, styled his short hair with a little gel, put on a pair of jeans and a fresh T-shirt, he went back downstairs and waited for Frank. It took him much longer to get ready in a pair of tight, light-colored leather pants and a colorful shirt in the living area. Since the club was not very far away, they set off on foot,
When they entered the “Brothers”, there was already a good atmosphere there. It was a relatively small club with a rather colorful decoration, but not too kitschy.
Current music was played and the small dance floor was well filled.
Frank first led Luka to the corner where the people from the shared flat usually met.
The new face was immediately scrutinized by Luigi, a tall Italian with shoulder-length black hair, who also immediately seized the opportunity and approached the two. Frank had spent a night with him some time ago, so he gave Luka a brief sign that he should be careful, since Luigi was just looking for someone for one night. Luigi was good-looking, but he knew that and behaved accordingly arrogantly. However, he didn't impress Luka with that and he didn't get involved in anything. Soon the Italian lost interest in him and went back to his table.
Little by little some of the other residents arrived and joined them. Since Luka loved to dance, he let Frank drag him onto the dance floor. Markus and Oli followed them too.
During the course of the evening, other guys came and tried their luck with various flirting attempts. It felt good to be approached by others, to flirt a little, to chat and get to know people; Luka enjoyed it.
But Luka actually wanted to take it easy and not jump into bed with someone on the first night. Besides, he always had the image of this Tom in the back of his mind with those incredibly green eyes, and no one could compare.
When they were back at their table in the corner, Frank seemed to have seen an acquaintance and just said, “I'll be right back,” and disappeared. The others from the flat share were all out and about or on the dance floor. So Luka was left standing alone at the table.
Shortly afterwards, a tall, strong guy stood next to Luka.
“Hi, I'm Jo, I've never seen you here before. You look really cute. What's your name?“ He started flirting.
“I'm Luka,” he replied curtly. He didn't like the guy at all.
Jo really wanted to dance with him, made him compliments and explicit offers. But for Luka's taste, he was much too intrusive and ugly to boot.
Jo kept touching him, stroking his arm, getting very close and trying to give him a kiss, but Luka blocked. He took a step back to get some distance, looked around for help, but Frank was nowhere to be seen.
And Jo came closer again.
Luka was already in a tight spot, Jo was getting more and more intrusive. Luka didn't know how to get rid of the guy without making a scene.
In the meantime, Tom had also arrived at the club. He was standing at the bar, talking to the bartender, and saw that the blonde guy Frank had brought with him was being harassed. He could also see that the blonde guy obviously didn't want that. He watched the game for a while until he couldn't stand it anymore and came to Luka's aid. He stood behind him and put his arms around him.
He felt two protective arms around his upper body and Tom whispered in his ear: “Just play along.”
Loudly he heard Tom's warm voice: ‘Hello my angel, have you been waiting long?”
Luka got the message and said, ’Yes, much too long, but now you're here.”
He thought to himself, <If only you knew how close that is to the truth.>
He just enjoyed the moment and snuggled up against the body behind him, but he knew that it was all just a game. But it felt veeeery good.
“Oh, so that's how it is! Why didn't you say you were with the doc?” With that, the guy left immediately.
Tom slowly released Luka.
“Here you always have to be very clear about what you want and what you don't want, otherwise you'll just be steamrollered and regret it afterwards. You should remember that.”
“Yeah, thanks for the help.”
Luka regretted that the hug was unfortunately over already. He would have liked to have leaned on the taller guy a little longer. But then he remembered something.
“It doesn't look that believable anymore. We could dance together.” He grinned cheekily at Tom.
The latter shook his head with a grin: ‘You learn fast. But you're right. Let's dance.’ Tom couldn't explain to himself why he was doing this; it wasn't really his style to interfere like that. But somehow he liked the boy.
Luka followed Tom onto the dance floor. Since fast dance music was being played, they moved loosely next to each other and kept looking at each other. During the piece, the small dance floor kept getting fuller. When the DJ played a slower song, Tom tried to get back to their corner, but he didn't succeed because they were already too wedged in. Without thinking twice, he put his arms around Luka and pulled him close. At first, Luka looked a bit surprised and didn't quite know what to do with his arms. Tom had to help a little and put them on his shoulders, and so they moved to the slow music.
“You've probably never danced with a man before, hmm?” Tom asked, very close to Luka's ear.
“No, this is the first time.”
“But you like men, don't you?“ Warm breath brushed against him and gave him goosebumps.
“Yes, I, um... I think so,” Luka stammered somewhat uncertainly.
“Hey, what about clear answers?”
“I'm just trying to figure out if I like this.”
“Do you like what you've experienced so far, or is it rather a deterrent?”
“Well, dancing with you here, I think that's very nice.”
“Aha, that's something.”
Tom pulled Luka a little closer to him and looked deep into his eyes the whole time. Luka just melted away, sinking into those deep, dark, green eyes. He let himself be pulled even closer to the other body, felt the warm breath on his neck and enjoyed this embrace.
His arms tightened around Tom's neck, he snuggled up close to the taller man and wished that this song would never end.
But much too quickly the slow music faded away and was followed by a faster song. The two of them broke away from each other and now went back to their table, where the others had gathered in the meantime.
While the two were still on the dance floor, Frank had come back to the table and saw the two dancing.
He couldn't believe it and just said, “That's not possible! Have you ever seen Tom on the dance floor like that?”
Everyone said no.
“And then with Luka, too. I can't believe it,” Frank fumed.
“Now calm down,” Markus replied. ”Maybe he's special. They've been dancing all night. What's the problem? Don't you want Tom to have a guy?”
“Of course, I've just never seen him dance so close with anyone. And then with Luka, of all people, this greenhorn, doesn't know his ass from his elbow, and then he goes and gets himself the cream of the crop.”
“Why greenhorn, he's the same age as you, isn't he?” Markus looked at him questioningly.
“Yes, but he says he doesn't even know if he's gay. He has no idea.”
“But he's doing quite well at it. It looks pretty gay to me.”
Then the two came back.
Luka was still on cloud nine and couldn't wipe the grin off his face. He really idolized Tom.
But he was chatting casually with his friends about all kinds of things and was soon approached by the club owner and disappeared with him.
Some time later, Luka and Frank also said goodbye and made their way home.
“How did you like the trip to the gay scene?” Frank asked when they had to wait at a traffic light.
“Great! I think I really like men more. I really liked dancing with Tom. It felt fantastic to be held by him,” Luka enthused with shining eyes.
“I believe you. Did you know that you've picked the most desirable guy in the whole scene? You should have seen the envious looks that were watching you, including mine. I would give a lot to dance so close with him and also more.”
“What? You're in love with Tom, too?” Luka stopped in shock and looked at Frank in horror.
“I wouldn't say in love, but I would like to have sex with him.”
“Oh! Does he know that? I mean, have you told him before?” Luka asked as they continued walking.
“Of course I have! Right at the beginning, when I just moved in, I was immediately taken with him. But he made it pretty clear to me pretty quickly that it wouldn't work. I would be much too young for him. Pah!”
Luka looked at him in shock, since he was even a little younger than Frank, then he asked: “Um, how old is Tom?”
“I think 27 or so.”
“Oh, I wouldn't have thought so.”
“At least he's already finished his studies. He already has his doctorate and works as an assistant doctor in a hospital. He's very ambitious and spends almost all of his free time on his project.”
When they arrived at the flat, they said good night. Luka got ready for bed and went to sleep right away.
He was still thinking about what he had just learned:
<If he has already rejected Frank, then I probably have no chance at all. But it felt so good to be hugged by him, pressed very close to his body and feel his warm breath on my neck. Oh, it was great. I want more of it.>
He hugged his blanket, snuggled down into it and slowly dozed off with these thoughts.
When Luka went downstairs for breakfast after he had freshened up the next morning, Tom was sitting alone at the large table, enjoying his coffee in peace.
“Hello, good morning Tom,“ Luka greeted him beaming with joy.
“Good morning, Luka,” Tom replied, “You're up early! The others are all still asleep. Coffee?”
“Yes, please. Where did you suddenly disappear to yesterday?” Luka sat down at the large table and looked forward to a conversation with Tom. He really wanted to get to know him better.
Tom poured him a coffee and took one for himself as well.
“The club owner's partner is one of my patients. I check on him from time to time, and yesterday he wasn't feeling well.”
“Are you going to be at the Brothers next weekend too?”
“Probably not, I'm on duty then.“ He added a spoonful of sugar to his coffee and stirred it.
“Oh, what a shame! I'd love to dance with you again.”
“You'd be better off finding a young man to dance with, someone who has a lot of time and is better suited to you,” the older man countered.
“But I really liked dancing with you.” Luka didn't give up so quickly, but Tom blocked him again.
“Don't fall in love with me. Find someone your own age to discover everything with. I'm way too old for you.”
After a short pause, Luka asked: ”Didn't you like dancing with me?”
“That's not fair. Now you're coming on to me. Yes, I liked dancing with you too, but it was a one-time thing, just forget it, I just wanted to help you. OK.”
With that, Tom got up, took the finished rolls out of the oven and started setting the table. The subject was closed for him.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, sure, thanks.” They set the table together, with sausage, cheese, jam, etc. It wasn't long before the first people arrived for breakfast. There was a lot of laughter and stories.
It was only around noon that Luka set off for home.
When he arrived, took off his jacket and shoes and greeted his mother, he was immediately ambushed by his seven-year-old brother Matthias.
“Where were you all night? I wanted to wake you up this morning, but you weren't there. I had to carry all the rolls by myself.”
“Oh, how awful, poor Matti, were they so heavy?” They sat down at the table immediately. ”I stayed overnight in Cologne, with friends, in a shared flat.”
It was already coffee time and his mother put a piece of homemade cake on each of their plates, knowing how much her sons liked it.
“What is a 'WeeGee'?” Matti asked with his mouth full.
“A shared flat is a flat where several people, for example several students, live together as in a large family. Everyone has their own room and everyone comes together in the kitchen and living room,“ he explained.
“Just the students? Without parents?” Matti looked at his brother in amazement.
“Yes, of course, without parents. People come from all over to study in Cologne and when they have finished their studies, they go back home or to where they can find a job. To keep costs down and to avoid being alone, they live together during their studies and share the costs. It's a great idea.” He talked a bit more about the meal together and how much fun they had and how great he thought it all was.
“Are you moving into the WeeGee too?“ Matti pushed the next piece of cake onto his plate. He could eat just as much as his brother and was just as thin.
“Me? No, I was just a guest there.” Luka took another piece too.
His mother had only listened so far.
“Well, you seem to have enjoyed it there. You're really raving about it,“ she interjected with a grin.
“Yes, I did. Not just in the flat share. We went to a club in the evening and had a lot of fun.” He didn't say anything more; he didn't want to tell his mother anything yet. He had to process what he had experienced himself first.
“Then you'll definitely do it again,” she noted with amusement.
“Yes, sure, if Frank takes me again.”
“But now you have to go skating with me at the In-Liner,” Matti whined impatiently after swallowing the last bite.
“OK, let's get ready and go for a ride. Let's see who's at the halfpipe.”
In the following week, Luka spent his lunch break with Frank several times.
They talked about everything.
On Saturday, he went as usual with his friends from the old school to their favorite disco in Krefeld.
As always, his buddies were only interested in picking up some girls. Luka also danced with several girls, but his interest was limited. He kept thinking back to what it was like to dance with Tom, to be held by him, to lean against his body. He didn't even notice how he kept pulling the girl he was dancing with closer and closer to him. But when she raised her head and waited for a kiss, Luka realized what he was doing. He turned his head to the side and waited for the song to end. Then he parted from the girl.
He stayed a little longer, but when the first boys disappeared with their new acquaintances, he also said goodbye and went home alone.
It became increasingly clear to him what he wanted.
He thought of Tom again. Even though he was a little disappointed that Tom had clearly rejected him the following morning, he thought longingly back to the dance and the embrace.
“He just looks fantastic, the full black hair, the crazy green eyes, the beautifully shaped mouth. What it must be like to feel those lips kissing me?”
He felt quite warm at the thought.
On Sunday morning, he was woken up as usual by his little brother so that they could get rolls together. After a long, leisurely breakfast with his parents, he retired to his room to study. He wanted to look up a few things on the internet for his studies.
After working through various legal texts, he surfed through some gay sites and found one on which the most diverse terms and practices were explained accurately and objectively without being pornographic.
When he shut down his computer that evening, he was a lot smarter.
On Monday at noon, Frank and Luka went to the cafeteria together.
“Did you have a nice weekend?” Frank asked as they sat down at a free table with their trays full of food.
“Well, it was okay. I went to our club with a few friends.”
“So? Did you meet someone nice?“ Frank was terribly curious as always.
“No, it was pretty boring. I went home quite early. Did you?”
“Yes! My weekend was successful, if you know what I mean.” He grinned and winked with one eye.
“Was it good?”
“It was great. I had really hot sex. I think I'll have the guy more often, if he wants me to, but I think so. He said we could meet again. Well, we'll see,” he said aloud, poking at his food.
“You're not really into relationships, love, loyalty and stuff like that?” Luka didn't like the taste of it either, but hunger drove him to eat.
“No, not really. I want to enjoy my youth and take what I can get. You're old way too fast and then you've missed out. That reminds me! Do you have plans next weekend? I'm turning 20 on Saturday and having a small party. Just a few people, about twenty if everyone who has accepted comes. Do you fancy it? You can, of course, sleep at our place again.”
“Yes, of course I fancy it. What can I bring you?”
“A super-hot bodybuilder who fucks me all night long,” laughed Frank, ”No, nonsense! Something to drink is enough, that's fine.”
“What do you like to drink?”
“Vodka with orange juice! But feel free to bring something you like too.”
“Got it... Will Tom be there too?” Luka asked it casually, but he really wished he would be.
“I think he's off then, too. I wanted to ask him anyway, if he's coming, too.” Frank looked at Luka skeptically. ”You're really interested in Tom, aren't you?”
“Um, well, kind of. I danced with several girls on Saturday, but it was nothing compared to Tom.”
“Oh man, don't get your hopes up,” Frank said, ”Don't get me wrong, but Tom's not an easy guy to get close to. I mean, I never held it against him for not wanting me back then. I prefer big muscles anyway. But I've never seen him with a guy either. You know what I mean! Not one he brought home, not a one-night stand, nothing.”
“But he is gay, isn't he?” He looked at Frank uncertainly.
“Yes, he goes to various gay clubs regularly and he danced with you, didn't he? I also overheard something from an earlier guy when he was talking to Cora. She has known him longer.”
Unfortunately, they didn't have much time to chat because they had to go to the next lecture. Before that, they took away their trays.
On Wednesday, Luka didn't go straight home as usual, but let Frank persuade him to go to a gay-friendly cafe with him after university. They entered 'Casa–Casi' and looked for a free table. Frank had already mentioned that the owner was gay.
While they were drinking their coffee, Luka looked around curiously. He thought he recognized the two guys from university, but wasn't quite sure.
“Aren't those the two guys we watched the other day?”
“Yes, sure, that's Mark and Pascal,” Frank confirmed while sipping his coffee.
“What, you know them too? You didn't say that.”
“Of course I know them! Pascal is studying computer science with Kai. You know Kai by now, he lives with us. You know, I didn't want to shock you like that. But since you're one of us now, too. Should we sit down with them?”
“Um, if you think so.”
Frank rose energetically, took his coffee and went to the two.
Luka followed him with his cup in his hand.
Frank introduced them to each other. They talked for quite a while about the university, professors and other students.
Pascal told of their jobs as a waiter and bouncer at the Nightlight, a large nightclub, etc.
They didn't even notice how time passed and Luka was about to make his way to the station soon.
Then the door opened and Tom entered the café. Lukas heart skipped a beat and then started beating much faster. Tom looked incredibly handsome again. He was wearing jeans again, this time with a T-shirt and a dark sports coat over it. Very well-groomed and somehow like something out of a fashion magazine, it seemed to Luka. He couldn't take his eyes off him and followed every step and every movement of Tom. He didn't hear what was being said at the table anymore, he just watched Tom.
He went to the bar first, greeted the manager and chatted with him. Then he looked around and spotted some other acquaintances and spoke to them too.
After a while, he came over to them and sat down at the table.
Lukas' heartbeat quickened again promptly.
Tom also knew Mark and Pascal, of course, because he also regularly visited the Nightlight.
They talked about the coming weekend, when Tom wanted to go there again.
They chatted about everything and after a while Tom stood up:
“Well, now I have to go home. Cora wants to go shopping with the car. Are you coming with us, Frank, or are you staying here?”
“Oh yes, I'll come!” Frank was pleased with the offer to come home comfortably. ‘Luka, you wanted to leave soon, too.”
“Yes, my train to Krefeld leaves in half an hour,’ Luka replied after looking at his watch.
“Then we can take you to the station, we're almost passing it. Is that okay, Tom?” Frank kindly suggested.
“Yes, sure, no problem. We'll let you out on the way.”
When they arrived at Tom's car a little later, they were quite shocked to see his black SUV. It was completely blocked by garbage cans.
“This can't be true. They weren't there before. Can't they see the emergency doctor sign on my car? How am I supposed to get out of there now?” Tom stood helplessly in front of his Rover, desperately looking for a solution. Frank also ran around helplessly.
Only Luka grinned slightly to himself and said, “It's quite simple! Frank and I will move the bins, you drive out and we'll put the bins back.”
“Yes, of course! That's the best option.”
And that's exactly what they did. Then Tom drove to the train station to take Luka to his train. They thanked each other for everything and said goodbye.
The rest of the week was relatively quiet, with no special events. Luka went to university during the day and worked at his father's tax office in the afternoons. He had actually started doing this a few years ago to earn some pocket money. In the beginning, he only did the filing, but over time, his responsibilities grew. He gained insights into almost all areas. He enjoyed his work and had decided to do it professionally later in any case.
As he sat on the train after university on Friday, his best friend from school called him on his cell phone. Alex lived in the neighborhood, they had known each other since kindergarten, were in the same class at high school and spent weekends and many evenings together.
“Hey Luka, are you coming out with us tonight?”
“Hi Alex, no, I can't tonight, my parents have tickets for the theater and I have to stay with Matti.”
“Tomorrow then?”
“Um, I can't tomorrow either. I've been invited to Cologne.”
“Oh, so that's it, you've got new friends now, so you don't have time for us anymore, huh?” Alex sounded a little offended.
“That's total nonsense. We can do something together during the week, go to the movies or something.”
“Yeah, if you feel like it.”
“I'm always free in the evenings during the week, you know that. How about Tuesday?”
“Yeah, sure. We can go for a drink afterwards.”
“Sure, let's do that. See you then.”
So Luka spent the evening with Matti, various snacks and some cartoons.
After having breakfast with his parents the next morning, he prepared something for university.
Then it was time and he got ready. Luka's family lived in a detached house in a suburb of Krefeld. Since the bus connections from his parents' house to the train station were very inconvenient, he drove, as always, to the Krefeld train station in his old Golf, which he had received from his grandparents for his 18th birthday, and then continued by train to Cologne.
He had two bottles of vodka, three bottles of his favorite wine and a change of clothes in his backpack.
“That's quite a load to carry,” he thought on the last stretch to the villa, which he had to cover on foot. He was glad when he finally arrived.
Of course, the first thing he did was greet the birthday boy and give him a hug, saying, ”Happy birthday.”
But Frank wasn't satisfied with that. He grabbed Luka by the chin, kissed him on the mouth and pulled him powerfully towards him.
Luka was a bit surprised, opened his eyes wide and looked directly into the dark, green eyes of Tom, who was standing a little behind Frank and wished for nothing more than to be embraced and kissed by him.
When Frank let go of him, Luka looked away, embarrassed.
“Um, so where can I put these things?” he then asked.
“What things?”
He grabbed the backpack and took out the bottles.
“These things!”
“Oh, you really brought vodka, thanks, and... wine??? You brought wine?” Frank was surprised.
“Yes, I really like this wine. Is there something wrong with it?”
“Yes, sure, if you drink it. I don't think anyone else drinks wine here.”
Cora, who had been watching the whole thing, intervened: “Yes, Tom and I do drink wine!” Tom had heard his name and now came to them.
“That's right, but it depends. It shouldn't be too sweet. What kind of wine is it?” he wanted to know, then took a bottle and read the label.
“It's from Tuscany and not very sweet, rather fruity,” Luka explained. ‘We always go there on vacation and the winery is nearby. My father buys various wines there, but I like this one best. You can try it right away.’ Luka looked again into those fascinating green eyes and his heart beat up to his throat.
“Yes, I'd like that. Shouldn't we slowly get everything ready here, Frank?” Tom called to work. ‘Otherwise your guests will arrive and nothing will be ready.”
“Yes, master or rather slave driver,’ Frank grumbled, but got started right away.
All those present helped with the preparations, so they were quickly finished. In the kitchen, the food was set up as a buffet, Cora had been able to fully develop her cooking skills. In the living area, there was enough seating and standing room, and glasses and drinks were also available in abundance.
Unfortunately, it was already too cool to celebrate outside. Besides, it just started to rain.
A little later, the first guests arrived. Luka didn't know many of them, but that didn't matter; all that mattered to him was that Tom was there.
“Shall we open the first bottle?“ He looked at Tom expectantly.
“Yes, let's try the wine. Cora, where's the corkscrew?” Tom looked around searchingly.
“I put it right next to the bottles. But you can open it, can't you?“ she said reproachfully, grinned at him and filled the prepared salads into the appropriate bowls.
“Well, let's give it a try. Will you do it?” he asked Luka. “I'm sometimes a bit clumsy with things like that. I always break the cork.”
“Okay. I've uncorked quite a few wine bottles.” He took the bottle, opened it skillfully, and poured two glasses.
He handed one to Tom and said, ‘Cheers.’ They clinked glasses and Tom took a sip.
“Mhmmm, that tastes really good. I think I could get used to this.”
“Great, then we'll easily manage the three bottles,” beamed Luka.
As the evening progressed, the bottles became emptier and the guests more and more tipsy. There was a lot of laughter, a few games and, of course, the alcohol consumption helped to keep the mood quite relaxed. Luka kept glancing at Tom. Luka kept wondering how he did it: He was only wearing jeans and a shirt and still looked so great. He talked to one person, then to the other. He seemed to know almost everyone here. From time to time he came to refill his wine glass.
At some point Cora addressed him: “May I have some of the wine too?”
“Yes, of course.” Luka took a glass and filled it for Cora. As she tasted the wine, ”You've been watching him all evening!”
“I'm allowed to look, right, or is that bad?”
“Of course not, many others do that too. But he doesn't let anyone get close to him.” Cora sighed deeply. ”I hope for him that he soon meets the right person and then doesn't immediately scare them away with his dismissive manner.”
“You mean, if you're persistent enough, you might have a chance.”
Luka's hopes began to rise a little.
“No, not quite. I don't mean it that way. It has to be a “click” with Tom, and he has to go for it, you know. I've met a few very nice guys who were totally in love with him and really very persistent, but they kept running into a brick wall with Tom, so to speak.”
“You've known him for a long time, then?” Luka asked cautiously.
“Yes, a long time. We met for the first time in his first year at university. Without him, I probably wouldn't be alive anymore.”
Cora sipped her wine again.
“Were you sick?”
“Something like that. I tried to kill myself.”
“Oh... I'm, um, sorry, I...” he stammered, embarrassed.
“There's no need to be uncomfortable. Now I don't want it anymore. I was raped and couldn't deal with it, so I took drugs and didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to live anymore. Tom showed me that life can still be beautiful. Thanks to therapy and Tom's support, I'm off the stuff, luckily I don't have any consequential damage, and I'm doing great. Thanks to Tom.”
“You are very close?” he asked.
“Tom is the most important person in my life. He dragged me through withdrawal, so to speak, experienced all the ups and downs with me, built me up again after setbacks, celebrated the successes with me, everything. I love him for that and I'll do anything for him. He has given my life meaning again. I run the household here and take care of everything so that he has time for his studies and so on. He is a very compassionate, loving person if you look past his hard shell.”
As if Tom had heard that they were talking about him, he came over to the two of them, put an arm around Cora, kissed her on the temple and asked, “So, everything okay, my little one?”
“Yes, sure, big guy.”
“Do you still have any wine left?” he asked Luka. ”Is that the last bottle already?”
“Yes, I just opened it. We've almost finished the three bottles already.”
He filled Tom's glass up again and topped up his own glass too.
“Luckily it's only wine, if it was vodka, we'd probably be under the table by now,“ Luka joked, looking deep into Tom's green eyes.
“Yeah, or we'd be slurring in some corner,” Tom agreed, laughing and returning Luka's gaze.
Cora looked from Luka to Tom and back again in amazement.
Slowly, the other guests said goodbye and some of the flatmates had already retired. Luka was also getting tired; the wine was having an effect. He wasn't drunk, but he was quite elated. He helped clear away the last bits and pieces, collecting the empty bottles and glasses, then he went upstairs and quickly disappeared into the bathroom again. When he was ready and wanted to go to the guest room, he met Tom, who was just coming up the stairs.
“Good night, Tom.” Luka looked at Tom and stumbled over a shoe lying around. Tom immediately grabbed his shoulders and thus prevented him from stumbling. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time. Slowly, Luka raised his arm and put it around Tom's neck. Tom didn't take his hands down.
They came closer and closer until their lips almost touched by themselves. Luka closed his eyes with pleasure. These soft lips on his, he couldn't help it, he just had to kiss them. He slowly traced his tongue over the full lips, which also opened and let him in. Luka felt like he was in heaven; he had wanted nothing more than to finally kiss Tom.
Luka couldn't think at all, he was intoxicated.
He didn't want to let go at all. His tongue caressed that of the other, couldn't get enough of this incredibly good feeling.
Then it was pushed back and Tom explored his mouth just as demanding. Both sank so deeply into these caresses that they no longer perceived anything else around them.
But then Tom suddenly broke away, said “Good night,” hurried down the hall and disappeared behind his door.
Luka had to take a deep breath and digest what had just happened.
<He kissed me. Not just a peck on the cheek, no, a real kiss. It was just great. I want more of it, much more.>
Then he went to the guest room, lay down and fell asleep blissfully.
When Luka woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom, he heard Tom and Cora arguing in the kitchen downstairs. He didn't understand the exact words, but he could almost guess what was going on.
Cora probably saw us and is jealous after all. She said she loved him. Well, that's all I need. Although she also said she wished him well. Oh, I don't understand it.>
After he had finished in the bathroom, he went very carefully down to the kitchen. Everything was quiet. Tom was sitting alone at the table, staring into his coffee.
Luka had a lump in his throat, but gathered all his courage. He poured himself some coffee, sat down next to Tom and said:
“Good morning, Tom.”
“Morning.” he replied curtly.
“Is something wrong?”
“Sorry, please don't take yesterday too seriously, the alcohol must have clouded our brains a bit. It won't happen again.“ While he was saying this, he got up, took his coffee and went upstairs. Luka watched him sadly.
“Hello, Luka. Did you sleep well?” Cora greeted him a little later, very friendly.
“Um, yes, thank you for asking, and you?“ Luka didn't know whether she was being sincere or whether a big row was coming.
“Yes, I slept well too. I saw you yesterday. How did you manage that?” she asked him, smiling.
“I, um, I don't know, it just happened,” he stammered.
“Tom doesn't just make out with anyone. Anyone else, but not Tom.”
In a sad voice, he said, “Oh, I don't know. He says it won't happen again.”
“What? Oh, that idiot. I told him not to shut himself off like that again. He should finally let it happen and get involved. He has to come out of his shell at some point. I thought you could do it. Damn it.”
The next Friday, Luka went to the club with Frank again. He spent the evening with the people from the shared flat, taking turns dancing with Markus and Frank, until Frank was approached by a muscleman and later disappeared with him.
Tom was currently spending part of his shift in the emergency room. But his main area of work was in the scientific laboratory, where he primarily dealt with retroviruses, mainly HIV, which was also the subject of his doctoral thesis. Four years ago, he had launched a project with Prof. Dr. Schumann, Director of Infectious Diseases at the University Hospital of Cologne, and some of his former students to research the substances that inhibit the HI virus, uncomplicated tests and the treatment and care of patients, which he now headed.
After his shift, Tom also went to “Brothers”.
As usual, he first visited his patient, the club owner's partner. When he came back down and stood at the bar, he saw Luka on the dance floor. He watched him move to the music for quite a while.
<He's very cute and he's a great dancer, especially not as camp as some others. Why is he so young? He's almost eight years younger than me. But I could like him. At least he doesn't seem as immature as Frank.>
Then their eyes met and Tom felt caught and quickly left the club.
“Oh damn, I don't want to think about him.”
Tom went to another bar to distract himself. But when he was lying in his bed later, Luka was still dancing in his head and he remembered the intimate kiss they had shared. Only after a few strokes of his own and a shower afterwards was he finally able to fall asleep.
During the week, Tom was fully involved in the hospital, and two 24-hour shifts in the emergency room sapped his strength even more.
Then it was weekend again, and Luka was already sitting on the couch, waiting for Frank, who was still getting ready. Tom came home from work, dropped into an armchair with a sigh, put his hands to his face and rubbed his temples.
It was only when he opened his eyes again that he saw Luka sitting there.
“Oh, hello Luka.” He felt a little uncomfortable.
“Hello! You look pretty exhausted. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I don't know, I don't think so.” Tom almost wanted to get up and leave. But Luka seized the opportunity and started a conversation:
“Maybe you should? My father always says that if you talk about it, a big problem is much smaller. What happened?”
“Well, actually something quite normal that happens in a hospital: a patient has died.”
“Oh, and that's why you're so down? Why does it affect you so much when a patient dies?” Luka asked, not letting himself be brushed off so easily.
“Well, it's more that I always feel like I should have been able to prevent it.”
Tom wondered for a while whether it was right to talk to the younger man about it. He sighed inwardly: “Well, why not?”
Just as Tom was about to tell him, Frank came into the kitchen and was finally ready, but Luka said to him:
“You go ahead, I might come with you. I know the way by now.”
“Ok, as you say,” Frank said and left the house.
Luka then asked Tom: ”So tell me.”
“Well, this morning a woman was admitted, car accident. She had multiple fractures and injuries to internal organs, worst of all it had caught the lungs. We fought almost all day for her life. We did everything that was possible. It also looked quite good. Her circulation remained stable, her breathing went back to being independent and then, death. We tried to resuscitate her, but she no longer responded.”
“But that's fate. You did everything you could.”
“Yes, of course, all of us, even the head physician of the emergency room kept coming by in between.”
“Then you must assume that it was unavoidable.”
“Yes, you're right. But I still can't really deal with things like that. I still have to learn to cope with them. If I want to be a good doctor, I can't let myself be so down by such individual fates. The other doctors always try to teach me that too.”
“Then you should listen to them. Her time was up. Then it was meant to be,” Luka said. ”There must be a reason why things sometimes turn out the way they do. We humans don't always understand why certain things happen, or why life sometimes turns out differently than we planned.”
“Yes, we humans don't understand many things. Some can't understand that someone is different. Many have no problem with us homos, but others still have a hard time with it.”
“Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way before. I guess I'm a homo now, too.”
“You're kind of new at it,” Tom agreed with a smile.
“Yes, still fresh and unspent,” Luka joked, actually without any ulterior motive. Until he realized the ambiguity and blushed.
“Oh, I didn't mean it like that at all.”
Tom was tickled pink by the embarrassed face of the blond and the red glow on his cheeks.
“You see, you're feeling a bit better now,” Luka said, trying to hide his embarrassment.
“Yes, thanks for listening. I think I'm hungry now.”
Tom got up and looked in the fridge to see what Cora had prepared for him.
“Do you want something too?”
“Actually, I've already eaten, but I could still manage a snack.” Luka could always eat, no matter how full he was.
While they cleared away the dirty dishes, Tom asked, ‘Didn't you want to go out?”
“I don't feel like it anymore. Frank has probably already picked someone up.’ He liked it much better here with Tom.
“I don't plan on going out either. I'm pretty exhausted today.”
Tom wasn't really that spontaneous, but then he suddenly said,
“Do you want to come up? We can see what TV has to offer.”
Luka looked at him in surprise. Tom invited him to his room. He cheered inside, but didn't let it show.
“Yeah, sure, I'd like that, you can tell me more about yourself. Frank told me that you're working on a project at the hospital,” he immediately started a new topic.
“Wow, Frank knows about my project, I'm surprised he even notices stuff like that.”
“Well, anyway, he said that you're putting a lot of time into it.”
“That's right, it's my baby, so to speak. Klaus, or Professor Schumann, set up this AIDS counseling and care project with me and a few other medical students a few years ago. However, most of the students have moved to other hospitals, so it's all fallen to me, and it takes a lot of time. It doesn't work by itself.”
“I don't really know that much about AIDS. Of course, always condoms and stuff, but otherwise?” said Luka as they walked into Tom's apartment on the first floor. He didn't just have a room; it was a complete apartment that his mother had occupied after the divorce, with a living room, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. He didn't use the kitchen though, since he always ate downstairs. He led Luka into the living room.
“Yes, condoms are definitely the most important thing.” Tom was in his element and talked about himself and his main topic. ”There are various advice centers run by churches or health authorities. But these are mostly employees who are on the outside, moralizers or officials. That's exactly what we didn't want! I'm one of them and they know it, so they come to me and we can talk openly about everything. They know me, I frequent the same clubs as they do, and they can approach me there at any time, and some of them do. Of course, I also have helpers who support me. We also have our brochures displayed in all gay clubs and many other bars here in Cologne. Even my professor's wife fully supports our actions and actively supports us... Would you like a drink? I have water and juice up here.”
“Water's fine.“ Tom fetched a bottle and two glasses from the kitchen and sat down with Luka again.
“Thanks.” Luka took a glass and asked, “But you're the head of the project, right?”
“Yes, you could say that. I specialize in HIV. I did my doctorate on the subject and am now preparing to become a specialist in internal medicine and infectious diseases.”
“How did you come up with the idea of setting up a project for this?“ Luka wanted to know.
“The professor had the original idea. It was supposed to be a six-week internship for a few interested students. But then we all liked it so much that we continued in our free time.”
“And how did it work?” Luka asked, interested.
“Well...” Tom replied and asked in return, ”Where are the viruses?”
“In the blood of the patients.”
“Right, and how do you get this blood?”
“By taking a sample from the patient.”
“Exactly,” Tom continued, ”through the project, we have contact with many HIV patients in various stages of the disease. They are happy to give us their blood for research, which we of course need to examine them, adjust their medication correctly, or offer new medications or therapies in addition to normal medical care. That's how it all began, and now we've expanded it a bit and integrated drug counseling as well. But we have special staff for that,“ Tom explained.
“As a drug counselor, you also have experience. Cora told me.”
“Cora? She told you.” Tom looked at him in wonder. “She doesn't really like to talk about it, but she managed to get clean and now leads a completely normal life.”
“She said that she only has you to thank for that.”
“Well, I only helped her a little with it. She made it through the withdrawal and has been completely clean for several years now.”
“That's quite an achievement.”
“Yes, she did it.”
After a while, Tom got up: “I'll change into something more comfortable and then maybe we can turn on the TV. What do you think?”
“Sure.”
Tom went to his bedroom to change.
Luka grinned to himself. He had managed to have a long conversation with Tom, now he was sitting in his living room and he still hadn't asked him to leave. Luka was pleased with himself.
Luka looked around for the TV, but couldn't find one.
When Tom came back in a T-shirt and sweatpants, he looked at him questioningly: “Where's your TV?”
“Oh, here in the bedroom. We can make ourselves comfortable on the bed. It's not so bad when we fall asleep. After the 24-hour shift, I'm pretty KO.”
“Um... in your bed, okay.” It just got better and better.
Luka could hardly believe his luck. He grinned to himself and followed his crush.
They made themselves comfortable on the wide bed, surfed through the channels, but as usual, only crap came on, so they agreed on a movie on DVD that Luka hadn't seen yet.
Tom seemed to be really tired, he didn't say much anymore and slowly slid deeper and deeper. When Luka looked over at him, he saw that Tom had already closed his eyes.
“It must have been a really exhausting day for him. Now he's sleeping peacefully and I can look at him up close.”
And that's exactly what Luka did now, and he had to pull himself together very hard to keep his fingers to himself. It was a shame that he couldn't look into the deep green eyes, but Tom was a really good-looking man even with his eyes closed.
At some point, the younger one switched off the TV and the DVD player, took off his tight jeans, moved closer to Tom and closed his eyes as well.
When they woke up the next morning, they were lying closely entwined, enjoying each other's warmth. At first, Tom wanted to pull away, but then he couldn't control himself any longer and touched Lukas' beautiful face with his fingertips. He immediately returned the caress, exactly what he had just dreamt. They gently touched each other and explored themselves. They looked deeply into each other's eyes and came closer and closer.
Their lips met and their tongues played with each other. They cuddled like this for quite a while, caressing and holding each other, but their touches remained gentle and were not demanding.
“What are you doing to me?“ Tom asked after a while, looking deep into Luka's eyes and continuing to caress his back.
“I'm just doing the same thing you're doing to me,” Luka replied innocently, breathing feather-light kisses on Tom's neck.
“But it's addictive. I might want more.“ His hand carefully moved under the T-shirt and stroked over the flat stomach.
“Mhm... I won't stop you.” He stretched out towards the hand with relish.
“But you should. Especially if I do something you don't like or if it's all going too fast for you, then you have to tell me.” Tom was trying to rein himself in, but when Luka said, ‘So far I like everything you're doing to me. Keep going, please,’ Tom forgot all about his self-imposed restraint.
His hand slowly pushed the T-shirt up and stroked over Luka's chest, then he pulled the top off. He kissed tenderly over the beautiful face, along the neck, to the small buds that he pampered with his tongue. All Luka could do was let out a sigh of pleasure. He felt his blood flow to his lower regions. He had never been kissed so tenderly before.
Tom caressed and kissed his way over the entire upper body. Then their lips found each other again
They kissed tenderly again, their tongues fought a loving fight and their hands caressed each other and drove each other into higher spheres...
Tom pulled Luka close to him, kissing him tenderly. He continued to caress Luka's neck, nibbling his way up to his ear, and whispering, “That was nice.”
“Yes, wonderful. I think I could get used to this.”
“Yeah, me too. I didn't think this would ever happen to me.”
“What happened to you?“ Luka looked at him uncomprehendingly.
“You!!! You happened to me. You change me, change my way of thinking. You really mess up my emotional world. You feel so good and your kisses taste of more.” He distributed little kisses on the beautiful face until he finally caught the full lips and spoiled them.
“Then take more, that's exactly what I want too. I'm in love with you and I want to know everything.“ He returned the intimate kiss.
“What do you want to know?” Tom looked at him questioningly.
“Well, how it goes with two men, you know.” Luka was a little uncomfortable that he was so inexperienced.
“Oh, I would say we take it slowly. The first time should be something special, shouldn't it?” He stroked Lukas's bottom.
“I read on the internet that it can hurt quite a bit.”
“If you do it right, it doesn't hurt much, so just take it slowly and prepare well.”
“Okay, you would know. I trust you.”
They snuggled for quite a while, caressing each other and enjoying the warmth and tenderness of the other.
At some point, Tom's cell phone rang. Unfortunately, they had to let go of each other and Tom went to find the troublemaker.
“Yes, what is it?
...
What letter?
...
I don't understand, the tax office wants money from us? Why is that?”
...
Yes, what will be best. See you soon.”
Tom sighed and fell back: “Now, unfortunately, we have to get up. Sarah, my deputy on the project, is coming in half an hour. I'll take a quick shower before, you can get ready afterwards in peace.”
He kissed Luka on the lips and disappeared into his bathroom.
When Luka came down, showered and changed, Tom was sitting in the living area talking to Sarah.
With a “Good morning!” Luka went to the kitchenette to get coffee. “Do you want coffee too?”
“Oh yes, coffee!” Sarah smiled at him friendly. “Do you live here now?”
“Um, no, I'm just a guest here, so to speak. I'm Luka,“ he introduced himself as he came into the living area with the pot, three cups, milk and sugar and sat down with them.
“Aha. Hello, I'm Sarah.” Her gaze wandered from Luka to Tom, who was absorbed in the letter, and back again, grinning to himself and then continuing to talk about the problem that had arisen.
Luka enjoyed his coffee and listened to the discussion between the two perplexed people for a while: “Excuse me, if I interfere now, may I see the letter?”
Sarah handed him the letter and he read it carefully.
“Someone may have denounced you, the tax office wouldn't have come up with the idea of sending you a letter like that on its own. Have you issued too many donation receipts?”
“Donation receipts? We don't accept donations,” said Sarah, shocked.
But Tom then explained in more detail: “Well, the tests are billed through the hospital administration in accordance with regulations. What we take in addition to that is negligible. We just have a small piggy bank for the coffee fund, so to speak, that can't be it. We work with the Cologne AIDS Service Organization. If someone wants to donate, we refer them there.”
“All right. What expenses did you have?” Luka asked.
“Expenses? Well, there's quite a bit: brochures, flyers, condoms and other odds and ends. But I paid for those out of my own money or Klaus picked up the odd bill. We don't have any donations.”
“That should be provable. You do have bank statements for it, don't you?”
“Yes, sure, somewhere. I'd have to find them first, they're not really sorted. I don't have a sense for such things.”
“Well, it looks that way. My father is a tax consultant. I could ask him what to do now.”
Sarah was thrilled: “That would be wonderful, of course. I have no idea about financial and legal matters either.”
Luka didn't think about it for long, he just took his cell phone and briefly explained the situation to his father.
He immediately agreed to take care of the matter.
“The letter has all the details, can I take it with me?”
“Yes, of course,” said Tom. Sarah was reassured and said goodbye soon after.
“I'll definitely need the statements and the bills too,” Luka said. Tom was about to jump up: ”Should I find them now?”
“No, not right away. Let's wait and see what my father can achieve. I'll let you know what I need and when, okay?”
“Thanks for taking care of it so easily. I'm pretty clumsy when it comes to financial matters. My private money matters are handled by the company that manages this house. I think it's great that your father wants to help us right away. Judging from our conversation, you and your father seem to get along well,” Tom asked while they were preparing breakfast.
“Yes, we get along great. I can talk to him about anything. I also work part-time in his tax office.”
“And your mother?”
“She's fine too, but she's always busy with my little brother. He's very demanding, but still sweet.”
“I see. How old is your brother?”
“Matti is seven years old and incredibly lively.”
The kitchen was now slowly filling up with the other residents, and as always it was loud and fun.
After a hearty breakfast, Luka set off back home. Tom walked him to the door, thanked him for wanting to help and said goodbye with a passionate kiss.
When Luka was back home, he discussed the situation in detail with his father again, and he also wanted to talk to the Cologne tax office immediately on Monday morning.
On Wednesday, Luka went to Tom's. He had called him beforehand and discussed with him exactly what he should look for and presented him with a prepared letter. Now the whole thing just had to be sent to the tax office so that the wrong decision could be withdrawn there.
They were sitting in Tom's living room, sorting the bills with the bank statements.
Once they had everything together, Luka put it in his bag to copy.
“Do you have some time or do you have to go straight home?”
Tom didn't want to let the younger man go just yet.
“No. Wednesday afternoons I don't go to my father's office, only Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm free then.”
Luka looked at him hopefully. He wanted to spend some time with Tom too and get to know him better.
“Great, then we can make ourselves comfortable. Coffee?”
“Water's fine. Don't go to any trouble. I'd much rather kiss you now,” he said directly, moving closer to Tom and looking at him lovingly.
That's exactly what Tom wanted, too. He had to keep a tight hold on himself the whole time. He hadn't taken his eyes off Luka during his explanations. His gaze was fixed on the sweet full lips that he now finally wanted to touch.
He stroked Luka's cheeks tenderly, gently ran his thumb over his lips, let his hand move to his neck and pulled him closer so that their lips met.
They kissed for quite a while, exchanged caresses, explored each other.
But Tom wanted more.
“Tell me if I'm going too fast. I would love to touch you everywhere.”
“This isn't too fast, I want it too. This feels so good.”
Their lips met again and Tom explored Lukas' mouth extensively, but was then pushed back sensually. They fought tenderly for dominance.
Sometimes they became more demanding, sometimes more affectionate again. Tom's hand wandered over the blonde's chest and slowly pushed the sweater higher and higher until he pulled it over his head. Again, they lost themselves in tender and arousing caresses.
...
Tom snuggled up to Luka's chest.
After they had cuddled extensively, Luka went to the bathroom to wash. Tom also took off his stained trousers and followed him into the bathroom, stood in the doorway and looked unabashedly at the beautiful body.
When Tom stepped behind him and put his arms around him, he was just drying himself off.
“It's nice with you,” Tom breathed in his ear.
“Yes, I think so, too.“ Luka turned in the embrace and kissed Tom's lips.
“I would like to go further, too.” He returned the intimate kiss and held Luka close to him.
When Tom had washed himself, with Luka not letting him out of his sight, they went into the bedroom and snuggled up in bed.
“You've had sex with girls before, haven't you?”
“Yes, I have, but it's different with you.” The younger boy gently stroked Tom's well-defined chest muscles.
“Yes, of course. I'm a man.”
“Yes, no, I... um, I'm in love with you. With the girls, everything always happened pretty quickly. You know, at parties, you just disappear for a few minutes, and that's it.”
“Have you never been with a girl for a longer period of time?”
“No, it was always just about getting the girls into bed as quickly as possible.”
“Nothing with cozy cuddling and snuggling?” He hugged Luka tenderly and stroked his back again and again.
“No, not really. OK, I like to dance, it's always handy for picking up girls, you already snog a bit. But somehow it always quickly turned into something more and you just disappeared into the back room or the car.”
“Can you stay overnight or is that a problem?” Tom wanted to know a little later.
“No, no problem! I should just let you know that my parents won't worry, then I can stay here if you want?”
“Yes, I would like you to stay with me a little longer. You can still get to university from here tomorrow morning.”
“I'll just call home.”
“Yes, of course.”
They kissed and caressed each other for quite a while until Tom asked:
“I don't really know much about you, so why don't you tell me something about yourself?”
“Oh, you already know the most important things. I live with my parents in a suburb of Krefeld, I have a little brother, and I work in my father's tax office while I study. Until recently, I always went to discos in Krefeld with my friends from school,” Luka began to tell and snuggled up a little closer to Tom.
“Yes, I already know that, but not what kind of music you listen to, what books you read or what else you do in your free time.”
“Music? I love listening to metal and rock, really cool. But I also love to dance to all kinds of music. I don't really read books, only what we had to read at school. I do a little sport with a buddy. We really wanted to play ice hockey, you know, we wanted to be the Krefeld Penguins, but our two body measurements did not fit the scheme. I have a few muscles, but I'm way too thin and Alex had zero stamina and was way too sensitive, every little blow gave him a huge bruise. He was injured far too often. But we still sometimes train with the guys from the B-team. Otherwise...”, Luka continued to think and stroked Tom's chest tenderly with his hand: ”Leisure time, well, there's my brother. If he notices that I'm not planning anything special, he's bound to come up with something super great that we absolutely have to do. My mother is also happy when he is usefully occupied. We sometimes go in-line skating or ice skating, then he's always quite happy and, above all, quite tired in the evening and goes to bed voluntarily. Otherwise, I hang around with the boys from my old class; just now in the summer after the stress of graduating from high school, there was one party after another.”
Tom listened with interest. He wanted to get to know the younger boy and find out everything about him. He had fallen in love and wanted to let it happen. Again and again, he stroked Lukas' skin with his fingers.
“And there was probably a lot going on,” the older one asked.
“Well, not for me. I somehow realized that it's not really my thing to switch from one girl to another. But I don't understand the women either. They even kept tally sheets. Imagine that. Katja wanted to go to bed with all the guys in her year and they were betting on whether she would make it to graduation.”
“So? Did she make it?”
“No, she didn't have me, for example. But fat Horst did.” He showed an enormous girth with his arms and puffed out his cheeks. ‘It's really gross and all just for a bet.”
Tom was having a great time with the bloated face.
“Well, I'm no womanizer either.”
“Have you ever been with a woman?’ Luka wanted to know.
“No, I was in a boys-only boarding school and in the discovery phase, i.e. puberty, there were only boys around and it was always somehow clear to me that I was only into boys.”
“Now it's your turn: family, music, books, leisure time, first great love, etc.”
Luka ran his fingers through his black hair and then scratched Tom's neck.
“The people in the flat share are my family, especially Cora,” Tom began to tell: ”My mother died in an accident, my father lives in Hamburg and I have no brothers or sisters. When it comes to music, I don't have a particular direction, what's in the charts, but when it comes to books, I like Shakespeare or fantasy, vampires and demons, where a lot of blood flows. I don't have any free time, I spend it with everything that belongs to my project or in the corresponding bars. I don't want to talk about my first love now, maybe later, okay?”
“Yes, sure,” Luka replied sympathetically. ”But a few things have to change with your free time, because I would like a little of it.”
“Oh, of course. But there are also some things that concern the project that you can accompany me on. For example, going to events or to various clubs. I just want to be seen there from time to time, reminding people to think about the HIV antibody test again.”
“Are there actually many gay clubs here in Cologne?” Luka wanted to know.
“Well, there are quite a few. Cologne is a gay stronghold. There are some clubs with live shows, SM and so on. But there are also quite a few clubs and discos where straights and gays socialize together. Then there are some cafes that are very gay-friendly. As I said, I spend my free time there talking to the owners or managers and handing out our brochures.
“So you're really drumming up business for your project.”
“Exactly, everyone who works on the project does that. Everyone has their specialty. I'm responsible for the gay scene, Georg is our streetwalker, he takes care of the hustlers and drug addicts, and Sarah is the psychologist. But I'm the chief, so to speak, and I have to be seen everywhere from time to time.”
They talked for quite a while, cuddled in between and dozed off a little, and when it was time for dinner, they went down to the kitchen.
No one was surprised that Luka was now there on Wednesdays as well, but when he went back up with Tom after dinner, they were followed by a few astonished glances, but the two of them didn't notice that anymore. They only had eyes for each other. When they got upstairs, Luka gently pulled Tom into the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed.
This time his lips went on a journey of discovery, kissing slowly over Tom's face, along his chin and up the side again to his ear. He played with his tongue on Tom's ear, nibbled carefully on it, then moved to the sensual lips to capture them. Their tongues entwined again and again.
A little out of breath, Luka's mouth slowly moved down. One hand had already slipped under Tom's sweater some time ago and was now playing with the hard nipples. Luka now pulled the annoying fabric out completely and lay down on top of Tom.
“It's so nice with you,” Luka whispered in Tom's ear after they broke the kiss again.
Luka moved very slightly.
“You know you're driving me crazy here,“ Tom could only reply with difficulty.
“Welcome to the club, I've been doing it since I first saw you.”
Now Luka slid down bit by bit, kissing.
“Luka, please,” Tom just moaned.
...
After a while, Luka smiled at Tom lovingly and said:
“You're beautiful.”
“What? Oh, not nearly as cute as you.”
“Cute?”
“Yes, you smile like a sweet angel.”
“But I'm no angel.”
“Oh yes, you are.”
The next morning, Luka almost overslept, so breakfast was pretty hectic and Frank couldn't talk to him until they were on the train on the way to university: “Well, how was it?”
“Um, it was great,” was Luka's curt reply.
“What? Great? Tell me, I want to know everything, every detail.“ Frank was almost bursting with curiosity and kept shifting on his seat.
“What? No, I'm not going to tell everyone everything.”
“Oh come on, you can't fob me off with just ‘great’.”
“He is very affectionate,” Luka allowed himself to say.
“So? How did he feel? Tell me.“ Frank was getting more and more impatient.
“I don't know, we haven't got that far yet.”
“Excuse me?” Frank shouted in horror.
“Frank, please don't shout like that, the whole train doesn't need to know.” Luka would have liked to have shut his mouth.
“You're telling me that you spent the whole night with your dream guy and you didn't do it. I can't believe it. Luka, you disappoint me!” Frank said a little quieter. ‘I thought you finally wanted to know.”
“But there's no need to rush into anything,’ Luka defended himself.
“Rushing!!! You've known each other for at least four weeks and had the whole night, so please don't say it's rushing.” Honestly, Luka.”
“Please, Frank, I don't want to discuss this with you now. It's my and Tom's business.”
“Yes, all right. Are you and Tom together now?”
“We agreed that I'll come to you from the university again tomorrow. He'll be home then.”
“I guess you could call that a date. Well, who would have thought that.”
Cora also ambushed Tom as soon as he came down. He was on late duty.
“Have you changed your mind?” she immediately attacked him.
“What do you mean?“ Tom poured himself some coffee and sat down at the table to eat breakfast.
“What else, with Luka, of course. He was with you all night, wasn't it a hallucination this morning?” She also poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down with Tom.
“Yes, he stayed here, so what?” He spread butter on a slice of toast with great composure.
“You like him? I knew there was something going on between you two.”
“Cora, I...“ Tom put the knife down and looked at Cora pleadingly, but she didn't let up:
“You've finally fallen in love again. I think that's sooooo great. You can't imagine how happy I am for you,” she beamed.
“It's all still very fresh. I don't know yet how it will develop.”
“If you don't do anything stupid and don't resist it, it will definitely turn out well. He's quite in love with you. You just have to let it happen. Tom, you can't stay alone forever. You can be happy too, not just the others. You too!”
“He's still so young.”
“Oh Tom, what's the point? He's not a child anymore. I think he knows exactly what he wants.” Cora stirred her coffee.
“Yes, you may be right. If I didn't know he was only 19. He seems so mature and strong to me. The way he took care of the tax office so easily. He has the security of his family behind him, something we never had, Cora.”
“Do his parents know that he's gay?”
“No, not yet. Hopefully they're really as great as he describes them. Hopefully they'll react positively when he tells them. Of course, that could cause problems.”
“Well, let's hope that it all stays within reason.”
Tom picked up his knife again and continued to spread jam on his now cold toast.
“Can I have the car, I'd like to go shopping,“ Cora asked.
“Yes, sure, I don't have to be at the clinic until 2:00 p.m.” He wanted to work on a report at home today anyway.
“Great, I'll go right away. See you.”
On Friday evenings, they would go out for Chinese food, hand in hand, strolling through the old town, stopping at several cafes and pubs. Tom always spoke briefly with the owners or the waiters and then they would move on. He also greeted many other people, and Luka had the feeling that Tom seemed to know almost everyone.
Time and again, Luka was the subject of appraising glances, which made him feel a little uncomfortable. Some of the looks were envious, others admiring, and still others rather disparaging. Tom noticed this too and repeatedly put his arm around Lukas's shoulder in a possessive manner.
Until they ended up at the Brothers and joined Markus, Frank and the others. Frank was pretty busy with a muscleman, though, and Markus was flirting with a guy too.
After the waiter had brought the drinks, Luka wanted to know, “Are we going to stay here a while or go somewhere else tonight?”
“I think we've seen enough for today. What do you think about finishing our beers in peace and then going home?”
“Yes, I think that's a great idea. I'd like to be alone with you,” Luka whispered in Tom's ear. ”I don't like making out here like Frank. I feel like I'm being watched.”
“Yes, that could well be,“ Tom replied and pulled Luka into a hug.
“Somehow I have the feeling that many pairs of eyes are directed at us,” Luka stated as he looked around.
“I'm known as a lone wolf here, so to speak, and suddenly you're by my side. But I think that will change over time. But making out in public is also not my thing.”
“I agree. Cuddling a little while dancing is still okay, but anything more is not for onlookers.” Luka finished his glass.
“Then we should say goodbye soon to be alone.”
“OK, what are you waiting for? My beer is empty. I'm ready to go.”
“Good, mine too. Then let's go home.”
On the way home, it wasn't always just holding hands. Tom put his arm around Luka's shoulder and Luka put his around Tom's waist. They kept stopping to kiss and caress each other.
When they arrived home, Luka stopped in front of the bedroom door, pushed Tom up against the wall with his body and kissed him hungrily.
A little out of breath, he breathed: “Tom, make love to me!”
“Oh, Luka, you really want it, huh. Okay, maybe we can start with a few preparations. I promised you that we would take it slow. I don't want to hurt you at all, so we have to prepare you well first.”
“Tom, please, don't talk so much, just start.”
Luka pulled Tom into the bedroom, dropped onto the bed, pulled Tom with him and devoured him with demanding kisses.
“You're making me very confused. Luka.”
Now Tom couldn't and wouldn't hold back any longer either. He unbuttoned Luka's shirt and distributed a thousand kisses on his chest.
Luka was growing impatient. For him, it was all going much too slowly. He turned on Tom and took off his shirt and then his trousers.
“If you carry on like this, there won't be anything left for your first time today.”
He turned Luka under him. Now he kissed his way slowly down and opened the disturbing trousers and pushed them down with the boxer until they landed next to the bed.
...
After they had caught their breath, Tom snuggled up to his angel.
Many kisses and caresses later: “Tom, I love you.”
“Yes, my angel, I love you too... Are you feeling comfortable?”
“Yes, I feel great. I don't have any aches or pains, you were careful enough. But I didn't think sex could be so exhausting. It's all so different.” He suppressed a yawn.
“Yeah? Is that it?” Tom asked, while he stroked lazily with one hand over Luka's stomach.
“I didn't know what you could feel during it all. Tom, I love you.”
“And I love you.”
They cleaned themselves up a bit and fell asleep, snuggled close together.
Tom took Luka to the hospital on Saturday. The rooms for the project were right next to the laboratory. The staff were initially reserved around Luka, but when Tom introduced him as his boyfriend, he saw astonished and admiring faces.
“You already know Sarah.”
“Yes, hello Sarah.”
“Hello, you two. Oh Tom, I'm so happy for you. Since I've known you, you've been single. Finally, someone has taken you out of your shell.”
“Yes, I guess so,” Tom beamed, but then he was approached by someone else and went with him into an adjoining room. Luka stayed with Sarah.
“Oh Luka, thanks again for taking care of the tax office so well. We can definitely use someone like you here. We don't have anyone to take care of the legal and financial matters.”
They talked for quite a while about the incompetence of tax officials until Tom came back. He pulled Luka into another room.
“We wanted to do a test, didn't we?”
“That's what we came here for. Are we going to do it now?”
“Yes, should we make it official, or just a quick test first?”
Luka thought about it for a moment and then decided:
“I'd like it to be quick and official.”
“OK, then we'll do the quick test now and you'll get a certificate from me with the result,” Tom began to explain, ‘While the test is running, about 20 minutes, could you please fill out this form for me?’ He handed him a clipboard with a sheet full of questions. ”Some of the information is mandatory and some is voluntary. I'll take the rest of the blood for the official test. You will get the results here in a few days. You just need to bring your number. Give me your arm.”
While he was explaining everything, he was already preparing everything, taking the blood and writing the number of the test strip on the questionnaire. He also took blood from himself and did a quick test.
When the time was up and all the formalities were completed, Tom filled out the negative certificate for the quick test for Luka and gave him a lot of information material about the project, the Cologne AIDS service organization and HIV and AIDS in general. As expected, his own test was negative and he showed that to Luka too.
Tom hugged his angel and kissed him deeply.
After chatting with the others for a while, they said goodbye again, because Tom actually had the day off.
They spent a very fulfilling weekend. Luka went home on Sunday at noon, because Tom's shift started at 2:00 p.m.
They didn't see each other on Monday or Tuesday because Tom was on duty and Luka worked in his father's office after university, but they spoke on the phone in the evening. It wasn't until Wednesday that they could see each other again, but Luka went home again that evening. On Friday, he went to the flat share with Frank after university and waited for Tom. They spent a very romantic evening together and Tom surprised him in the morning with breakfast in bed.
Since Tom had to go back to the hospital on Saturday afternoon, Luka set off for home. He was just getting ready for a quiet weekend when his cell phone rang. His school friend Alex called.
“Hi Luka, I wanted to ask if you have time for your old friends?”
“Hello Alex, I'm just on my way to Krefeld. What are you planning?”
“We wanted to go skating. Do you want to come with us?”
“Yes, I haven't planned anything for today. When are you meeting up?”
“Now, in a few minutes. My car is still broken. I'm standing here at the station waiting for the tram. I'm meeting up with Uwe at the ice rink, he's bringing Lisa with him, by the way. Oh, you don't know that, they're together now.”
“Really, well, it's no big surprise. Lisa has been flirting with him for a long time. I think I still have the skates in the car. Wait for me, I'll be there in ten minutes.”
“Sure, I'll wait for you in the parking lot. Then we can drive to the ice rink in your car.”
“Sure, see you in a minute.”
Alex had been his friend for as long as he could remember. He lived in the neighborhood and their parents were friends. They were in the same class and had always gotten along well.
After graduating from high school, Alex had started an apprenticeship as a banker.
Luka called his parents on his cell phone to let them know he was on his way, and then his train pulled into Krefeld.
After a brief greeting, they went straight to the ice rink.
They stayed at the stadium almost the whole afternoon, went to the cafeteria for something to eat in between, and met other friends from school. They had a lot of fun.
Uwe and Lisa had already said goodbye when Luka asked, “Do you want me to take you home, or do you have other plans?”
“Yes, home first. But tonight I'm going out with the guys again. A new disco has opened a bit out of town. Wanna come?”
They put on their street shoes again and made their way to the car.
“No, I'm totally exhausted now. I didn't really sleep much last night and now the skating. I'll be glad to get to bed right away.”
Luka put his skates back in the trunk and knocked over his backpack, causing some brochures from the project and the AIDS service organization to fall out.
“What are these brochures?“ Alex reached for them too and looked at Luka in amazement.
“Don't tell me you've been tested, why would you?” You don't screw around that much.” They got in and drove off.
“No, I don't. But you could go for a test. Are you sure you always used a condom?“ Luka looked at him intently as they had to stop at the exit of the parking lot.
“No, of course not, if the girls say they're on the pill, I can save myself the rubber,” said Alex, fiddling with the radio.
“Wrong! Do you know who was in it before?”
“No, of course not. But I don't really care.”
“You see, you could have been infected in theory and you're passing it on too.”
Alex looked at him indignantly: “Hey, have you gone over to being a moralizer now, or what?”
“Oh nonsense, I'm just saying. I'm involved in a project now that's about AIDS and drug counseling.“ He had to stop at a red light.
“But you're studying tax law, not medicine, right?” It turned green and they were able to continue.
“Right, and that's exactly how I help them. They had problems with the tax office and I was able to help a little. And we just hand out these brochures in the relevant clubs.”
“Oh, well, say so right away.” Alex slowly relaxed again and leaned back. ”I got a fright. That's why you have the brochures in your pocket.”
“Yes, well, I'm negative. I even have it in writing.”
“You really got tested?”
“Yeah, sure, why not. I knew I always used condoms, so I didn't need to be afraid.”
“Isn't that actually more for gays, junkies or hookers?”
“Yes, mostly, but the sluts you're doing it with are definitely also at risk.”
“Whoa! You're really scaring me. Maybe I should really get tested, then at least I'll know I don't have it. Oh man.”
Meanwhile, they had arrived at Alex's parents' house and as he got out, he asked again:
“Don't you want to come with me today after all?”
“Nah, I just want to take a shower and go to bed.”
“You've really changed since you started studying in Cologne. I don't know yet if I like it or not.”
“Oh Alex, everyone develops. University, the people in Cologne and so many other new things have come up to me, of course that affects someone.” Luka didn't want to say more yet. At some point he would have to tell Alex about Tom as well.
“Sure. I understand that too. But we'll still be friends.”
“Yes, of course we are friends, we had a lot of fun today. Didn't we? Until next time.”
“See you, and thanks for the ride.”
Alex slammed the door and Luka drove the few meters further to his parents' house.
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Little Lies